//------------------------------// // The One and Only Princess Twilight // Story: Revenant // by Muramasa //------------------------------// Public speaking terrifies me. I was never, ever one to do it, though I've been told I'm extremely good at hiding it. It took about an hour for everypony to convince me to play Clover the Clever in the Hearth's Warming Eve play, and I was absolutely scared out of my mind the entire time I was doing it; thankfully, talking to some college students wasn't too bad, and I had done it before, albeit with a little interruption (Starlight jokingly asked if I'd like her to menacingly stare at me in the crowd during my speech for support). This time, though, the subject wasn't Friendship; it was a history lecture on Starswirl the Bearded. When Celestia first asked me to do it, I had refused her; there was a hesitance because of my fear of public speaking, but it was mainly because I felt that every mare and stallion at the school had to have been pelted with Starswirl day and night. She managed to convince me in two ways; one, by saying that I held a unique understanding of the stallion, having done what he could not, and two, by mentioning that both she and Luna would be making a speech as well. That, above everything, was what convinced me to do it. I was juggling my notecards with magic backstage; it was a nervous habit I had always been prone to. I don't know when I'd started it, but whenever I was nervous, I take an object and juggle it, watching the circle go around and around and around. My brother had tried to make me stop it when we were young, but obviously, his attempts were unsuccessful. I could hear Celestia ending her speech. I had proofread it for her (four times) and had thus memorized the entirety of the speech in question, and I followed along with it as she spoke in that graceful voice that could only belong to her. And that, my little ponies, is why this stallion was so important. We can learn from him in more ways than one. Not only was he a brilliant mind, his works on spell theory still relentlessly studied by all of you today, as I'm sure you'll know very well by now... as she had hoped, she got a chorus of laughs for the joke. ...but he was also a lonely stallion. A stallion that could not, and did not, understand the true power that friendship has. We can learn, this way, to not be like Starswirl, as preposterous as it sounds; he accomplished so much, but had he understood friendship, he could have accomplished so much more. To talk a little bit more about that, I'd like to introduce my former student, a very special mare; the one and only-- "Princess Twilight!" I heard as I came out from the curtain and on to the main stage. I was awarded with a chorus of clapping; I turned red very easily, I had been told, and I would bet a million bits I was blushing now. When I got to the podium Celestia had just left, I cleared my throat on the microphone, signaling for a halt of the cheers. I got what I wanted, and I took a look back at Luna and Celestia, who were standing on both sides of me at the back of the stage, before delivering my first line. Starlight had suggested that, to quell my nerves, I start off with a joke to lighten the mood. That's precisely what I did, and it was a joke that Starlight herself had written into my speech; she had also wrote many more of them in, arguing that it would make me more relatable. "What are you all doing here? You should be studying," I told the crowd, which got them laughing. I smiled at that; this was certainly going to be easier than I had imagined. I brought my notecards forward a bit on the podium. "Well, I suppose this counts. Okay, so we're going to talk about Starswirl the Bearded today! If you all don't know already, he's one of my favorite ponies, and an idol I look up to when studying magic. He was absolutely brilliant, but it wasn't too long ago that I did something he could never do; create magic. Now, it wasn't because he wasn't smart enough, or magically inclined enough, or talented enough; it was because he lacked the fundamental concept that is essential to the magic of Equestria; friendship. I think I've already discussed that with you all, so I'll spare you the details on all of that. I'd actually like to begin the discussion with a pony who deserves more recognition," I began. I felt a very strange, rising, and a little bit painful feeling in my stomach. I shrugged it off as nervousness and continued. "I actually played Clover the Clever in a Hearth's Warming Eve play a few years back; for anypony who saw it, I'm very sorry," I said, which caused more laughter. I looked for Starlight in the crowd to see if she was admiring her work; sure enough, when I found her, she was staring very ominously at me just like the day I had seen her before the time travel mess; I smiled at her, and she smiled back before waving at me, failing to withhold a chuckle. "Well, here's the thing; she understood that which Starswirl did not. Was she the better mage? No, but she understood the concept of friendship, and that actually made her a considerable force in comparison to her mentor, who did not. She was the only friend Starswirl ever had; of course, he met Celestia, but when you've known her as long as I have, you'll understand why he didn't befriend her." That drew massive laughs; I turned back to Celestia, who gave me a very playful "really?" face. Luna, on the other hand, was laughing harder than anypony in the building, completely unremorsefully. When I turned back to Starlight in the audience, she wore a smug look, admiring her handiwork. That feeling in my stomach spread to my legs; I looked down for a quick second in curiosity, but, one again, shrugged it off as nervousness. It was bothersome, but I could definitely still speak, so I immediately centered myself