//------------------------------//
// Chapter 5: Part 2: The Unicorn Eulogies 
// Story: The First Equestrian Games. 
// by S. K. RyDer 
//------------------------------//

QUICK NOTE FROM THE AUTHOR:
Due to unmanageable complications with my computer, I'll be going away for a bit. Just until I can get new computer parts. 
Basically my Motherboard, the key component to a computer's running time, is going out, and my memory isn't the best. Both inside and outside the computer.

So expect large gaps like this one.

tldr: Computer broken, expect delays.
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“We’re back, and we’re getting ready to start with the Unicorns. Now, this pony uses anything to her advantage, going from anything to downright tactful, to mildly dominant. Here’s Fleur-de-lis!”
The white mare trotted forward, sitting right down in the chair, “Thank Smiles.”
“Thank you Fleur.” Smiles shook her hoof, “Nice to have you back on the show.”
“I don’t know if I would call this nice,” she gestured to the entire concept of The Games, “What with all what we’re supposed to do and all.”
“Well, Royalty thinks it’s a good idea.” Smiles shrugged, “And we really have no choice but to go along.”
“I understand, but still.” Fleur shook her head, “If I may say so, when FoxTrot was being evaluated, he told us that he showed the judges three different ways to dissect a pony.” She shuddered, “Whilst alive.”
Smiles’ goggles glowed green, “Yeah, about that. Did he ask about Cupcakes?”
“Yes, how did--”
“Halloween twelve years ago. For an event, he told a story of just that; dissecting ponies while they were alive. Called Cupcakes.”
“And he got away with it?”
“Well,” Smiles shrugged, “This was before Princess Candace became a Royal Member, but he still had Princess Celestia to answer to.”
“And what did she do?”
“Nothing. Literally.” Smiles grinned, “Except the fact that he got a good chewing out when Luna told her.”
Fleur-de-lis stood as the timer went off, “Thank you Smiles, for giving us this bit of FoxTrot.”
“Hey,” Smiles’ face fell, “No matter what his past was, or what he did before he came here, he’s Prince FoxTrot of the Shadows, sword to protect the ponies of Equestria.
“Fleur-de-lis everypony.”
She trotted off, a small smirk playing on her lips. There was a moment’s pause before, “Octavia.”
A grey pony trotted forward, her fear of audiences long dead. She gave an enthralling smile, waved, and sat down.
“So I take it you’re not at all perturbed by the crowd?” Smiles chuckled, “You’re almost a first.”
“Well,” She rubbed a hoof on the back of her neck, “I am a performer. I play the cello.”
“The Cello?” Smiles was impressed, “Do you have it with you?”
Octavia gave a sly grin, “Funny you should ask. I just so happen to have it with me.” She trotted off, brining a fully prepared Cello out. “Would you like to hear something?”
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o0zuU2yYt3Y
The crowd roared as she pulled her hoof across the strings, resounding the tink tink tink that started her song.
Suddenly, she drug the bow across, starting the melody of the song, still retaining the tink tink tink of the beginning.
The notes flowed from one end of the spectrum to the other, the melody causing the crowd’s eyes to flow.
Reluctantly, the song ended. An eternity later, the crowd erupted in applause.
“Octavia everypony.” Smiles wiped his eyes, “Thank you for the beautiful piece.”
“You’re very welcome Smiles.” She smiled, trotting off in a melancholy gait.
“Next up,” Smiles wiped his eyes and sniffed, “Next is the Pegasus famous for her works: Milky Way and the Galaxy Girls. Each figure hoof made and sold from her own home. Give it up for Fyre Flye!”
The red-haired Pegasus trotted forward, her grey eyes sparkling. 
“So, Fyre Flye.” Smiles grinned, “What do you expect to do?”
“Well,” she gave a nice smile, “I’ve been training hard and long. I’ve gone to both extremes, hot and cold. I’ve managed to complete the training arena with flying colors, and I’ve been giving myself some emotional training to deal with the alone factor.”
“Huh.” Smiles nodded, “So you’re prepared.”
