Velvet walked back into the house after seeing off Twilight and OC heading off with the owl. She closed the door “Finally, they’re gone…” she sighed aloud as she let rip a fart she’d been holding for an hour now. She then walked into the kitchen and grabbed herself a glass then filled it with wine from the box [in australia we call that a bag of goon]. She took a seat on the couch, put her feet up on the coffee table and turned on some low brow comedy.
“Say Terance, have you seen my watermelon?”
“I don’t think I have Phillip, what does it look like?”
“Well, it’s round, red, and has some black spot in it.”
“Is this it?”
“No Terance, that’s your anus.”
“Oh. Are you sure?” dafuq did I just write?
No sooner had the picture appeared on the TV, which with modern TVs takes a good twenty seconds for some reason, the phone began to ring. She stood up and downed her glass of wine, knowing she could just refill it now that she was up again. Returning to the kitchen, she picked up the corded phone and answered “999. What is the nature of your emergency?”
“Hey Mom.”
“Shining! Goodness, I completely forgot you were going to call!” she said, straightening her posture and hiding the wine glass as if he could somehow see her.
“Mom it’s picture phone.” he responded as she did so.
“Oh… right. no point in hiding the gla- wait, no it’s not!”
“I know but I haven’t made a simpsneighns reference in weeks. At least not one that anyone here has gotten. So what were you hiding?” of course all he got from her was a low groan. “Hahaha… alright. Sorry Mom. I’ll talk to you later. Could you put Twily on?”
“Oh. I’m afraid Twilight’s not here right now.” Velvet answered.
“Really? It’s not like her to miss my calls on friday. Nothing happened to her did it?”
“No, no, nothing… well… maybe. It’s a long story. Fifty chapters long at the least.”
“You’re such a writer Mom. So… what happened?” he asked, joking at first but obviously concerned for his LSBFF [Lesser Sibling But Far Forlorn].
“Oh, where to start…”
“Let’s start at the very beginning.”
“A very good place to start. It’s been a long week for her. Starting at a new school and all. And the craziest thing happened there.”
“She made a friend?” Shining mocked.
“Yes.”
“Really? That’s great!”
“She’s actually heading to one of her friend’s places now. But let’s start back on Monday…”
Grainy anime style flashback to footage that’s already happened while a character narrates it
“Everyone at the school was looking at her. She thought it was her imagination at first but a girl she’d never met before came up and started talking to her as if they were old friend, even knowing Twilight’s name. It got worse from there. Some boy walked right up to her and kissed her. He woke up later in the nurse's office but before then she ran into the the girls bathroom and hid.
Turns out that some interdimensional horse-girl counterpart of hers appeared through a portal at the front of the school last year, transformed into an angel and fought a demon horse-girl. They called it a ‘raging she-demon’ but that just sounds silly so I went with horse-girl. She learnt all this from a younger girl named Silverspoon who she met while later hiding in the library. There were also five other girls who did some sort of magical girl/mighty morphin’ transformation along side, let’s call her PTwilight, and they all knew her pretty well too. And to top it all off, the demon horse-girl, Sunset Shimmer, was now friends with those five.
So later that day she went to the school assembly with Silverspoon, Sil as she calls her. A lot of the school had heard about her and that she wasn’t the same girl. That she just looked like PTwilight. Though, she also later on found out that the Sunset still had a bit of magic and was casting a spell so people would ignore her.
Of course being ignored is hard to do when one of those five girls gets up on stage, grabs the microphone and pulls your sister up on to the stage with her. And you know Twilight, antisocial and anxious. She had a teeny tiny little massive panic attack up on stage before she ran off to that same bathroom as before. She was in there crying and/or pooping for a while until Sil came in and helped her out. Which was quite brave of her since the possibly lesbian one of the girls PTwilight knew threatened anyone who tried to go looking for her after she’d run off.
After that she went to meet the principal: Celestia. Who for some reason convinced Twilight to stay at the school. At least for a week to try it out. I don’t know, maybe she knows something that we don’t. [or maybe we’re just buying into the Celestia knows shit and let’s events play out theory when she’s actually just a horrible leader] After that she ran into that boy who kissed her. She punched him. He must be a ninja though because he managed to block it. They talked and he apologized. He must also be pretty good looking too because Twilight accepted it.
