A lone mare sat in the classroom of Ponyville's school. She cloaked herself in a long black warm looking cloak, despite it being springtime. She sat in silence, rage and anger encompassing her very being.
And than a soft knock came to the door, barely audible.
The mare smiled a wicked smile. She had been waiting for that knock.
"ENTER." she yelled.
Slowly, ever so slowly, the door opened, and an earth pony stallion walked in. His fur was a bright orange, with a messy dark brown mane. Upon his flank was a wagon's wheel.
And a sudden gust of wind shut the door behind him with a loud bang.
He stared at the interior of the schoolhouse. The room seemed to be filled with darkness, the curtains drawn closed, only a lone candle at the other end of the room providing light. The light did very little remove the feeling of dread that permeated from all corners of the room. He swore he could hear an organ playing a most frightening tune, and off in the distance, he heard a crow cry.
For the first time in many years, he knew true fear.
And than he saw the cloaked figure at the head of the room, her face obscured, waves of black anger radiating from her very soul to permeate the room.
"Miss Cheerilee" he began. "I....just got the note from my daughter, and.."
"SIT" Cheerilee interrupted, pointing at a what would in any other circumstance be considered a very comfortable chair.
The stallion immediately rushed to the chair and sat.
"HEAVY ROLLER" Cheerilee said. "YOUR DAUGHTER'S BEHAVIOR HAS BEEN MOST REPREHENSIBLE ON THIS DAY, AND IT IS TIME TO DISCUSS A COURSE OF ACTION TO DETERMINE THE MOST EFFICIENT MANNER TO RECTIFY THIS SITUATION."
"I hereby leave my decorative shot glass collection to my brother High. The rest of my estate shall be auctioned off to the highest bidder, the bits to be put into a savings account, to only be accessible to my daughter upon her coming of age..." Heavy Roller began silently reciting his will to himself.
"AND IT WAS UPON THIS DAY THAT I HAVE SUMMONED YOU HERE! NOW HEAR ME OUT AS WE COME TO THE OPTIMUM SOLUTION!!!" Cheerilee shouted again.
You know, she actually sounds kind of funny.... Heavy Roller though to himself.
Heavy Roller breathed in a deep breath, than immediately relaxed. "Ok, before we continue, can you stop with the Royal Ominous Voice thing? You don't exactly pull it off very well."
"Er....well...."
"And do you gotta wear that cloak? I mean, seriously, it's hot as Tartarus in here!"
"I'm not taking off the cloak." I can't take off the cloak
"Oh come on, I can tell you're sweating, and seriously, if you wanna have a serious discussion concerning my daughter's behavior, we have be open with each other, and the cloak creates a level of intimidation that will only make things difficult."
"Crap" Cheerilee thought to herself.
"Do you promise not to laugh?"
"What?" The stallion asked, expecting many responses besides that one.
"Do you promise not to laugh?" Cheerilee repeated.
"I promise." Heavy Roller said, in as honest a voice as he could muster.
This won't end well Cheerilee thought I really don't even wanna be here......
Cheerilee slowly removed the cloak that shrouded her form.
To his credit, Heavy Roller did not laugh.
He did not laugh when he saw the fact that Cheerilee was wearing an eye patch,that she was wearing a bandage around her head, that a giant piece of her mane was missing, that her right foreleg bore a color scheme similar to that of a rainbow, or that the rest of her fur was matted with mud.
HE DID NOT LAUGH.
He did, however, scream at a pitch several octaves higher than one would think was possible for a stallion his age. And he would swear on his deathbed that he never screamed at that pitch.
After taking a moment to catch his breath, Heavy Roller already knew the answer, but he felt he had to ask anyway.
"Scootaloo did all this in one day!?"
Cheerilee nodded, her face red with embarrassment.
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My little pony, My little pony
Ahh ahh ahh ahhh...
My little pony
Friendship never meant that much to me
My little pony
But you're all here and now I can see
Stormy weather; Lots to share
A musical bond; With love and care
Teaching laughter; It's an easy feat,
And magic makes it all complete!
