I awoke once again (seriously this is just getting old now), this time in a soft bed rather then a cloud or fiery hole, which was a pleasant surprise.
Upon looking around my immediate vecinity I deduced that I was currently situated within some kind of horse hospital; I looked down at my newly acquired foreleg I found my hoof was being firmly grasped by that purple freak of nature from before.
("Twilight...")
THE FROG WAS THAT!?
("That freak of nature as you so aptly put it is my student and loyal friend Twilight Sparkle.")
Um...alright...and who might you be miss disembodied voice?
("My name is Princess Celestia, the sun shackler, demon purger, wielder of the solar plot, one of the two ruling diarchs of Equestira and the bane of patisserie's across the land; but you can refer to me as Celestia.")
....
("Also I'm not disembodied, I'm just not in control of my own at the time being, you seem to have taken up that role as of late.")
Isn’t that the definition of a disembodied voice? And more importantly why do you sound so relaxed with this whole situation taking place?
("Semantics.") Celestia said, or would it be thought... ("As for why I'm so 'relaxed' as you put it, well I've been planing on taking a vacation for a while now and this seems like it could be potentially more entertaining then sending faux friendship problems to Twilight like last time".)
("Besides I have total faith that my sister will be able to keep things from turning to custard for at least a few weeks.)
"PRINCESS!" I snapped out of my internal duologue to the loud mutant-
("Twilight")
Please don't interrupt my narration, now as I was saying-
"PRINCESS!!!"
"FOR THE LOVE OF GLOB WHAT DO YOU WANT!"
"Oh sorry princess, I just wanted to make sure you where alright once you came too, the girls and I were really worried for you."
I tore my eyes away from Twilight to see 8 pairs of eyes looking back at me, 2 horses ("ponies please, the term horse is very offenceive in our culture") sorry, PONIES with horns, 2 with wings, 2 with neither, 1 with both and another that looked like a midget dinosaur.
"Oh...um...hi?"
"Sister!" Exclamed the tall dark blue wingy horny pony, "Are you alright? I received word from the elements that you had violently combusted while visiting your pupil, have you perhaps been put under the effects of an explosive vocabulary curse like the ruler of the fungus people a few millennia ago?"
("That was also a great weekend, they had some wonderful plumbers back there. Such a shame they where conquered by the dragons".)
Now that just sounds silly.
"No no I'm fine, although Celestia is a different story," I thought that it might just be better to get the truth out in the open so that I could go home sooner rather then later, "see, I might have accidentally made her go kaboom after cannonballing onto her, and maybe might have slightly accidentally taken control of her body..."
I look around at the stunned faces of the ponies surrounding my bed for a few seconds, thinking that I might have just given myself a death sentence rather than an exorcism; until Twilight burst out laughing.
"He..he..good one princess, but I've known you long enough to know that you're too strong mentally and magically for any spirit, wraith or other phantasmagoria to possess you in a matter of seconds, forget about by accident."
I realised at this point that she probably wouldn't believe me or attempt anything to get me fixed unless I did something drasticly out of character.
("what are you planning?")
"Twilight, how long have I known you?"
"Most of my life."
"And would you say that I care for you deeply and wouldn't do anything to intentionally harm you?"
"Without a doubt."
("oh no")
"Good, could you come closer for a second please?" I asked, to which Twilight nodded and leaned in towards my raised head.
I then proceeded to deck her right in her adorable purple face.
("oh my me")
"I think that should be proof enoug-"
I then got decked in return by what felt like a rainbow with brass knuckles.
"WHAT THE HAY DID YOU DO THAT TO TWI FOR YOU GHOSTLY COW PAT!!!" It appeared that the rainbow could also communicate aswell as throw a hard right.
"Well I needed proof so that somebody could get me out of the Royal marshmallows body and back into my own." I responded, rubbing my muzzle and cursing under my breath.
"SO YOU HIT HER!"
"I didn't think she would believe me unless I did something out of character for her."
"THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU HAD TO HIT MY FRIEND!"
"IN THE SPAN OF LESS THAN A DAY I HAVE FALLEN FROM THE SKY, EXPLODED, BECAME A RULER OF AN ENTIRELY DIFFERENT SPECIES, PASSED OUT MULTIPLE TIMES AND BEEN PUNCHED BY A RAINBOW WITH WINGS, I THINK I HAVE AN EXCUSE FOR PUNCHING A FREAKING HORSE!!"
("Pony")
"YOU SHUT UP TOO SUN BUTT!"
"Um, excuse me, but who are you shouting at?" The voice this time came from the yellow one.
"Oh, yeah, Celestia’s in my head too, and she's being very rude to me."
("No I'm not")
Shut up.
"Celestia's alright?" Said Twilight as she picked herself up off the floor.
"I believe so, although she said she's currently on vacation; sorry about punching you by the way."
