//------------------------------// // Author: Still not sorry // Story: Waifu and Husbando Emporium // by Tyrannosaurus_Tux //------------------------------// Grunting with no small amount of exertion, Twilight mushed on. After the episode with the human, fate had decided that the creature should pass out completely and then proceed to sleep like a baby. That would be fine, if Twilight wasn’t then forced to carry him bodily to safety. Twilight didn’t want to assume, but it certainly seemed male. From an assortment of sticks, twigs, branches, and leaves, Twilight had magically fashioned a makeshift sled. Twilight correctly determined that carrying him bodily back to civilization would tax Twilight more than she was comfortable with. However, using her natural earth pony strength, a boon of being an alicorn, she could use her magic to make a sled, and her muscles to carry this creature back to Ponyville. There were still so many questions on her mind. What did he mean, they were cursed? Is it something that can be cured? Is it terminal? Would it effect anyone else around them? As she looked back to the unconscious form of the mystery person, she realized with a start another question that she had not yet considered. Was there even a curse at all? The ape-but-not-an-ape seemed rather delirious and could be under any number of mind-altering substances as well as extreme stress. Such conditions were hardly suitable for rational thought and certainly not rational discourse. Thankfully, Twilight thought, the creature did not awaken that dragon he had stumbled upon. Well, he had, but it had simply went back to sleep after it drowsily browsed its surroundings and decided that there wasn’t anything around to bother him in his sleep, and had gone right back into his slumber. This event simplified things for the Alicorn of Friendship, yet... she was still expecting more trouble than this. She had gone into Whitetail woods to investigate the latest in a strange series of strange magic anomalies. If she had known what she might have run into... she might not have come. The thought had occurred to Twilight, and she found it odd-and a little scary- that she ever had that thought. She looked behind her again, and, mixed between the two limbs of the makeshift stretcher she had made, was that same creature, resting. That creature, Twilight then thought, must have been the result of the magical anomaly that itched at her senses within Whitetail wood. That this being would come from the proverbial (or literal) void was something that wasn’t unusual to Twilight, but it still unnerved her as to how and why. It might have been benign that he was to come here. Maybe it was fate. Maybe it was planned, too. Looking again, Twilight saw the fitful slumber of a man, and remembered her time in the other dimension. She remembered having hands and feet, and the upright posture she had. Finally, after a seeming eternity of walking through peaceful white willows and green brush, Twilight finally neared Ponyville. Taking a moment to slow here breath, and to look over the town once more, Twilight then considered her options as to how she should proceed from there. She could always go to the castle, of course. She might be able to see if Celestia had any council for her, now that there was a human in Equestria to consider. Additionally, she might also consider just going to Ponyville hospital. Their staff were trained enough, but their unfamiliarity with humans might become a bit of a problem fi Twilight decided to bring him there. Besides, there was always paperwork to be done, and the hours of filling out insurance claims due to injuries sustained here in Ponyville made her almost recoil at the sight of pen and parchment. Almost. Suddenly, a thought came, unbidden into Twilight’s head. Perhaps she should take this strange human over to Fluttershy’s cottage? The pegasus liked to live away from town, in what could be accurately described as a house that was decorated with a hilltop, as well as gardens and houses for small animals and birds. Fluttershy, someone who preferred the ground to the sky, was a meek pony, one who preferred the company of animals to other ponies. Regardless, Twilight thought, this would be a good opportunity for Fluttershy to finally look at a human. Ever since coming back from the human world, Fluttershy had expressed to Twilight, in hushed tones of course, that she would like to see a human, because that was certainly something that Fluttershy wasn’t at least aware of, not having seen them as Twilight has seen them, first hand. Looking to her left, Twilight could see a few green hills between her and her chosen destination. The grass was long, and smooth. The air smelled of trees and dirt. With a happy sigh, Twilight mushed on. With a few hard moments, such as the realization that the sled liked to slide down hills and resist going up hills, Twilight finally was able to slip out of the ad-hoc harness that she had constructed out of twigs and leaves, and collapsed for a second at the front door. All the while, animals