//------------------------------// // Chapter 2 // Story: The Perilous Romance of Swans // by kudzuhaiku //------------------------------// “Private Gosling, do sit still.” Princess Luna’s eyebrow arched in a most perfect way as she spoke and she turned her cool expression upon the colt sitting at her sister’s side. Levitating a fork, she pointed at it him, then sighed. “You must learn to relax, or at least appear to be relaxed.” Knowing the importance of appearances, Luna did her best to not look sleepy. “I can’t help it,” Gosling said in a low voice as he remembered to sit up straight. He shook his head. “My mother will be arriving soon. She is very dear to me. I haven’t seen her in a while. She probably thinks I’ve been maimed or something in some sort of conflict, just being told to come to Canterlot without a specific reason why.” Saying nothing, Princess Celestia lifted a teacup up to her lips, took a sip, and as she pulled the cup away, she smiled. She looked over at Gosling, who sat near her side, and then looked over at her sister Luna, to whom she gave an almost imperceptible nod. Acknowledging her sister’s unspoken communication, Luna returned the imperceptible nod and blinked in reply. Unable to resist any longer, the Princess of the Night yawned—midmorning was just too late for her. She covered her mouth with her hoof and blinked away her sleepiness. Leaning over the table a bit, Luna’s ears angled forwards in a somewhat aggressive manner. “You know what I could go for right about now?” Luna’s intense stare focused upon Gosling, who blinked when he realised that he was being addressed. “A pie would be a most delicious treat.” “Sister, you are mistaken,” Celestia replied in a stern voice. “Cake is the most delicious treat that comes out of the kitchens.” “Oh, thou art wrong, as usual.” Luna sat up and leveled her cold stare upon her sister. “Cake is moist, delicious, and covered in creamy frosting… except when it isn’t, but even frostingless cakes are delicious.” Celestia set down her teacup on the table and her ears pitched forwards in an aggressive manner. “A pie is far more perfect,” Luna insisted in a voice that grew in volume. “A pie can be eaten as a meal, like a savoury vegetable pie. A cake on the other hoof, one cannot eat them for dinner without accusations of gluttony, dearest sister, as I am positive that you are aware.” Gosling sat in silence, his head turning from one sister to the other as they took turns speaking. He took a sip of tea, his brows furrowing as he did so, and he did his best to look cultured and refined—which is to say that he sat in his chair and held very, very still. “And just what are you implying?” Celestia asked in a steely voice. “Private Gosling,” Luna said as she ignored her sister’s stern inquiry, “do tell, Private Gosling, which is better? Cake or pie? What is your personal preference?” Luna rapped her silver shod hoof upon the edge of the table and focused her demanding stare upon the colt sitting beside her sister. “Um—” “Um is neither a cake nor a pie.” Luna’s voice was somehow both sleepy sounding and brusque. She leaned over the table once more and focused her intense, impatient stare upon Gosling, who shrank away from her. “Come now, as Prince Consort, you will be expected to have opinions about weighty issues. You do my sister a disservice with your lacklustre response, Private Gosling. How disappointing.” The colt’s ears pinned back against his skull as he took in Luna’s words. He turned, giving Celestia a sidelong glance, and then he focused his grey eyes upon Luna. Reaching up a wing, he wiped his mane away from his face and felt several beads of sweat rolling down his neck. “Oh come now!” Luna’s ears pivoted forwards and she glared daggers at Gosling. “A thousand years ago, at your age, you might have been given command of an army! You might have been trusted with the security and the safety of the empire! Colts these days are entirely too lax and wishy washy! You are too much of a foal!” Luna’s muzzle wrinkled and she looked at her sister. “Perhaps somepony a bit more mature would be better, dear sister.” “Neither,” Gosling said to Luna in a flat, calm voice as he stared Luna in the eye. “Neither?” Luna jerked her head back. “You were asked a question about the superiourity of pie or cake. What doest thou mean, neither? One cannot simply abstain from the issue. Do explain yourself, colt.” “Pie is nice, cake is a fine treat, but I champion the cause of the cookie.” Gosling’s eyes narrowed and he worked up his courage to give Luna a hard, focused stare. “Cookies