Luckily Twilight was able to push all the panic aside for the drive home. She came inside, ate a muffin and I think she texted Sil? I’m not sure. Then it was time to walk Spike so she did that and went to the shops she usually goes to. And although I didn’t find this out until later [though the writer did intend it from the start] she bought a can of capsican spray, a whistle and got herself the pill. And not the music kind of the pill. And a kind cashier was nice enough to not charge her for the first too, seeing that she was obviously scared and needed them. [and I’m totally not referencing that again because it becomes plot relevant… lol plot]
By the time she got back home me and her father ha- sorry, her father and I, Twilight always hates when I make that mistake. We were home when she returned. Her father told her to shower then dinner would be ready. She seemed off as we ate but she didn’t tell us anything about what happened to her. Not right away at least. Shining Armour, can I ask you something? I don’t come other as authoritarian do I? I sure know your father doesn’t. It’s just she seemed afraid to tell us is all [at least that’s what the comments thought].”
“Uh… no. Not at all.” Lied Shining Armour.
“The next day she got to school late. I keep telling her morning traffic is horrible. Maybe now she’ll believe me.”
“You let her borrow your car to get to school?”
“Uh… yeah… MY car…” Velvet almost let it slip that they’d bought her a car before they’d bought him one. “She missed her first class completely and then spent ages looking for her next class. It was Maths and you know how much she loves that. Day one tests. You know how much she loves that too. But of course, she managed to… ‘endear’ herself to the teacher, Professor ‘Lionel Herkabe’ Whooves, and was openly told she’d become his go-to pick-on student, something about correcting him and calling him doctor because of his PhDs. After that she didn’t really mention first lunch and went straight to meeting Pinkie Pie.”
“Pinkie Pie?” Shining interrupted. “Lightish-red hair, never stops talking, defies physics?”
“That’s how Twilight described her. You know her?”
“Yeah. She’s one of those people that tries to meet and become friends with everyone. She came to my old school and invited everyone, literally everyone, to a big party she was organising. I’m sure there was some product sponsorship involved for some pastry shop but it was still pretty cool. They’re kinda really REALLY different but I’m glad she and Twilight are friends now.”
“Actually Twilight hated her.”
“What? How?! No one hates Pinkie Pie.”
“Twilight did. Oh, I forgot to mention she was one of those five girls who knew PTwilight. They were partnered together in Geology, the teacher’s name was Tom Ato, and she seemed to never stop fidgeting and being distracting. After that Twilight went looking for the library, hoping to find Sil. She found it. Didn’t find Sil though. After that Twilight tried to ditch Pinkie but just couldn’t manage too. It all hit the fan though when Pinkie made some comment about the two of them having chemistry and Twilight had to stop it right there.
She practically yelled at Pinkie that they didn’t have chemistry, that they weren’t friends and that she should leave her alone. Of course Pinkie had meant that they had Chemistry class together next. Pinkie was all mopey, then after class or school I forget which Twilight apologised but still told Pinkie they weren’t friends. But Apparently Pinkie still thinks they are so and Twilight thinks that everyone at that school is Carazy. Oh, and the teacher’s name is Love Potion but he and/or she got the nickname Love Poison years ago and is trying to forcibly maintain it even though no one even knows how they got it anymore.
After that she told me some A Completely Unrelated Side-Story that could easily be a stand alone story.
Wednesday rolled around and once again Twilight was late to school. But not as late this time. She only missed her Form class and made it to her first class on time. The last few days she hadn’t eaten at school and by the time she got home she scoffed down a muffin in seconds she specifically told me she was going to get something to eat that day. Which apparently was an important plot point. Anyway, on her way to her class she passed a vending machine and made sure to remember where it was. It had an Illegal Danish in it.”
And in the background of Shining Armour’s barracks could be heard someone gasp followed by a whispering “Illegal Danish?”
And a second saying “Illegal Danish?!”
And a third more distant and growing even distant-er drawn out “Illegal Daniiiiiisshhhhh….."
“Guise. Be quiet. I’m talkin’ to my moms.”
