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// I should probably tell you, some ponies call me the Romantic Rockslide 
// Story: Rebellious Alicorn Teenager Shenanigans 
// by Masterweaver 
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	You know, it's usually just me that gets in trouble. Cause it's usually only me that can cause this much trouble. But, well, Panther and I are best buds, you know. And he does have this whole 'you only live once' thing going, cause of how he was raised. Man, he's cool. Still, there are times--very rare--when he goes too far. Usually I'm there too. And, well, mom and dad might be willing to put up with his shit cause I almost nuked his mom that one time...

...but Limestone Pie? Nope.

See, Pinkie brings her family up regularly, sometimes all at once, but usually just one at a time. They're rock farmers, right, so of course the crystal empire is going to interest them. So this time, she brought her loud sister, the one that's probably secretly a dragon, and they were doing whatever it is that rock farmers do when they come to the crystal empire, and Panther hasn't gotten the memo so he arranges one of his little pranks. Well, I say little, but it involved three buckets of red wine, a Sapphire Shores record, a conveniently misfiled guard rotation notice, and around twenty crystal ewes.

Pinkie, now, she laughed it off. Limestone, though... Well, I was going down to meet them and Panther ran right into me, way more scared than I have ever seen him before or since. He's darn lucky he did, I think I'm the only pony in the empire that can actually handle Limestone.

So, the loud dragon-in-a-mare's-body comes skidding around the corner, red wine all over her like she's doubling in a really bad horror flick or something, and she sees him hiding behind me. And this isn't the first time we've met so she feels comfortable yelling "GET THE FRACK OUT OF THE WAY YOU ACICULAR COXCOMB I'M GOING TO BEAT SOME RESPECT INTO THAT AGGREGATE OF TARNISHED OOLITE!"

Now if I was a normal pony I might have cowered, or ran, or tried to reason with the angry mare. But I know how Limestone works, right, and you can't show any weakness if you want to push her back. So I take a wide stance and yell "YOU ARCHEAN ENANIOTROPIC RENIFORM, IF YOU LAY A HOOF ON HIM I'LL INCRUST YOUR CHROMATES INTO THE CRYSTAL HEART'S FACETS!"

...or something like that. Honestly, I pick up a lot of words from Limestone I don't know the meaning of. But they must be terrible.

So anyway we swear at each other for a while, and then she gets fed up and just straight up charges at Panther, and I try to push her back cause, you know, he's my friend. But Limestone is really angry and I'm like HOLY SHIT this mare is straight up matching my pushback and I try to push her back and the ground of the palace freaking cracks under my hooves and part of me is wondering what the heck is going on cause I've never really fought an earth pony, right?

And that's when Pinkie finds us and she's like "Why are you two fighting?" You know, I can never decide if she's really flipping naive or really flippin' clever, when it comes to ponies, because she sounded so genuine that me and Limestone actually cooled off a bit. We were still glaring at each other, don't get me wrong, but we weren't in a shovefest anymore.

So I say "She was going to kill Panther," and she's like "I said 'beat some respect' into him, not 'kill' him," and I just point at the cracks in the ground and I'm all like "Yeah, like you could restrain yourself," and she actually seems to stop and think about it. Eventually she throws up her hooves and stomps off. And I'm thinking that we got off pretty good, since it's Limestone that got into trouble, and I go to thank Pinkie for intervening.

The next day, though, the crystal ewes file a lawsuit against Panther. And I'm like "What the shit, you agreed to be part of this mess?!" But apparently whatever happened was enough to 'traumatize' them and they want monetary compensation so I go to get some of the funds out of my stipend, right, but guess who's standing right in front of the door? LIMESTONE FREAKING PIE. With a grim grin on her gray face. And she says, "Running to mommy and daddy, Sky-lala?"

Look, she was implying that I didn't earn my nickname, right? She was making me sound like a child. I couldn't let that go unchallenged!

But I couldn't look like I was weak, either, so I had to figure out a reason for me being there that didn't involve mom and dad. So I said "You know what, no, I was actually looking for you." And she's a little confused, so I explained that there was this whole money thing with the ewes, so me and Panther needed to find a way to pay off the debt, and hey, rock farming pays ludicrously well, doesn't it?

I swear that mare is secretly a dragon. And not the nice kind like Spike. Nice dragons don't make that kind of smile. Really, I should have been suspicious when she accepted my offer so readily (on the caveat that Panther come too, because, well, Panther pulled the prank, you know). And we go in to talk to mom and dad about this and she's actually polite, and I'm surprised she's polite, and mom and dad just nod and agree to the idea because it might teach me, I dunno, humility? Whatever.

