//------------------------------// // S2E1: Arriving at Destination // Story: Blank // by Carrier of Heartbreak //------------------------------// BLANK: SEASON 2 CANTERLOT Episode 1: Arriving at Destination **** Ow. Ow. Ow. Damn, that was a long day. My feet hurt. It felt like I was standing on needles...and maybe even a Lego piece or two. I loved my job, of course, but it always left me feeling like I had been walking on hot coals for eight hours. No matter what kind of shoes I wore, it always stung after standing for so long... Well, at least it was over. Until tomorrow. "Dammit..." I complained to myself, trying to focus on anything other than my throbbing feet as I weaved around people walking alongside me on the sidewalk. It was like a game to me, finding the fastest and most efficient route through the waves of oncoming foot traffic. I wasn't doing as good as yesterday, but today's crowd had a high percentage of those people that stop walking right in front of you to talk on the phone. If I was more a dick, I would have shoved at least a dozen city-goers to the ground by now. But being the lovable little scamp that I was, I just gave them glares as I maneuvered around them. After the twelfth or so stopper, I even dared to flip them off as I walked past. Seriously, if you're going to stop walking on the sidewalk, at least make sure nobody's going to peg you up the ass the instant you lose momentum. In my pocket was a pack of bright pink shoelaces that Emily had wanted me to pick up for her. I made sure to get them just a bit longer than she needed, so I could watch her struggle with the leftover length every morning before school. My pranking knew no limits! Another wave of throbbing pain in my feet caught my attention and made me flinch irritably. Was this all worth it? Was this what my life was going to be? Getting up early in the morning, doing random shit until I was scheduled to work, and then going home? Getting paid barely over minimum wage? Was this all a waste of time? ... Nah, I still had time to think things out. How can anybody expect an 18-year-old kid to know what to do right after high school? Some kids had it figured out, sure, but a lot of others rushed in to something that turned out to be the wrong option for them. Those people would be stuck with what they chose, or they would at least suffer until they could switch over. I still had time. At least the weather was really nice. There was barely a cloud in the sky, the sun bearing down on the population like a warm blanket. It was pretty much the way I liked it; a little chilly, but with warm sun to make up for it. I wasn't too fond of the heat, but only when it was consistent. The outside air, at that moment, was just the way it should always be. Comfortable. With the exception of the obnoxious people stopping in front of me, I had had generally good interactions with people over the course of the day. Nobody gave me any problems, and if they didn't want my help with picking out their footwear, they just said so kindly, with no attitude. I appreciated that. I would rather someone not want help and tell me than not need help, but eat up my attention anyway. Too many times, I had helped customers for maybe an hour or more, only to have them just decide they weren't buying and leave. That shit was the stuff of gear grinding for me. I mean, if you just don't find anything you like, that's fine. But if you know that you're not going to buy anytime soon, then why bother? I could have been helping my coworkers, other customers, whatever! Urgh...just annoying. But...at least they're usually really nice to me. I wanted to keep thinking about what decisions- or lack thereof- had led me to where I was, but I felt a familiar tingling sensation that made me stop and look around. Oop, first, I moved away from the flow of people trying to walk so that I wouldn't get in their way. Couldn't be a hypocrite! Once I was out of the way, I turned towards where the sensation was coming from and stared. It was so...odd. I wasn't used to having a sense that literally pulled me in a certain direction. As hard as I looked, the source of my mental disturbance wasn't immediately apparent. There were too many people, too many possible causes for the tinge of paranoia. It was only after about a minute of vigilant searching that my eyes met those of another. The orbs I stared into were a beautiful shade of teal that I could somehow see, even though they were a good distance from me. The owner of those eyes... "Whoa..." I whispered, my body locking into place. She...was so cute! I didn't say it much, mostly because nobody really cared, but I had a bit of a...thing for smaller girls. Not small as in young, you sick bastard. Small as in short and adorable and a bundle of joy and beauty wrapped into a small little package. ...Ugh, there I go again. Seeing adorable girls my own age tended to make me gush about them inside my head. And this girl was the absolute adorablest. Seriously, she was so short and her dirty blonde hair was so long relative to her size...she was also quite slim. Not unhealthily so, but definitely small. She didn't look like she really worked to keep herself that way; she probably had that genetically-thin thing about her. It was very fitting. And cute. Her clothing was...strange. It was like she never looked at a fashion magazine in her life, which didn't bother me in the least. The random colors adorning her small frame actually made her look even cuter. She had what looked to be a striped black and blue poncho, covering a dark blue T-shirt that was many sizes too big on her. The sleeves of her poncho-sweater thing covered her hands so that I couldn't even see the tips of her fingers. For pants, she somehow got hold of some guy's bright red gym shorts. Again, these were much too large on her. She had two different shoes on. Not just the style was different, but I could also tell with my shoe-salesman-eyeballs that they sizes were off as well. All in all, she was just a tiny, adorable bundle of what. And she...was standing right in the middle of the ro-HOLY SHIT CAR-! RUN! The next few moments were a blur of movement, colors, honking, and shouting from the onlookers on the sidewalk. When I started processing my surroundings again, I found myself sprawled out on the ground, on the opposite side of the street. I could still hear tires squealing, probably the driver trying to get away before any attention could be given to his or her license plate. I hope that dick drove off a hill or something. Oh well, bigger problems. Like, for instance, the squirming, breathing bundle currently beating against my chest and trying her damn hardest to escape my vice-grip. I could feel how tightly I was holding her, so I loosened up a little. That slack was enough for the little girl in my arms to wiggle around enough to bop me in the face. "UNHAND US!" she squeaked angrily at me. Oh my god. Adorablest. Command. Ever. And her assault on my face didn't even hurt. Damn, what did she hit me with, her wrist? It was like she didn't know how to fight with her own hands. At her size, I suspected she had probably never been in a fight. Or maybe she was like one of those fighting gremlins that hopped around and hit you before you could react. Still cute. And what was that whole 'us' thing? 