Discord was humming a cheery tune to himself as he sat on his throne, drinking a glass of chocolate milk when the five nitwits he had summoned appeared in the sky with a flurry of confetti. They landed in a crumpled heap atop a pile of various pillows that were conveniently placed below them. Discord quickly downed the remaining bit of his drink in one gulp before tossing the glass away where it silently exploded and kicked his feet off the arm of his throne.
From the bottom of the pile, Johnny let out a pained groan. “Ow…. Did someone catch the plates on that—Okay, who the hell is on top of me?"
"First off; I think that's me Johnny," Miles groaned. "Secondly; spot check: are we all in a dude mountain? Because I always wanted to chant 'dude mountain.' Since I saw that video last week, anyway."
"DUDE MOUNTAIN, DUDE MOUNTAIN, DUDE MOUNTAIN!"
"Shut up Brad."
"DUDE MOUNTAIN, DUDE MOUNTAIN, DUDE MOUNTAIN!"
Johnny just let out a loud exaggerated sigh as Miles joined Brad in his chanting.
Dave and Jake, who were on top of the pile, let out groans of their own as they looked about the area they had landed in. It looked like a simple wooded clearing about twenty feet wide in all directions. However, this is where the familiarity ended; the sky above them was black as night with purple clouds zooming by on invisible wind.
"Okay, I think we're not in Kansas any-," Dave's eyes widened as they landed on the draconequus on his throne before them. He remained silent for a few seconds, slack jawed and eyes wide, before he finally spoke. "HOLY SHIT! DISCORD!"
Discord smiled, chuckling to himself, "I see my fame precedes me," with that he snapped his fingers and the five humans appeared on their feet in front of him with a flash of light. Brad and Johnny's reactions were about the same as Dave's; though a bit less vulgar with just their jaws hitting the floor. Miles let out a rather unmanly squeal of delight; and Jake let out a surprised squeak and hid behind Miles.
“Okay, What the fuck is going on?! Did someone drug us! Is this a hallucination!” Johnny looked about in confusion at his friends.
“If we were, then how could we all be having the same bad trip,” Brad muttered, not taking his eyes off the draconequus.
“Oh, I am no mere hallucination Johnny,” Discord said, chuckling as he got to his mismatched feet. “And before you gawk at the fact I know your name; I know all of your names.”
With that, a file cabinet materialized in front of him and he pulled a pair of old fashioned secretary glasses on. Pulling out a file, he opened it and began to read. “Name: Johnny Ray Finley Jr. Blah blah blah….”
He pulled another, the first floating beside him. “Name: David Moul. Still sleeps with a stuffed animal and a night light.”
“No I don't sleep with Sugarpeze anymore!!” David shouted quickly, blushing furiously as Jake let out a quiet laugh.
“Name: Miles Kennedy,” Discord paused for a moment as he was interrupted by Miles squealing in delight again. Discord sighed rolling his eyes, “Name: Miles Kennedy. Has seventeen contingency plans for murdering his friends.”
“What?” Miles looked at the four other people with him who were looking at him with odd expressions. “Only three are for you guys. Five are for my real life friend Rick.”
“Okay! Okay! We get it! You know who we are!” Brad stepped forward, pointing a finger at Discord as the file cabinet and files disappeared into thin air. “But why are we here?”
“Ahh yes, that's the big question isn't it? Why are we here? Why are any of us here?” Discord tapped his chin with a talon, looking dramatically off into the distance.
“Okay, cut the wannabe philosophical bullcarp!” Johnny glared up at him, “Tell us why we are here you Q wannabe!”
“I brought you here for a simple business proposition," Discord snapped his talons and was suddenly dressed in a suit and tie. He floated over to them on mismatched wings. "And I know it’s a deal that the five of you will find will all find... irresistible."
“Bullshit. How in the hell are we supposed to trust you?” Brad crossed his arms as he too glared up at Discord.
“Yeah,” Johnny added, “trusting a mad god is about as safe as saying it was only a small bullet!”
"Oh you got me! I lied," Discord mock gasped, "This isn't a business deal," and with that he got rid of his attire. "The truth is that you six are here to participate in a game of mine."
“What kind of game?" Miles asked, excitement clear in his voice “Board game, video game, pen-and-paper role-play, action RPG, or something darker?”
“First off,” Johnny quickly snapped at Miles, giving him a downright, “I'm still disturbed by the fact you have plans to kill us. Secondly; I don’t wanna know where your brain is going with that last option. Third; I don’t quite think we’re reacting with the appropriate response given our situation.”
"Would you rather we were screaming?”
“YES!!!” Johnny bellowed, his voice reaching a new pitch as he practically got in Miles’ face. “Either we've all lost our minds or been abducted by a goddamn chaos god and the laws of reality suddenly mean jack diddly squat!!! I think panicking is an acceptable course of action right-flipping-now!”
With a roar of frustration, Johnny took several steps back, charging miles and tackling him to the ground where he started to punch him in the face. “Umm…,” Dave said as he looked at what happened. “Should we pull him off Miles?”
Brad shook his head, “Trust me, You couldn't unless you wanna get hit in the face too.”
The three of them and Discord watched in amusement as Johnny continued to beat Miles' face to no avail as he suffered no damage. After several minutes, he got off Miles, panting heavily, "W-why is your face not broken??"
"Can't have you hurting each other just yet," Discord said, answering him.
"You calmed down now man," Brad asked.
