Relationships are Evil

by TheTimeSword


Chapter 13: Matchmaker

Rainbow Dash relaxed on her throne as the other mares sat in theirs. She immediately noticed that the one who had called the meeting together was also the one who was missing. “Is anyone else surprised by the fact that Fluttershy wanted to hold a meeting?” she asked. "It's rare for her to call anything together."

The other elements nodded in agreement. Fluttershy specifically called them all together, leaving out Starlight and the villains, but no one knew why. “I noticed she has been avoiding me since Twilight and I returned from the Crystal Empire. Did something happen with Chrysalis while we were gone?” Rarity mentioned.

“Starlight filled me in once we arrived, nothing happened with her and Fluttershy as far as she knows,” Twilight replied.

“Well whatever the reason, she’s late, and she better have a good excuse!” Rainbow proclaimed.

As if on cue, Discord and Fluttershy arrived on the table. Clothes magically fell all around them, and on the book Discord held in his grip. “See Flutters, we’re fashionably late!” he chuckled, lifting the shirt off of the book.

“There yah are. We’ve been waitin’ for you,” Applejack said.

The two hoped off the table, Fluttershy took her seat as Discord placed the book in front of her. “Sorry girls, I hope we didn’t keep you for too long,” she replied, opening the book up. Discord stood next to Fluttershy’s throne, smiling like a goofball. The other elements were confused by his presence, Fluttershy had requested a private meeting just between them.

“So, why did you call us together, Fluttershy? Why’s Discord here?” Twilight asked.

The yellow pegasus gave a soft exhale, her silvery voice echoed against the walls as she spoke. “Discord is my dear friend, and he is tasked with winning your heart, Twilight. At first, I was happy. The idea of my two close friends getting together was a dream come true. Now, there are so many others trying to win your heart. I’ve tried to look past it, I want to help with the reforming, but I’m not sure I’m able to anymore.”

“What are you talking about Shy? You’re our expert on this sort of thing!” Rainbow cried out.

Fluttershy nodded her head with a smile. “That’s very flattering, but if I don’t say this now, I’ll regret it.” She too a deep breath. "I want Discord to win.”

Gasps and awes shook the table, the other elements whispering amongst themselves. Twilight was the only one who stared with an unfazed expression. “Wait, so, you’re biased? Is that supposed to be a big revelation?” the alicorn questioned.

“Um, yes?” Fluttershy responded.

Twilight gave a hearty laugh, tears form in her eyes. “Fluttershy, of all the ponies at this table, you’re the only one I could see who would have true support for Discord. If you don’t feel comfortable helping with the reforming, just say so. Burdening you is that last thing any of us want to do.”

“Both Twilight and Rainbow are right, Fluttershy. You’re our expert on redeeming, but you’re also our expert on Discord. I think if any of us felt a close connection to one of these atoners as you do for Discord, then we’d be just as biased, and that’s okay,” Rarity added.

“Oh! Oh! Does this mean I can root for Tirek? I want him to win! He’s super-duper helpful in the kitchen!” Pinkie yelled excitedly.

“Pinkie, please,” Twilight said with a roll of her eyes, turning the conversation back to Fluttershy. “If you wish to no longer help with the reformation, then you are free to do so. However, I should inform you that this will hurt Discord’s standing since it means he is the cause of it.”

Discord placed a hand on Fluttershy’s shoulder. “Yes, and I am prepared to deal with the consequences, though I do hope you won’t completely rule me out of this bet,” he replied.

With furrowed brow, Twilight took a moment to think, eventually coming to a difficult question. “Did he put you up to this?” She gave a fierce glare at the draconequus.

Fluttershy slammed her hooves on the table, startling everyone, including Discord. The usually calm and reserved pegasus was far from her natural attitude. “No!’ she shouted. “I believe Discord and you would make a great couple, perfect even! You’re two of my best friends, and I’d regret it if I didn’t try to push you together. I will help in whatever way I can because I just want you two to be happy!”

