Nightmares haunted Twilight, her friends dying, the princesses sentencing her to a lifetime on the moon. But no matter what she did she could not awaken. All of a sudden, a bright light flashed. Once it cleared, she was stood in a dimly lit room.
“Well well.” A voice reverberated around the room.
“I-I remember you...” Twilight tried to see it.
“Who am I then?” The voice demanded, knowingly.
“You're another personality. From my MPD!” Twilight declared, trying to find her confidence,
“If that's what you believe...” it said, bored, before the whole room disappeared.
Twilight was slung back into the darkness, she snapped open her eyes only to see a bright light approaching, blinding her, forcing her eyes shut again.
Slowly Twilight opened her eyes again, she was in a white room, laid on a soft bed. The light was still too blinding to tell where she was. She tried to speak but all she managed was a cough.
“Oh, you're awake!” A voice said, and Twilight heard hooves darting out of the room.
When the owner of the new voice returned, she carried a cup of water. She held it to Twilight's lips and the purple unicorn drank it all in long, steady swallows. By the time she was done, her eyes had finally adjusted to the light.
“N-N-Nurse Redheart?” she called although it was too softly for the medical pony to hear.
The nurse walked towards the door “I'll let you rest, Twilight.” she left, closing the door carefully behind her.
She'd been gone all of a few seconds, Twilight not even having time to settle back on the pillows, when the door burst back open, framing the two princesses. They both walked towards Twilight their faces unreadable. This was not good... not good at all, in Twilight's opinion.
All three just stared at each other, but Twilight was the first to look away.
“What do you have to say for yourself, Twilight?” Luna asked, softly, but sternly.
“I'm sorry...” Twilight replied, but she wasn't exactly sure what she was sorry for anymore.
“You're sorry... You're sorry?" Luna paused for a brief second and then let fly, "IS THAT IT?! YOU NEAR CAUSED ME AND MY SISTER TO HAVE A HEART ATTACK AND ALL YOU SAY IS 'SORRY'?!” Luna raised her hoof and struck the lavander mare across the side of the face before stalking off.
Twilight raised her hoof to her face, not even daring to look at Celestia.
“She's just a bit distraught..." Celestia began, "Even though she doesn’t know you, she cares about you a lot.” A knowing twinkle appeared in Celestia’s eye, “She’ll come back eventually and she’ll apologize for that. She was so worried.”
“I’m sorry.” Was all Twilight could say, again, and her head sank further.
“Sorry for what?” Celestia asked, trying to inject her usual inference of 'what do you have to be sorry about, my faithful student' into the question,
“For being alive!” Twilight screamed as loudly as she could in her weakened state, a sickening feeling came over her, she rolled on her side and began coughing. She tried to stop the feeling of drooling, but her mouth was still twisted from coughing so hard. Blood poured in a thin stream onto the floor.
Celestia sighed, not worried so much after seeing the medical report, “That is to be expected from someone who shut off nearly all their organs, if you were not such a powerful magician, you’d have died after shutting off the first few.”
“Oh joy... I'm so powerful my magic even stops me dying!” Twilight replied sarcastically.
“That's quite enough of that." Celestia interrupted her student's diatribe, "You will rest up and I will see you in the morning.” Despite the positive attitude she tried to project, Celestia still looked slightly worried.
Twilight said nothing more, lay down in her bed and fell asleep.
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Luna walked among the streets muttering to herself she was annoyed... and worried... If she hadn’t found Twilight when she did, what would have happened? And the doctors said she still isn’t out of the woods, her organs could shut down again.
She sighed, laid down in the grass and closed her eyes. She didnt want to think anymore. She’d already raised the moon a few hours ago and she’d been with Celestia at Twilight's side most of the day. She hadn’t really slept at all. Her mind drifted onto happier subjects as she fell asleep.
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Luna awoke as the sun began to shine, people were staring. Well this is odd, why are they staring...? I know I slept on the grass but that's not enough to stare at...
Luna tried to roll over at this point and she immediately noticed two things. One: she wasn’t alone. Two: her sister's hooves were wrapped around her. They looked like a couple.
Luna's knee-jerk reaction made her teleport in panic, when she reappeared she’d only teleported a few meters away, her shortest teleport since... ever!
Celestia opened her eyes and looked at her sister a faint smile on her face. “I'm glad you're awake... did you enjoy last night?”
