This Magic Moment

by ScatMan2001

Chapter 12: A Long Talk

        This is the most beautiful garden you’ve ever seen. Why is it so big?

        It’s more than just a garden; it’s like a miniature forest, if you had to describe it simply. There are trees, bushes, and even little animals, which you think is incredibly weird. The only creatures you’ve seen so far in this land are ponies. Perhaps it’s simply logical that there are other animals in the world.

        Weird thing is that these animals in the garden are just animals. They’re normal animals. They look more like animals and behave more like animals. They don’t talk, they don’t have houses, they don’t cook… they’re nothing like the talking ponies.

        It’s interesting to think about. Humans evolved from monkeys, so maybe these ponies just evolved from regular ponies? It’s a thought. You’re not a scientist. You don’t know.

        It seems like no other animal in the world aside from ponies can talk. You guess you won’t be too surprised if you come across another animal that can or can’t talk. You’ve seen it all up until now.

        Anyway, the garden is gorgeous. You’ve never been anywhere this beautiful. How is it that this place even exists? You know you’re in an alternate universe, but still.

        Are those palm trees? That doesn’t even make any sense!

        You’re not in a tropical environment, but that doesn’t seem to matter here. Nothing seems to matter here. If there’s some kind of beautiful plant out there in the world, it is surely in this garden. The garden being in the backyard of a castle… on top of a mountain… in the middle of freaking nowhere.

        “This is my favorite part right here,” Celestia announces as you both walk (and wheel) down a path into a long section of beautiful, green trees, all of which are spouting some kind of food. “We have banana trees, orange trees, apple trees, there are grape vines towards the end there. This is my favorite part.”

        “It’s beautiful,” you say.

        “Thank you.” Celestia takes a couple apples from one of the trees, giving one to you. “You have to try these, they’re delicious. The groundskeeper does an excellent job with the place. About a century ago this whole thing was a training ground for the Royal Guard. It was an eyesore. I wanted to make it a garden, so I did, but I never imagined it’d look this great.”

        “How did you get all these plants up here?”

        “Most of them had to shipped in, of course. Not a whole lot of produce grows naturally at this altitude and in this cold… but with the help of some magic, proper gardening, and a few decades to get everything just right, it has become a paradise.”

“It’s amazing. Do other ponies ever come through to see it?”

“Oh, definitely. The garden is open to everyone during the day on weekdays and most Saturdays. But once the sun sets, it’s closed, which allows me to walk through it myself with no distractions. It’s prettier at night, anyway.”

        “Very pretty,” you agree, taking a bite out of your apple. It’s juicy and crisp, just an apple should be. “And the food is good too.”

        “That’s the best part!” she exclaims cheerfully. “I come out here and eat all the time, and they’re fruits, so I allow myself to eat as much as I like. Not like it’s cake or anything. I try not to eat all of it, though, so I can save some food for the critters.”

        “Critters?”

        “Squirrels, chipmunks, birds… the usual garden stuff. Sometimes the groundskeeper will surprise me by bringing in something exotic. A few years ago, I was walking through one night and I saw a toucan sitting on a tree.” She laughs. “It was the strangest thing. I only saw it a few times before it flew south. It’s much too cold up here.”

        You nod along.

        “But anyway, enough with the garden talk, how are you feeling?”

        “I’m doing all right, Princess,” you respond nervously.

        Truth be told, you’re not ‘all right.’ You’re all wrong, if anything. This whole situation is just weird.

        A horse is showing you around some mini tropical jungle like it’s a pretty normal thing, but it just isn’t. It’s confusing and weird and you’re not okay with it.

        The Princess horse is very nice and very sweet and her garden is lovely but that doesn’t take away from the fact that you have no idea what’s going on.

        These days you just feel like you’re making it up as you go along. You can’t prepare for any of this. You haven’t been able to predict a single thing that happens.

        However, with all that being thought, you don’t believe you should be completely honest with this horse. There’s no way you can tell her anything that you’ve been thinking. She intimidates you. The last thing you want to do is offend her by implying you aren’t loving your stay in her kingdom.

        It just doesn’t seem like a wise thing to do. So you lie. Best to lie and not offend someone than to tell the truth and be sentenced to 15 years hard labor. You don’t know enough about this culture to tell how tolerant it is.

        For all you know, being honest is very important in their society. For all you know, if you offend the Princess of the country you could be beaten like a pinata in the town square. You don’t know.

        “Really?” she asks, not sounding like she believes you in the slightest. “I can’t imagine that to be true. Where you come from, creatures like myself cannot talk, yes?”

        “That is correct,” you agree, but it goes far beyond that. Where you come from, creatures like her aren’t multicolored, can’t fly or use magic, don’t have plumbing or live in houses, and quite frankly, horses back where you come from look like absolute shit compared to the ones here.

        “I imagine that to be an odd transition for you then. If I were to… appear... in your world, I imagine the transition period to be very tough.”

        “I-I guess it is.” She’s still intimidating you. The fact that she’s a lot bigger than you isn’t helping that, but even if you were standing straight up she’d still be bigger than you. However, you’re sitting in a chair while she’s standing, making her seem even more physically imposing.

        Her legs are long and insanely muscular, like a racehorse. If she pushed you hard enough with one of those legs, you’d die, no question about it.

        God damn. You can’t stop looking at them. Her muscles have muscles.

        Still though, she’s probably the sweetest pony you’ve met up to this point. She didn’t charge into your hospital room and bombard you with questions. She invited you to her home, where you can stay, and has been nothing but friendly since. There’s no reason to feel intimidated, and you know that, but you can’t help it.

        She’s just huge.

        “I don’t mean to trouble you,” she says, turning to you. “And please be honest. Do you feel threatened by me?”

        She’s even scarier when she’s facing you. Her chest is large and right in your face, her big purple eyes are looking down upon you, her wings ruffle and extend from her body a little bit.

        And she smells lovely. It’s horrifying.

She has to be reading your mind. How does she know what you’re thinking?

Now you don’t know what to say. It’s not like you’re going to tell this woman that she scares you. Everything in this castle is pretty scary.

Can you move back to Ponyville? Things were only moderately frightening there; not nearly as frightening as here.  

        “Do you like donuts?” Celestia asks.

        “Y-Yes, ma’am,” you respond, feeling like that was a random question. You’re more than relieved she changed the subject.

You haven’t even thought about donuts in a very long time. Sweets haven’t exactly been at the front of your mind.

        “I love donuts,” she sighs with a pleasant smile, as though she’s recalling a wondrous past memory. “I remember when they were first invented. It was just a dough circle back in the day. No sprinkles or glaze or anything. It’s amazing how far society has come…”

        What the shit is this woman talking about?

        “Come. Let’s get some donuts. I haven’t had a donut in… a week? Something like that. It’s been much too long. Come with me,” she says your name. “Let’s get some donuts.”

        Well… okay.

==========

        “Donut Joe’s the best,” Celestia says, sitting at a table. She levitates a pink box of a dozen onto the table, sitting on a seat cushion.

        It’s a pretty nice place. There aren’t very many people - er, ponies here, but it is really late to get a donut.

It’s called ‘Donut Joe’s,’ and oddly enough, it is run by some guy named… That’s right, Donut Joe. Who would’ve guessed?

        The few ponies that are in here are staring at you and Celestia. They’re not even being subtle about it. It’s odd. This is the first time you’ve been out in public since you came to this world.

        The walk over the this nice little shop was interesting. It’s only just down the street from the castle; no more than a few hundred yards.

        You and Celestia walked right out of castle (she had to carry you magically down the stairs) and turned down the street. No guards accompanied her or anything.

        You thought that was kinda interesting.

        It was interesting to walk down the street in this city. There were a few ponies out and about, and that was the first time you saw ponies in a large group. This is the first time you’ve been in a city.

        It’s like a normal human city, but miniature. With you sitting in the wheelchair, most ponies appear to be at your height.

        You still don’t know if electricity exists. The city is lit up like it does exist… who knows. You’ll have to find out later.

        Princess Celestia takes a seat on a cushion on the floor that appears a little too small for her. She’s much larger than everypony else.

        “I didn’t know which kind you prefer,” she says, opening the box. “So I just got a bunch. I like ‘em all. Jelly filled is by far my favorite.”

        “Why’s that?” you ask for the sake of conversation.

        “Well, the first time I ever had a donut, it was just a dough circle. It was really good, but it was plain. One day somepony picked me up a box of donuts. Without looking, I just grabbed one and took a bite. It was full of jelly. It was such a beautiful surprise.”

        She sighs at the memory. This woman must really love her donuts. She talks about donuts like they were ponies she was once in love with.

        “Anyway, more comfortable?” she asks, taking a large bite out of glazed donut and levitating one over to you. With only one bite more than half the donut is gone.

        “Yes, ma’am,” you say.

        “Good,” she smiles. “You look more comfortable now. It’s always better to have some sweets with conversation. And I do love my desserts.” With one more bite, the rest of her donut is gone and she picks up another one. “I don’t want you to feel nervous around me. We will see each other every day for the next few weeks.”

        “Every day?”

        “Every day. I’ll have some small matters to attend to during the day, but I’ll find a suitable time to meet with you so we can learn about your culture and I can tell you about Equestria. We’ll eat meals together as well. It’ll take some getting used to, as things do, but you seem to be adjusting pretty quickly. You didn’t seem too shocked by anything when we walked over here.”

        “This city actually looks a lot like cities back where I come from. Not much of a difference, honestly. It’s just a bit smaller. And there’s no cars.”

        “What’s a car?”

        Oh yeah. You guess they wouldn’t know what cars are.

        “Nevermind, I’ll ask you about it tomorrow when I can write it down. I forgot to say earlier, but feel free to roam the castle and garden as you please. Navigating the garden is less difficult than the hallways of the castle. If you feel lost just head towards the castle, it’s easy to see, you’ll eventually find a way out. I live there and I still don’t know exactly where everything is.”

        “Do you walk through the garden often?”

        “Not nearly as much as I’d like to,” she admits. “I used to take Twilight there all the time when she was a filly; for a little thing, she could really eat. She’d sit out there and study and eat all the apples on a tree if I let her.”

        “How often to you come to Donut Joe’s?”

        “I wish I could come here every day, but my advisor doesn’t let me.”

        “Who’s your advisor, again?”

        “Mr. Kiusa. He was at dinner. Old, grayish colored stallion. Beard down to his hooves.”

        “Oh, right.” You don’t think you like him, but you don’t know well enough to make an effective judgment.

“Sometimes I’ll secretly send somepony to pick me up a dozen so he won’t find out. I’m on a diet now, so I can’t really be eating them.”

        She takes a donut and eats the entire thing in one bite.

        “Dieting sucks. Sometimes I think I can go a few decades without sweets, but I can’t even go a week. Century after century, I still can’t live without them.”

        “I love them too,” you respond, finding her exaggerations a bit extreme. She’s talking about decades and centuries like they’re months and years. “How long have you been Twilight’s mentor?”

        “Hmm…” she thinks, swallowing another donut. She’s really putting them away. “She’s about 23 right now. She applied for my school when she was… seven or eight? So about 15 years now.”

        Wow. She’s been teaching Twilight for 15 years? That’s incredible.

        This mare doesn’t look much older than Twilight, she just looks bigger. If you had to guess Celestia’s age, you’d put her in her 30s somewhere, maybe 40s if you were really stretching it. She doesn’t look old. She looks more… matronly and experienced.

        So, if she’s around 35 right now, and Twilight is 23, that means Celestia started teaching her when she was 20. That’s a very young age.

        “That long?” you ask.

        “That long. It’s been fun, she’s a very intelligent young lady.”

        “And the school is yours, you said?”

        “Yes, that it is. I started it… oh, it feels like a millenia ago… I probably started that school around 300 years ago? Something like that.”

