"What's the deal with your cutie mark?" Joe asked baldly as I sat on his bed at home. His home, I mean.
I looked away. "Joe, it's just not something I'm comfortable talking about."
"Not even with me?" He asked.
"Especially with you." I replied angrily. I bit my lower lip and looked away. "It's embarrassing."
"You're a prince. It can't be that bad." Joe pressed on.
I heaved a heavy sigh. "Fine. I guess if I can't trust you with it than I'll never be able to fix the problem."
Joe sat next to me and wrapped a forelimb around me. "I wasn't raised by Princess Celestia. Technically, yes, she's my aunt and was my guardian, as well as my Head of House. But I was left mostly in the care of my tutor, Civil List. Civil was one of Celestia's advisors who specialized in etiquette and heraldry. She could name you every noble, guild master, and major business owner in the country. I guess Celestia didn't feel up to the task of raising me herself and she had to run the country."
"Civil...wasn't a nice pony. She'd spent years climbing the social ladder to become an advisor to the princess. So she resented being demoted to nursemaid, even to Celestia's nephew. I didn't understand much of this when I first arrived in Canterlot, but I've learned a lot since then."
"Civil hates traveling. She gets really bad motion sickness in even the slowest of pony-drawn carriages. So for years I was stuck in the castle, only allowed to go out in the city rarely for this event or another. Civil kept me on a short leash for quite some time. On the second birthday I had in Canterlot, I'd begged Civil to let me go out in the city and see some sights I'd heard other foals talk about. Civ was in a rare good mood and allowed me to go with some of my aunt's guards. They were under the princess' orders to keep me in line but also let me have a good time and I got away with a lot more than I ever would've admitted at the time. The day was cold, so I'd had a cloak on the entire time and that was the one rule I'm sure I followed even away from Civil."
"It wasn't until we got back that I took the cloak off and realized I'd gotten my mark." I turned to look at my flank. A gold four pointed star overlaid on a silver four pointed star.
"A compass rose?" Joe guessed.
"You know how bad I am with finding my direction." I pointed out.
Joe's head snapped back. "You'd never been out of the castle? For almost two years?"
"Congratulations, Joe, you're catching up. Still a little behind." I remarked drily.
"How many places did you go to for your birthday?" Joe asked.
"I don't know." I said, bewildered.
Joe twisted his mouth, then spoke. "It's important. Where did you go?"
I looked down, scouring my brain. "Uh, let me think. These are all out of order, mind you, but hmm. The Canterlot Zoo. An ice-cream shop. A bakery. The Canterlot National Museum..."
"You went to a museum for your birthday?" Joe asked, eyebrows raised.
I shrugged. "It was different. Sorta. The castle is a little like a museum, but I want to go see one because I hadn't been to one as far as I could remember. Then there was a festival in the Prench Quarter where I nearly slipped my guards and joined the parade. A restaurant for lunch. We toured some old mines in Alicorn Mountain and then we went ice skating."
"You really did get around to a lot that day." Joe remarked.
I smiled. "Yeah. It was the most fun I'd had since I moved to Canterlot." My smile faltered. "Until I got home and realized that I didn't know what I'd gotten my cutie mark in. We pretty much ruled out every activity I did that day. None of them matched my mark."
"Princess Celestia must have noticed something, at least?" Joe prompted.
"Civil told her that I got it for planning out my trip. Which I didn't. It was very spur of the moment and my guards weren't exactly thrilled to find themselves subject to the whims of a colt. Although I do remember one was a very good sport about the whole thing. What was her name?" I thought for a moment. "Ah! Macha Method. Apparently, she'd had foals of her own, so she was used to dealing with excited little balls of energy."
"Odd name." Joe remarked.
I shrugged. "Old name. I think it was Sireish. She had a slight accent, at any rate. Method retired not too long after."
I sighed again. "Well. Now you know."
Joe nodded. "I can see why you didn't want to talk about it. Does Luna know then?"
I nodded. "She accidentally triggered a memory in a dream I had."
"Oh, so she doesn't know." He said, crossing his forelimbs.
"No, she does." I replied.
"Does not. You just said it was in a dream of yours." Joe pointed out.
"You’re being a bit thick." I observed.
He snorted. "You're being a lot obtuse. What, did you tell her about this dream?"
I shook my head again. "No, the real Luna. She's the princess of the night, remember? Do you think her powers are limited to raising the moon?"
Joe tapped his chin. "I suppose. But that's a bit...strange."
I nodded. "I certainly thought so at first. She says she wants to help me."
"Help you do what?" Joe asked.
I sighed, turning to look at him sidelong. "Mend my relationship with Celestia."
Joe raised his brows again. "What relationship with Celestia? I thought she didn't raise you."
I put my head in my hooves. "I looked up to her. Idolized her. Even in spite of everything, every punishment, every time she couldn't make time for me, every time one of her other students took up her schedule, even after kicking me out of my own house, I love her. Damn it." My eyes misted over. "She saw a young colt in need and stepped in to make my life better and I can't even..." I trailed off, choking back a sob.
Joe wrapped his limbs around me. "Can't what, Blue?"
I pushed him back to look him in the eye. "I can't get anything right. My best guess was that my mark was a compass rose, so I was apprenticed to the Royal Cartographer to learn geography. I was young and stupid. I couldn't concentrate on maps. Hearing about interesting places from some other pony bored me. Instead, I started appreciating the topography of the Cartographer's daughter."