“That must be one of those maymays I don’t get. Anyway, Twilight’s first class was Maths and the grades from her test were back. She got the highest score natural… well, she sorta did. Everyone in the class got all ten questions right except one. But the teacher took all sorts of crazy things into account and 10/10 was still only something like 99.7% on the test. The highest and the lowest scores were paired off to balance it out. However the lowest scorer, Trixie-Tang Lulumoon, scored 89.9 and claimed to have failed one question because she knew this teacher did that in order to get paired with the smartest other student. Saying had she answered that last question she would’ve gotten a 99.9%, or at worst a 99.8%, making her smarter than Twilight.
Needless to say I personally think that Trixie girl is a bitch. She speaks in the third person too. I mean… what’s up with that? It’s weird. Oh, and Twilight disliked her too. At first at least. I’ll get to that later. Her next class was English and two more of the girls PTwilight knew were in this class. But unlike Pinkie they stayed away from her per Twilight’s request and the gay one’s threat. The gay one was one of the two too.”
“What makes you think she’s gay mom?”
“Well, Twilight told me she was well built, sporty, kinda had that sort of attitude and to top it all off has rainbow dyed hair.”
“That’s really closed minded of you mom. Just because of those… well they do lead in that direction, but still. To just assume. I mean, next you’ll think I’m gay just because I used to play with dolls.” there probably would’ve been laughter from Shining’s side of the phone if they drill sergeant didn’t have a pony tattooed on his chest.
“Shining… remember what you wore for halloween when you were six?”
“An army man costume?”
“Yes but you wanted to wear a Princess Elza dress. Your father freaked out and started yelling about changelings until you said you wanted to be on the armyz one day. The point is: we already think you're gay.”
“I have a girlfriend.”
“And until the two of you give us a grandchild [I wrote this before Flurry Heart was a thing] we’re still convinced that she’s gay too and that you’re just using each other to look straight.”
“Wow…”
“So the gay one and the country one, Rainbow Dash and Applejack, both avoided her. Then they got randomly assigned [railroaded] into a group of four together and if you think my thoughts of sexuality were bad, just wait until I describe Zecora… black. Like, really really black. And she only spoke in rap. It was mostly uneventful aside from them being assigned a book to read. The class was English, I think I forgot to mention that.
Lunch came around and I don’t know what happened over it. After that was History, another of her favourite subjects because it was read fact - remember fact, no subjection. She also said, though she doesn’t quite know why but she think the teacher, Star Swirl, is the both older and younger version of Prof. Whooves. The fashion girl and demon-horse girl were in the class and they avoided her. Which seemed odd to her given how everyone else had been seemingly forced upon her by some omnipotent, let’s call it ‘Writer’, that she decided to go over to them herself instead.
That wasn’t easy since fashion girl, Rarity, was being swarmed by boys [and one girl], which besides the fact that she was as Twilight described ‘stomach growlingly skinny’ and ‘could make even the most attractive of girls feel insecure’ and ‘no homo’, though your father and I are pretty sure she’s gay too.”
“Mooooommmm…...”
“Hey, you’re the one assuming that’s a bad thing not me. Turns out the reason she was getting so much attention was because demon-horse girl, Sunset Shimmer, I told you her name already haven’t I? Oh who can remember it was 2000 words ago now. And being an author in this story, that’s totally meta but not fourth wall breaking unlike this part that obviously is. Sunset was casting a spell redirecting the attention Twilight would normally be getting onto Rarity instead.
Seems simple enough. But how did Twilight find this out? Well Sunset froze time and told her. Despite her also saying she had limited magic power. I don’t know too much about magic. Well, not real magic anyway but chronomancy doesn’t seem like beginner level stuff you could do with not much mana. Honestly, it all seems farfetch’d and should probably just be ignored and pretend it was retconned out. I mean, really, magic? How ridiculous is that?”
“Not that ridiculous. A guy in my platoon was once abducted by aliens. Turns out it was actually fairies. And that fairies just like arse play.”
Velvet coughed “Myson’stotallynotgay.” then coughed again. She could feel his bemused stare coming through the phone. “Sunset Demon-horse explained it while freezing time but aside from them their teacher was in the time bubble too. He seemed to be more annoyed that they’d thrown off his exact measurement of time more than surprised about it. Sunny D then ended the spell, or rather couldn't hold it anymore and fell into Rarity. Actually it was more onto Rarity. And boys being boys, they all only helped up Rarity.
