//------------------------------// // Now you've done it, Rarity // Story: My Fair Little Spike (A very awful fic) // by DakariKingMykan //------------------------------// ACT THREE Spike was running seriously low on options and hope of ever confronting Rarity. So far all the advice he had gotten either wouldn't work or he just couldn't do. He stopped at the Cake's Cafe and Bakery for a milkshake to help ease his frustration. "Tough day, Spike?" asked Carrot Cake. "What else is new?" Spike replied lowly. Cup Cake came with his milkshake and patted his head saying "Well, I hope you feel better soon dear. No one should have to be miserable with Hearts and Hooves day coming." Spike only sighed and then asked the Cakes about his problem, seeing as they were married and would probably have good advice. "Well, Spike..." said Carrot Cake "...you can't go wrong without showing how skilled you are around the house; cooking, cleaning, helping with the kids." His wife agreed "Well said, honey bun." she then turned to Spike and said "And sharing common interests with each other only helps make the love rise like adding the yeast to the dough." Her husband smiled at her lovingly, and she smiled back and they walked off into the kitchen together, but Spike felt even gloomier than ever. He knew he was no cook, so that was out. The only thing he could really think about he had in common with Rarity was their love of gems, but even there it was totally different as she liked to make things with gems and wear them, while he preferred snacking. As he sipped his shake all around the Cafe he could see other ponies that seemed droopy in the chops, mostly mares and fillies, all feeling down because almost every male in Ponyville was trying to woo Rarity, leaving them all dateless for Hearts and Hooves. Pinkie Pie hated seeing such long faces and thought she'd cheer everyone up reminding them all about her Hearts and Hooves party, sadly this only made everyone feel worse. Some of the mares and fillies even ran out crying and Pinkie blinked once "Was it something I said? Was it something I sang?" She then noticed Spike was sitting alone and bounced over to it. "So... why so glum, dragon chum." she said hoping to put a smile on Spike's face, but Spike, thought he felt he would regret asking Pinkie was desperate enough, asked her "What would you do to show your affections for someone?” Pinkie blinked once, and then her lips slowly curled into a giggly smile “You want to know what I’d do? I’ll tell you…” She tapped her hoof several times as the beat to music began to play, and she broke into a funny song. I… throw a… big party here, or a big parade there …I act friendly “Oh, yeah.” When I meet someone new, I act real nice and fair I act friendly “I love it!” Being friendly, and ever so fun I know that things can’t go wrong Being friendly… friendly… I know we can all get along. Spike was already feeling wound up and freaked by Pinkie’s antics, and tried to get her attention, but Pinkie suddenly grabbed a hat and cane out of nowhere and began tap-dancing as the song continued. When my feelings come out, as a scream or a shout …I act friendly “Hee, hee… it’s fun.” When you’re feeling lonely, just call on me …I’ll be friendly “When you need it most” I jump and I’ll say, hip-hip horary Because… that’s how I want it done I act friendly-friendly-friendly-friendly-friendly… …and then we have fun…! Whether you’re happy or blue, I’ll let my feelings shine through And three… two… one…! I act friendly, so then it’s all-- Friendly… and then it’s all— Friendly, so we can have fun…! If you’re smiling or not, I’ll show you what I’ve got I’ll hop, skip, jump and then run… Being friendly, so then it’s all-- Friendly, and then it’s all— Friendly… so we can have FUN--------!!!” “FRIENDLY!!” She landed on the floor with in a split, while gazing at Spike hoping he had gotten what she said, but actually he knew he had to get out of there before she made him feel any more freaked out. “Uh, I have to go, Pinkie. Thanks anyway.” And he dashed for the door. “Okay!” Pinkie called to him “…And just remember…” and just began to dancing and leaping about again as the last verse of her song repeated. If you’re smiling or not, I’ll show you what I’ve got I’ll hop, skip, jump and then run… Being friendly, so then it’s all-- Friendly, and then it’s all— Friendly… so we can have FUN--------!!!” “FRIENDLY!!” But Spike was already running as fast as his little feet could carry him. Most of what Pinkie sang hardly made that much sense to him, but he certainly knew he could never please Rarity by acting overly excitable and giddy like that, even if it was being friendly. He sighed heavily. “I’ve asked the advice from so many ponies, and not one of them turned out right for me. I’ll never compete with all those other guys have given Rarity.” He passed by Carousel Boutique and saw the massive mountain of gifts thinking Rarity was so lucky and having the time of her life. He sighed again and continued on his way home… completely unaware that Rarity was already driving herself off the edge…! She had received so many different gifts not only could she not decided which ones she liked the best she couldn’t even remember who gave them to her in the first place. Worse than that, she had hardly any space to put all the gifts she had already gone through and ended up losing track of her thoughts forcing her to start all over again. “Oh my… uh, I think that this was… or was it… this is lovely, oh but then there’s… Oh!” She stammered and stumbled about in near panic trying to get organized, but the more she tried the more frustrated and stressed out she became. Her mane and tail were getting tangled up in her fumbling, and she kept right on going, and going, deep into the night before finally… she snapped, and screamed, and fell back on the floor crying and sobbing “I-hi-hi… Ca-ha-han’t … do-ho-hoo… this anymo-ho-hore!” She turned her head and could see herself in the mirror, all covered in flower petals, and her mane tangled. She was a total wreck, and she continued to cry. “Twilight was right! What have a done? I shall never get this all sorted out by tomorrow; let alone Hearts and Hooves Day!” What was really eating at her was all the find young stallions and colts who took the time to bring her all these wonderful gifts, and each were so individually beautiful in their own ways, even some of the gifts she didn’t like much had some value, at least they were hoof-made and it was the thought that counted. She just couldn’t do this anymore, and felt she had an idea to straighten this whole thing out. The next morning, all the colts and stallions had gathered outside of her place eager to hear who she had chosen to be her special somepony. Unfortunately this caused arguments to erupt amongst them; for many and others kept on acting cocky saying that they would be her pick and that everyone else didn’t stand a chance. “My gift was the best of all.” “Your gift…? Think again!” “Mine was more expensive and she loves expensive things.” “It’s the thought that counts most.” The quarrelling continued, until Rarity used her phonograph to play a recorded sound of fanfare trumpets playing announcing her appearance. “Thank you all for coming and I must thank you all again for your wonderful tokens of affection you have given me, but I’m afraid I have bad news.” The crowd felt confused and uneasy, and Rarity cleared her throat and announced that she just wouldn’t be choosing any of them, which made the boys all gasp in shock and grumble in outrage. It was in vain that Rarity tried to reason with them “All your gifts were wonderful, and I am truly grateful for them, but… ultimately I cannot choose just one. For that, I am ever so dreadfully sorry.” But all boys were more infuriated than ever. “I blew my whole monthly salary on my gift.” “I spent a whole night making that card!” “BOO!!” “You have robbed us of our time and efforts!” The booing and taunting soon erupted into an angry mob that began throwing mud balls and rocks at Rarity’s home “Really now, stop this!” Rarity called out “I told you I was sorry…!” “Let’s get her!” and they busted down the front door and began marching in. Rarity gulped hard and tried to escape, but the mob was already on its way up. Some of them were already flying up to her window, completely surrounding her and growling like angry bears. Poor Rarity was really in a spot now!