With a polite knock on the stallion's door, he spoke up from inside.
"Come on in, it's open."
I took the knob in my hoof and twisted it, pushing inwards and entering the small office of Doctor Haywalker. He worked on base as a military psychologist and handled Marines and sailors with post-traumatic stress or other issues affecting their mentality. I was paged earlier to stop by and have a short talk with him.
The sky-blue unicorn peered up from his laptop on his desk. "Ah, good morning, Star. I wasn't expecting you until later."
"I prefer to get things done as soon as possible," I let out a very gentle chuckle and took a seat opposite of his desk. "What was it you wished to see me for?"
The doctor closed his laptop where it was and put his hooves together on top of it, making eye contact. "I have heard of your presence in Manehattan, a week back when the Great Gryphon Constitution invaded our shores. You and a few others decided it would be best to stay behind in case something happened, and sure enough, it did. And while I commemorate you for your success, that is not I brought you here." He then paused to clear his throat.
"In case you do not know prior, I work with..." he motioned his hooves a bit. "Ponies, mainly Marines, who need a bit of advice to work around social anxiety, or worse, post-traumatic stress. Now, I've yet to come across somepony who has been in the heat of battle who does not have the slightest of abnormalities in their personality or mental health."
"So, pretty much, you're saying you have me here because I have PTSD?"
"Not necessarily PTSD, I have you here to take some information and work with things you have told me. Then I will determine, over time, if you have it, and if you do, I'm here to help. Now..."
Doctor Haywalker then reached down to a desk drawer and pulled it open, digging through some papers and grabbing a pen as well. He soon took out a couple of pieces of paper and set them down before me along with the pen. The papers were a mental evaluation.
"Go over the questions carefully, write down anything else in the blank spaces you may have concerns with. No pressure."
I nodded, taking the pen in my hoof and holding up the first page to look over it carefully. Some of the questions were just a tad strange and therefore I left them blank, not knowing what to answer. Much of the questions had to do with conditions I may have been feeling and asked me to check them if they were an issue.
The next page was much of the same thing, but included half of a page worth of allergies and other things such as past surgeries that I could check off.
I finished the evaluation around ten or more minutes after and handed it over to the doctor, while sticking the pen back in the small cup he kept utensils in. Haywalker put on some rounded reading glasses, looking over what was answered carefully. I waited patiently, resting my hooves on my legs. Despite the calm atmosphere, however, it was an uneasy feeling.
Slowly, the doctor's eyes moved up from the evaluation and made direct contact with my own. He set the papers down and exhaled in a strange way. This wasn't good...
"Star."
"Yes, doc?" I could feel my ears pin back.
"While my initial look tells me you're free of post-traumatic stress, it appears you have the slight warning signs of dysthymia."
"Dysth—what?"
"Chronic depression. It is in the milder range and is not too terrible, but it is evidently still affecting you. You put on your evaluation," he picked up the papers. "Trouble sleeping, short-term memory loss, fatigue, loss of appetite, sluggish thinking, and minor agitation, plus recent loss. These are just a few of the signs that you have what you have."
My ears remained fallen backwards as I stared at the doctor. "De—depression?"
"It is, however, curable."
I leaned forward, putting my hooves on the desk. "Please, tell me."
Haywalker grabbed his glasses with a silver magic aura and cleaned them off with a cloth, setting them down on the desk. "You need to take a vacation, whether it be to go home and spend time with friends and family, or go somewhere you've never been for a little bit. You are too focused on work, and ever since the attacks, you have been more restless than ever. This is the best cure I have for you right now. If this doesn't work out, I'm afraid I may have to switch you over to anti-depressants, and that isn't something I can guarantee will cure you."
"A vacation? Sir, I—"
The doctor put his hoof up to shush me, which I did. "Exactly my point. Your work means a lot to you and you're dedicated. That's not a bad thing. What is bad is, you're too obsessed. You use your work to hide from something. What is it?"
"Doc, I..." I stuttered, then sighed. "I don't know what I'm trying to hide from."
"Your parents?"
"... Perhaps."
"I see." The doctor stiffened his posture in his chair, sitting up straight. "I do have another option for you, though I will need to speak with your commanding officer and platoon sergeant, but... I have much doubt you will not enjoy it."
My head tilted just slightly, giving the doctor a quizzical look. "What is it?"
***
Tonight was a big night for the whole world, as today marked New Year's Eve. It was time for a fresh start. In less than an hour, 2014 would be in the past.
Along the riverfront was open for Marines and sailors to gather and watch the fireworks display Manehattan normally set off at midnight. Despite the city still rebuilding, the show was ordered to still go on. Many ponies thought of it as a symbol of hope for recovery from the terrible chain of events. It gave ponies the opportunity to come together once more.
I walked up to one of the piers, up to a blanket laid out with Ashfall, Silver Edge, Anchorage, and Nightpath all gathered on it in warmer clothes, as well as some food to enjoy. If I had to say so myself, I would say most if not all of the base's occupants were here. From what others have told me, the festivities in Manehattan for this time of year were stupendous and unlike anything anywhere else in Equestria. Only one way to find out.
"Happy New Year's Eve," I walked up and took a seat beside them on the checkered blanket.
"You too, Star!" Anchorage gave a soft smile. "For a moment I thought I'd have to come and drag ya out here."
"Nah, I wouldn't miss this for the world." I replied warmly.
"Hot cocoa?" Silver levitated up a kettle of the steamy beverage, as well as a styrofoam cup.
