Princess Celestia moved with an unmistakable spring in her step. There could be no doubt about it, she was almost bouncy, and her usual reserved, restrained, dignified walk was now springy. A ruler she might be, but she was also a mare, and she was in love—she wanted to pronk through the halls and sing about it.
Princess Cadance and Prince Consort Shining Armor fell into pace beside her, with Shining Armor trotting double time to keep up with the longer legged alicorns. Shining Armor wore his dress armor and his helmet.
As they walked, Shining Armor looked up at Princess Celestia and asked, “Are you excited?” A look of concern spread over his own features. “Are you nervous? Are you worried?”
“Shiny,” Cadance said in a low voice, “not so many questions.”
“I’m worried,” Shining Armor admitted to his wife.
“I’m fine.” Celestia looked at Cadance and then at Shining Armor. “How is Gosling?”
“He was a little rough when I checked in on him,” Shining Armor replied in a voice thick with anxious energy, “But I think that Private Gosling will pull through. He’s already in the press room, waiting.”
“Sleet is quite a character.” Cadance let out a melodious giggle as she trotted beside her aunt. “She and I talked this morning. I like Sleet. She radiates powerful love.”
“Where is Sleet now?” Celestia asked.
“She is with my mother, Twilight Velvet, watching over Flurry Heart,” Shining Armor replied. “We’re here… are you sure you’re okay, Auntie?” Shining Armor came to a halt and looked up at Celestia with wide, concerned eyes. “I only ask because I know how you can be.”
Standing at the door, Celestia looked down at Shining. “I’m fine, really.” Celestia’s brows furrowed. “Is Prince Blueblood in place in case the press become vicious?”
“Yes, and he is in a fantastic mood this morning. So much snark just bottled up and waiting.” Cadance, who now stood beside her aunt, gestured at the door. “Age before beauty.”
“Cadance, you little whippersnapper.” Celestia’s eyes narrowed and she gave her niece a mock-menacing stare. “Just you wait, there will come a day…”
“Let’s do this,” Shining Armor said as he pushed open the door.
Stepping into the room, Princess Celestia took stock of everything she could as she entered. Gosling, her precious Gosling, was wearing his armor, but without the uniformity spell that would turn him into a spotless white pegasus with no cutie mark. He was on full display. He was standing next to Prince Blueblood, who was sitting on a cushion, looking bored and disinterested. Beside Blueblood, Raven sat on a different cushion, a stern, almost harsh looking glare upon her face. Nothing about her looked friendly, warm, or inviting. Perfect.
Raven was the face of raw intimidation and Blueblood was pure snark, while Celestia herself was pure, radiant sunshine. Between the three of them, the public was managed and the press was wrangled. Gosling’s role had not yet been decided, the three of them had yet to see Gosling’s own natural inclination, but once his natural gifts had been determined, he would be groomed to play his part and play it well.
As Celestia moved to stand behind the podium, with Shining Armor and Cadance at her sides, it was Raven who addressed the awaiting press, standing up and speaking to them in a flawless, clarion voice.
“Greetings, members of the press, you were summoned here today for a momentous, historical announcement.” Raven cleared her throat with a muted, polite cough, glanced at Private Gosling, and then gestured to Princess Celestia. “Your Princess has something to tell you and I, Raven, her most trusted advisor, would like to remind you to be on your best behaviour. Thank you, in advance.”
Almost as if on cue, every head in the press box turned to look at Princess Celestia. Princess Cadance stood on her right, while Prince Consort Shining Armor stood on her left. Only the sun itself matched the luminosity of Princess Celestia’s smile.
The press waited and silence thundered through the room. Princess Celestia stood at the podium, blinking, looking down at the little ponies in the press box, a wide, beaming smile upon her muzzle, but no words seemed forthcoming, as she had become frozen. The corner of her eye twitched and there was a faint rustle of feathers.
“Good news, everypony,” Cadance said to the press, “your beloved princess has begun courting her future consort!” Cadance nudged her aunt, worried, but wore a mask of perfect, unflappable calm.
“He is the handsome, debonair fellow right over there,” Shining Armor said, stepping in and picking up the slack. He pointed to Gosling with his hoof. “Private Gosling, would you please come up here and stand with us?” As Shining Armor spoke, there was murmuring from the press box.
Saluting, Private Gosling responded with barely a second’s delay to the command given to him. He moved with well practiced, precise, militaristic grace as he mounted the dias where the podium was, and he positioned himself beside Shining Armor.
With his natural pelt colour of black, grey, and silver, Private Gosling made for a stunning bit of eye candy in his golden armor. Several photos were snapped, flashbulbs popped, and the sounds of the press talking amongst themselves could be heard throughout the room.
“I like Private Gosling,” Princess Celestia managed to say in a reedy voice.
Turning his head, Prince Blueblood raised one eyebrow, almost as if daring the press to say something impolite, and he gave Princess Celestia a worried glance. He then turned his steely, sarcastic gaze upon the press, glowering at them. No amount of flower power could match his glower power.
