//------------------------------//
// Episode 6: Ego Busters 
// Story: Total Magic Pony Island 
// by Tailslover13 
//------------------------------//

Discord: Last time, on Total Magic Pony Island: a lot of stuff happened and several ponies, and a dragon and a zebra, were hurt bad. Why were they hurt bad? Probably due to the game of dodgeball that I asked Nightmare Moon to monitor while I looked macho and snoozed nearby. Gilda was locked into a zone and unleashed her rage, on BOTH teams. After watching the highlights on instant replay, I got a good laugh when Twilight was turned into a pony-ball herself and launched right into her mentor’s arrogant face. The Great and Powerful Trixie was also used as a shield. Applejack and Rainbow Dash did their best for their team, but when it came right down to it, Spike saved the day and won the game for his stunned campmates, despite getting most of his ribs cracked in the process. At the elimination ceremony, excluding Gilda’s vote for the lazy Scootaloo, it was a unanimous decision and the enraged griffon was removed from the game via a straightjacket before being loaded onto the Boat of Losers. The Royal Ruffians have a numbers advantage, but with their biggest head sore gone, can the Magical Misfits get back into this game? Find out next, on Total…Magic…Pony…Island!

*the opening theme song showing all 20 contestants plays a moment later before the episode*

“Who fixed you up, Spike?” Rainbow Dash asked, holding an icepack over her black eye as her Royal Ruffians sat at their mess hall table for their dinner, “I didn’t think this place had a doctor.”

“Nightmare Moon did it,” Spike moaned, relaxing at the top of the table as he idly patted his chest cast, “It was really scary, and she used some kind of strange magic…but, at least it doesn’t hurt as much.”

Before the elimination ceremony of the dodgeball challenge, Twilight, Trixie and Spike had all been taken to the infirmary by Discord. Since Spike was the only one on the Royal Ruffians in need of immediate doctoring, none of his teammates knew where Discord had taken him. As it turned out, Nightmare Moon had been put in charge of EVERYTHING around Camp Paradox, save for host, since Discord found THAT to be the most important job of all and only HE could do it. Nightmare Moon had been the one to patch up Twilight, Trixie and Spike’s injuries.

“Really? So, she fixed all three of you?” Celestia asked, a bit skeptical, “Are you sure that you’re alright? I don’t trust anything that she does around here. In fact, I can’t help but think this is all part of some big plan by both her and Discord. Don’t you all see? With the elements of harmony unable to perform their powers, and all those who might be able to stop the two of them imprisoned on a non-magical island, they could be doing diabolical plots during the night or when we’re not watching! Playing this game could very well be putting all of Equestria in jeopardy!”

The Royal Ruffians all stared at the ruler of Equestria, their expressions showing mostly concern. The princess did have a good point. Nightmare Moon’s prognosis for reappearing on Equestria was to make the world have eternal night; Discord’s was to thrust the world into total chaos, using Ponyville as the epicenter for such chaos. It didn’t take a genius to theorize that the two troublemakers could potentially be working together to conspire something absolutely terrifying the likes of Equestria had ever seen. Then again, it could just be Celestia being paranoid, too.

“If you’re so worried, Princess, you’re always free to fly away,” Rainbow Dash stated, “No one here will think any less of you for leaving this game to put Equestria first. It’s your duty, after all. If you’re really so concerned, you can leave; I don’t mind what you choose to do. I’ll support you either way, as I’m sure Twilight and everyone else would.”

“No…I will not leave you all,” Celestia sighed, “Equestria is important, but…putting it before all of you, my subjects and…friends…wouldn’t be right. I was just expressing my worries; do not pay heed to them. Let’s just focus on doing our best as a team and continue to win.”

“That’s my sister!” Luna smiled, wrapping a foreleg around Celestia, “Always the worrywart, but loyal to a fault and will not desert those who mean a lot to her.”

Celestia: Contrary to what Discord and Nightmare Moon might believe, I put others before the world. That might come back to haunt me, but I’m not a tyrant ruler like SOME ponies might think. I will always put my subjects and friends before everything else…especially my sister. *she smiles a bit*

“Don’t you worry, Spike,” Fluttershy purred, sitting next to the little dragon and gently stroking his head, “I will take care of you until all your broken ribs heal, and even afterwards…um, if you’d like.”