Luna turned bright red and stormed off, muttering to herself under her breath, leaving all the ponyfolk in shock.
Celestia smiled, That's just what we need to brighten the day, a bit of embarressment and laughter... she rolled over and stood up. Though I'd like to know why she slept on the grass... Looking up, she gave a knowing smile. Just above her was the balcony. If a pony, lets say a purple mare, stood on it and looked down, she'd have seen them.
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Twilight lay in bed, looking up at the ceiling, feeling terrible. She didn’t like being bed-ridden and she definitely didn’t like the princesses mad at her... but they didn't understand... And the way Luna acted...! Twilight shook her head Luna doesn't even know me, and yet she was worried for me... why? She was determined to find out.
As Twilight thought, her mind wandered through the many people on her mind, to her friends she no longer had, to the princess who she had failed and the princess who had struck her. Her thoughts stayed longest on princess Luna, sending jolts of anger, sorrow and... longing? Twilight remembered cold nights stood outside on the balcony watching the moon and stars, the way she felt at peace... she had fallen in love with the night. And through the night, perhaps, she had fallen in love with Luna... but maybe it was just her organs kickstarting themselves again.
Twilight hoped she'd forget the matter before she left the hospital.
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The next few days passed quickly, both princesses came to see her frequently, and although Luna didn't talk much, Twilight was happy to have her there. However her friends never came. Each time the door opened and her friends didn't enter was like a knife through her heart, cold and painful.
She had resigned herself to not seeing them again when the door burst open and in hurtled a pink ball of fluff who immediently began smothering her.
"P-Pinkie Pie?!" She choked out,
Pinkie just sobbed into her coat "W-w-we thought... that y-y-yo... Oh. Twilight I'm happy you're ok!"
Twilight could only lie there trying to console the pink pony as her other friends wandered in.
"H-H-Hey Twilight..." Dash said looking sheepish.
Twilight looked at Dash she eyes tearing up slightly "Dash I didn't mean what I said! I'm so-"
Dash cut her off, "Don't mention that word you've said it enough."
Twilight felt in higher spirits with her friends there.
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The next day she was dismissed from hospital and Twilight went home to the library. So happy to be back among the familiar smells and quiet of the books, she didn't even notice both princesses sitting at the dining room table when she first walked by. She turned back and looked at them. Then rubbed her eyes and looked again.
"Yes, Twilight we're really here." Celestia observed, her tone quiet but amused. Laughter wasn't easy at the moment, her love for Twilight and her horror over what she tried to do were fighting each other behind her calm facade. Celestia looked over at her sister, she could tell Luna was feeling something very similar.
"AH! P-p-princess! W-w-why are you both here?" Twilight asked trying to recover from her initial shock.
"Because, Twilight we both wished to see you and we wanted to talk to you." Celestia gave her a serious look.
"Oh... right... about?" Twilight replied, trying to put off the inevitable.
Luna was fed up and anger won over "Gee... let's try about why you were in hospital for four weeks! How about why you tried to kill yourself!" And she finally broke down. She tried to hide the tears that she had managed to keep inside for all this time.
Twilight just stared in shock at the crying princess "I-Im sorry..." It was an automatic response by now.
"Is that all you can say, you stupid foal? You tried to kill yourself! Why would you try that!?" Luna's anger was all the worse for the streaks of her tears.
Twilight just stared, struck dumb. Her pain and loneliness, days, weeks of feeling like she was going insane, losing her friends, losing Spike, all because of her own inability to control herself, everything came crashing back in the face of the anger and tears of the moon princess. And with that opening, the voice emerged from the darkest parts of Twilight's mind. Anger, fear, pain!
This is it! I can use this! I might be able to retain control of her for longer than ever. The voice whispered to itself
Oh please not at the princesses! I already lost my friends, lost them twice! PLEASE NOT THE PRINCESSES!! Twilight felt her mind slipping away once more, retreating, taking a back seat to a new driver. And again, even though she could see, she had no control over what was about to happen.
"What does it matter to you?" Twilight said quietly, eyes now meeting Luna's and Celestia's with fury mounting higher and higher, "WHAT DOES IT MATTER TO YOU!! YOU'RE NOTHING TO ME, NOTHING!! JUST TWO SILLY PRINCESSES! YOU THINK YOU'RE BETTER THEN EVERYONE ELSE, BUT YOU'RE NOT! YOU'RE JUST THE SAME! JUST AS WORTHLESS!" Twilight stormed out of the library magic slamming the door behind her. Her eyes once more the wicked, slit-pupilled, green orbs that had flashed at her friends.
