A Shadow of Doubt

by DaughterScrewball


Chapter 4

"I've never heard of a pony taking ten minutes to get a cup of punch," Rainbow teased as Trixie finally got back from refreshing her beverage, "and from what I can tell, you forgot to get it while you were there!" Rainbow cracked up as Applejack and Rarity giggled behind her. Trixie realized that she had left her glass behind with Lyra and Bon-Bon. "What took you so long, anyway?" Rainbow asked as she regained her composure. Trixie could tell that Rainbow was getting a bit tipsy. She wasn't much of a drinker herself, but she assumed she could still enjoy Rainbow's company so long as she didn't get completely wasted.
"I was talking with these two ponies I just met. They seemed really nice, and... loving. I guess I left my glass with them." A thoughtful look graced Trixie's face.
"Were they, by any chance... Lyra and Bon-Bon?" Rarity guessed.
"Uh... yeah. How'd you know?" Trixie was getting annoyed that everypony was able to tell what she was thinking so easily.
"It was the way you said "loving". It's probably safe to wager that everypony here would be able to tell just from the way you said that word."
"I sure was, sugarcube," chimed in Applejack.
"I'm surprised you even had to ask, Rarity. It was obvious to everypony else here!" Rainbow cackled as she cracked up again. Trixie could tell that if she didn't remind Rainbow about what she wanted to ask about soon, she would probably be too drunk to even know what Trixie was talking about.
"Rainbow, you said you wanted to ask about something?"
"Oh, right, right," replied Rainbow as she pulled herself together again. "I've noticed that a lot of the time when you and Twilight talk about the first time you were in Ponyville, you act like you you’re talking about something else. Like you knew each other before you met in Ponyville, but you both try not to let anyone else catch on..." A nervous look appeared on Trixie's face. "At first I thought it was just my mind seeing things that weren't there, but you both kept acting weird. Anyway, what I'm saying is... do you and Twilight have some sort of history together?" Rainbow's eyes lit up and she smiled as if urging Trixie to spill her innermost secrets. Rarity and Applejack stared at Trixie from either side of her as well.
"Well, it's kind of a long story... not really fit for a party..." Trixie began, trying to reason her way out of having to tell them everything.
"You're not getting off that easy, miss 'I can do magic and make lighting bolts'," Interrupted Rainbow.
"A guilt trip, huh..... I see how it is," Trixie looked at the three of them, who were staring back intently, holding back slightly drunken laughs. "At least they might forget about this in the morning," she thought. "Fine," she said as they scooted closer and perked up their ears, "but like I was saying, it's a long story, you'd better sit down." The three of them sat on the nearest corner couch as Trixie sat on the chair on the opposite side of the corresponding table and began her confession.
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"A long, long time ago, Trixie and I, we were... well, we used to be really good friends."
"Friends? But Twilight, I thought you told us that you didn't have any friends before you came to Ponyville." Pinkie Pie had a confused look on her face.
Twilight decided to ignore the rudeness of the comment that the pink party pony obviously hadn't noticed in her rush to say what she was thinking. "I never said I didn't have any friends, I said I focused so much on my studies that I didn't pay any attention to any of them. I had friends, just no close ones like you guys. And besides, this was way before I even got into Princess Celestia's school. As a matter of fact, about the time I got in was just about the time we started... becoming a lot less friendly with each other," Twilight confessed. Pinkie Pie noticed that she was starting to tear up, if just a little bit.
"What do you mean by "less friendly?" she asked gently and hopefully.
"Well... It started with her getting really jealous..." Twilight began. Pinkie Pie's smile slipped as she realized that her hopes were all for naught- she could already tell that this was going to be a really ugly story.
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"She somehow got the idea that I was jealous of her for getting into the Academy when I was rejected. I mean, I was a little jealous, and there's nothing wrong with that. She got in and I didn't, a little jealousy is to be expected, it's simply not a big deal." Trixie chuckled as she began her next sentence. "But somehow, she got it in her head that I would actually be angry at her for it, which, by the way, is completely ridiculous!" Everypony listening could tell that Trixie was starting to get heated.