of various shapes and sizes gauged the prone person that laid behind Twilight. After a few moments, several clicks were heard from the round door of Fluttershy’s cottage, and the door slowly opened to reveal first a pink mane, then a yellow face with the skyest blue eyes you have ever did seen appeared. After seeing Twilight, Fluttershy opened the portal to her house proper, and her posture straightened. “Oh. Hello, Twilight,” she greeted with a silky-smooth voice of angels, angels I tell you. Her perfect physique strolled out the door, and finally noticed the human on the stick sled. Her face fell, and she asked, “Um... who’s this?” As she circled around Twilight, and poked and prodded at the human, the herd of various animals got ever closer. They too, Twilight noticed, were curious, as they crept closer now that their guardian had approached the comatose man. Twilight told Fluttershy, “This, Fluttershy, is a human.” At this, Fluttershy’s eyes widened with all the surprise of an adorable kid and her mouth went agape in a cute as God as my witness expression of glee and innocent joy. “This is a human?” she all but squeaked happily. Twilight, with her own smile on her face, nodded, and continued, “I found him in the White Tail forest. I think he may be suffering from a lot of stress, since he panicked and ran after he saw me and then proceeded to tire himself out.” With a newfound glimmer in her eyes, and a pout that’s adorable as all-get-out don’t let anyone tell you otherwise, Fluttershy fawned over the human with her cutesy hooves, and… Ahem. Fluttershy said quietly, “Oh, that poor thing! It’s a good thing you brought him here! Who knows what he might have been through to cause such a hard time. Just leave him to me, Twilight. I’m sure that you need to inform the Princess of this development.” Leaning back slightly, and with a raised hoof, Twilight said after a moment, “Wow. That’s... insightful of you, Fluttershy.” Flicking her fabulous pink mane, Fluttershy looked up with a serene smile and closed eyes and noted, “Well, it’s what we usually do around here, and it’s certainly interesting that we have a human here now.” With a smile that was crooked, and eyes that searched desperately, Twilight simply squeaked, “I’ll be right back.” Taking off, Twilight exerted her wings, and they gyrated in a now practiced motion as the new flier took to the skies. It was certainly an effort, but Twilight beamed at the chance to practice flying. Twilight’s Castle drew near, and as Twilight neared her castle, she realized that perhaps it was time to name the crystal tree castle, because “Twilight’s Castle” just sounded odd to her. With the wind through her hair, tail, and feathers, Twilight took a deep breath of the fresh air. The air was fresh enough to drink. Descending, Twilight looked back in her mind’s eye to a few painful lessons on landing, and stuck out her hooves straight. As the ground near the entrance to her castle neared, Twilight flapped, and squinted shut her eyes. After a moment, she opened them, and looked around. She had landed, and landed safely! Grinning, she took a moment to congratulate herself on not crashing, but also was a bit sorry for not having done so in front of Rainbow Dash, her friend and flying mentor. Pushing her way past the heavy, thick crystal door to her crystal castle, Twilight called out, “Spike!” Waiting for a few moments, Twilight heard the pitter-patter of little dragon feet as her Number One assistant rounded a hall corner in a slide before resuming his toddler run towards Twilight. She had not noticed how much like a human toddler Spike was, with his round belly, small arms and legs, and a big head. It reminded her so much that Spike was still, in effect, a baby dragon, because dragons are weird like that, I guess. Ahem. Spike, having rushed to the door, panted through his tiny-fanged mouth with a hunched back and hands on his knees, before asking, “What is it, Twilight?” In response, Twilight said, “There’s a human in Ponyville, Spike. I need you to go tell Celestia about this.” His eyes widening, and grasping his jaws, Spike excitedly asked, “Ooh! Ooh! Is he a warrior? Huh? Is he from the past, come to avenge his kingdom?” Drawing her head back from Spike’s outburst, she thought long and hard about what might give Spike that impression. After a minute of thinking, she looked back to see a crestfallen Spike, who said, “Yeah, I should really stop reading those comic books.” Giggling, Twilight took Spike under her wing, and said, “Oh, Spike. It’s not that you read too many comic books. It’s just that you think that life is anything like comic books.” Under his breath, Spike retorted, “Says the Princess of Friendship in a Crystal Castle.” Realizing her mistake, Twilight laughs awkwardly, and released Spike. She then told him, “I must see that the human isn’t freaking out or something. He’s not in the best mental shape right now. Just tell Celestia that there is a human currently at Fluttershy’s.” Nodding, Spike ran off to carry out Twilight’s wishes. After seeing him depart, Twilight ran back out into the sunlight, and took off again. Her wings were still eager to soar, but they ached from a bit of exertion. Twilight did her best to ignore the strain, and climbed to an altitude she guessed would be necessary to be able to glide to Fluttershy’s house. With a bit of adjustment, Twilight was back on her way. The cool air brushed against her fur coat, and the wind stung Twilight’s eyes. She thought to herself, ‘How can Rainbow Dash stand this?’