MONDAY
Despite having left for work ten minutes late, I ended up making it there with a full six minutes to spare. Perhaps it had been the absence of traffic that day. Perhaps it had been that I hadn’t listened to the radio on the way over like I usually did. Perhaps it was because I skipped showering and shaving that morning because I just hadn’t felt like it that time. Whatever reason for arriving to work a bit early, I inexplicably found myself face to face with my company’s latest employee on her very first day of work.
Her name is Fluttershy. And she’s a pony. A talking one. How neat.
I pushed through the office’s set of doors and before I even took two steps past reception, I saw where they’d set her up—in an office right between the floor’s water cooler and only a few meters away from the company’s main meeting room. Was that to make sure that every single employee saw her at some point during the day? Truthfully, it didn’t matter to me.
Through Fluttershy’s glass office door, I watched as she unloaded a few knickknacks and random paraphernalia onto her office desk. She had no computer to speak of—only a few bookcases of texts and novels. On the walls above her desk were a few classic “motivational” posters that everyone had seen at some point or another: the kitty hanging by the tree branch; the “teamwork” poster that included a picture of a rainbow for some reason. The only poster I hadn’t seen before was of a group of tightly-dressed pegasi soaring through the air like they’d all been given a mission from the President himself. Or whoever the equivalent of the President was in pony terms. I’d never bothered looking into all that.
I entered the elevator across the hall and breathed out a sigh of relief. She hadn’t spotted me. She must’ve been too busy—
That was when I heard a light tap on glass and glanced up. Fluttershy was standing beside her office window, anxiously waving a hoof at me. When she was sure she had my attention, she motioned to the clipboard and pen attached to the wall next to her office’s door.
In big bold letters, the page stated: “PONY BREAK SIGN-UP SHEET—FILL ONE OUT TODAY!”
Before the elevator doors could close, I gave her the smallest of waves in return and returned my attention to the carpet next to my shoes.
I noted one of my shoes had a hole in it. If I had the energy, I’d get a new pair.
TUESDAY
By choice, I’d made it to work on Tuesday a full ten minutes late and still sat in my car for an extra three. I ran a hand around my jaw and felt the stubble around there. At least I took a shower that morning. That got me one Life Point, didn’t it? And you only need one Life Point per day to exist, right?
The reason for being late was simple, really: Fluttershy.
With luck, she’d be with a “client” by the time I strolled in—as it turned out, that was just what ending up happening.
“You have got to be kidding me,” I whispered as I hurried by her office.
Even though she’d pulled her blinds down and closed her office door, I could still see Fluttershy and her client inside. At the moment, she was with one of the upstairs IT guys—both seated on that wide couch of hers, laughing and talking. What else were they doing exactly? Was that tea that they were drinking?
I pinched the bridge of my nose with my fingertips.
What the heck was happening to this once well-respected company? We hire pony therapists now? Does every client get a cup of tea? What if I don’t even like tea? Does this Fluttershy have a rum and Coke locked somewhere inside of her desk should I want one during our “session”?
I got to my workspace on the floor above Fluttershy’s and turned on my computer, waiting for it to load. While it did that, I busied myself by leafing through all my incoming paper mail—including the memo I just knew would be heading my way sooner or later.
“Dear Initech Employees,
We are most proud to have hired our first ever employee from Equestria. She is a pegasus mare named Fluttershy that has been studying various ways of coping with stress, fear, and anxiety all of her life. Considering our company is one of the largest and fastest growing businesses of today, it only makes sense that during our “Third Quarter Crunch” we have someone on staff that could help alleviate any worries or anxieties any employees may feel.
Fluttershy is more than willing to lend an open ear to anyone that should want to spend a few minutes with her. Available hours to meet are posted right outside her office door.
P.S. Sign up soon! Time is becoming increasingly limited!
Drew Wentworth, CEO.”
Right after skimming the “P.S.” section, I crumpled the memo and threw it in the trash basket underneath my desk. Any problems in my life were mine and mine alone.
No magical ponies allowed, please and thank you.
WEDNESDAY
The overall mood in the office had changed by Wednesday and I hadn’t liked it one bit. Mary, our receptionist of the last four years that never seemed to get my name right, finally did for the first time in years. She also gave me a big smile as soon as I entered that sent a shiver down my spine. How did you tell someone they looked better with their mouth closed and teeth hidden?
Mary was the least of my worries, though.
Even from my personal cubicle I could hear them all babbling about her.
“Fluttershy ever tell you about that time she scolded that dragon with her friends?”