The ponies murmured, speaking to each other as they stared at the pegasus. She felt her heart beating a million paces an hour, but she was determined to stick by Discord’s side. He deserved her kindness the most. Sweat dripped down her face as her nervous, shy attitude returned, no longer having anything else to say.

Discord rubbed her mane, soothing the anxious pony. He gave a gentle smiled as she looked up at him. “I’ll handle the rest,” he mouthed. As the ponies whispered, he raised a hand, getting the attention of Twilight.

“Yes, Discord?”

“I know I dug myself into a hole the other day, and I know how it must look to you when Fluttershy says these things. When I asked her for advice, she made me understand what it was I had been feeling, and I learned I hadn’t been taking this bet seriously,” he argued. “I want to start taking it head on with a serious attitude.”

“Discord, what are you trying to say?”

He gave a short pause, fidgeting with his hands before taking a quick look at Fluttershy. She pointed to some words on a page from the book in front of her. With a nod, he lifted his eyes back to Twilight, his heart raced like thousands of cows in a stampede.

“Twilight, I’m no longer in this to win the bet, I’m in this to win you. That’s why Fluttershy wants to help me. She has seen that I truly mean it.”

The admission sent a knot into Twilight’s throat, her wings expanded to full breath, and her face’s hue went straight to beat red. “W-Wh-What!?” she shouted. The other elements gasped in unison, their jaws nearly unhinging.

Discord lifted a leg up onto the table, placing his hands over his chest. “You’ve been my greatest rival, Twilight Sparkle. I’ve always felt a connection to you, though I had assumed it was my chaotic passion, wanting to corrupt you. I’ve come to realize I acted the same way a confused colt would act when he meets a filly he likes. I didn’t pull your hair, make fun of you, or call you names, wait no, I have done that last one,” he stammered out, trying to confess as best he could.

“Whoa, hold on. Are you trying to tell me what I think you are?” Twilight asked.

He gave a nod before responding. “Yes, I want to be your special somepony.”

“Aww,” Pinkie squealed. “That’s so cute!” All the ponies gave a rousing round of cheers to the embarrassed draconequus, except for Twilight of course.

“That’s very, uhm, forward of you, Discord. It seems like you’ve thought this through pretty well,” she nervously replied.

“Well, he is getting help from Fluttershy,” Rarity interjected. “So he must be pretty serious about the whole thing.”

“I’ve got to agree with Rare’s on this one. If I didn’t know any better, I’d say Fluttershy used magic to turn him into a mindless love-admitting zombie,” Rainbow piped up.

Fluttershy let out a giggle. “Well, it’s not magic, but it’s just as good.” She then lifted the book up, showing the cover. “How to gain a special somepony in eight weeks!”

“Well Discord, I think you’ve picked the best pony to help you win me over. She knows turning to a book for guidance is a good way to win my heart,” Twilight said with a bit of glee. “But wait, didn’t you borrow that book months ago, Fluttershy?”

“Hey! That’s the book you said helped you with the meat head!” Rainbow added.

With pouty lips, Fluttershy muttered, “Why does everypony keep calling him that? He’s a nice stallion.”

“Since you’re being so kind, Discord, I am sorry for the other day.” Twilight smiled at the draconequus. “I know you would have been able to handle Chrysalis if she had done anything destructive, and I should have trusted you more,” she apologized.

“Thank you, my dear. If you do choose to trust me with any of them again, I will do my best to uphold the standards placed on me, even if they are a little chaotic,” he replied.

Fluttershy clapped her hooves together. “Yay! I’m so happy you two are getting along! I told you the book worked!”

Twilight lifted the book over to her, attempting to peer into the pages. She immediately noticed the entire book was empty, no words, sentences, or paragraphs to be found. “Uhm, there’s nothing here,” she noted.