'Unhand us'? Did I happen to pick up someone else, too? Hmm, nope. Just little Pippi Longstocking here. Maybe English wasn't her first language. Her clothes made that idea a bit more plausible. And maybe Earth wasn't her first planet or something. Ha! Anyway, I decided that I had been in contact long enough with the munchkin, who was still trying to beat me into submission, so I unfolded my arms and let her go. A crowd of people had rushed over to us, after seeing my ass almost get flattened by a minivan. That would have been an ass way to go. Run down by Soccer Mom and her twelve rugrats on their way to game number five of whatever sport was their family fetish. It really made sense that the driver noped away from the scene of what was almost a double-homicide. Bitch. "Christ, you two alright?" I heard a man ask frantically from above me. Good question. Was I alright? Hmm, body's a bit sore, but that was probably from soaring like an eagle onto the cement. My legs were fine, arms were fine, ass... HOLY SHIT I COULDN'T FEEL MY ASS! Throb Oh...no, it was there. Just numb from the impact. Okay, everything checked out. "F-fine. I'm fine..." I stuttered, still trying to catch my breath. My heart was going a million miles a second, the adrenaline coursing through my veins like a drug. It was annoying me; I couldn't calm down! I wanted to be mad at it, but that wouldn't work. My emotions were just all over the place after the whole near-death thing. So how was the tyke doing? Uh...where was she? She wasn't on me anymore, so she... "STAY AWAY FROM US!" Oh, there she was, running down the street, screaming her pretty little head off. It was kind of hard to miss a bright ball of every color known to man. Kind of weird that I didn't see her sooner where I was looking for her. Huh. What was up with her, anyway? She had just been standing there...staring at me. Did she even know that the road wasn't meant for standing in? It was truly like she had dropped in from some other reality or something. As one of the bystanders helped me to my feet, only one thought went through my mind. I wonder if I'll ever see her again. **** OPENING THEME **** I awoke from my second nap on the train feeling...quite a bit better than I had felt in awhile. The reason? Just ask the blushing blue alicorn who awoke at the same time as I did. Her and her little satisfied smile were all the evidence anyone would have needed to figure out what had been going on. Well, that, and the knowledge of how Sarah could enter and manipulate dreams. And she was a pro when it came to dream-walking. Nobody knew this better than the pants that I had to change out of in favor of a dry pair. Sorry, Rarity! The whole time, I couldn't get my face to expel the moronic grin that had been plastered on it. My cheeks were redder than any tomato I had ever seen. Even my knees, though they hadn't taken part in our activities, were still quite shaky from the experience. I didn't even care that Sarah was watching me while I dressed, her eyes hungrily scanning over the same body that she had claimed just an hour or two prior in our sleep. She had seen me naked so many times, it wasn't like her seeing me naked when she was a pony would be any different. My ass was already engraved in her mind. Why not give it an update? Plus, it felt good to have my natural anatomy while Sarah was in control of my dream. The last time, she had made my dick into a not-dick and forced me to spend the entire night that way. This time, however, I was how I should be; a proud wielder of schlong-fu. I had forgotten how smooth Sarah's human skin was when I ran my hand down her- Shiver "Eep!" ... Who the fuck...? Oh, it was just Fluttershy, staring at me with wide eyes. Huh...her face was even redder than mine was. And was that...why was the tip of her tongue sticking out...? ... "OH SHIT!" I yelped in panic, my brain catching up with the fact that I was still pretty much nude. How long had she been sitting there?! Had she been...oh, god! Had she been there where Sarah and I were getting funky?! Our bodies could have been doing who knows what while we dream-fucked! Poor little Flutters! The thought of traumatizing such an innocent, sweet mare nearly made my mind crack. How could I have been so unaware of my surroundings? I remembered that she had fallen asleep with us in our train car, but not before doing what we had done in front of her! To my surprise though, she didn't scream. She didn't yelp again, or fold her ears back, or...close her eyes...oh, damn. Probably wasn't the best idea to stand there staring back at her with my junk flopping around in front of her face. I wasn't awake enough to remember where I had stored my other shorts, so I did the unthinkable and...pulled my sticky, used shorts back on. The damp, clingy feeling almost made me puke. If there's one thing that I hate about clothes, it's damp clothes. Seriously, sliding into a set of not-yet-dry clothing is almost as bad as jumping into a pool with my phone in my pocket. My chest was still exposed, but that didn't bother me as much. Fluttershy's face went from disappointed to curious in a split second as her gaze went up to my torso. Why was she so enthralled by it? She had seen it before, right? Yeah, when I burnt all my clothes off that time that I almost exploded in bed. The other kind of exploded. The 'boom' kind. Appeasing my own curiosity, I turned my head over to Sarah to see what she was doing in response to our accidental audience. She was blushing. I couldn't sense any protective anger coming from her, but she was definitely embarrassed by the whole thing. If she had made us do something like that in front of, say, Dash, then I would expect that to be some sort of teasing gesture. Like, 'Ha, look what I have and you don't!' Here, though, I felt that she just actually forgot Fluttershy was in the cabin with us. Huh. Well, moving on from that mental trauma... "Sorry about that, Flutters..." I said sheepishly, trying to hide the dark spot on the front of my shorts. If Rarity were to walk in and see what I had already done to something she made, I got the feeling she would have stuffed them down my throat. Stain and all. Shudder The yellow mare broke her gaze from me for the first time in awhile, her cheeks still trying their hardest to mimic Pinkie Pie's. Despite her obvious nervousness about the whole situation, she responded quickly. "O-oh, it's...n-no problem...I...you p-probably needed...th-that..." she stuttered, barely managing to spit her words out. She may have wanted to say more, but the air got lodged in her throat and refused to come out. Huh. As adorable as she was when she was flustered, she was pretty right. I did need that. Between finding out about my actual existence, the overwhelming fan attention, and being lusted after by more than one pony gal, I was really pent up. And to be honest, I was feeling...distant from Sarah. The things that had been going on lately...tensions were getting pretty high. But that nap...oh, good god. I didn't even know she could bend that way! I was curious, though. Towards the end of our playtime, I had lost the ability to see. Everything went dark, but I could still feel her all around me, touching and caressing in a way only she could. Her skin got a little more prickly, but I could tell it was still her. It was around that time that she had started doing aerobics or something; no normal person was supposed to contort in the way she had. Oh well, dream logic. I sat back down next to my beautiful girlfriend and gave her a tight hug. Sarah flinched at my sudden movement, but quickly accepted the hug with a large smile and a hug of her own in return. Ahh. It was good to have some clear, tension-free air for once. Nothing could bother me at that mom- "Arriving at Canterlot Station," came a voice from...somewhere. I didn't see any speakers on the ceiling of the cabin, so I assumed it was more pony magic bullshit. My body went completely rigid as the words bounced around inside my head, their meaning taking a few moments to reach me. Oh. Shit. We were in Canterlot! I was only half-dressed and still probably smelling of...eh, stuff! Not only that, though; I didn't have any time to emotionally prepare myself for what might happen once I walked out of the train. In here, I was safe. The train was pretty much empty, at the request of the two princesses currently riding along. They didn't want a crowd of ponies badgering me the whole time, so they basically bought every ticket for this trip. Out there, I was going to be fresh meat laid out before an army of starving dogs. Those ponies were going to go crazy! If they really cared about me as much as I had been made to believe, then I had to be super-careful. I wouldn't risk leaving the protection of my friends for a single moment. Who knows what a crowd of hungry fans would do to me? Rarity would need to make me more clothes...for my funeral. I didn't notice my own shivering until I felt two sets of hooves prod against me comfortingly. Looking down, I found myself staring into two pairs of teal eyes, their concern for my mental well-being melting away my fears. Of course. I had my friends, and I had Sarah. Two princesses, one of which I was in a relationship with, and some ponies that were national heroes. I really couldn't be in any better hands. Hooves. Whatever. Even