“Thanks, Fluttershy, but I don’t really think that’ll be necessary,” Spike blushed, “Nightmare Moon said that me staying in this body cast will be a hindrance to my team, which then would hurt the ratings for this show, so she used a very powerful healing magic that’ll heal my ribs overnight!”

“Oh…is that right?” Fluttershy blinked, looking slightly disappointed at the thought of not getting the chance to take care of the cute little dragon, “Well, um, that’s really amazing. I’m very happy to hear that. Nightmare Moon has very strong magic…I’m happy to hear that you’ll be back to normal in the morning, Spike.”

Fluttershy: *crossing her front forelegs and pouting* That’s so not fair. How can I care for Spike when his serious injury turns out to not be so serious at all thanks to Nightmare Moon’s magic? That pony is such a big meanie. *she sighs and looks sad* I would’ve looked so cute in a nurse’s outfit, too.

About five minutes later, the Magical Misfits trudged into the mess hall to join their opponents for a quick dinner, if they even chose to eat what Nightmare Moon was serving. Cheerilee was pushing along Twilight’s wheelchair, while Trixie constantly kept poking at the small cast plastered over her broken nose. Applejack glanced over and felt slightly guilty, since it had been a dodgeball kicked by her that had ultimately broken Trixie’s nose, even if Gilda had used the unicorn as a shield. The entire Royal Ruffians team couldn’t help but smile when they saw that Gilda had indeed been voted out.

Rainbow Dash: Ha, serves her right! *she pushes her face right up close to the camera* If you’re listening to this, Gilda, you seriously need to take some anger management classes. *she then goes silent and glances down at the floor of the confessional* I…I really do miss my old friend, though…

“How ya holdin’ up, Twilight?” Applejack asked, calling over to one of her best friends as they sat down at their own table, “Spike informed us that Nightmare Moon fixed ya’ll up and that ya should be better when mornin’ comes. Is that right?”

“Yeah…pretty much…Applejack,” Twilight moaned, barely even able to move any part of her body, save for her head, “Nightmare Moon said…repairing and structuring an entire pony skeletal system…isn’t an easy task…but, I should be better…in the morning...even though, in theory, mending bones…should take a good couple of months…”

“That’s our egghead,” Rainbow Dash snickered, “I think she’ll be just fine. She may be a small pony, and Gilda may have broken her body, but she couldn’t break her spirit.”

“Thanks…Rainbow…that makes me feel…SO much better,” Twilight moaned sarcastically, casting an amused glance over in the Pegasus’ general direction. 

“Does nopony care about TRIXIE’S injury?” Trixie growled, sniffing and continuing to poke at her nose, “Her beautiful nose is broken and all she hears is compassion for that overrated violet unicorn!”

“Vanity only works for those who know how to use it, darling,” Rarity teased, patting Trixie mockingly on the back and getting a glare in return from the azure unicorn. 

Trixie: *never stopping poking at her busted nose* Intolerable foals! Mocking Trixie when she clearly deserves more attention than that Twilight Sparkle! Good riddance to that obnoxious half-breed, Gilda, so hopefully this team will start listening to what Trixie has to say! It’s for their own good!

As dinner got over, which resulted in more ponies feeling hungry than nourished, the two teams left the mess hall and headed for their cabins. Cheerilee kept pushing Twilight along in her wheelchair, while Fluttershy was going out of her way to help Spike with his broken ribs. Celestia and Luna both went to give Twilight their well wishes, while Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon both had to listen to Zecora talk about team unity.

“Young Spike showed the true heart of a winner,” Zecora was stating, opening up her team’s cabin door and letting the two little fillies enter, “You could read his resolve during our time at dinner. Your spirit alone can carry you quite a long way, but make sure you always listen to what your heart has to say. Your head and your eyes will fool and deceive you, but your heart will always be the one to stay true.”

“Like, why are you telling us all this?” Diamond Tiara frowned, giving Zecora a disgusted look, “You seriously do not make any sense, weird zebra lady. Come, Silver Spoon, just ignore what that weirdo has to say; it’s nothing but the ramblings of a strange loon.” The filly stuck her nose in the air and headed into the cabin, ignoring Zecora.

“Um…coming, Diamond,” Silver Spoon muttered, giving Zecora a long look before following after her friend. The zebra shook her head as she watched the two fillies make their way towards their beds.

Zecora: If one cannot learn from their own faults, they will only get hurt from the following results. Diamond Tiara refuses to see the light, but Silver Spoon seems to be willing to fight. *she closes her eyes and meditates, as she usually does when she does a confessional* Willing to fight…for what is right. 

