//------------------------------// // Will Linger Forevermore // Story: And How Would It Be With Our Souls? // by QS //------------------------------// The door opens. “Another visitor for you, Ms. Fluttershy.” I listen for a second to see if I can tell who it is just by her gait. All I can tell is that she’s sure-footed, maybe a little worried about something. After a moment, I give up and open my eyes. “Hi, Fluttershy.” Twilight looks like the way she almost always did. Or at least, I think so. Slightly furrowed brows, lines at the corners of her eyes. I’m… rather sure she almost always looked like this. On a second thought, her mane is different. I couldn’t really tell from a first glance, but yes, she isn’t wearing it straight. The top part looks a little wavy, and the bottom is coiled into tight curls. “Hi, Twilight.” “So, how are you feeling?” She is asking me this because the last time she dropped by, I wasn’t feeling all that well. I’d thought I did my bestest job to make peace with the fact I wouldn’t be walking out of this hospice, that my time would soon arrive. I don’t know what exactly it was that made me feel the way I did--maybe it was the way the light from the window cast itself across Applejack’s frame as she stood up to greet Twilight, all harsh lines and shadows of age but still firm and strong; maybe it was how Tank woke and made his way across the sheets to nuzzle Rainbow Dash like he’d almost always done in the last sixty years to wake her up; maybe it was how Twilight’s mane seemed to shimmer in the wind, how the flower in her hair and the flowers in the vase she brought with her smelled so strongly of spring. Whatever it was, I couldn’t bear talking to them anymore. I couldn’t even bear to keep my eyes open. Applejack excused herself afterwards. I wish she was here again, so I could apologize to her. “A little better.” I tell Twilight. And I am. I’ve flown to the top of the highest mountain in Equestria to rescue stranded climbers. I’ve gone deep into the badlands to help struggling diamond dog clans get back on their feet. I studied and passed the exam to be a veterinarian and saved lots of animals, and quite a number of ponies, too. For the ones I could not save, I made their final moments as peaceful and painless as possible. I’ve lived a good life. Maybe not without regrets, but yes, it’s been a wonderful time. Twilight smiles. “I’m glad to hear that. Has… did Applejack come back?” “No…” I look down. At the foot of the bed, Rainbow Dash begins to stir. Tank is still asleep. They’ve been here since two days after I arrived. I’m convinced neither of them would leave until it was all over, and I’m thankful for that. “Wha… Twilight, is that you?” She mumbled. “Wakey wakey, Rainbow Dash.” Twilight intoned playfully. “Man, am I glad to see you!” Rainbow lifted her head. “How is everything?” “Oh, just the usual. Trying to get the Ministry of Transportation’s internal review on track, sorting through all the petitions to the throne…” My eyes settle again on Twilight’s mane. She begins moving animatedly, sharing a laugh with Rainbow Dash over their lengthy experiences with red tape in the military and the government. All I can really think of was how there was only one pony I’ve known who could have dressed Twilight’s mane so neatly. Rarity. Dear Celestia, how I miss her. “Is something the matter?” Twilight looks up at me. “Oh, no. Just… remembering something.” I give her a smile. “Oh! That reminds me. You wouldn’t believe what I found on sale the other day. Here, take a look!” She lifts a long paper tube out of her saddlebag, and unrolls it in my lap. I examine the poster. “Oh… oh my.” Rainbow Dash scoots closer to get a better look. A much younger version of myself looks back at her through half-lidded eyes. In the picture, I am wearing a glittering white gown, and my mane is dressed in elaborate knots above my head. I’d say it was all Rarity’s idea, but it was actually mostly me. She just gave me the push I needed. After all, veterinary schools are pretty expensive, and I’d had some prior experiences in modeling. Getting back into modeling made sense from a financial standpoint, and when I got more comfortable with the work, I even started having a bit of fun despite myself. Still, as I’ve realized long ago, the spotlight was not for me. Thankfully, no one bothered me about it much after I became a veterinarian--once in a blue moon, someone would ask for an autograph, and I was always happy to oblige. But it was all so long ago. “Ooo…” Rainbow Dash is ogling . I suppose it could have been long enough that some of my old posters would be collectors’ items now. “You wouldn’t believe the bargain I got this at.” Twilight grins. “The comics store was clearing out their inventory and had this on sale for just thirty bits! I’m pretty sure it’s worth at least double that, seeing how this was a limited printing. I thought it would bring back some good memories.” “Hey, what’s this?” Rainbow Dash nudged at the poster’s corner, lifting it with her wing. “Wow, it’s even autographed. Remember signing