//------------------------------// // Chapter 5: Part 3: The Earth Pony Eulogies // Story: The First Equestrian Games. // by S. K. RyDer //------------------------------// “And we’re back with Mister Mandarin Orange.” Smiles grinned, his face still slightly green, “So, Orange, what exactly is going--” “I want to go home. Back to my wife and daughter.” Smiles’ face fell, “I’m sorry.” “I never signed up for this. I was forced at horn point by a guard to enter my name eighteen times.” “Yeah, about that.” “And further still, when I started, I thought it was going to be a great honor to participate. But then I found the true intentions behind these. They’re--” “I am sorry Mandarin Orange, but it appears we are out of time.” He set the timer back down, “Mandarin Orange.” The stallion started, galloping right off stage. “Now, next up is the stallion that specializes in time and time-based accessories. Things aren’t as they seem with this guy. Give it up for Doctor Whooves!” The crowd went wild as the Time Lord made his way onstage, his nappy brown mane ruffled in the breeze. “Evening Doctor.” Smiles shook the stallion’s hoof. “Evening.” Doctor Whooves sat, his blue eyes sparkling in the evening air. “So, you share something in common with Prince FoxTrot, am I right?” “And what do you mean by that?” The Tile Lord leaned in, eyeing the white Unicorn next to him. “Well, neither of you were born in Equestria, right?” Tennant sighed, “Well, maybe on that account, yes.” Smiles gave a characteristic grin. “Well, my dear doctor; if I recall correctly, you were born in a small city called Neighbridge, right?” “Yes.” “And, unless I am mistaken, FoxTrot was born in Treyville. A stone’s throw from Neighbridge’s city limits.” The doctor’s eyes widened, “I never knew that.” “Anyway,” Smiles snapped into a sitting position, “What kind of tactics are you planning in the arena?” “I’m going to find a nice tree, hide in it, and wait until it’s down to me and the final contestant.” Doctor Whooves snorted, “Thirty-five ponies? Come on! I can’t wrap my head around all them, and I have three different degrees in math and science!” “I hear you, my friend.” Smiles stood, shaking the doctor’s hoof one last time, “Doctor Whooves Everypony.” “I’ll be back soon my love!” Doctor turned away from the camera as Smiles chuckled. “That’s two. So, the next one up is the sturdy lumberjack from Las Pegasus. He’s been raised in the fine arts of logging, and I think he’ll be of use in the arena. Here’s Forrest Worker!” The stallion trotted forward, a scarlet pony at his side. They both smiled, standing on either side of the interview chair. “You two do everything together?” Smiles turned, gesturing to somepony off camera, “Your drawing was syndicated too.” “Well, we’re twins.” Scarlet nodded, “Even though he’s been logging since he got his cutie mark, and I’ve taken crafts elsewhere,” she gestured to the necklace adorning her rump, “We’ve never been apart.” “That’s why when we were filling our slips out, we took half of them and attached them. We figured ‘if one goes in, why shouldn’t the other?’” Their host shook his head, “You two are lucky that it’s FoxTrot behind these and not Celestia or Cadance.” “That’s why we did it.” Scarlet grinned, “Because that suck-up of a prince is too kind to turn us down.” Smiles took a step back, “Well, Forrest and Scarlet Worker everypony.” The two bowed, trotting off stage in perfect sync. “This filly,” Smiles coughed, “Um. I can’t read his hoofwriting.” “My name is Ress.” The young pony trotted out, “And the introductions aren’t important. It’s the actual interview.” “Well, Ress, how old are you?” “I’ll be five this October.” “Hmm. Well, what do you do on a normal day?” Smile’s face fell. “Well,” the filly’s face screwed up in concentration, “I usually wake up and have breakfast, going right off to pre-school where Miss Cherry Pie teaches us the colors and alphabet and stuff like that. “Then I come home and play with my dog for a bit, have lunch, then work with my mommy in the Music Shop.” “Your mom’s in music? What’s the store?” Smiles whipped a notepad out, ready to write a name down. “Vinyl Scratch’s DJ Rental and records.” Smile’s aura vanished, his pen falling to the floor. “You’re mother is Vinyl Scratch? As in Dee Jay Pon-Three Vinyl Scratch?” “Yeah.” Ress looked up, “Gimme your address and I’ll have my mommy send you an autographed album.” Smiles grinned; “Here” He scribbled something on the pad, handing it to the filly, “Ress Scratch Everypony.” The young filly blushed as a cacophony of cheers saw him off the stage. Smiles rubbed his ears, “Now, from Fillydelphia comes the Iron Pony champion for three years running! Weighing in at 50 pounds and benching 500, here’s Mordrid!” A stallion trotted forward, looking no more powerful than any other stallion. But that air of strength still emanated from him nonetheless. “So, Mordrid, what with all the championships you’ve been wining, this’ll be a snap.” “Yah.” He nodded, “Ah’m realle egg-cited to be a part of zeez games this yeah.” Smiles gave a pseudo-encouraging smile, “And how far do you expect to go in them?” “I hope, not egg-spect, to be ze vinnuh in zem.” He rested his head on his hoof, “But I vill not be disappoint in the act of mah fayl-yer.” Trying to work his way through the accent, Smiles still nodded, “And of all the things of which you want to do if you do win?” “Ah vant to propose to zat bee-yew-tee-full mare I see across ze street from ze gym-naz-ee-yum.” “The gymnasuim?” “Yah. She’s so pretty vith her red mane blowing in ze wind. Her sapphire eyes make me hart stop cold, and her lips are always cherry red. Mah favorite colah.” “I see.” Smiles lied, “And what are you going to try in the arena?” “I VANT TO VIN!” he roared, “I VILL NOT LET ZIZ BEE-YEW-TEE-FULL CREATURE SLIP FROM MAH HOOVES!” “Mordrid everypony!” Smiles frantically, gesturing the heaving strong-pony. “Mordrid!” The stallion bowed, and then trotted off as Smiles wiped his brow. “Whoof. Well.” He took a deep breath, “Next up is the only stallion in Appleloosa that is capable of taking a full-grown buffalo head on with nothing more than a freshly baked apple pie. Let’s hear it for Sherriff Silver Starr!” The stallion trotted forward, his grin massive under his handlebar mustache. “Thank yeh kindly Smalls.” “My pleasure, Sherriff. Full grown Buffalo? Really?” “Yah, yeh see now, when I managed to take the buffalo, bigger than y’all, ah was brave and courageous. None of that namby-pamby shaking in mah boots like mah deputy was. That buffalo charged me from what musta been fifty yards away. He snorted and singled me out right then and there. Ah took mah barrel of apples, aimed, and letter roll lahk there was no tomorrow. “Tha’ didn’t work, so ah turns to mah deputy and sez, ‘what we do now’, an’ he sez, ‘flee sherrif?’ an’ I sez, ‘fleein’ a’int an option. Do you know what is?’ an’ he sez, ‘what?’ an’ I sez, ‘fightin’ I sez ‘fightin’s always an option.’ An’ by then, the buffalo’s mighty close, so I snatch up his half-eaten pie, and I toss that thing as if t’were nothing more than a stone. An’ WHACK! Got that buffalo right between the eyes.” “Ever since then, buffalo’s came to respect the badge of Silver Starr, lest they receive the same treatment that--” “Sherriff Silver Starr everypony.” Smiles started, helping the stallion up, “Thank you for the story Sherriff. Mighty interesting.” “Mah pleasure young’n.” Smiles wiped his eyes and yawned, “Now, here’s the lovely and unique pony who knows more than any other pony knows about anything fictional. Here’s Minuette!” The mint blue pony trotted from the curtains at a slow gallop, excitement flooding her face. “Minuette.” Smiles shook her hoof, “How are you doing?” “I’m pretty good, considering.” She waved a hoof, “Same ol’ same ol’ otherwise.” “Considering what, if I may ask?” “My sister’s pregnant and I’m the only female in her life. And I haven’t had a single filly, so I have to do all this research to make sure that the filly will grow okay.” “You too?” “Me too what?” “You’ve got a pregnancy in your life? Small world. My mother-in-law, sister, and wife all are due within three days of each other.” “What days?” “The eight, eleventh, and fourteenth of May.” “No way! I’m doe the fifteenth!” “Wow.” Smiles chuckled, “What a week that will be for the Canterlot Hospital.” “Who are they anyway?” “Oh, you probably have heard of them.” Smiles waved a hoof, “Just Twilight Sparkle, Trixie Lulamoon and Fluttershy respectively.” Minuette’s face fell, “You’re married to Fluttershy?” “That I am Minnie.” Smiles face fell too, “that I am.” The two sat in silence, the crowd not knowing why they were suddenly quiet. The timer rang especially loud, all ponies hitting the roof. “Minuette everypony!” Smiles gestured, whispering something to the mare. “And now we’ve got a sweet pony. Both in personality and profession. She’s happily married, has a mare, and manages to make ends meet plus some. Here’s Bon Bon!” The mare trotted forward, her face red in a blush. She gave an embarrassed grin, then took her seat. “So, Bon bon--” “Call me Bonnie. That’s what I’m called by my friends.” “And you consider me your friend?” “Of course. This is the only time I’ll be on country television. So why not consider you on my friends list? It’s what I do.” He mirrored her smile, “Well, I have to say, you ponies in Ponyville tend to be kinder than anybody else I knew. So, if I may ask, who’s the one you call love?” “Promise not to laugh?” Bon Bon’s cheeks flushed again, “Please?” “I promise.” She sighed, “Her name is Lyra Heartstrings.” “’Her?’” She buried her face in her hooves, “Yes, I am married to a mare. So what? You’re married to your sweetheart, why can’t I?” “I never said that was a bad thing.” “But then there’s Celestia and Twilight. Who knows what goes on between them.” “Um, as I said, Twilight’s my mother-in-law.” “Yeah. And you’re Princess Celestia’s son, right?” “No. I’ve been adopted by FoxTrot. My sister Trixie is also adopted.” “Oh. So you probably think I’m estranged?” “I have my father’s view on relationships.” He cleared his throat, imitating FoxTrot’s voice accurately, “’I could care less whether you marry a male or female. The only thing that matters is that you find the one right for you.’” Bon Bon smiled, “Well, you’re a first.” “I’m just kind like that. Like my father. Bon Bon Heartstrings everypony.” Bon Bon blushed again, trotting off the stage. “Please welcome Germaine!” The young dark blue mare trotted out, her white mane betraying her shaking emotions. “Germaine.” Smiles lifted the young mare into her chair, “Are you okay?” “I want my mommy.” “I’m sorry, there’s nothing that can be done.” “I want my mommy!” Smiles gave a warm smile, “Your mom can see you right now. Did you know that?” She shook her head, “I want to see her.” “Why don’t you say something to her? She can hear you.” “I don’t want her to see mee!” she stomped her hoof, “I want to see HER!” Smiles picked the crying Pegasus up, “I’m sorry Germaine.” He held her close where she felt oddly comforted. There was a small pause, “Hey, want to hear something?” Germaine sniffed, wiping her nose with her hoof. She nodded. “When I was young, I lost my mommy at a store. She left me there for TWO WHOLE DAYS. Two days!” “Two days?” Germaine’s yellow eyes widened, “That’s a long time!” “A very long time. I thought she abandoned me. But when she came back, she cried almost as much as I did. I know how you feel.” He pulled her close, whispering something in her ear. She grinned, jumping from his lap. Smiles nodded at her, then stood. “Germaine everypony” “Now, from Fillydelphia comes Miss Pot Throw!” The mare trotted forward, her blue eyes sparkling with a mixture of fear and excitement. She smiled, leaning into Smiles as he shook his head. “So, Pot Throw.” He sat down in his chair, “What exactly do you do?” She blushed, “What does it seem like? I make pots form clay. I’m a potter.” “Ah. So, what do you plan to do in the arena?” “Utilize my knowledge of the earth and try to stay at the top.” “And if that fails?” “Then I’ll use it to hide. Simple as that.” She gave a swift nod, “Like a badger? Nopony can find any of their dens or burrows.” “So you’re going to hide if you can’t do anything else?” He placed his right hoof on her chair. “If you can’t beat them, show weakness.” She smiled, “Then they’ll feel to guilty to attack or tease you.” “Sound advice.” Smiles rolled his eyes, “Pot Throw everypony.” “And finally, we have a pony who does everything in her power to cultivate life and culture both, taking a role of a teacher in Manehattan, which is no easy feat. Please welcome Lilly” The young pale blue mare trotted out, her spectacles perched on the tip of her nose. “So, I take it you’re used to the title ‘Miss Lilly?’” “That I am.” Her nasally voice made Smiles’ ears twitch, “I’ve been teaching for almost ten years now. And I still love each and every filly that comes in my door to learn.” “And how many is that?” “Well,” she tapped her hoof on the floor, “I’ve had an average of fifteen fillies in each class, with two classes a year for nine and a quarter years. Which is--” “Two hundred and seventy young fillies.” Smiles ticked out, “Two-seventy.” Germaine blinked, “Well, that was quick.” “My dad said I was a prodigy. I was only nine when I lost my vision, and I made my first pair of goggles shortly thereafter. But I was building and tinkering massive weapons beforehand.” “Wow. I’ve never heard of a Pony Prodigy before.” “They exist. So, due to your being a teacher, I assume you’re using your advanced-grade smarts to try to come out on top?” “Yeah.” She nodded, her gasses falling from her face, “Yeah, I hope so.” “Miss Lilly everpony.” She winked at Smiles. “Now, the games will air first thing tomorrow morning. Viewing is mandatory. And remember, what you will see is happening. Live. No special effects, no last minute editing. None of that. If it happens, you WILL see it. “Good Night everypony, and sweet dreams!”