It was a grey and miserable day as Princess Twilight Sparkle trudged through Ponyville’s marketplace, picking her way around the muddy puddles. She wore her golden hoof-covers and the rest of her regalia poked out of her saddlebags. Twilight walked as if it weighed more than the heavens.
“Oh cheer up, Twilight. At least the Mayor finished on time,” Spike said, patting her on the back. He sat perched between Twilight’s wings, juggling a scroll, quill and inkpot as he finished scribbling down notes.
Twilight sighed. “Yeah, funny how much faster things seem to go when I’m wearing a crown.”
“Hey, don’t knock the crown, I’ll wear it if you don’t want to.”
She shot a look over her shoulder that could have cut glass.
“Okay, fine. I won’t wear your crown without permission.” Twilight arched her eyebrow at him. Spike crossed his arms across his chest. “Or tell ponies you ordered them to do something. Geeze, will you give that a rest already?”
“I’ll tell you what, Spike,” Twilight said, smiling. “The next time I usurp royal authority and flood part of a palace, you can hold it over my head for months on end.”
“I’m making a note of that,” Spike muttered, scrawling it down. “Knowing our lives it’s bound to happen again at some point.”
“What, you pretending you’re a Princess, or somepony flooding a castle?”
Spike paused, tapping the quill against his lips. “Probably both. I wouldn’t mind a little bit of authority around here. Ponies keep treating me like your secretary for some reason.”
Twilight rolled her eyes. “‘Heavy is the head that bears the crown, Spike.’ It seems I spend just as much time being a Princess these days as being Twilight Sparkle.” She frowned. “And the Mayor’s eleven point six recurring meetings a week are not helping.”
“Oh come on, there’s not that many.”
Twilight rolled her eyes. “We’ve had five meetings this week, and it’s Wednesday, do the math.” A bitter sigh escaped her. “I can’t believe I’m saying this, but a pony can only talk so long about libraries.”
Spike let out an incredulous snort. “I’m writing that one down as well.”
A shadow fell upon the pair as they approached the Castle of Friendship. Twilight gazed up at the palace, sighed, shook her head, and continued to plod through the mud.
“It’s still not home, is it?”
“No.” Twilight forced herself to smile. “But with good friends it’ll get there soon enough.” Her magic wreathed the door and, with a grunt, she heaved it open. “Besides, the girls will be over soon and that’ll make a nice–”
“Surprise!” The world vanished in an explosion of noise and confetti. Twilight went head over hooves, landing in a deep puddle just beyond her front step.
“Hey Twilight!” Pinkie exclaimed, bounding over. “Guess what?”
Twilight groaned. “You found another party cannon?”
“No I– Hey, that’s right! Who told you?”
Dragging herself to her hooves, Twilight shook her head and beat the mud out of her wings. “Just a lucky guess.” She glanced around. “Hey, what happened to Spike?”
There was a muffled shout from under the mud. Twilight whirled, lighting her horn; there was a pop of displaced air and a dishevelled Spike appeared. He shook himself clean, the rain of mud soaking Twilight from horn to hoof. Again.
"Must you do that every time?" Twilight snarled through clenched teeth. There was a second flash of teleportation and a squelch as Twilight's saddle bags fell back into the mud. Twilight reappeared on the steps of the castle a moment later, mud and regalia free, and breathed a deep sigh of relief.
"I blame the mirror world," Spike said hurriedly.
Pinkie bounded over, putting a foreleg over Twilight's withers. "Aww, what's got you so grumpy today? It's a perfect day."
"Really?" Twilight cocked an eyebrow. "It's wet, I'm cold and just got hit in the face with confetti. Something that somepony promised wouldn't happen anymore."
A nervous chuckle escaped Pinkie Pie. "Sorry, Twilight. I don't think Gummy got the message yet. I'm pretty sure I cleared out all the cannons from your bedroom, though."
Twilight ground a hoof against her aching head. "And why would I want a party in my bedroom?"
"Duh, some of the best parties happen in bedrooms," Pinkie Pie said with a broad, guileless smile.
Electing to ignore that, Twilight shrugged Pinkie off and pushed her way into her castle. “Look, Pinkie, I know you’re trying to help but there are some days that require a little more than ballistic party decorations to fix.”
