//------------------------------//
// Chapter 2 
// Story: Rainbro Dash 
// by fellstorm 
//------------------------------//


Rainbro Dash





Part 2


Rainbow Dash had a good time with his friends, but left the picnic feeling lonely and despondent. He drifted listlessly through the air in the general direction of his appointment with Rarity. He knew Twilight and the others were doing their best to be there for him, but how could they possibly comprehend what he was going through? He needed empathy, not pity. He was so lost in his own moping that he didn’t even notice somepony below was calling his name.
“Rainbow Dash!”
“Huh?” Rainbow looked down. Big Macintosh had excused himself from the picnic and was trotting along beneath him. Rainbow let himself glide down until he was just a few feet off the ground.
“What’s up, Big Mac?” he asked.
Big Macintosh stood and gathered himself for a moment, considering everything he was going to say very carefully. He was thrifty with conversation, as if every word cost money to speak. Few ponies had ever heard Big Mac string more than two words along at a stretch.
“Ah know what yer goin’ through,” he said after a brief silence.
“How could you?” Rainbow frowned.
“Well, Ah hain’t never been turned into a mare, but Ah do know what it’s like to be in a body that’s not mah own.”
Rainbow considered this.
“I suppose that’s true,” he said.
“Ah don’t know everything yer goin’ through, but I have a better idea than most. If you ever need somepony to talk to, Ah’ll listen.”
Rainbow Dash had been so wrapped around his own misery, he’d almost completely forgotten the month and a half Big Macintosh and Prince Blueblood spent in each other’s bodies. Big Mac even ended up with some unfamiliar equipment. So maybe it was a unicorn horn instead of… you know, but that was something. Rainbow rubbed his forehead unconsciously and counted his lucky stars that at least nothing had appeared there. He found himself smiling in spite of himself.
“Will do. Thanks, Big Mac,” he said.
Big Mac nodded and turned back to the picnic. Twilight was no doubt starting to get anxious and fidgety. He’d have to wean her out of her clingy phase soon if he ever wanted to get any real work done on the farm again. Rainbow watched him until he was out of sight.


