The Pastry Affair (Part I) and the Question of Townships
The Nineteenth Century: The Saga of Equestria
November 30, 1838
Canterlot, Equestria
“What is happening?” asked Celestia, running through the door. “Damn it, I leave Equestria for one event…”
“Glad to see you, too, sister,” smiled Luna. Returning to business, she said, “I have received word from our Mexican ambassador. It appears that Mexico angered the wrong person. Three days ago, French warships opened fire on the Mexican city of Veracruz.”
“Why? What justification do they have?”
“An amazing one,” Twilight said. “Apparently, some pastry baker has claimed damages against the Mexican government for an incident that occurred back in 1828. In response, the French government demanded payment in the amount of six hundred thousand pesos to cover the citizen’s claims, along with the repayment of a few loans. Mexico refused, and here we are.”
“A lot of money, that is. But what is France trying to get out of it? The money? Or maybe something else?”
“I don’t know, but we should act,” said Twilight.
“And what do you propose we do? France is a Great Power, and has a perfectly legal, if somewhat distasteful reason, to demand satisfaction against Mexico.”
“Perhaps. But think of this opportunity! We have a good way to solidify friendly relations with Mexico here. In addition, and maybe more importantly, we can boost our prestige by standing up to a Great Power, and get the other Latin American nations on our side. We don’t have to declare war or anything so dramatic. Rather, we simply must send a letter to France; an official diplomatic message, asking them to not blow the situation out of proportion, and perhaps offer to mediate a dispute. No grandstanding beyond that is necessary.”
“And if they refuse?”
“Then we send a small military detachment - no more than a thousand, if that - down to Mexico, to ‘observe.’ They will be ordered to not fight unless attacked, and they shall lend humanitarian aid to the fighting. Such actions should not draw the ire of the French, but will be of great assistance to the Mexican people.”
Celestia nodded, pleased with the resourcefulness Twilight was showing. “I think that sounds like a great idea. All in favor?”
All four Princesses voted in favor.
“Excellent one, sister,” complimented Cadance.
Text of the Official Diplomatic Dispatch to France from Equestria
Your Most Christian King, Louis Philippe the First,
It has come to the attention of this Royal Council that your government has attacked the Republic of México, demanding a payment in the amount of six hundred thousand Mexican pesos. The Equestrian Royal Council urges you and your government to not allow inflamed passions and national pride to cloud logic. Make no mistake, the Royal Council recognizes the fact that your government possess valid claims. However, consider the fact that forcing the government of México to pay through military force may just cost more than it is worth. Also, the government of México is going through difficult political and social issues. Their difficulties may severely impair their ability to pay any restitution forced upon them by a bayonet. We urge you to consider these facts. Should your government tire of this war, the Principality of Equestria is willing to offer an unbiased perspective and mediate discussions between your two countries.
With regards,
The Serene Majesties of Equestrian Royal Council, whose signatures are attached below.
Princess Celestia
Princess Luna
Princess Mi Amore Cadenza
Princess Twilight Sparkle
(Signed November 30, 1838 by the Royal Council.
Received in the Court of Philippe on January 2, 1839)
“What the...who sent this?” asked Louis Philippe.
“The rulers of the Principality of Equestria,” said a nearby aid. “It shares a northern border with México. It’s that nation of horses.”
Text of the Official Diplomatic Dispatch from France to Equestria
Leaders of Equestria,
I will thank you to not interfere in the matters of my nation. France can handle herself perfectly fine, and we do not need your help. I suggest you focus on keeping marauding pirates of off your lands. After all, that does seem to be problem your nation has.
Louis Philippe
(Received by the Equestrian Royal Council on January 29, 1839)
“Well, that did not go as well as I had hoped,” said Twilight.
“No, but it went as well as we expected,” replied Celestia. “The humans still don’t take us seriously. It is regrettable, but was to be expected. Now, we should assemble that special force and dispatch it to Mexico.”
February 19, 1839
Canterlot, Equestria
“The presence of the Principality’s troops on Mexican territory is intolerable. It is inappropriate breach of Mexico’s territory sovereignty. It is clear that your forces are prepared to intervene on behalf of Mexico,” said the French ambassador to Equestria.