The bell rang and it was lunch time. Twilight went to the vending machine I mentioned earlier though at the time it must’ve seemed a lot longer ago than just a few hours. She saw Trixie there and waited for her to leave before going to get her Illegal Danish. Unfortunately… Trixie had gotten the last one.”
“I’ll kill her!”
“Easy Shining. She then walked around for a good amount of time looking for the library. She wasn’t looking for Sil this time, just going there for a book for English. For someone so smrt, Twilight sure has a horrible sense of direction. She eventually found it and went up to the librarian and asked for a book. I know she mentioned it exactly by name but I’ve forgotten what it was called. Unfortunately, turned out the last copy of it had just been checked out by a certain white haired girl.
She turned to see the girl and she was afraid it was Trixie at first but then the girl turned around and it was actually Sil. Trixie then stood up and said ‘Thanks for holding my book while I tied my shoes’... though she probably said it in the third person. Twilight then d’oh’ed and went over to the two of them. Trixie went off on her own while Twilight spoke with Sil. Turns out the two of them are cousins, that Sil was also grouped with someone for English, a girl named Sweaty Balls’ which sound somehow wrong to me but whatever. And that the librarian is dating one of the senior boys. Oh, but more importantly that Sil told Twilight to hold her ground and just say that she needed the book Trixie had.
She did. It didn’t end well. Trixie managed to somehow convince Twilight, my daughter, THE smartest girl there is… at least book smartest, that she was more intelligent. Twilight, taking Sil’s advise challenged Trixie to a read-off. The two speed-read the book turning a page every couple of second. After ten or twenty minutes and two thirds of the 300+ page book Trixie admitted that she liked having someone who could compete with her intellectually and the two somehow became friends from that.
And come to think of it… that entire series of events is just like what happened in that episode of simpsneighms you made a reference to just before. Anyway, Sil gave Twilight her number and said they should meet up tomorrow at lunch back at the library. There’s also the whole dealio with her phone but I’ll get to that later. Once lunch finished she had… what was it?... Biology. And of course one of the girls was in this class too. I think Maths was the only one she didn’t have one of them in.
The girl’s name was Fluttershy, she’s the one Twilight’s actually seeing right now in fact, and she’s a shy girl, maybe more so than Twilight. It’s actually kind of funny. You’d think Twilight would be the one saying nothing and trying to ignore the girl making conversation with her but it was the other way around. Fluttershy didn’t want to talk much but luckily Twilight found that one thing that she could just go on and on about for years. Like Twilight and books. They’re very alike the two of them.
Of course the teacher… that’s where it gets weird again. From what your sister told me, Fluttershy and the teacher, Discord, seem to have a rather… ‘mature’ relationship. But hay, I once slept with one of my teachers too. Sure it was three years after I graduated but it still happened. And that’s how I met your father. When I met the teacher’s son the next morning.
Discord questioned why Twilight had missed his first class… or something like that. It was more of he answered her question she didn’t ask with that. The topic Fluttershy would go on about for ages was animals and she seemed to know more about them then Discord did. The class went fine other than those two small things and at the end of it Discord told Twilight that Principal Celestia wanted to see her. And that she and her siblings and that’s probably why Discord hadn’t been fired/disbarred/imprisoned[again].
Principal Celestia wanted to see Twilight to find out if she’d changed her mind about leaving the school now that she’d met all her teachers and talked with a few people. It hadn’t. Not particularly at least. Twilight wasn’t as horrified by it all anymore though so that was an improvement but she was smart enough to know there’s far too much drama at this school either way and the best course of action would be to leave. And Celestia, despite me thinking she just wants Twilight there to boast over her old school of Crystal Prep that they have such a genius now instead, gave her the forms for me and OC to fill out and get the ball moving on that.
That night, I still don’t know why, Twilight came home ate dinner and was afraid to tell us. Seriously… do your father and I really come off as so… freak-out-able that she’d be afraid to tell us something just because we might not like the answer?”
“Uh… well, mayb-”
“What was that? Don’t mumble and speak properly young man!”
“Nothing! Please continue telling me the story!”
