Having finished her lunch, Lyra put it's container back under the table and tossed the greasy wrapper in the wastebasket. A step up from yesterday. Three victory claps.
"And how was your visit to Fillydelphia?" she asked her after-lunch appointment.
"It went as well as was to be expected," the middle-aged woman said with a big grin. "The doctors were right, a change of scenery was just the right thing for my health."
Lyra wrote something down and nodded. "And how was the Department of Anthropology over there?"
The woman gave a small shrug. "I guess they were okay. But they kept consulting books and the sessions just seemed to drag on forever."
"Ugh," Lyra rolled her eyes in distaste. "I should have just given you a permission slip so you wouldn't even have to bother with them. They probably set your cultural adjustment back a month's work of progress."
"It wasn't that bad."
Lyra pointed an accusing hoof at her. "Don't you defend them, Alice. They they're taking their job too seriously, and ground our progress to a halt."
"I'm over most of the culture shock," Alice protested.
"Then why is your chest so much smaller than I remember," Lyra said with a huff.
Face turning red, Alice crossed her arms in front of her shirt and sulked. "Okay, fine. I wrapped my boobs in bandages to keep from being stared at like a cow on it's hindlegs."
Lyra sighed and shook her head. "It's not healthy for your breasts to be compressed like that for over-extended periods of time, Alice. That's how you get an early onset of cooper's droopers."
"At least they're not being stared at."
"The shear fact that your an alien from another dimension is reason enough for ponies to stare at you," Lyra cried out in exasperation. "Your mammary glands have very little to do with it in fact. Heck, I betcha they're wondering why they've seemed to have shrunk all of a sudden."
A light suddenly seemed to come on in Alice's head, and her face turned red as a beat. "Ooh. So that's what that stallion meant when he asked if Milky Way had a new business partner. I think I'm starting to get the picture."
Lyra's face suddenly turned red as well. "Well, that's not really what I was getting at. I was thinking more along the lines that maybe they thought you were in an accident." She rubbed the back of her head with a nervous smile on her face. "Leeet's just move on from this subject, okay? Alice?"
Alice nodded.
"Good. Just undo those bandages and remember, sports bras are for sports." She let out a polite cough and turned the page on her clipboard. Not seeing a viable subject there, she turned it again. "Ah. Why don't we discuss how your daycare job is going?"
"Oh, yes," Alice sighed in relief as she began unraveling the bandages from under her shirt. "It's been great. The kids... er... the foals are always really excited to see me."
"Both 'kids' and 'foals' work just fine," Lyra informed her. "So, no form of apprehension from the children, or other workers?"
Alice tossed the bandages in the wastebasket and leaned back on the couch. "Not that I can tell. In fact, it sometimes seems that the other workers are encouraging the kids to play or cuddle with me. I can apparently keep them busy for quite a while."
"And why not?" Lyra said aloud with a chuckle. "I don't know of one, er, two kids, who wouldn't want to hang out with a kindly alien. Plus, when they get tired, they get to cuddle up with someone who doesn't shed fur that gets in their mouths."
Alice giggled and looked down at her smooth skin. "It's actually a very nice atmosphere. I remember back on earth, you just about had to handle the kids with tongs and hazmat suits."
Lyra tilted her head to the side. "Come again?"
Alice groaned as she thought back. "One of the rules back home was that we were never to hug or show any form of affection to the children in the daycare or school systems."
Lyra was perplexed. "What? Pardon the expression, but that's inhumane. Children need affection. They need to know that adults are there for when they need them."
"That may be so," Alice said, frowning deeply. "But, if you did that, your license would be suspended, and you would be under investigation to see if you're a child sex-offender."
Lyra scowled deeply and stamped a hoof on her cushion. "That's wrong on so many levels. Hugs are in no way sexual."
"The government and the soccer moms looking to sue don't care."
"but-but," Lyra said, her head spinning from the concept. "Hugs are amongst the most sacred signs of friendship and kindness ever created. It's how you tell your loved ones that you'll always be their to help with their struggles. Who would want to take that away."
"The government doesn't want to take it away," Alice said, "they just want to fine you when you do it so that they can buy a new Mercedes."
"I think I want to go back to talking about boobs again," Lyra muttered as she sunk down into the cushion. "No wonder Cameron's such a wreck." She thought back to his visit. He wanted so badly to go back to a hard world, rather than accept that there was a place where affection and love practically oozed out of the dirt. At least, she figured that was a fair comparison.
"Well, I think Pinkie Pie is still convinced that human girls just like stuffing balloons down their shirts," Alice teased, having heard Lyra.
Lyra knew when to drop a subject, she new when it would never end well. This was not one of those times. "Did I ever tell you about the first time Pinkie ever met a woman?"
Thus came the story as to why Pinkie was required to daily recite fifty things she was not allowed to do upon meeting a human.