at the podium; the sooner it was done, the better. "Clover wrote a book after Starswirl died called the Art of Magic; you all had to read it as first year students. It's actually loosely based on Starswirl's Equestrian Wizardry and Charm, but it was far more comprehensive." I pulled out the book in question and placed it on the podium. "Friendship is absolutely the most essential thing a pony can posses, especially if it be true the pony is a unicorn. I hath found it to be the driving force behind all charm, be it Pegasus, Unicorn, or Earth, a concept mine own mentor, as cunning as he was, could not comprehend. I have that quote hung up in my laboratory, as nerdy as it sounds, but only because it's true! I can tell you now that I would not be in the position I am today if it weren't for all the...the..." The entire room began to spin. My vision was slowly blurring into nothing, and I felt my knees buckling under me. I took a step back, but I knew that I wouldn't be able to save myself from falling. "Twilight?" I heard Luna say from behind me. "The, um...the, uh, spell...doesn't..." I muttered. The last thing I remembered before blacking out completely was very inelegantly falling backwards, careening to the stage's hard wood floor. I didn't feel the impact, because seconds later, I was out like a light. * * * * * * I woke up in a hospital. I knew this because everything was white, even the bed I had been seemingly been sleeping in. It took a while to fully get my vision back, but once I did, there wasn't too much to see; just some medical equipment I had been hooked up to, a monitor, and a calendar; I wasn't too impressed with the scenery until I took a closer look at the calendar. It was not Saturday, it was Sunday; the day after the speech, or what was supposed to be the speech. I stood, my mouth agape, in shock; I had been sleeping for an entire day! It wasn't until a few seconds later that I realized there as a noise behind me; I turned around from my position, but I felt a wave of pain shoot through me. I grunted, but it wasn't passing quickly. It slowly burned away, and once I had taken my concentration off of that, I could clearly tell what had been making the noise. It was a radio, turned to the hoofball game; the Ponyville Express were playing the Cloudsdale Thunder for their opening game, I had remembered. Second and five, ball at their own forty six yardline. Rookie quarterback Steel Heart drops back, looking for an opening; he fires the hoofball all the way down the field, and that's gonna be tipped away--no! It's caught! Jennet Galloway makes a leap and grabs it, taking it to the house! That's her first receiving touchdown as a member of this talented young Ponyville squad, and that's Steel Heart's first passing touchdown, a fifty four yard bomb! She is living it up in the endzone! Unbelievable! I smiled at those words; I see Jennet was making her mark on the league as usual. I sighed and laid there for a few moments before I heard the door open. I instinctively turned towards the sound, and once again winced as pain shot through my body. It was a doctor, that was to be sure, and when she saw me, she immediately frowned and walked towards me. She was very cold looking, but all the same reassuring to look at, in a way that only doctors were. She had the same cutie mark, fur color, and mane style as Nurse Redheart, but her mane and tail color were a very deep red as opposed to the light pink Redheart had. "Don't turn over again, for obvious reasons. My name is Red Cross, though my friends like to call me Red, and of course I'll extend the same courtesy to you. You've been sleeping for about a day, if you haven't been able to tell; how are you feeling?" she asked me, walking over to me. "Not too hot, with all the pain from moving. What exactly happened to me? I remember passing out..." I told her. It was just for a moment, but I saw an annoyed look flash across her face. "It has something to do with your Alicorn Magic and, as a result, I have positively no idea. Celestia is here, though, with the rest of your friends, so I'll go and get her so she can explain it all. From what I do understand, you're going to be here for quite a while, Princess Twilight. Stay put," she said before leaving the room. Quite a while? That's impossible! I'm not dying or anything, I said to myself, though it quickly became apparent that I didn't actually know what was happening. I didn't get a long time to think before I was greeted by Princess Celestia herself, closing the door behind her with magic as she entered. Her normally regal presence was, to my surprise, just a bit lax. "Still in pain, huh?" she asked me as she sat down next to the bed, pulling up a chair. I nodded my head in the affirmative. "Princess, what happened to me?" I asked her. Her light hearted demeanor instantly changed to a grim one, which did a wonderful job of worrying me immensely before she spoke. "Do you remember what Cadance told you a while back? About Alicorns needing rest to properly regulate their magical pool?" She asked me. A look of understanding had to have dawned across her face, as Celestia nodded before continuing. "Then you know. You haven't been sleeping, Twilight, and as a result, your magical pool hasn't had a chance to refresh itself faster than it's being used. It got to frighteningly low levels during that speech, and as a result, it couldn't retain you. You aren't going to die, just so you know, but you're going to have to get some sleep to heal yourself fully. The reason you're in pain is because you're magical pool is still at the capacity it was when you fainted, it's just now you're awake; when you move, your body is begging you to stop moving, effectively. With all that said, I'm going to have to ask you a question; why?" she asked, I stared at her blankly. You know why, came a voice in my head. I knew precisely why, but I wasn't going to tell Celestia. Celestia had expected greatness from me. Celestia trusted me with the position I now held. Celestia brought me up to conquer any and every problem I encountered. Celestia could not see me fail. But I knew a mare who could. "Is Sunset here?" I asked her. I got exactly what I had been expecting; a raised eyebrow, a slight recoil, and confusion spreading across Celestia's face like a gentle current. I was dodging the question, something Celestia had not come in here prepared for. "Yes. She's in the waiting room. Would you like to see her?" she asked me. I nodded, but Celestia didn't get up immediately. Instead, to make it worse, she stared at me for a few more seconds, seemingly looking for something; she must have found it, because she quietly got up and headed towards the door. Before she opened it and left, however, she turned her head to me. "You can tell me anything, Twilight. I want you to know that," she said. I gave her nothing in response but a blank stare; at that, she'd left the room. * * * * * * When Sunset walked into the room, she had already caught me off guard. She had this look on her face of subtle rage. It was very hard to tell, but her eyebrows were just ever so slanted downwards, and her lips were pressed together just a bit too tight to be normal looking. She was mad, but unless you looked very, very closely, you wouldn't be able to tell. An old Equestrian saying came to mind upon seeing her face. Not a mare in the world plans misdeeds aloud. "You look angry," I said simply upon her arrival, with a confused tone. She calmly sat in the chair Celestia had been occupying only moments earlier before looking up at me. "I am angry. You should have told somepony about this, Twilight. I've told you everything, and I was hoping you'd trust me enough to do the same," she said simply. I shook my head at those words. "It wasn't about telling you, Sunset. I wasn't going to tell anypony. Don't take it personally, I trust you completely," I told her. That subtle anger was flaring up now, much to my surprise. "Well, obviously, you don't! If you had trouble with this whole princess thing, or if it's about a stallion or a mare, whatever the hell was keeping you up at night, you could have told somepony about it! From first hand experience, I can tell you, it does wonders. So I'm going to ask you now, Twilight, to stop hiding. What's up? What's on your mind? What's troubling you?" she said. I didn't consider myself to be an angry mare. I tried to be the nicest I could be, and I tried to never act in an overtly aggressive manner unless I absolutely had to. I tried to limit profanity, and most of all, I tried not to lose my cool and forget all of those things; in the following moments, I would come to break absolutely every rule I had ever set for myself. "I'll tell you what's wrong, Sunset. I'm a princess now. Celestia, Luna, Cadance, all of these ponies are expecting me to become this highly efficient, super regal, flawless ruler in what really seems to me like an absolute instant. The problem, Sunset, is that for the past year, I've had no idea what is happening, and none of this princess shit is making any sense to me at the moment! Oh, but it must! Because you're the element of magic, you've handled far, far worse! Being immediately thrust into the national spotlight as the Princess of Friendship, the most singularly powerful force in Equestria, should just be easy! Nopony, not Celestia, not Luna, not Cadance, not my friends, nopony, not even Spike, had ever asked me how I was feeling about it, or if it was too stressful. It's like nopony ever even gave a damn that Twilight Sparkle might not be comfortable with all of this just yet, but I'm not supposed to have problems! Ponies...ponies don't think I'm a pony; they think I'm some sort of magical being who can do no wrong. After all, she saved us from Discord, from Tirek, from Nightmare Moon; she's infailable!...I'm not, Sunset. I'm a pony. And late at night, into the early hours of the morning and even the crack of dawn, I'm remembering what it was like to be a pony. Not a goddess! Not an element of magic! Not a prodigy from Celestia's School for Gifted Unicorns...a pony. With feelings, with worries, with problems." I had began crying hard at that point. Sunset had a look of understanding on her face, and slowly, she put a hoof on my shoulder. "I want to go home," I cried. After a few seconds of staring at the ground, Sunset nodded. "Then you will. I'm not going to let you be cooped up in here. you can get your rest at the castle, Twi. I'll let the doctors know," she said. As I continued to cry, much to my embarrassment, looked up to the ceiling. "I'm sorry you feel like that," she said, "but you should really tell Celestia. She'll understand, I know it. Twilight, I can't begin to tell you how good of a job you've been doing as a Princess, from what I've been told. It seems to me that nopony is asking you if you're okay because you very much seem like you are; you're doing such a great job, it doesn't seem like there is reason to worry. Now, that's no excuse, mind you, but I just want you to know that we all think so highly of you. Not as a goddess, or an element of magic, but as a pony, Twilight; you're one of the greatest mares I know, and I've known plenty," said Sunset. I looked up at her, and, for the first time that evening, I smiled. "Thanks, Sunset," I said. "I should have told somepony, instead of waiting for them to figure it out." Sunset returned my smile readily before slowly getting up from her chair. "I'll tell Celestia what you said. We'll help you, Twilight, I promise you that, but for now, you need to go back to sleep. We'll put you back in the castle soon enough, okay?" I nodded, and like that, she was gone.