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The princesses sat there, dumb struck, staring after the mare they thought they'd known.
"What just happened, Luna?" Celestia asked
"I-I think... she wasn't imagining those MPD episodes." Luna ventured. Although she couldn't be sure, Twilight's eyes had looked strange, different, if only the unicorn hadn't stormed off before she'd had a chance to look closer.
"I think it's best if we... maybe we should leave her alone for the time being."
Luna nodded her agreement and they left too, leaving the library silent and empty behind them.
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Twilight awoke at the bottom of a ditch. Which was a first. Her body ached all over, but her back left leg in particular felt as if it was on fire. She lifted her head and examined it only to see the leg twisted at an odd angle.
W-W-What happened last night? All I remember was yelling at the princesses then... nothing!
Twilight called forth her magic and examined her leg. Lets see not a break... just a dislocation and a twist... this is going to hurt.
Twilight used her magic to untwist the joint and crack it back into place, as the joint reconnected she let out a loud scream.
"That bucking hurt..." she hissed to herself.
She stood up, with difficulty not putting much weight on her back left leg, she slowly made her way back towards ponyville.
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Half an hour later, Twilight reached the library, opened the door and collapsed on a cushion. She couldn't make it upstairs, it would be impossible in her condition. She groaned as her leg throbbed repeatedly.
The voice muttered to itself darkly in the confines of Twilight's subconscious. Thirty three seconds... even though it was over the usual mark it was still poor... if she had been a bit more careful they wouldn't have taken that dive and she might have been in control longer... She's starting to fight back... I'll just have to crush the fight out of her next time.
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Twilight lay there using her magic to massage the limb, all was quiet apart from her moans and hisses when she hit a spot too hard. She leaped in the air and jarred her leg badly when her door was kicked open again framing the Royal Pony Sisters themselves.
"Uh-oh," she muttered to herself, "this can't be good."
Both princesses looked utterly bucked off at the young mare.
"What do you have to say for yourself?" Celestia's one visible eye was frowning at Twilight,
"And it better not be another 'I'm sorry'." Luna added
Twilight sighed, at least this time she could explain herself, "I didn't mean what I said. I was just stressed, I was sad and frustrated." Twilight put her head n her hooves closed her eyes, whatever punishment they were going to give, they could give it. She'd been out of control, and they were the princesses...
"I see you managed to injure yourself. Again. So how did this one happen?" Luna asked, casting a concerned glance over the visibly bruised area on Twilight's flank.
"To tell you the truth, I don't know, I must've blacked out." Twilight replied, eyes open again, but deliberately not looking at either sister.
"Well, may as well add it to the list." Luna told her
"The list of what?" Twilight inquired, curiosity getting the better of her and looking up to meet midnight eyes that were full of resigned, wry mirth.
"The list of things that make you stupid, yet cute." Luna clapped her hoof over her mouth. She'd said it out loud!
Twilight looked non-plussed. Did she just say what I thought she said...? The question left her utterly confused.
Celestia tried to keep a straight face, but found it exceedlingly hard. Looks like you've landed yourself in a spot of trouble, sister, Celestia snickered, keeping her mask of calm as firmly in place as she could.
Oh buck... was all Luna thought. "Anyway... We still need to talk, despite what happened before, you still didn't answer my question... why would you try to kill yourself, Twilight?"
Twilight sighed again, all positivity just seemed to drain from her, leaving her limp and lifeless to look at. "I lost everything precious to me... everything. Think of it as a puzzle you can't solve... it's easy to get infuriated and say it's impossible and it's easy to throw it away... but it's also easy to sit down and give up and never try again. I guess I was so sick of yelling at my friends, and driving them away, that I just wanted all of it to stop, to give up." The tone of Twilight's voice made it clear that she was being completely honest, and completely serious.
Luna just stared at her unsure of what to say. In a way she's right... I remember the exact same feeling...
"I... see." was all Celestia would say, and with that they sat opposite the little purple unicorn, each lost in thought.
All three of them sat in silence unsure what to say until a cyan blue pegasus crashed through the window. In an amazing turn of form, the window didn't break, instead it was smashed, frame and all, from the wall. Rainbow had time to pull her face from the glass in mid-air before the frame landed on the floor, slid across the room like a skate-board and stopped so suddenly against the foot of a bookshelf that Dash's head wedged in between the shelves.
