We realized we couldn't leave James alone, not in that state, so eventually we settled on a schedule that ensured one of us could be present if he woke up. I drew the short straw, and groaned at my bad luck. As itchy as I was to spread my wings during the quiet, dark hours of the night, when no one was watching, I had to watch my brother through the first shift. It was a rare opportunity with Supreme Buzz-Kill out cold and unable to tell me off for the risk, but that's life. At least I got a pity-meal out of that; Mary's first aborted attempt led into a much nicer second, and I had no idea kale, spinach and mushrooms could taste so good. We ate a small meal together, trying to chat about inconsequential things, but she soon had to get to bed – she'd need to wake up in a few hours to watch James in the early morning shift. I sighed, and settled in for a long night.
Watching television was, naturally, a real chore; controllers designed for hands simply did not work well with hooves. I eventually managed to open the Youtube app and settled in for a long documentary on aeronautics. It wasn't my usual choice, but for obvious reasons I was drawn to it. Besides, perhaps I'd be able to apply some of it to my own flying techniques.
My mind wandered as I relaxed and watched, thinking about the future. I was mostly over the shock of realizing I actually was some sort of alien pony-creature, rather than just turning into one. I had almost been expecting some sort of weirdness after the physical changes started, and it was almost a relief that it was something that was supposed to be happening to me rather than a virus or mutation or something worse. But, where did that leave me? Apparently, Soarin was some sort of aerial acrobat in Equestria, the local equivalent of the Blue Angels. That was cool, I guessed, but I couldn't really pursue that sort of job until the world had adjusted to our existence – shoot, even I hadn't completely adjusted yet. It would take time, if it happened ever. At least I was reasonably knowledgeable about survivalist techniques, if it came down to that. Come to think about it, it made sense that I was attracted to it; the freedom afforded by living off the land and being free from society was similar to the freedom of flying through the air, unshackled from the ground and able to go where I wished...
I was broke from my thoughts as something moved. My brother shifted on the couch, upsetting a few cushions, and moaned in his sleep – or was it more like a coma? 'And what about him?' I wondered. I'd been trying not to think about what all this meant for James. I somehow doubted that the rest of the world would accept him as easily as they would accept ponies like himself and Cadance, especially not if they knew who he was. Technicolor ponies with soft fur and big eyes could feasibly play on the public's 'daaaw' factor; James, however...
Another thought occurred to me, one that was altogether more chilling. I took for granted the fact that Luna would do as she said, and 'preserve his mind', or however she put it – that is, make sure he stayed his old, grumpy self. But what if she couldn't? Or what if something went wrong? My wings spread on their own in an instinctive flight response, the unicorn on the couch seeming a great deal more sinister than he had a moment prior. What if...
What if it woke up, and it wasn't my brother anymore?
I shivered, adrenaline pumping through my system as I quietly made my way to the hall, intending to wake Mary up and flee the moment they saw anything but James staring back at them. 'Well,' I thought dourly, at least I won't have any problems staying awake tonight!'
***
Mary stood beside me, silent, as we watched the unicorn slumber upon the couch. She hadn't said a word after she left the room, but shared the same fear, and for a long time we stood there, tense and terrified, in the darkness. Despite my earlier confidence that I would watch the unicorn like a hawk the whole night through, I soon found it hard to keep my eyes open; one can only be terrified of a peacefully sleeping lump for so long before the fear fades away to sleepy boredom. At some point I did, indeed, fall asleep standing – I did not know when or how long – only to wake with a sudden start when something disturbed me.
I peered through the gloom, half expecting to see a pair of eyes staring back, full of inhuman and inhumane malevolence, but the unicorn still seemed to be asleep.
And then it moved.
I nearly jumped out of my skin when it reached out a hoof, clumsily grabbing a pillow and pulling it into its barrel, and shifted with a snort and grunt.
I was no longer sleepy. I watched him carefully, my whole body taut once more as I prepared to bolt, but the creature sleeping on the couch didn't make another move. Something seemed... Odd. Its movements were too fluid, too natural; it didn't seem like the twitching earlier, but more like a creature truly asleep. Whatever had been happening to my brother – to it, I reminded myself, we didn't know if it was still my brother – appeared to be over. Whoever or whatever it was, it was still asleep.
I still wasn't safe, then; for all I knew, it could still wake up as James or as something else entirely. If I could get the drop on it, though... Yes. I had a plan.
I gently nudged Mary, who had fallen asleep beside me. “Wassat? Whosamatter?” she asked incoherently, blinking the sleep from her eyes and yawning prodigiously. Any other time he would have found her confused grunts and other noises adorable, but he was too on-edge to notice. Instead, clapped a hoof over her mouth, trying to keep her quiet, and made a shushing noise. I pointed a hoof ominously at the sleeping form, and she nodded grimly. I bent in, whispering softly, what I intended to do.