“Princess Celestia has found herself a boy toy,” a mare in the press box said. “She’s found herself a schoolyard playmate to help her pass the time.”
The room filled with a rush of sound, but was silenced by Raven clearing her throat.
“Forgive me,” Princess Celestia said in a voice that cracked with worry, “but I just realised that I am inviting all of you to share in a very private moment of my life. Private moments. Many private moments. Private Gosling and I are still getting to know one another. He has my affection… he is very dear to me and just now, while standing here, I came to a realisation of what I am subjecting him to. I understand that our courtship is going to be the focal point of the public interest. I understand that there is going to be much speculation…” Princess Celestia’s words trailed off and she stood staring at the ponies who stared at her.
“What she is asking is that you insufferable, degenerate, parasitic, garbage digging, filth worshiping, window peeping, public toilet accosting, half witted, malodorous twits show a little restraint and mercy—”
“Prince Blueblood!” Princess Cadance said in a shocked voice, falling back on the rehearsed and scripted plan of what to do if things went a little sideways. Cadance could not fault Blueblood for running interference, but did he have to do it so well? She studied the press box, trying to gauge reactions. Many ears were drooping and quite a few of them looked suitably shocked, but also shamed—and also guilty. The guilty looks were telling, saying everything that needed to be said. Blueblood had once again done his job, being the royal bastard that the Royal Pony Sisters needed him to be.
The press had not turned outright vicious yet, but Blueblood had made a preemptive strike. As much as she wanted to, Cadance could not fault him. This was a bloody business, and Blueblood was a seasoned player in this game. She glanced at Gosling, then back out at the press. She felt a growing tension at the base of her skull and it caused the muscles in her neck to tighten. She could feel it, her alicorn senses told her that danger was coming. This was going to be a bloodbath. Maybe not today, but soon.
“Can she have nothing that makes her happy without you mite ridden vultures soiling it?” Prince Blueblood asked in a dry, haughty voice. “Ugh, my lungs feel soiled just sharing the very same air that the rest of you breathe! You disgust me!”
“Prince Blueblood, that’s enough,” Shining Armor said in a commanding voice.
Shrugging, the snide, sarcastic prince made no reply. The tension in the room grew. The sound of pens scratching over paper filled the room. There were a few more photographs. Cadance’s worry gnawed at her. The manticores were hungry and blood was in the air.
“I think I need some air,” Princess Celestia said in a low voice to Shining Armor, who stood beside her.
Shining Armor's military bearing was strong and cut through the tension in the room like a knife when he barked, “Private Gosling, we must be going. Please assist your princess.”
“Sir, it is both a duty and a privilege, Sir,” Gosling responded in a flinty voice that made the princess he served blink with surprise.
Princess Celestia found herself being herded out, with Shining Armor on one side and Private Gosling on the other. The gentle, soft spoken Gosling she knew was gone, now replaced with a stranger. His hardness shocked her. Private though he might be, his aura of authority, his voice of command, his bearing and presence were unmistakable. She now understood why others were hopeful of him becoming an officer. She was going to have to pull him aside and have a word with him in private.
She heard the press murmuring as she departed and could not help but think about what she had seen, what she had witnessed. She had hoped for a joyful occasion, but Raven had been right. The press was only motivated by sensationalism, not by journalism. Not any more. Saddened, she shook her head, knowing that she had witnessed the end of an era. What had happened to the fourth estate? She would mourn its passing. Some presence had filled the room and Celestia had not felt more vulnerable and exposed than she had in there in a long, long time. Her skin had crawled.
Overcome with anxiety, with stress, Princess Celestia felt her stomach lurch. Unable to give warning, or to say why she had to depart suddenly, she teleported away, vanishing in a flash of light, departing through the aether so that she might hurry to the restroom.
Pacing, Cadance tried to contain her nervous energy. She crossed the room in just a few steps, her long legs making short work of the available floorspace. A dreadful scowl hung from her muzzle and her eyes remained narrowed. Her ears went from being pinned to her skull to being pitched forwards in an aggressive manner, then back again.
Blueblood was lounging on a fainting couch, drinking wine and looking bored as he watched Cadance pace. He held his wine glass close to his muzzle and after heaving a sigh of ennui, he took a drink a drained half of the glass in a single gulp.
“What… what just went on in there?” Shining Armor asked.
“The first shots fired in a war,” Blueblood replied without hesitation. “What is sure to be a long and bloody war. Damn them all… they’ve forced me to start drinking and it isn’t even noon yet.” He emptied his glass, lifted up the wine bottle on the table beside him, and poured himself another. “I have resorted to debauchery to keep my sanity in these trying times.”
“We need new press correspondents,” Raven said as she snatched away the wine bottle from Blueblood. Lifting it to her lips, she tilted it back and took a long pull from the bottle. When she pulled the bottle away, her lips were stained red. “We just got new press correspondents… these were supposed to be the good ones.”