        “300 years ago?”

        Now her exaggerations are just ridiculous. At least she’s consistent with them, but they’re a little over the top. How are you supposed to learn anything about this woman if everything that happened to her happened ‘centuries ago,’ hundreds of years before she was born?

        “It’s something like that. I - Oh! Oooh…” Celestia smiles gleefully down at you, realizing something. She puts another donut down before she can devour it in one bite. “Nopony has told you how old I am, have they?”

        You don’t see how that’s relevant. If anything, her question startles you a bit, as now you don’t know what to say. It’s impolite to ask a lady her age, especially when that lady is royalty.

        But she doesn’t seem to be baiting you into anything. Her question sounded genuine. What would her age have to do with anything?

        “I-I haven’t thought to ask,” you respond diplomatically.

        “Certainly not. Judging by that look on your face I’d say you think it’s impolite to ask.”

        “I-I do, yes, Princess. I wasn’t going to ask.”

        “I know you weren’t, dear. I believed somepony would’ve told you by now. I don’t mean to shock you more than you already have been this past week, but I just might.”

        You have no doubt.

        “I’m over 2,000 years old.”

        ...Huh?

        “As is my sister, Luna. Well, she’s younger than me by 4 years, but no matter how old we get, she never forgets I’m the big sister.”

        What is she even talking about?

        “A lot of ponies assume Luna is younger than me by centuries because of our size difference. But no. Just a 4 year separation.”

        Is she messing with you? She’s gotta be messing with you. The reason no one else has told you that she’s thousands of years old is because she isn’t.

        Presumably.

        But at the same time, you’re not entirely writing off that possibility. A lot of weird shit has happened this past week; her being thousands of years old wouldn’t be really surprising.

        “It’s true,” she says, mouth full of donut. “Believe it or not. But we will discuss more of that tomorrow. I can give you a more detailed summary of Equestrian history tomorrow. I’ve lived through all of it. Donut?”

        She levitates a donut and puts it in front of you, not waiting for a response.

        “I shouldn’t have anymore, I’ve had my fair share.”

        You glance into the box. Where there once were a dozen of the delicious pastries, there are none. Absolutely zero.

        That means she ate ten of them. You’ve only been here for a few minutes.

        “Don’t tell my sister we came here,” Celestia requests. “I’m not supposed to come here. She’ll get jealous and yell at me for not sticking to my diet when she is. Come, let us return to the castle.”

Celestia ushers you out of the donut shop, speaking of her love of pastries while all the miniature horses in the general area stop and stare at their Princess. Some even bow.

        She must command a lot of respect. It’s weird being around these ponies, but it’s getting more interesting.

        
==========

        “You have a beautiful home,” you say, both you and Celestia strolling the hallways of the castle for the last time this evening a she escorts you to your room. “It’s gorgeous. It’s not like anything I’ve ever seen before.”

        This is a different part of the castle, you think. Apparently. It all basically looks the same to you. There are walls, paintings, guards...

        Castle stuff. It all blends together. It all looks the same. It’s pretty and all, but confusing.

        It’s just huge. Surely the biggest horse in the pony kingdom should live in the biggest castle, but damn. This is massive by human standards. The ceiling has to be, like, 20 or 30 feet above your head.

        It’s like a human castle... But… different… Everything in this world is just… so… cute.

        Cute has to be the best word for it. It’s the closest word that comes to describing all this stuff.

        It barely looks real.

        “Thank you, dear. It is lovely,” Celestia agrees. “This must be the most I’ve walked all week, so I guess it’s okay I got those donuts. I usually just go from my room to work downstairs then eventually back up again. I even went out to the garden today.”

        “You don’t go out to the garden that much? It is your backyard.”

        “I don’t get out too much, even to a place as close as this. I just haven’t had a reason to be out here. I’ll come through if I’m showing somepony around or if I get bored. It’s a shame, really. My sister doesn’t care much for the garden, and my niece and nephew don’t often accept my invitation for a stroll. Unless I have company I don’t have a reason to walk through the garden.”

        “Well, if you like, I could take some walks through the garden with you,” you offer. It’s the least you could do for her, and this is a nice place to hang out. “If I’ll be staying here I won’t be doing much.”

        “I’d like that,” the giant horse smiles at you, causing you to smile as well. “A walk is better with company. Have I told you about what we’ll be doing together during your stay here?”

        “No, Princess.”

        You have no idea why you’re here, honestly. You still want to go home. This world just isn’t for you.

        You’ve only been here for a few days and you’ve almost died like five times. A land of happiness and friendship isn’t for some people.

        There are a lot of differences between this world and your old one, and you just aren’t going to get used to them. Talking, flying, magical, colorful ponies? It’s like a weird acid trip that’s lasting days.

        The alicorn Goddess begins. “You’ll be staying here for the next several weeks, at least. I want to learn as much about your culture, your species, your world as possible. I don’t want you to feel nervous; I want to learn about you and your people while finding you a way home.”

        “There’s a way to get me home?” you ask hopefully. You’ve been in Equestria for a pretty short period of time and you already can’t wait to leave.

        “If there is, we will find it. You came to Equestria somehow so there must be a way to leave. Of course, this will take some time, so I’ll prepare you a larger room to stay in and get you outfitted with some real clothing.”

        That’s very generous, you think.

        It’s odd to you that someone, especially the ruler of a country, especially the ruler of a country outside of your world, is this accommodating towards you. It makes you wonder why.

        Sure, she’s being nice and all, but now she’s being more than nice. Most ponies here have been more than nice to you. It’s just putting you off a bit.

        “Here’s your room,” Celestia announces.

        “Thank you, Princess,” you say, surprised at how short that walk seemed. You thought your room was much farther away.

        “Get some rest. Whenever you wake up, there will be a guard right outside your door and he will bring you to me.”

        “Thank you, Princess.”

        “I will see you tomorrow. Sweet dreams.”

        “Goodnight, Princess.”

        Celestia turns away and walks down the hallway to wherever the hell it is she’s going. You don’t know what royalty does.

You watch her walk away for a moment, eyes fixated on her blowing multicolored tail… You can see the corners of the sun that is her cutie mark as her flanks sway back and forth…

        Time to get some sleep.

==========

You can’t sleep. Maybe it was that nap from earlier that energized you this much, but you just can’t fall asleep. You’re not even really tired.

        This whole situation is still a little too surreal for you to comfortably relax and fall asleep without the assistance of medication. Now that you’re not on drugs anymore, sleep just isn’t naturally coming. You’re awake, and by the feel of it, you will be for some time.

        May as well do something. Your tiny ass bed isn’t comfortable anyway, and you will not miss it.

        You struggle your way back into your microscopic wheelchair before heading out again.

        The hallway lights are still on and are as bright as ever, and it takes a moment for your eyes to adjust. It’s weird those lights are this bright. You still can’t tell if electricity exists in this land.

        Ah well. Who cares. It’s not a thought you should get hung up on.

        You roll into the hallway and close your door behind you. To your left is a long hallway. To your right is a long hallway. No guards here.

        Question now is: Where should you go? You still don’t know where anything is whatsoever. You have a vague idea as to where the Dining Hall is, but no sense in going there. It’s like 2 in the morning.

        You kinda remember where the garden is. Seeing as the garden is the only place in the castle where you actually know where it is, you decide to head there. It’s not like you have anything else to do. And even if you did have something else to do, you wouldn’t know how to get there.

        You start rolling towards the garden.

==========

        There are no guards immediately outside your room, but there are a few Royal Guards in some of the other hallways leading to outside this time of night, looking diligent and threatening as ever. They won’t make direct eye contact with you, but you can’t escape the feeling that they’re watching your every move.

        But that’s probably because they are.

        It makes you nervous every time you have to wheel by one of them. You’re just waiting for them to jump scare you. One day they will, and you will poop your pants.

        After a few twists and turns, you come across a window, and right outside the window is the castle’s lovely garden.

        Fuck. How do you get out there?

        You can see it, but how do you get outside? This is ridiculous.

        You continue down the hall in the hopes of finding a door or something. As far as you can tell, the only way out to the garden would be going out the window, but you probably wouldn’t be able to get the chair through it. There should be a door or something around here somewhere.

        The problem with this castle is that everything looks the same. The walls in this hallway are the same color as every other hallway. The only thing that kinda distinguishes the hallways are the pieces of artwork, most them paintings of what you can assume are famous historical ponies or events or pretty landscapes.

        And the problem with that is they all look the same to you. For all you know, you could be seeing the same painting over and over again. You might have just spent all day rolling up and down the same hallway over and over again.

        It also doesn’t help that all the guards look the exact same. How can you tell where you’ve been?

        Unless that pink princess comes back to rescue you from yourself, you’ll probably die wandering these halls.

        During your confused inner monologue, you have managed to find a door that connects to a stone path and leads outside.

        Everyone gets lucky once in a while.

        The stone path is surprisingly smooth and you wonder how much time it took to complete this whole thing. The craftsmanship is impeccable, and it makes for a comfortable ride in your chair.

        Question now is: Where should you explore?

        The garden is awfully big, but you don’t want to get lost inside of it. You decide just to roll around the area Princess Celestia and you were earlier. That section was pretty enough.

        As you roll outside you gaze up at the night sky, remarking on how pretty it is. It’s the fullest night sky you may have ever seen.

        The stars are all out, there’s the moon, and not all the sky is just black. Some of it looks kinda purple or something. It’s pretty neat.

        You suppose you can see most of the night sky because the city you’re in isn’t lit up all too much. It’s not like New York City or something where all the lights are on all the time so you can’t see the stars.

        Perhaps electricity doesn’t exist then.

        Feeling adventurous, you wander off a bit, exploring an area of the garden you haven’t seen yet.

==========

        Well, there are certainly a shit load of plants out here. It is a garden.

        Some plants and flowers are pretty basic; things you’ve seen before. Some flowers, though, are just things you’ve never even thought could exist.

        In front of you is a host of several flowers that give off a light green glow, illuminating the general area. They glow in the dark. It’s incredible.

        That’s not it, either. Some plants glow in the dark, some are just odd colors in general, and some can move by themselves.

        You’re a little too nervous to touch them though.

        You want to touch one, but you don’t want to be eaten by any of them. You just assume that’s something that can happen. There’s no reason to think otherwise.

        Nevertheless, they’re very aesthetically pleasing.

        They’re probably prettier than the flowers back on Earth (assuming you aren’t on Earth anymore, which you do). As far as you know, flowers on Earth can’t glow in the dark.

        Okay, you’re not a botanist or anything. They’re just pretty fucking flowers. Fantastic.

        While lost in your thoughts about flowers and things you don’t even really care about, a large thud is heard behind you, as if something fell from the sky and crashed into the ground.

        Startled, you quickly turn your chair and come face to face with a giant dark blue horse with a flowing blue mane. Her mane looks like it has… miniature constellations in it… it’s gorgeous. Jesus.

        Her menacing blue eyes seems to glow in the dark. You want to look away from them, but you find that you can’t.

        Her pupils don’t look round. They look kinda narrowed… like a snake.

        You remember this pony from dinner: Princess Luna, Celestia’s sister. She was looking at you weird then. She’s look at you weird now.

        “G-Good evening, Princess,” you say, clearing your throat. As you remember from earlier, she didn’t look very pleased that you were at the head of the table next to her sister. You’re not sure if you may have offended her. You’ve seen Game of Thrones, so you know how easily royalty gets pissed off, and shit quickly escalates from there.  

Honestly, she intimidates you. Even more than Celestia. A lot more than Celestia, actually.

        The pretty talking horse Princess intimidates you. It’s an odd thought.

        “Good morning,” she offers plainly, a neutral expression on her face as she gazes down upon you.

        Well, now what? Is it your turn to talk again? She’s just looking at you like you’re a television or something.

