//------------------------------// // A Date With Fate // Story: The Study of a Winning Pony // by Ponibius //------------------------------// The Study of a Winning Pony Chapter 32: A Date With Fate For our date, Cloud Kicker took me to an outdoor grill by the name of MacMaren’s. Wood tables surrounded a small dance floor that bordered stage where a band was currently playing. Large lighting gems sat on poles, and strings with smaller light gems attached ran between them, offering more than enough illumination for the restaurant. The place was reasonably busy, but it wasn't too long before our table was ready. “What sounds good for appetizers?” Cloud asked as she scanned the menu. “I'm kinda torn between the fried cheese, the fried onions, or the chips and cheese dip.” “It has been a while since I've had a fried onion,” I said. “So how about we go with that?” “Sounds good. They fry them up nice and crispy, then give you dipping sauce.” Cloud waved over our waitress. “Sounds like exactly what I wanted.” I returned to my menu. Unsurprisingly, the menu was dominated by grilled foods, but most of it did look appetizing. The last thing I’d had to eat was ... breakfast? I was pretty sure I had at least eaten this morning before throwing myself back into wedding day preparations. I must have. Either way, my stomach growled in protest. A young mare who looked like she was working her first job trotted over to us and gave us a big smile. “Are you two ready to order? Can I start you off with something to drink, or some appetizers?” Cloud pointed at her menu. “I'd like one of those onions and a light cider. Twi?” “I'll take a light cider too, please.” “You got it!” The waitress scribbled on a notepad hanging from her neck. “I'll be back in a few minutes.” She departed, leaving me and Cloud alone again. Cloud returned her attention to her menu. “It’s been a while since I've been here. Better see if there's anything new.” “It can be nice to try something new every now and again,” I said, making light conversation. “Oo-ooh, a new grilled pasta dish. I gotta try that.” Cloud set her menu down. “So, looks like you're feeling better.” “What do you mean?” I was a bit surprised by the sudden change in topic. “You seem a lot more ... well, yourself,” she said. After thinking it over for a second, she wasn’t entirely wrong. I wasn’t at one hundred percent yet, but definitely better than the tightly wound mess I was just a few hours ago. “It’s probably because I'm getting away from everything for a bit. I hadn't really realized how much everything was getting to me.” Specifically, how much the bride was getting to me. I think I could have dealt with everything else if not for Cadance. Cloud grinned in a way only a pony up to no good could smiled. “Then my evil, mischievous plan is already working. Soon I will get you to smile too!” She made such an over-the-top evil laugh that even the most dramatic of actors would have told her to tone it down. Despite myself, I smiled at the display. “Mission accomplished, then.” “It's all coming together.” She offered me a more genuine smile before her attention turned to the stage, her hoof tapping along with the music. “You like this song?” I asked. Admittedly, I was starting to get into it too as I listened to the singer. She was wearing enough makeup to give even Rarity pause, and donned a really fancy outfit that just screamed ‘Pop star.’ It wasn't something I would ever want to wear, but it was certainly eye-catching. “It's got a nice beat, and it's fun to dance to,” Cloud said. “Though I don't have enough mane to dance the way Coloratura does. Probably why she gets paid to do it, and I don't.” “She's certainly dresses up for her shows.” So the singer was called Coloratura? I had never heard of her, but I wasn't exactly the most pop culture savvy mare in the world when it came to modern pop culture. I could tell you all about what was popular during certain periods of time, but I tended to be lost about what ponies liked today. The incident with my Gala dress made that nice and clear. Before my ignorance on contemporary taste could be revealed, our waitress dropped off our drinks and deep-fried onion. “So are you two ready to order, or did you need a bit more time?” “I'm ready,” I said. “I'll try that grilled pasta dish you were planning on getting, Cloud.” “Alright, make that double.” Cloud folded up her menu and gave it to the waitress. “Oh, and are there any rules about dancing?” “Just don't get too close to the stage.” The waitress nodded towards Coloratura. “Especially her. Her manager's really uptight about that sort of thing. Past that, not much besides keeping it clean and being considerate towards your fellow dancers.” “Planning on dancing?” I asked. “Why not?” Cloud asked with an easy smile. “Want to join me? You are my date, after all.” “Maybe,” I hedged. “I'm not exactly the best dancer.” Cloud waved off my reluctance. “That's fine. I'll show you some good moves. And really, this is about having fun. It’s not like it’s a competition.” I bit my lip as I considered the idea of dancing in front of so many ponies. She was right about this not being a competition, and I was here to relax for a bit. “I could give it another try...” Cloud’s grin widened. “Great!” She took me by the foreleg and led me to the dance floor. There were a few other ponies enjoying themselves as they danced to the music, and the pair of us managed to squeeze in among them. Cloud didn't take much time before she got into the moment. Her body flowed as she danced closely to me, her rump moving and she smiled suggestively to me. Nothing too risque, but clearly provocative as Cloud smiled invitingly to me. For my part, I stuck to some basics, just shuffling my hooves around a bit. Nothing nearly as elaborate as what some ponies were doing around me. “Not bad, but how about you get into it a bit more?”  