Pinkie’s face fell. “But you looked so miserable that I had to do something!” She grabbed Twilight and hauled her across the reception hall, planting her down on one of the many chaise lounges that Rarity had dotted around the castle. “Here,” she said, pulling a notepad and pencil out of her mane. “Tell Dr Pinkie all about it.”
“Urgh.” Twilight pressed a cushion over her eyes. “I’ve told you before, Pinkie, it's against the law to claim you’re a doctor.” Pinkie began to protest but—without opening her eyes—Twilight cut in. “And partyology is still not an actual degree, stop asking.”
“Ooo, you’re extra grouchy today,” Pinkie chirped, sweeping Twilight back onto her hooves. “I know just the cure for that.”
“I’ll bet a sapphire that it's a party,” Spike said, dragging Twilight’s saddlebags into the castle.
“Please, I’m not a one party pony.” Pinkie waved her fore hoof dismissively then paused, frowning. “One trick pony, I said trick. I know what a Friendship Princess really needs and that’s friends. And books! Come with me!”
Pinkie grabbed Twilight by her hock and dragged her through the castle. Faster than the alicorn would have believed possible she found herself hustled through a blur of corridors—a few that she didn’t recognise—and before she could catch her breath they burst into the library.
“Tadda! Friends and books.”
Twilight shot her a flat look, pointing a hoof at the empty shelves and distinct lack of other ponies.
“Huh.” Pinkie rubbed her chin with her hoof. “I was sure I left a pegasus, a unicorn and a huge pile of books here.” Her eyes widened suddenly. “Gasp! Were they stolen by a rampaging bookworm?”
“That’s bookwyrm, and they hibernate this time of year,” Twilight said, rolling her eyes. She set off at a trot between the empty shelves, heading deeper into the empty library.
“Oh phooey. I should return that harpoon then.” Pinkie paused. “So, what happened to the rest of the books?”
Twilight sighed, casting a forlorn look at the bare shelves. “The castle formed without any. That, and I’m having a hard time convincing the Equestrian Library Service to send me enough to fill more than a fraction. It turns out ‘act of centaur’ wasn’t on any of their insurance policies and they’re a little reluctant to give me any more.” She let out a bitter chuckle. “That and it took a royal order from Celestia to get me a new library card. Lousy wings.”
Shaking her head she continued. “Oh well, the first shipment should have arrived today and I can finally go back to being a librarian for a little while.” Twilight smiled, already imagining the smell of paper and binding, the thrill of discovery while poring through old tomes and the satisfaction of a reshelving well done. She couldn’t wait to start unpacking.
“Oh darlings, there you are.” Rarity’s crystal clear voice cut through Twilight’s thoughts and Twilight stopped dead. “I was wondering where you’d got to; Rainbow Dash was no help at all sorting all these books.”
Twilight wasn’t listening, she was too busy staring in open-mouthed horror at the ghastly sight behind Rarity.
Rarity flushed, bushing a minuscule speck of grime from her perfect coat. “Yes, I do suppose I’ve gotten a little bit dusty, but we all have to make some sacrifices in the name of a job well done.” She turned and regarded the shelves with a broad smile. “And it is so good to see this set of shelves properly stocked.”
“You... you sorted my books,” Twilight murmured.
“Ah, well yes, darling. When I heard how much trouble you were having with your new library, I couldn’t do anything less. We must do all we can to support our newest Princess, after all.” She paused, tilting her head at Twilight. “Are you quite alright?”
“You sorted my books, by colour!” Twilight jammed a hoof at the rainbow spread of books on the shelf, her eye twitching.
“Ah, I can see how you would think that,” Rarity said, hurriedly. “But, I think you’ll find that they are in fact sorted by colour and size.”
The sound of Twilight’s hoof hitting her skull echoed through the empty library. “Rarity,” she growled. “You can’t have a library organised by colour or size.”
“Oh? But it looks so chic.” Rarity beamed as she regarded her work. “Look at the way the rainbow harmonises with the crystal shelves to attract the eye towards the books. Look how the light plays gracefully across the covers, as if drawn to the knowledge itself. Look, if you dare, at the bold lines traced by the alignment of the covers. It inspires a sense of wonder, a lust for the boundless knowledge contained within those well ordered tomes. Don’t you agree?”