She didn't like the plan, but she couldn't see an alternative; they couldn't abandon the real James, but if James was gone they'd need to leave as quickly as possible. “Okay... You're more familiar with him than I am, so you'll need to give the signal.”
I gulped and nodded nervously, and silentky made my way back to the sleeping form on the couch. Fortunately, I knew a surefire method to tell if it was my brother or not. I fumbled with the remote, scrolling through the recorded shows until I found it. It was an old re-run, but it would do the job. I turned up the volume and hit 'play'...
Theme music played for several long seconds, and the sleeping unicorn shifted. The audience cheered as the camera panned to a familiar, grinning face. “-Welcome to the Daily Show, I'm Jon Stewart!” More applause, and the unicorn groaned and squeezed a pillow around his ears. “Today's guest is...”
“Turn that garbage off!” James growled grumpily, his voice low and slurred with sleep. “Dun wanna listen to tha' idiot...”
I sighed with relief, hitting the power button. “Yeah, that's him alright,” I said, chuckling softly as I relaxed. I set the remote down and yawned, finally at ease. “I don't think we need to watch over him any more – whatever happened seems to be over, and he's just sleeping now.” My voice was still hushed, but it was apparently still loud enough to make James groan and squeeze the pillow even tighter. I down comfortably on the recliner and relaxed, intent on getting what shuteye I could
Mary stood where she was for a moment longer, confused. “What's wrong with John Stewart?” she wondered, then shook her head and went back to her room.
***
I woke up gradually, the prior night's experiences gradually filling my thoughts. For a long time I just laid there, pretending to be asleep – how could I face my family and friends, knowing what I'd done before? It seemed impossible. Images of my worst moments kept flashing through my mind's eye, even as I resolutely pushed them away. Once again, I found that trying not to think about something was proving all but impossible. 'Pink elephant' indeed – I couldn't try to not think about it, I had to actively do something else. With a sigh, I stood up and made my way to the kitchen. I would simply pretend nothing was wrong, that last night hadn't happened, and go about my usual routine. That would help clear my head, I was sure. Besides, breakfast was on the stove, and I was ravenous.
The other two were already at the table, chatting, but that stopped the moment they heard my approach. I pretended not to notice as I levitated the ladle out of the simmering pot and a fresh bowl out of the cupboard, and poured myself some hot oatmeal. I focused on the task, embracing the perfectionist in me as I carefully added just the right amount of brown sugar and milk. There was no protein in the meal, so I even started grilling up some bacon. Taboo in Equestria, naturally – illegal to kill a sapient being, after all. Like dragons. Dragons begged for mercy, after all, and – no, don't think about that. It was just bacon. Delicious, crispy bacon. I wondered if I could cook them to just the right blend of crispy and tender-
“Hey, you seem to be a lot better at that levitation stuff. Is that what you learned last n-mrph!”
I turned my head to see my brother, apparently confused by the spoonful of oatmeal stuffed into his mouth, and Mary's horn dimming. “You must have been practicing,” she hastily amended.
My eye twitched involuntarily. I hastily turned away, ignoring her entirely unconvincing smile and Luke's sour muttering, and focused attention back on cooking. The rashers sizzled and smelled exceptional, and soon I had them draining their excess grease into a paper towel. A bowl of oatmeal, its flavors balanced to his liking, sat next to it. I liked things neat and orderly, just like my City had been, without any possible voice of dissent, an entire city of slaves bound to my will, serving me – no. Just food, it was just food, there was nothing wrong with a tidy plate. Everything was fine.
I settled at the table, taking up one of the four free chairs, and conversationally asked, “So, any plans for the day?”
They glanced at one another, seemingly put off by my casual attitude. “Err... We were going to pack,” they said awkwardly.
Oh. Right. We had to leave, didn't we; we couldn't stay in that house forever. Banished from our homes in disgrace to live in the desolate north – no. We just had to leave. Another eye-twitch. I plastered a smile on my face. Everything was okay. “Right – forgot.” I could work with that. “Well, we'll need medicines and other supplies, won't we? At least we won't have to pack clothes.” I forced a chuckle I didn't feel, only petering to a halt when the other two failed to join and exchanged nervous glances. “What?” I asked slowly, my forced cheer gone.
“...Really, are you alright? I can understand if you need-” Mary began, but I cut her off.
“I'm fine,” I said shortly, and continued – everything was, after all, okay. I just had to keep talking, planning, and working. That's all. “We'll definitely need some sort of antibiotics in case one of us is injured – Luke, you probably know more about that, I'd appreciate it if you drew up a list. In fact, you probably know more about the camping equipment we need, you should handle that too. Cadance-” Twitch twitch. Everything was normal, everything was fine. “...Sorry, Mary, I'd like to run some drills with you, you're woefully out of practice with even basic magical technique. I can teach you the fundamental theories and we can go from there. I know you specialize in some sort of love-based magic, but it couldn't hurt to learn Order as well. If we hurry-” I continued to talk, faster and faster, but that was okay, everything was okay.