“Well she wanted to bring it up with us but instead asked about her phone. Your old phone, She asked if she could bring it to school with her. Honestly, I thought she already was. She got it when she was what, 10? We’d told her back five years ago not to bring it to school and I guess she’d thought that was a permanent thing. So for the last however many years it’s been she’d maybe used it four time and could’ve easily used the home phone instead. And we’d been paying for it that entire time.
She got a few… a lot of texts form Sil and was slightly annoyed after telling her not to call her too much and I guess texts count as calls too these days but she didn’t stay mad at her long. The last text in the chain of HORRIBLU mispelt speed texts was her noticing she was spamming and saying sorry for it. Hmm… this seems out of order somewhere because I remember Twilight saying something about sending a message to the number and getting a joke wrong number reply back before any of that… oh well. Not sure when that happened.
The next morning, which is yesterday now and hasn’t told me what happened today so we’re nearly done. The next morning she left for school early to compensate for the traffic. Problem is she left too early and completely beat the traffic and just arrived an hour early. On the good side she finally made it to her Form class. The down side, just like all of her other classes there was someone of interest in this one. The boy. Brad. No… that’s her nickname… no nickname isn't the right word… whatever it’s called when you think it’s their name but you know it’s not but don’t do it intentionally. Flash Sentry. It’s called a ‘Flash Sentry’ but I still don’t know what his actual name is
So he came and sat down beside her and they talked for a bit. Oh… uh… I’m not sure if I should be worried but he actually lives near by somewhere. It’s not that I think he’s bad or anything… it’s just, well, maybe I should tell you what I did today. Sorry, yesterday. So I knew Twilight’s phone was your old one and it’s really really old so I thought I should get her a new one. I also thought I don’t want to pay for it myself so I used them money in Twilight’s card that we put there to hide from the tax man.
While I was checking how much she had on the card I saw an odd charge on it… and I recognised the price and the place it was bought from. You know how we have universal health care in AustrEquestria [like any first world country should] and so medical products have set prices. Well, I was suspicious at fir- eh, long story short, she’s on the pill now. Also has a rape whistle and pepper spray. Also a new phone.
Back at the school, she and Brad talked for a bit, he mentioned he lived around here and told her the perfect time to leave to beat the traffic and not get to school too early. Though, he still did get there about twenty minutes earlier than most others. They just sat together against the wall outside the classroom and listened to music. His moosik. Which again, even if she says she doesn’t like him, he’s a musician and that’s just scary to hear about a boy as a mother. I mean, you know how Cadence swooned for your music.
Although one of his song was about how he wanted to get with his teacher for this class, Misses Mash. And, much like you, I TOTALLY believe Twilight’s straight with how she described Misses Mash as ‘a smokin’ hot bombshell of a perfect 10/10 with hip that don’t lie and a bust to match’. No seriously, those were her exact words. Ok… maybe she said that was what was written about Misses Mash on a toilet wall [by Button] but she still said it.
So being the first time she’d actually made it to this class Misses Mash asked her if she’d gotten the message she’d meant to have been given for the last two days to go to Principal Celestia at the end of Wednesday but other than that nothing else really happened. Well, she and Brad discussed why Twilight thought his name was Brad. She looked at the name written above him instead of below in the yearbook. And he also gave her a nickname but you don’t need to know what Twily’s nickname is.
Then came Biology again. She took her spot, which like most other classes, that I’ve been forgetting to mention, was when possible the third row from the front, last seat on the right, which all but History and English classes had. English had eight lots of four and History was just weird.
Flutterbutter sat down and about five minutes later but still before Discord actually arrived to teach his own class, a girl sat down beside Fluttershy and said ‘Haven’t seen you in ages’ or something to Twilight. Or at least that’s what Twilight thought at first, thinking it was just another person at the school that had met PTwilight. Turns out it was an old… let’s say ‘friend’ of Fluttershy. The girl’s name was Gilda and she was butch. Like, bulldyke butch. Which, as a bulldyke myself who got knocked up by some pitiful man I can say that.
Eventually Discord showed up and the rest of the class was filled with Gilda poking Fluttershy’s buttons. Eventually Twilight stepped in. Well, she tried to. She told Gilda to lay off Fluttershy which of course only got Gilda to lay on Twilight instead. And not in the good way. Things escalated from there and by chance Gilda managed to stumble upon the E-H word. Twilight was about to lose it and stood up but luckily [trollingly] Discord stepped in and asked Twilight what she wanted and she just said she needed to use the restroom.