“Nah. We just drank some tea and I scratched her head for a bit. Ponies really like that, I guess. Ponies are soft, too. You ever notice that? I think my dog was mighty jealous when I got home. Think dogs can smell pony on someone?”
“Our time together was nice. She read from this book I never heard about before—one of those ‘pony’ books, obviously. Sounded a lot like some Indiana Jones rip-off, but I wasn’t about to say anything. You ever notice how soothing her voice is? Two minutes into my Pony Break and I completely forgot about all those deadlines looming over my head. I mean… I’ll finish them, of course. It’s only nice not being so stressed out all the time.”
The trio of loud talkers finally broke away from the water cooler near my desk and I eventually found the energy to focus on my work again—only for a certain important someone to come pay me a visit.
“Mind if we have a word, Steve?” asked my company’s CEO.
I momentarily choked on air. “Mr. Wentworth! How… nice of you to pay us a visit down here on the second floor—”
The pudgy man known as our CEO held out a hand to stop me. “First off: it’s only Drew now. Fluttershy told me how ‘intimidating’ last names can sound and more than anything I don’t want to disappoint her. Secondly: I’m not down here just to mingle—I’m actually here to speak with you for a bit.”
Oh. So this was what it was like to get fired. Took long enough.
The pudgy man chuckled, his cheeks red. “Stop your mind from whirling before it gets going, all right? Nothing bad. No terrible news from above, I promise. Your work’s fine, Steve. Always has been.”
Anxiously, I chewed on the tip on my tongue. “Then…?” I questioned delicately.
“Well,” he started, crossing his thick arms over his chest, “I’m sure by now you’ve heard about this ‘Pony Break’ thing we have going on now in the company. A couple of other large companies have been doing it for a few months and we heard great things about it. And—unless you’ve somehow stapled your eyes shut since this Monday—you could probably tell that morale around this place has changed a bit. For the better, if that wasn’t clear enough.”
I really didn’t know what to say to that, so I said nothing.
The pudgy man cleared his throat. “We may be a small company, Steve, but we are also a rather important company. And as our leader I like to know that every one of our employees is operating at their absolute best. Thus far, Pony Break has been an outright success. Even I have had a personal session with that cute little Fluttershy of ours.” He chuckled again. “Yes, even bosses can have insecurities sometimes. And fears and doubts. And sometimes something as simple as a little distraction can help a bit. Or a few kind words. Or even some random pony story once in a while.”
Gingerly, I tapped against my keyboard with my thumb. “No offense Drew, but I’m kind of down to the wire here, so—”
“Oh! Oh, yes!” the big man sputtered out, his red cheeks growing redder. “Ha! Here I am talking about ‘distractions’ and such. Anyways, my biggest concern is that you don’t take enough breaks, Steve.”
“I take my lunch break just like everyone else. Two coffee breaks in the morning if I’m tired. No smoke breaks, though.”
The pudgy man nodded in understanding. “That’s good to hear. The smoking, I mean; bad for you, it is. Now the only question is whether Pony Breaks might end up being bad for the heart—adorable ponies and all. Anywho, I took the liberty and signed you up for a Pony Break after lunch on Friday. Ninety-six percent of employees have already signed up for a session and I would just hate for you to miss out on it.”
I had to fight with myself to keep my voice in check. “And what if I don’t want to go, Drew?”
“Then you don’t,” he answered, straightening himself out beside my cubicle. “It’s only a placeholder, regardless; up to you if you want to fill it. Although, speaking from one person to another, I’ve never felt so darn swell than after meeting with Fluttershy. What a weird word to use, isn’t it? But for some reason it fits! Swell! All right. I’ll leave you to it, Steve.”
Then, with a rough pat on the shoulder, my boss left the second floor and traveled back up to the fifth, leaving me far less focused than I’d felt all week.
Maybe I’d go to bed early tonight.
Better yet, maybe I’d just stay home tomorrow.
THURSDAY
I didn’t stay home on Thursday. Instead, I came to work on time and pretended like nothing bothered me one bit. Perhaps that’s become my routine as of late: go to work; come home; wash-rinse-repeat. Work and home aren’t even all that different, mind you. Both include hours on a computer with minimum human interaction. If only I could get paid during those hours at home.
On my way back from lunch, I stepped into the elevator and instantly regretted not taking the stairs. In the corner of the elevator stood Fluttershy, a curving lock of bubblegum-pink mane blocking close to half her face.
It only took a second, but I could tell she’d recognized me—her pupils dilating while the smallest of smiles touched her face. She glanced down at her hooves and said timidly, “I’m really looking forward to our meeting tomorrow… I mean, only if you are, too.”