"It's alright, I guess she deserves a break every now and then for all her hard work" she said (it is a she right Celestia? "yes, 'it' is infact a mare"), rubbing her cheek. "Although I'd rather you not hit anyone else while in my mentors body."
This time the pony with the apple tattoo's spoke up, "But what should we do about this spirit fella, we can't 'ave a country run by somepony who 'as no idea what he's doin', no offence but you don't seem all that...princess-y"
"I agree, although she told me that her sister should keep things from falling apart for a while, also I'd like to state that I am not a ghost and up until recently was also not a pony (see I’m getting the hang of it); I don't suppose I could get all of yours perchance?"
"'Right, my name's Applejack."
"I'm Rainbow Dash."
"Rarity, pleasure to meet you."
"Hi, I'm Spike."
"Starlight Glimmer."
"Fluttershy."
what?
("she said Fluttershy")
Right, onto the tall one then.
"I am princess Luna, whom my sister has no doubt already informed you about."
("Say I have")
"No she hasn't."
("I'm starting to think you don't like me much")
Meh, you talk too much.
"Oh, well I guess she must have been busy trying to find a way to purge her body of you herself"
"Yeah, lets go with that; so last but not least, what's your name pinkie?"
"Pinkie!"
"Yes I just said that, but what is your name?"
"Pinkie!"
"Yes, but what is your name?"
"Pinkie!"
".....Is this one broken or something?" I ask Rarity
"Nope, that is her name; 'Pinkamena Diane Pie', or 'Pinkie Pie' as she likes to be called."
"Oh...sorry Pinkie"
"Pinkie!"
"Hold on" A.J bonks Pinkie on the head, making her whole body shudder and spasm before making what sounded like the Windows start up noise.
"HI THERE! I'm Pinkie Pie! But you can just call me Pinkie Pie! Do you like cake? What's your favourite flavour? I bet it's my 10 tier chocolate 4987 ways cake since that's Celestia's favourite and you look just like her! Are you her long lost twin or something!" She then proceeded to leap into the air, seemingly shattering the laws of physics in doing so as she remained there in the same location for several seconds, "GGGGGGGGGAAAAAASSSSSSSSPPPPPPPPP! You are aren't you! That means you're a princess aswell, and that means that I have to throw you a party since we now have five princesseseseseseses, and I'd also have to throw you a welcome to Ponyville party, and a get well soon party, and a long lost twins reunion party for you and Celestia, and a long lost big sister reunion party for you and Luna and it will be the BIGGEST BESTEST PARTY EVER!!!!!" she then decided to finally land as she pulled a cannon from her hair and used it to shower us all in cupcake scented confetti, "I'd better start planning it, see ya soon!" Pinkie then rushed out through the window and down the street at 50 miles per hour.
"Is that normal around here?" I asked the group, who asides from some loose bits of confetti convering there heads looked reletivly unfazed.
"More or less" said Twilight, "although if she's planning a party that big I'd of thought she would have fired of some more party cannons, I guess she was in a hurry."
"Wait she has more of them? Where can I buy one?"
"You know, I'm not actually sure if you can, they just seem to materialise from out of her mane, I have tried checking in there for a wormhole or pocket dimension or something but all I found was her head" she said, tapping her muzzle in thought. "I’ll have to look into that at some point.”
“Well in the mean time I don’t think we ever actually asked you what your name is." Said the one with the horn, Starlight I think it was.
"Oh yeah, right, sorry about that. My name is Celestia.”
What.
(”I’m sorry?")
I shook my head and tried again “That’s odd, my name isn’t Celestia, it’s Celestia.”
Ok this is officially starting to creep me out.
“Umm, are you ok there?” Twilight said, looking concerned.
“Uh yeah, let’s just get out of here. My heads a bit fuzzy and a walk might do me some good, you know get the blood pumping and all that.” I said hurriedly before rolling out of the hospital bed, where I made the rookie mistake of forgetting that I was a quadruped, resulting in what would have been a rather unpleasant experience with the floor. Luckily I was caught in some form of glowing, gravitational anomaly before that could happen and was brought to my rather unstable hooves.
I looked over at Twilight to see that her horn was glowing as she said, “Celestia, please stay here a little longer. Just until we know if you’re alright or not, ok?”
“Look Twilight, I’d love to but I really don’t want to be in here any longer than I have to be. So how about we go to somewhere that is not a hospital and I can rest there, deal?”
Twilight paused.
“Please?”
Silence from Twilight.
“Pretty please?”
More silence...
“With a cherry on-“
“Fine,” she relented with a sigh, “Luna, could you help me get her to the castle?”
Score. And so I set off from the hospital with both mares flanking me on either side as we made our way towards a massive crystal eyesore.
”It’s actually Twilight’s castle”
Neat, do you have one?
”A Crystal Palace? No, but I have my top mares working on it”
I’m sorry?
”Top. Mares.