        “What brings you to the Royal Garden at this hour?” she asks, thankfully breaking the silence.

Royal Garden is kind of a bland name. They could’ve named it anything, after anyone. But no. Opportunity wasted.

        “I couldn’t sleep, Princess,” you say carefully. “Just thought I’d… go for a stroll.” You tell the Princess your full name, saying it’s nice to officially meet her.

        “We know who you are. We are Princess Luna, ruler of Equestria, guardian of the night.”

        That’s one hell of a title.

“Our sister alerted Us of your presence. She said you shall be staying with us for the foreseeable future.”

        “I suppose so,” you squeak out. This pony doesn’t sound thrilled that you’re going to be around for a while. She doesn’t seem to like you.

        “We hope you make yourself at home then.”

        Her words are friendly, but her tone sounds unpleasant. Is she being sarcastic? She has to be… But what if she isn’t? What if that’s just how she talks?

        God.

        “Thank you, Princess Luna,” you say, trying to be as courteous as you can manage. “You have a lovely home.”

        “Hmm.”

        …

        That’s her response? Does she not like the castle? Did you already tell her she has a lovely home? You remember saying that earlier to someone.

        Should you compliment her? She’s an attractive horse. Or would she take offense to that?

        Crap. This just doesn’t feel like it’s going well. And that feeling probably won’t stop. Once something like this starts it usually gains momentum and keeps going.

        She seems perfectly comfortable with sitting in silence. You are too, just not in this particular situation. Life will go a lot easier if this pony likes you, so you have to get her to like you.

        “Beautiful night, Princess,” you say, breaking the silence.

        “‘Tis because We made it that way.”

        Back to silence again. How are you supposed to respond to that? You didn’t expect her to say that.

        And what does she mean ‘we made it that way?’ That doesn’t make any sense. Oh, that’s right. These ponies think they control the weather and shit. Just play along.

        “And you did a bang up job,” you chuckle. Luna looks at you disapprovingly before gazing back up to the sky.

        Why did you say that? Who says that? God damn it!

        Would it kill this pony to smile or something? Would it destroy her just to show any kind of friendliness whatsoever? Honestly, this is upsetting.

        You shouldn’t have gotten out of bed. You shouldn’t have started talking to this pony. Now that you have, there is no escape. You will have to sit here and stare at the sky for as long as she does. There is no way you can just leave when standing in the presence of a Princess. That’s rude.

        Until she tells you to go away, you will remain.

==========

        This has been the longest 2 minutes of your entire life. This seemingly short amount of time has dragged on for ages; seasons have come and gone, generations have passed, flowers have wilted, died, and been reborn…

        And you’re still staring at the moon with Princess Luna.

        She hasn’t looked away for even a second. She hasn’t blinked in a long time either. She’s just sitting next to you, staring at the moon. Staring… Endlessly.

        And you still can’t bring yourself to move. Did she fall asleep with her eyes open?

        This silence is killing you. You just can’t help but feel like you have to say something. You don’t know what to say, and don’t actually want to say anything, but you feel like you need to.

        She doesn’t seem like someone who talks a lot. You’ve only known her for about 3 minutes, but that’s how she comes across.

        When you saw her earlier at dinner that’s how she seemed too.

        It’s odd that she’s supposedly Princess Celestia’s sister. Princess Celestia can talk quite a bit and is very open and friendly. But they probably aren’t actually related.

        They’re both huge and have wings and a horn and wavy hair, but that’s all they have in common.

        Celestia is white, Luna is blue. Celestia is smiling and outgoing, Luna isn’t coming across that way. Maybe they’re related. Maybe they just refer to each other as sisters.

        They have cutie marks that are exact opposites...

Why is she just staring at the moon anyway? What sort of special connection does she have with it? Sure, she has a picture of the moon on her ass, but what does that even mean?

        You forgot to ask Celestia about her cutie mark earlier. Would it be rude to ask? That means you were kinda checking her out.

        Well, it doesn’t mean that, exactly, but that might be the way it comes across.

        It shouldn’t be too big of a deal to ask. After all, these animals are naked just about 100% of the time. Not to mention that Celestia’s cutie mark is gigantic; it’s impossible not to see it.

        It feels weird to refer to them as ‘animals.’ They aren’t animals, you don’t even feel right looking at them that way.

        They’re… creatures of some kind. You don’t know what to call them. They’re definitely some kind of hybrid of horses and humans; they have qualities of both. It’s odd to think about. If a horse was a human, it’d be these creatures.

        Now that you’re sitting here, focusing more and more on the night sky, you realize how pretty is actually is. The moon is a quarter its normal size, there are more stars than you’ve probably ever seen, and it manages to softly light up the garden without it being bright.

        It’s like someone turned down the dimmer switch that controls the day. It’s very relaxing to look at.

        “It is pleasing to have company,” the horse finally speaks, startling you a bit. “We have not shared a night with somepony other than Ourselves in several new moons.”

        Her speaking in the third person is driving you insane. Why can’t she just speak normally? What century is this woman from?

        Hey, at least she’s talking again. That probably means she doesn’t hate you.

        “It’s a gorgeous night,” you say, trying to do whatever you can to get away from this horse and back into the safety of your room. It’s nice to have company and all, but you two probably won’t be friends in the future. She’s a little… off putting.

        Even if you do see each other in the future, you can’t imagine you two saying more to each other than you have tonight. Oh well.

        “We thank you,” she says, continuing her third person thing. “You should get more rest, traveller. We have been informed of your rather eventful day and would suggest sleep, though We do appreciate your company.”

“S-Sure, Princess. We should do it again sometime.”

        You have no intentions of keeping that promise, but when a person’s mind believes they could be freed from an unwanted situation, they will say anything just to make an escape. You are no exception.

        “We would most appreciate that,” Luna says, and it sounds like she genuinely means it too. You can’t tell if she’s being serious or not; she sounds like she is, but she still has that same blank look on her face. You’ll have to ask Princess Celestia tomorrow, as she’s the only normal one around here. “Do you need an escort back to your room?”

        “No, thank you, Princess, I can find my way back.”

        You’re not sure if you can or not, but spending more time with this woman isn’t ideal. She scares you a little bit. She scares you even more than Celestia does, and Celestia scares you.

        Or she used to anyway. Going to a donut shop with her was kinda surreal, but it was enjoyable. You hope you two do that again.

        “Very well,” she says with a nod. “Have a pleasant evening, traveller. We shall be seeing you tomorrow.”

        Before you can say anything, her wings flare out and flap, propelling her straight into the air. Her dark form blends in with the night sky and she is gone. The downdraft from her takeoff nearly knocks you over.

        Well that was fun.

        You best get back to your room before anymore princesses come out and stare at you. You’ve had enough of that for one lifetime.

        You eventually find a way out of the garden and roll back into the castle hallways. You think you remember where your room is.

        The hallways are empty. Maybe the guards changed shifts? Maybe they’re just hiding. Who knows?

        Not you. Not like it matters anyway. It’s nicer to roll through an empty hallway than a hallway with threatening guards all over it.

        The journey back to your room is going pretty quickly, as you propel yourself forward a bit faster for the sake of getting out of anymore unwanted confrontation.

        You’re still not tired yet, but that’s okay. As long as you’re alone and in your room, everything will be much better.

        “Halt!” a voice shouts from behind you. As you are the only person in the general area, you stop your chair and turn around.

        There’s one of those golden armored guards approaching you, looking incredibly displeased. What’d you do? Is he yelling at you? Who else would he be yelling at?

        “State your business,” the guard demands, having closed the distance between you two.

        “I… live here?”

        That answer didn’t sound especially confident because it wasn’t. You’re not really sure what your business is here. You suppose you do technically live here. How else could you have answered that question?

        “Ha, funny,” he says, not laughing. “You’re under arrest for trespassing on federal property.”

        “...Wait, what?”

        The guard takes a pair of handcuffs and slaps them on your wrists.

        What?

        He grips you in his magic, picks you and your wheelchair up, and starts taking you… somewhere.

        And you have no idea what’s going on.

==========

        Some unicorn is using his magic abilities to pick you and your wheelchair up. They’re taking you to the basement of the castle, which you only assume is where a jail or some sort of dungeon is.

        You can’t tell if you’re scared or not. You think you are, but some of that feeling has gotta be just confusion. And maybe a little frustration due to you having no idea what’s going on.

       These stairs are steep and there’s no end in sight. At least he isn’t making you walk… or roll down the stairs.

        Everything around you is made out of stone. The stones look dark and damp… like a dungeon. They’re throwing you in a dungeon. It’s like every dungeon in a child’s cartoon you remember from your childhood. If there’s a troll at the end of these stairs, you’ll know you’ve been dreaming.

        It’s a long way down here. There are dozens of stairs. You may hardly know where anything in this castle is, but at least you know where your bedroom is, where the garden is, and where the dungeon is. All the important stuff.

        You eventually make it to the actual dungeon area which consists of a few cells. They’re all empty though, so you suppose that’s a good thing. The guard places you back onto the floor after having carried you for so long.

        He wheels you into your cell which you notice is very small. It’s a jail size for a pony, only problem is that you’re bigger than a pony. It’s a simple cell with a bench, a stone floor, stone walls, stone ceiling, and a hole in the ground. It looks barely big enough to fit you and your chair.

        You are lifted up and out of your chair and placed directly onto the floor. There’s a bench on the wall in here, but for whatever reason they elected not to sit you on that. The ground is where you are, and it’s where you’ll stay.

        It’s not by choice, but because you can’t really move, it’s where you are. Seriously, why did they put you on the floor? That’s just inconsiderate.

        The guard walks away after locking you in, taking your chair with them, leaving you alone and mostly immobile.

        Well, now what?

        What do people do in jail?... They sing the blues… play the harmonica… have sex with each other…

        You can’t do any of those things. Literally none. Perhaps you could try singing the blues, but it’s a little early for that. Maybe once you’ve been in here for like, another 20 minutes, then maybe you could give that a shot.

        Why did they take your chair? Like, seriously, what was the point of that?

        Good work, guards! Good thing you took the chair away! Now there’s definitely no way you can roll out of the cell. That chair was your only hope of escape. With it, rolling out of here would’ve been a piece of cake. Good thinking on their part.

        What a bunch of assholes.

        Why did you get arrested for trespassing anyway? Aren’t you supposed to be here?

        Perhaps you wandered into a restricted area, like they have in Harry Potter. It’s a completely logical thought, and it’s the only thing you can think of.

        Problem is, none of the Princesses said anywhere was off limits. Wouldn’t they have told you? Surely someone would’ve told you.

        There were guards all throughout the castle, just absolutely everywhere, and none of them told you not to do anything or where you shouldn’t go. Why didn’t they arrest you earlier? Why didn’t they tell you where not to go?

        You seriously have nothing to do. No one to talk to, no games to play, nothing. You can see how someone could go insane if this is all they did all day.

        Eventually you’re going to have to use the bathroom. That’ll eventually become a necessity. And there’s no toilet in here.

        There’s just a hole in the ground that smells foul.

        Can you get a lawyer? Can you get a phone call or something? You need to tell someone you know that you’re down here. They didn’t read you your rights. This is all just a misunderstanding of some kind.

        Do they have phones or lawyers here? Who would you call?

        You’d call Princess Celestia, probably, but how big is her schedule? She might be really busy. It could be days before she finds out you’re here.

        Maybe you could tell Twilight or Rarity or one of their friends. But they’re miles and miles away.

        Looks like there’s no immediate solution to this problem. They haven’t offered you a lawyer or anything anyway.

        You don’t know how the justice system works here at all.

        Regardless, you’re alone, and it appears you will be for a while.

==========

        You’ve been locked in here for years, probably. It certainly feels that way.