I shook my head, averting my gaze from Joe. It was probably not a great idea to talk about an ex in front of my current special somepony, but this was important. "When I broke things off to try to concentrate on my work so I could make my aunt proud of me...Four Points, that's her name, she took it badly. We'd fooled around and she got it in her head that I was more interested than I really was. She complained to her father who complained to Celestia. When I refused to apologize, Celestia did so on my behalf and my apprenticeship was canceled."
Joe nodded slowly, taking in the details. "And then?"
I wiped my eyes and continued. "It was one pattern of failure after another. I didn't learn from my mistakes right away so I earned a reputation. In time, it got easier just to be the pony everypony thought I was anyway. I felt powerful, as stupid as that sounds. Even with my reputation, ponies wanted to curry favor with me to get to the princess. I used them and threw them away. It wasn't worth explaining to them that associating with me would do them no favors with Celestia."
I looked into his eyes shamefully. "Do you think I'm horrible now?"
Joe let out a shaky breath. "Of course not. Do you think I'm the type to take horrible ponies home?"
I frowned. "But everything I've done...the ponies I used..."
Joe pushed a strand of my mane out of my face. "Do you want to keep doing that? Using ponies?"
"No, but..." I began, but he quieted me.
He shook his head. "No, Blueblood. No buts. We aren't defined by the mistakes we make but by the lessons we learn from them."
"Wish everypony saw it that way." I muttered.
Joe smiled. "Anypony who matters, will."
I reached out to him, pulling him close. "Right now, you're the only pony that matters."
He laughed. "Oh? Not still pining after Four Points? No secret flame still ablaze for a mare long out of reach?"
"I'll have you know that most ponies, mare or stallion, harbor more feelings for me than I do for them." I stopped, realizing what I just said. "Wow, that didn't make me sound good."
Joe rolled his eyes. "Focus, Blue. So, you've been with mares and stallions before."
"I am the prince of pleasure." I said.
"So you think." He challenged.
I quirked an eyebrow. "Oh? Is there another contender for my crown?"
Joe nodded, with a smile. "You're looking at him; I'm a stud."
I laughed and placed a hoof on his chest. It was surprisingly firm. Maybe this baker had something up his sleeves after all. "I'll be the judge of who the stud is."
***
"You're the stud." I admitted, stretched out lazily in his bed the next morning.
"You're pretty studly yourself." Joe muttered sleepily, his forelimb over my chest.
I struggled to between protesting further or feeding my ego. Unaccustomed to making allowances for other ponies, my ego won out. Turning towards him, I used his forelimb to tug him close enough to kiss. My tongue roamed around and over his before I broke away to trail kisses down his jawline. He moaned before he could stop himself, dissolving into most unstallion-like giggles as I worked my way down his neck.
"You weren't this ticklish last night." Not like his ticklishness would stop me right now. I kept up the act as he started to laugh more deeply.
"I had...other things on my mind." He explained as he squirmed.
"Shouldn't you be up?" I asked through a happy haze.
Joe laughed softly in my ear. "I don't think I can get up again."
I turned and blew up his nostril. Joe turned away to sneeze. "Not what I meant. Don't you have a business to run?"
Joe rolled over, stealing the blanket. "That's why I have Sue. Besides, it's the weekend."
I rubbed a hoof down his spine in spiraling circles. Joe half turned back to face me and I marveled at the flexibility of this baker, not for the first time. "You make it very hard to pay you back, you know."
He shifted back to face me fully. Propping his head up on one forelimb, he set his other front hoof on my shoulder. "Maybe you're a little too focused on paying ponies back."
"I have to." I said.
Joe took a slow breath and let it out through his nose. His hoof drifted up from my shoulder to my cheek. "Love isn't a game you have to win. Nopony is keeping score of who does what for somepony else. Not if there is real love between them. I'm not saying you shouldn't try to take care of somepony you love, but thinking of love like it's some sort of debt isn't doing you any favors."
His words stung, but made sense. I sat up slowly and ran a hoof through my disheveled mane. "What do you want for breakfast?"
He rolled his eyes. "You don't have to..."
"I'm making breakfast." I asserted.
Joe lifted his other hoof in front of him. "Okay. How about fresh fruit and some yogurt?"
I snorted. "I can cook."
He simply smiled his usual scruffy smile. "Okay. Pancakes work too."
"All right. Show me how to make pancakes." I ordered.
He flopped back dramatically. "I thought you said you could cook!" He protested.
"I can. Just could use the company."
"Fine, but I'm taking a shower first." He said as he rose to his hooves.
"Sounds good, I'll join you." I said cheerfully.
He groaned. "You're going to be the death of me."
"You know you love my youthful energy."
"You're not that much younger than me!"
"Apparently I am." I teased.
He stopped in front of the bathroom door. "Fine. You only get to join me if I get to call you daddy."
I snorted derisively. "If anypony's getting called daddy, it's you, Mr. Business Owner."
He shrugged. "You're right. Which means I'll just have to call you Master, or My Liege, Mr. Royal Prince."
"You're a royal pain." I said, stepping up to get close to him. I looked down and then back up at him. "You don't regret getting intimate with me--"
"Tartarus no." He protested.
I smiled. "Let me finish! You don't regret getting intimate with me so soon in our relationship?"
He regarded me seriously. "Let me repeat myself; tartarus no! We're both adults, neither of us want to play games or test each other's commitment. I trust you. And I hope you won't get cold hooves about us being together like we are."
I caressed the side of his face with one hoof. "How can anypony get cold hooves with a stallion like you to keep them warm?"
"Sweet talker." He said accusingly, before leaning in to kiss me.