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// No Elders Were Harmed! 
// Story: Cutie Mark Crusader Candy Bar Marketing Team! 
// by TehSporkBandit 
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	There they stood, two lines of ponies.  Wind whipped and rippled what parts of their manes and coats that weren't caked with mud.  Big Mac's eyes were narrowed across from Fluttershy's half-hearted snear, Applejack's smug grin was met with an equally arrogant smile from Rainbow Dash, and Braeburn was poiting his eyebrows at a confused Thunderlane.

The snap!

Apple Fritter backpedaled after the hoofball met her hooves.  She held onto it like a newborn foal, her eyes darting around the tumultuous mass of Apples and Pegasi before her, searching for an opportunity.

Granny Smith wobbled out from the pony pile, rickety knees carrying her past the 5 yard line.

Apple Fritter winced, but ground her teeth and let the Hoofball fly.  Time seemed to slow as it soared gracefully through the air with perfect rotations.  Granny Smith turned and looked up with waiting hooves.

And was promptly smacked to the ground by Flitter.

Pinkie Pie waved emphatically, "Time out!"  Sweetie Belle pulled the whistle from the pocket on her striped shirt and blew it.  Scootaloo immediately ran over and started yelling arguments right into Sweetie Belle's face.

As Granny Smith rolled onto her haunches, Pinkie Pie bounded over to her.  "Applebloom, that fumble means they have the ball," she hastily ripped the packaging off a rectangular prism of pure magic, "hurry up and eat a Snicker's!"

Spitting dirt off her tongue, Granny Smith wiped the mud out of her eyes.  "Now, I ain't buying no Filly Scout Cookies!"

Pinkie harrumphed and shoved the miracle bar into the older pony's muzzle and worked Granny Smith's jaw to force her to chew it.  "Better?"

Red hair smacked wetly as Applebloom rolled back across the field and sprang to her hooves, sending mud everywhere.  "Heck yeah!  Let's make them feel sadder than ah garter snake in ah fashion boutique!"

The ponies lined up again and the snap sent the Hoofball spiraling into Cloudchaser's hooves.  "Fluttershy, go long!"

Iron Will burst through the defensive line in a decisive charge, the entire opposing team clinging on helplessly.  "When somepony tries to block, show them that you rock!"

The camera stops to focus on Big Mac as he is flung to ground, his eyes shut and muzzle clamped into a grimace. A Snicker's logo follows him into frame and a king-sized Snicker's slips loose from his yoke as he slides to a stop.

He slowly opens his eyes and hooves around for his chocolatey lifeline to heaven before pulling it to his chest.  "YOU'RE NOT YOU WHEN YOU'RE HUNGRY" slowly edges in from the bottom of the screen.

"Nnnope...."