Blinking, bleary eyed, Celestia looked up and saw three worried faces looking down at her. They were blurry, out of focus, and her eyes burned as sweat trickled into them. She was soaked through and through. She was laying on her back, legs all askew, and it began to filter into her mind that this was both an unflattering and unladylike position to be found in. Doubly so on a second date. She lay there, on her back, her legs sprawled out, showing off her undeniably delectable goodies, and could not help but feel a little embarrassed by everything.
“What happened?” Celestia’s voice sounded strange in her own ears. Dry, raspy, as though her throat was full of sand and gravel.
“Auntie, you fainted,” Cadance replied in what could only be described as a worried voice.
“I did not!” Celestia snapped, feeling unreasonably put out by the very idea of such a thing happening. She blinked her eyes, trying to get everything into focus. She shook her head and her wings fluttered against the ground.
“Auntie, you most certainly did.” Cadance gave her aunt an apologetic glance for contradicting her.
Celestia did not care for the matronly tone in Cadance’s voice. It annoyed her and left her feeling irritated. She grunted, kicked her legs around, and her dry tongue clove to the roof of her mouth. She tried to work up some spit, but her mouth stayed dry.
“I most certainly did not!” Celestia shook her head. “I have stared down the legions of Tartarus! I have faced Discord in battle! I have crushed mine enemies, driven them before me, and heard the lamentations of their females! I have smote the ruin of mine enemies upon the rocks! I have introduced mine enemies to the glorious wonders of orbital bombardment! And I most certainly did not faint!”
Shining Armor cleared his throat. “Majesty, you fainted. Of course, overheating might have contributed to that—”
“Yes, I was feeling quite hot,” Celestia admitted in a gritty, dry voice. She kicked her legs again, flapped her wings, and with titanic effort, she rolled herself over, smearing her white pelt with green grass stains. Rising in the most majestic manner she could muster, her wings flared outwards, she sent the two startled little stallions near her scattering to get out of her way.
Cadance, the brave one, stood her ground as her aunt rose up and gave herself a mighty shake. Bits of grass flew from Celestia as she shook and flapped her wings. Droplets of sweat flew like raindrops. Visible steam rose from her back, her neck, and her wings.
Feeling a little less than majestic, Celestia looked around, surveying her surroundings, looking for something, anything that might help her cool off. She saw a pond some distance away, there were benches, a hedge surrounded it on three sides, and the reflection of the colourful paper lanterns were visible upon the calm surface of the water.
Letting out what could only be described as a honk, Celestia stomped off for the water, no longer caring what anypony thought, her brain still feeling scrambled. Steam trailed from her as she strode away from the others and when she reached the water’s edge, she didn’t hesitate for a second—she lept right in with a splash and began wading out to deeper water.
She dunked her wings, soaking them, relishing the cool water against her fevered, sweaty skin. She was so hot, sweaty, and salty that her wingpits had become galded. She settled down in the water, floating, paddling with her legs, looking very much like a swan as she went for a swim.
Her head was down in the water when she heard another splash, which startled her. She tossed her head up with a gasp, the cool water running down her neck and looking like cascading diamonds in the lantern light. Looking over, she saw Gosling swimming in the pond with her, looking cool, calm, and collected.
In that moment, she knew that she loved him. She felt something powerful, something had twanged her string of destiny, and she knew it. It was like lighting a candle and banishing the darkness. She dove beneath the water for a moment, dunking herself completely, and then broke the surface of the pond once more, shaking her body and flapping her wings, trying to cool off her fevered, overheated body. She whipped out a wing and slung water at Gosling, completely soaking him as he paddled around beside her.
Cadance and Shining Armor were standing on the shore. Shining Armor looked worried—he was the perpetual guard, always defensive, always on duty—but Cadance was smiling.
“They look like two swans,” Cadance said, doing nothing to hide the laughter in her voice. “Look at them… tell me they don’t look like swans, Shining.”
Turning away, Celestia paddled around in a circle, enjoying the cool air and cooler water. The water soaked into hot, sweaty, sticky, itchy places and soothed them. Beside her, Gosling, looking like a much smaller swan, swam beside her. She smiled at him, her temper having cooled, and she felt better that she could be herself around him. Not fainting was a surefire way to ruin a date and Celestia was very, very glad that she had not fainted.
She was however, glad that Gosling had been enough of a gentle pony to catch her during her moment of not fainting. He appeared to be quite content to swim beside his monarch in some dirty duck pond in somepony’s private garden, and he did it with both the aplomb and panache that left Celestia adoring him.
“I suppose there are worse things to be called than ‘Swan Princess,’” Celestia said as she went still and floated in the water, her legs dangling limp beneath her. She shook her head around, causing her ears to flop around as she tried to get the water out.
“Gosling…”
“Yes, Celestia?”
“You should know… while I am an alicorn, I am still a pony. While immortal, I am not invulnerable. I have weakness. I am less than perfect. I am flesh and blood, of this there can be no doubt, and I have all of the shortcomings that come along with that.”
“Does this mean that you like having your back rubbed?” Gosling asked.
“Why, yes actually,” Celestia replied as a smile worked its way free and spread across her muzzle. She dunked her wings again and shivered as the cool water sapped the heat trapped in her feathers. She heard a splash behind her, and then a second splash. There was a shrill cry of protest.