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"...so I tell her that I still wanna be friends and she shouldn't be jealous, and that it's not as great as she thinks. So she gets really angry at me and stops talking to me for a week. I've never seen a pony overreact so much in my life!"
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"...and then my family went on a trip to Manehatten for a week. I happened to leave my phone charger at home, so I wasn't able to talk to her for a whole week. I got back and charged my phone and found twenty missed calls. I called her back, but she didn't answer-"
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"Since she was ignoring me, I decided to give her a taste of her own medicine..."

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"- so I went to bed. In the morning, I tried again, but she still wouldn't answer. It was a petty, mean, and cold move, but I gave her the benefit of the doubt and waited before making assumptions."
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"...I thought it would be a good idea, but she got clingier than I thought she would. She called twenty-eight times that week. It was really annoying."
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"...I probably called a few too many times that week and it wasted all of my minutes, but I wanted to make sure she wasn't being childish and giving me the silent treatment..."
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"When I finally decided to call her back, she ignored me AGAIN. Can you believe that?"
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"...It was pretty obvious that she didn't want to be friends anymore. She could have just told me, but no. She had to be childish and cruel about it. So I planned the world's greatest revenge stunt..."
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"What she did next was the worst travesty yet. I was just getting out of class one day and had just walked out of the building when I saw her there, waving and smiling at me. Naturally, I assumed that she'd come to apologize or something, so I trotted up to her and asked her what she was doing there. And then, out of the blue-"
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"...I kissed her, right there in front of everypony!" Rainbow Dash spit out the shot she had just taken and started laughing harder than she had all night.
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"...It was the most embarrassing moment of my life..."
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"...It was the most triumphant moment of my life..."
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"...So I started screaming at her. "Get out of here, why the hoof did you do that?"... that sort of stuff...."
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"...And then I got all sad, and said, "I see how it is... Too embarrassed to be seen in public with your marefriend. I thought you were stronger, I thought my being here would be a pleasant surprise, but... I guess not. We're through!" I screamed at her as I ran away crying." Trixie smiled triumphantly, but the smile quickly evaporated into a more melancholy expression. "But... the last sentence... it was deeper than just a prank. That was the last thing I said to her until I came to Ponyville. It was the end our friendship..." Trixie paused in reflection for a moment before continuing. "Anyway, she was completely furious..."
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"...Everyone at the Academy hated me for the longest time, most of them because of what they thought I did to Trixie, but some of them because they thought I was a filly-fooler! Can you even believe that to begin with? They thought that I, of all ponies, was a filly-fooler! Completely ridiculous!" Twilight finished, not fooling anypony listening, who happened to be precisely Pinkie Pie and nopony else.
Twilight realized as soon as she said the last few sentences that they were a mistake. She was such a foal, always speaking too quick for her brain to tell her mouth it was a bad idea to say whatever nonsense her mouth was spewing. It sometimes made it hard for other ponies to understand her, and it made her a horrible liar. She could only hope that Pinkie Pie was focused too much on something else to notice the obvious cover that came from her mouth. Too focused on something else to be able to tell that Twilight had actually enjoyed Trixie's kiss immensely, that she secretly wished she had gotten the courage to tell Trixie about her feelings back then, but by the time she had gathered the nerve, their friendship had already come crashing down. But Twilight knew Pinkie Pie well enough to know that contrary to popular belief, nothing ever slipped the pink party pony's notice.
Pinkie's ears perked up as soon as Twilight finished. "Twilight, you're a worse liar than Applejack, you silly-filly. Everyone knows you secretly LOVE cheesecake... no wait that's Applejack that loves cheesecake, and it isn't even a secret! Mmm, cheesecake sounds yummy right now." Pinkie rambled as Twilight watched, slightly confused, "I should eat some right now! Wouldn't that be great Twilight? But there was something I wanted to say before. Now what was it? Oh, right! You like Trixie!" she exclaimed.