this one, Fluttershy?” “I… I’m not sure.” “If I recall, this was from one of the early collections Rarity made with Golden Fleece, so I’m guessing it was just a year or so after Fluttershy started modeling again. Unless I’m remembering it wrong, of course.” Twilight quips. She is remembering correctly. Rarity had met Golden Fleece around the time when I enrolled in veterinary school. They both found each other a like-minded creative spirit, and soon began drafting cooperative projects together. When the time came to exhibit their work, Rarity recommended me to Golden Fleece, and I ended up posing for posters like the one in my lap. I was happy to help them, of course. Despite my lingering stage fright, I’d gladly help Rarity bring her visions to life. Seeing her happy at the fruition of her work always made me smile. Maybe it was because I’ve been nursing a crush on her since I was 21. I can’t say for sure how exactly it started. Maybe it was that first week I moved to Ponyville, when absolutely everything seemed to be in short supply and I didn’t know where I could get anything. Rarity brought tools and furniture, helped me unpack what little I had; she showed me where everything was in town, and put in a whole day’s effort to make my new house feel like home. I didn’t know how I would thank her. She told me it was no big deal. But it was a big deal, even if she didn’t want to make it one. I felt compelled to look for some way to repay her kindness, since she helped me out so much. My chance came quickly. One day, Rarity decided to eat out and invited me to join her. We went to an upscale Prench restaurant by the side of the river. When the bill came, I tried to pay for it myself, but Rarity would have none of it. We went back and forth for a little while, and I tried my best to be insistent. “My dear, we’re bickering like lovers! There’s really no need for this, Fluttershy.” “No, it’s the least I can do…” Maybe it’s a bit of wishful thinking, but looking back now, Rarity’s words seem prescient. Despite my efforts, we ended up splitting the bill. Since she’d had a bit to drink, I offered to take Rarity home, and she accepted. The moon was full that night, so it wasn’t too dark to see. We passed the movie theater on our way back. Two stallions walked out of the doors just before we got there. They talked for a moment, then turned and headed toward us. I noticed Rarity ogling them as they passed us by. After we’d walked for another block, Rarity turned towards me and said, “Did you see the one on the left? Such graceful legs…” “Mm… yes.” I nodded back. Rarity leaned in, eyes half-lidded. “I prefer them a little on the slender side. Of course, there’s nothing wrong with a little bit of bulk. Like the one on the right--simply magnificent shoulders and haunches. Come to think of it, I think I have something lying around the shop in his size…” “Mhm.” “What do you prefer, Fluttershy?” Rarity continued. “Perhaps you’re the type who wants a big, strong stallion to hold you close. Oh yes… snuggle up tight with you at night and keep you warm…” I couldn’t tell her then that I only had eyes for mares, but otherwise, she was right. Being by myself is calming, and I like the quiet, but sometimes it just gets very lonely. She’d gotten closer and closer to me as she spoke. We were rubbing shoulders and her muzzle was really close to mine. I could make out the littlest details on her face right then. What I thought was lip gloss was actually a very light-colored lipstick, tastefully contrasting with her pristine white coat. She’d used two shades of eyeshadow, one slightly more blue and one slightly more pink than the other, overlapping and fading into each other precisely. Her eyelashes were fake, but they matched her mane and brow so closely that no one could have told from a distance; I only noticed this because the particles that made them twinkle faintly in the light were not from any mascara, but were embedded in the hairs themselves. Her breath was really hot on my nose. I blushed, hoping against hope that she would not notice. “Is something the matter, Fluttershy?” Twilight jolts me out of my reverie. “Hmm?” “You kinda spaced out there a little, Fluttershy.” Rainbow Dash smiles at me. “Remembering the good times, huh?” “... Yes.” “Hey, ‘your majesty’, still remember that time before we put the Elements of Harmony back in the tree, when you went around for a whole day looking for a ‘friendship problem’ to report on but couldn’t find one, so you made one, but it got so out of control Princess Celestia had to show up just to take care of the mess?” Twilight smiles bashfully. “Oh Rainbow, please…” I can’t quite remember what they were referring to, but I suppose there is no urgent need to do so. So much has happened since the day we broke the curse on Princess Luna. I’d already known Rarity for four years at that point. It’s interesting, what we can remember and what we can’t. I can still remember how Rarity looked the first time we met. Her mane and tail were curled, as they almost always were, though she looked a little more