        The sky isn’t visible from down here, so there’s no telling what time of day or night it is. It might still be night time, it might be the apocalypse, you don’t know.

        The area outside your cell is lit by torches, so at least you can see that much, but there isn’t anything out there to see. Every once in a while a guard walks by, but he never looks over at you. He just walks by.

It might be the same guy every time, it might not. They all look the same.  

        Are they going to torture you? That’s a stereotype that goes along with dungeons. You don’t see any reason they’d have for hurting you, so maybe not, but that thought keeps creeping into your head regardless.

        Surely they won’t, but who knows. It’s a strange world.

        “This way, Princess,” you hear one of the guards say from the top of the stairs, his voice echoing off the walls.

        Uh oh. One of the princesses is coming? You hope it’s Celestia or… the pink one… whatever her name was. They were nice. They’ll probably help you.

        Luna looks mean. She looks like she’d yell at you if you were arrested. She looks like she’d destroy you.

        Now you know you’re in trouble. She didn’t seem to like you much when talking to you in the garden. If she found out you broke the law, who knows what would happen.

        So much for a first impression.

        But hey, maybe it’s Celestia or… God, what was the pink one’s name? Candice? Something like that. It’s like that but weirder.

        Your heart starts racing as you wonder who it’s going to be. It’s gotta be one of the princesses.

        33% chance it’s not who you want it to be. Either she’ll let you out or leave you here forever.

        The guard and the mysterious figure slowly become illuminated as they approach the front of your cell but you still can’t tell exactly who it is. The figure seems to blend in with the background.

        Crap. Only one of the princesses is dark enough to blend into the dark.

        As they approach your cell, the light from the torches fully reveals them, and it is exactly who you don’t want to be.

        Along with the guard who arrested you is Princess Luna, the darkest of the princesses who seems to have the shortest temper.

        This isn’t going to be good. yYou brace yourself from your lowly position on the floor. From where you’re sitting she looks even bigger than before, adding to her intimidation factor.

        The guard and Luna eventually come to a stop right in front of your cell. The guard looks menacingly down upon you, and Luna…

        She looks at you, not with that blank stare she does so well, but with a bit of confusion. You can’t tell what she’s thinking. You haven’t up to this point and you probably never will.

        “This is the trespasser,” the guard announces.

        Luna says your name, as though making sure it’s you that she’s looking at. It’s good she remembers your name. Maybe that’s a good thing.

        “H-Hello, Princess,” you reply quietly, wondering what’s coming next. You should’ve hopped up onto the bench so that you weren’t sitting on the floor. It’d look better.

        This won’t be good.

        Weren’t you told you could roam the castle and the garden? Did Celestia tell you that? Or was it Luna? You think it was Celestia.

        Maybe Luna doesn’t know what Celestia allowed you to do. Uh oh.

        This’ll be bad.

        “I found him-”

        “What the FUCK?!” Luna booms, rattling the sturdy walls, scaring you. Some stones from the wall and ceiling come loose and fall to the floor.  

        Holy ballsack!

        How did she make her voice go that loud? You think you just crapped your pants. Did the entire city not hear that?

        Oh my absolute god.

        You went from being scared to horrified, just like that. Interesting thing is that she’s not even yelling at you, as she turned towards the guard.

But you still feel afraid.

        The guard leaps up and stands at attention, facing Luna and sweating. Meanwhile, Luna lowers her head so that she’s right in the guard’s face, looking as angry as you’ve ever seen her.

        “The fact that you do not know who this is implies that you have not been doing your job properly, Corporal. It says to Us that you are not listening to the memos of your superiors. Is Our assumption correct?”

        “N-No, P-Princess!” he shouts back nervously, starting to sweat. You’re surprised he hasn’t died of a heart attack. You’re just watching this happen and you feel like you’re about to die.

        “No? If We are mistaken, then there is no reason for you to have imprisoned a guest invited to the castle by Our beloved sister, and your Princess! We will ask again: Are you reading the daily memos of your superiors?”

        “N-No, Princess!”

        “No! Of course not! We already knew that, peasant! You have imprisoned a royal guest. How dare you make so gross a mistake! If Our sister discovered this, she would be twice as angry as Us!”

        You’re surprised the stallion hasn’t crapped himself. You think you might.

        How does anyone even work here if this is the reprimanding they get? Sure, it sounds like this guy made a pretty large mistake, but if this is how you get scolded for screwing up, you sure as hell couldn’t work here.

        Not without getting a few heart attacks and dying of stress.

        Luna continues. “We will decide tomorrow if Our sister needs to hear of this.”

        Luna’s talking about Celestia like she’s the scary one. Of the two, you’d rather deal with Celestia than Luna, she seems a lot nicer. But Luna, the more strict one in your eyes, speaks of Celestia like she’s the strict one.

        Perhaps Celestia was just being nice to you because you’re a guest. She might not be as kind as she lets on, but there’s no way for you to know that yet.

        “If you ever even think about making this mistake, if you ever even dream of making this mistake again, We will find out, and We will use your face to clean latrines for the next 200 years! Do We make Ourselves clear?!”

        “Y-Yes, Princess!”

        “Get him out of there.”

        It’s amazing how she can make her voice do that. If she kept it up any longer, you think the whole foundation of the castle would crumble and you’d be crushed. It’s like she has an invisible megaphone or something.

        Can all ponies do that? You should ask about that tomorrow or something, that’s so cool. Scary as hell, but cool.

        The guard hastily gets the keys and unlocks the door, opening it. Unfortunately, you still can’t move ‘cause your chair is gone.  

        “And you put him on the floor?” Luna barks, turning back to the guard. “As if him being in a wheelchair wasn’t enough. If We had all year We couldn’t express how stupid you are. Insulting a guest of the Princess is no short of insulting the Princess herself!”

        “Yes, Princess!”

        “Get his chair!”

        The guard bolts away, disappearing into the black background that is the dungeon.

        Now you feel bad for some reason. That guard got yelled at so hard that even you feel bad, and it didn’t even happen to you.

        That’s how scary that woman’s voice is. Holy shit.

        “Are you all right?” Luna asks, saying your name, and genuinely sounding like she wants to make sure you’re okay. It’s kinda touching that she yelled at some dude for you. Her throat must hurt after all that.

        “Yes, Princess,” you say, still seated. “I’m fine. I’ve only been down here for a bit.”

        “We apologize for the mistake. It will most certainly not happen again. If one of the guards does not recognize you, if one of the guards do not let you to roam the castle, if one of the guards does not let you into the castle, or if one of the guards brings you back down here, tell Us or Our sister, and we will deal with them.”

        She said that last part kinda sinisterly. You’re sure it won’t be a problem after this. After tonight, you’d bet every guard this castle has and ever will have will be too nervous to do anything to you.

        “Right here, Princess!” the guard announces, bringing forth your wheelchair. Luna takes it away from the guard with her magic, picking you up and setting you back into the chair in just a few seconds.

        “We recommend you begin reading Our memos, Corporal Archer,” Luna says, picking you up and starting back up the stairs. “Any more mistakes will not only cost you a promotion, but a job!”

        “Yes, Princess!”

        You actually feel sorry for the guy. You hope you don’t keep him from a promotion or anything.

==========

        “We sincerely apologize for the confusion,” Princess Luna says as you roll next to her. She offered to escort you back to your room, which you thought sounded like a great idea. Not only will you get to learn the way to your room from a different part of the castle, but you’ll actually get to your destination safely.

        You want to know more about Luna. You have a lot of questions, but don’t want to get too personal too quickly.

        That voice she did was amazing. She could defeat an army with a yell like that. It’s incredible. You’ll have to ask Celestia more about it tomorrow. She’ll probably tell you.

        “It’s okay, Princess,” you say, rolling along. “I’ve only been here for a day. Some ponies just don’t know me yet.”

        “They should. They have no excuse. We told them who you are, when you’d be coming, and what you looked like. These ponies know better than to mistake you for a trespasser. We take full responsibility for what has happened, and apologize.”

        “It’s okay, really. Not that big of a deal.”

        Whether or not you actually mean that, you don’t know. Being in a dungeon, scared and alone, sucked.

        It was a pretty crappy experience, but right now, you just feel overjoyed to have gotten out. Good thing the guard went to go tell Luna. If he didn’t get someone who recognized you to actually come see you, you’d still be down there.

        And that would suck. That would be awful.

        You can’t imagine sleeping down there. You can’t imagine spending an entire hour down there.

        You make a mental note to never come close to breaking the law in this country. If that’s what all their jails look like, you don’t want anything to do with them.

        “We are glad you think that way,” Luna says. “Wars have started over smaller incidents.”

        You suppose that’s true, but you’re not going to start a war. Or be anywhere near one, ideally.

        After a few moments, you come to your door, which Luna opens for you.

        “We bid you a goodnight once again,” Luna says. “Get plenty of rest. Rest assured that another incident like this will never happen again. We shall see you tomorrow.”

        “Thank you, Princess. I’ll see you tomorrow,” you repeat, and Luna departs. You shut the door, hop in bed, disrobe, and hit the pillow.

        The bed might be small, but it’s really comfortable right now. Damn.

        You could sleep for 1,000 years.

        As you drift off, you think the same thought you’ve thought before falling asleep every night this week.

        It’s been a pretty weird day.

==========

        For the first time in quite a while, you’re not drugged out of your mind. You’re in a bit more pain than usual, but it’s worth it to be able to have a clear thought for once.

        You’re still in the hospital, but Celestia told you she’s going to try and get you out of here a little early. If anything, the doctors at the castle will monitor you. There’s enough equipment there to start a small hospital anyway.

You’ve gotten passed the point where the doctors thought you actually had a chance of dying, so that’s good to hear.

        Now it’s just a long recovery process. The pain apparently will never completely go away, but it will diminish over time. So that sucks, but what are you going to do?

        You’re going to deal with it.

        They took off your eye bandage this morning. You were hoping for a cool scar or something, but you only got a little one. It’s barely visible and will apparently heal at some point. So that sucks. It wasn’t even worth it.

        You had the eye bandage, the doctor told you, to keep your scar from getting infected and then that infection spreading to your eye. That’s a quick way to, not only lose your eye, but to die. You’ve been through too much bullshit to die now.

        So much build up for nothing.

        That appears to be the only one of your injuries to actually heal, though. Everything else is still here.

        You have three holes in your body. For every wound, you can feel your heart beating there. You have an extra heartbeat in your thigh, stomach, and shoulder. It’s weird.

        The medication is supposed to help relax you, but you don’t want to be relaxed right now.

        You’ve been in the hospital for… How long has it been actually? A week? More than that?

        You don’t know. You haven’t been keeping track.

        But ever since Celestia has been staying here with you, you haven’t actually had a legitimate conversation. Not really, anyways.

        You were both so happy to be alive and with each other again that you didn’t address the tension between you two. There certainly is a bit of tension. You can feel it.

        Celestia hasn’t addressed it, so you’ll have to. There’s a lot you haven’t said to this woman that you need to.

        No one goes from being in a happy relationship, to breaking up, to getting shot, to getting back together again just like that. Celestia certainly wants it to be like that, and you do too, but you have to talk about what happened. It’s not healthy just to keep your feelings bottled up.

        That’s a recipe for a failed relationship, and you intend to be keeping this relationship for the rest of your life.

        You can tell Celestia is still mad at you for not obeying her.

        Now you just have to get this conversation started. These kind of conversations are a little awkward to try to begin. Especially if the other person doesn’t want to have it.

        Not only that, but there are a million other questions you still haven’t asked and have been dying to get answers to. For example, are your friends still alive?

        Last you saw them, your closest friends were okay. Soarin and Spitfire and Griff, they might be okay. You don’t know.

        While you’ve been here, they’ve presumably been fighting. And maybe dying. You need to know.