are the perfect treat. You don’t need a plate or a fork to eat them, you can eat more than one without accusations of gluttony, and cookies can be dunked in a glass of milk. Try doing that with a pie or a cake.” “Haha… HAHA!” Luna thumped the table with her hoof and looked at her sister. “I told you, dearest sister, I TOLD YOU!” “Uh, what is going on?” Gosling asked, looking more than just a little confused by everything around him and Luna’s boisterous, exuberant reaction. He heard a soft, melodious giggle from Celestia and his ears stood up. His wings felt hot and itchy against his ribs. “A little test,” Celestia replied as she raised her teacup. “And it seems that my sister was right about you. She insisted that you would find a way of wiggling out of taking sides. This bodes well for your future, Gosling.” “A test—” “Private Gosling, everything will become a test.” Luna’s mirth vanished with a single blink and her expression became one of hard, unyielding flintiness. “You will be judged upon your every word, your every action, every single thing you do will be picked apart and discussed at length.” “Everything?” “Everything.” Luna nodded. “Have so much as one feather out of place and there are those that will rip you apart. You will go under intense scrutiny. Nothing will go unnoticed. Welcome to our world, Private Gosling. We are the sisters that can do no right.” Leaning over, Celestia prodded Gosling with her hoof. “When I first learned of your age, I worried that you would not be mature enough to deal with the coming onslaught. During the past week though, you have shown a remarkable maturity that many who are your age are lacking. Too many foals are coddled for far too long and foalhood artificially extends into what should be years counted as an adult.” Gosling blinked, then turned his head to look at Celestia. “I suppose it is my upbringing. My mother and I were poor. I didn’t have time to waste as a foal. Too much was expected of me. I wasn’t coddled. I got my first job when I was the age of ten, I delivered groceries and dry goods for a specialty shop. Then there was homework to be done.” Gosling paused for a moment, shook his head, and then stared down at his own teacup. “I suppose I am not like most colts my age. My mother worked so very hard to give me a set of values…” “I first balked at your age because I did not wish to take away whatever last bit of foalhood you had left in you. The guard does a pretty good job of drumming that out though for those who join early.” Celestia reached over and stroked Gosling’s foreleg with her hoof. “But”—Celestia reached up with her hoof and tapped Gosling upon the chin—“I do not regret my decision to be with you.” Gosling’s stormcloud grey cheeks darkened as he turned to look at Celestia. He gazed at her, amazed at her beauty, her grace, her wise, expressive face. Raising his own foreleg, he extended it and grasped Celestia’s with his folded fetlock. He gave her a squeeze, started to say something, but then fell silent as he continued to stare into her eyes. He sucked in a deep breath when Celestia’s muzzle moved closer to his, but he did not turn away or pull his head back. “I am going to bed,” Princess Luna announced to the moony eyed couple, “good day to both of you.” There was a cool, feather ruffling breeze blowing through the gardens. Gardeners worked to maintain the hedges, the ponds were being mucked out, and the sounds of distant voices could be heard as Celestia stood gazing at a perfect display of rhododendrons. Nearby, Cadance stood, her head low, sniffing the blooms of the rhododendron bushes. Celestia gushed with affection for her niece, after all, Cadance was the one responsible for bringing so much happiness into her life. She wanted to tackle Cadance, to hug her, to roll with her in the grass, to laugh and be happy. Celestia was tempted, so very tempted. “Ah, just the pony I was hoping to see.” Hearing the sound of Raven’s voice, Celestia turned to look at her most trusted assistant. She watched as Raven approached Gosling and Celestia could see that her tiny, treasured assistant meant business. She wondered what was up. “Private Gosling,” Raven said in a flat, commanding voice, “I have appropriated you from your current posting. From now on, you will be working with Princess Celestia and I—” “Wait up,” Gosling said, butting in with a gentle voice and shaking his head, “now, I said that I would not allow any special treatment just because I was courting the princess… I don’t want preferential treatment as a guardspony. I feel guilty just