"I, uhhh.... I have... I have absolutely no idea what your talking about, Pinkie, I-"
""-Twilight, you can always tell your bestest friend Pinkie, and I would never-ever even THINK of judging you. The truth can't be that awfully-waffly bad," responded a concerned-looking but smiling Pinkie Pie.
"Fine..." Twilight conceded, "I liked the kiss... but just a little bit."
"Twilight..."
"A lot. It was my first kiss, and, truth be told, the only one I've ever had that really meant anything."
"What about that stallion that Rarity set you up with about two months ago?"
"Yeah, we kissed a few times after a couple of our dates but it didn't lead anywhere, and like I said, they didn't really mean anything. If you'll recall, the relationship never really took off. He was nice, but..."
"You loved Trixie?" Pinkie mused.
"Maybe... maybe not. But I never got a chance to find out. It doesn't matter much anymore though." A depressed look crossed Twilight's face.
"Why not?"
"What do you mean why not? Even if she's back and wants forgiveness for last time, that doesn't mean she wants the same type of friendship we used to have. And I'm especially sure that after the way it ended, she doesn't want any sort of relationship like that with me. That's why I was so reluctant to trust her at first; and to tell you the truth, I still am. There's no way she can seriously want to be anything with me again after our history." Twilight finished.
"Well, that's not true at all, Twi!" Pinkie began as her smile grew a little bit, "The fact that she's here at all is proof that she wants to at least be friends with you again. And how do you know that she doesn't feel at least some sort of feelings for you too? Why do you think a stage performer like Trixie would come to a super-duper tiny town like Ponyville when she could attract even larger crowds in a big, bumbling, bustling city unless there was some realllly specific thing in that town that she wanted? And it's like Mrs. Cake always says, you don't know how it tastes until you try it. So just tell her how you feel, silly, you've got nothing to lose. Your relationship with Trixie can't get any worse than it already is, and your friends obviously won't judge you." Pinkie smiled wider than she had all night.
"Again with the puppy-dog eyes?" she asked as Pinkie continued to stare back at her. "But-"
"Pretty pretty pretty pretty please, Twilight. I know I can't tell anyone because I Pinkie Swore, but your gonna blow up, or explode, or SOMETHING if you keep keeping your feelings in bottles. Bottles break really easily Twilight! And then everything will be in little glass pieces all over the floor! You've got to, Twilight. Please, please, please, tell her!!!" Pinkie was making even less sense than usual, and Twilight suspected she was drunk. Not wanting Pinkie herself to explode, she grudgingly agreed.
"Fine," she said through gritted teeth. Pinkie started quite literally bouncing off the walls in joy. "But when should I tell her?" Twilight asked nervously.
"Now, silly!" responded Pinkie in the typical fashion.
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As Trixie finished her story, she noticed that the tale had attracted a small crowd. While it was flattering to know that the story was interesting, it was weird for everypony to be watching her as expectantly as they were. Rainbow Dash was still laughing her flank off but was able to contain herself long enough to stop laughing and speak.
"You kissed her?" She began laughing again. "From the way you talk about it, it sounds like it was more for your enjoyment than her embarrassment!" Rainbow teased as she was finally able to regain complete control over herself.
"Right..." Trixe responded, rolling her eyes perhaps a bit too obviously to be convincing. She wasn't embarrassed of being a fillyfooler, but she didn't feel comfortable telling her her new "friends" quite yet, especially with everypony watching her.
"Well... I was just teasing you, but from the way you said that... you really are a fillyfooler, aren't you?"
"Of course not! How dare you even insinuate such a thing!" Once again, Trixie went a little too overboard with her reaction to be convincing.
"It's quite alright if you are," responded Rarity, still not convinced. "Were all your friends here. You can tell us the truth, we won't judge you for it." She smiled encouragingly
"No you can't, don't say anything!" Applejack interjected before Trixie could respond. "As a matter of fact, I'm gonna go get some more cheesecake, just in case you are a fillyfooler and decide to come out. And anypony else here who doesn't wanna hear that should probably come with me, just in case." Applejack left with an entourage of other ponies following her.