frazzled than her usual. Strands of her mane had fallen out of alignment, making little curls of their own on the side. She didn’t have any makeup on then. It may seem out of character for her to do that, but there certainly were days when she didn’t put anything on, especially earlier on. Of course, those days got fewer and fewer as more lines appeared on her face--until she came back to Ponyville after she separated with Golden Fleece. She never wore makeup again after that. Of course, on that day in particular, I had no ideas of her daily habits just yet, so I thought it was normal for her. She apologized for being a little less than presentable, and said something about having had to take her sister to the hospital. I thought she looked perfectly fine, and told her this. I’ve never truly believed in the concept of love at first sight, but I do admit first impressions have a potential for lasting a lifetime. Rarity made a very memorable impression on me; she was one of the most beautiful ponies I had ever met. The effect was strong enough that I’ve always felt Rarity’s efforts to look absolutely perfect were a little redundant. I also remember the first time we went on a picnic. On the side of town opposite Applejack’s farm, there’s a stand of cherries that’s been there for as long as I can remember. According to Applejack, years before I moved to town somepony had tried to start a cherry orchard there, and even had all the cherry trees transplanted from somewhere in northern Equestria. But the farm apparently couldn’t make enough money to keep running, so it got abandoned a few years later. No one else tried to get the farm running again or grow something else there, but the land the orchard was on had great views, so soon everyone started using it as a park. It’s beautiful when the flowers are in bloom. Rarity had decided to make the most of it that year, and invited me to join her. It had just started getting warmer again, though the wind was still a bit chilly. “The Neighponese absolutely adore this time of year.” Rarity told me as we set our mat and baskets on the highest hill in the orchard. “I suppose you could consider it their festival to welcome spring. It’s certainly a good occasion to relax and clear the mind. Don’t you think so too, Fluttershy dear?” “Mhm.” I nodded in agreement. “I hear in some places they would bring these exquisitely decorated wooden lunch boxes with them for picnic. I’ve seen some pictures, too, and they look so well-made. But I heard these lunch boxes are meant to be single use only and are simply thrown away afterwards… quite a waste, don’t you think?” “If you say so…” “Oh, forgive me, I must be prattling on like a bored housewife! What do you think, darling?” “Hmm… well, I mean, if you think about it, it kind of makes sense.” “How so, dear?” Rarity asked. I pause for a moment to get my thoughts together. “Well… cherry blossoms are beautiful, but they don’t last forever. A little gust of wind and the petals all fall to the ground. I guess, what I’m trying to say is, beautiful things don’t always last forever. Or… that’s what I think, at least.” I trailed off, not yet sure how receptive Rarity will be of my ideas. Rarity seemed deep in thought. “Yes… I suppose beauty is often an ephemeral thing. And I suppose if the lunchboxes weren’t built to be used again, there would be no point to keeping them after they’ve served their purpose. I would of course want to keep them, but that moment among the cherry trees where I could enjoy it as it was meant to be enjoyed was a unique experience, never to be replicated. Next spring, there would be new cherry blossoms, new lunchboxes, and new memories. Am I interpreting your thoughts correctly, dear?” “Mhm.” I nodded. “I would still want to keep them, though, as a memento of the good times.” A gentle breeze rustled through the grove, sending a shower of petals down onto our mat. I noticed Rarity staring at me. “Um…” I could feel myself beginning to blush. “Oh! Excuse me, dear. A petal landed on your nose, and I was just admiring the view.” I shook my head to clear my thoughts, letting the petal fall to the ground. “In any case, we certainly won’t be throwing away our picnic baskets. There would be many more occasions for them to be useful.” Rarity concluded. “Speaking of which, I brought some vanilla flans with me today. Would you like to try some?” “Oh!... Yes, I would, but, um, I’ve got something I want you to try too…” We exchanged our baskets. The way Rarity’s eyes seem to sparkle as she opened mine made me smile. “Cream puffs? Oh darling, how did you know? These are my favorites!” She beams at me. “Oh, the way they simply melt in your mouth… and these are still cool!” I felt a warm feeling spreading inside me. Her giddiness was always very infectious. Rarity took a bite. For a moment, she looked overwhelmed. She extended her tongue to lick at the cream, but seemed to think better of it. She placed the remainder of the pastry in her mouth, chewing thoughtfully. She soon lifted the second one and bit into it as well, but this time, she