“More than prepared.” She giggled, “In fact, I think I’m going to win.”
“Well, you do seem confident, and confidence is key.” Smiles took her hoof, “Fyre Flye everypony!”
“Now the next one on the list is the pony best known for her works with the Zebras and the Minotaurs. Survivalist, and she can make a meal from ANYTHING. Give it up for Midnight Sky!”
The dark blue Unicorn trotted forward. She gave a bold nod to the crowd and leapt into her chair.
“Survival expert,” Smiles nodded to her saddlebags, “ready for anything?”
“Mmm hmm.” Midnight nodded, “I was actually planning a camping trip soon, but being in the arena shattered my entire schedule.”
Smiles laughed, “And no chance of getting back on track?”
“Depends” She tapped her hoof, “I can use a fair amount of my skills there, as well as some other skills I’ve been trained with.”
“Like what?”
Her eyes sparkled, “Karate, Larate and Jarate.”
“I’ve heard of Karate, but what are--”
“Larate is pretty much Karate, but a lot more robust and clean. And Jarate? Well…” She pulled a jar from her saddlebags. In it was a yellow-amber liquid, “Takes me, on a good day, two hours make one of these babies.”
Smiles gestured, “What is it?”
She grinned, “It’s a Nayson, four ounces, filled with my own urine.”
The crowd reacted appropriately, but Smiles unperturbed, “And I think that will help you get places.”
She put the jar back in her bag. “Yeah. It will keep ponies off me for a bit. Especially if I can break the jar on them.”
Smiles nodded, “Have you ever heard of a man named Mundy?”
“Aye. He’s where I got the training from.” She stood, “And I thank him for his rigorous and trying training.”
“Alright.” Smiles stood, “Midnight Sky Everypony.”
The crowd applauded out of politeness, her Jarate too disgusting otherwise.
“And next we have—uh.” Smiles tapped his goggles, “Hang on, got some interference.” 
He stood there a moment trying to get the script back, then, “Hairspray Everypony.”
She trotted forward, her bubblegum pink coat glittering. She flopped into the chair, her pink mane hidden under a brown hat. She grinned, “Thank yeh kindly Smalls.”
“No problem.” He tapped his goggles one last time, then sat down. “So,what’s life like back in Appleloosa.”
“Ah’m over here.”
“Oh. Sorry. Life in Appleloosa.”
“Whay-yell.” She sighed, “The last naght ah was there, ah managed to get a nice grove of pears goin’.”
Smile frowned, “Pears? With a name like Hairspray--”
“Ya’ll listen now.” She leaned forward, placing a hoof on Smiles’ vest, “If yeh find that yer mane’s just a little dull, rub some pear juice on it. It’ll shine right up like Sherriff Silver Starr’s personal spittoon on a hot summer’s naght!”
Smiles gave a comprehensive nod, “Ah. So, you cultivate things?”
“Jus’ pears.” Hairspray shrugged, “Couple o’ chickens, few cows. Ah have a handful of herbs and flowers even.”
He grinned, “What are the cows for?”
“Well, lemme put it this a-way.” She leaned back, “You’ve jus’ returned from the fields, an’ it bein’ Appleloosa, it’s hot as a red-bellied dragon’s throat after a meal of chilli peppers an’ jahl-e-peen-ohs.”
“HAL-e-pen-yos.” Smiles corrected.
“Wha’ ever. Anyways, you come into ol’ Hairspray’s saloon an’ salon, an’ ah’ll treat you to a drank and haircut for the price of three bits. Uh.” She squirmed as the timer went off, “Smalls, ah thank ah’m stuck”
“Nice.” Smiles stood, helping the salon mare from her chair. “Up you get. Hairspray Everypony.”
“Next up,” Smiles rubbed his hoof, “Is none other than the Captain of the Royal Guard. Here’s Shining Armor!”
The stallion burst from the curtains, executing a perfect roll, from where he leapt right onto the back of the chair. He did a front flip and landed nicely, even as far as having his fetlocks crossed.
“Thank you kindly Smiles.”