        You’re guessing you won the battle and any ones since as Canterlot currently isn’t under siege. You think you’d know if it was.

        You want to know where your army is right now. How they’re progressing. You hope the war is short.

        Being in this hospital room, you don’t know a thing. Celestia hasn’t told you anything, probably as to not worry you. But you think you’re more stressed not knowing than knowing. Even if the news is bad, you still want to hear it.

        You look over at your marefriend, and just doing that much makes you as happy as you’ve ever been.

        She’s not even looking at you.

        She’s been very busy running a country, fighting a war, dealing with you, and who knows what else. If she’s stressed, she’s hiding it tremendously. She’s very very good at hiding her emotions when she really wants to.

        Your marefriend has her back towards you, looking over a shit ton of papers. You don’t know what they are and you’re not going to ask. Part of what has made your relationship so successful, you think, is that you leave work at work.

        If Celestia is in work mode, you don’t ask about it. If she wants to talk about, great, but you aren’t going to pry. You’re not a politician and you don’t pretend to be. You don’t give her advice or try to help her out.

        She knows what she’s doing. She has to.

        Even though she is really busy, she probably will be for the next few months at the very least. Maybe even years. If you’re going to have a serious discussion, it ought to be now while the information is fresh.

You’ve missed just looking at the mare. Her pristine white coat, her enormous wings, her big purple eyes, her flowing mane and tail… The sight of it all just relaxes you.

Everything feels okay when you look at her. She’s not something you’re going to be giving up.        

        “Celestia?” you ask, needing to get her attention.

        “Yes, sweetie?” she responds, not looking away from her work.

        “Can we talk?”

        “We are talking.”

        “I’m serious.”

        With that, Celestia puts down her papers and turns towards you, reseating herself so that she can get more comfortable.

        “All right then,” she says with a bit of a playful smile. “If you’re serious. What shall we talk about?”

        “I don’t know how else to bring this up, so I’m just going to say it… I want us to talk about what happened.”

        “What are you talking about?”

        “You know what I’m talking about.”

        Celestia sighs, her ears folding back, smile falling. She doesn’t look especially excited.

        “I’m serious. I think we should talk about, lay it all out there, and move on from it.”

        “I don’t want to talk about this right now,” Celestia says with a huff.

        “Why not? We need to have this discussion.”

        “No, not right now, I’m serious. There’s too much going on. There’s a war, you’re not feeling well, I’m going-”

        “No. No. I love you, Celestia? Do you understand that I love you?”

        “Of course I do. I-”

        “Then we need to talk about this. We aren’t going to get anywhere unless we talk about everything that’s happened.”

        She takes a deep breath. “I agree, but to have this discussion right now isn’t a great idea.”

        “Why?”

        “Because you’re medicated. And we haven’t seen each other in months! I don’t want either of us to say anything we’ll regret later. We need some time to organize our thoughts.”

        “I’ve had my time.”

        “I haven’t.”

        “But with the war and everything else going on right now, who knows when we’ll have time to talk about this. I know you’re busy, so I want us to take this time we have now and work this out.”

        “I don’t know… I really don’t want us to say… something we’ll regret.”

        “We can work through anything. I say we do it now while we have the time. I don’t want to put this off. Eventually it’ll be too late to talk about this. Every time you come in here it just feels… well, awkward. We don’t have to deny what happened, we just need to see each other’s perspective.”

        “That’s a very reasonable thought,” she concedes. “I don’t want us to fight.”

        “I don’t either.”

        “But it will happen.”

        “It might. But nothing changes at all if we don’t talk. I know there’s a bit of tension between us even if we are back together again. So let’s just lay it all out there.”

        There’s a pause in the conversation as you see Celestia seriously considering what you just said. Hopefully what you said was completely logical and makes sense, otherwise Celestia will find a hole in it and make you look like an idiot. She has that power.

        “Okay,” she sighs, putting her papers down and pushing her mane out of her face. “I have a lot to say, but I want you to start.”

        “O-Okay,” you clear your throat. “Where should I start?”

        “How about you begin with why you left when I ordered you not to?”

        Well damn. She said that like she’s been wanting to since you left months ago. It takes you a little off guard. You expected the question, of course, but not the attitude that came with it.

        You should’ve expected the attitude though. Celestia gets like this when she doesn’t get her way, and you made sure she didn’t get her way. She may forgive, but she never forgets.

        “Okay…” you begin, gathering your thoughts.

Arguing with Celestia is hard, and it has taught you to logically think through every single word you say before you say it, lest she turn it around on you.

        “I left…” You clear your throat. “There’s a few reason I left, okay? Listen... One reason I left was because of… obligation. I’m in the army. When they go, I go, and they were going. I wasn’t going to turn my back on them at the last second.”

        Celestia sits, waiting for you to finish. The good thing about arguing with her is that she’ll let you get it all out before she retorts.

        “I mean… Do you remember the reason I joined the Equestrian Legion in the first place? I was so scared when I came to Equestria. Every little thing that’s apart of your everyday life confused me. I just wanted to go home. When that was no longer an option, I had to make a life for myself here.”

        Celestia continues to gaze into your eyes.

        “And I did make a life for myself here. A great life. I went from… being scared and confused to being happy and loving, and that’s all because of you and your country and your little ponies. You all accepted me with open arms - legs, I mean. This country has given me everything. Absolutely everything. If it wasn’t for Equestria, I wouldn’t have a job, I might not even be alive, and I most certainly would not be in love.”

        Celestia has no reaction, so you continue.

        “I was overwhelmed by the kindness I received from everyone. I wanted to find a way to give back to this country. The only way I thought I could do that was to get citizenship and join the army. So I did. If they went somewhere, I was going to go with them. I was going to defend the country that gave me everything, and I was going to do it with pride. I was going to defend this country with or without your permission.”

        She’s still just looking at you, soaking in all the information. You wish she’d react somehow or concede that you’re right.

        “That was another reason. Like… You’ve never treated me like your subject, which I technically am. I haven’t had a long history of obeying your commands. But that’s because you don’t want someone who will just listen to you all the time. That’s no fun. It wasn’t personal, you know I love you more than anything in the world. If I felt like I could’ve stayed, I would have. But I had a duty.”

        “I understand why you left,” Celestia says. “I do. I really do. I understand that you wanted to give back to Equestria; I respect that, I admire that. I know you love this country and felt that you should give back to it. I would like to remind you that I was against you joining the Legion in the first place.”

        That’s true, she’s always been strongly opposed to that. But she still let you do it.

“I’m not saying you shouldn’t give back to the land you love. What I’m saying is that you should’ve done it in a more meaningful way.”

        “And what way is that?”

        “Do you remember what I said to you on the night you left?”

        You think for a moment. “Not exactly.”

        “I said that you’d be doing a greater service to Equestria by staying here, with me. The only thing that you leaving did was add stress onto me. I was worried sick. Literally sick. It takes a lot of stress to get me sick, but it happened. Do you really think that you were more useful out there than you would have been with me?”

        “Yes.”

        “Wrong. There are hundreds of thousands of Equestrians ready to fight in battle for their homeland. Anypony in Equestria can do that. But there’s only one being who can be with me throughout these troubled times to... destress their Princess and help her through this. Debatably, many would say I’m the most important pony in Equestria, would you agree?”

        “I would.” For a lot of reasons.

        “I run this country. I debatably have the hardest job. Would you agree?”

        “I would.” She’s laying some kind of trap, you know it.

        “The mental health of the Princess of Equestria is one of Equestria’s top priorities, would you agree?”

        “I would.”

        “Then why did you think it was a good idea for you to leave the Princess of Equestria when she needed you most?”

        You think for a second, but Celestia continues anyway.

        “I know the military is important, and you are a high ranking official. But I am familiar with my military, and there are plenty of qualified ponies to do your job. 99% of the time, one extra person on the battlefield does not make a difference. 100% of the time, however, one person staying with their Princess when she needs them most makes one hell of a difference.”

        Well, she’s got you on the ropes and she ain’t quitting.

        “As if running a country, fighting a war, and worrying about you isn’t enough, I was sick. Physically sick. I haven’t been sick in decades, and this is the worst possible time for it to be happening.”

        “Okay, so maybe you’re right. Maybe I should’ve stayed. But I didn’t. I did what I did because I wanted to. Maybe you’re right, but what’s done is done.”

        “What’s done is done. You have been with me nonstop for a pretty long time now. I needed you more than ever a few months ago, and you left. I was crushed. Absolutely crushed.”

        You don’t say anything. She’s looking sadder and sadder as she continues talking, so butting in right now wouldn’t be the wisest of moves.

        “I haven’t been in a relationship for a very long time. That feeling I got when you left was the exact reason I’ve been avoiding relationships for centuries.”

        “I didn’t mean to make you feel that way,” you say, trying to come up with something. “Of course I didn’t want any of that to happen. It’s not that I left you. I… didn’t. I didn’t really leave you. That whole… That whole situation that night wasn’t about me and you. It was about Equestria. Equestria was going to war, so I went with it.”

        “Wrong again. You thought serving your country in battle would be an equal, if not greater, service to Equestria. You might still think that. But you’re wrong. Being with your Princess when she needed you to would’ve been a greater service.”

        “Maybe you’re right…” you sigh. “Maybe you’re right. I don’t know. Point is, I did what I had to do. I did it, and it’s over now.”

        “It is now. But these past few months have been the longest of my life.”

        “Anyone can make the right decision in hindsight. That’s easy. If you never wanted me to fight in a war, you should’ve forbidden me from joining the Legion.”

        “I had no reason to think Equestria would go to war in your lifetime. I thought you joining the Legion was actually a relatively safe option. I was wrong.”

        “Like I said: hindsight. We see everything clearly now.”

        “I was really mad at you… I was going to scream at you when you got back. I was really going to tear into you, I had it planned out and everything. I knew exactly what I was going to say… But when I heard you were back… I was so happy you weren’t dead that I couldn’t even move…”

        Celestia’s purple eyes wander over your body, her ears folded back. She puts a golden shoed hoof on the side of your bed which you immediately cover with your hand, looking up at her face, but her eyes continue to gaze over your covered form.

        “I just…” Celestia sighs. “I just felt so lonely. After spending everyday and night with you to going to not seeing you at all… it was just lonely. Every night when I went to bed I was reminded you weren’t with me.”

        Just listening to her is making you sad. There has been enough emotions in this hospital room these past few days to make a soap opera.

        “But we could’ve stayed in contact,” you say. “I wasn’t physically with you but I was still here with you… I still could’ve helped. Or tried. If you wrote me any letters I could’ve written you back.”

        “I wrote you several letters,” she claims, and you don’t believe her. “I did. They were… apologetic… regretful… you never wrote me.”

        “What? I never got a single letter from anyone. I thought you ended it with me after seeing that newspaper, so I didn’t feel like I should write you if you didn’t want anything to do with me.”

        “I know.” Celestia clears her throat. “I wrote you several letters, but I stopped myself from sending them.”

        “What? Why?”

        So Celestia actually did write to you? Or, she at least tried to apparently. Do you believe that? You don’t see why she’d lie about such a thing, she’s never been one to just make stuff up.

        Celestia rubs a gold plated hoof along your bedside. “I believed... that if you were captured and had any letters from me on you, they’d use those letters to find out some secret information or… well, try to forcefully get information out of you. If they thought you had some special information, they’d hurt you to get it. I didn’t want them to think you were valuable to me in case you were captured.”

        As depressing as that is, at least it makes sense. That kinda shit happens. Better to leave the enemy with no information.

        Nevertheless, they probably knew who you were anyway. You’re hard to miss.

        “I don’t want to tell you this, but I’m going to,” she breathes. “I saw the gossip article about me and the ‘mystery stallion.’ I was going to quell those rumors... but I didn’t. If the Destrierians believed we weren’t dating anymore, I didn’t think they could use you against me, if it came to that. It also gives regular Equestrian citizens something to talk about besides war; it’s good to have a distraction… It’s all politics.”