Pulling her head free, Dash tumbled backwards off the window frame. She quickly got up and looked at Twilight hoping not to get yelled at again.
"Heh... sorry." Dash told them, drawing in the imaginary dust on the floor. Only then did the glass panes of the window crack and fall from the frame.
The princesses looked shocked, wide eyed with disbelief, but soon mastered their expressions.
Twilight, however, didn't move. "I-Its fine Rainbow Dash..." She replied.
Rainbow Dash, making herself as small as possible, quickly walked to the door and then left in a blur of rainbow contrail.
"Well that was... weird." Celestia and Luna said together.
"She does that a lot. Not quite so spectacularly, but fairly often." A ghost of a smile appeared on Twilight's face at the compounded memories. The smile slowly faded as she remembered the last words she'd said to Rainbow Dash before she tried to kill herself.
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“WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM RAINBOW CRASH?! WHY CAN'T YOU USE A DOOR LIKE ANY NORMAL PONY?!” “OH LOOK, THE FIRST AND ONLY GAY PRIDE PONY CAN’T EVEN SPEAK! YOU'RE PATHETIC! GET OUT OF MY SIGHT YOU EXCUSE OF A PEGASUS!!”
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Twilight hadn't realized she was crying until she felt a princess settle down on either side of her.
"What is wrong, Twilight?" Luna asked.
"Tell us, and maybe we can help." Celestia added.
Their nearness was comforting, but at the same time made her want to cry even more, "Unless you can turn back time and make ponies forget. I dont think you can. I've said some horrible things to my friends... stuff they didn't need to hear, stuff that hurt them..." Without thinking about it too much, Twilight told the two princesses about everything that had happened up until the moment she had tried to kill herself.
Celestia nodded before she stood up, "Come Luna, we have much we must discuss."
Luna stood up and headed towards the door with her sister.
"Don't worry Twilight," Luna tried to reassure the lavender mare, "we'll get this whole mess straightened out." But Twilight looked like she didn't believe any of it.
"I'll be fine... I think." She tried to give them a reassuring smile, she didn't think it had worked.
As soon as they left Twilight stood up, shakily. She went down into the basement, to the far back wall, and opened a small dusty cabinet back there. Taking a brown paper bag with her, she hobbled back upstairs to the living room and placed it on the table.
"I promised myself I wouldn't do this again, but right now I dont care." She took out a bottle of hard apple spirits, grabbed a glass from the kitchen with magic, and settled back onto the floor cushion with everything in easy reach. She stared into the fireplace and downed shot after shot until she reduced herself into a drunken, but dreamless, sleep.
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Luna and Celestia walked together through the empty streets of Ponyville.
"So what business must we discuss?" Luna broke the silence.
"Not here," Celestia cautioned, "when we're in private."
They arrived at the only real place in Ponyville for visitors to stay, a small inn on one of the meandering streets, where they'd been offered rooms for the duration of their stay by the kindly owner. Well, the advertising from having both royal sisters staying at his inn for more than a month was probably his real compensation for the use of a single room. Luna closed the door while Celestia cast a muffling spell, just incase any unwanted ponies tried to listen in.
"Theres something wrong with Twilight," Celestia began,
"So I've noticed." Luna replied,
"Somepony needs to keep a eye on her while I find a way to fix the situation." Celestia said, looking her sister in the eye.
"Yes, but who? She already worries so much about shouting at her friends." Luna looked at her sister slightly worried.
"Luna... when I say I need somepony, I do not mean somepony else... I mean I need you to watch over her." Celestia placed a hoof on her sister's chest.
"ME?! Wha- why me?" Luna balked, startled, "Don't you need help to find a cure for this?"
"It's not that I don't want your help, Luna, but it's important that one of us is here and not involve anypony else. It's simple really, you have a better excuse to stay than me and, well, it's quite obvious you find her attractive." Celestia said a hint of a smile on her face.
"You find her attractive too!" Luna shot back defensively.
"True, but you still have a better excuse." Celestia stated calmly a hint of a smile on her face, though she tried to look aloof.
"And what might that be?" Luna asked, irritated now,
"Simple... I sent you here to make friends." Celestia rolled back a smile on her face.