“Thank YOU, your highness.” Smiles shook the Captain’s hoof, “So, you--”
“What is that?” he gestured to the bowl on the table, “What’s in it?”
“Jelly Beans.” Smiles shrugged, “I’ve had them there for the duration of the show.”
“Wow.” Shining Armor’s magenta aura appeared in the bowl, “That’s insane.”
“Yeah, I was hoping they would be gone by the Pegasus Stallions. Anyway, Shine--” Smiles eyes widened as the Captain’s aura vanished, leaving a nice set of sunglasses in the style of Smiles’ goggles perched on his face.
“You, Smiles, are awesome.” Shining armor turned to the audience. “I have never been on a talk show that gave out sunglasses.”
Smiles shook his head, “Of all the guests I have had on the show.” He held back a laugh, “and NOT ONE of them digs to the bottom of the jelly beans.”
“So you planted these here?”
“No, I had no idea they were even in there!”
All ponies present roared with laughter at the scenario, taking a good minute off Shining Armor’s time.
“Anyways,” Smiles took a breath, “For the duration of the planning process, you have been—“
“And they fit exactly!” He looked around, “What are the odds?”
“What are the odds.” Smiles chuckled, “But knowing what you’ve been doing in--”
Shining Armor brought his hoof behind his ear, quickly raising and lowering the glasses from his face.	
Smiles bit back a laugh, “What you’ve done while helping the others. I mean--”
“They’re dancing glasses.” Shining Armor tapped the arms on the table, “See?”
“That’s nice.” Smiles shook his head, “So, people have noticed that in--”
Shining Armor stuck his face into Smiles’, sunglasses perched on the edge of his nose.“WOW! You look great!” 
“I’m sure. Shining Armor, I heard reports of your helping--”
“Hey, did you know that with sunglasses, the sun will be kept out of your eyes?”
“Yeah, that’s the point.” Smiles shook his head, “But you’ve helped almost--”
“Kinda makes me wonder if Celestia’s going to send them to the moon or not.”
“Doubtful. You’ve helped--”
“Well, if they were sent to the moon, they’d block it out, making Luna a little irate.”
“Who cares?” Smiles shook his head again, “You’ve helped your fellow tributes more than you’ve--”
“And don’t get me started on welding goggles.” Shining Armor held his hoof out, “They block ALL light out.”
Smiles shook his head again, “Shining Armor:  focus. Please.”
The Captain shook his head, “Wow. That hurt. And you’ve done it four times now.”
“I’m getting just a little mad.” Smiles shook his head again.
“Five!”
Shake.
“Six!”
“GET OFF MY STAGE!” Smiles pointed to the far curtain, “There’s the curtain, you may bleeding use it!”
Shining Armor stared, then raced off, leaving Smiles heaving for calmness. “Okay. Now that hes out of the way. Our next guest is the pony behind favorite techno songs like ‘ghosts n stuff’ and ‘need a ladder.’ Give it up for Noteworthy!”
The navy blue stallion trotted forward, his face ashen with an uncharacteristic scowl.
“So, Noteworthy.”
“Shut up Smiles.”
“But--”
“NO.” Noteworthy scowled, his face contorting into a face of sheer anger. Without breaking stride, he trotted right off stage, leaving an entire country confused to his actions.
“Well.” Smiles clicked his tongue. “That was unexpected. Up next, I guess, is the once-known sculptor. Famous for his ‘Lunar de Marelow’, he began his career, cut off with his rheumatism/arthritis combination. Give it up for Fortescue!”
“NO!”
“Okay.” He shrugged, “Next up is the stallion responsible for the latest fashion trend in Canterlot, Cloudsdale, Cashmere Hollow, and anywhere else starting with ‘C’. Here’s Lord Chest nut!”
“Not happening.”
Smiles grimaced, “Thunder?”
No reply.
Smiles’ voice broke with hysteria, “Star Gazer?”
“Only if you want your neck broken.”	
“Aaand we’ll be back after these messages!” He turned. But just before the cameras cut off, “What the hay is wrong with these stallion?!”