I think she stayed in there for the rest of the class and I don’t remember what happened in the class after that. Or maybe it was the class before that, I don’t know. Probably wasn’t important. In fact, I don’t really know what happened much after that either. It’s odd, she didn’t say much and just skipped a few hours saying at lunch she met up with Silverspoon and Trixie and met Diamond Tiara, Sil’s friend she called Die.
The rest of the day was basically free because it was sports the rest of the afternoon and you know how athletic she is. Not to mention what happened that one time we signed her up for the Friendship Games… so many tentacles… why was that a bad thing again? I’m sure there’s more too it than this but what she told me today after school, that Gilda girl met another old friend and got in a fight with her. That’s really all there is to that story.
Unfortunately, that was VERY bad for Twilight it turns out because after that fight Gilda went to hide in the girl’s toilets, punched a mirror and yelled ‘Damn it!’ Three times. Which I don’t know what but Twilight said that was a very important detail for some reason and that I should remember it.
Being trapped in a toilet stall and hearing her out there punching, and breaking the mirror, Twilight pulled out her phone and quickly sent and SOS to Sil. Panicked as she was however, she stumbled and dropped the phone. And, I’m not sure how it got there from the message screen, but the flash went off and alerted Gilda to her being there. Next thing you know, the door lock’s broken and Gilda’s standing over Twilight.
It got messy. She didn’t beat Twilight up or anything, so please, please don’t kill Gilda Shining Amour. She was however in the toilets for a reason… and that reason was interrupted then erupted. Gilda left, either because of that or because deep down she’s just misunderstood… most likely the former. Twilight then fell down between the toilet and the wall.
Sil, Die and Trixie came in and helped her out. Got her cleaned, guarded the door so no one would come in and Die even called her manservant to come pick them up early and bring a change of cloths. Oh, Die is rich and Sil’s mother is hooking up with Die’s father as a sugar daddy. There’s also something going on between Sil and her father that was discussed in another universe [that oddly enough was in that one's rechapter as well] that’s an on the to write list for a expended this universe version but probably will never happen. Just pretend I said that last part with brackets around it.
Once Twilight was changed they took her home, not letting her drive in the state she was in. I was there when she arrived and that’s when I confronted her about the pill. She showed me the paperwork to transfer schools and told me everything. Including, though out of order for some reason right here in the time line told me what she did on Monday and how she stopped at the shops and bought a rape whistle and pepper spray, sorry, capsicum spray along with her usual drink and treat for Spike. But the nice [probably feminist] checkout chick only scanned the drink and treat, giving her the self defence stuff for free.
You know… now that I think about it she never mentioned picking up her phone after she dropped it in the toilet. Not IN in the toilet, but in the restroom. Doesn’t matter, I got her a new one even if it did get wet or broken or stolen or something. Also your father is still afraid of Spike and had to take him for walkies. It was really funny to watch him as he thought he was about to die.
And that brings us to this morning. She wasn’t planning on going to school but Sil and Die showed up in a limo/hearse thinking she didn’t have a way to get to school and after having met the two of them, though clearly at their best behavior, I very much like them. And, well, having a rich friend is never a bad thing. Though Twilight did mention the two of them did seem a bit like bullies to some other student. They did quiet down when Trixie mentioned a girl named Twist though. It wasn’t until after they left that I remember the paperwork was still on the dinner table.
I don’t quite know what happened today. If I had to guess, and this is completely my speculation and non-canon that I know this, she’s probably run into Brad once or twice and he’d ask why she missed Form class again. Then she’d get yelled at by the lesbian one of those six that knew PTwilight about something that was really her just venting about getting in that fight with Gilda yesterday before getting absolutely told by the apple girl along with a lazy and racist joke about the black chick. But it would also point more towards that latter option of Gilda just being misunderstood and going to be showing up again. She also met Vice Principal Luna somehow and a teacher name Cranky D. Donkey who kicked Pinkie out of his class.