“Not particularly.” Twilight rolled her eyes. “Rarity, do you know how a library actually works?”
Rarity wrinkled her nose. “Oh you wound me, darling. Of course I know your proclivity towards your Dancer’s Decimal system but think of the opportunity we have here. A blank canvas, ready to be shaped by our imaginations to shape the finest Royal Library known to Equestria.” She swept Twilight into a side-on hug. “Just imagine the thousands of ponies that will flock to the castle of the Princess of Friendship and be entranced by the bold new design. Instilled with a lust for learning ”
“I like it!” Pinkie cut in, investigating the ‘pink’ section of the shelving and doing a fair job of impersonating a chameleon. “I’ve never even seen half of these books before.”
“But girls, what about actually finding the book you’re looking for,” Twilight pressed. “I appreciate the effort you’ve put in here but if I said I wanted ‘Growing Great Minds by Green Grass’ what would you do?”
Rarity frowned, staring at the shelves. “Hmm... Is it a green book?”
“I don’t know!” Twilight snapped, struggling somewhat to believe she was having such a conversation. “Nopony knows what colour the book they’re looking for is because that would be, quite literally, judging a book by its cover!”
“Oh darling, I do wish you’d meet me halfway,” Rarity said with a sigh. “Pinkie Pie why don’t you try; what book would you like?”
Pinkie bounced in place. “Ooo! Ooo! A big pink one, please.”
“See, Twilight.” Rarity smiled, kindling her horn. “It can take just a moment of daring to discover something truly wonderful.” A heavy pink tome dropped down to hover before her nose, suspended in her magic. “Why, without my new system how would Pinkie have ever found ‘Euclid's Elementary Guide To Eldritch Abominations: Do Not Give To Pinkie Pie’...” She paused, looked back at the cover and then up at Twilight.
“Huh, that’s actually the title. Well, perhaps there are a few teething problems,” she said, the book accelerating up and away, despite Pinkie’s attempt to grab it before it escaped. “How about you just try it for a few days? You may grow to like it.”
Twilight took a deep, calming breath. “Look, Rarity. I’m trying to run a library—despite the best efforts of half of the Equestrian government—and that means I have to give ponies books, books that they want. Not books that are roughly the same size and colour. When Sweetie comes in for her elementary magic primer on Friday, what am I going to do?”
“Oh, that’s easy. It’s a delightful little slim fuchsia number.”
Twilight’s hoof hit her head again.
“Hey, eggheads,” Rainbow Dash cut in, swooping down from the rafters with a bundle of books in her forelegs. She paused a moment, taking in the rainbow spread of books and Pinkie Pie attempting to climb the shelves. “Awesome! See? I told you rainbows improve everything.” Twilight muttered something incoherent. “Anyway, I picked up all the Daring Do books I’d ‘borrowed’ from the library. Where do you want them?”
“With the rest of the off-beige books, darling.”
“Off-wh...” She glanced down her books. “Oh, I see. Hey, this is a pretty cool system. Why have you never tried this before, Twilight?”
In an attempt to get the world to start making sense again, Twilight slammed her head against the bookcase. High above her, just inches from getting her hooves on ‘Euclid's Elementary Guide’, she knocked Pinkie Pie off of her perch. Pinkie hung in the air for just a moment before plummeting back to earth; fortunately, she landed on something soft.
“Curse you, Euclid!” Pinkie exclaimed, lying in a heap on top of Twilight. “You see if I use your geometry again.”
“Pinkie Pie,” Twilight growled.
Pinkie Pie blinked, looking down owlishly. “Oh, hey Twilight. Ooo, did you know how soft your wings are?”
There was a sudden crack of teleportation and Twilight appeared on her hooves a few feet away, shaking out her ruffled wings. “Look, girls,” she said through clenched teeth. “I understand you’re trying to help but this is a library, not some kind of art installation.”
“Oh, but it is a Royal Library,” Rarity interjected, almost purring the word. “Surely we can–”
“No, Rarity. This isn’t a Royal anything. This is my library and my home and I want to keep it that way. When I come here I want to escape being royalty, not to be reminded of it everytime I try to find a book.”
Rarity pouted. “I suppose I can see your–”
“Wait, hold up!” Rainbow cut in, landing hard next to them. “What’s this about wanting to escape being royalty? Getting those wings is the most awesome thing that’s ever happened to you.”