***

“Sooo good of you to join me, darling,” smiled Rarity, taking a deep breath to savor the fresh air of the sidewalk café. She and Rainbow Dash enjoyed coffee in small cups with a side of biscotti. At least, Rainbow Dash tried to enjoy his coffee. Café D’Licorne catered to a predominantly unicorn customer base, which meant that the food came with utensils and the drinks in cups designed to be manipulated with magic, rather than hooves. The long and short of it was that Rainbow Dash felt very conspicuous lapping at his coffee while everypony else sipped delicately from tiny porcelain demitasses and pretended to pretend not to stare.
“Uh, no problem, Rarity,” said Rainbow, wiping the last drips of espresso from his chin.
Rarity opened her mouth to speak, but was interrupted by a din on the street. A small knot of ponies draped in long red robes with gold trim danced up the thoroughfare, banging tambourines and clapping wooden clappers. They rang bells and sang as a pair of red-draped unicorns raised aloft a pair of crimson banners emblazoned with a golden sun-disk, the personal standard of Princess Celestia.
“Ugh, is it really time for another one of their little get-togethers already? Didn’t they just have a feast day a few months ago celebrating something or other?” Rarity groaned, turning up her nose at the gaudy procession.
With the Springtime Frolic over and done, and all the decorations taken down and put away, most ponies were all partied out. They wouldn’t celebrate another national holiday until the Summer Sun Celebration in June. However, the Cult of Celestia (or Celestians, as they were known to themselves) was already gearing up to celebrate Ascension Day, which was a fairly big to do in cultish circles. It wasn’t nearly as big as the Summer Sun Celebration, but it did merit some demonstration of faith, and even ponies only peripherally devout would take some time to remember the day Princess Celestia –and to a lesser extent, Princess Luna- became alicorns and drove Discord from the land.
“Wow, I never realized how annoying that was,” remarked Rainbow Dash.
“Oh, I know, dear. No sense of decorum whatsoever. Hopping about like grasshoppers and banging on tambourines like gypsies. They should try and behave with a little more class,” Rarity huffed.
Rainbow looked out at the street, noticing the leaping ponies for the first time.
“Oh,” he said “Not them, I mean that colt over there is wearing socks with sandals.”
Rainbow pointed his hoof over at the next table. Rarity turned to look. It was worse than she’d imagined: they were argyle socks!
“Ugh, how horrid!” she squeaked. She did her best not to look, but now that Rainbow Dash had pointed it out, it was eating her up inside. After a few seconds she couldn’t take it anymore and signaled to the waiter as he was passing by.
“Oh, garçon! Would you please move us to another table? This one is unsuitable,” Rarity gestured to the offending pony and raised her eyebrows in a see what I mean? expression. The waiter followed her gaze and pretended to see whatever it was she saw.
“Oh, of course, madame,” he answered, pantomiming disgust. Catering to fussy customers was second nature to the effete waiter, and at this point he didn’t even bother to question or investigate their complaints. It was much easier to give them what they wanted and sympathize with their distress. Nopony could be more obnoxious or petty than an incensed sophisticate.
The waiter gathered up their things and relocated them to a table closer to the curb. Rarity deemed it a safe distance from the walking fashion disaster and they resumed their meal, bolstered by some complementary espressos on behalf of the manager. 
Café D’Licorne was the most urbane café in Ponyville, done up in the style of its sister café on the high streets of Canterlot. It was the hottest spot in town for intelligencia, glitterati and any other pony that wished to put on big-city airs. Rarity was their most solid customer and enjoyed stammtisch status there whenever she wished to drop by. Since making her big splash in Canterlot high society and breaking out from among the demimondes and social scrabblers that made up D’Licorne’s typical clientele, she got even better treatment than most.
“I must say, Rainbow Dash, your taste is much more discerning than I give you credit,” said Rarity, leaning in and examining him more closely.
“If you say so,” said Rainbow.
“I really mean it. You know, being a colt is quite becoming for you. You look very sporty, not at all like the gruff tomboy you were as a mare.”
“Thanks… I think,” Rainbow frowned a little.
“Oh, and that mane! Most stallions would kill for a mane like yours! I know I would,” she stroked wistfully at her own delicate coiffure.
“You’ve got to be kidding,” snarked Rainbow.
“Oh, not at all! It’s so rich and full! Granted, it looks a little unruly now, but the things I could do to it! Oh! You have to let me get you in a chair,” she reached across the table, placing her hooves atop his and giving him her best puppy-dog grin.
Rainbow edged back a bit.
“I dunno…”
“Pleaaaase?” she fluttered her eyelashes at him.
Rainbow Dash felt a twinge somewhere deep in the part of a stallion’s brain that can’t refuse a pretty girl any favor. He fought it, but other parts of him started chiming in their two cents and he acquiesced to the majority. He thought living with a mare’s hormones were bad, he never realized how bossy a stallion’s could be. No wonder they always acted like idiots.