Discord covered his mouth, snickering through the slots in his hands. “It wouldn’t be fair if you knew our war plan, now would it?”

She rolled her eyes, a sardonic smile brushed her face. “Then perhaps you should skip a few steps ahead,” she replied. She then climbed up on the table and walked towards the draconequus. “Why not skip to step seven?”

“What is step seven?” Discord asked. Fluttershy placed her hooves over her blushing face.

“Step seven is all about kissing,” Twilight replied, a smug grin on her face.

The ponies gasped in unison again, Applejack choked on the surplus of air. “Alright, we have got to stop doin’ that,” she quietly whispered to herself.

“K-K-Kiss?” Discord reiterated, popping the book into his hands and quickly flipping through the pages. Before he could find what he was looking for, the book snapped closed. As hard as he tried it wouldn’t budge, refusing to open. “W-What’s wrong with this stupid thing!?”

“Discord, Discord, Discord. What’s the matter? Can’t perform a simple kiss without reading up about it first? You’re starting to sound like me,” she mocked.

“I… Uh…”

“What a shame. Perhaps you should have read through it first, like I did,” she smugly said, still mischievously grinning.

He placed a hand on his nape. “Oh, right. She got the book from you,” he nervously chuckled.

“Is the Lord of Chaos afraid of a little smooch?” Rainbow sassed, causing the other elements to laugh.

Twilight’s seemingly lewd smile grew closer as she reached the other side of the table. Discord stood still, too afraid to make a move but not embarrassed enough to run away. Should I go for it, he thought, right in front of everyone?

As he leaned in, Twilight teleported over to the door, leaving Discord confused as to what had just happened. “Sorry, but just because you admit you like me, doesn’t mean you get a kiss. You’ll have to try harder than that.” She let out a giggle as the door swung open.

“Aww, and it was just getting good,” complained Pinkie, slumping down against the table.

Discord spun around, pointing at the alicorn. “You are a feisty one, Twilight Sparkle, but I will win you! You can bet on it!”

She tossed an approving smile to him. “And I can’t wait to see you try.”

With the door closed, Discord turned back around, unsure of what to do next. “Well today was certainly awkward,” he noted. The other ponies nodding in agreement.

“I’m proud of you Discord. It takes a true heart to admit somethin’ like that. I might just have to root for you myself,” Applejack joked, kicking her back legs onto the table.

“Well, I’m still rooting for Tirek! He’s the underdog!” Pinkie raised pompoms into the air, repeating the centaurs name over and over.

Rarity couldn’t help but let out a cackle, garnishing the attention of everypony. “Oh please, you should have seen Sombra at the Crystal Empire. By the end of our trip, Twilight was eating out of his hoof. Even I found myself entranced with his intrepid personality. I’d put all my gemstones on him winning,” she assured the group, with no doubt in her mind.

“Oh my, it looks like we have some catching up to do, Discord,” Fluttershy said. “We better not waste any more time.” Discord gave a quick nod before the two waved goodbye to the group. With a snap of his fingers, they teleported away.

Pinkie Pie jumped up on the table, a microphone in her hoof. “This isn’t a bet anymore! All the competitors are actually falling for Twilight, and she’s falling for them! Who will win her heart and claim the prize of being a prince?”

With a quick jab and a swipe, Rainbow took the microphone away from Pinkie. “You’re already loud enough! Come on, we should go check on Starlight. She’s been watching Chrysalis and Tirek for a while now.”

“Well, you two can go check on Starlight. I asked that magnificent dark haired stallion to help me with some fashion projects. This bet has done wonders for my stallion clothing line,” Rarity replied as she rose from her seat, stepping out of the room.

Pinkie and Rainbow looked at Applejack. The earth pony sat with her hat covering her eyes, but she could still feel the presence of their stares. “Fiiiine. Let’s go check up on Starlight,” she groaned.