Twilight let out a deep sigh, folding her wings. “Well, I do appreciate them, but being a Princess hasn’t just changed everything for the better. There’s a terrifying amount of responsibility involved with being a Princess, not to mention that it seems like everypony and their mother seems to want my help with something.” She glared into space for a moment before shaking herself and continuing. “I just want a Royal free zone, girls. Somewhere where I can be Twilight for a little while without ponies fawning over me... is that so much to ask?”
“Howdy folks! Royal delivery for all ya'll.”
Twilight’s ears folded flat as Applejack sauntered out from between the bookshelves, a small safe balanced on her back. Fluttershy followed in her wake, staying well back as the safe wobbled back and forth with every step. Applejack let out a whistle as she saw the rainbow spread. “Woo-wee, looks like you girls have been busy. Looks mighty pretty, but how are you supposed to find your book?”
“Finally, somepony understands!” Twilight exclaimed. Her horn kindled and she lifted the safe from Applejack’s back. “I’ve been trying to—” she paused, turning the safe over in her magic. “—hold on, is this...”
“Yeup, got it from Library Square just a few minutes ago. Turned up while they were digging out a new foundation. Thought you might recognise it.”
“My Memories Safe!” Twilight wrapped her forelegs around the metal cube, beaming with happiness. “Oh Applejack, this is wonderful. I thought Tirek had destroyed it along with the library.”
“Heh, well you're more than welcome, sugarcube.”
Rainbow Dash lept into the air, hovering next to the alicorn. “Okay, so why are you gushing over a safe?”
“Because I kept all my most important memories in here,” Twilight said, setting it down and spinning the dial before tugging at the handle. “I figured living in a tree with a dragon was a good reason to invest in a fireproof safe. I–urgh–just need to–argh–get it–eeeh–open!”
She gave one final yank before her grip slipped and she fell over backwards.
Applejack rolled her eyes. With a swift, one-hoofed buck she slammed the twisted frame back into place and the door swung open.
“Heh, thanks again, Applejack.” Twilight scrambled back to her hooves.
“Always happy to help out royalty,” Applejack said with a laconic nod.
Twilight elected to ignore that, focusing instead on her recovered treasures. Pink magic flooded the safe, drawing the objects out one by one. “Yes! Everything’s okay. My diploma’s... a little rumpled but that’s fine. Oh, here’s Spike’s blanky, and Smarty Pants.”
“Hold up, Ah thought my brother still had that,” Applejack cut in, frowning at the doll.
“He thinks he has it,” Twilight said with a smirk. “Anyway, here are some rare tomes from the Canterlot Archive—which as I already filled out the insurance form means that maybe I can...” She noticed the harsh glares from her friends. “Right, right, I’ll send a message about them tomorrow. Oh, and here’s Starswirl’s completed last spell and then there are my photo albums. Have I ever shown you Spike’s baby photos?”
“Hold up, hold up,” Rainbow Dash cut in, swooping down and plucking Starswirl’s journal off the pile. “You still have Starswirl’s last spell? Like, the one that made you an alicorn?”
Twilight paused. “Well yes. I know there were some explosions alongside my casting it, but the book didn’t just go away. Why do you ask?”
“Oh, no reason,” Rainbow said, smirking. “I was just thinking that if you were so sick of being a Princess maybe I could give it a shot. How does Princess of Awesomeness sound to you girls?”
Applejack rolled her eyes. “Princess of Ego more like.”
“Yeah, yeah. What would you be then, Princess of Apples?” Rainbow chuckled at her own joke. “I don’t think Celestia gives out titles for fruit.”
“How about Honesty?” Applejack said, cocking an eyebrow at her.
“Yeah, but that would make me the Princess of Loyalty and whoa, is that something ponies will try and take advantage of.” Rainbow flipped open the book. “Nope, Awesomeness it is for me, or maybe Radicalness. No, Awesomeness. Radicalness wears off too fast. I’d be Princess of Blah within a year. So, how do I make this thing work?”