actually did lick at the cream, followed by her lips. Just at that moment, I noticed myself staring, and so did she. “Oh my… I’m sorry for that uncouth display, but these are simply irresistible.” She said, giving me a smile. “Oh, that’s all right.” We ate in companionable silence, occasionally pausing to admire the flowers as the sunlight shifted in and out of the clouds and the breeze rustled through the trees. Rarity seemed lost in thought whenever I chanced a peek at her, staring at the flowers but also somewhere far beyond. I keened my ears when I heard birds chirping, and saw swallows darting through the branches. Eventually, I heard a trio of sparrows gathering in the branches above us, chirping with curiosity. A note of recognition spread through their voices, and they landed on the ground near me. I gathered the crumbs that had fallen in front of me. “Rarity, could you pass me that bag of bird feed I put in my basket, please?” “Yes, of course, but… ah, there it is.” She passed the pouch onto my wing. Opening it, I scattered the crumbs and some seeds in front of the birds, and they started pecking. One of the sparrows was daring enough to try jumping onto the bag itself, which I took up in my hooves. “Now now, this isn’t just for you.” I chided him. “I can give you more if you’re hungry, but there are other birds who need food too.” I took out more seeds from the pouch and laid it out in front of me. The sparrows jumped onto my hooves to reach at the pile, pecking eagerly. Rarity came from behind to join me at my side. “My my, Fluttershy, they’re practically eating out of your hooves! I would never be able to do such a thing.” “Oh, it just takes a bit of getting used to.” “And a lot of patience, I’m sure! Waiting on someone else to take action was never my strong suit.” The sparrows ate their fill, chirped their thanks, and skittered away to peck at the ground for pebbles. I turned back to Rarity. “I… I suppose I’ve always felt at ease in nature. And I’m okay with waiting things out quietly. At least… I think I am.” “So, I suppose being out in nature is being ‘in the zone’ for you, so to speak?” Rarity inquired. “Um, what do you mean?” “In the zone. As in, you’re in your element and you feel like you’re where you belong, doing what you love doing.” “In that case, um… I suppose you could put it that way.” I answered. “I just feel so much more at ease when I’m out here. It’s so nice to be alone… I mean, um, not that I don’t like spending time with you, um… sorry…” “Oh, absolutely no need to apologize, dear!” Rarity interjected. “I totally understand what you mean. When I’m working on my designs I find it better to work alone. I do love socializing but I feel that creative endeavors are usually best done alone, with the least potential for interruptions. For starters, you wouldn’t want anyone distracting you, and you definitely would not want someone scrutinizing your every move while you contemplate your ideas, don’t you think?” “Mhm.” I nodded in agreement, relieved that she had not taken offense. “Granted, I do make a habit of talking to myself when I’m working. I think I do that to jog my thoughts, and to proof the ideas against my own ears to see if they ring true or make no sense.” Rarity’s words hung in the air, before she added, “Though, perhaps, it actually is a strange thing to do…” “I don’t think it’s strange at all, actually. Um… everypony gathers their thoughts a little differently from each other…” “I suppose so, dear.” Rarity smiled. Just then, I noticed two magpies alighting on a tree nearby. I recognized one of the pair immediately; she’d come to my cottage recently and watched as I mended the wing of a bluejay. It didn’t take long for her to open up afterwards, when I went out to feed all the birds. She gave some encouraging caws to my patient before departing. I laid out another spread of seeds. “Don’t be afraid. You’re welcome to join me.” The one who’d visited me earlier recognized me immediately, cackling in excitement as she fluttered down in front of me. She hopped forward to the pile, and turning around, she called at her companion to join her, but the other bird did not move. “Yes, come on down.” I encouraged. “I won’t bite.” The one on the ground cawed in agreement, and flew up to my back as if to emphasize her point. The male replied with a few sharp, cautious calls. “You can trust me. There’s no need to be afraid.” I reassured him. I could see the male was hesitating. He looked up and down, cawing once at us while casting a sidelong glance. His partner called out in reply, before jumping back down to the pile of seeds to start eating. “Hmm. He seems a stubborn one.