That would then be immediately followed by Twilight running into Gilda. Then running away from Gilda. Gilda chasing and being angry that she had to chase her down to apologise and give her her phone back having read the SOS text and realising she dun goof’d. Also punching Gilda in the face as her instinct tends to be in fight or flight.. Demon-horse girl would try to retcon the majik stuff to have never happened and there would be subtle shipping of Rarity with a girl named Coco Pummel with Rarity being either completely oblivious to the younger girls crush or being a bitch and planning on taking advantage of. Which despite being the Element of Generosity, she’s known to do. Honestly it’s the first one because I find that funnier and cuter.
Then some other stuff would happen that’s not important enough to remember and finally she’d return home. With her car this time .Also there were a few hawt steamy shower scenes each day when she got home and Spike watched all of them. Spike is a non-sentient dog in this story. Everything I say after this sentence is canon of me [me being Velvet, not Bysen] knowing it again.
She got home and probably did some stuff before I got home. Texted Sil and arranged to meet up sometime over the weekend. Later after dinner, only about thirty, forty… wait how long have we been talking? Oh wow… more like two and a half hours ago. Nearly three hours ago now, me and OC were sitting in on the couch watching some ecchi loli animu and out of nowhere we hear a loudest scream from Twilight we’ve ever heard.
OC was up in an instant pulling chain and dog whistle out from behind the couch cushions that I didn’t even know was there and bolted up to your sister’s room, beating his previous record of ten seconds flat by 20% which if my maths serves me right is some weird fraction. I don’t know, I’m a writer not some fancy mathemagician. Get this, an OWL smashed through her window and got knocked the funk out.
She was hysterical trying to figure out what to do with it. We tried calling the vets but for some reason they close early on days. I wouldn’t mind better veterinary care but we have to prove those Mercans wrong that first is socialized health care, the next thing is letting us do that with animals [it’s a gay marriage joke but it’s forced as all hell]. So then she has a brilliant idea: Fluttershy. She wants to be a vet and mentioned that earlier if I didn’t mention her mentioning it.
Unfortunately she couldn’t find her LifeInvader page and couldn’t find her number on the phonebook app on her new iFruit [this story was originally started writing about a month after GTA V was first released. LifeInvader is there parody of Facebook and iFruit is self explanatory but also from the same source. And blueit is just a horrible pun. She was reading blueit when it happened BTW, the marefia’s ‘legitimate’ front page of the internet].
I’m not sure how she thought this was a good idea, though it did work in the end. She then used the paperwork for her school tranfer to get Principal Celestia’s number and called her asking if she could get Fluttershy’s number. Celestia said no, saying she couldn’t give out a student's personal information. Twilight hung up… then immediately called again. This time she asked for Discord’s number, who as Celestia’s brother she could give out from personal information not professional information.
She gave her the number. She then called and he answer by greeting Twilight by name right away. Turns out he was standing right next to Celestia when Twilight had called. Celestia didn’t want her to know that however… she also didn’t want Twilight to know that Fluttershy was also there at the time. It’s weird, I’m trying to ignore the suggested relationship between those two, possibly three.”
*bing bing* [because google sucks and beep beep is clichè. Also I’m replacing every other website so why not this too?]
“Oh, I just got a text from your father. Whose name is Orians Comet [not Night Light because I didn’t know it at the time I named him] but everyone just calls him OC for short. Of Course you already know that Shining Armour, the person who I am telling this too.”
“Mum… you’re acting weird.”
“Yeah well… I’ve been drinking while writing all of this and I don’t know what’s funny and what's not anymore. I’m pretty sure that was funny right? No? Well screw you, what do you know?! Anyway, the text says that Fluttershy and Discord, as well as the gym teacher and Celestia’ boytoy Iron Will are all furries and they’re hosting a furry meet up at Luna/Celestia’s house in celebration of the release of Zootopia.
Fluttershy fixed the owl’s wing and they’ll be home in about an hour. They’re not sure where they are or how to get home from here. Hmm… guess horrible directional sense comes from your father’s side.”
“That’s quite a lot. I really hope Twily’s ok after all that.”
“She’s a strong girl. She’ll been fine. Oh, but I’ve been talking for three hours straight. You probably want to go now.”
“Yeah, the line behind me has gotten pretty long. And angry looking. But it was nice talking to you Mom.
“You too Son. Goodbye dear.”
“Goodbye Mom. Oh, and one last thing. I want a car too.”
*Hang up*