The point is, me and Panther end up taking a little trip to the Pie family rock farm. Yeah, I know, princess on a rock farm, what the shit right? It did help that Pinkie and Maud were there. Their parents were... kinda weird, spoke a little like grauntie Luna does sometimes, and I don't know if they even gave a shit I was an alicorn. All I know is that they would spritz me and Panther with something whenever we used 'befouled words' which got annoying as all get-out, I mean, what?

Now you might be wondering why they were so ready to accept two strangers on their rock farm. Well, see, apparently around that time Marble--Pinkie's quiet sister--decided to perform her Choosing ceremony. It was this whole big thing, where she made carvings of every pony she knew and then hung them up by twine over this special rock, and whichever one fell onto the rock would be the pony she married. And she was basically meditating in front of the rock at all times. It's... okay, I can't even say it's an earth pony thing, because most earth ponies don't even do that anymore, but it's something exclusive to earth ponies if that makes any sense?

I didn't know any of this at the time, though, since me and Panther were too busy just breaking up rocks for resale. Apparently that was all we were allowed to do, they didn't trust us to move the rocks or identify the rocks, we just smashed them. With picks and stuff. It was long and boring, and every night when we went home Limestone would just grin this evil grin at me and ask "You ready to go home?" And I'd say "NOPE" and go on about how this was all so energizing and shit--yeah, I was lying through my teeth, fine, but I wouldn't let myself get one-upped by some dragon-mare!

Thing is, I wasn't the only pony suffering through this. Panther's a lot of things, but tough ain't one of them. I might have been able to handle eating freaking rocks (no, seriously, I'm not joking) but the poor colt just couldn't keep up with a family of rock-smashing earth ponies. So eventually I went up to Pinkie's dad and asked if we were being paid for, you know, time spent working or actual results. And he spends a few minutes thinking about this, before saying he'll talk to Pinkie about it.

Now, if I'd been sent to the rock farm as a punishment, it would have been "Do your time, no question." But Pinkie, she's got that strange sort of naivety where she sees the best in everypony and can't see a trick coming. So she convinces her dad that we're being paid for the smashed rocks that we bring in, not the amount of time we spend on it. And he comes back and gives me the news.

Just a quick reminder, I was born an alicorn. Which means I can do a few things that most ponies can't. Like, say, fly straight up for a good five or ten miles, orient myself right over the mound of humongous rocks we needed to break, and use my earth pony magic to make my forehooves the world's most powerful gravity-powered sledgehammer.

The impact sends rocks sliding, right, this whole thick boulder just shatters and starts rolling down the hill, and Pinkie's dad starts to panic cause that's where Marble is meditating, right? So he rushes off, and I rush off after him, and Panther's smart enough to run for the house to get help. And I've got to tell you, that old stallion's actually got this great sense of balance, I mean I can fly over this avalanche since I've got freaking wings but he's walking all over it like some sort of circus acrobat. Anyway, we reach the bottom of the hill, and there's Marble, and it looks like a boulder is headed for her but at the last moment I manage to use my magic to break it up.

Yeah, you know how I didn't know about the Choosing ceremony? The boulder's shards go over and around her and just cut through the twine and Marble opens her eyes and there are four different ponydolls on the choosing stone. Well, four out of twenty isn't ridiculous, right? Anyway, her dad is happy she's alive, and then he sees the ponydolls and he's... well, he clams up. Because, well, apparently this means Marble has to marry four different ponies. I don't know this until I ask and he explains it, and I just shrug and say "Herds are a thing." And he gives me this flat look.

So after that, while we're rounding up all the rocks and gathering them up, Marble takes me to one side and, get this, thanks me. Because apparently the ponydolls that fell on the rock were all ponies she loved, and she didn't want to choose, and now she has a legit excuse to get them all. And I just decide to roll with it and say it's my mom's amazing influence, or something, and "hey if you need help with the wedding stuff just call on me." And about that time Panther brings the rest of the Pies, and Marble announces her results, and Pinkie's cheering and Maud has one of her rare smiles and even Limestone doesn't seem totally pissed at me although from the look I'm getting I know the next time we're alone she's going to be spitting venom.

And their parents share a look, say it's a happy occasion, give us our money and shove us back on the train.

Of course I didn't get the 'Romantic Rockslide' nickname until Marble's wedding, but really, come on, where else could I have gotten it?