        That’s… actually a pretty good idea, now that you’re thinking about it. Theoretically, if you did get captured, you’d be a good target for ransoming or interrogating. But if they didn’t think you knew anything, it’d all probably go a lot easier.

        You still hate the fact that it all happened, but everything happens for a reason.

        “I see…” you say with a breath, feeling that Celestia is right. You don’t want her to be. You want to be right. Being wrong sucks, but you can’t think of anything to counter what she said.

        “I knew it’d hurt. I thought maybe if you thought I had moved on, it would make you mad; make you ready for a battle. That was the idea anyway. I didn’t want to hurt you. I wanted to write you saying what I was planning, but…”

        “Can I read those letters?” you ask. “Do you still have them?”

        Celestia’s snowy cheeks glow red. “I-I do still have them, yes… I’ll let you read them later.”

        “Why not now?”

        “They’re all the way back in our bedroom… I reread them last night and they’re a little… sappy.”

        “What’s wrong with a little sappiness?” you ask with a smile. Now you really want to read them.

        “It’s just embarrassing. I’ll let you see them later.”

        “But now I’m thinking about it and I really want to see them. How-”

        Just then, the door opens and in walks a doctor. He’s smiling while holding a needle, which is terrifying. Needles suck; that’s one thing everyone in the universe can agree on.

        “Oh, good,” Celestia sighs. “The doctor is here. Get some rest, sweetie, we’ll finish this discussion later.”

        Celestia looks incredibly happy to be getting out of a conversation she didn’t want to have in the first place. You pout and roll your eyes.

        “Congratulations,” you say to her.

She smiles at you. “I’m glad we had that talk. We can discuss some more after a nap.”

        The doctor says something, but you’re not paying attention. You wanted this to keep going. It’ll have to wait a bit.

        The doctor and Celestia start chatting about something, but your hearing gradually begins to fade out…

        Your vision becomes blurry… then dark…

        Then you’re asleep.

==========

        You wake up from another relaxing nap. Celestia is still reading next to you, sipping at a cup of tea. Good thing she’s still here.

        Then again, she’s almost always here.

        Maybe it was good you had that nap. It was nice, you feel refreshed, and the pain from earlier has significantly diminished. All good things.

        Your head still feels like it’s screwed on straight, which means that you can still have some serious discussions with your girlfriend.

        Part of you wants to give her a break, though. She does look really busy. Busier than you’ve ever seen her. She hasn’t stopped working since all this crap began. By the end of the war she’s going to be exhausted.

        She’s probably exhausted now.

        You don’t know how she does it. It’s magic, surely.

        However, the part of you that wants to talk wins out. It could be a long time before Celestia gets all her other business taken care of, so she may as well get all your business over and done with while she can.

        Then she won’t have to worry about it again.

        “I want to talk again,” you say, your mind not allowing yourself to fully relax. There have been too many thoughts going around in your head these past few days for you to feel even slightly at ease.

        “Hmm?” Celestia asks, not really paying attention. She’s got much more going on right now. “How was your nap, dear?”

        “I want to talk to you again. I have some questions, I thought you’d be able to answer them.”

        “I imagine I’ll be able to. Not a lot goes on without me hearing about it.” She puts down her papers and turns to you a bit with a soft smile. She scooches up to the side of your bed, which is the closest she’s sat to you in a few days. “What do you got?”

        “I want you to be completely honest with me.”

        “I always am.”

        “I don’t care if it hurts my feelings, I need to know some things.”

        “Okay.”

        “Okay… How are you doing?”

        “I’m well,” Celestia laughs. “How are you?”

        “I-I’m fine, but I meant more like ‘how have you been?’ I… haven’t seen you in a long time, I haven’t asked how you were doing in months.”

        “Well…” she breathes. “I’m a lot better now, I can say that. It’s been a long couple months. But… it’s not something I haven’t done before, I’ve fought many wars… Only difference is that now I have you. So, very stressful. Now that you’re back, life will be a lot easier.”

        “So you’ve been stressed?”

        “I’m always stressed. It’s a mystery to me as to why mine and Luna’s manes haven’t turned gray by now. I deal with it a lot better these days; there aren’t many things in life I haven’t done. With more life experience comes less anxiety.”

        “So you’re still stressed?” you ask, as she hasn’t said otherwise.

        “Of course. I run a country and it’s at war. I’ll always be stressed for one reason or another, but I hide it pretty well.”

        “Unfortunately you do.”

        “There’s no changing that. You not being around was scaring me, but now that you’re back and getting healthy... it’s one less thing I have to worry about. I just take things as they come.”

        That she does. She doesn’t seem to put a lot of preparation into most things. It’s amazing how she’ll occasionally have some ancient enemy from like 1,000 years ago just pop up and attack her, and she’s all like “wtf?”

        Like, how could you not see that coming? Shouldn’t you plan ahead for some of these things? You have centuries to do so, but it still manages to come as a surprise.

        However, even without her forethought, she still wins. There hasn’t been an enemy yet who has completely defeated her. If someone had, Celestia wouldn’t still be running an empire.

        “But really, I’m fine,” Celestia claims. You assume she’s telling the truth as she usually does. “How have you been feeling? Stressed at all?”

        “Well, sure,” you respond. “How could I not be? There’s a bunch of shit going on these days. I don’t have the life experience that you do. These past few years have been the most bizarre experiences of my imagination.”

        “I bet.”

        “I never would’ve imagined… anything like this happening, you know? Getting thrown into a world of talking ponies? Done that. Fall in love with the ruler of said ponies? Done that. Fight in a miniature pony war, which isn’t nearly as fun as it seems? Done that. Get shot three times? Done that too. So yeah, I guess I’ve been stressed for a while.”

        “You do a pretty good job at hiding too.”

        “I’ve been trying to. No sense in just freaking out all the time. I’m trying my best not to worry you.”

        “Keep trying, you’re not doing a good job.”

“Like you said, it’s best to deal with shit as it pops up.”

        “I think it’s pretty sound advice.”

        “How about everypony else? I’ve been in the hospital for a while now, but you’re the only one to visit me. How’s Luna and Cadence and the rest of them doing?”

        “Busy, very busy.” Your Princess sighs, sounding exhausted. “We’ve all been running around; lots to do. It’s times like these I’m glad there’s more than one Princess. I used to do all this crap by myself.”

        You chuckle a bit. When you first met Celestia, she didn’t seem to be the type of pony to casually use words like ‘crap’ in a sentence; she was more proper than that. Maybe you’re rubbing off on her. It’s just funny to hear her say that.

        “It’s easier now than it used to be; it allows me to be here with you, so I’m thankful for that. As for why nopony has visited, it’s because I haven’t allowed anypony to.”

        “Oh?”

        “Mm-hmm. I don’t want anypony in here with you except your doctor and myself; I don’t want ponies in and out of here all day. You need your rest, and even with just me in here you’re barely getting any.”

        “If you leave me alone in here I swear I’ll try escaping.”

        “I know, I know, which is why I’m still here, don’t worry.”

        You’re serious about the escape attempt thing. If you had to be alone in a hospital… again… you’d do what you tried the first time, which is escaping. And with you in this relatively better condition, you’d succeed.

        The first attempt almost worked, and that was when you were on so many drugs that you couldn’t see straight. Now you’re on slightly less and have one good leg, so getting out here would be relatively simpler.

        Celestia continues. “That’s why nopony else needs to be here. There’s enough ponies outside with cameras already, you don’t need a bigger crowd.”

        “Who’s outside?”

        “Paparazzi kinda guys. They want a picture of your injuries. Some places are offering a lot of money for a picture of you.”

        “Oh. They’re still here?”

        “Still here. Doesn’t look like they’ll be leaving anytime soon either. I don’t want them in here, I don’t want them talking to you. With all the gossip going around these days, the last thing I want to do is add to it in any way whatsoever. It’s just gotten ridiculous.”

        Speaking of gossip…

        You saw a newspaper article a little while ago about Celestia and… some other guy. A mystery stallion.

        He was a handsome guy, you’ll admit it. And just seeing that picture almost gave you a heart attack. You think you have a right to know who that was. Celestia still hasn’t told you.

        “Speaking of gossip,” you begin, and Celestia looks at you like she already knows where this is going. “Who is this mystery stallion of yours?”

        Celestia rolls her eyes so hard you see nothing but the whites of her eyes for a few moments. If she rolled them any harder they would’ve gone up to the top of her eye socket and come out the bottom.

        “He is my new political advisor,” she says dryly.

        You don’t say anything. You remember her old political advisor; some old guy… what was his name? Kielbasa?

        Something like that.

        You can’t remember off the top of your head, but he was a genuine asshole. He didn’t like you from the start. Celestia getting rid of him was one of the happiest moments of your life.

        Now she got another one. You’re not happy.

        “You don’t appear pleased,” she observes.

        “I’m not,” you pout like a child. “I’m really not.”

        “I know what the article said, it was just stupid gossip. These things-”

        “It’s not that,” you cut her off. “I know you aren’t seeing anybody else now, I know that. Why do you need a new political advisor? Honestly, why?”

        “Because, in large part thanks to you, I didn’t have one.”

        “Why do you need one? What sort of valuable insight does this guy have that you need? Does he have some life experience that you don’t? ‘Cause I doubt it.”

        “You don’t sound happy.”

        “I’m not even close to being happy.”

        “Are you mad at me?”

        You take a deep breath. “No, of course I’m not. I know you know what you’re doing. But… just why? Why? Honestly, why? The last guy you had advising you was a douchebag.”

        “Mr. Kiusa was just doing his job. He was always wary of new things, and I let him go when he crossed the line. This new guy is nothing like him. He’s the exact opposite, if anything.”

        “How am I supposed to know that?”

        “I’ll let you meet him, yourself. How does that sound? If you don’t like him, I’ll fire him.”

        “No you won’t.”

        “I won’t because I know you’ll like him. He’s smart, he offers a new perspective, and I need somepony by my side to keep me politically engaged.”

        “Ugh! Why? Why don’t you give him to Luna or something?”

        “Luna doesn’t work well with others.”

        “Cadence, then.”

        “She doesn’t want an advisor.”

        “Then why do you?”

        “I have more responsibilities than she does. I need a political advisor. Don’t be a baby. I know you didn’t like Kiusa, I know that, but you can’t just assume that all political advisors want to control me and get rid of you.”

        “It happened, so I can assume that and I do.”

        She rolls her eyes again. “Do you want to meet him? Yes or no?”

        “Uh, hell yeah I want to meet him. If this guy is so great that you’re hiring him to be one of the most powerful people in the country and that ponies across Equestria think you’re screwing him, fuck yeah I want to meet him.”

        Celestia’s face turns a little red as she looks disapprovingly down upon you. “Watch it. You’re very frustrating sometimes, you know that? A mare with less patience would tell you do deal with it, but I’m refraining from profanity and staying calm. If you want to meet him, then fine. I will introduce you.”

        “Now?”

        “No, not now. Have you listened to anything I’ve said?”

        “Yes, believe it or not I’m listening. I just don’t like this.”

        “I see that.”

        “I’m going to be thinking about this all week unless I meet the guy. So let me meet him so I can tell him to his face that I don’t like him.”

        “I’m not doing that.”

        “Why?”

        “Seriously? I’m not bringing a friend of mine here so that you can yell at him for literally no reason.”

        “So he’s a ‘friend’ now, huh?”

        “For the love of-... Yes, I have friends other than you. He has become one of them. I strongly suggest you choose your next words carefully.”

        She’s mad. It’s a solid mixture of anger and frustration and it’s written all over her pretty white face. Her purple eyes are slightly narrowed at you, her ears are folded back, and she’s looking down at you, having had enough of your insolence.