You have my little ponies
How'd I ever make so many true friends?
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Cheerilee kept her head down, staring down at her hooves (doing her best to ignore the rainbow colored one) and hoping that Heavy Roller wasn't staring, or silently laughing at her, or thinking of telling everyone he knew about her current state, or-
"Miss Cheerilee?" Heavy Roller asked.
"Yes Mr. Roller?"how long had I been staring at my hooves?
"I...realize this is supposed to be a serious discussion between two adults, but...."
Cheerilee gulped, nervousness permeating her being.
"....I have to ask, how exactly did Scootaloo manage to do all of this?"
"That's.....actually a good question. I still have trouble believing all this happened...."
"Well, considering the fact I have nothing else planned for the rest of the day, and that my daughter is the one responsible, I am all for talking about this."
Ah well, not like I have anything to lose Cheerilee thought to herself. "It all started this morning....
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It all started about 30 minutes before school would start for the day. I was sitting at my desk, looking over the days lesson plans, and eating a nice breakfast of coffee and a hay sandwich.
Through the walls, I could kids outside, playing out in the yard. I'm honestly kind of envious at how much energy foals have.
And than I heard a sound that was concurrent with a baseball smashing through a window and suddenly felt a very sharp pain on my head.
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"And that's why I have a bandage on my head."
Heavy Roller's gaze darted from Cheerilee eyes to the bandage she dawned on her head.
"...you got hit with a baseball in the head early in the morning, and yet you went through the rest of the school day with that injury?"
"Yes."
Is she made of iron or something? Heavy Roller thought to himself. Than another thought occurred to him.
"Wait, how did you know Scootaloo was responsible for this?"
"Welllll....."
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"Oh dear sweet Luna, Cheerilee, I am SO sorry, please don't expel me, I DIDN'T MEAN TO HIT THE BALL THROUGH THE WINDOW!!!!!!!!!!!"
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"Oh."
Silence.
"So" Heavy Roller sighed "What happened next?"
"Arts and crafts happened......."
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"Ok class" I called out to the class, trying very hard to ignore the fact that all the eyes were glued to the bandage "today for arts and crafts, we're gonna design flyers for next weeks school talent show! I want you all to do the best you can! Remember class, these flyers will be posted around town!"
I walked around the class, checking the students progress. Everything was progressing regularly.
And then Scootaloo, right on schedule, got frustrated.
"This isn't working! Dumb flyer!" she yelled, just as she usually does when she gets frustrated during an arts project.
What she did differently this time was she tossed her project in the air in frustration. Usually she just rips to shreds and lets the pieces fall to the floor.
No, for some reason, she chose to throw her project into the air in frustration.
And it landed right in my mane.
I became painfully aware of three basic facts at this point.
One, it landed face down.
Two, Scootaloo used a truly superfluous and exuberant amount of glue.
Three, the glue was very very sticky and it was CAUGHT IN MY MANE!!!!
No, I did not scream "get it off"!
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Heavy Roller shot a look at Cheerilee that said "Seriously?"
Cheerilee sighed.
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"GET IT OFF, GET IT OFF!" I yelled.
I'm not really sure what happened right after that. All I know is that chaos ensued for about 30 seconds.
And than a loud sound broke through all of that.
RRRRRRRRRRRRRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I prayed to Luna that sound was paper ripping.
It was not the sound of paper ripping.
Scootaloo had gotta the paper off of my head. And with it, a good portion of my mane.
In retrospect, the look on Scootaloo's face was pretty funny.
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"Didn't that hurt?"
"Not really. I was too focused on the very sticky paper on my head.....and now I'm worried about how I'm supposed to deal with my mane."
"You know, you could always try combing over-"
"NO!" Cheerilee yelled. "I am FAR too young to have a comb over! I am not some old grandma! I'm too young for this!!!!"
Note to self: never talk about her age. Heavy Roller wisely added that advice to his rules of life.