"Sure, fill me up." I smiled to Silver.
The unicorn poured a cup, levitating it to my hoof. "There you go."
"Thanks," I nodded once and took a sip. It burned my tongue a bit and made me wince. Going back for a second time wasn't nearly as bad. "Hot!"
"Well, it is in the name..." Ashfall nudged me in the shoulder.
The others chuckled at that. I did too. All of us then turned to look toward the cityscape opposite of the river from us. The lights shone bright and reflected off of the wavy surface of the water while above, there was a gentle glow. A rumor had also been going around that for this occasion, Manehattan would go dark for the fireworks display. This would be a whole new sight to see no city at all. Not without the building lights that is.
I felt my smile begin to fade a tad as I remembered something. Something important. Something important that I needed to bring up to everypony else.
"Hey uh... you guys?"
Their heads turned to look at me, eyes focusing on mine. "Yeah?" Night asked.
I set my cup down. "So, I spoke with Doctor Haywalker today. He called me into his office for a little while."
Night and Anchorage's heads cocked. Silver's brow raised. "What did he say? Is something wrong?"
I looked between the four of them for a couple of short moments, then sighed. "I took a mental evaluation, he thinks right now I have chronic depression."
They gasped softly, eyes widening. This wasn't going good so far...
"Is it because of Solar?" Anchorage whispered audibly.
"Not necessarily," I shook my head. "He believes it is long term, and that with my symptoms, I have had it for a few months at least. So, what he is suggesting is, I take a vacation. Two weeks at the least."
"And are you going to?" Silver asked halfheartedly.
"Well... he gave another suggestion, too..."
The others went quiet. Then Ash asked, "What is it?"
"Honorable discharge."
Immediately, I was knocked back by Silver leaping on top. "No, you are not doing that!" His voice was beginning to crack. "D-do you want to?"
With a grunt from being pressed to the cold concrete, I looked up at the beige unicorn distressfully. "I told the doctor I would think about it. I... really would not like to. But, he said I cannot stay like this."
Gradually, the unicorn pushed himself off. Looking up at him, I could see tears were building.
"But I can't bear to leave any of you behind either."
Silver's ears perked and he lowered his head down to mine. His pupils were huge. Mine widened slightly as well as he did, and I squirmed beneath him.
"I'm not... going... to leave. I can't. I won't."
"It's a pretty big decision," Anchorage said, pulling Silver off of me and yanking me upright. "Either way, we respect what you choose. It is your life, after all."
I nodded to him. "This is my life. This is what I have become. There is no going back to normal any more." I then moved my eyes across the others. "Once I signed those papers, I decided this is who I will be. There won't be anything that will change that. I will stay put."
Anchorage gave a small smile, nodding once. "Then we are glad to keep you."
"Truly, you four are the greatest friends I have ever met in my entire life. To leave on such short notice and having only known you all for a few months would be..."
"Rude?"
"Uncivil?"
"Crude?"
Anchorage glared at everypony else, then returned his focus to me. "It would be disheartening, but we would understand either way. Mental health is nothing to joke around with. If you decide it is your time to leave, or go on a vacation, if it is for the better for yourself, then by all means you should do it. Like I said, this is your life we are talking about. We don't make decisions for you."
"I hardly make my own life decisions as it is," I grinned softly. "My last one was enlisting."
"Oh, hush up," Anchorage punched my shoulder and grinned back. "You get my point."
"Hey, it's starting!" Shouted a sailor from behind.
In that instant, all lights on base, followed by a wave of lights shutting off in Manehattan sent the area into total darkness. Nothing could be seen, aside from the twinkling stars above, now visible without the glow of the cityscape. Behind a cloud sat Luna's beautiful, bright moon. Far aside from the cold temperatures, the night was absolutely perfect.
One single beam of light was still shooting up from the city, where Bridleway was, as well as the massive array of jumbo-trons. In the distance, cheering of many ponies could be heard. The countdown was over. A second after, fireworks shot up high into the sky and exploded with magnificent color and size differentials above the city and river. Some took different shapes, such as flowers, hearts, then a sun and a moon right beside each other to symbolize the princesses. Initially, the pops and kabooms left me startled, my heart beginning to race.
Then, I felt a hoof rest on my shoulder. With only the flashes of the fireworks giving light all around, I could not tell for sure who it was, although it appeared like no one was there, yet I still felt somepony's hoof. But at the same time, I calmed. A strange sense of comfort swept across my soul. It allowed me to watch with no fear, and no memories of the fighting. The words of the Lunar Navy ran through my mind as well.
Semper Fortis.
"Happy New Year, you guys," Nightpath said with a smile, watching the display with pure awe.
And so we hoped for it to be.
***
"Now, have you made up your mind?" Doctor Haywalker asked, making perfect eye contact.
With a determined, stern look, I nodded in response. "Yes, doc."
"Then what might it be?"
"I will stay a Marine. I won't give up on this opportunity just yet. Not if it has changed my life this dramatically."
"Dramatically, in what way?"
"A good way, doc. It really has given me a new outlook, as toward helping others out and keeping Equestria safe, even if my efforts are minor. I feel good about this."
Haywalker cracked a small smile. "Very well. I will get a hold of your commanding officer. We will arrange your leave, but, it will take some time. Until then, I want you to keep it easy on your shifts, alright?"
"Yes, doc."
"Good. Now, you are dismissed. Have a nice day, Private."