"N-no, still p-pissed…,” Johnny panted, still glaring at Miles, “you sir are a goddamn idiot!”
"Now that's come and passed," Dave sighed, rubbing his eyes, "What exactly is the game that we'll be playing Discord?"
Discord stopped laughing and looked at them, "It's a game that you all know." With that, he poofed and reappeared with a bookshelf. After perusing the shelf for several seconds, he grabbed a book and tossed it at the group of humans. Jake let out a surprised yelp as the heavy book landed on his feet and he picked it up. He looked at the front cover before flipping it open to a random page; he blinked in surprise, "classes... creatures... skills... this is D&D guys!"
"So he wants us to do what we were going to do anyways? Eh sure, fine I'll play this game," Brad shrugged.
"Wait, you're volunteering!?!" Was the group's collective response; except for Johnny who was now threatening to deck him in the face causing him to take a few steps back.
"Umm yeah, I mean we are talking to flippin' Discord here guys," he gestured towards the draconequus who just watched, grinning like his usual mad self. "A character from a show that shouldn't be standin- well, hovering there!"
“But it’s Discord! He is Q rolled together with Loki and just a dusting of Sheogorath!!”
"This is a once in a lifetime experience guys! It's not like a mad god from another world is going to pop in next Tuesday!"
"That's the point," Johnny pounded his fist into his hand, "he's a mad god! Nothing is going to keep that Frankenstein's mon-" His rant was cut off as his mouth was quite literally zipped closed. His eyes widened for a moment before he glared at Discord.
“Now that he has been silenced for the moment, I have an idea that will solve this little dilemma," Discord snapped his fingers and a red white and blue top hat appeared on his head, "why don't you all vote? All in favor raise their right hand while those against it raise their left.”
Almost immediately, Miles’ right hand and Johnny's left hand both shot up. Brad's right hand followed soon. Soon after, both Dave and Jake's left hands rose.
“Congratulations,” Discord cheered, “you shall partake in my game!” Streamers and sparkles soared into the air behind him as a dramatic fanfare played.
“WHAT!!! We Won!” Dave yelled as Johnny continued to glare at Discord with the enough fury to melt metal as he continued to try to pull the zipper on his mouth open.
“Au contraire, Mr. Sentinel,” Discord grinned from ear to ear, “I gave Miles here two votes because of all his creative intent for the sake of chaos and disharmony.”
Anyway... "Yeah! Discord like me!" Miles grinned, which faded as he saw everyone glaring at him "Ah, I mean, oh no! Discord likes me?"
"Democracy in action right here," Dave groaned, rubbing his eyes.
“Besides, I still would have sent you anyways even if you had won. I’m the personification of chaos incarnate, I don't have to follow your rules. Now let's get you into your proper attire.” With a snap of his fingers, the five humans attire was replaced by rather archaic apparel.
Dave's shirt was replaced with a chain shirt. His feet covered in steel boots while his hands were covered in steel gauntlets. A halberd appeared in one of hands as well.
Jake's clothing was replaced with a heavy looking black armor that seemed three sizes too big on him. A large hammer appeared on his back as well, causing him to fall over from weight. Landing on the ground with a clatter.
Miles now wore a brown tunic over a chain shirt with bandolier crossing his chest. On his waist was a belt with many pockets and a knife in its scabbard. A simple brown cloak hung over his shoulders.
Johnny was covered in a leather armor, a set of small pauldrons covered both his shoulders. A bandolier crossed his chest and he had a belt that was similar to Miles. He had a cloth hood that was currently hiding his face in shadows.
Brad, however, his attire was the simplest but also the most bizarre. He wore a set of black hooded robes and some strange amulet. As if to accentuate the black of his robes, he was painted with a black ink that pulsed occasionally, spreading in swirling patterns and jagged runes across the his visible skin.
“Okay, I look like a monk,” Brad stated, flapping his arms as he looked at the others before pausing for a moment and grinning. “Feel the emperor's holy wrath you heretic,” he proclaimed, striking a dramatic pose in the process.
As the rest looked at their attire with various degrees of fascination, the still zipper-mouthed Johnny looked as pale as a ghost. Muffled noises escaped his lips as a panicked look filled his face. All the others could do was watch as Johnny sat down on the floor and grabbed his legs before he started to gently rock back and forth.
"Okay...," Miles looked at everyone else, "what the hell was that about?" Jake who was still somewhat hiding behind him, yanked on his sleeve and whispered something in his ear.
"Wait! You two are gunna-"
Jake simply nodded.
"Well, you seem to be taking it far better than him," he said, looking over at the still broken Johnny.
Jake just shrugged.
After that, Dave looked back up at Discord, "I want some answers before we play your damn game."
He nodded, "but of course; ask away."
"First, why the hell are you doing this? Second, why us? And third, where are we going?"
"Well, I'm doing this because I'm bored. Being reformed doesn't allow much in the way of chaos and eventually doing the same stuff over and over just gets boring. Second, you bronies are always the most fun; always causing such a ruckus when I drop you chaps in Equestria. And well, I'm sending you elsewhere. And, well, telling you would be spoilers.”
"What the hell does that mean?" Brad said, cocking his head and crossing his arms.
“A GM never reveals his secrets,” Miles stated simply earning a nod of approval from Discord which made him grin from ear to ear.
"Well, you'll all see in due time," Discord chuckled and snapped his fingers, causing the humans before him to disappear with a flash of light.
"Let the games begin," he laughed to himself before teleporting away to watch his entertainment unfold.