Cloud smoothly bumped my hip without breaking her own rhythm. “Just let loose and have fun.” “Alright then, why not?” Feeling more confident now and not wanting to seem like a stick in the mud, I tried to copy Cloud and let loose. Emphasis on tried. I'm not exactly sure what happened. One second I was dancing, and the next I tripped over something and collided with Cloud. That caused me to completely lose balance and the whole world turned into a blur. I bumped into a couple other ponies before I fell back against a table, knocking it over to the surprise exclamation of its users. Food and drink fell over me. “Ma’am, are you okay?!” our waitress asked as she scrambled to get over to me. “Sorry, sorry!” I said, still trying to regain my mental balance after the accident. It had all happened so fast, and now I had a couple fellow customers looking very unhappily down at me. Little surprise when I had just ruined their meal. “I didn't mean to!” “It’s okay, ma’am.” The waitress grabbed a few napkins to try and clean up the mess. She was going to need more napkins. “Let's just make sure you’re okay.” She looked at the customers whose table I had just knocked over. “I'm real sorry about this! If you give me a moment, I'll get each of you some fresh orders to replace your food.” While the waitress was taking care of the other customers, Cloud emerged from the small crowd that had gathered and helped me to my hooves. “You alright?” “I'm alive. I think.” I flicked some salad off of me. “Though I've made a bit of a mess of things. Again.” Cloud grabbed some more napkins to help clean me off. “What happened?” “That's what I'm trying to figure out.” Once enough of the food had been cleaned off, I used a drying spell to dry out my dress. “I think I tripped. I have four left hooves that way.” “You more or less survived, at least.” She tipped up my chin to look me in the eye. “Hey, it's alright. We all have our weak points.” “Maybe we should sit back down before I cause anymore property damage?” More ponies were looking at me than I liked at that moment. “Good idea.” Cloud led us back to our table, looking me over for injuries (and probably just looking me over) as we sat down.  “You didn't bump anything did you?” “No, I'm fine.” I shook my head, the embarrassment of the incident making me feel depressed again. “Just another in a long series of disasters for the week.” “Relax, Twilight.” Cloud reached across the table to put her hoof on mine. “You're fine, I'm fine, everypony else is fine. It's a harmless little goof.” I took a long breath to calm down. I was here to relax, not think about everything going on in my life at the moment. “Right, everything is fine. You're right. Sorry, I'm not trying to be a downer here. I really am trying to enjoy myself.” “Hey, I'm having a great time,” she assured me. “You just gotta learn to laugh at the little stuff.” “I know, that's what Pinkie's always telling me,” I said. “It's just that it has been a bit rough the last couple of days.” “Yeah, I know the feeling.” Cloud scooted closer, leaning against me I applied my hoof to my face as I realized the context of what I had just said. Cloud had just lost her mom not too long ago, and here she was trying to make me feel good. The wedding wasn't unimportant, but compared to Cloud’s loss... “Right, this is nothing next to what you've gone through.” “Twi? Let's not worry about that stuff for now.” Cloud put a wing around me. “Sometimes you have to put the bad stuff aside for a while.” I rubbed my face as I let that advice sink in. “Okay, putting all that stuff behind me for the night.” “Good move.” She pecked me on the cheek, and I felt myself flush. Before I could reply to that, the waitress came by and went about laying our food on the table. “Sorry about the wait, folks. You need anything else?” Cloud shook her head. “Nope, I think that’s everything.” “Great!” she said. “If there’s anything else you need, just flag me down.” We both thanked her and she departed to serve the other tables. I was still blushing by the time she left, prompting Cloud to grin at me. “There we go, back to the Duchess I remember.” She waggled her eyebrows. “How do you like me so far?” “I like you well enough,” I said with exaggerated reservation. “Though you've certainly been a rock thus far in this date.” “Oooh, a rock? That's good, right?” “It means you've been reliable thus far, so I'd say yes,” I said. “Great. I guess I better keep being reliable, then.” Cloud took a swig of her drink. “And if you can get me to unwind a bit, then you'll be worth your weight in gold. Everypony tells me I should relax a bit.” The aroma of the food reminded me of just how hungry I was, and I dug into my pasta. “Glad to hear it.” Cloud peeled off another chunk of the onion and dipped it in the cheese sauce. “Though I think dancing is out, as far as relaxing activities go. And you don't seem like the type to enjoy a club.” “It would probably for the best if we didn't do any more dancing, if you ask me,” I said. Cloud nodded and took a bite out of her own plate. “There’s still plenty we can do. So ... what non-wedding things have you been up to?” I chewed that question over for a moment, along with my dinner. “Before the whole wedding mess, I had been keeping up with my studies. I'm still a busy bee where all of that is concerned. That's where I've been spending most of my time since you left Ponyville.” “I'm not surprised.” Cloud twirled some pasta onto a fork. “Learn any cool new spells you wanna show