//------------------------------// // The Ballad of the Candy Horse // Story: The Ballad of Hearthswarming // by The Dimension Diver //------------------------------// Before the princess raised the sun Or Luna raised the moon, The candy colored ponies ran Across the dreamscape dune. Before Equestria was made Or Everfree was filled, The ponies played upon the world And shaped it how they willed. The pony folk were of three hearts Though all had equal worth: The unicorns with magic ply The heavens; and the pegasi Reined in the weather, and could fly; And ponies of the earth Stood down upon the barren ground And made it bud with fruit. They coaxed the trees from saplings and They nurtured bud and shoot. The three were all of seperate flag And all of different mind. They looked upon each other just To take what they could find. For Earth ponies could not have had Their crops had it not rained, Nor could they make the carrots grow If sunlight never waned. The Pegasi could never feed If food had never grown Nor build their houses out of clouds If sunshine always shone. The Unicorns in castles had A need for food and hire. They all agreed to raise the sun And then the moon about them spun. They used their magic all as one Telekinetic choir. It happened once upon a day As things quite often do, That Princess Platinum gazed down Upon her subjects with a frown And sighed and said, “I’m through! “These silly ponies grow their fruit Ungrateful as they are, And never give a handsome share To those who raise the star.” Now Platinum was royalty, The daughter long of kings: But she was but a unicorn And lacked the royal wings. “The time has come,” the princess cried, “That we should have our due! We do not raise the sun to starve While others chomp and chew!” To her assistant Clover, she Made known her new demand. But Clover simply shook her head And said, “They would not stand “To have this done to them. I beg You reconsider this! Your actions will affect not one, But all the folk beneath the sun.” Replied the princess, “See it done, Or you shall be dismissed.” As it was done, the Pegasi Looked down atop a cloud, And muttered all amongst themselves On whether that’s allowed. Their grim commander Hurricane Kept silent not a scosche “Why, this is just like Platinum To take without reproach! “She thinks that in her snobbish ways The Unicorns are best! That they can take all what they want And just upon request!” Now, Hurricane saw many wars And many had he won, And as a soldier to the core, He would not be outdone. “They take not into their regard,” The staunch commander fumed, “That it is we who bring the rain! ‘Tis we who act as evil’s bane! Why, if we did not fight or train, The others would be doomed. “So as to keep the order here And hierarchy high, We shall demand an equal share To be transported back with care To cities in the sky.” As all agreement passed around, A single private stood. She dusted out her wings and said “We cannot take their food. “The ponies work to make it grow, They work to make it fall. We cannot take their everything And leave them none at all!” Commander Hurricane replied With fire in his breath, “Your insubordination may Have you court martialed any day And that would spell your death. “Remember well your place with us, And I would let you stay. But, Private Pansy, one more word, And you will leave this noble herd And find your lonesome way.” Both Unicorns and Pegasi Went through with their demands For fruits - the product of the sun And rains and earth - which only an Earth Pony understands. It happened Chanc’lor Pudding Head Was in his office when Smart Cookie burst in with the news Of just what happened then. He called out “This is terrible!” And spat at him the sheets. “Good Chancellor, what will we do About these roguish cheats?” Quoth Pudding head, “So, they would take A hearty extra third? Do they not know that we are pressed To make enough when times are best? Now this is just absurd! “If they would like to be so fat Then let them grow their own! In fact, let’s cancel all our deals And give ‘em only orange peels So they can see how fun it feels To wane as thin as bone.” Smart Cookie shook his head and said, “But Sir, I must object: If we do that then you will see That we’re not bein’ neighborly And we will make an enemy As well as lose respect.” But Pudding Head just chuckled ‘till His sides were shaken sore. “It’s tactics, Cookie! When they’re thin Then they will all be settlin’ For less instead of more. “Besides,” the chancellor guffawed, “I’m in authority. While you are just a lowly scribe You cannot veto me.” But Cookie sighed and rolled his eyes. “We shall do as you say. I just don’t think it’s wise that we Should go about this way.” An apprehensive week ensued As troubles all arose Until beneath a silver moon A court was called and none too soon As how the story goes. A court was called and all the three Advanced from far and wide: The princess and the chancellor And the commander as it were All smirking smug and snide. And as the three assembled all Within the house of law, The princess was the first to speak For this was fit, she saw. “We Unicorns are regal, and We unicorns are weak. We find it as a crushing blow To cut us from the trading flow. Of orange peels we reek! “You cease your monthly tribute, even Though we always cared! Your bitterness reeks four times more Than I have yet declared.” Commander Hurricane spoke next, An ember in his eye: “Your Majesty, I may intrude, but it was you who was so rude To have your own take all the food And throw us all awry. “Why, if you had a mote of sense Asleep beneath your crown, You would have left things as they were And never let us down. “You would have left things all alone And things would all be well. But now I say the least of you Deserves that orange smell.” The chancellor with merriment Popped up his merry head. For of the three, ‘twas only he Who suitably was fed. Quoth he, “I see you all complain ‘Cause that is all you do. But if you all apologize I’ll make our deals come through. “So why don’t you two lend a hoof And sign these charters here. We’ll always have enough until We hit a famine year!” But Platinum turned up her nose. “Those charters may contain A lengthy set of binding rules. Would you care to explain? “I’ll never sign a document For an apology. It very easily could be A legal travesty.” The meeting never came to blows But never came to good. For all departed in the night Upon the corner of a fight And all about the food. Upon that night it happened, Although it started slow, The temperature began to drop, So frost appeared upon the crop, The wind blew hard and would not stop, And then there came the snow.