“Dude, chill. You're freaking out.” Luke rustled his wings and maintained a stoic expression, but shook his head and plowed on. “Look, we don't know what all that was about last night, but we'll understand if you need a few days.”
Everything was okay.
I took a deep breath, but it hitched in my throat. They were too kind to me, just like Celestia was. Celestia, pinned to the ground and pierced by a thousand shards of crystal, trapped in her own mind by horrors only she could see-
No. Everything was okay. I just had to focus – after all, we were just planning, right? Just planning. I could plan. They didn't know what happened, and they didn't need to. They were completely innocent, and didn't need to be subjected to what I'd done. The little colt didn't know what was happening either, not when I'd forced his own mother to strangle him-
Everything was okay. Everything was okay.
...Everything was not fucking okay.
I froze, panic setting in as I looked between the two. In a flash of ghostly white light, I was gone.
***
“...That could have gone better.”
I looked down at the spot where my friend had disappeared, sighing and massaging my head. If I was honest with myself, I shouldn't expected it to end much differently; I could practically feel the unease and guilt warring in him, but he kept pushing himself to act like everything was normal. Whatever had happened to him, it'd taken a heavy toll.
I ate the rest of my meal, frowning to myself the whole while, deep in thought. If he'd been another woman – mare, I corrected myself – it would have been a no-brainer. Perhaps a day at the spa to unwind, or some time with Ben and Jerry and a romantic comedy on the TV, would have done the trick. But men were an enigma in that regard. Not for the first time, I wondering why men so emotionally closed-off. I was out of my element. 'Think!' I told myself. 'How would he handle a major shock? Something that turned his life entirely upside-down...
I looked up only to see Luke already eating with gusto, clearly having dismissed the incident. He wasn't worried in the least, completely at ease, not even bothered by having to use his hooves, or by the wings sprouting from his back. Come to think of it, not even James was very bothered by his form – they were both adjusting well, possibly better than I was.
I narrowed my eyes, hoping I was onto something. “Hey, Luke? You guys freaked out a bit when you were first changing, yes?” I asked innocently.
He snorted, smirking as he swallowed his bite of oatmeal. “Oh, yeah – that was pretty hilarious, in hindsight. I didn't think it was possible to reach that pitch.”
I nodded. “And what did you two do that night? Was it an otherwise normal night, ooor...”
He snickered and laughed, only to cock his head in confusion at the look she gave him. “Oh, you're serious? Er... No. No, we had a few drinks – alright, more than a few, we were pretty sloshed – played some games. I definitely won, by the way, but he'll never admit it.”
I nodded, considering. I had my own little rituals, did I not? No matter the ritual, they were all for the same purpose; they created a safe and comfortable environment, one where me and my friends could talk freely. It stood to reason that guys would have rituals of their own, entirely different in form and structure, but ultimately for the same purpose. Unfortunately, I realized, that would likely not involve me, just as trips to the spa did not generally involve guy-friends. Even though I couldn't participate, however, I could help set it up. “Right,” I said, nodding and pulling a pad of paper towards me and awkwardly starting a list – I still wasn't used to hooves and telekinesis. “What's your parent's number? I need to call them.”
Luke blanched at the thought. “What? No! No, he wouldn't like that at all, I think the fewer people who knew, the better-”
I chuckled, shaking my head. “Not about that, silly! I need them to bring over your games and stuff, and some drinks.”
Luke cocked his head, confused for a moment, but then it finally dawned on him. “Ooooooh. Right. Okay, yeah, that makes sense. Let's see...”
He scooted to my side of the table as we brainstormed. I kept pushing for more bells and whistles while he insisted on simplicity, but ultimately left it to him; it was, after all, his party.
***
I was alone. That was okay; I needed a bit of time alone. I doubted the others would approve or even understand, but it was the best and only idea I had.
I hated myself. I had to vent that hate.
After making sure there was no one nearby for miles, I got to work. It would get noisy. That was also okay; I didn't mind the noise. The abandoned quarry was perfect for what I intended. I placed my hooves firmly on the hard-packed dirt, my horn glowing with power as I levitated several large rocks into a loose shape. That done, I focused on the Order within the stones and told them to reassemble into a more regular shape, to crystallize and grow into the form I desired. They obeyed me with surprising alacrity and ease; though I was badly out of practice, the rock amalgamated and crystallize into the rough shape of a unicorn. The only thing that distinguished it from other unicorns was the wickedly curved horn standing proudly upon its head.