        You can’t help yourself. You’re mad. The biggest problem you have is that you don’t and never really have seen Celestia as a Princess; as somepony in charge of you.

        For example, if you met the President of the United States face to face, you’d be a little intimidated and control yourself a lot better. Equestrians react the same way when they’re around Celestia.

        But you don’t. She’s not your ruler, she’s never proclaimed herself to have authority over you. It’s great because it’s that kind of attitude that actually lead you to being okay with asking her out and dating her in the first place.

        It’s bad because you talk to her like she isn’t an all powerful wizard goddess that rules an empire and can destroy you with a thought.

Even though she’s mad at you, you need to show her how you feel. Has she forgotten as to why you hated her old political advisor? Of all the ponies in the world, you hate him the most.

        Well, he’s top 3 in your most hated list. He’s higher than Blueblood.

        You don’t really ‘hate’ Blueblood, though. He’s just annoying as shit, if anything. No reason to hate him. He never tried to keep you and Celestia from each other. He didn’t denounce you.

        But somepony did. And who would that pony be? Mr. Kiusa: Celestia’s old advisor. He never liked you, you never liked him. You think he got a little power hungry and overstepped his boundaries.

        Why should this guy be any different? If this guy sees an opportunity to get more power than what Celestia has already given him, what makes you think he won’t take it?

        The first time you saw the guy was in a newspaper with your girlfriend. The press seemed to think they were getting it on.

        Why? Did the press forget you existed? Why would the press immediately assume this guy was getting with Celestia? Like, what the fuck. Did they have a reason to make up and print that dumbass story that you had the displeasure of reading miles away from your beloved? Was it a joke?

        You want to find who printed that article, cut off their legs, and make them roll around everywhere like an unwanted hot dog. The stress and anxiety and depression and trouble that article caused helped literally no one.

        Sometimes ‘freedom of the press’ makes you sick.

        “I don’t mean to doubt you,” you say, after a thought, not wanting to piss Celestia off even more. “But do you see why I’m not okay with your decision?”

        “I do... but you’re wrong, so I’m not changing my mind. You’re generalizing everypony in my government because you don’t like some of them.”

        That’s true, you hate ‘em. Mostly, anyways.

        “You haven’t even met the stallion.”

        “I know I haven’t. Do you know the first place I saw him?”

        “You actually saw him?”

        “I saw a picture of him in the newspaper. Him and you.”

        “And the headline was ‘Mystery Stallion,’ or something. I know, I saw it.”

        “I saw that the day before my battle. It’s amazing I didn’t die of a heart attack right there. The thought that you moved on almost immediately after I left crushed me.”

        “I didn’t move on.”

        “Yeah, I know that now, but I didn’t then.”

        “Are you blaming me for something?”

        “No. But you gotta see this from my perspective.”

“I am! The first time you saw this guy was in a picture implying that I was sleeping with him. Correct?”

        “Y-Yes.”

        “I know that must’ve been upsetting, to say the least. I know how that must have made you feel. But now you know that I’m not seeing him in that way, and I never will. I hired him to advise me politically. I’ll see him when I work, at an occasional party, nothing more. He is my subordinate, not my love interest. I’m not that desperate to get laid. I didn’t write that article, he didn’t write that article. You’re blaming the wrong ponies.”

        She’s right again. You know that in the back of your mind, but you’re feeling too stubborn to submit. You haven’t been right in an argument with her all day and it’s making you upset.

        “Fine,” you concede, upset. “Hire who you want, you’re the Princess, you make the calls. But I don’t want to meet him anymore. I don’t want see him or talk to him or anything.”

“I know you have a bad taste in your mouth because of Kiusa, but he was rare. Most ponies do their job and think twice about what they tell me to do. He didn’t, so he’s gone. I can’t remember the last time somepony did something like that. It’s been a while since I’ve had an advisor, and I need one now more than I have in… hundreds of years. I need somepony to work for me, but I also need you to give him a chance.”

        “It doesn’t matter if I like him or not, he’s not advising me.”

        “It does matter,” she says, touching your hand with a golden shoed hoof. “I want you to like him. There’s no reason for you two to not get along. He really is a nice guy. He didn’t have anymore to do with the newspaper article than I did; it was just gossip. Stupid gossip. I really want you to meet him.”

        “But why?” you groan.

        “I think you’ll become good friends. He’s a good guy. I like him. Is that not enough of a reason for you to want to meet him?”

        “No,” you pout.

        “There’s no reason for you not to like him. If you want to hate somepony, hate whoever printed that article.”

        “I do. I really do.”

        “Good. Now stop hating my new advisor. He’s done nothing to you. He’s smart, he’s funny, you’ll get along great.”

        “Celestia, it doesn’t matter if we like each other.”

        “It really does. He needs to feel comfortable around me to do his job properly. And he won’t feel comfortable around me if you don’t like him.”

        “If you want me to get along with him, then fine. I’ll be his best fucking friend.”

        “I never said you had to get along with him. That choice is completely up to you. What I’m asking you to do is give him a chance. That’s all. I really think you’ll like him. Please, baby, when have I ever asked you to do something like this?”

        For God’s sake she’s not letting up. Knowing her, she’s not going to either until you submit. That’s how she works.

        She doesn’t stop until she gets what she wants. She’s a pony but she’s like a shark.

        “Fine, fine, fine,” you say. “Fine, fine, fine. I’ll meet him, whatever. Let’s just do it. Bring him in.”

        “I didn’t mean he was coming over right now.”

        “Okay, so just… summon him here.”

        “Do you not remember our earlier conversation? I don’t want anypony but me and a doctor in here with you.”

        “Yeah, but I’m not going to stop thinking about this guy until I meet him, I need to meet him.”

        “Still don’t think that’s a good idea.”

        “If he’s half as nice and obedient and intelligent as you make him sound, then this’ll be no big deal. Just bring him in, he can introduce himself, he can leave. I can’t stand having not met this guy, it’s going to drive me insane.”

        Celestia takes a deep breath, which tells you that she’s at least thinking about what you requested.

        “Please?”

        She licks her lips.

        “Pretty please?”

        “Fine… But for only one minute. 60 seconds. No, 30 seconds. I’ll be timing. Then he leaves and you go back to sleep. Got it?”

        “Got it.”

        “Good.”

        Celestia stands and walks towards the door. Meanwhile, you sit back and stare at her. How you’ve missed her.

        And that ass. It’s gotten bigger, you think. The sun has definitely gotten bigger. Maybe she’s been stress eating.

        She sure does love her sweets. That’s the first real thing you ever learned about her.

        She can put away donuts like nobody else. But that’s nothing compared to how she eats strawberry cake. She’s really got a weakness for strawberry flavored anything.

        Except strawberries themselves, really. You don’t know why.

        You’ll talk to her about her butt later. Now’s not the best time. Or place.

        She opens the door, pokes her head out for a moment, then closes the door and walks back over to you.

        “Don’t act like you weren’t checking me out,” she says.

        “I think those days are over,” you respond, running your eyes freely over her body. “Most of my time and effort used to go into not getting caught but now I don’t care.”

        “I know. I still knew you were doing it. Everypony thinks they’re so sneaky, but I can see you. Now go to sleep.”

        “Sleep? But that guy-”

        “Is coming over in a bit. It’ll be a little while, so sleep now.”

        “I-”

        “Sleep or I’ll make you sleep.”

        “You gonna hit me?”

        “Right in the nose.” She pretends to bop you on the nose with a hoof.

        “Fine,” you pout, settling in and closing your eyes.

        Even though you actually do try, you can’t sleep. You’re just lost with your thoughts, wondering what this guy is going to be like.

==========

        A series of knocks emanate from the door, causing you to open your eyes.

        “That’s him,” Celestia announces. “Wake up - Oh, you’re already awake. Good. Are you ready?”

        “Shit yeah I’m ready,” you say sitting up a bit. You’re more than ready for this. This guy just needs to give you one excuse for you to jump out of your bed and go at him.

        “Calm down. You’re not going to fight him.”

        “No promises.”

        “At least pretend to try to like him. First impressions. I don’t want you to think he’s an ass and I don’t want him to think you’re an ass. It goes both ways here.”

        “Who’s opinion is more important?”

        “Yours, of course.”

        “Damn right. Let’s do this.” You fixate your eyes on the door, preparing yourself.

        “I’m serious. Don’t be an ass.”

        Without getting up, Celestia magically opens the door, and in walks a single stallion. This stallion is a unicorn, has blond hair, a white coat, and a quill and ink jar as a cutie mark, you immediately note.

        Yep. He’s the guy from the infamous picture.

        What a douchebag.

        Neither you nor Celestia move or say anything as he closes the door behind him and approaches the foot of your bed.

        As the stallion approaches, he pauses and takes a deep bow, his head going all the way down to the floor while the rest of his body stays where it is.

        Wait a minute, you don’t even know the mother fucker’s name. No one told you his name. Celestia didn’t even mention it.

        “Thank you for having me, Princess Celestia,” he begins. He has a nice voice, you’ll give him that. “I am honored to finally make your acquaintance, Lieutenant,” he says. Saying your full name.

        Well… he called you ‘Lieutenant.’ As someone who has earned that position, you enjoy when you are addressed that way. He’s off to a good start.

        But you still don’t like him, so you don’t say anything.

        “You may stand, Quincy,” Celestia says, seeing that you’re not going to say anything. “Thank you for coming on short notice.”

        “Of course, Princess. I’m at your command.” He stands up nice and straight and remains at his place at the foot of your bed.

        So his name is ‘Quincy.’ Interesting…

        Well, it actually isn’t interesting whatsoever, but at least you know the bastards name now.

        Celestia says your name, getting your attention. “This is Quincy Quillton. His ancestor, Quilty, invented the quill many centuries ago. I met him on several occasions, he was a very intelligent stallion, just like Quincy here.”

        “Oh, please, you are much too kind, Princess. I merely hope I can live up to the expectations that have been put upon me.”

        You still don’t say anything. You’re too upset to say anything honestly. Doesn’t matter who wrote the article, you still don’t like this guy.

        You don’t like his face, you don’t like his hair, you don’t like him.

        “How are you feeling, sir?” Quincy asks.

        “Fine.”

        There is a long pause in the conversation as nopony knows what to say, which was the result you were hoping for. The more awkward the meeting, the better.

        The only sound is the intermittent beeping of your heart monitor, showing that you’re still alive.

        After a moment, Quincy coughs.

        “Forgive me if I appear nervous,” he clears his throat. “Ever since that newspaper article was published I’ve been anxious to meet you. I was hoping our first meeting wouldn’t be awkward… and I hoped you didn’t believe anything the article said. I was hoping you wouldn’t see it all, actually, so we could just avoid this whole situation. It was all fabrication, and made my move to Canterlot very… well, awkward, for everypony.”

        “It was a strange time for us all,” Celestia says. “That’s just the kind of stuff you have to deal with as a politician. But do not worry over the article, Quincy. We have gotten over that a long time ago. Right, dear?”

        Celestia uses her magic to give your ear a mean flick, having had enough of you acting like a baby.

        “Ah, yes,” you say, rubbing your ear. Celestia was so quick with that move that you didn’t even see her horn light up, but she’s looking down at you menacingly, so you know she did it. “We’ve gotten over it a long time ago. Water... under the bridge.”

        “Good,” Celestia says. “Time’s up. Thank you for dropping in Quincy, it is much appreciated, but we have a lot of work to get back to.”

        “You’re very welcome, Your Majesty,” he bows again. “Thank you for having me. It was an honor meeting you, sir,” he says with a big smile, showing off his impeccable white teeth before another bow. “I hope we get to know each other very well and I wish you a speedy recovery.”