“ Rarity commented. “Oh, I’m sure he just needs a little… time and space, that’s all.” “I do suppose they’re all a bit like us. Some of us take to trying new things and meeting new ponies quickly, while others need to test the waters and approach at a slower pace.” The male continued observing us as his partner ate her fill. After she’d eaten more than half of the pile, he jumped down to the ground, then took a few hesitating hops towards us. I laid out the last of my seeds on the ground, and his partner beckoned him on with another caw. At her encouragement he hopped the last few feet, and began eating beside her. I smiled. When the seeds were gone, Mrs. Magpie fluttered up and perched on my shoulder, calling at Mr. Magpie to join her. He responded a little more quickly this time, and joined her on my opposite shoulder. “They make a good couple, don’t you think?” Rarity beamed as the pair touched beaks and cawed at each other with small chitchat. I nod in agreement. “Oh, I’m sure.” “Such a beautiful thing, isn’t it?” Rarity mused. “Love, I mean.” “Oh… mhm.” “Oh, if only love was easy to find! You search so hard for it, and may never find it, yet it finds you just when you aren’t looking.” I thought about it for a moment. “Well, um… if it’s not romance, you can always find it with family. But, um… I guess you do mean romantic love, so…” I answer her. “Well, yes, I do mean romantic love.” Rarity confirmed. “You make a good point, nonetheless; I’ve much to thank my parents for, including the loans I’ve had to take out to open my shop. Then there’s also my sister, though frankly she could be quite the hoofful… what about your own family, dear?” “Oh, they’re very nice ponies.” “I hope you don’t mind me asking, but what do they do?” “Well, my father’s a weather specialist in Cloudsdale, and my mother’s a high school teacher.” “Charming! My father is a sports newscaster, and my mother is a dessert chef. As a matter of fact, I learned the recipe for the flans from her. I must concede she makes them better than I can, of course.” “Oh.” I sigh. The cream puffs I got for her were from a confectioner’s in town—Sugarcube Corner, as a matter of fact, though I wasn’t very familiar with it yet then. To think she made those flans herself while I didn’t make my own gift for her, well… it made me feel like a bad friend. “Is something the matter, dear?” Rarity could be so perceptive. I was never really a good liar, either. “Um, well… I didn’t make those cream puffs myself. I’ve been so busy lately, I haven’t had time to make anything, so I bought them from a place in town…” “It’s perfectly all right, dear! It’s the thought that counts the most.” Rarity smiled reassuringly. “I don’t know very much about animal care, but I know enough to know it’s harder than it sounds.” “I’m sorry, Rarity.” “No need to apologize, dear. In all honesty, I’d have trouble taking care of just one house pet, never mind wild animals! I appreciate your thoughtfulness.” “You’ve never had a pet?” I ask her. “No. Well, I have sometimes wondered about, say, keeping a cat for company, but I’ve never really given myself any time to seriously consider it. And besides, I’m honestly a little overwhelmed at the prospect of looking for a pet since, well, I’ve never done it before.” An idea leapt to the front of my mind. “Well, um, if you like cats, I’ve been taking care of a litter of kittens. Maybe, um, if you’d like, you can adopt one…” Rarity seemed to ponder what I said for a long time. The magpies grew still, quietly observing my companion. “I shall definitely think about it.” She answered. “Though I suppose I shall need to ask you the favor of helping me choose.” “Of course. I’d be more than happy to help you.” The two magpies shifted on my shoulders, cawing as if in agreement. A strong breeze rustled the branches above us, showering us with another cascade of petals. Rarity looked at the three of us with keen eyes, before bursting out in a flurry of words as the petals settled. “Yes, that’s it! What a marvelous idea! I must make a note of this.” She opened the picnic basket by her side and rifled through it for a few moments, before realizing it was my basket. “Uh… Fluttershy dear, would you mind passing me my color pencils and sketch pad?” She asked sheepishly. “Oh!” I jumped to attention. “I’ll get them for you.” Opening her basket, I gently pushed the remaining pastries and Rarity’s kerchiefs aside. Tucked to one side, wrapped in a layer of wax paper, I find what looks to be her sketching kit. “Are these it?” “Yes! Excellent. Please forgive me in advance if I prove to be a poor conversation partner. I’ve a tendency to focus on my work to the exclusion of other matters once I really get going. In any case, you’re more than welcome to observe, and I’ll provide commentary and answer questions where I can.” “That’s okay. I like watching and observing.” I replied. Rarity scooted beside me. The magpies shifted away from her, but just a little. “Then you’ll have front row seats. Enjoy the show, dear.” She began sketching in flourishes reminding me of the wind in black, white, and light yellow flecked with pink. Every once in a while, she’d write notes for herself on the side. The more she worked, the closer I found myself leaning towards her and her work. A rising, fluttering sensation filled my chest. I may have thought of it then as a natural reaction to seeing Rarity make such a beautiful drawing, but looking back, I’m pretty sure it was because I was physically close to her.