//------------------------------// // Chapter 53: Moondancer // Story: The Cassandra Chronicles // by CassandraMyOCisBestpony //------------------------------// Cassandra was bored. She had become so good at solving problems and preventing catastrophes, that there were no impending issues on the horizon, at best minor annoyances. “Ok, I’m going to fix the problem of the next pony that walks in here.” Exhibiting her typical amount of social grace, Twilight came in without knocking, “Cassandra, have you seen my-?” “Twilight! Perfect! Ok, who have you offended today? Let’s start by making a list of all the political opinions you’ve expressed,” she said, excitedly getting out a quill and parchment “Well, I told Lyra and Bonbon that they’re going to hell for being fillyfoolers. Anyway, I’m looking for a teddy bear with a spear-hole in it. Any idea where I could find it?” “Hmm, I suppose we’re more likely to find a broken toy from 4 years ago than get Lyra and Bonbon to forgive you. Alright, it’s off to Canterlot we go!” First, they met Dentist Who, and she said that Friend 3 and Friend 4 were also in Canterlot. “Lyra Heartstrings was one of our gang too, I could call her up, and have her join us.” “No, no” said Cassandra, “I don’t think we should do that right now. I’ll just photoshop her into our group picture later.” “Ok, well that just leaves...Moondancer.” (Dramatic music sting) “Moondancer?” (Dramatic music sting) asked Twilight “Moondancer” (Dramatic music sting) confirmed Colgate “I remember who that is,” said Twilight, “but why don’t you explain it for Cassandra’s benefit?” “Moondancer was one of our friends back in our school days. Except when Twilight ditched her party, she became a social recluse. Now if only we knew where to find her...” she said longingly “While you were rambling, I found her address in the phone book,” said Cassandra. They went to Moondancer’s house, and knocked on the door. A dishevelled unicorn with her mane in a sticking-up hair tie answered. “What do you want?” “Moondancer?” asked Twilight “Yeah that’s me.” “You know what they say about how time heals all wounds?” “Piss off,” replied Moondancer brusquely, and she closed the door. “Well, I guess we should give up and go home” said Twilight. “That’s what an ordinary pony would say,” said Cassandra. “Moondancer, by the authority vested in me as long-lost sister to Celestia, I order you to open up this door and stop being a bitch.” “Ugh fine” said Moondancer, “make it quick.” “Twilight got whisked off to Ponyville right after declining your party, which is why you never saw her again,” explained Cassandra, “That said, Twilight, you could have written once in a while.” “I had stuff to do, books to read! Friendship could wait!” “Twilight, that kind of attitude go you into this mess,” scolded Cassandra, “Look at Moondancer, Twilight. This is you in 5 years if you keep neglecting your friendships. No offense.” “None taken,” said Moondancer, “she is right you know, Twilight.” “Don’t be so satisfied with being a cautionary tale” said Cassandra, “I can fix you up. First, that hair elastic’s been bothering me since we got here, that sticking-up braid makes you look like a 2-year-old.” She took it out. “Next, you’re clearly well-read, but in my wing, I’m holding a mysterious artifact that you’ve never seen before.” “Ooh, what is it?” “It’s called a comb. You use it on your mane.” “These beauty tips are all fine and good, but I’m assuming that like all favors from pretty girls, they come at a price.” “Correct,” said Twilight, “I need you to come to a party.” “Yeah, no, that’s not happening.” She slammed the door in their faces. “Cassandraaaaa!” whined Twilight, “make her go to my party!” “That, I cannot do” said Cassandra, “it’s worse than I thought, she’s become a hikikomori.” “A what?” “Hikikomori, it’s a Japanese word that I know because I’m fluent in Japanese. It means that she’s become so averse to the outside world that she refuses to come out for anything except the vitalest of necessities.” “So what should we do?” “This friendship problem will require a great deal of knolwedge and planning to solve. Why don’t we go have dinner with the girls while we formulate something?” “Can we go to Donut Joe’s?” “Twilight, donuts aren’t dinner food.” However, the other friends all voted for Donut Joe’s. “I’ll have a caprese salad” said Cassandra. “I don’t normally make those, but for you Cassandra, the savior of my business, anything.” “Thanks Joe. Can I borrow your frying pan too?” “Of course.” “I owe you a new frying pan.” She approached the pony sitting at the table behind Twlight and co, who had her face buried in a menu. “So many choices, how can you ever decide, when they’re all so… EQUALLY GOOD!” In an instant, she ripped the menu away from the mysterious pony, revealing her identity as Starlight Glimmer. Then, she whacked her with the frying pan, over and over and over, until the ex-villain collapsed to the ground. Calmly, she threw the dented frying pan away behind her, and took a seat at Twilight’s table. “Sorry for the commotion, what’d I miss?” “We were reminiscing about that time that Lemon Hearts got her head stuck in a beaker,” said Crest, laughing. “And I was telling them about how a similar thing happened to Applejack last week with a plastic bag,” added Twilight, “except it didn’t have a very funny ending.” “A moment of silence for our dimly departed friend” added Cassandra. “Now, as six alumni of Princess Celestia’s School for Gifted Unicorns, we should be able to…” “Wait, Cassandra, six?” said Brush Your Teeth Twice a Day for Three Minuettes. “Don’t interrupt, it’s rude” said Cassandra, “and yes, I was a student as well, because I can do magic despite being a pegasus.” “Then why didn’t we ever see you?” “Because I was in advanced classes. Now, I have an idea, but I need to test it first.” She put a book on top of a mousetrap. “Twilight, do you want this book?” “Of course I do!” she said, reaching for it. Cassandra disarmed the mousetrap and handed it to her. “I knew nothing bad would happen if I touched the book!” beamed Twilight “Now Twilight, I need you to get Pinkie Pie over here ASAP, while I set up a trap for Moondancer.” “What for?” “So that we can lure her into coming into our rocking party!!!!” “Ooh, a party!” said Twilight, “that’ll be the perfect opportunity for me to talk about how the liberal yahoos are trying to take away my guns. I don’t know what ‘gun’ is, but it just seems like the right time and place to have that discussion.” “Twilight, why don’t you play game of Shhhh for the rest of the day? Use charades to tell Pinkie we have a party emergency, she’ll figure out what they mean.” Twilight nodded and hurried to Canterlot Station. Moondancer got lured into joining the party, where she complained that nonpony really loved her, so they introduced her to her sister. “How the hell did we know you for so long without your mentioning you had a sister?”asked Twilight. Cassandra accepted Moondancer’s offer of practice kissing. She had friends again, all thanks to Cassandra.