if I was issued an army of guards to protect me, none of those ponies would have cared as much about me, and would not fight as hard to keep me safe. "I have friends. I have Sarah. They'll keep me safe," I muttered, trying to convince myself to calm down. Both of the ponies in the cabin with me nodded in agreement and embraced me. Just from the hug, I felt my nervousness washing away. Damn, I needed to tape one of these ponies to me or something. Just being in contact with them was enough to calm me down, most of the time. "I'm okay, guys. Just...need to get ready. Hhh...whew..." I sighed, trying to clear my thoughts. It would be easy enough to try ignoring everything and walk in a straight line...but I was here because of the ponies waiting outside. They were the ones that needed help, regardless of how nervous the prospect of being swarmed by ponies was. Fluttershy and Sarah watched me for a few seconds before nodding. They then proceeded to gather their own things. Sarah didn't need have any luggage, because she lived in Canterlot, but Fluttershy had a few bags. Again, I was struck by just how adorable the little yellow mare was when she carried things in her mouth. She looked like a clingy kitten. As those two gathered their things, I slipped my shirt back on and grabbed the small bag that contained what precious few articles of clothing I had to my name. I would definitely need to start collecting some more music again. How did this world play music, anyway? Guess I'd be finding out soon enough. We were ready a minute later, but we didn't leave yet. The plan that we had made between everyone going with me was that our cabin would wait until the others could come get us so that we could leave as a group. I hadn't seen Twilight, Pinkie or Rainbow Dash since we left Ponyville, so I was eager to see the rest of my buddies again. "Thank you for riding Ponyville Express, please watch your step as you exit the train," the magical overhead voice said again. Outside the window, I could already hear the hustle and bustle of the Canterlot day life, moving hastily around outside the train. Those voices belonged to ponies that would, only minutes from now, lose their collective shit once I stepped off the train. That idea started stressing me out again, so I went to another. "Hey, Sarah?" I piped up, my voice betraying a small fraction of the stress I was feeling. My girlfriend turned her head over to look at me, a curious look in her eye, like she was preparing herself to calm me down again. "Yes, Ry?" she answered sweetly. "You're a princess, right?" I asked. More curious staring from Bear. "Uhm, yes, I am. Why?" "You have chariots and whatnot, right? Personal transportation?" "Yes?" "Why the hell did we ride a train that took hours to get to a city we could see from Ponyville?" I finally asked, getting to my point. Sarah stared at me, her expression losing all possible emotion. She sat like that, staring at me, her gaze hardening as she pondered the course of action we had taken. Then her royal hoof met her royal face. "Shut up, Ryan. Just...shut up," she complained joylessly. My face lit up and I started laughing. The feeling of being able to tease my Bear once again without worrying about her attacking somepo- someone was pretty damn relaxing. Fluttershy just looked up at me with her huge, adorable eyes, her luggage still hanging from her mouth. Was she trying to give me another heart awwtack? I swear, weaponized cuteness was a real thing around here. Knock Kn-kn-Knock Knock... That could be them...but they didn't do the last part of- Giggle-SNORT! Okay, that the agreed-upon Pinkie Knock. Guess it was time...time to go out...there...with...all...those...fans...oh, god... Again, I shivered uncontrollably. Again, I was comforted by the two mares in the cabin with me. I love all of them. Seriously. "Ryan? Princess Luna? Fluttershy? Are you all ready to go?" I heard Twilight ask from just outside the sliding cabin door. I could also hear a repeating Thump of hooves on wood, so I assumed Pinkie Pie was bouncing happily right next to her. Everything was in order, except for... "Yeah, is Dash out there with you?" I asked. Twilight coughed nervously, but still answered truthfully. "Uh...well, she's out, but not with us. She, uh...she's outside the train. On her cloud car," she informed me. No. Fucking. Way. Was she just out there, with her car hanging from the train, or something? Oh, that I had to see. But in order to do that...I would need to be...outside... "Ugh, you know what, let's just do this. Thinking about it only makes me freak out more," I proclaimed, standing up and walking over to the door. It slid open a bit faster than I was expecting, revealing a surprised Sparkle and an overjoyed Pinkie. The pink mare's random happiness brought a smile to my face. If I could still make her so happy just by being there...then hay, maybe this was going to be easier than I thought. Maybe I just needed to do my thing, talk to and hang out with some ponies and make sure they know that I'm not dead. Once Canterlot got wind of the news, then I was sure that it would spread around. Maybe I wouldn't even need to travel around to every damn pony city to cheer up ponies. How fast did news travel in this world? I hadn't seen any computers, but they had figured out how to watch TV. Maybe they had a way to send news? Ugh, stalling again. Just needed to get out there and DO IT. "You sure you're ready for this, Ryan? I could just teleport us to my room in the castle and wait a bit longer, if you want," I heard Sarah offer from behind me. That...was a pretty tempting offer, with how stressed out I was. But I knew that, eventually, I would have to get it over with. Why not just do it fast, like a band-aid? The worst part was always in my head, I knew. I steeled myself for the oncoming shitstorm and stepped forward, past Twilight and towards the opening train door. "Yep. Let's do this shit," I stated with false confidence dripping from my voice. **** The first step out of the train was blinding. You never realize just how dark an enclosed area is until you spend hours away from the sun and then suddenly jump back into it. After a few seconds, my eyes adjusted and I got my first look out into the city that held so many of my mourning fans. Holy. Balls. Of course they would make the exit of the train visible from all sides...I had basically no time to gather myself. My hand clenched tightly around my bag of clothing, daring any of the surrounding ponies to try and take it from me. I got magical super hands, bitch! Behind me, I could hear my friends and girlfriend walking up to surround me. Already, I could feel their protective shield around me, blocking me from whatever forces dare try to snag me and abscond with me. The smile on my face was hard to remove, even with the nervous tremble I had been developing. Not a second later, I caught sight of a white blob moving around above me in my peripheral vision. Looking up, I came face to grinning face with Rainbow Dash, still scooting around in her wing-propelled cloud car. It still looked just as awesome as it did when she first made it, so I guessed that the train ride up was pretty easy for her. I half-expected the wind from outside a moving train to blow a cloud to bits. Points for pegasus craftsmanship! With all my friends gathered around and forming a barrier between me and the city, I felt...safe. Safe was a strange feeling in that situation, but an entirely welcome one. Okay, now, surroundings. The ponies around us were much different than the ones I had been in contact with so far...besides for maybe Rarity. Most of them were finely dressed, with suits and dresses that would have fit right in at a Banquet Hall. Something must have smelled really good in the air, since a bunch of them were holding their noses skyward. Wonder what it was. The ponies without suits, dresses, or mane-styles of any kind appeared to be just general day-laborers; bakers, salesponies, street cleaners, those sorts of things. Strangely enough, those ponies were the only ones who appeared to be happy. The fancy ponies were all frowning, with many having dried tears staining their upward-facing cheeks. Oh...and some were wearing hoodies...just...like...my old one... Yaaay A sudden bump caught my attention. Looking down, I saw a little