off?” “I have a few.” I felt a bit excited now that we had moved to a familiar subject. “Alright then.” She sat back. “Wow me.” I thought over my options. I didn't want to do anything too crazy—my rather disastrous attempt at dancing hadn’t earned us any good will, and causing any more property damage would probably get us kicked out of the restaurant. Getting Cloud banned from one of her favorite restaurants would probably wow her, but not in the way I wanted. Thus, I decided to go with something a bit simpler that shouldn't cause too big of a scene. My horn lit up as I focused on a spell. Concentrating the water vapor in the air and then bringing it to freezing temperatures, I molded the ice into a small sculpture of Cloud on the table. Cloud blinked and then leaned her head forward to get a better look as the small sculpture. “Wow. I'm impressed.” I smiled hopefully. “Really? I mean, it’s just some basic ice manipulation while focusing on creating a detailed object.” “Yeah, you just made a sculpture of me out of nowhere,” she said. “The ice part I guess could be easy, but getting it in the exact shape of me? That takes talent.” “It’s just a matter of mental discipline and practice,” I said, squirming in embarrassment in my seat. “Kinda like with making an illusion, but only making something permanent. Pinkie got a kick out of it when I made an ice sculpture for one of her parties.” “So you can just envision it, and then make it happen?” “That simplifies what is a somewhat complicated magical process, but yes,” I confirmed. “It isn't that impressive. I can't do anything that might scare everypony or cause too big of a scene.” Part of me wondered if Cloud was genuinely amazed or if she was pretending to be so in order to make me feel better. The other part of me questioned whether it mattered. I couldn’t really be mad at her for trying to make me feel better, especially when that had been the whole point of our date in the first place. Cloud continued examining the sculpture. “Well I'm still impressed, so you must be wrong about it not being impressive.” I felt some of the stress of the past couple days fall off of me at Cloud’s compliments. It wasn't that often that I got to show off my magic after all. “You're not just saying that because you want to be nice, are you?” “No, I really am impressed.” Cloud picked up the sculpture to examine it more closely. “You definitely captured all my best features.” “You do admittedly have a few.” I looked her up and down. “Well aren't you a charmer?” Cloud grinned, obviously enjoying the flirting. “Can't help but notice you got my butt perfect. Almost as if you'd studied it. Carefully.” I felt my cheeks burn. “I just wanted to make it accurate!” I said quickly. “It just so happens you have a nice butt. I mean rear! I mean plot—I mean dimensions covering the backend of your person!” “Glad you like it.” Cloud gave me a smirk that made me want to sink under the table in embarrassment. “Hey, we're fine. I'm certainly not going to complain about you liking my butt. Thanks.” “I'll make sure to keep that in mind for the future,” I said coyly. No sense making it too easy for her. Besides, I had a feeling Cloud liked the chase as much as anything else. “Including your good-looking rear.” “Great,” Cloud said. “And for the record, yours is very nice too.” “T-thank you.” I cleared my throat and took a swig of my cider. I knew it was a bit silly, but I couldn't help but feel a bit silly flirting like this. Even if it was kind of fun. “Um, and your mane is nice, too.” “So's yours.” Cloud took a quick sip of her own drink. “Getting the stripes lined up properly must take a lot of work.” “It's the bane of my mornings,” I groused good-naturedly. “Especially when I've got bedmane.” Cloud touched her own long, brushed-out mane. “Oooh, my sympathies.” “That’s why I usually have a stylist trim my mane every other week. Otherwise, all the colors get mixed up into a jumble. It used to drive Mom nuts.” “Well, it looks great right now, so you must be doing something right,” Cloud said. “But like I said, yours looks really good too,” I said, exchanging smiles with my date. “Thanks.” Cloud ran a hoof through her mane and gave me a playful grin. “Are you flirting with me?” I returned her a shy smile. “That is what you're supposed to do on a date, right?” Cloud nodded. “Yup. And you're doing a great job.” “I am? Okay, good—I made some notes for our first date, but then I kind of got derailed with everything that happened then.” I certainly hadn’t expected so many of my friends to interrupt us this evening. Just showed how small of a town Ponyville was. “So because of that, I didn't exactly get to use them at the time. That was a bit annoying, going through all that work only to not use what I prepared.” “Well, now's your chance,” Cloud said. “Though try and not to get too closely tied to the script. Some of the best parts of a date are getting to enjoy a bit of spontaneity now and again.” “I’ll keep that in mind,” I said. “Um, you're also looking like you're in good shape. But carrying around all that armor I saw you in probably helps. It’s hard not to get fit carrying around a full set of armor all day.” Cloud stretched out her wings, and I could imagine that those muscles were especially tired from patrolling the Kicker Compound. “Yeah, between wearing full armor all day and the exercises, I'm getting back in shape. It’s kinda nice, really. I've gotten a bit rusty over the last couple of years.” “That's good.” I gave her a wry smile. “Ponyville living a bit too soft?” “Well, I don't normally wear full-plate all day in Ponyville.” Cloud shrugged. “Your brother probably told you how much of a difference all that