“Okay… fine… but no fru fru stuff,” he admonished.
“On my honor,” Rarity raised her hoof.
“Pinkie Pie Swear?” asked Pinkie Pie.
Rarity and Rainbow both jumped a foot out of their seats. Pinkie Pie leaned over the wrought-iron fence that separated the café patio from the sidewalk, stretching her neck as far as it would go until it was practically resting on their table. Her hind legs waggled in midair, keeping her balance.
“Hi Pinkie Pie,” said Rainbow.
“Hey Rainbow, hey Rarity!” she grinned stupidly at both of them. 
They stared back, watching her face bob up and down above their biscotti. She balanced like a teeter-totter on the fence for several more seconds before pitching forward and landing on her face beneath the table. The crash caused a stir among the other restaurant patrons and the garçon fired a dirty look in her direction as he scurried to calm everypony down. Pinkie Pie sprung up and dusted herself off, none the worse for her fall.
“You okay?” asked Rainbow.
“Never better,” Pinkie smiled “I’m more curious about how you’re doing. Has Twilight figured out a way to solve your little problem yet?”
“It’s not little,” huffed Rainbow.
“Really? Maybe it’s the cold air-”
“She means the problem isn’t little, Pinkie!” Rarity interrupted “Honestly.”
“Oh…”
“Twilight’s working on it,” Rainbow sighed.
“Well that’s good. Hopefully you don’t get changed back too soon,” said Pinkie.
“What!?”
“Pinkie, how could you say that?” Rarity gasped.
“All I mean is hopefully you don’t get turned back before you get to have any fun.  As you’re stuck like this, you should make the most of it. You can’t make Twilight go any faster, there’s no point in being miserable the whole time,” Pinkie explained.
“What can a colt do for fun that a mare can’t?” asked Rainbow Dash.
“Well…” Pinkie thought hard before bursting out with “Have you tried to pee standing up yet?”
“Really!” Rarity gasped.
“Pinkie, I could already pee standing up!”
“Well, yeah, but we always have to spread our legs way apart and squat,” Pinkie demonstrated.
“Pinkie! Stop that! This is a public restaurant!” Rarity glanced around, mortified. The other patrons were looking noticeably ruffled.
“Anyway, there’s tons of other fun stuff besides that, I’m sure. Just use your imagination!”
Rarity and Rainbow Dash gave her bemused looks. Pinkie sniffed curiously at Rainbow’s espresso.
“I must say Pinkie, I’m surprised to see you here,” said Rarity, trying to change the subject.
“Really? I wasn’t even trying to surprise you that time! I’m better at it than I thought!” she grinned.
“Ahem. What I mean is, I’m surprised to see you here instead of over there,” Rarity gestured to the celebratory Celestians across the street. One of them had gotten up on top of a produce crate and was quoting passages from the Biography of the Royal Sisters (Equestrian Standard Version) at passers-by.
“Yeah, I would have thought you’d be singing and dancing right there with ‘em,” added Rainbow Dash.
Pinkie Pie kept smiling, but the humor had gone out of her eyes.
“Oh, you guys, I don’t have to join in every time I see a party,” she laughed nervously.
“Yeah but, you’re such a party pony, something like that is-”
“I don’t feel like it,” Pinkie interrupted, getting flustered.
“Really, because-”
“Idon’thavetopartyifIdon’twantto!” Pinkie barked. She was breathing heavily now.
“Okay, okay, calm down!” said Rainbow “Have a cookie, geez.”
Rainbow pushed his biscotti across the table to Pinkie.
“It’s. Called. A. Biscotti!” Pinkie exclaimed, flipping the dish and the biscotti up off the table and into the street where they landed with a clatter and tinkle of broken porcelain.
Rainbow Dash and Rarity could only stare in silence as Pinkie Pie stewed, flaring her nostrils and drawing deep, flustered breaths.
“Ahem,” the garçon appeared over Pinkie Pie’s shoulder and fixed her with a steely glare that would brook no nonsense. Pinkie Pie smiled nervously up at him. He pointed his hoof wordlessly at the exit.
“Ah… Well,” said Rarity “I think it’s time we were all going. Shall we?”
They rose as a group, Pinkie Pie pushed ahead and out the gate.
“Pinkie, wait!” Rainbow called after her. Pinkie didn’t slow up, she scampered around a corner and disappeared without looking back. Rarity lingered behind, settling things with the manager and making sure to leave a generous tip. Rainbow Dash was hovered indecisively, trying to gauge how much longer Rarity would take inside.
In the end, Rarity was too slow. Rainbow snorted in frustration and took to the air, scouring the streets below for any sign of his frizzy pink friend. Unfortunately, Pinkie could vanish as suddenly as she could appear. Rainbow did a few broad circles above the busy marketplace, but even his eagle eyes couldn’t spot her.
What had gotten his friend so ruffled? Pinkie Pie was notoriously eccentric (be honest, a bit of a wingnut) but she usually kept the needle pegged at the “manic” end of the dial. If she was taking a swing towards the depressive…
Rainbow shuddered and tried to shake the image out of his head. He made a mental note to warn Twilight next time he saw her, and to do everything he could to cheer Pinkie up as soon as possible.
Right now though, there was nothing to be done. Goodness knew how a fluorescent pink mare could sneak around so easily, but if Pinkie didn’t want to be seen then she wouldn’t be seen. Rainbow banked off to the east and made towards Fluttershy’s cottage.