dressed-up filly, her head hanging low. I could hear her sad sniffling, the sight of her sullen mood bringing me right back down into my own little depression. Once she had left, I watched her walk away, sticking papers to anything she blindly bumped into. She had put something on me without looking...what the hell? Picking up the paper she had plastered to my leg, my eyes scanned over the bold, black letters. Remembering Ryan: A Tribute to a Friend Come, every fan and friend, to send off Ryan Burbank in the the only way he would want: A Party Food, drinks and other refreshments will be provided Music will be taken from Ryan's personal playlist Today, all day at Canterlot Recreational Center With Special Guest Speaker That was...really touching. If they weren't basically throwing me a funeral, I would have probably shed a tear or two. From the way the invite was worded, they really saw me as a friend, not just a character. And the whole aspect of another party...it was perfect! The last party in Ponyville worked out pretty well...except for the whole 'confronted by pony princess girlfriend' thing. I could go for a party that somebody else planned. And what was that about my own personal playlist? Shit, did they find a way to bring my music to this world, somehow? I could really go for some of my tunes! I had all but given up on the prospect of hearing my favorite songs ever again, which, in hindsight, was kinda silly. If my show was as big as I thought it was, and they at least found a way to broadcast shows, then of course there was a chance of them finding a way to record and play music. Hell, I would buy the shit out of an alternate world's soundtrack. And what was that about a guest speaker? I mean, I was the guest speaker at the last party...and now the surprise speaker at this one. A sly grin grew across my face as my mind ran around the plot and trying to find any way it could fail. It couldn't find any, but I was also excited about it. I could have been biased. The only thing that would ruin it was if I...was seen by the general public before I was ready. Standing just outside the entrance to the train wasn't keeping me very well hidden. How the hell hadn't any of the Canterlot ponies seen me yet? "R-Ryan...? Are you still there...?" I heard Twilight ask from behind me. I turned to look at her, giving the confused little purple princess my own look of confusion. What did she mean? "Uhh...yeah?" I answered with a question. "Why?" Twilight and the rest of the girls pointed at me, or where they thought I was. Pinkie was staring the opposite direction, for some reason. Okay...? I looked down to where they were point-OKAY INVISIBLE. I INVISIBLE. ME. NOT SEEN. WHAT. WHEN DID THAT HAPPEN?! I stumbled back a few steps, unable to even see myself. My head started spinning, my sense of direction knocked out of balance since I couldn't see where I was in relation to anything. It was like spinning in circles, closing your eyes, and trying to walk in a straight line. How fucking long had I been standing there, invisible?! Man, pony magic is stupid! Pretty much every time I've used it so far, it was by accident when I was going through some sort of emotional moment. I really needed to learn how to control the very substance my body was made up of. I didn't want to accidentally turn myself into a pony when I was feeling out of place or something dumb like that. But...wait...I was invisible. None of the Canterlot ponies had seen me yet. I came into contact with that little filly, but she just stumbled into me and hit me with an invitation without even looking to see what she bumped into. At least she didn't hoof me in the nads. On the other hand, she had accidentally given me the perfect chance to reach a wide audience, containing just the ones who were affected by my death, in a place that I could hopefully be watched closely by my friends. So all I needed was to find the...Canterlot Recreational Center...and work my way up to the front. Maybe play a joke or two to lighten the mood. Would my fans be expected anything less? Well, they surely wouldn't be expected the object of their depression to pop up and say hello! "It's perfect..." I mumbled to myself. My friends all turned to where I had stumbled, their eyes trying to focus on where they assumed I was. The only thing about me that was visible was the paper, so they just watched that. "What was that?" I heard Dash ask me, using her cloud car to hover above me, acting like one of those green gems from the Sims games. Again with the unintentional cuteness! "This," I responded, holding the paper up to her. "They're doing a funeral thingy for me. I have to go there! Become visible at the perfect moment and make everyone happy!" I was cheering at this point. A few ponies around us were looking around to my pack, my voice catching their attention. Their eyes went wide at first, but when they saw nothing, they all just sighed and continued walking. Well, not before giving Sarah a respectful bow. The depression in the air was really starting to get to me...I needed to hurry my ass up. These ponies deserved to be happy. Above me, Dash was looking over the paper, a devious grin spreading across her face. Once she was done, she dropped it over the side of her cloud for the others to look at. Sarah caught the paper in her aura and brought it down to read. I just smiled excitedly, watching her and trying to gauge her reaction. To my dismay, her face grew into picture of apprehension. "It's...I'm not sure about this, Ryan. A room full of fans...it'll be like OtherCon in there..." she said, her eyes darting around at the many Canterlot ponies wearing hoodies like mine. The others nodded in agreement, except for Dash. She just pouted and spun her cloud in circles. Whoa, really? OtherCon? I have a whole convention based around me? Holy shit. I mean, yeah, Prime Warner did mention something about going to conventions, but I assumed at the time that they were just like Comic-Con back home; a gathering of a bunch of subjects, not just my show. But it turned out that the convention he was talking about was closer to MineCon. "You've been to conventions?" I asked them all, raising my eyebrow. They all nodded. Oh, of course. They were all pretty big fans, even before Twilight brain-birthed me. I was more curious than ever. Just what kind of things went on at OtherCon? They probably played music that I liked, maybe even went around wearing...heh, people shoes. Now that I would pay to see. Ponies flopping around in giant human footwear. Ha! "We have, usually together," Fluttershy piped up, expertly talking through the strap of her bag. I had almost forgotten she was there. She was so quiet all the time! And...crap, her cheeks were still red. Hope that goes away soon. I didn't want the others asking her what she had seen to make her so flustered. That was all I needed, Dash and Twilight getting jealous over my relationship with their Moon Goddess. "Hm. How did they go?" I asked, genuinely interested. Immediately, I was assaulted by four different voices trying to relay information to me at the same time, each pony trying to drown out the other. The only thing I could do was stare at them. Dash, Sarah, Twilight and Pinkie were trying to tell me about their experiences, while Fluttershy just looked up at me, still holding her bag. I crouched down to her, waiting for her to get over the initial surprise of having me so close. Her cheeks grew even more red. I just smiled softly and lowered my ear to her muzzle, inviting her to tell me. "Uhm...it was, uh...last year. I went with Twilight and the girls, and I brought my...plushie...to get signed. I didn't know that Lyra didn't go public about being the storyteller. It was...really fun," she told me. Next to us, I could still hear the other four shouting over each other. I couldn't make out anything of what they were trying to say. I much preferred the soft, delicate voice of Fluttershy. "You got a plushie? Of what?" I asked, looking her in the eyes. She adverted her gaze away from where she assumed my eyes were, setting her bag on the ground. After some fiddling around with a strap and a zipper, using her mouth, she pulled out... ...a plushie. Of me. She had a Ryan Burbank plushie. It was complete with the same hoodie design that all the fans in Canterlot seemed to be