weight makes. It's hard not to stay in shape carrying it around.” I nodded. “So he kept telling me when he was training for the Guard.” “It takes some muscle to manage it all day.” Cloud posed as best she could considering the confines of the table. “Am I looking more muscular now?” I looked her over, something I couldn't help but notice caused Cloud to smirk. I should have known that having me check her out was at least one of her goals. “Yep, I think so. It's not a huge difference yet, but there is definitely a change.” “You like it?” she asked, sounding pleased with herself. I grinned at her, enjoying the casual flirting. “Little hard not to.” “You're sweet.” She leaned over and nuzzled me. I returned the nuzzle. “I can only imagine how you would look after a few months of wearing that armor every day. You do look really good in it, you know.” “Thanks.” She grinned and nudged me teasingly on the shoulder. “Got a thing for a mare in uniform?” I felt the heat return to my cheeks. “Maybe a little. It is very dashing, you have to admit.” “I won't argue with you when you're saying how good I look,” Cloud said. “And I don't mind looking at you, so there you go,” I returned. “Co-physical attraction is a good thing on date, so I read.” Cloud nodded in agreement. “Gotta have good chemistry.” “There is a lot that goes into a relationship,” I agreed. “At least from what I've read, and studying the relationships of others.” “They're complicated.” Cloud returned to nibbling at her food. “But for now we enjoy each other's company. And you like my butt. Good start, right?” “I've heard of worse starts.” That’s Cloud for you: either commenting about her own or somepony else’s rump. I had to wonder if she could last a week without saying something sexual. That might make for a fun bet. “I've experienced those worse starts,” Cloud said. “I should tell you about some of my worst experiences someday.” “It doesn't surprise me you’ve had a few bad dates with as many you've been on.” “I do have some experience in the field.” she took another slice out of the slowly disappearing onion. “Practice makes perfect, and while I'm not perfect, I do like to think I'm a pretty good dating and banging anypony.” “As for dating, I would say you're not bad at it.” “Glad to hear it.” Cloud grinned and gave me another nudge to the shoulder. “Put a smile on your face.” I let out a snort of amusement. “So you did, congratulations.” Cloud leaned toward me as a sly grin spread over her features. “So ... how are my chances of a goodnight kiss looking?” I grinned back at her. “They're looking pretty good at the moment. On the other side of the spectrum, I would also say that the chances that you'll cause me to cry and get my whole family after you are pretty remote at the moment.” Cloud rose up her hooves and let out a holler of excitement. “I'm on fire!” “You're so shameless,” I said. “Utterly shameless,” she agreed. “Anything for a kiss, then?” “Within reason,” Cloud said. “I'm not going to do anything that might upset you or cause your family to declare horrible vengeance against me.” “Probably pretty smart of you. And considering we're still within reason...” Steeling my courage, I went for it and gave Cloud a quick peck on the lips. Cloud did the same, even if she did linger a bit longer than I did. “Mmm, thank you very much.” My cheeks blushed as I contemplated what I had done. Kissing somepony else was far from something I was used to, though it was pretty nice. It made me consider what else the two of us might get up to after our upcoming third date. “So there, you got at least one kiss out of this.” “Thanks. It was really nice.” “Oh, you're just saying that.” Not that I didn’t appreciate the compliment, though. “No, it really was a nice kiss,” Cloud said in all seriousness. “I'm happy we got to share that.” Not wanting to dwell on that kiss for too long, I decided to change subjects. “So, what did you want to do once we’re done eating here?” “Do you want me to take you home, or…?” “How about we go someplace else for a bit? I'm not exactly in a rush to go back home.” It shamed me, but I was vastly preferring my time with Cloud than the wedding. Especially when taking Mi Amore Cadenza into account. “Sure.” Cloud tapped her cheek in thought. “Maybe the library?” “You want to go to the library with me?” I wasn’t quite able to keep the skepticism out of my tone. Cloud nodded. “Yeah, I'm sure we can find something you'd like to do there.” “It's a library, of course there is.” I wasn't sure exactly how many hours I had spent in the library, but I knew it wasn't an insignificant percentage of my life. “I just don't want you to get bored. It is a date, after all.” Cloud shrugged. “I don't mind doing a little reading.” Something lit behind her eyes and her ears perked. “You've never seen the clan library and museum, have you?” I shook my head. “Not that I can remember.” Cloud grinned. “Well, now's your chance.” A big smile spread on my face at the idea. “Ooh, that seems really fascinating.” After thinking it over for about a whole two seconds, I nodded. “You've won me over with the idea. Let's do it.” “I didn't think it would be that hard,” Cloud said. “So how about we finish up here and then head to the museum?” “That sounds good to me.” Cloud led me to the Kicker Clan Historical Museum. Like most of the buildings in the Kicker Compound, the building was a simply made structure painted red. The only sign of its function was the large, bold, engraved letters on the front that told its name. By the time we had arrived, I couldn’t help but notice that the museum seemed to be closed. Undeterred, Cloud merely pulled out a key and opened the door. She must have gotten