. She made a mental note to ask Rainbow Dash that very question later. For now, she would just have to focus on not crashing, like she just did, in the front yard of Fluttershy’s cottage. Taking the time to both spit out a few lumps of dirt and grass, and cleaning off some new grass stains on her underbelly and legs, Twilight fast approached the door, when she heard a most unusual sound. Fluttershy giggling. Pressing her ear to the door, Twilight listened through the door, only to hear... “You are so beautiful. You are so beautiful.” Concern and confusion crossing her face, Twilight nosed the door open and saw... Fluttershy. Getting belly rubs. From the human. Fluttershy was leaned against the human’s torso, and his hands rested on her withers and belly. What was more, Fluttershy seemed to be lost in a state of contentment and bliss. Immediately growing inexplicably envious, Twilight leaned first on her front left hoof, then her front right hoof. Then, her back hooves, as she fidgeted in the cottage portal. She saw something else that made her blush. The human took a deep sniff of Fluttershy’s mane. ‘Did it really smell that good?’ she wondered. Being sure to roll her steps, Twilight crept closer to the intertwined couple. Fluttershy giggled some more, with her closed eyes offering only the strongest indication of pure pleasure as the human’s fingers dug into Fluttershy’s soft, slightly pudgy but still nice belly. Before Twilight could say anything, there was an inexplicable flash of light. Catching the attention of everybody in the room, the white flash of light left behind... another human. He was dressed in head-to-toe in a dress shirt, slacks, and even a black tie. His brown hair unkempt, as was his clothes, and his was a mad disposition. No, seriously. Look at that face. It was as if his latte was late or something. This new mystery human looked over at the first human and Fluttershy, still locked in something of a lover’s embrace, and groaned loudly. Then, he hoarsely shouted, “You broke the rules!” Doing his best impression of a fish, the first human could only gape and stare as this new human then pulled out a receipt, and pointed at it animatedly, saying, “Look! This is your waifu! You don't get to cheat, Nate Wills!” The first human, now that Twilight knew was named Nate Wills, said, “But I love her.” Silence took the room. It was a conquest of the quiet kind. THere was nothing to oppose the reign of non-sound, and no foe that could displace the new bulwark of the absence of any audio in the room. Then, the new humans screamed. He screamed with all the rage of a mother whose child had just broken a new vase. He screamed with the rage of someone who just lost a videogame tournament, or perhaps lost his computer privileges. After he had finished with his siren-song of agony, he suddenly froze stiff as a board, then took a few deep breaths. He then said, “Okay, okay. We can work with this. We can work with this. We just need to... swap waifus. That’s fine.” Then, the new visitor started looking... at... the Narrator. Wait, that's me. Why are you looking at me like that, sir? I’m just the– wait, wait, GET AWAY– Oh, my head. It feels like a shark tank in there, but someone threw a bunch of tourists in there Ahem. After the... whatever it was the new human did, he clasped his hands, and now, with some sort of smug satisfaction, said “Alright, then. I’ve switched the waifus. Balance of the universe restored, and my wife will stop nagging at me. It’s a win-win for everyone! Ta-ta!” With a flick of his wrist, the new human dissapeared in a flash of white light, leaving everyone to blink at each other. After a short pause, Nate’s hand started to move again on Fluttershy’s stomach, causing the both of them to relax into each other. Oblivious to them, in a state of both confusion and envy... sat her. Twilight Sparkle. Fidgeting, her gorgeous wings fluttered and threatened to fully open at full mast. Her brilliant, amethyst eyes looked on to the rather cute scene of Nate and Fluttershy getting platonically intimate. It was clear to anyone, (especially me), that she really wasn’t comfortable with the whole sequence of events. Or perhaps... perhaps it was so that she wanted affection badly. If only I could do to her what Nate was doing to Fluttershy. Platonically. My hands would rub that soft coat, tickle her hoofies and trim her talented and powerful horn... Ahem. That is not appropriate for the Narrator to want, of course, and he knew it quite well. It’s just... oh, I’ll end the story here before it gets any more out of control. Good day, everyone.