I rolled my eyes well out of her eye line. “Uh-huh.”
“So you’ll be there tomorrow? When your sign up sheet said you would?”
I grimaced. As much as I’d wanted to tell her to cancel it outright, I knew a second visit from the boss man upstairs could be right on the horizon if I did. Also, there just happened to be something to that voice of hers that glued my mouth shut for the moment. Sure, she sounded cute. But wasn’t there something else to it? Almost as if she wanted me to meet with her and wasn’t only making sure I’d fulfill my end of our bargain?
Lightly tapping the part of my chest right above my heart, I cleared my throat and offered her a second “Uh-huh” as explanation. Hopefully it would be enough to last the rest of our elevator ride together.
FRIDAY
I didn’t want to go to work on Friday, so I got drunk the night before. Sadly, I’d never been much of a hangover person, so when my alarm went off at its usual time, I ended up getting dressed and rushing to work like I would on any normal day—only this time with a throat as dry as sand and a head feeling three sizes too big.
And did I mention how I still hadn’t shaved yet?
The day flew by in a whirl of sleepiness and anxiety. I attended an entire forty minute meeting and came to remember only a single word out of it all: Do-ability. Yep. Someone actually got paid for that. Probably more than I make in a week, I’d bet.
I skipped lunch and ate a meal of aspirin and ice water; just when my headache finally started to fade did I realize where I was supposed to be in ten minute’s time:
Pony Break.
After I sat my butt down on Fluttershy’s office couch, she went to close her door, humming a faint tune as she did. On one edge of her desk was a carefully cut bonsai tree and on the other edge was a small framed picture of a rabbit. And here I never thought rabbits could physically frown before.
“Let me take a seat first,” Fluttershy said, before she awkwardly climbed atop the swivel chair behind her desk. After correcting herself, she set both of her forelegs in front of her in a business-like manner. “So… it’s Steven, right?”
“Or Steve,” I answered bluntly. “I’m pretty sure I’ll still know who you’re talking about either way.”
Fluttershy gave me a small smile and a nod. “Any particular reason why you came to see me today? I’ve been hearing a lot of worry about next week’s presentation and if our company’s terminology is up to date. Is that making you feel a bit restless, Steve?”
I chuckled dryly. “Actually, I have nothing to do with that presentation, so no worries there. I’m here because of my boss and my boss alone. He wants his ‘Pony Break’ idea to float, so he signed me up without my permission.”
“Oh.” Fluttershy looked downcast by that. “Well, I certainly don’t want to make you do anything you don’t want to. If you want to leave, you—”
“It’s fine,” I cut in. “I’ll sit for the session—just so my boss won’t bug me again—but I doubt I’ll talk much. No offense. I’m not really the touchy, feely type, you know?”
She nodded. “I know perfectly well. My friend Rainbow Dash always says that, too. And yet sometimes she’s very touchy, feely. Like when she had to say goodbye to her pet turtle for a while.”
I nodded as well—not exactly understanding any of that. “Guess I’m lucky I don’t have a turtle, then.”
The air in her small office grew thick before my curiosity got the better of me.
I asked her, “So how do most sessions work around here? Are you just a therapist that also happens to be a colorful talking pony?”
At that, she laughed and smiled a bit. It was the type of laugh that didn’t feel forced only for my benefit and mine alone. I settled back into her couch a bit.
“Well,” Fluttershy began, quietly fiddling with the few items atop her desk with her hooves, “sometimes I listen to problems employees have and offer advice if I can and sometimes all I do is spend some time with them: reading or drinking tea or even cuddling for a while.”
I raised an eyebrow. “Cuddling between employees might go against company policy, I’m afraid.”
Fluttershy gasped. “Really? Oh, no. I never meant to get anyone in trouble… I mean, everyone’s just been so nice to me since I started here and—”
I waved my hand in the air to stop her from rambling. “I’m only kidding. I have a feeling it’s very much ‘consensual’ cuddling and nothing more.” I hesitated before asking my next question. “So that’s it, then? The big secret to feeling better about life? Some quiet talks and cuddles?”
Fluttershy shrugged behind her desk. “Does it need to be anymore complicated than that?”
I sighed as I searched for the best way to put what was on my mind. During that time, Fluttershy slid off her chair and came to sit beside me on the couch, still giving me a wide berth. A quick glance in her direction told me that she was thinking about what to say next, too.