the key as part of her Compound guard duties. Probably noting my reluctance, Cloud held open the door and motioned for me to enter. “Come on, it’s fine. As long as we don’t mess anything up, nopony is going to care if we have a look around.” “If you say so.” I entered, though still feeling awkward while doing so. Museums did have operating hours for a reason, though my curiosity overpowered the reluctance I felt. Cloud closed the door after us and hit a switch to turn on the lights. “So, any particular artifacts of my family you wanna see?” At first glance, it was like most museums, though it had more of a martial emphasis. That was little surprise considering the museum was probably made (or at least commissioned) by Kickers and intended for Kickers and their guests. Against one wall sat a series of armors that showed how designs had changed over the centuries, and along the back wall hung a variety of military banners from a dozen and more wars. All about the museum entrance were more displays and historical artifacts, and doors further into the building whispered of more wonders to see. “Hm, there is so much I want to see, and I don't know what you even have.” Deciding to begin the process of fixing my ignorance, I plucked a brochure that was sitting near the entrance and started looking it over. “Maybe some of the more historically relevant items. It's always nice to get to see a bit of history.” “Sure thing,” Cloud said. “Any particular era you had in mind?” Looking through the brochure, I listed off a few things that might be interesting to see at the museum. “Hm, there is the period around the Lunar Rebellion, the Liberation of Manehattan, then there's the Asparagus Revolt, and I would like to see what you have for the Westmarch War. I've read about all of those recently.” Cloud grinned and suppressed a chuckle. “‘Recently.’ Well, we've got tons of Rebellion-era stuff. You can thank the Cult for that. A good collection from the Morning Wars too.” “Then let's check out what you have here,” I said. “Though we don't need to rush, as long as I'm back home early enough to get sufficient sleep for tomorrow.” I hated the idea of rushing through a museum instead of taking my time and giving everything the attention it deserved. “Sure thing.” She bumped me teasingly with her hip. “Pity you've got one more date to go before I can ask you to stay over. Otherwise I could have gotten you to bed in no time once we were done here.” I bumped her right back. “Shameless as always, I see. Whatever would ponies say if they heard I stayed over at your place?” Cloud grinned in her typical shameless manner. “They’d probably talk about how jealous they were over the great bang I’d be giving you.” I snorted in amusement. “Yes, I’m sure that’s exactly what they would say.” “Hey, I promised I would give you a great time,” Cloud said. “And you have to admit, the look Dash would give once she heard that you lost your virginity would be priceless.” My cheeks bulged as I suppressed a laugh. “Okay, that would be pretty funny. I’m tempted to let you tell her that just to see what her reaction would be.” “I might just do that.” Cloud sounded very tempted by the idea. “Though only if you’re okay with it, and I’d have to tell her the truth after I got a rise out of her.” I nodded. “That would probably be for the best. I don’t need her bashing my door down or crashing through a window demanding to know why I slept with you.” “Sounds good.” Cloud wrapped a wing around my back. “Now then, I have a museum to take you out to.” “Asking me out to a museum. That is either one of the least or most attractive things I've ever heard.” Though considering it was me, Cloud certainly could have picked a worse place to ask me, especially since this was putting me in a good mood. “I'm a romance ninja that way,” Cloud said. “So, idea, how about we start with the area devoted to your ancestors?” My ears perked at the suggestion. “That sounds interesting. Any of them in particular?” “Mostly Sunbeam and Midnight, if we're doing Rebellion and Morning Wars.” Cloud lead the way to the wing of the museum dedicated to the Lunar Rebellion. It was quite sizeable and looked like a considerable percentage of the museum’s budget had been spent here—not all that surprising, given how integral that conflict was to the Clan’s history. All around the room was a series of paintings depicting important events from the war, and at the center was a statue of Shadow Kicker. Suppressing some less-than-dignified reactions, I headed over to where it looked like you were supposed to start with your tour. Sunbeam and Midnight were the two ponies that had really gotten House Sparkle going nine centuries back, so I was pretty interested in seeing anything related to my distant ancestors. “What do you have from my house?” “Probably nothing amazing compared to what you guys would have.” Cloud shrugged. “Mostly just things like a few gifts our family’s received from yours over the generations.” She stopped at one of the displays near the Shadow Kicker statue and looked at a very old skull with some faded pink paint on it. I wrinkled up my nose as I looked with Cloud. “Wait, did that belong to Shadow Kicker?” My eyes turned to the information plaque for the skull. Cloud read alongside me. “It was a gift, apparently.” “Interesting, if pretty morbid,” I said. “It seems that Midnight Sparkle gave this to Shadow when Midnight was still a filly. She ... had a thing for skulls, at least based on what I have read. But this is really fascinating.” Cloud quirked an eyebrow. “And very pink.” I shrugged. “Apparently Midnight went through a pink phase when she was younger.” “So she had other phases later