        You don’t say anything again. Instead, you choose just to watch him turn, walk out the door, and leave.

        You can hardly bring yourself to look at Celestia. You know she’s giving one of those ‘told you so’ sorta looks.

        Turning to look at her, you find that you are exactly correct.

        “Well?” Celestia asks, looking down at you with a smile.

        “He seemed nice,” you admit.

        “See?” Celestia smiles over confidently. “I’m always right. He was perfectly pleasant despite you acting like a petulant foal.”

        You roll your eyes, not arguing with that comment. “He speaks well.”

        “Very well. He’s an intelligent guy.”

        “Where’d you meet him?”

        “I was introduced to him by the President of Hoofvard University. Quincy studied law, political science, and psychology. He graduated top of his class a few years ago and became a lawyer. He was going to run for mayor, and he definitely would’ve won, but I hired him.”

        “Why him?”

        “He’s very well educated, very smart, and he has a good temperament. If a pony disagrees with somepony long enough then eventually they’ll get frustrated and start shouting and fighting. I was impressed that no matter how many times someone disagreed, he kept his composure and simply gave his opinion.

“Here’s what impressed me most, though. I was watching him and another lawyer debate opening Equestria’s borders to increase trade; it wasn’t an official debate, just talk amongst friends. Quincy was for it, the other pony was against it. They argued and debated facts and after about a half hour or 45 minutes, Quincy composed himself, thought for a moment, and conceded that his opponent was correct and that he was wrong. That is what impressed me. He has the ability to actually listen to somepony else’s point of view and allow it to change his own. Most ponies become so entrenched in their own ideas that, no matter how much debating is done, they’ll never change their opinions. He allowed himself to look from a different point of view and completely change what he believes, and that is one of the hardest things for anypony to do. He isn’t afraid to be wrong. That’s the kind of pony I want to help run my country.”

        Well, that is an excellent point. A lot of people just hear what they want to hear, and even if they’re wrong, they won’t budge. But that in itself doesn’t make him qualified for the job. But, like Celestia said, he is very well educated.

        “It takes more effort to look at yourself and think you may be mistaken than for you to look at somepony else. It’s easy to say ‘I’m right, you’re wrong,’ it’s hard to say ‘You’re right, I’m wrong.’ Ponies that can do that should be in power, not the other way around.”

        “That is a good point, Celestia.”

        “I have confidence that, with his help, Equestria will continue to prosper. I expect nothing less.”

        “How old is he?”

        “Hmm… Probably around 25.”

        “That’s pretty young to have that kind of power.”

        “It’s very young to have that kind of power. I was around that age when Luna and I founded Equestria. These first few years for him will be a tremendous learning experience, as it was for me, but the only way anypony learns anything is through doing. He’s a bright guy; in a few years he’ll be wise enough and ready to start his own country.”

“What if he tries doing that?”

“Tries doing what? Starting his own country?”

“Yeah.”

“I wish him luck, it’s harder than most ponies think.”

“What if he tries overthrowing you?”

“Pfft!” Celestia laughs. “He would fail. But he won’t try anything like that. He has a great record. He’s not a troublemaker, he’s never broken any law, he had perfect attendance at Hoofvard and at his high school, he claims to have never had a sip of alcohol in his life and I believe him, and all of his friends and everypony associated with him also have pristine records and are upstanding citizens. There is absolutely no reason to feel threatened by him.”

        “I was just wondering.”

        “It’s good to wonder, but he checks out. I did my research before I hired him. Do you feel better now that you met him?”

        “A little, I guess.”

        “See? Admitting you were mistaken is a difficult process.”

        “Yeah, yeah,” you pout, hating to be wrong, but you’re working on it. Maybe this Quincy guy will turn out all right after all.

        “I love you,” Celestia says, kissing your cheek. “Now go to sleep.”

        “Wait, I’m not done yet.”

        “Yes you are. I got him, 30 seconds have gone by, he left, now you go to sleep. Done deal.”

        “I just got a few more questions.”

        “Can’t they wait until later?”

        “I just want to ask them while I’m thinking about it. I said I had a few questions and the only one I’ve asked is how you were doing.”

        “Yes, and that one question turned into a half an hour of a conversation. As much as I love and appreciate you wondering how I’m doing, I need to make sure you get better. You need to go back to sleep.”

        “Just a few more,” you request. “I’m not going back to sleep until I ask these questions.”

        “Fine,” she sighs, conceding. “Ask away.”

        “Thank you… Well…”

        You don’t even know how to turn the conversation into the direction you want it to be going. There are a few questions you have about the military you want to ask, but it just feels awkward to try to bring it up.

        But you have to do it. It’s been nagging at you.

        “How’s my Century doing?” you ask. “Have you heard anything?”

        “I don’t know off the top of my head the exact number of casualties, but I know they were… relatively small. Relatively small.”

        You’re not sure if you should feel relieved at all. That information tells you just about nothing.

        “Protecting the left wing in battle is a tremendous responsibility, but you and your Century held firm, I know that much is true. It was a decisive victory for us, and the Destrierians have been on the run ever since. We’re chasing them north, trying to force them out of Equestria.”

        “So the army’s doing well then?”

        “I’d say so,” she nods. “General Maximus is a smart stallion, he knows what he’s doing. The Destrierians don’t look fully prepared for a war; they haven’t won a battle yet and it doesn’t appear they will anytime soon, knock on wood. I hope this whole thing will be over in just a few more months.”

        “That fast?”

        “It’ll depend. Once we force out the Destrierians from Equestria, I’ll consider negotiating. If nothing comes from it, I’ll invade their homeland. It’s nothing I haven’t done before. Ideally, they’ll be smart when negotiating and end the war. All I want is King Belmont and Queen Preakness. I’ll get them one way or another.”

        Well, it’s good that she seems to know what she’s doing. “Have you heard anything about Mace or Sherman? I want to know how my Century is doing if I can’t be there.”

“Your friends? I don’t know. With all that’s been going on recently I didn’t even think to ask. But I can find out in a couple days.”

        She turns away for a moment to scribble something down on a piece of paper before turning back to you.

        “Anything else?” she asks.

        “This whole thing started because the Destrierians wanted the Elements of Harmony.”

        “Correct.”

        “How are Twilight and the rest of them then? If this whole thing started because of them I wouldn’t think they’d be too pleased.”

        “Oh! I didn’t tell you? I must’ve forgotten. Twilight and her friends are all in Canterlot. They’ll be staying here where I can keep an eye on them for a while. They’ve been here for weeks.”

        “They’re here?”

        “Mm-hmm. But I won’t allow them to visit you yet. They want to, though. They’ve been asking about you. You’re right, they haven’t been their usual cheerful selves these past few weeks, but they’re okay. They hate being cooped up in the city, with the exception of Rarity. I can’t let them leave yet, though. It’s for everyone’s safety.”

        “Yeah I understand. At least they’re safe, that’s what matters.”

        “Exactly.”

        “...I guess that’s it. That’s all I can think of right now.”

        “Good then. Now go to sleep. If the doctor knew I’ve been keeping you up as much as I have he’d kick me out.”

        “I’d like to see him try,” you say, nestling yourself in, trying to get comfortable.

        Hospital beds have never been your favorite surface, but you seem to be on them quite a bit. Worst part about it that you don’t fit on any bed in this world unless you’re sharing it with Celestia.

        Everything is just… miniature. It’d be adorable if it wasn’t so inconvenient.

        At the foot of your bed is a table with some cushions on it to support your calves and feet. It’s not comfortable, but you’re not complaining; not outwardly, anyway. No sense in it. You live with the cards you’re dealt.

        “I have one last question, actually,” you say, getting Celestia’s attention back once more.

        “Ask away.”

        “Am I a coward?”

        Celestia’s smile falls as she continues to look at you, that question certainly surprising her. “A coward? Of course not! Why would you think such a thing?”

        “It’s… There’s a whole war going on right now. There are guys still out there who probably have worse injuries than me, but they’re still out there. Meanwhile, the second I get hurt I get taken away to a nice warm hospital with a Princess by my bedside.”

        You take a deep breath.

        “I just don’t feel right being here while my soldiers are still out there… I feel like shit.”

        “You stop that right now,” she demands, sounding serious. “Don’t you ever feel like a coward. You were on the frontlines of battle, knowing full well you could die at any moment, but that didn’t stop you from fighting.”

        “But all those guys who died-”

“Would you feel better if you were dead?”

        “Well, n-no, I-”

        “Exactly. The ponies who feel the best after a battle are the one’s who died. They’re not called cowards. They don’t have to fight anymore. But is it worth it? No. It’s cowardice if you didn’t do your part. You’ve done more than your part. I’ve read the after action reports; you are most certainly not a coward. I don’t want you to think that ever again.”

        Well, that makes you feel a bit better. There’s just that one nagging voice in the back of your head that’s… making you feel like you fucked up. Like you got the easy way out. That’s not respectable. That’s cowardice.

        “I wasn’t going to tell you this until later,” Celestia sighs.

        “Tell me what?” you ask interestedly.

        “I read the reports from the battle. I read that you and your Century rescued a downed gryphon from behind Destrierian lines. It was a very well executed move, from what Captain Sparrow wrote.”

        Yep, you did that.

        “Well, that gryphon was Olga Ozios, the beloved niece of King Ozios the Great.”

        “...Seriously?”

        “Seriously. King Ozios was so overjoyed she was saved that you’re being awarded a medal from the Twin Gryphon Kingdoms for bravery and valor.”

        “You’re making this up.”

        “Why would I make any of that up? That little stunt of yours made King Ozios and I best friends. He feels indebted to me, if you can believe that.”

        “I don’t. That’s all too convenient to be true.”

        “Perhaps, but it’s true. King Ozios has a large family, you were bound to run into one of them at some point. You will receive it from their ambassador to Equestria whenever I say you’re healthy enough for the ceremony.”

        That’s… incredible…

        You’re getting a medal... for bravery?

        You don’t even know what to think. You never expected to get a medal for anything. You were just doing what you were doing.

        “Wow…”

        You can’t say anything. You still can’t tell if Celestia is telling the truth.

        “You are not a coward,” Celestia whispers, nuzzling your cheek. “You’re a hero. The gryphons think so. I think so. You’re a hero. Never think otherwise.”

        That’s an odd thought. It’s been a long day, huh?

        You think you’re going to throw up.

        “Don’t throw up!” Celestia says, levitating a trash bin in front of you. “Just relax, now. Close your eyes, go to sleep.”

        “Wait, one last question.”

        “No, no, no, relax and go to sleep before you get sick all over the place.”

        “I-I’m fine. Please, just one more. It’ll be a quick one.”

        “You said the last question was your last question.”

        “I lied. This is my last one.”

        “...Fine. Quickly, quickly.”

        You take a deep breath.

        “Why didn’t you want to have that discussion with me?” you ask. “Sure, it took all afternoon, but it was really good. I’m glad we had it.”

        “Because you have a short temper,” Celestia claims. “I didn’t want you to get angry and curse at me.”

        “What? When would I ever curse at you?”

        She shrugs. “I was just afraid you would. I’d rather us talk about and continue our relationship than to talk about it, fight, and watch as it crumbles… But… Now that we did it, and it’s over, I can say I’m glad we did it. It’s best to move on.”

        “Glad you see it my way.”

        “I do.”

        “It’s hard to admit when you’re wrong.”

        “Don’t push it.”

        “I love you, baby,” you chuckle with outstretched arms, and Celestia finally puts the trash bin back on the floor.

        Celestia leans in, allowing you to wrap her up as best as you can. Her fur is as soft and silky smooth as ever… You’ve missed that feeling.

        And she smells like vanilla… It’s delicious. She just smells like beauty.

        “I love you too,” she says, kissing your forehead. “Now, go to sleep.”