wearing, and the brown yarn hair matched the image fairly well. It even had a large grin on it's plush little face, matching the attitude I usually had. And she was just holding it in her mouth, looking up at me like she was afraid of what I was going to say about it. What was I going to say? What could I say? Being Fluttershy, that was honestly the cutest thing I'd seen...well, since the last cute thing she did. "Got a pen?" I asked, giving her a soft smile, though I realized that she couldn't see it. Hopefully, the kindness in my voice would reach her. Fluttershy tilted her head, causing her pink mane to slide down a bit more over her face. Despite her confusion, she nodded and pulled a nice, shiny OtherWorld pen from her bag. She held it out for me in her mouth, since she couldn't see where my hand was. I quickly and gently took the pen from her grasp, causing her to squeak. The plushie of me in my hand was clean, but I could tell it was older than the ones I had signed before. Fluttershy must have been a fan for longer than most. I found a nice, out of the way spot on the back of Doll Ryan and neatly wrote out my signature for her. Fluttershy's eyes widened and a look of pure, wondrous joy spread across her features. Apparently, I was completing one of her dreams. Maybe even more, if it was originally just to get it signed by the creator of my show. Heh, if only she had known that the storyteller was living in her town the whole damn time. "There ya go," I said, offering the pen and plushie back to her. She sat back on her rump and took the objects in her hooves, staring at them in disbelief. I still smiled, even though she couldn't see it. The others had gone quiet, choosing instead to watch my interaction with the sweet yellow mare. It must have been one of the most heartwarming things they'd ever seen, if the sniffling I heard was evidence of anything. I looked up to them, watching as Pinkie Pie hugged Dash tightly...on the cloud. How in the hell was Pinkie...? No. Not going to ask any Pinkie-related questions. Moving on. Twilight was smiling at me, her hoof wiping away the wetness that gathered at her eyes. Hell, even Sarah was smiling at me. At least she wasn't crying. She was tougher than that, for better or for worse. The sight and sound of Fluttershy hugging the shit out of her Doll Ryan was enough motivation for me to get my shit moving. I wanted to spread the same kind of cheer that I just gave her, and fast. "C'mon," I told them, their gazes moving up to where my voice was now coming from. "Let's go to this 'Canterlot Recreational Center.' Um...who knows where that is?" Twilight and Sarah raised their hooves at the same time, thus continuing my quest for smiles. **** Ponies. Ponies. Ponies goddamn everywhere. Too many ponies! Maneuvering my invisible self was becoming harder and harder the farther we went into the city. Canterlot-ians were filling the streets, the majority of them walking in the same direction. We were headed the same way, so at least I didn't have to dodge ponies walking in the opposite direction. Still, it became a game of hurdles, with the ponies being the many hundreds of 3-4 foot obstacles. I only bumped into a pony once or twice on the way to the Recreational Center, but the ponies in question simply shrugged and continued mourning. So...since Sarah and Twilight were leading us in the direction of most of the other ponies, did that mean...that most of the city was going to be at the party? Holy fuck. What had I done in my short life to warrant so many damn ponies loving me so much? I still didn't get that whole thing. I was just a shoe salesman who lived in a cabin. What was so fascinating? Ugh, ponies and their clingy love of random shit. Not that I was complaining. I loved their how clingy they are. It meant more hugs for me! Another problem that came up during my hurdles was that a lot of the ponies kept stopping in front of me so that they could bow to Sarah. I ended up plowing the first pony who did that over, but I learned from my error and dodged the subsequent bowers. Geez, even in Pony World, I couldn't get away from people stopping in the middle of the walkway to do something. Just another way both worlds were alike, I guess. The buildings and shops that we passed by were some of the nicest I'd ever seen. Granted, I had only been in this world for a few days, but still. I loved the colors and design of pretty much every shop that we walked by. Hell, I even saw a pony shoe store! I wondered if they were accepting applications. Money was probably going to be no issue here, seeing as how I was a celebrity and all, but it would still feel nice to do something that was in any way familiar to my last life. Maybe getting into the shoe business would help me settle in, even if the shoes were horseshoes. I certainly wasn't going to feel right about being a TV star at first! Crowds still made me nervous, especially if all the attention was directed at me. That thought didn't make me feel better. And, oh look, there's a massive gathering of ponies at the entrance of a humongous, beautiful beige building. Signs were hanging everywhere around the doors, displaying what looked to be a silhouette of me in front of a calming yellow flame. In the pictures, I had my hands in my pockets, and even though my face was just as black as the rest of my form, they still found it necessary to make a cartoonish smiley face over it. It fit my intentions, but it still looked a bit out of place. Ponies were waiting in a giant line, waiting to get into the room beyond the doors. I didn't see any money being exchanged, which made me much happier about the whole thing; the ponies in charge weren't simply milking my death for money. Instead, each pony received...a hug before being let inside. The door guards were seriously exchanging teary embraces with every pony before being allowed in. The hugs, of course, were returned with passion. I could even hear a few choked sobs from way back where we were waiting. "Shit..." I whined, my eyes locked on all the sniffling ponies. It didn't matter which pony was which; there were just as many undressed ponies as there were fancy ponies crying in line. Some of the line-waiters even turned to the ponies behind them for extra tearful hugs. The pony in front of me, a yellow earth pony mare with a puffy blue mane and bright blue eyes, whipped around, her eyes scavenging over the area where I was. Her butt mark was that of a spool of thread. She couldn't see me, but I guess my voice had been picked up by her overly-sensitive pony ears. Oops. "I...I heard Ryan..." she mumbled to herself. My friends hadn't heard her; they were talking amongst each other and were trying their hardest not to be noticed. Sarah, being the much-larger alicorn and princess that she was, wasn't helping our group stay hidden. The ponies that tried to hold their bows while walking forward in line did get a laugh out of me, though. "Hiya," I dared to respond to her. Immediately, her ears shot up, acting as miniature radar dishes as they tried to pick up any semblance of my voice again. Her eyes were wide and begging...she really wanted me to talk to her. "I...now I'm...I'm hearing him..." she sighed to herself, her ears folding back sadly. Oh, no! Not the saddies! I was trying to stay hidden, but I was here to cheer them up anyway. Why not this sad cutie in line? "I'm hearing you, too," I teased, reaching forward and poking the tip of her ear with my left index finger. The ear flopped around wildly, trying to find my finger again. The mare's eyes went somehow even wider, probably in shock. Heh, I couldn't help teasing this girl. Figured I could do with some practice in cheering ponies up. "R-Ryan...?" she asked weakly, her legs trembling. Around her, the ponies standing in line were starting to turn to look at her. Oops, didn't want to ruin the surprise and reveal myself to all the ponies just yet. As much as I wanted to assure the mare that she wasn't crazy, I had to stop talking until it was time. It made me feel so bad, though...she was just standing there, looking up towards where she was hearing my voice, her- Oh, fuck me sideways. She lifted her one hoof like a dog wanting to shake paws! That shit was so unfair! ... Ugh, fiiiine. Mwah A kiss on the head would have to do. The contact of my lips on the fur on