"The next incident" Cheerilee continued "Was during lunchtime"
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I was sitting under a tree during lunchtime, calmly eating my lunch. The students kept a 30 foot radius from me. Every so often, one of them would stare, but would quickly leave. Until Scootaloo came along.
"Um...Miss Cheerilee?" she said, her voice absolutely dripping with apology and general sorry.
I admit, part of me just wanted me to tell her to go away, what with the giant bandage of my head and the giant portion of my mane sitting in a trash can. But I couldn't do that. One of the reasons I became a teacher was to always be there for my students, no matter what.
"Yes Scootaloo?"
She stared down at her hooves, shifting her weight around nervously.
"I....." She shook her head "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to do any of that to you. It was all an accident."
I could feel my heart breaking. She was crying.
"Please don't hate me...." she cried.
I gasped. "Scootaloo! I could never hate any of my students."
"R-really?"
"Really. You're all very special to me. Now dry those tears. You have nothing to worry about. I will never hate you."
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"That is so adorable." Heavy Roller commented genuinely.
Cheerilee's face turned red.
"So I'm guessing things didn't stay so good, am I right?"
Cheerilee nodded.
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"I....um....I have a present for you...."
"Oh?"
"Yeah, it's a jar of Liquid Rainbow!"
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Cheerilee stared down at her right foreleg. Heavy Roller also stared at it.
"So, that's how...."
"Yeah."
..........
"How exactly did it end up from being in a jar to coating your entire leg?"
"Honestly, I'm still confused on that part."
..........
"Actually, now that I think about it, why would she even have a jar of that stuff?" Cheerilee pondered.
"She like to dip her chips in it." Heavy Roller answered. "Honestly, I'm surprised her digestion can handle it. That stuff is easily the hottest, spiciest stuff I've ever eaten."
"So for the afternoon, the class had a special guest to discuss how the night court operates......."
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"Behold as the Great and Powerful Trixie AMAZES you with feats of daring beyond your wildest imaginations!!!"
The class instantly became very excited. I admit, I would have loved to see her perform a magic show as much as the students did. Unfortunately, sometimes a teacher has to reign in her students. Or in this case, her guest speakers.
"Trixie" I sighed. "We talked about this. You're here to talk about government, not perform a magic show."
Trixie looked at me. Than she her eyes went wide. "What happened to you?" she asked, a bit louder than I think she intended.
I heard a noise that sounded like a soft scream of anguish from back of the class. "Nothing out of the ordinary. Teacher's go through this kinda stuff every day." I said, with as straight a face as I could muster, given the circumstances. "Now then Representative, would you be so kind as to explain to the class what role the Night Court plays in Equestria?"
I admit it was a bit mean to make such a demand, what with Trixie being so surprised at my condition and me appearing to shake it off like it was nothing, but she immediately complied. I should talk to her later and explain what actually happened, lest she thinks all the children in town are little Tartarus raisers.
"The Night Court was first established in the 13th year of the Lunarian Calendar." she began to address the class. I could tell she was nervous, perhaps a bit fearful, of what these kids might do to her.
I really do need to explain everything to her.
But I digress. It was about 30 minutes into her lecture when it happened. She was talking about a recent visit she took to the Night Court.
"Blah blah blah blah blabbity blah blah blah."
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"You weren't even paying attention to what she was saying!!?" Heavy Roller was a bit shocked at that. And here I thought she paid attention to everything that happens"
"I should probably get back on subject" Cheerilee thought nervously. "Anyway, while Trixie was lecturing the class, Scoo-"
"What were you doing that distracted you so much?"
"Oh no. I can't answer that. I'll be humiliated....wait a minute, I'm wearing an eye patch, I'm covered in mud, half my mane is missing, my leg is rainbow colored, and I have a bandage on my head.......
"I was reading the newspaper. I didn't get the chance to this morning, and I was too frustrated during lunch to do it. I knew Trixie would be able to handle the class on her own....in retrospect, if I was paying more attention, perhaps I wouldn't be wearing an eye patch right now....."