“Raven, you took my Cabernet Fancy,” Blueblood whined. His brows furrowed and he shook his head. “You’ll pay for that.”
“Maybe tonight,” Raven replied in a distracted voice, trying to mollify Blueblood. “I’ll bring the riding crop and you can wear that tacky, tawdry crown that you like.”
“I’ll not let a filcher of fine wine in my bed.” Blueblood gave Raven a dismissive wave of his hoof. “Away with you, dirty peasant, I’ll not soil myself by parting your plebian flesh with my royal sceptre—”
“Will you two stop that?” Cadance demanded. “We have a crisis to deal with. Besides, nopony wants to hear about what you two do together behind closed doors. Yuck!” Cadance shuddered with revulsion and stuck out her tongue.
“Crisis?” Gosling asked in a soft voice. “Is it really that bad?”
“Right now,” Blueblood began as he waved his wineglass around, “the press is no doubt pounding the pavement, looking for any dirt they can find on you. They’re going to find your old filly friend… and then the circus will come to town. You mark my words. I bet we’ll see something by the evening edition, or the morning paper by the very latest.”
“Blueblood, your pessimism does you a disservice.” Shining Armor, scowling, yanked his helmet off and tossed it down upon the floor., where it clattered and bounced. He shook himself, messing up his mane, and his ears flapped.
“Oh really,” Blueblood replied. The snide sarcasm in his voice was so thick that it could be cut with a butter knife and spread over toast, like very bitter, very acidic marmalade. “Care to place a wager, Shining?”
Gritting his teeth, Shining Armor turned a steely glare upon Blueblood, his nostrils flaring, and after a moment, the worked up stallion shook his head. “No. No I don’t. Because you are an insufferably smug bastard when you are right.”
“Why are they doing this?” Gosling asked.
“Sensationalism… paper sales… advertisement money,” Blueblood replied. Rolling his eyes, Blueblood took a long drink from his wine glass, almost emptying it. He smacked his lips and his ears splayed out sideways from his head. “Advertisers offer the biggest, most lucrative contracts to the news outlets that sell the most papers. Actual news doesn’t sell very well, go figure. So everything is fluff pieces, gossip, and sensationalism. It’s the same reason why Mister Teapot keeps showing up in the papers and everypony reads about his adventures. He’s become a hero in the public eye. A very dangerous figure, if you believe what the media tells you.”
“Bah, I’ve met Mister Teapot. He’s harmless.” Raven tipped back the bottle and took another drink, which caused Blueblood to whimper. “The papers have made him into a mythic figure of legend. Every time his name is mentioned, sales double.”
“Must you be so vulgar?” Blueblood asked as he watched Raven lick the neck of the bottle, her tongue lapping up droplets of wine. “The papers would have you believe that he is the most dangerous unicorn alive.”
“I thought Starlight was the most dangerous unicorn alive?” Raven thumped herself on her barrel with her hoof and let fly with a horrendous belch. “I think I need some antacids.”
“My sophisticated wine does not agree with your peasant palate.” Blueblood jerked the wine bottle away from Raven, refilled his glass, and set the bottle back down upon the table. He peered down into his wine glass, looking disgusted, and then squinted at Raven. “My drink is ruined by your commoner backwash. Vile!” Lifting his glass, Blueblood took a drink and shuddered as he swallowed.
“I hate to say this, but Blueblood is right.” Cadance ceased her pacing and stood beside her husband, Shining Armor. “We need to pony up and occupy the battle stations. There’s nothing quite as bad as a lover spurned. Jealousy is a powerful toxin.” Cadance peered at Gosling and shook her head. “Brace yourself, Gosling, but I think Skyfire Flash is going to cause you some trouble.”
“You mean it wasn’t enough to accuse me of being gay and ruining my reputation because I rejected her advances?” Gosling let out a snort of disbelief. “It’s like I’m back in secondary school all over again. Ugh.” Gosling wobbled on his hooves, his eyes narrowed, and he let out a belch that caused him to quiver in disgust. “I think I’m gonna be sick!”
Fleeing the room, Gosling took off at a run, gagging as the contents of his stomach threatened to escape.
“Well well well… this went splendidly,” Blueblood said as Gosling went crashing and clanking through the door. “The game is ahoof. I now have an excuse to be an outright and utter bastard.”
“Like you ever needed an excuse,” Raven replied in a voice filled with cutting snark.
“Raven my dear, you wound me.” Blueblood gave the mare next to him a sidelong glance. “Must you be such an uppity bitch?”
“If I was a nice mare, you’d lose interest in me, you lazy ingrate.” Raven’s eyes narrowed. “By the way, whatever happened to ladies first?”
“Oh ho ho ho...touché.”
Raven snorted. “Yeah, whatever, douché.”
“Oh for crying out loud, will you two just go and get a room!” Cadance cried.