on?” Cloud asked. I scratched the side of my neck as I recalled what I had read. “Among other things, she picked up scrimshaw when she became an adult ... in addition to casting her skull in valuable metals and gems.” I grimaced at some unpleasant relics of Midnight's that were still in the manor. “She actually turned the skull of a warlock by the name of Hidden Facts into a goblet. The thing always creeped me out when I saw it in a display cabinet. Shiny kept saying that he would pull it out of there and dare me to drink out of it.” Cloud nudged me with a wing. “There's a cheerful thought to start things off on. Kinda like any discussion in my family over the Battle of Maresidian Fields.” “My family has a bit of a history with ... eccentricities, we’ll call them.” Whatever else you might say about it, the history of House Sparkle was not boring. More than one historian had written about my house or one of its family members, and while a lot of those books had been quite interesting, it had made me wonder more than once if I was doomed to have a weird life. Nothing that had happened to me since moving to Ponyville had dispelled those concerns. “Is that your way of warning me you might go nuts on me?” She grinned teasingly. I gave her a flat look. “Yes, that's exactly what I'm saying. I might just go crazy and ravish you in front of the artifacts of your own ancestors at any moment. History just turns me on like that.” “Well, thanks for warning me ahead of time,” Cloud said dryly. “I do like to know what a pony’s turn-ons are.” She led me towards a large painting that dominated one of the walls. I quickly recognized the figures as that of Sunbeam, Midnight, Shadow, and Gale. They all sat in dignified poses in their cloaks, armor, and symbols of office. I read over the plaque sitting in front of the portrait. “Oooh, this is even a period piece.” “Yeah?” Cloud took a second look at the portrait. “Kinda ... basic, though.” “You think so?” I examined the painting again, trying to see what Cloud was getting at, but I couldn’t see any problems. At the very least it looked like most of the portraits I had seen from the era. “It was made nine hundred years ago. Painting wasn't as advanced as it is now, and this is the style of the time period.” “Fair enough.” She shrugged. “It's all of them posing for a picture. No personality to it.” “I guess. As I said, it's meant to be one of those more dignified portraits,” I said. “Now, if you want something a bit more lively, I can show you a few of the things we have in the manor gallery. Or maybe we could go to the Canterlot Royal Art Gallery.” That idea brought a smile to Cloud’s face. “Well that just sounds incredibly intriguing.” I felt another blush coming on. “It's something of a tradition for family members to commission works showing some of the more famous things they've done. It might seem a bit conceited, but I guess everypony would like to be remembered for something they did.” “I bet that would lead to some interesting results,” Cloud said. “That it has,” I agreed, remembering the art galley back home. “Sunbeam had something of a flair for depicting herself fighting warlocks, for instance.” “It is what she's famous for.” “Right, so for my family you get a lot of fighting warlocks, monsters, dragons, as well as some nicer stuff like those that helped to pass important laws or signing important treaties,” I said. “Just depends on who did what.” “Well, we've got plenty of battle honors here, so I can't really comment.” Cloud waved at what looked to be some captured pegasi and gryphon armor sitting against one of the walls. “Fighting and being soldiers is what my clan is known for. It’s all medals, captured banners, weapons, and armor here.” I trotted over to where a host of banners were hanging. “Oh! There’s one for High King Leopard XXII, High Queen Anastasia IV, the Doo Clan, and the Great Stone of the Alltheng. I recognize a lot of these people from my books.” “We've been pretty busy.” Cloud pointed to a nearby display. “And one of the scales of Vermithrax the Destroyer.” I went over to look at the scale. It was the size of a large shield, and despite its age, still had a sheen to it. “Oooh! You mean the dragon that was responsible for the Sacking of Vanhoover?” Cloud nodded. “Yeah, that one. Princess Celestia dealt with him, but an elite clan strike force helped.” “Right, I remember reading about that.” I didn’t know a lot about the incident, but that was something I might have to fix in the near future. Museums tended to get me excited about the idea of reading about all sorts of things. How couldn’t you be when you’re in a place of learning? “It was supposedly a pretty crazy fight,” Cloud said. “Granted, it’s hard to fight a dragon without things going nuts.” “Right, which is why my friends and I tried to avoid a fight with that one dragon that wanted to go into his hundred year sleep near Ponyville.” “Considering you can count the number of non-alicorns who have won fights with a dragon on your hooves...” “A bit of an exaggeration, but yes, point taken.” I could name a number of ponies, either solo or as part of teams, that had defeated dragons in the past. Granted, they were in the minority. Dragons weren’t a joke in a fight. It still felt a bit weird to think that I had done something like that. Thank goodness we had Fluttershy to help sort that one out; otherwise, things could have gotten ugly. “Anyway, what...” Cloud trailed off and her ears perked. I tried to ask what was up, but she held a hoof over my mouth. When she next spoke, it was in a hushed tone. “Just a second.” Cloud trotted over to a closed door, and in a swift motion, opened it. Inside of a supply closet was a pair of young mares smooching away. Cloud raised an eyebrow at the pair of them, and they froze in place. I stepped over to get a better look at the two of them. “Sparkler? Star?”  