"Don't worry about her, she's at least attempting to be nice about the subject matter.When Pinkie and Rainbow told everyone about their relationship, she wouldn't talk to them for two weeks! She's just giving herself a sense of insurance just in case," Rarity said as she smiled somewhat nervously.
"Rainbow and Pinkie? I wouldn't have put them together in a thousand years," said Trixie.
"Neither would anypony else." A chorus of giggles arose but quickly subsided. "Anyway, back to what we're actually talking about...is Rainbow correct in her accusation or not? You're a dreadful liar by the way, so don't even make an attempt at it." Rarity smiled jokingly but Trixie could tell she was serious.
"Well... I guess... I guess since everypony who would care is gone, and you had to find out somehow..." Trixie started to trail off as she got more and more embarrassed. "Yes. She is... correct," she said sheepishly.
"I'm sorry, what was that dear?" asked Rarity. Trixie could tell that Rarity could hear her but was making her say it louder. This gave Trixie a little more confidence to know that at least one pony in the room wasn't judging her, but it was still a touchy subject.
She looked around at the faces in the crowd and saw that all of them were looks of support, not judgement. Although she barely knew most of these ponies, she could tell that they really did consider themselves her friends. She spotted Lyra and Bon-Bon smiling encouragingly from the back of the crowd and it gave her the last confidence boost she needed. "I really do hope this isn't a terrible idea," she thought to herself.
"Yes. I'm a fillyfooler, and did enjoy the kiss as more than just a revenge stunt. As a matter of fact, the reason I came to Ponyville in the first place and the reason I came back is because I knew Twilight was here and I wanted to repair our relationship. At least enough to become friends again. If anypony here has a problem with my choices, well... this is my party, after all, so you can just leave," she said with more confidence than she thought she had. Trixie felt amazing, as if a huge burden had just been lifted from her shoulders. She felt... more free.
"Congratulations, Trixie, that was incredibly brave of you," applauded Rarity. "And don't worry about Twilight."
"Huh?" Trixie asked
"Oh, darling, it's obvious to everypony around that she doesn't quite trust you again yet. You can't tell me you didn't notice it yourself." Trixie nodded her head to signify that she had. "I'm just assuring you that with your new attitude, there's no possible way she continue distrusting you for long." Everypony in the room nodded their heads in agreement.
"Thanks for the encouragement, but... all Twilight does in try to ignore me nowadays. If I'm somewhere, she tries not to be there, if I do something, she'll have nothing to do with it. I'm sure it'll be a long time before she even comes close to trusting me..."
"Well, you have to talk to her of course! I'm quite sure she doesn't flat out ignore you when you’re speaking to her. Surely if you tell her you need to speak with her privately, she'll sit down and listen. And that'll give you a chance to apologize for your history, too, and then-"
"Apologize? Why would I be the one apologizing? I'm not the one who drove our friendship to extinction!"
"You embarrassed her in front of everypony she knew. And besides, there are always two sides to every story, and I’m sure and as far as Twilight knows, you're the one to blame." Trixie knew that Rarity was probably right. "Go talk to her. Right now would be a perfect time. Tell her your sorry and that you want to make things right. That would be a great start to repairing your relationship. She's up in her room, hiding from the cheesecake. Go." She smiled again. Trixie noticed that ponies smiled a lot here.
"Ok. I'll talk to her. Thanks for the advice, by the way, Rarity. I really do appreciate it."
"You're welcome. Now go, hurry, before she falls asleep. She absolutely dreads being woken up..."
As Trixie started to walk toward the staircase, she heard Rainbow say something about "setting the mood". Trixie wasn't sure what she meant, but, knowing Rainbow, it would be something wild or dangerous. "Nice lie about the reason you came to Ponyville both times being to ‘repair your relationship’. It won them over really well.”
Thanks, I likewise thought it was a masterpiece. Trixie, however, knew that most of her words tonight had been completely true.