her forehead left the mare shivering and speechless. Almost instantly, I could feel a piercing glare burning into the back of my head, even though I wasn't visible. Oh, shit. Sarah. Did she know? Oh sheeeeeet, yep. A large blue wing wrapped around me and pulled me towards her. Any observing pony that wasn't bowing and staring at the floor would have just seen their Princess stretching. To me, I was trapped. She definitely wasn't going to let me wander around alone, now. Ugh, Bear and her jealousy...she was getting a bit better with it, though. I didn't blame her for the head kiss thing; that one was on me. I couldn't keep doing that shit, but...that mare just looked so sad! Forcing myself to ignore the poor pony holding her head longingly in front of us, Sarah kept me safe as the line shortened. I was surprised that she hasn't been allowed to jump the line because she was a damn princess, but meh. It gave me more time to prepare myself. Okay, that line didn't last nearly enough time for me to get ready. Before I knew it, we were at the front door and the doorponies were bowing in stunned silence as their princess seemingly showed up to pay respects to me. The suits that the bowing ponies were stained all over with drying tears, a testament to the vast amount of tear-filled hugs they had been getting throughout the day. Poor guys... "P-Princess Luna!" one of them stuttered, still facing the ground and sniffling. "We...we're honored that you want to say your last farewells to Mr. Burbank..." Sarah flinched, the memory of my death probably still fresh in her mind. At least she knew what had happened. All the other ponies that weren't in my ring of friends were still just as sad as they had been since they saw me pass. "Yes...his death was...most untimely. We are here to help our ponies through this time of great depression," she explained professionally, her misty eyes catching only my attention. Geez, did humans freak out this badly when a character from a show they liked died? Probably. Sarah surprisingly gave the two ponies the hugs they were too afraid to ask for. After her, the other girls did the same, except for Fluttershy. She merely let the guard see her Ryan doll. I have to say, it was pretty funny, seeing the pony's eyes bug out like that. Probably shouldn't have let her show off my signature. Normally, any not-fan would probably just blow it off as a fake. These ponies, however, probably knew what my signature looked like. If they knew my tongue fetish, I bet my ass that they knew what my signature looked like. Damn fanatics. Still adorable, though. Once my group got all the hugs out of the way, and they found a guard to replace the one that fainted from seeing the Ryan doll, we went inside. I had to once again duck down as I walked through the door, while at the same time swerving around ponies. My curiousity was at an all-time high as I walked alongside my friends to see- ... What in the ever-living fuck...? I...I don't know how...I...what...? Ponies. Ponies on the dance floor. Ponies on the dance floor, twerking. Ponies on the dance floor, twerking as they sobbed in harmonious misery. Oh, goddamn it. Why was Pinkie already out there?! She was just beside me a moment ago, then the next second, she was twerking her little pink ass off and baww'ing just as loud as the rest of them. Why the hell was she sad?! She knew I was fine! Stop...s-stop...just...no more Pinkie Pie questions... I couldn't even appreciate the familiar techno beats coursing through the room and into my translucent body. My eyes, along with the eyes of all my friends, were locked on the scene playing out in front of us. How was I supposed to react to that? The ponies were dancing to one of my favorite songs in my honor. Even the fucking DJ was twerk-baww'ing! What, did they not have a way to actually dance like a human? Maybe ass-shaking was their one move. The only thing I knew what that it was confusing, adorable, and a bit creepy. I was going to be revealing myself to these guys. I just hoped that they wouldn't rush forward when I did, shaking their asses at me in joy. Death by pony ass. What a way to go. I somehow managed to work past the disturbing sight of funeral twerking, and following my group over to an empty table that had been brought over immediately following word of Sarah's presence. So she didn't get line privileges, but did get a special table for her and her friends. Seems pretty fair to me. Because I was so cunning and clever, I managed to snag a cup of some kind of juice as I walked by it on the way to the table. None of the ponies really suspected anything, seeing as cups floated around all the time in this world. Unicorns had a levitation fetish. I took a sip and immediately grinned. Tasted like pure cherry juice. It was honestly one of the best drinks I think I'd ever tasted. Sweet and tangy, but not too strong. It was like Capri Sun, but not revolting. I took a seat next to Dash, who was...still on her cloud. Why had they let her in with that thing? I would have thought they would at least told her to tie it to the roof for the day, or something. That thing took up a lot of space, especially for the pegasi who could touch it. Oh, well. It seemed to make her happy. Or perhaps riding around in something I saw her build was like a giant 'Fuck You' to Sarah? Great, if that was the case, then I still had some drama to endure, on top of my current predicament. So we sat at that table, trying to think to ourselves. The music was much to loud to have a conversation, not to mention if someone heard us, the surprise would be ruined. I tried my hardest not to look at the mass amount of butt-waving sad ponies dancing in the middle of the room, but come on! It was just too surreal to ignore. Something that I noticed right away was the occasional pony that would stop and glare at Sarah like she had yanked out their first-born child before it could mature. What the hell was that about? Wasn't she supposed to be their beloved Princess of the Night or something? It was almost like that were mad at her about something terrible that she had done. Oh god, they didn't know she was Sarah, right?! The ponies in Ponyville probably knew, since they saw the whole episode at the last party. I could only hope that the rumors hadn't spread around that fast. Sarah didn't seem to pay attention to it, so I didn't tell her. Didn't want her worrying about something that might not even matter. Hell, it could have just been my imagi- No, another pony just did it. Some random fancy-lookin' dude that looked too old to be watching television. What the hell was up with some of the ponies at this party? A voice that sounded louder than it should have been, probably because of magic, broke me from my thoughts. "Thank you, everypony. Thank you all for coming and celebrating the life of Ryan Burbank with us," I heard a female voice say. It was unfamiliar, but that didn't surprise me. I was in a new city with tons and tons of new ponies, after all. Where was she going with her introduction? "Shh!" I heard Pinkie whisper urgently at the few ponies who hadn't gotten the hint to shut up yet. Thanks, Pinks. I sat back on my chair, preparing myself for some weirdness. Tears were going to be shed. "As you all know, in the last episode of OtherWorld, he...he d-...