Sparkler waved her hoof sheepishly, her face taking on a deeper shade of red with every passing second. “Er ... hey.” For Star’s part, she did a bit better at hiding her embarrassment over getting caught, but only a little bit. Even somepony who loved museums as much as I did didn't think of a museum as a place to make out... Okay, maybe I found a museum as a little bit romantic, but I was pretty sure I was an outlier for that sentiment. “What are you two doing here?” I asked. Cloud grinned mischievously, and I could all but hear her rubbing her hooves together in conspiratorially. “Pretty sure they were seeing how far Star's tongue could fit into Sparkler's mouth.” Sparkler let out the groan of a put-upon teenager. “Cloud...” Star hip bumped Sparkler, going for a cocky grin that did little to hide how nervous she was. “She's not wrong...” I applied my hoof to my face. Of the thing I had considered might happen during our date, this was not one of them. I was surprised to see that Sparkler was even in Canterlot. “Do I want to know if your mom knows you're here, Sparkler?” “She does.” While she initially sounded confident, her blush deepened and she amended, “Um ... she doesn't quite know about...” “These two lovebirds just hooked up,” Cloud explained for her. Cloud seemed a lot less surprised about this than I had been, so she probably knew about this little romance. Star was Cloud’s cousin, and it wasn't hard for me to imagine Star asking Cloud for advice. “Ah, okay then,” I said, taking in all the information I had been given. “I guess I won't do something rash then.” “Um ... like what?” Sparkler asked, sounding worried. “Like tell your mom that you were making out in a museum,” I told her. Sparkler’s ears flattened. “Please don't.” I waved dismissively. “I'm not going to tattle on you just for kissing. Granted, I think you should tell her you're dating, but I wasn't planning on raising a ruckus just for this.” Sparkle put a hoof to her chest as she let out a relieved sigh. “Thanks.” “And you...” Cloud stalked over to Star. “Need some advice on good secret make-out spots?” “Maybe you shouldn't be encouraging your cousin like that when she has a pretty young fillyfriend?” I cautioned. I could see a few ways the two of them could get into trouble with Cloud’s help. “Twilight, they're gonna smooch either way,” Cloud said. “I'm just trying to find them a little privacy.” That was probably true, but I wasn't completely comfortable with the situation. “Well, yes, but it's not like they need to keep it secret.” “Wanna go make out in front of all our friends and family?” Cloud asked. “N-no!” I regained my composure before speaking again. “Okay, point made.” Sparkler shuffled nervously. “So ... um...” It was clear that Sparkler wanted to get out of this uncomfortable situation, so I gave her a reassuring smile. “Don't worry, you're off the hook.” Cloud nodded in agreement. “I'll tell you and Star all the best makeout spots so that you can do your thing in private.” I shot her a rueful smile. “And why am I not surprised you know all the best makeout spots?” Cloud smiled back. “Because I'm me?” “Oh right, that.” I smacked her playfully on the chest. “You knew what you were getting into with me,” Cloud said with smug confidence. “True, I can't claim ignorance.” It's not like it took that long to figure out the basics. Star cleared her throat. “So, mind giving us one of your spots so that the two of us can go someplace without being interrupted?” “Sure.” Cloud gave them directions to one of Canterlot’s gardens that was supposed to be pretty private during this time of night. Knowledge in hoof, and walking hip to hip, the two of them headed out of the museum and do what young lovebirds are prone to do. After the two of them had made their escape, I turned to Cloud. “Well, that was unexpected.” “Yeah, but that’s part of the fun, if you ask me.” Cloud nudged me. “Come on, you have to admit that was a little fun.” “Okay, it was pretty exciting to catch them in the act,” I admitted. Cloud grinned, clearly delighted that I had enjoyed the little incident with her cousin and Sparkler. “Oh really? Exciting?” “In a very mischievous way, yes. But enough of that.” I took her by the leg. “I believe we have a tour of the museum to complete.” “I'm a dead mare,” Cloud said with a groan. We were on the way back to the manor now that we were done exploring the Kicker Clan Museum. The night sky probably would have been nice to see if not for the pink bubble of my brother’s shield spell hanging over us. “Why is that?” I asked “You know how late it is?” The question had been more of a statement than a question. I looked up to try and judge what time it was based on the night sky, but was confounded by the shield. “It isn't that late, is it?” At least I didn’t think we had spent that much time at the museum. Sure, we had gone into every room and looked at every display, but ... okay, I might have spent more time than I realized just looking around. Time does tend to fly in museums. Cloud let out an exasperated sigh. “Late enough to make your mom angry with me.” I gave her a smile that was strained at the edges. “She might be asleep by now.” “Trust me, she's not,” Cloud said. “I’m speaking from experience. Parents stay up and wait when they know their little filly is out on a date.” Unable to find a way to argue the point, I decided to take a different approach to reassure her. “I could head inside by myself. That way you can dodge the worst of it.” Cloud shook her head, then pecked me on the cheek. “I can handle it. This isn’t anything I haven’t done before. But thanks for thinking about me.” “S-sure thing.” We arrived at the manor and I trotted to the front door. I looked back to her before opening it. “So, do you want to come in, or is this where we part?” She stepped up to the door. “I might as well come on in and face the music. That tends to work out better that way in the long term anyways.” “Alright then.” I opened the door and headed inside. Upon reaching the living room, I found my mom engrossed in a book on the couch. When she didn’t notice us, I called out to her.