“Rainbow, it’s not going to make you a Princess,” Twilight said, testily. She plucked the book out of Rainbow’s hooves and cradled it in her forelegs. “Starswirl’s spell is a masterpiece of thaumatic construction, requiring a lifetime of study to learn and construct. It took me literally my whole life to reach a point where I could even hope to cast it. Even then it went horribly wrong the first time. You can’t just wave it around and make somepony an alicorn.”
Rainbow shrugged. “It’s worth a shot; why can’t we all become alicorns? I mean it's what, a six line poem? It can’t be that complicated.”
“It can’t be–!” Twilight cut herself off with a choked squeak. For a moment she spluttered, trying to find the words to express just how much damage such a spell could do in the wrong hooves.
“Rainbow dear, I do believe you’re being a little blasè about this whole thing,” Rarity said, stepping between the pair before Twilight exploded. “I may be a novice when it comes to true spellcasting, but even I know it's more than just reading the words. It's the delicate dance of potentials, the fulfilment of destiny, the triumph of friendship and magic above all else. That’s not mere poetry to be read in class.”
Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes. “Yeah, yeah, I hear you. But hey, we’ve been through all the same adventures as Twilight. It was us that actually had all our butts swapped around. Why can’t we get in on the Princess gig? Heck, if there’s anypony here that wanted to be a Princess it was you, Rarity.”
“Moi?” Rarity held a hoof to her chest. Her shocked expression was met by flat looks from everypony. “Well, I suppose I have been searching for my Prince to sweep me into high society for quite some time now. And it would be so much easier to catch the ear of the important ponies of Canterlot with a pair of wings to show off. Oh, and then there’s the effect it would have on my business. And while I think of it there’s the impact I could have on the art world. In fact, I would dare say that I–”
She paused and then turned to face Twilight, a sly smile spreading across her face. “Actually... Twilight.” She began to trace tiny circles with her forehoof. “What would one have to do to say, make that spell work for her?”
Twilight groaned, pressing her hoof against her head. “Et tu, Rarity?”
“Oh, lighten up Twi,” Applejack said, putting a foreleg over her shoulder. “It’s just daydreaming. Heck, Ah can think of a hundred things Ah’d do around the farm if given the chance to be an alicorn. Don’t mean Ah’m foolish to start reading off spells willy-nilly. Last time any of us tried that we almost got flooded with Pinkie Pies.”
“Well, of course we would be careful,” Rarity continued, waving her off. “But you have to admit there is potential to the idea.”
“I’m for it!” Pinkie Pie cut in, bouncing in place. “The Royal Caterers said I could plan the next coronation. I know just how it’s going to go. First, I’m going to need a hundred barrels of gelatin mix, then—”
Twilight turned her attention back to Rarity. Pinkie would be happy to talk to empty air for at least another five minutes. “Look, girls, I know that the whole alicorn thing sounds appealing to you all, but I promise it's not as glamorous as you think. Being a Princess is a lot of work and requires a lot of sacrifice. It’s not just high society garden parties, or looking awesome, or whatever it is Pinkie’s thinking.”
“—but of course, I thought, where would I get a minister? Then I realised, I could just ordain myself! Oh wait, then I’d need somepony else to coronate me. Well Maud could do that, she was a High Priestess in a Nightmare cult you know, so—”
“Right, so the power, the fanclub and the palace are all just window dressing?” Rainbow Dash shrugged. “Face it Twilight, being a Princess is sweet.”
Twilight folded her ears flat. “I could’ve done without the palace,” she murmured. Rainbow didn’t seem to notice.
“Look, I’ll prove it. Even Fluttershy wants to be a Princess. Isn’t that right ‘Shy?”
Fluttershy, who up until that moment had been hiding behind Spike’s baby photo album, let out a startled 'eep!' "I mean, sorry. Um, what was the question?”
Rainbow facehoofed. “Do you want to be an alicorn?” she said, slowly.
“Oh. Um... maybe? I mean... if everypony else wanted to be I guess that would be fine.” Fluttershy retreated further behind the album her voice dropping to a mere whisper. “And I’ve always wanted to feel the seasons change beneath my hooves.”
“Figures you’d go with an earth pony thing.” Rainbow puffed out her chest. “Me, I’m going for magic all the way. You may think the Rainbow Dash you see before you is the most awesome thing ever in Equestria, but you just wait until I’m shooting lasers out of my head.” She pressed her hooves together above her head. “Pew pew, pew pew pew pew. Pew pew. Pew?” Her laser noises petered out as she realised everypony was staring at her.