*sniff*...sorry, sorry, it's still hitting me pretty hard," the voice said, a choked sob breaking through. Good god, these ponies were obsessed. Ponies around the room nodded along with the speaker, sharing a few tears of their own. "Eh-hem...he passed on. This party that we're at today was hosted in order to pay tribute to a character that inspired us all to laugh in the face of misery. He loved everyone around him as he would love his own family. He told us so many things about the proper way to live our lives...and he wasn't even of legal drinking age, in his world!" A bunch of the ponies in the room laughed at that, but quickly fell quiet again. Damn, I was finally about to learn why these ponies seemed to love me so fucking much. What was so special about me? So far, I got that they loved a character who smiled in the face of pain. That was just a coping mechanism, not a life choice. The rest of what she said was too vague to determine what she meant. God, I hope I wouldn't have to watch the show just to figure out everything. Seeing all the things that ponies had watched me do over the years would be...disturbing. What else, mysterious pony voice? Tell me more! "I could go on for days about all the reasons we loved him, but I won't," the voice evaded. Shit. "Instead, I'm going to let our guest speaker say what we all have been needing to hear," she continued. I sat up in my seat a bit higher. Was this it? I was going to reveal myself during the guest speaker's speech, so I was going to have to face the music. Soon...way too soon. And just who was this guest speaker? The crowd went silent, the mystery of the speaker drawing everyone's full attention. Who could it be? Lyra? No, she was on her way to Manehattan with Bon Bon and Prime. Celestia? That would have been a good idea, but I don't think a room full of sad fans would take their Sun Goddess telling them to get the fuck over it very well. Who, then? I didn't know all that many characters from the show. A pink hoof with a golden slipper-thing made itself visible. A few members of the audience were already cheering. A second hoof joined the first one, with the same regal-looking shoe. Man, this pony had long legs. She might have been closer to Sarah's size, but still a bit smaller. Twilight was losing her shit for some reason, and Sarah was groaning irritably. What? Who was it? Finally, the pony revealed herself from behind the curtain she had been standing behind. A long, bouncing mane filled with pinks, purples, and what appeared to be cream covered the one side of her pink face. A tiny little golden crown with a purple ball on top of it sat on her head. It looked like something straight out of a Disney movie. HOLY SHIT, IT'S-! ... ...Yeah, I got nothing. You see, that would have been a good time for the speaker to, y'know, introduce the guest. Maybe not, though, since the crowd started losing its collective shit just like Twilight had done. Okay, so whoever that mare was, she was well-known and probably royalty of some kind. She had a horn...and wings...oh, it was another Princess. How many fucking princesses did they have around here? What, was there some sort of 5-minute essay you had to take to apply for a set of wings or a horn to go along with whatever you had already? Or maybe they just kept getting born and immediately labeled Princess because of their physical attributes. That would be stupid, they would eventually run out of things to be the Princess of. Hey, you, you're the Princess of Toothpaste, now! No buts, those are reserved for Flatulanda, Princess of Butts! Heh. I think I found a friend for Princess Dickmane. "May I introduce..." Fucking finally. "The President of the OtherWorld Fandom Alliance..." Fancy way of saying 'Fan club', but whatever. "...as well as the Ryan Burbank Fan Club..." What? "...and the Equestrian Society of Asparagus Lovers..." WHAT?! "The Princess of Love herself..." Princess of Love? What an odd thing to be the Princess of. "Princess Mi Amore Cadenza of the Crystal Empire!" As the pink alicorn prepared to speak, I looked over to see that Twilight was barely containing herself. She looked like she was about ready to explode. I knew the feeling well. I wanted to tell her to calm the shit down, but the room was quiet. Saying something would instantly draw a fuckton of hungry fans to my location. A soft voice echoed out into the room, full of despair...but it was also very comforting, somehow. And I wasn't even sad! "Hello, fellow OtherWorlders...thank you for coming today. I know some of you managed to travel quite a distance in only a few days, and I know what that feels like. I had to take a train all the way from the Crystal Empire!" she said, smiling a bit. A few supportive cheers rang out from the ponies who were more familiar with her. What the hell was a Crystal Empire? Sounded expensive. "Anyway, I'm so happy so see so many of you out here, celebrating the life and times of one of the greatest characters in fiction, ever. As much as I still want to believe he's alive...I know it's foolish to delude myself. But we all know Ryan, he wouldn't want us to stay sad over him. I say know instead of knew, because I still feel him. Somehow, someway, I know he's still here, with us. Nothing can truly take him away," she said confidentially to the crowd of now-sniffling ponies. Everyone was nodding along, even my friends. I knew they were just nodding because they were having just as much fun with the irony in the pony's statement. Yeah, I was still there with them, all right. Literally in the room. Uh-oh, Twilight wasn't looking so good. Dash was trying to help her keep her mouth shut, but it was a futile effort. "And so, doing as Ryan would have wanted, I chose to host not a funeral, but a party. We'll be playing his favorite music all night until the sun rises! Some of his favorite snacks and drinks will be being served all around, and we'll be playing games that he loved, like Twister and Apples to Apples. Merchandise coupons will be handed out, for great discounts from the famed Canterlot OtherWorld Store. They'll be releasing memorial cloth-" "CADANCE!" Twilight shouted at the absolute top of her lungs. Her Royal Voice-thingy was getting better. The shockwave from her voice politely suggested that every pony in the room take a breather and lay down. Nah, just kidding. She dropped those fuckers like the bass. I couldn't help it. I laughed my ass off. I laughed so hard, I fell back on my chair and broke it. It was a good thing Twilight had just made a royal ass of herself, or more ponies would have noticed my laughter and commotion. Perhaps those ponies getting their eardrums blasted out by an excited purple princess tended to cover up my mistakes. Princess Caddyshack blinked at the sudden vocal assault and squinted her eyes, seeing Twilight after only a few moments. Her face grew into a large smile immediately and she took off, her wings carrying her at the speed of love across the room. Before I knew what was happening, she was standing over me, her hooves surrounding me on all sides. It was entirely a miracle that she didn't step on me with her sharp golden shoes. Sarah was biting her lip, her eyes locked on me, even though I was still invisible. I did all I could to turn my head and stare away so that Sarah wouldn't whine about me looking at the pink pony ass hovering above me. It wasn't even that fat. "Twilight!" Candy shouted happily, spreading her front legs and waiting for a hug. She started to lean back. Wait. Was she going to-? NO! FUCK FUCK FUCK DON'T SIT, YOU PINK BITCH! "GET OFF!" I shouted, standing up and knocking the Princess of Facesitting off of me. The alicorn yipped and tumbled forward, landing right before Twilight's hooves. I guess Twilight had been ready to accept the hug right before Cavity had activated my trap card. At least Sarah looked pleased. The thought of her wanting me to save my sat-on-by-pony-ass card for her disturbed me a bit. Of all the ponies that could have almost sat on me, of course it was the large one with no clothes. Why couldn't she have been wearing pants? I managed to avoid getting smothered, but that didn't mean that I avoided...seeing it. Yeeaaah, still not attracted to ponies. "What in Tartarus was that?!" Caddy yelled out, stumbling back to her hooves. My friends at the table were all staring at her with nervous expressions, not sure whether they should tell her or not. I hadn't exactly told them my plan. Hell, I didn't even know my own plan. It was pretty much just wait for a good time to reveal myself, then go with whatever happened. Was it a good time yet? "Sorry," I said quickly, waiting to gauge her reaction. Just like the cream-colored mare in line, her ears immediately trained onto my location. It almost felt like a sniper's red dot had just trained itself to my chest. This mare was a bit scary. "IT WAS I, PRINCESS LUNA," I heard Sarah shout out over me, drawing Candy's attention away from my location. "I, um...knocked you over on purpose. Just a joke." What was Sarah doing? The pink alicorn looked over to the larger blue one, at first growing a smile of familiarity. As quick as the smile had appeared, it had vanished, replaced with a hostile scowl. The expression of loathing surprised everybody, especially Sarah and Twilight. "What...what are you doing here? Haven't you already done enough?" Dance