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Trixie was continuing to lecture about the Night Court to the class, and the role is served in Equestria's government. And I was reading....well, I don't remember the exact article. My eyes were wide and unblinking, taking my time with the paper, since I knew Trixie would be talking for awhile.
I wish I would have been taking a nap like I originally wanted to, but my dedication to the job stopped me from doing that.
So I read the newspaper, stopping every so often to make sure everypony in class was paying attention. About 45 minutes after Trixie's presentation started....
".....and that, colts and fillies, is why you should never, ever put candy on your pizza before going through a security checkpoint headed by the captain of the guard..."
You know, I wish I had been paying more attention. That sounds like a really cool story.
It was at that moment that I decided to check on the class.
I looked up from the paper, and I saw it. A paper glider heading straight for me.
Alas, I could not dodge it in time. It hit me right in my eye.
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"Wait a minute" Heavy Roller interrupted. "A paper glider might hurt a bit, but you wouldn't need an eyepatch for it"
"Ordinarily, I'd agree with you, but......" Cheerilee trailed off. "Mr. Roller, have you ever gotten a paper cut?"
"Yeah. Kinda hurt, but...." His eyes suddenly widened as he stared at Cheerilee.
She stared back, unflinching resolve in her visible eye.
"I-I didn't even know it was possible to get a paper cut on your eyeball...."
"Neither did I. Thank Luna Trixie knew some basic medical spells to stop the bleeding and make sure my vision would be alright....."
"And the paper glider belonged to Scootaloo?" Heavy asked weakly, knowing the answer already.
"Yes. Apparently, Scootaloo had been having an argument with Diamond Tiara via notes written on paper gliders, and Scootaloo threw the last note a bit too hard."
"....this might seem horribly immature, but what did the note say?"
"It said, and I quote" Cheerilee cleared her throat "Up yours"
Both Heavy Roller and Cheerilee stared for a moment, than both of them began to laugh.
"Hahaha....That's my girl!" Heavy Roller finally managed to speak, catching his breath.
"Hehehe.....I would have loved to read all the notes. I bet it was a very engaging conversation."
Both of their laughter slowly died down.
Cheerilee sighed for what felt like the hundredth time since their conversation started. "There's.....Well, there's one more thing that Scootaloo did, but it happened outside of school hours, so...."
"You better tell me about it anyway. If I don't hear about it now, I'm sure SOMEONE in town will tell me about."
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After the....incident with the paper glider, Trixie volunteered to keep track of the kids for the rest of the day, which was only about another 45 minutes.
I slept through those 45 minutes. Or at least tried to. After everything that had happened, I just wanted to relax. Just go to the spa get PAMPERED!
And get the rainbow out of my leg. I ran it under the hose for a good ten minutes and it refused to wash out.
I was walking through the alleyways towards the spa once I finally worked up the courage to walk out of the schoolhouse. I didn't take the main road though, since I wanted to keep the ponies who saw in my state to a bare minimum.
I should have gotten back onto the main road when I got to a particularly muddy alley.
I admit, I was a bit confused. I had thought some of the weather pegasus needed to drain a cloud there for some reason.
I was right in saying it was a Pegasus who did it. I was wrong in thinking it was a weather Pegasus.
Suddenly, Scootaloo came riding along on a surfboard, somehow surfing on the mud, with a giant grin on her face.
Than she rode by me and splashed me head to tail in mud.
She made a full stop, and stared. She looked....scared. Very scared.
I stared back, doing my absolute best to not look mad. or annoyed. or even slightly flustered.
"M.... Miss Cheerilee......." She sounded frightened.
I wasn't sure what I should say at that point. I just stared for a few seconds.
Luckily, I was only about a block away from the spa. I decided to just walk away and head to the spa without saying anything.
I got to the spa.....and....there was a note on the door.
Big convention in Las Pegasus. Back next week
Aloe & Lotus