After the three had checked in on their friend, and the castle had settled down for the night, Twilight found herself alone in one of the many living quarters. A roaring fire in the furnace heated the room, a blanket covered her for some extra comfort, allowing her to stay quite warm as she became engrossed in a good book.

Spike poked his head in, giving a quick knock to get her attention. She looked up, the very sight of him induced a smile. “Spike, I’ve barely seen you all day. What have you been up to?” she asked.

He walked in holding a blanket and a comic. “Well, you’ve been busy with the reforming and the meetings, I just figured you could use the space. Are you, y’know, still busy?”

She shook her head. “Come here you,” she said, patting the floor next to her.

The dragon sat down against her, resting his scaly body against her hip. He wrapped his legs in the blanket and rested his head on her back, eventually opening the comic to the last page that he had read.

Twilight smiled before returning to her book, but just as she started reading, Spike spoke up. “I’ve missed you Twilight.”

“Aww.” She nuzzled against his cheek with her muzzle. “I’ve missed you too.”

“I’ve got to spend as much time with you as I can before you get into a relationship,” he said.

“Spike…” Twilight’s voice quavered. She then wrapped her foreleg around his neck, choking him into a hug. “Just because I might get a special somepony doesn’t mean I’ll stop spending time with you,” she stated.

He lowered his comic, placing a claw on her leg. “Yeah, but, it’s already less. At first, it was just Starlight, and she’s really cool, but now with the others… I barely get to see you anymore except to say hi,” he whispered, his voice trembling and cracking as he spoke.

“Well, from what I hear, whenever you’re not helping Starlight and me you’re usually over at a certain unicorn’s home,” she mentioned, trying to cheer up her close friend with a light-hearted joke.

Spike gave an extravagant sigh, turning his head to look up at Twilight. “Yeah, and she just flat out told me she doesn’t have feelings for me,” he replied.

This was news to Twilight, she hadn’t expected this to happen so soon. I guess I won’t have to give Rarity that lesson after all, she thought.

“I don’t even know why she brought it up. I mean, it’s not like I admitted my feelings towards her or anything. It was just out of the blue,” he ranted.

“I’m so sorry, Spike.” She tried to comfort her friend, squeezing him tighter in a hug. “Are you alright?”

He nodded. “Yeah. I’m okay. It’s not like we were actually together or anything, but I really did like her.”

“Really?” she questioned. “You’re not heartbroken? Why?”

With a resentful expression, he looked at Twilight. “Are you wanting me to be sad?”

“No, no! Not at all! It’s just, well, you carry the doll around and I always thought this would be difficult, and-“

“What do you mean this would be difficult?” he angrily interjected.

She placed a hoof over her mouth, releasing him from her grasp. Sweat began to drip down her face as she gave a nervous chuckle.

“Whatever,” he grunted, slumping back down against her hip. “I don’t want to fight with you Twilight. I’m old enough now to understand, and I’m glad she didn’t string me along.” He opened his comic back up. Twilight couldn’t help but giggle subconsciously over how grown up the dragon was, yet he still read comics.

“Well, mister grown up dragon, how about we spend some time together?” She then levitated the book over in front of him, showing him the title.

He chuckled as he replied, “The Superb Sorceress of Oys? I guess Discord really got to you today, huh?”

Twilight dropped the book, blushing from cheek to cheek. She quickly levitated it back up from the ground and turned her head from his sight, attempting to maintain her composure. “I-I don’t know what you’re talking about!” she lied.

“Discord and Twilight sitting in a tree,” he began to mockingly sing. She gently tapped him on the head with the book, causing him to stop. “Kidding!” he blustered. “Only kidding!”

She wrapped a foreleg around his neck once more, levitating the book and comic over to a shelf. “How about I tell you all about the adventure we had in the Crystal Empire. I’m sure you’ve heard it, but I haven’t told anyone of the things that Cinnamon said to me.”

“Whoa! Secret information? Cool!” he exclaimed, pulling his blanket up as he snuggled next to her.