getting a week off.” “Private Gosling… I will allow this lapse in command just once,” Raven said, her voice growing commanding and cold, “and only this once.” Raven took a step forwards, then another, and then another, until she stood snoot to snoot with Gosling. “Now you listen to me, Private Milksop… you are a member of the signal corps. You are a communications specialist, which means you are a messenger. When I say that you will be working with Princess Celestia and I, what I actually mean to say is that you will be working for me.” Raven paused for a moment to allow her words to sink in. “And make no mistake, it is my intention to work you. I need a messenger. I need a swift, capable flier to deal with sensitive communications. You are not being given preferential treatment at all, you are being given one of the worst jobs that anypony in the guard can get. Welcome to being my assistant, Private Gosling, you now work for the Day Terror.” Snapping to attention, Gosling whipped out a wing in salute. “As soon as you return to active duty, you will be reporting to me every morning bright and early. If there is sunlight streaming through the windows, then there is work to be done. Am I clear?” Raven reached out and poked Gosling on the chest with her hoof. “Ma’am, yes Ma’am!” “Ooh, delightful,” Cadance said as she turned around. “Private Gosling, this means I’ll be seeing you in the Crystal Empire. Raven and Shining Armor play chess through the mail. Auntie and I also send each other a lot of messages to keep each other’s spirits up.” Gosling gulped and continued to stand at attention, staring straight ahead. “Raven, darling, do be gentle,” Celestia said to her assistant. Raven turned and looked up at Princess Celestia. “No.” “No?” Celestia drew herself up to her full height. “No?” “Being gentle doesn’t get anything done.” Raven shook her head. “It is not efficient. It does not make the empire run.” “Raven, dear, I really must insist. I would like to have something left of Private Gosling at the end of the day. If you exhaust him, what am I to do?” Celestia strained to keep the corners of her mouth from betraying her, but try as she might, the corners of her lips twitched. “Hmph.” Raven took a step back from Gosling, tossed her head back, turned around to face Celestia, and then let out an irritated whinny. Gosling, who understood that his fate was held by a thread, said nothing, did nothing, he remained statuesque and stared straight ahead in a perfect state of attention. He did not see the corners of Celestia’s mouth twitching, nor did he see Cadance grinning. “Private Gosling’s mother is scheduled to arrive at just a little past three. I have had arrangements made to have her transported to the castle in private. I have taken the liberty of having a small, private room prepared for the occasion, and a well appointed private suite is ready for her stay.” “Very good, thank you, Raven,” Celestia replied. She clucked her tongue a few times, shuffled on her hooves, and then her ears splayed out sideways. “I must confess, I am nervous.” “By all reports, Sleet is a likeable pegasus, hopefully she’ll be reasonable and find you worthy of her son,” Raven said, ignoring Gosling, who cleared his throat. She did glance over at Cadance however, when she heard Cadance giggling. “She is a very proud pegasus though, keep that in mind.” “Thank you, Raven. You are dismissed.” Celestia’s ears drooped down even more and she shook her head. The tall mare sighed, shook her head, and glanced at Gosling, who still stood at attention. Bowing her head in reply, Raven then departed in a hurry. “Auntie, relax… a mother wants what is best for her foal… and all things considered, you can’t get much better than a princess.” Cadance cleared her throat and fought back more giggles. “And Gosling found himself quite a princess… the big one. The ugly duckling found his swan princess.” Hearing her niece’s words, Celestia found herself smiling. “Cadance… what was it like when you met with Twilight Velvet, not as Twilight’s foalsitter, but as Shining Armor’s intended?” Celestia asked as she moved closer to Gosling. “I would be interested in knowing.” “Oh… that.” Cadance smacked her lips together and her wings made nervous twitches against her sides. Cadance shuffled on her hooves and her eyes went wide. “Oh… that’s quite a story. I’ve never been more terrified in my whole life. Twilight Velvet wanted the very best for her foals… even when I faced Prismia, I wasn’t as scared as I was on the day that Shiny and I told her about our engagement to be engaged...”