//------------------------------// // IT BEGINS! // Story: Villains Of Equestria Unite! // by Mr. Grimm //------------------------------// The sun was shining brilliantly over the Technicolor realm of Equestria when something large and scientifically impossible came drifting in over the border. It was quite fortunate that none of Equestria’s inhabitants could see it, as they might otherwise send a distressed letter to the Princess. However, as the actual appearance of the object is quite mind-blowingly awesome, it shall be described to you. It was a massive machine, roughly five-hundred feet in length. It vaguely resembled a submarine, covered in thick steel plates bearing spikes of various lengths. The front of this monstrosity bore a strong resemblance to a massive pony skull constructed of titanium, with windows in its glaring eye sockets. It was here within the domed cranium of the creature that War Horse had relocated his guests, herding them onto the airship at gunpoint. Currently they were seated at a table in the exact arrangement they had been at War Horse’s castle, though a few were somewhat more nervous as their host had an unknown variety of firearm in his hoof. “Gentle-Colts…BEHOLD!” cried the equine, “We have breached Equestria’s border! MUHAHAHAHAHA!” “Wait a moment, you fool,” growled Nightmare Moon, “Weren’t we just in Equestria during your stupid meeting?” “Yes!” replied War Horse, “But I needed to obtain some din-din! BEHOLD! I have brought sustenance! MUHAHAHA!” He tossed a bag of wonder-bread onto the table, followed by some butter-knives and two jars of peanut butter. For a moment everyone just stared at it. This pause was somehow noticeable to War Horse, who did not apparently do well with social cues. He responded to the silence by holding up the gun again. “Eat it,” he bellowed in a manner most threatening, “You must acquire the recommended daily intake of protein!” Nightmare Moon gave him a disgusted look and reduced the food into particles with a single blast of her horn. Trixie winced as she saw this, as she had actually been hoping to get something to eat. War Horse fumed as he looked at Nightmare Moon. “Fool!” he thundered, “Now you shall suffer the wrath of my minion Gregor!” The moment he spoke, something began to move in the corner. All eyes turned to look as a dust-covered form stepped out from the room’s dark shadows. None had noticed him before hand, as he was sitting too still to be seen. Slowly, an ancient goat with crooked horns appeared, his mangy body creaking with each movement. “Gregor!” thundered War Horse, “Execute the impudent moon-beast!” Gregor turned and squinted with cloudy eyes at Nightmare Moon. Strangely, he did not seem intimidated by her, even when she shot a fiery gaze at him. “Nu-uh,” grunted the aged goat as he turned around and shuffled back to his corner. This was followed by an awkward silence, during which Gilda impatiently drummed her claws on the table. “Pardon us for asking, Mr. War Horse,” Flim asked nervously, “But, um, when where you gonna tell us about that brilliant plan you were cookin’ up?” “In a moment,” the armored equine replied, exposing his teeth in an evil smile, “All will be revealed.” The ‘moment’, as it turned out, was actually somewhere around three to four hours, during which War Horse sat in his chair unmoving with the evil smile still on his face. During this period of time, unable to escape the confines of the airship, the remaining villains had begun a particularly cutthroat game of poker. “Three Aces!” Discord cried as he triumphantly slammed his cards with his tail, as he was unable to use his hands. Everyone groaned as he reached out and pulled all of the winnings toward himself. Among them were such items as Trixie’s hat, the majority of the gems the Diamond Dogs kept in their pockets, Ahuitzotl’s armbands, Nightmare Moon’s armor, several patents to various machines built by the FlimFlam Brothers, and some bits from everyone else, as they had nothing of particular importance to give. But as he looked them over, Discord paused and gave an oily smile to Chrysalis, who sat looking away with a spiteful frown on her face. “Excuse me, my dear Chrysalis,” said the Draconequus, “But if memory serves correct, you didn’t ante up for this round.” The changeling’s eyes suddenly went wide. “No fair!” cried Trixie as she waved an accusing hoof at Chrysalis, “The Great and Powerful Trixie had to give up her hat!” “Well I don’t have anything to give!” snapped Chrysalis, “So what do you want from me?” “How about that your crown?” Discord asked as he flicked the unusual little ornament atop her head, knowing it would strike a chord with the changeling. She reacted exactly as predicted, surrounding herself with a protective wall of green fire. Discord smirked, and stuck his claws into the fire. Exposed to the magical fires fueled by Chrysalis’s inexhaustible reserves of hatred for the Draconequus, the Chinese finger trap was immediately disintegrated. “Thank you,” said Discord. Everyone gaped at him with nervous looks on their faces, not knowing what the living embodiment of chaos would do now that he was freed once more. “Alright then,” said the chimerical creature as he rubbed his claws together, “Time for me to turn everyone into Jello.” This drew a frightened look from the others, who, as most beings would, detested being turned into Jello. Their fear turned to confusion as Discord burst out laughing. “You should see the looks on your faces! Priceless!” He wiped a tear of laughter from his eye, “No need to fear, dear citizens of soon-to-be-Discordia. I’m just going stick around until this whole thing’s over.” “Why?” grumbled Nightmare Moon, “You have the power to take over Equestria at any moment. Why not do it now?” “Do I detect a hint of jealousy, Nighty-Night?” the Draconequus asked smugly, “I’m surprised you’d even ask that. Let’s review.” The omnipotent creature made a pointer stick materialize in his lion’s paw and tapped the metal wall. “We are in an airship, heading towards an unknown destination at high speed.” He moved to point at the still-frozen War Horse. “And we are being led by a stallion who suffers from at least eight different mental disorders.” Discord suddenly pointed at everyone else in the room. “Who, in his insanity, has gathered a hodgepodge grouping of second-rate villains,” he turned the pointer at himself, “And moi, the future ruler of the universe, to take over Equestria.” The Draconequus put his avian arm around the fuming Nightmare Moon, “So, in conclusion, this is going to end in a delightful outbreak of chaos. Why would I want to miss out on it?” “I was hoping you would stay with us, Lord of Chaos! MUHAHAHAHA!” Everyone jumped as War Horse suddenly snapped out of his catatonic state and started waving his gun around. “Gentle-colts…We are now hovering precariously over our destination! We shall now commence the activation of Operation Lemons! GREGOR!” A gray blur suddenly rocketed from the corner and impacted Discord’s reptilian leg with a painful thwack. Discord cried out in pain and fell over clutching his knee as Gregor turned around and limped back to his corner. Chrysalis, being rivals with the Draconequus, laughed childishly at his misfortune. “You just got defeated…by a goat!” the changeling panted between bursts of snickering. “Oh really?” grunted Discord as he climbed back to his feet, “At least I wasn’t defeated by a couple of yuppie newlyweds.” Chrysalis’s face was suddenly devoid of humor as she shot a venomous glare at the Draconequus. “At least one of them was an Alicorn,” snorted the changeling, “What about the six bumpkins that resealed you in stone with the power of ‘friend-ship’?” “The same six that gave your entire army the thrashing of their lives?” Discord shot back. The two stood glaring at each other, ready to tear the other’s throat out. As everyone’s attention was focused on the tension between the two, they failed to notice that the Windigos were increasing in size at an exponential rate. This was of course because the rivalry between Discord and Chrysalis was so strong that it was equivalent to an entire nation of ponies hating each other, or, to put it in human terms, New York City. The winter spirits began to circle around the airship, looking for a place to escape. War Horse pressed a button, opening an air vent. The Windigos fled out into the sky and began to circle the ship, which had stopped over a particular town called Ponyville.