***

Twilight Sparkle and Big Macintosh lay together on the basement floor, the air still flushed with humidity from their recent exhilarations. The new lab equipment stood in half-unpacked chaos around the pair, a snapshot of how things had been at the moment the mood overtook them.
Twilight stretched on her side. Half her body was cool from the packed earth beneath her, the other half sweaty from the love-hot hair around her. She traced her hoof through the coarse, red hair on Big Mac’s chest, writing love-letters to his body as she basked in aerobic bliss. The steady rise and fall of Big Mac’s gargantuan barrel told Twilight her colossal colt-friend was on the verge of sleep and the realization was enough to shake her out of her stupor.
“Oh, oh em gee!” she cried, as if waking from sleep herself. Big Mac stirred and blinked at her.
“We’re never going to finish setting up if we keep letting ourselves get distracted!” she admonished, staggering to her feet.
Her motor control was still cruising on a sea of endorphins and it took her a few tries to stand upright. Big Mac caught her chest with his nose before she fell again and held her steady until her brain got back from vacation… or at least until it got its sea legs.
This kind of thing had been going on all week. Between the two of them it was a miracle they’d ever left Twilight’s bedroom at all. Big Mac hadn’t lost his virginity until well into his adulthood and seemed more than eager to make up for lost time. It was a testimony to Twilight’s extraordinary wellspring of hidden power that she was able to keep up. For her own part, Twilight threw herself into their relations with a gusto that Big Mac found both exhilarating and slightly terrifying. Nobody does the worm like a bookworm.
“I can’t wait to find out what spell I used to transform Rainbow into a stallion,” said Twilight “Whatever it was must have been really potent if Princess Celestia herself couldn’t break it.”
Big Mac grunted in agreement as he pushed the heavy base of her new Thaumascope into the center of the room so they could start putting it together.
“A stable gender-swap spell is almost impossible to pull off. Only a few ponies in the world have ever been able to manage it,” she explained.
“I wonder if it was Starswirl’s Scintillating Sex Change,” Twilight mused “Or maybe Rubilax’s Ribald Regendering. I’m gonna go ahead and rule out Clover’s Climactic Contrapositioner as it usually produces more… exaggerated features in stallions, but it could be some modified version…”
“Maybe it was Twilight’s Tittilating Trans-Sexualizer,” Big Mac smirked down at her from beneath heavy-lidded eyes. She snorted and gave him a playful bat with her hoof.
“Not likely… Though if it were an original composition…” her expression turned wistful.
She turned back to him.
“You know I actually do have a spell named after me published in The Modern Magician’s Expanded Spell Index?” Twilight puffed out her chest with pride.
Big Mac shook his head. He didn’t know that.
“Twilight’s Terrific Text-Tamer,” she smiled “It’s a sorting spell I invented it to help with a research project I had back in fourth grade. I’d pulled too many reference materials and it was impossible to keep them all straight. I couldn’t find a suitable spell so I just made up my own. I didn’t know I was doing anything revolutionary, but it totally blew my professors’ minds when they saw it in action. Every library and archive in Equestria uses it now.”
Big Mac nodded his head, impressed.
“Yer awful clever,” he smiled.
Twilight’s pride deflated a little.
“I’m going to have to do better than clever if I want to fix Rainbow Dash,” she sighed “I composed a nifty book-sorting spell, but Princess Celestia and Luna are in a whole ‘nother league. I dunno if I can succeed where my own mentor failed.”
Big Mac nuzzled her chin.
“Maybe Celestia is in a whole ‘nother league, but when she got stumped, she turned to you,” he said.
Twilight chuckled, but his words warmed her and she returned to setting up the Thaumascope with renewed enthusiasm.


***

Fluttershy flitted frantically through her cottage, peering under sofa cushions and behind chairs to make sure she didn’t leave out a single smutty scrap of her burgeoning collection of erotic magazines and photographs. Rainbow Dash was coming over and she didn’t want him to get a bad first impression…
What was she thinking? First impression. She’d known Rainbow Dash for years! They were best friends! Closer than sisters.
So why did this feel like a first date?
When she’d learned about Rainbow’s true feelings for her, she’d been so touched and flattered that she would have given anything to be able to make her friend happy in that way. Unfortunately, wish as she might, Fluttershy couldn’t force herself to like mares any more than Rainbow had been able to make herself like stallions. In the end, Rainbow had given up and turned to Applejack for the companionship she couldn’t find in Fluttershy.
Fluttershy wasn’t too clear on what had gone on between Rainbow Dash and Applejack. She had a vague notion that something had happened, but the two almost seemed to be avoiding each other now, so whatever it was couldn’t have been that serious, could it?
Fluttershy hoped not. She couldn’t bear to compete with Applejack for Rainbow’s affections. It just wouldn’t be fair. Rainbow Dash had been obsessed with Fluttershy since foalhood, what chance did newcomer Applejack have? She loved Applejack, too, and wouldn’t do anything that would result in her feelings getting hurt.
Anyway, there was no point in worrying herself with such thoughts. This wasn’t a date. She’d turned Rainbow Dash down, after all.
Then again…
She’d only turned Rainbow down because she was a mare. If Rainbow Dash had been a stallion all along, wouldn’t they already have been dating?
Fluttershy pondered what might have been (and what might be) as she finished tidying up her house. She put a flower in her mane and checked her tail in the mirror. Just because it was only a friend coming over didn’t mean she couldn’t look nice.


The end of part 2…


To be continued…