“Firstly, you have no evidence for the second charge. Secondly, if our actions are an illegal breach of Mexico’s sovereignty, someone should tell the Mexicans that. The government and military of Mexico have lodged no complaints with Equestria, France, or any other power. In fact, they have started coordinating humanitarian missions with our troops.” Celestia hesitated and said, in a more subdued tone, “With respect, I urge you to realize that we sent seven hundred troops. That is nowhere near the required amount to pose any substantial threat to your forces. Their sole mission is to provide humanitarian aid.”
“Hmm,” replied the ambassador.
February 21, 1839
Canterlot, Equestria
...Therefore, let it be known that the Communities of Earth Ponies hereby officially petitions the Equestrian Royal Council to re-establish the local townships. The ponies of Equestria wish to have a greater say in government. We are appreciative of the Princesses actions to protect Equestria. But the completion of the westernization process means that the centralization of the Equestrian government directly under the Princesses and their Magistrates is no longer necessary. We, the ponies of Equestria, call upon the Princesses to restore the townships to their prior status.
Signed,
(50 earth pony political leaders, mostly former mayors and other ponies of prominence)
“This is outrageous!”
“Silence, Chancellor Blueblood,” said Celestia. “Your seat on this Council is honorary, and you have both no say and no vote. If we want your opinion, we will ask for it.”
“These...this is an unacceptable insult!” plowed on former-Prince, now-Chancellor Blueblood. “These earth ponies are attacking both the Royal Court and the Royal Council! They-”
“Chancellor of the Royal Court! I order you to still your tongue!” snapped Celestia. “Do it, or we’ll kick you off of the Council.”
The other Princesses nodded, apparently sick of Blueblood already.
Blueblood subsided, muttering angrily.
“Thank you. Now, a faction of the ponies, apparently, want their local governments. I, personally, am not sure we should return them.”
“Why not?” asked Cadance. “They have a point: westernization is complete. As such, we no longer need the authority to force through the reforms.”
“Cadance is correct,” said Luna. “Also, I have heard that a few of our Regional and Provincial Magistrates have started to abuse their power. There are accusations that Magistrate of Baltimare has been skimming off the top of the budget. The Regional Magistrate of Northern Equestria, Gold Moon, is rumored to have been using her prestige to start sleeping around outside her marriage. That wouldn’t be a problem, if it wasn’t for the fact that she is married.”
“If I may, Princess?” asked Chancellor Blueblood, somewhat more meekely than usual.
Celestia nodded.
“Thank you. I wish to offer a different point of view. I submit that reason Equestria is strong right now is because you abolished the townships. If we were to restore them, the progress that Equestria has made will be in threatened. The common ponies may want to reverse other reforms! No, I think this Council should ignore this petition, and maybe even make sure this kind of dissension is not tolerated in the future. Maybe by banning public meetings?”
All members of the Council recoiled. “No. I refuse to turn Equestria into a police state just to protect it,” said Celestia. “That being said, I am skeptical of the idea to return the townships. We can root out and dismiss the few bad apples in the administration. But consider this: as it stands, we are literally balancing on a knife-edge. One misstep, and the United States will come crashing down on us. They may even declare war, even if we don’t aggravate them! But should push come to shove, we cannot afford levels of redundancy like that in our government. Our entire plan for a theoretical war with the United States is contingent on us having total and undisputed control of every part of the government.” She saw both Twilight and Cadance wavering, and decided to ram the point in. “If the situation wasn’t so dangerous, then maybe we could consider this petition. But we cannot risk it.”
Leaning back, she said, “I move to dismiss this petition. I also move to conduct an investigation into our Royal Magistrates and correct any wrongdoing.”
Twilight and Cadance joined Celestia and voted for the motion. Luna did not.
February 28, 1839
Near Mexico City, Mexico
“FIRE!!!” BANG!
The hills echoed with the sound of gunfire. The French troops were apparently advancing.
The Mexicans can’t hold much longer, thought Lieutenant Quill, commanding officer of the Equestrian Army of Observation. He was the pegasus tasked with providing humanitarian aid to the struggling Mexican republic. Privately, he was also very much a Mexican sympathizer, and was desperately looking for an excuse to lend aid to them.
Not that the Princesses knew that, of course, when they assigned him to lead the company. They would have never appointed an open sympathizer to a company that was supposed to stay out of the fighting.
But here he was.
And here the course of history, already dramatically shifted, would change once again.