That quick glance also told me that she was rather fuzzy and cute up close. It was becoming more and more obvious how she’d slowly taken over the entire office in merely a week’s time.
“Sometimes the simplest things in life make us the happiest,” Fluttershy told me earnestly. “Haven’t you ever noticed that before? Spending time with a friend; talking about what’s on your mind; small moments of affection; laughing together; figuring out solutions to problems together. If my friends have taught me anything, it’s that opening up is never a bad thing as long as the one you’re opening up to really cares about you.”
“And you just so happen to care about every single person in this office enough that you can solve all of their problems in an afternoon?” I asked—a tad more snidely than I’d meant to.
“I never said I could do all that,” Fluttershy answered meekly, “and so far no one’s complained about it. I think Pony Break is whatever you make of it. Some people simply want to spend time with me because it makes them feel good—it’s something different and soothing to them. And some people only want to talk and finally be heard for once. It’s sad how often people keep everything all bottled up inside and refuse to let anyone in. I think the only thing stopping that particular person from opening up is that no one’s ever asked them if something’s wrong before. It’s such a simple question, isn’t it?”
Awkwardly, Fluttershy scooted a half-foot closer to me on the couch and laid a single hoof on my shoulder. It was warm and it caused me to tighten my jaw and look away from her.
“Is there something wrong, Steve? Something you’d want to talk about? I Pinkie Promise never to tell anyone if you didn’t want me to.”
“I’m…” I began, finding my throat suddenly dry. “I’m unhappy, all right? Just… unhappy. That and that alone. Big deal, right?”
Fluttershy gave my shoulder the smallest of touches. “And what makes you unhappy, Steve?”
“Where I am in life, I guess. My job is average. My life is… average, too. Maybe I just expected there to be more to it, perhaps? Like maybe as a kid I thought that the grownup Steve would be better than the Steve that exists now?” I quickly ran a hand through my hair. “And I know how silly that all sounds—a problem that probably most people in the world feel. ‘I didn’t get to be a rock star like I thought I would so my life’s the absolute worst!’ I mean, it’s not like there’re literally billions of people in worse situations than myself right now. I own a house and a car; I have a steady job; no major diseases or anything; my family’s not entirely insane or loathes me.”
“Think maybe you’re being a little hard on yourself?” Fluttershy asked, tentatively looking up at me.
“Probably. Maybe that’s a reason why I’m unhappy to begin with: that I don’t even have a great excuse to be unhappy.”
“If you felt this way for a while, Steve, why didn’t you ever tell anyone?”
“Because that’s not really how things work here on Earth,” I tried to explain to her. “People don’t like to talk about feelings—especially other’s feelings; and because no one really asks how I’m doing. It’s just ‘Good morning, Steve! Ready for the big meeting today?’ I mean, it’s gotten to the point where I could show up late for work looking like complete crap and people still wouldn’t ask me if anything’s wrong. None of their business, I guess. I don’t think people like admitting they have a problem, either. Once it’s out in the open, it makes it more real, if that makes any sense.”
Gently, Fluttershy angled her head to my shoulder. “If it makes you feel any better, I care about how you’re doing. And doesn’t at least talking about what’s wrong make you feel a bit better about it? I know talking about problems out loud and with others tends to lessen their effects sometimes.”
It was weird, but she was right about that. I didn’t suddenly feel ‘great’ or ‘fantastic’ following my short speech, but I did feel a little calmer about everything overall. When I’d explained my own problems to myself, they didn’t seem as big as they felt in my head. It might’ve been that… or it might’ve also been the fact that I was receiving life advice from a talking pony. Either reason was fine by me.
Uncaring how odd it might’ve looked, I moved my arm away from Fluttershy so I could rest my hand atop of her head. Her mane was soft and I brushed my fingertips over her ears. They were soft, too.
I snorted. “I had a feeling this little session of ours would end in myself petting a pony. Strike one off the bucket list, I guess.”
Fluttershy snickered and rested her head against my chest. “It’s funny how many people have said that to me already.” Then she paused. “I think our session’s almost up, Steve. Do you feel a bit better having talked about what makes you unhappy? I’d really like to see you again—if you want to book another Pony Break, that is. We could even try and solve what makes you unhappy if you’d like.”
I nodded. It couldn’t hurt, honestly.
Even if seeing Fluttershy and spilling my guts out to her hadn’t changed anything at the moment, it still was nice talking about it for once. It was weird the effect just talking had; also, petting a warm and soft pony that genuinely seemed to care how I was doing.
I told her honestly, “I’ll book another session next week. I don’t like tea, so I’ll bring us coffees.”