Twilight scowled. “Rainbow Dash, please be serious,” she hissed. “Being a Princess is not a joke or a game and this spell—” she hefted Starswirl’s journal and stamped her hoof“—will not give you superpowers. It is not some kind of wish granting machine to turn ponies into alicorns nor a book of limericks to skim through. This is my destiny, don’t you understand? This is everything that I am!”
Rainbow Dash just scowled back at her, though Rarity let out a long sigh.
“I suppose we have been getting a little ahead of ourselves, darlings,” she said, shaking her head. “Still, ‘Princess Rarity’...” She stared into space for a moment. “It has a nice ring to it.”
Rainbow Dash let out a frustrated grumble. “Urgh, you know what? I think you’re scared that it’ll work.” She jabbed a hoof at Twilight. “Why not let me read that spell? I’m a pegasus, if I’m wrong then nothing’s going to happen.”
Twilight felt her eye twitch. “Fine. If that’s what you think, then fine!” she snapped. The book leapt between the pair and Rainbow clumsily caught the tome. “If reading this is what it's going to take to prove things to you, go ahead and read the darn spell. I’ll just be over here making sure you don’t explode.”
Rainbow Dash stared at the book for a long moment, then a wicked grin spread across her face. “Oh yeah. This is going to be awesome,” she declared, as everypony else took a few hurried steps back.
“Umm, she won’t actually explode, right Twilight?” Fluttershy asked, half hidden behind Applejack.
“Nopony is going to explode, nothing is going to happen.” Twilight stomped over to the others. “Trust me.”
“Yeah, right. Keep watching girls, you’ll want to tell your grandfoals about this.” Dropping onto her haunches, Rainbow flipped through Starswirl’s journal until she reached the final page. “Okay!” She frowned as she read through the spell. “Okay... Alrighty then.” She paused, chewing her lip. “Hey Twilight, did ascending hurt?” she called out, suddenly. “Because it didn’t look too comfortable when you did it.”
“Just read the spell, Rainbow Dash,” Twilight shot back, rolling her eyes. “I’ve got a lot of books to reshelve today.”
“Alright, alright, I’m reading.” Her eyes flicked back down to the page. “Any second now...” Rainbow stood, took a deep breath and began to read.
“From all of us together,
together we are friends.
With the marks of our destinies made one,
there is magic without end.”
For a moment there was only silence. Fluttershy let out a startled squeak as a distant door slammed, but Rainbow Dash remained motionless in the centre of the room.
After a few more seconds of awkward silence Rainbow Dash slumped. “Eh, it was worth a–”
Her eyes went white with power. A blast of magic and wind swept through the room, lightning and spellfire blazing random paths across the library as Rainbow Dash was lifted into the air. For just a moment she hung there, mane tousled by ethereal winds. Then, in a flash of light and a defining peal of thunder she vanished, leaving only a lighting bolt-shaped burn on the ground.
Starswirl’s journal dropped to the ground with a thud.
Twilight stared open mouthed. Part of her was convinced that panic was the best response and was screaming at her to move, to act, to do anything to try and fix things. That voice, however, was smothered beneath a flood of utter disbelief.
“Did she–” Applejack began, but Rarity cut her off.
“MINE!” she screamed, hurling herself towards the book. Pinkie Pie was only a few seconds behind, half dragging Fluttershy along with her. Applejack took up the rear, with only a sheepish glance towards Twilight as she passed.
Thirty seconds, and four radiant bursts of light, later Twilight was alone in the library.
“I– I– I...”
“Oh, hey Twilight!” Spike exclaimed, stepping out from between the shelves. “I finished putting your regalia away, thanks for the help with that by the way. Do you and the girls want anything from the kitch– hey, where did they go?”
He glanced around, seeing nothing but a catatonic Twilight, and waddled over to her side. “Uh, Equestria to Twilight, are you in there?”
Waving a claw in front of her face got no response, nor did pulling on her foreleg. Spike tried to bring himself up with Twilight’s eyeline and finally saw the safe, Starswirl’s journal and, at last, the five overlaid cutie marks burned into the floor.
“Ooo... Okay. I should go send a message to Princess Celestia then.”