spat bitterly. Okay, I was confused. She was giving Sarah almost the exact same expression that other ponies had been giving her behind her back. What the hell was up with them? Were the ponies in my fan club just occasionally super-douches? Sarah obviously shared my lack of comprehension. "Excuse me? What are you talking about?" Pinkass just puffed her cheeks out and rolled her eyes. "You know exactly what you did. What, do you hate the show or something? Or are you just happy that Ryan died?" she growled. Her growl wasn't very intimidating, but the blue glow surrounding her horn was. Holy fuck, she was threatening Sarah. If she continued, I would have to step in and show her a thing or two. Sarah nearly choked on the air in her lungs at the accusation. "EXCUSE US?! WHAT ART THOU IMPLYING?!" Sarah shouted, her voice reverting back to a tone that I hadn't heard her use since...a couple years ago. Wow, she was fucking furious. Caddy was shocked into silence by the sudden outburst, clearly not expecting the blue alicorn to react so violently. I still had no idea where the accusations were coming from. Maybe it was my job at that point to sort things out and cool them down so that they could talk. "You...you..." Cadance tried to say. "The stars..." A look of realization flashed across Sarah's face. A bunch of ponies in the room, since all attention was now direction at the confrontation, nodded along with the pink alicorn's point. Then it hit me as well. 'Ryan is an asshole' Oh. That was why. So, wait, could those ponies read English? Because I was sure that Sarah had written that in English. Twilight did say something about there being dictionaries and fan guides to learning my written language...if people back in my world could learn languages from fictional races from Star Trek, then it only made sense that some of my most obsessed fans would put in the effort to learn. "That...that was not...Ryan, could you please?" Sarah asked weakly, very thoroughly embarrassed by the whole situation. Pretty much everything in the past five minutes had been just one giant misunderstanding. My friends all looked away, the tension in the air causing a great deal of stress to them all. Poor Fluttershy was hiding behind her autographed plushie, my stitched smile keeping her safe. Cadance blinked and tilted her head, obviously confused. Welp, I guess it was time. Here goes nothing. I focused all my energy into the thought of being visible once more. It took a few seconds, since I never had to imagine myself not being invisible before, but I still regained my ability to reflect light. Cadance was looking in the opposite direction, so she couldn't see me at first. Behind me, I could hear a steady 'Thump, Thump...Thump' of ponies fainting one at a time. Ahh, memories. The ponies who weren't fainting were instead gasping. My friends all tensed up, trying to ready themselves for whatever was going to happen in the following moments. Dash was lowered into a fighting stance, ready to take off from her cloud car at a moment's notice. Anything could happen. I could get attacked; drowned in a sea of ponies. Maybe they wouldn't believe it was actually me, but instead some kind of impostor, bent on taking over the world. Or maybe they- "Ryan...? Why did you say..." Cadance asked, almost in a whisper. Very slowly, she turned her pink head around, her long mane swishing from the airflow moving past it. Our eyes met. Her face froze. I half-expected her to faint, but she must have been made of sturdier stuff than most ponies. Instead, her eyes just widened and a golden-plated hoof lifted to cover her mouth. Twilight was slowly moving closer to her, though I wasn't sure what she was intending to do. Twilight obviously knew Cadance pretty well. I doubted they would get into a fight over anything, even me. Finally, she spoke. "What...what is...huh...?" she stuttered. I couldn't blame her. Well, time to lay on the ol' Ryan Burbank charm. Things were way too tense in there for my liking. Perhaps a joke? "Hiiii...uh, got a pen? I can sign something, if you-" "EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE~!" she squeaked into my face before lunging at me. Before I knew what was going on, I was immobilized by four strong pink legs, all circling around me and binding my limbs together. Holy fuck, she was strong! How was she so strong with legs as thin as those? "URGH. TIGHT. SQUEEZE. CAN'T. BREATHE," I pleaded with the overjoyed pink princess. She didn't seem to understand, but the sound of my voice ringing through her ears just made her squeeze me tighter. Sarah was getting ready to pounce, as was Dash. Pinkie just had a daft grin on her face, seemingly completely unaware of what was happening to my poor body. "How did you manage to make one?!" Cadance asked excitedly, turning her attention back to Twilight. Uh, what? Make one? "Uh, what? Make one? Make one what?" Twilight inquired, just as confused as I was. Cadance just giggled cutely, her pink mane bouncing around in my face and tickling her nose. Uh-oh. Don't sneeze, don't sneeze, don't sneeze... "You made a Ryan copy! Oh, they've been talking about making them for years! How did you do it?" Cadance asked as she snuggled me, her pink fur rubbing up against my face. Twilight just fidgeted, unsure of how to explain to her friend that I wasn't just some clone. DON'T SNEEZE. "I, uh...well, you see, Cadance...he...isn't a copy..." Twilight told her nervously, a sheepish grin on her face. The ponies in the crowd around us gasped again. At least, the ones who were still conscious did. A lot more ponies had fainted at the new information. Cadance just stared at Twilight in blatantly-apparent disbelief. "What...what do you mean...?" she asked nervously. "I...I may have accidentally pulled the memories out of the storyteller through the projection gem and, uh...shoved them into a construct of his body..." Twilight explained, her left front hoof scraping along the ground. The giant pink facehugger swallowed, her body starting to tremble. The trembling just made her mane tickle my nose faster. SHIT. I have to...Ahh...Ahh shit, nah...Ahhhhhh... "You mean this...he is...the real..." Cadance stuttered, her eyes widening at the implications of what Twilight was telling her. My friends just stared, helpless, unable to do much of anything to help the situation. Sarah was enjoying Cadance's discomfort, however. Twilight just nodded. Cadance whipped her head around to face me, some strands of her mane shooting up my nose. OH SHIT- "YOU MEAN HE'S RE-" "AAAA-FUCKIN'-CHOOOOOOOOOO!" I exploded through my nose for the second time. Instead of launching myself against a crystal wall, however, this time I sent the pink alicorn flying in a manner very similar to Time Warner. My body also was sent flying, but in the opposite direction. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaahhhhhhh..." Cadance could be heard screaming. ... Crash She landed on the far side of the room, crushing a few tables full of candy. She was unhurt, though. I, on the other hand, wasn't so lucky. I had landed, uninjured... ...right in the middle of the room. I was surrounding on all sides by ponies of all shapes and colors. I was going to drown in a sea of wings, horns, hooves, fur, and cute. They were all staring at me, knowing what they wanted to do but unsure of if they should do it. The room was deathly silent, except for the thumping of my racing heart. A twitch here. A step forward there. Their eyes were hungry. They wanted what I was, and what I was was Ryan fucking Burbank. I couldn't take the anticipation any longer. Best to get it over with, I reasoned to myself. Well, it was was nice knowing you, Twilight, Pinkie, Fluttershy, Dash, Rarity, Applejack, and every pony who was nice to me. I love you, Sarah. "Come and get me, you bastards!" I yelled, opening my arms into the universal symbol of 'come hug me, you bastards.' I closed my eyes as the thundering sound of hooves drew near. This is what my life had been building to. I had lived to 20, got sick and died, got pulled into a world of colorful talking ponies who already loved me, and now I was going to die for real to make them happy again. As the first furry body slammed into me, I knew that this was where I belonged. Ponies are fucking awesome at hugging. "RYAN!!!" Ded. ENDING CREDITS: