“Ah don‘t think you understand me mister. We’re here on important business and we gotta see the ambassador!” It had been a little over an hour since the duo of Puddinghead and Smart Cookie had arrived at the Earth Pony embassy. Most of that time had been spent arguing with the guards, a mixed outfit of Earth Ponies and Unicorns who stubbornly ignored almost all pleas from Cookie to allow them into the room.
“Miss, we were instructed to let no one in, and that means YOU! Now take your little pink buddy and go wait in the library. This is the last time I’m saying this before I have you thrown out completely!” the guard snarled, nodding his head towards a door to their left. Cookie turned to Puddinghead, who was rummaging through an umbrella stand. The pink pony’s flank stuck out, and swung back and forth as she dug. Cookie snickered at the sight of it.
“Puddin’head-, “Cookie began, but looked at the guard, who was frowning at her breach of protocol. “Uh...Ah mean Madame Delegate it is mah duty to inform you that we must retire to the library.” Cookie said, standing at false attention and pointing stiffly towards the library. Puddinghead surfaced and looked at her quizzically, but shrugged and walked off bouncily. Cookie’s façade satisfied the guards, who at long last ceased watching her. She sighed and sidled up to her friend.
“Those guards need a drink or sumthin’,” she whispered. Puddinghead giggled and nodded.
They reached the door and opened it, its’ hinges creaking loudly as it did so. As they entered the library, the rich smell of parchment and ink filled their nostrils. The warm glow of several candles illuminated the room, revealing hundreds and hundreds of books on wall to wall bookshelves. Daylight also streamed in from small windows ringing the circular roof, making the room feel more open. Their eyes were drawn, however, to a hooded figure seated at the table directly in front of them. It was poring over a book, with a large pile of books unread in front of her. The purple glow enveloping the pages as they turned gave her away as a unicorn. Cookie began to approach the figure cautiously, while Puddinghead darted over to a shelf and began looking at books.
“Uh, hello?” Cookie said tentatively. The pony kept reading. “Hello!”Cookie repeated, a bit louder and with a friendlier tone. The pony jumped back, absentmindedly dropping her current book.
“Aaah! Who? What? I am trained in magic and will not hesitate to transfigure you!” it said, with a mare’s voice. The mare threw back her hood and looked at her opponent through violet eyes, her horn lowered and aglow with purple light.
“Hold on there, ahm just tryin’ to be friendly. No reason to get violent and start turnin’ ponies into toads.” Cookie said with a nervous laugh, throwing her hooves up defensively. The unicorn lowered her head, her horn losing its’ purple glow. Cookie sighed with relief and smiled. “Mah name is Smart Cookie, personal assistant to Ambassador Gray Rock and babysit-…uh…minder of Delegate Puddinghead.” The mare gave her an inquisitive look, and Cookie turned and pointed at the politician. “That’s her over there,” Cookie said awkwardly. The unicorn followed the orange ponies’ hoof and gaped when she saw the Delegate, who was balancing three books on each hoof and 2 on her nose, all while hopping on one foot. The pink politician tried to wave, but toppled over in a heap of parchment and ink. Cookie stared blankly at her companion.
“Would you believe she’s the candidate for Vice-Chancellor?” Cookie said flatly. The purple mare shook her head, and busied herself with organizing the books that had fallen off of the delegate.
“My name is Clover, and I am normally Princess Platinum’s advisor on prestidigitations and conjuration,” she said with an annoyed look on her face. “However, these talks are of utmost importance to his vociferous majesty King Krypton. Therefore I have been sent to assist in the deliberations, against my will of course.” She added, scowling at a green book she had picked up like it was its' fault. “Unfortunately those guards won’t let me in to do my job! I’ve been in here reading some earth pony literature. It’s quite fascinating, especially how your electoral process works.” She said, gesturing to the pile of books behind her. Cookie beamed and grabbed a book that caught her eye, with a red cover and gold inlays.
“Ooh! Have you read this? It’s “The Hydra” by Thomas Hooves! It’s one of mah favorite books on earth pony political theory!” the politico-pony said with a grin. Clover nodded in response and walked over to a smaller blue book lying to her left.
“Why yes, I liked it too! However I prefer-“SLAM! Clover was interrupted by the door being thrown open as a well dressed unicorn walked in. Her jagged blue mane was swept to one side, and she had a set of violet spectacles set at the end of her nose. Her tail twitched with agitation.
“Hey, Clover. We’re leaving this earth pony hovel, heading back to the princess.” She said in a clipped manner. Cookie felt her heart sink. Deliberations of this level of importance don’t just end, something must have gone wrong. Puddinghead was too busy with her book fort to participate, but Clover walked up to the ambassador, cutting off her path to the door.
“Ambassador, surely that’s not the end. Two days is not enough to make any progress. There’s never been a crisis of this magnitude, and deliberation is necessary.” Clover pleaded. She no longer had the presence of an accomplished wizard, but seemed more of a confused foal.The ambassador glared at her angrily.
“Don’t you think I know that?! I was told get the food back, no matter the cost. I did that, and man…..we got bucked. ” The ambassador said, shaking her head. Cookie’s surprise doubled as the ambassador talked. Her speech was almost as informal as Puddinghead’s. She began to wonder whether all politicians were nuts, or just the ones she kept running into.
“Madame Ambassador, what did we lose?” Clover asked a hint of dread in her voice. The ambassador’s tail drooped, the anger leaving her magenta eyes. She walked over to a window and looked out over the fields, the dying sun throwing orange across her white coat.
“We had to cede them the southern fiefs.” She said dejectedly. Cookie felt the air leave the room. Clover was visibly shocked, and even the guards dropped their tough colt faces and expressed surprise. “It’s what the earth ponies wanted, and we are in no position to argue.” The ambassador put her head low and headed towards the door. She stopped and turned to the apprentice wizard behind her. “Clover, write the princess. Tell her the food shipments will start arriving in a week, as will the refugees.” With that she left, the door closing softly behind her. There was silence in the library, as Clover and Cookie simply looked at each other.
“Don’t worry Clover, ah’ll try to make sure your people get treated right.” Cookie said defiantly. Clover gave her a look filled with sadness, shook her head and walked towards the door. She opened it up a touch, just enough to fit through, and took her leave. Soft sobbing could be heard before the door quietly closed, leaving nothing but silence in the library; silence…and Cookie.
“Well that was boring!” a chipper voice said from behind Cookie. Oh right, she thought to herself, Puddinghead’s still here. Puddinghead had abandoned her fort, which stood standing off to the left of her. She turned towards the pink politician angrily.
“Puddin’head, did you even pay attention? We just cheated the unicorns outta their land!”
“It’s not that bad Cookie! They get food from us, and nopony gets to starve!” Puddinghead said cheerily. Cookie stomped her hoof impatiently.
“But what about them ponies that lose their homes, what about them?” she snapped.
“Those southern fiefs of theirs are primo farm land. Unicorns don’t farm though, so it’s just wasting. We can make more farms there, so we can feed everypony like we always have!” Puddinghead said.
“It still just ain’t right to take a ponies’ home!” her friend replied, her tail twitching angrily. “You saw how sad them unicorns were!”
“Cookie, what’s worse? Being unable to eat or being without a home for awhile. Even though we are taking land, most Unicorns live in the north! I’m sure their pride just got hurt as all, they’ll get better!” Puddinghead said knowingly. Cookie relaxed visibly, and looked more relieved, if a bit surprised at the display of diplomatic tact. She opened her mouth to inquire about it, but all that was heard was a cough. She closed her mouth and puzzled for a bit before another cough forced her to turn around. In the doorway behind her stood Ambassador Grey Rock, placing a handkerchief away into his breast pocket before squinting intently at her through his monocle.
“Hello there, eh……..Cookie was it?” He said, having to search for her name. He was a very old pony, with his white mane and well worn face evidence enough of his age. His voice was flat, but deep, the sort of voice that a hypnotist would have. “You must listen to that pony over there, she is quite right. Yes, I did indeed broker a rather unfairly advantageous deal, and my heart does hang unwaveringly heavy over it.” He said in his drone, rarely changing tone as he spoke. “But I must implore you to understand my reasoning. It was the correct decision, considering the southern fiefs’ historical ties to the earth tribe. Now if you will indulge me, let’s begin with Chancellor Leaping Thought. He was the first earth pony to-“
“Mister Ambassador, if ah may stop what is surely a very interestin’ history lecture to get back to the problem,” Cookie said with false grace, trying to cover for the fact that Puddinghead had abruptly fallen asleep. “Why in tarnation would you make your only demand a place where ponies live and work?”
“Smart Cookie, you must understand that this order came from the powers much higher than me. Had it been purely up to me I would not have kicked them out foalsale. It is the will of the Chancellery that we do this, I am unfortunately powerless. Who, by the way, is she?” he said, nodding towards the now loudly snoring Puddinghead. Cookie smiled and began subtly poking her friend, to no effect.
“She is Delegate Puddinghead representing Belmont in the Reinstag. I brought her to meet you sir. Isn’t that right Madame DELEGATE?!” Cookie said through a nervous smile. She punctuated the last word with a loud stomp, which finally awoke the drowsy delegate who jumped in surprise. She wheeled on her friend.
“What!? Is that hot air bloated old fogey gone? He opened his mouth and I felt like a school filly again!” Puddinghead said in her usual chipper way. Cookie smiled awkwardly and started motioning towards the ambassador. The ambassador coughed awkwardly, then walked up to Puddinghead and extended a hoof.
“We shall form a precipitous duo, Miss Puddinghead, and perhaps your rather blunt insight is fortuitous,” he said, shaking hooves with the delegate. She smiled nervously, but then turned to Cookie with a disgusted look and whispered.
“He shakes hands like a cold fish!” she hissed at Cookie, who stifled a laugh with her hoof. The ambassador, who Cookie figured was either very deaf or very forgiving, did not appear to hear.
“Cookie,” he said, “The campaign has now begun, and I daresay you’ve done a fine job the past few months as my assistant.”
“Mister Ambassador, Ah’ve been spending most of that time away from you. How can you say ah’ve done a good job?” Cookie asked quizzically.
“My dear, had I not been tied up in these tense talks I would have you by my side immediately. You did more separate from me than you ever could by my side, and I thank you for that. However, I think you are the only pony that understands how my running mate thinks,” the ambassador intoned. Cookie snorted in disbelief.
‘How on earth could anypony understand Puddinghead? ’She thought.
”So I will be sending a note with you back to Ballot Box officially making you her secretary.” Grey Rock concluded. Cookie nodded, trying to conceal the smile on her face. Puddinghead was putting no effort into hiding her excitement.
“WOOHOOO! Now we can hang out all the time and you can keep me entertained during the boring…” Puddinghead said before the ambassador shot her a look. “Er…important campaign events!” she concluded hurriedly. She shot a wink to Cookie, who smirked a little. Gray Rock yawned loudly and turned towards the door.
“Ladies, I must take leave of you, for my nightly sojourns into the id have been irregular lately, and I am long overdue for another. I bid you a good night.”
As the door closed behind him the two mares left in the looked at each other, both wearing a grin. Despite all that had transpired, they weren’t thinking about the land deal, or even the campaign itself. They were simply happy that they were friends, and that they would be able to stick together for a very long time.