“Hi Mom, I'm back.” “Twilight?” Mom’s ears perked and she got off the couch. She hugged me before looking me over. “It's late, I was getting a bit worried.” “Sorry,” Cloud said, sounding appropriately apologetic, probably as a result of practice over the years. “We stopped by a museum and lost track of time.” I chuckled awkwardly and rubbed the back of mane. “I kinda got distracted. It was pretty exciting to get to go through the Kicker Clan Museum.” Mom hummed unhappily. “Well, the important thing is that you're home now. Did you enjoy your date?” I nodded. “I did. It was a lot of fun, actually.” “That sounds nice,” Mom said. “You're going to have to tell me all about it during breakfast.” She grinned at Cloud. “The good news is that I'm not chasing you away with a baseball bat.” Cloud let out a relieved sigh but then paused, a sudden tension in her frame. “This isn't one of those things where you're just setting me up for something way worse once I relax, is it?” Mom shook her head. “Not this time. Don't worry, I'm not going to hex you with some awful curse or get you sent to Tartarus.” “Mom!” I protested. “She was nice.” Cloud gave Mom a flat look. “Yes, please listen to your daughter who doesn't want me to suffer horribly.” “I will—for now.” Mom grinned evilly. “Though I reserve the right to change my mind later.” “So noted.” Cloud cleared her throat. “By the way, I love what you've done with your mane.” Mom covered her mouth as she snorted with amusement. “Figures it would have to be a shameless flirt to get my daughter to finally go out on a date.” “Mom!” I protested again. Really, Cloud was flirting with my mom, and Mom seemed to be enjoying it. What wasn’t wrong with this picture? Either unaware or unbothered, Cloud plowed ahead. “I mean it though. Really.” “Oh, I don't doubt it,” Mom tittered. “Though I'm a bit old to be flirting back with young mares like yourself.” Cloud’s grin became more confident as her worries about being turned into a frog shrunk. “Nonsense. You're never too old to be beautiful.” I rolled my eyes. “Cloud, are you dating me or my mom?” “You, Twilight.” Cloud gave me a carefully chaste kiss. “I'm just being friendly. And trying to get myself some insurance that your mom isn’t going to turn me into a statue.” I made myself calm down and forced a grin on my face. “Good to hear. Otherwise we might need to have a talk—one that might involve me turning you into a statue.” Cloud chuckled. “I don't think you need to worry about your mother stealing me.” “Well I better get you going before you start giving my mom ideas.” Thinking about the idea for a moment, I gave Cloud a kiss on the lips, a kiss she quickly returned. “And that’s to remind you of who you're really dating here.” Cloud brushed some of my mane aside and smile warmly. “Like I could forget you.” Mom stepped in closer, a smile on her face that I didn’t like at all. “And don't forget me, either.” She gave Cloud a quick peck on the cheek. “Never would,” Cloud said, returning the favor. “See that you don't.” Mom turned to leave the living room, but stopped before making it too far. “Though do remember who you are dating. Twilight deserves a little bit of happiness in her life.” With that she departed, swaying her hips in ways I did not like at all. Cloud stared after her as she left. “Huh. Not bad.” “Cloud!” I punched her in the shoulder. “Don't check out my mom!” From around the corner, I could hear Mom laughing. Yes, she must being having a riot over this... I really hope she didn’t tell anypony else about this. “You're doing this on purpose!” I yelled after her. Cloud chuckled. “Yeah, she is. I have to admit, she’s good at this.” “Relax, honey,” Mom said from out of sight. “I'm not going to steal your fillyfriend. Now say goodbye to her and head to bed. We have a big day ahead of us tomorrow.” Cloud patted me on the back. “Yeah, she's just messing with you. Parents do that.” Her smile faded as she said that, and I realized how our conversation with my mom must have reminded her of her own mother. I hugged her, almost on instinct. “Hey, I'm here.” Cloud returned the hug, squeezing me tightly. “Yeah, I know.” Cloud took a deep breath and nodded. “It’s just ... memories and stuff. I’m fine.” “Are you going to be fine going home this late at night?” I asked. “We have guest rooms here if you need one.” Cloud shook her head. “I'm fine. It’s not a long walk home.” “Alright, see you later, Cloud,” I said. “Sorry if we ended on a bit of downer. You did a great job of helping me feel better.” Cloud waved my apology off. “Nothing to apologize for, I'm just glad you're feeling better. Though for the record...” She craned her neck to look at my rear. “The reason I liked your mom’s rear is because it reminded me of yours. Have to say, it’s one of the nicest I’ve ever seen.” I chuckled and shook my head. Cloud really did never change. “Well, for the record too, yours is nice too.” Before she could answer, I swiftly slapped her rear and then teleported her out of the manor. Maybe that would give her something to remember on the way back home.