I nodded grimly as I looked over my work – it would do.
'This is stupid,' a part of me thought tiredly. I could not disagree. Stupid as it was, though, I wanted to do it. I needed to do it. I thought back, closing my eyes. It hurt. I pressed on, and gradually relaxed.
“Why didn't you come clean?” I finally muttered. “Why did you listen to him? You could have gone to the Princesses and told them what happened, they were always looking for your best interests. They would have understood. But, no; you listened to a monster, one that wanted to destroy you and everything you worked for... Idiot!”
It was awkward at first, talking to a pile of unicorn-shaped rubble, but it grew easier as I continued. I trotted forward and kicked it with a hoof, glaring at it with disgust. It wobbled, but did not fall. “You were too proud, that's what you were. You didn't want to admit they were right when they banished you, and you weren't willing to go to them when you needed help. You were just too damn full of yourself. What? Nothing to say?” I growled, my horn flashing as I gave the statue a mental push. It skidded across the stone several feet before toppling over, one of its legs breaking off with a dry crack. It wasn't enough.
“What the FUCK were you thinking?!” I snarled. “Oh, wait, I know what you were thinking – I was there! Alright; maybe the Duchess deserved what happened to her. Let's put that on the backburner for now.” I stomped towards the fallen statue with growing determination; the voice that insisted I was being silly had fallen blessedly silent. “What about the guards?” I snorted with growing anger. “What about the business owners, or the journalists, or the ponies that dared to stand up to you? What about the stallions, mares, and foals who’s LIVES you took away, forcing them to serve you? Did THEY deserve it, huh? HUH!?” I gritted my teeth, focusing my will as I put enough kinetic energy into the stone effigy to blast it clear across the quarry. It cracked to pieces upon the far wall, but I was right next to it after the rubble settled – blink, and I was there. I paused only to force the pieces back into shape before continuing.
“What about the dragon?!” I shouted, my horn glowing brightly. “He was a whelp – barely more than a hatchling! You killed him! He was already crippled, he'd never fly again! You killed a crippled child, you heartless bastard!” Fire lanced from my horn, blackening the hard surface. It started to crackle and pop from heat shock and trapped moisture, but I didn't relent.
“And what about Celestia?” I hissed. “The mare who practically raised you? Did you feel even a moment of guilt, a moment's hesitation? No! You only cared about yourself! You were too afraid to die, and you didn't care who you hurt to get what you wanted!” I was forced to step back as molten rock started to pool below the melting statue, but I wasn't done.
“Everyone else was just a tool to you, weren't they?” I shouted, pouring my anger into the spell. What I'd done in the backyard of Mary's house was crude and inefficient; I had centuries of terrible experience and hated knowledge to draw on. “Answer me you fucker! Name one time you cared about anyone but yourself! ONE TIME you valued THEIR well-being over your own! Oh, not once? BIG FUCKING SURPRISE!”
I panted, running out of words, but continued to blast it with searing fire even after it was an unrecognizable puddle of slag. Even then I did not stop; I continued to burn it away powdery tracks of salt began to appear beneath my eyes, the remnants of tears blasted away by the heat. I only ceased when I couldn't maintain the power any longer, and collapsed. Nothing was alright, I thought, squeezing my eyes shut and sobbing in earnest, my eyes still stinging from the roiling heat. It didn't feel like anything would be alright for a long, long time.
Hours passed. At some point I climbed to my hooves – I don't remember when. Night was beginning to fall. With a guilty jolt, I realized that Mary and Luke were probably worrying about me. I'd gone off without a word or warning; once again, I'd only thought about myself. I hoped they weren't too worried. Even if they weren't, though, I needed to get back and... And apologize. Yes. I needed to apologize to them.
I looked about, and frowned at the molten crater. It wouldn't do to leave things like that; the quarry was abandoned, but that puddle of molten rock wouldn't cool for days, perhaps weeks. Someone could come by in the meantime and get hurt – the last thing I wanted was one more poor choice weighing me down with guilt. I stood back, concentrating on the wall of earth above it, and buried it in what I hoped would be mistaken for a rock-slide. That done, I closed his eyes and concentrated on Mary's backyard...
***
“What'd you tell your parents?” Mary asked, cocking her head curiously.
I just waved a hoof. “I just told them James had a bit of a breakdown from everything that's been happening. Which, well – technically true,” I said easily, carefully pouring a bag of ice into the waiting ice bucket. I had to be careful not to knock down the wide array of drinks arranged around said bucket; we had everything from brandy to vodka, and even a few things for mixers. “I didn't say anything about, well, what we are, you know? That would probably just complicate things.” I shook my head and smiled wryly – and immediately regretted it as I spilled a small shower of ice onto the table. I yelped in surprise, carefully trying to shore up the rest of it, before continuing. “I might have come from magical pony land, but as far as I'm concerned I'm still me, and they're still my parents.” I set the bag aside and settled on the couch, awkwardly fiddling with a game controller until I managed to power on the system. “I'm just worried about how we'll handle the controllers – I don't exactly have fingers and thumbs anymore.”
“Don't worry,” she chuckled, “I'm sure you'll both suck equally bad.” There were two pizzas waiting nearby – one sausage and black olive, the other mushroom and pineapple – but that was the extent of the vittles. Beyond that, the purpose of the night was to get so drunk that tongues wagged and hearts eased. Luke was already nursing a drink, wanting to get a mild buzz in preparation, and was trying (and failing) to make it through the single-player campaign to get used to his new 'no finger' setup. Mary went to her room soon after, apparently deciding not to join us. It might have been nice to have her, but I supposed she wasn't much for videogames and hard liquor.
I was making slow progress in the single-player campaign. I even had to bump it down to normal difficulty until I could 'get gud' again, and suspected there would be few headshots in my future. I was only halfway through the first level when there was a flash like a breaking light-bulb from the kitchen. I didn't look up from the game, though; I kept my eyes fixed on the screen, and only gave my brother a lazy wave as he trudged past. A minute later I heard the shower running, and briefly wondered what James had been up to that he needed one. A macabre thought occurred to me, and before I realized it I was hastily scanning the floor, expecting a trail of blood and gore. There was nothing to see, however; I was jumping at ghosts. I only caught a whiff of singed fur and dust, and perhaps something like hot metal – odd, but far from ominous.
I shook my head, clearing it of the paranoid thoughts. James was still James, even if he was occasionally an asshole. Indeed, James was James precisely because he was an asshole. I snickered at the thought, filing it away for later ribbing, and continued to pass the time with the game. There was nothing to do but wait; the bait was laid and the trap was set. Some time later James trudged out of the shower, but I kept my eyes fixed on the screen and kept playing. Almost there...
James took the bait. Soft hoofsteps approached, and then came a cautious sniff. “Pizza?” the unicorn asked. “And... Is that rum?”
I only nodded and took a sip of my own drink, still playing. There was another controller waiting on the far side of the couch.
My brother stood there for several long moments, looking around cautiously like a wary animal, but still I kept playing. 'Don't freak him out like you did this morning,' I admonished myself. Any moment...
There. James finally sat down, already adding a few ice cubes to a fresh glass and pouring rum over them. “Thanks,” he muttered, awkwardly picking up his own controller.
The game pinged. “Player 2 has entered the game,” it said in a synthesized voice. I smiled. Hook, line, and sinker.
***
Two pizzas and most of the remaining rum later, the game had devolved into an attempt to see who could fling their body the farthest post-mortem. So far, the winning combination involved several explosives and a vehicle. I may or not have been 'assisting' my brother in that particular aspect.
“Asshole!” he snickered, rustling his wings in excitement as his in-game body performing an oddly graceful cartwheel as it careened across the sky. Apparently, landmines were more effective than the more usual explosives. I giggled evilly and spawned several more in.
“Hang on, hang on,” I said, jostling him with a hoof, “lemme get this set up – I wanna see how high the skybox is...” It was time to science.
As it turned out, the skybox wasn't very high at all. The detonation sent the vehicle (or, at least, what remained of it) almost straight into the air, and it bounced an impressive number of times between the invisible ceiling and ground before coming to a rest on the other side of the map. We watched in silent amusement the entire time it bounced, before finally breaking out into another fit of laughter as it settled in a ditch.
Luke struggled to speak through the laughter, and somehow managed it. “...Well, you know what that means,” he snickered, trying and failing to not to fall over. “More dakka!”
I was never one to disagree with 'more dakka', but... “When do we stop, though?” We had to stick to the scientific rigors; after all, how could we reproduce the results unless we knew it was a 'fuckton' or 'metric fuckton' of high explosives?
He grinned in a way that would get a soldier in any real war put on permanent medical leave. “Well, how many can the system handle? Once it starts to lag, we'll know.”
I could not argue with that logic – possibly because the empty bottle of rum was my doing.
We got to work. I wasn't sure it was even possible to lay enough mines to lag the system, not in any reasonable amount of time. After fifteen minutes, however, things seemed to be slowing down. Five minutes past that and the framerate was starting to stutter. Not long after that it started getting too hard to lay down mines. “Think that's enough?” I asked, slowly turning my character around, the frame-rate somewhere below ten fps.
He grinned and nodded, placing a single remote explosive and climbing in. I followed suit, sans the mine. “For 'Merica!” he snickered. I rolled my eyes and shoved him as he pressed the trigger.
Unfortunately, while a few hundred mines could be rendered fairly easily, the system had significantly more trouble rendering the resulting explosions. Our characters, of course, died; little did I know that the grievous sins they committed in life would condemn them to geometry hell. We waited almost a full minute while the machine chugged along, giving us an occasional snapshot of something more befitting an Escher painting, when things finally returned to normal. We both burst out laughing when we saw the results of our experiment; our characters' bodies were stretched to ridiculous portions, the various pieces scattered across the map without rhyme or reason, but still connected by some sort of hyper-stretched textures. The resulting circus-tent effect only became funnier as we looked it over from different angles.
Once we'd had our fill of that particular Cronenberg mess, we finally shut off the console. It was late, and we were both tired – besides, we'd ran out of ideas for competitions or experiments. Luke made his way unsteadily to the recliner, while I spread out across the couch. There was no way either of us would make it to our designated beds, not in our states. I focused, careful to restrict the power, and gently turned off the lights as we settled in for the night.
“That was fun,” I managed to mumble, clumsily flipping a throw-pillow over so I could rest on its cool side. It really had been a fun night, more fun than I'd had since the mess had begun – much better than the preceding day. Then a question popped into my head, unannounced and uninvited. It was a question I'd resolutely ignored when it first occurred to me. The drinks, the pizza, the game-night... He'd apparently set it up just for me. “Why'd ya do all that?” I mumbled, some of my melancholy from earlier returning.
“Do all what?” His voice was muffled – he was probably speaking through a pillow.
I grunted, rolling my eyes, but found myself unable to get too annoyed. “All that rum and pizza and stuff – that was for me, wasn't it?”
He sighed, rolling over. “Hey, I wanted to have a good time. Are you complaining?”
“No,” I muttered. “...But, would you have done all that if I was doing alright?” It was easier to say it than before, at least.
“...No,” he admitted after an uncomfortable pause. “So what? You're my brother.”
I thought about that for several long moments. “But... But what if I'm not?” I'd said it without thinking, but it was too late. It was out in the open.
To his credit, he didn't miss a beat. “Uh huh. We share the same mom and dad, don't we?”
“Yes, but-”
He plowed on, as only a drunk person can. “Then we're at least siblings – so unless these transformations also caused some sort of horrible downstairs mixup,” he snickered at his own wit, “you also belong to subset 'brother'. I'd have thought a computer nerd could figure that out.”
I ignored his jibe, the thought still gnawing at me. “You barely know me, though!” I grumbled, starting to get annoyed. Why was he so glib about it? “You don't know anything about what I've done!”
He just snickered – the transformations hadn't changed his joy for needling me one bit. “Oh yeah? What'd you do in Pretty Pony Princess land?” he asked. “Did you steal forty cakes? I hear stealing forty cakes is terrible in certain jurisdictions,” he finished.
It's hard to control your impulses when you're drunk, and out of deeply ingrained habit I had to argue with him and prove him wrong. “I tried to kill Celestia,” I blurted out. Momentarily emboldened, I decided to go for broke. “Luna, too.”
He whistled, then was silent for a moment. “Wow. Alright, so that's a thing.” Then he broke into another fit of giggles. “Holy shit, no wonder she was so pissed to see you!”
I threw a pillow at him, but it only made him laugh harder. Still... It didn't feel so bad, if he was laughing at it too.
When he finally stopped, he just shook his head. “Look, you're my brother even if you are total asshole,” he said, his speech only slightly slurred. “And Mary? She's your friend, even if you're an asshole to her too. Bottom line, you're an asshole.” He paused. “No. Wait. Yes, you're an asshole, but that's not the bottom line.” He seemed to think for a moment before continuing, this time sighing. “If you tell anyone I said this, I swear I'll dump your computer in the pool. But... We'll be there for you, even when you're an asshole – so you can't run off like that anymore. I was – err, Mary was a little worried.” He coughed, growling as I snickered, but pressed on. “I don't care what you did before; as far as I'm concerned, you're my brother. No matter what. You're an asshole, but you're OUR asshole.”
“...Shit, I wish I'd recorded that,” I snickered. It was my turn to get a pillow to the face.
“Asshole,” he grumbled.
Giggling drunkenly to myself, I relaxed on the couch and stared at the darkened ceiling. It still wasn't pleasant to think about everything I'd done – indeed, some things were outright painful to remember, and probably would be for the rest of my life – but it wasn't debilitating. Besides, I had something at that moment that I didn't have in Equestria, and it would make all the difference if there was any truth to the MLP:FIM franchise. I knew my family and friends would always be there for me. Even if I was an asshole. With a contented sigh, I closed my eyes and fell asleep.
***
I won't say it wasn't awkward at the breakfast table; it was, however, a distinct improvement over the previous day. Without me having a breakdown and the other two having to pick up the pieces, we actually started to get things done. It probably didn't hurt that I'd stopped fighting to be the 'leader' by bullying the other two into following me. In fact, it was almost relaxing to take the 'back seat' for once.
“I'm just glad we can get most of the missing stuff from the veterinary supply store,” Luke said, perusing his own list. He was in charge of the medical side of things, and that combined with his survivalist bent gave him a thorough knowledge of... well, 'alternative' resources. It wasn't legal to buy black-market antibiotics, no; it was perfectly legal, however, to buy antibiotics for your horses. We just happened to be those horses. Other items we already had on-hoof, or at our own house – our parents had been nice enough to drive his car over, and the emergency kit in the back had a good deal of what we needed. He went through each of the items, crossing them off the list as he catalogued them.
Mary was busy cross-checking what he had online, making sure it was at least safe for horses. A few things already had to be discarded; while it was perfectly safe for human bodies, they were toxic to most other animals. Fortunately, the same websites that listed certain ingredients as unsafe for equines usually listed replacements, so most of the items crossed off were filled in with something else.
And I... Well, I didn't quite know what to do. Ostensibly, I was supposed to be working on the food situation, but that was essentially taken care of; I already had a list of edible flowers and plants common to the region, and we had enough oatmeal to flesh out our meals. There were even a few bags of dried fruits in case of emergency, though I didn't expect it would get that desperate. I'd need to supplement my own meals with protein and occasionally minerals, but that would be easy; I'd already done it before, though I had been half-mad at the time and holed up in a cave...
No. I'd be fine. Worst case, I'd need to purify any of the rough and raw crystals myself, if I came across them; the years spent holed up in a cave taught me how to detect nearby veins. It wouldn't hurt to stock up, though, especially on other gemstones. Quartz and other silica-based minerals formed the basis of my diet, but I'd still need others to replenish vital nutrients – aluminum and iron being the biggest ones, but titanium, zinc, and even a bit of chromium were necessary for good health. And, just like humans, I couldn't digest a lump of potassium metal to get my daily intake. No, I needed them in a regular crystal formation – and the purer the better, just as linked sugars as a starch were healthier than simple sugars in aggregate.
Fortunately, I had magic on my side. While dragons had historically raided others (particularly Diamond Dogs) for what they needed, I could fabricate it instead. It'd worked in Equestria, after all; weeks of trial and error in that cave had allowed me to purify what I needed from the available materials. Even so, it would be foolish to be caught in the wilderness, starving, only to find that what worked in Equestria didn't work on Earth. Only one thing for it, I thought, and started concentrating.
The sight of my horn glowing clearly startled the other two, and I stopped out of sheer confusion. Why were they... Oh. I blushed sheepishly, realizing that I was once again going to leave without a word. “Sorry,” I mumbled. “I just need to check something – I'll be back in an hour or so. I'll be fine, and I'll stay out of sight.”
They exchanged a confused look, shrugged, and nodded before going back to work. I disappeared a moment later.
***
The quarry was in the same state as I'd left it. There were no warning markers around the landslide I'd created, so I probably had nothing to fear from prying eyes. The place had run dry for commercial prospects, but any amateur gemologists looking for quartz and its derivatives could have a literal field-day. I thought back to my days spent in that cave in Equestria, trying to remember exactly how I did it, and found it to be relatively simple. The spell was essentially magical sonar attuned to Order; less regular and uniform mineral composites would mostly absorb the excess Order and reflect very little back. The larger and more developed, however, would absorb and resonate with the Order before emitting it in all directions for several moments after. If I 'listened' closely, I could even get an idea of what kind of crystal it was based on the returning pattern. It was simple enough, so I set out and started a methodical search, spiraling out from a starting point so I wouldn't miss anything.
The first several attempts didn't seem to yield much; I heard a dim ringing from the second one, but pulling it up out of the dirt revealed only a low quality chunk of milky quartz. 'I can find better specimens in Mary's garden,' I thought, casting it aside. On the fourth, however, I detected a much stronger, clearer signal returning. It's 'tone' was similar to the milky quartz I'd heard moments before, but higher pitched. Intrigued, I drew it up out of the ground...
It was dirty, that was to be expected. It didn't even look like much; if I was to guess, the crystals inside had already formed before being pushed into the new amalgamation and cemented together by the material around it. It would suffice for a test run, at least. I got to work.
Breaking it open was simple enough. While rock had amazing compression strength, its tensile strength was markedly low. Since a telekinetic grip could work in any direction, I focused on a fissure and simply pulled outwards. Inside was...
“...Well, that's nice, but not exactly what I came here for...”
I was wrong; it wasn't made of bastard material, it was a fully fledged quartz geode. I grimaced; breaking it open as I had was probably the worst thing you could do to a geode. It should have been cut by a professional. Worse, the material inside was already too pure for me to work work; I couldn't refine it further, it was entirely edible already.
I shook my head in disappointment and set the geode aside for later before continuing my search. I should have checked it before breaking it open, I realized, the same way I had when I lived in that cave. Doing so would have given me a much clearer indication of what was inside without the dirt obscuring the signal.
I was too hesitant to look through those memories, I realized, picking the next spot. If I was going to avoid mistakes like that – and when it came to magic, that was one of the less costly mistakes to make – I would need to face them in their entirety, and not shy away when they hurt. If I didn't, well... Someone else might get hurt instead. I didn't want to be responsible for that, especially if it hurt someone I cared about. I gulped, sitting down and going back over what I remembered, forcing myself to confront the memory.
'How had he done it?' I wondered. He needed a specific material, he had been starving for it... Aluminum oxide in its sapphire form. It simply wasn't common in the area around his cave, unfortunately for him. He'd known enough of the material to realize it was something like other forms of metals bound up in crystal – aluminum oxide, he abruptly remembered in the memory. He had some scrap aluminum laying about, fortunately; turning it into sapphire, however, was a different story.
I blinked. It was a detour, but it seemed useful; I wasn't certain how I'd get my hooves on sapphire either, so it could be invaluable knowledge. He had known that sapphire was a simple molecule, a combination of aluminum and oxygen; from there, it was a matter of attempting to force them to react and organize into a crystal. He still needed pure oxygen, however, and Order magic was useful for that. He was able to force the air into its constituent parts, several shielded bubbles dividing in midair. He discarded the greater part of it as unreactive nitrogen. He likewise discarded the other, miniscule bubbles as worthless dross. The remaining bubble of oxygen, however, was insufficient; when he placed the aluminum scrap inside the bubble of air, it failed to react. He had not expected it to; aluminum was, as he recalled, relatively unreactive with the air due to a tiny protective oxide layer. So, he started to heat it. The surface began to collect a small amount of whitish residue, but it was insignificant. Even when fully melted, the specks material just floated to the surface; not only was it too slow, it wasn't combining into an actual crystal. That had frustrated him; it was too little, and he was growing desperate. He thought back to his first attempts at making crystals as a young colt – simple, foalish things, but crystals nevertheless. He had boiled sugar in a small pot, under the watchful eye of the kitchen's chefs, and added more and more sugar until it stopped dissolving. Then, carefully, he'd poured off all of the fluid while leaving the undissolved sugar crystals behind. Then – and this was the epiphany – he'd suspended a tiny seed crystal within the solution, and the sugar in solution had been drawn out and onto that seed. That could work, with some modification, but of course he needed a seed crystal. He ran back to his ill-gotten hoard, desperately searching, until he finally found a tiny sliver of one. It was far too small to eat, but so was the seed crystal. It could still work.
He carefully rested the tiny sapphire upon the molten surface of the aluminum, its opposite surface touching the oxygen. Then, carefully working out the intent of the spell, he infused the tiny shard of sapphire with massive amounts of Order magic to force the materials around it to crystallize into more sapphire, following the seed crystal's structure. It was magic-intensive, but it worked. The dragon in him would be satisfied by the now-digestible form of aluminum. He wouldn't starve in that cave, alone and forgotten...
“And nor will I,” I said aloud, nodding as I filed that memory away for later. The memories were unpleasant, full of evil and selfishness and pride. That, however, was irrelevant; if I wanted to help myself or others, I would have to accept what they had to teach – both what to do, and what not to do. I couldn't flinch away from them any longer.
***
I remained in the quarry for a short while thereafter, turning my attention back to quartz. As I expected, refining quartz into a purer form was a trivial task compared to the wholesale construction of sapphire from its basic elements. I was just there to make sure I could do it on a large enough scale to feed myself. I fished up another chunk, this one actually containing a conglomeration of disparate materials. By the time I'd finished with it, the base material had crumbled away to reveal a few large chunks of well-formed, exceptionally clear quartz crystal. I experimentally nibbled on one and nodded in satisfaction – it tasted fine to me, identical to a small fragment of the geode I'd sampled soon after. I still needed to replicate what I remembered with the sapphire crystal, but that would come later. In any case, I needed a seed crystal and some aluminum for that, and I didn't expect to find either in the quarry. Satisfied I'd done all I could there, I decided to leave early – quartz was abundantly common in nature anyway, so I would only need a small cache in case of emergency. I collected the refined crystals and the fractured geode, and concentrated on Mary's living room –
– And was promptly greeted by screams.
Perhaps I should have chosen a different place to teleport – my appearance could be disquieting at the best of times, especially if I catch the unlucky individual off-guard. In my defense, no one had told my my parents would be there; I belatedly realized they hadn't seen me since before the transformations even started.