"Fine…but Tia, perhaps we should re-link our minds so we can share thoughts while we are apart. It would be quicker than having me teleport back every time, and safer than writing a letter. As soon as I learn something, you'll learn it too." Luna suggested, thinking carefully.
"Good idea, but we'll do it before I leave in the morning, right now I want to sleep." Celestia replied, she covered a yawn with an elegant hoof, but it still set Luna off in turn.
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Twilight woke up in the afternoon, her head was throbbing, but at least she'd had a peaceful night's sleep, she rolled over and went into the bathroom, but closed her eyes when a nauseated feeling overtook her she ran towards the toilet, bent down and threw up.
Later, she lay on the floor again, reading her books. The pounding in her head worse, but at least her stomach was empty. She closed her eyes tightly as the door was opened and slammed shut.
"DONT BE SO LOUD!" she yelled. As soon as the words left her mouth she regretted them. Her head throbbed worse than ever and her stomach felt like it was going to make her throw up again, with nothing there to throw up.
"Looks like someone's had a rough night." Luna said with a small giggle.
Twilight groaned "Not now, please, my head hurts."
"I'm not surprised..." She'd spotted the apple spirit bottle under the table, "especially if you drained the whole bottle." Luna reproached.
"Never again." Twilight stated. She closed her eyes and tried to clear her mind.
"Uhm, Twilight? I have a favour to ask. Is it okay if I stay here with you for a while?" Luna asked, trying to make it casual, a blush creeping on her face.
"What? Why?" Twilight asked, not processing things fast enough yet.
"Well Celestia wants me to try and make friends in Ponyville... seeing as she's the only one I have... And, well, she told me to ask you if you'd let me... stay here." Luna replied the blush becoming deeper from embarrassment and the look Twilight was giving her with her dishevelled bed-mane.
Please just say no Twilight, please say no.
"Sure," Twilight said, giving up all pretense, "welcome to the library."
Buck! Luna thought, Now I've got no excuse... Sister, you'll pay for this.
"Wonderful," Luna smiled genuinely, as much to convince herself as anything. Although nagging fears about staying with Twilight still pulled in her mind; she'd brought her diary with her from the castle, she'd never live it down if Twilight found it while Luna was a guest in her house.
"Lemme show you around." Twilight said as she stood up, the night's sleep had done wonders for her injured leg and tender as it was, she could at least handle the stairs.
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With Luna staying, Spike at last returned. He'd been miserable for weeks, hiding out at one friend or another's, and pining for all the things he missed about home. But as much as he loved Twilight, he had been even less willing to face her anger and shouting than her friends. The reunion with Twilight had been tearful, and with many promises to not let something like this come between them again, and, happier than he had been in a month, Spike settled back into his routine.
Luna smiled at Twilight they were sat at the table while Spike was in the kitchen cooking. Having arrived home half way through the tour, interrupting it for more than an hour, he'd started making dinner and was almost finished. Luna suspected that Celestia was sticking her hooves into the situation a little, considering how promptly he'd arrived.
The little dragon emerged with a big pot of carrot and mushroom soup. He placed it on the table and dished out three generous portions passing one to Luna and one to Twilight.
"So has Canterlot changed much since I was last there?" Twilight asked
"Not really... it's all new to me now, when I was last here we lived in the castle that stands in the Everfree Forest, Canterlot is much different. I'd say, though, that it's still the same as when you left, full of the nobility and ponies who want to be nobility." And full of trolls Luna thought.
Twilight's answer was interrupted as Spike belched green flame, a note forming in front of them. Opening it with magic and beginning, she smiled a familiar smile at getting a letter from her mentor in the usual way. But as she read on, her brow crinkled slightly.
"Say Luna... who or what is 'Lunacy'?" Twilight looked at the princess.
Luna's eyes went wide and she spat her soup out, "W-w-what?!"
"It says right here, 'P.S. Luna, the link is still active... I heard that comment. Shall I tell Twilight about Lunacy maybe?' then... the last bit's been erased with magic." Twilight replied, curiosity plain in her speech, and when she finished she met the midnight princess' panicked eyes.
Luna looked utterly shocked. Oh horseapples I forgot about that! "Lunacy is an old nickname given to me by Celestia." She was proud of the way her voice didn't waver at all.
Before Twilight could ask more, Luna vanished in a 'poof' of magic, a night-blue cloud billowing where she'd been briefly.
I'll get you for that Celestia!
No, you won't... Lunacy!