Turning around, she saw Cadance wading through the water, tugging on Shining Armor’s tail and pulling him out into deeper water. Shining Armor let out a bleating sound of protest, but was powerless to resist Cadance’s bidding.
“So, uh, is this what the royals do when nopony is looking?” Gosling asked.
“Well, this is what this royal is doing right now,” Celestia replied, “and if I happen to feel like it, if the mood strikes me, I might very well do this again. Oh, this feels wonderful. I allowed myself to get too hot. My apologies, Gosling.”
“No reason to apologise, this is great. I love swimming.” Gosling grinned and watched as both Cadance and Shining Armor drew near. The colt allowed himself to drift closer to Celestia, all while looking very pleased with himself.
“Do you feel better?” Cadance asked as she drew closer, a worried smile upon her muzzle as she drew closer to her aunt. “You gave all of us quite a scare. Shining Armor was beside himself—”
“I was not,” Shining grumbled.
“Just like I didn’t faint,” Celestia said in a low whisper to Shining.
A hesitant smile appeared upon Shining Armor’s face, which became a grin as he bumped into Cadance in the water. Little equines, naturally buoyant, floated quite well in the water. Shining Armor, however, lacked wings and because of this, lacked the swan like appearance in the water that the rest of his companions had.
“The real credit goes to Gosling. He caught you and kept you from getting a bump on your nose. He never once panicked or lost his cool. I tell you, those guys in the signal corps are the most level headed ponies in a crisis that you will ever have the pleasure of meeting.” Shining Armor gave a nod to Gosling and then looked Celestia in the eye while raising his eyebrow. “He handled himself well in a crisis.”
“‘Twasn’t a crisis,” Celestia replied in a dismissive voice. She whipped out a soaking wet wing again—this time she sent a torrent of water at Shining Armor, almost tipping him over and sinking him.
“I offer my most sincere apologies if my handsome features caused you to swoon.” To Gosling’s credit, he said it with a straight face and never lost his composure. One eyebrow arched in a manner so perfect that it became obvious that the colt had been practicing it in a mirror.
There was a low snort as Celestia tried to hold back laughter, but she failed. A flood of giggling spilled from her lips and she could do nothing to make it stop. She felt her heart go pitter patter as she laughed.
“Equestria cannot afford to have its signal corps freezing up in time of a crisis,” Cadance said in conversational tones. “One of the many reasons I knew that Gosling was an almost perfect match.”
“Almost perfect?” Gosling and Princess Celestia both asked together.
“Well…” Cadance’s words trailed off and a curious smile graced her lips. She looked up at her aunt, then at Gosling, and then gave a sidelong glance to Shining Armor. “Gosling did have one request that I knew he would just have to face disappointment over.”
“And what would that be?” Celestia replied as she focused a curious stare upon her niece.
“Um, well, that’s kind of, uh…” Cadance began giggling and was unable to finish.
Raising her head, Celestia gave her niece a commanding, but amused stare. “I need to know. You have to tell me. Otherwise, I shall ask Gosling.”
“Uh…” Gosling’s brows furrowed as he tried to figure out what was going on. “She hates macaroni and cheese?”
“Nope.” Cadance grinned. “Auntie loves macaroni and cheese. She likes to eat it cold, with hot fried pickles.” Cadance gave her aunt a devious glance and then began to titter once more.
“I’m out of ideas,” Gosling admitted as he floated beside Celestia.
“Cadance?” Celestia’s brows wrinkled and laugh lines appeared in the corners of her eyes as she focused her commanding stare upon her niece. She waited, her nostrils flaring, and it was all she could do to hold back laughter. She hadn’t had this much fun for quite a while.
“Gosling, I’m so sorry,” Cadance said, apologising as she glanced at the colt beside Celestia. Cadance coughed and cleared her throat. “Private Gosling made it known that he wanted a mare that could, uh, well… he wanted a mare that could enunciate the alphabet while belching—”
There was a majestic honk from Celestia when she exploded with laughter.
“—and I kind of figured that he would just have to live with disappointment in that department.” Cadance’s grin became sheepish as she listened to the raucous laughter of her aunt. At least Celestia was enjoying herself and Cadance could not complain.
“Not only can I burp the entire Equestrian alphabet, but I can also belt out the entirety of the dragon alphabet.” Celestia’s eyes twinkled with merriment as she spoke and she delighted in seeing the shocked expressions upon both Cadance’s and Shining Armor’s face.
As for Gosling, he looked stunned, not shocked.
“Diplomacy. I had to make the dragons respect me. For my flawless performance, the dragons agreed to an extended peace treaty because they were so impressed.” Celestia allowed herself a self satisfied smile and her eyes narrowed. “I practice in the shower so I don’t get rusty. You never know when the dragons might get into one of their moods again.”
“Could you show me?” Gosling asked in a low, almost worshipful sounding whisper.
“Like right now?” Celestia replied. She understood that by doing this, she could prove that she was perfect for him. She always strove for perfection. She had a nagging suspicion that Gosling would prove perfect for her as well—Cadance was quite good at what she did.
“Auntie, no!” Cadance begged.
Ignoring her niece, Celestia drew in a deep breath and prepared the Royal Canterlot Voice for the impromptu concerto she was about to perform…