Silver Spoon: The more Zecora talks to me, the more her words seem to stick in my mind. I really don’t understand what it is she’s saying or why she’s singling out Diamond and myself, but… *she removes her glasses, deep in thought* …what was my life like before I got my cutie mark?

“Twilight, would you rather sleep in your wheelchair or in your bed?” Cheerilee asked, looking at Twilight in concern after wheeling her into the team’s cabin and up to her bed.

“It’s best that…my body isn’t move from this wheelchair…until my bones knit…and I can move without worry of reinjuring myself,” Twilight whispered, “Therefore…it’s best if I sleep in this chair.”

“Fair enough, darling,” Rarity smiled, pulling Twilight’s blanket off her bed while Cheerilee got her pillow, “We’ll make sure you’re good and comfortable while you’re confined in SUCH a horrible position.” Cheerilee very gently eased Twilight’s head forward as she put the pillow behind it, and Rarity draped the blanket over the grateful purple unicorn. Trixie was watching all this with a strange look on her face. 

Trixie: Trixie does not understand why that arrogant white unicorn and that gullible school teacher worry so much for the likes of Twilight Sparkle. Why do others go out of their way to make somepony else happy? The only one that you should worry about is yourself; others come after. 

“Would you like me to sing you a lullaby, Twilight?” Pinkie asked, bouncing up and softly nuzzling her best friend’s leg, “I promise it’ll be one that doesn’t hurt your head, like you said the last one did.”

“That’s alright, Pinkie…you need your rest,” Twilight said, forcing a weak smile, “The team comes before me, you know. Tomorrow is another day…and possibly another challenge. I want you all to be strong and rested…please don’t worry about me.” These words made Pinkie gently snuggle the weak unicorn, and made Trixie look even more confused.

Trixie: Why does Twilight Sparkle say such stupid things? If Trixie was in her hooves, she would take all the attention she could get. She would seriously put a TEAM before her own health? What a silly little foal she is. *she laughs* Sometimes…or rather ALL the time…Twilight Sparkle can be so stupid.

“Goodnight, everypony!” Pinkie cheerfully called out, leaping into bed a moment later, “Sleep tight and don’t let the bedbugs bite!” Then, she was out like a light and snoring loudly only seconds after she had made her proclamation. 

“With no more annoying Gilda, we’re gonna rock!” Scootaloo laughed, leaping into her bed and snuggling up under the covers.

“Ah hear that!” Apple Bloom agreed, “We’re only goin’ up from here, Magical Misfits!” 

“How can you go up when there’s a ceiling?” Derpy inquired, pointing up at the roof of the cabin with a hoof, “If we go up, we’ll hit our heads. I hit my head all the time; it feels kinda funny and it makes my eyes go around and around in circles.”

“Derpy, sweetie, I think you should just go to bed, okay?” Cheerilee smiled, gently and somewhat forcibly guiding the confused blonde Pegasus to her bed.

Derpy: *tilting her head while her eyes spiral a bit inside their sockets* How come when I say something the ponies usually smile at me and try to make me feel good by giving me pats on the head or backside? I don’t really get it. Do I say funny things? *she sticks out her tongue and pokes at it*

“Okay, Spike, are you sure that you’re comfortable?” Fluttershy asked, moving very quickly as she tucked Spike into bed, “Are you sure you’re sleeping on your back and not your tummy? Are your pillows fluffed enough? Is your blanket tucked in alright? Is your cast nice and snug around your broken ribs? Do you want me to sing you a lullaby? Would you like a goodnight kiss?”

“Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, no thanks, and gladly, Fluttershy,” Spike muttered, answering all of Fluttershy’s questions before puckering up and closing his eyes. Unfortunately, Fluttershy just gave Spike a kiss on his cheek and not his lips.

Spike: *grinning stupidly at the camera* Not the kiss I was hoping for, but…hey, I’ll take it! *he weakly touches his left cheek and sighs dreamily* If Fluttershy’s kiss is THAT soft and magical…I can only imagine what Rarity’s is like! Maybe I should break my body parts more often…chicks seem to dig that.

“Goodnight, sister,” Luna said, walking up to Celestia as the sun princess was once again looking out the cabin window into the distance, “Please don’t stay up too long, alright? You need your rest just like everypony else.” She hugged her sister from behind, while Celestia just nodded to her and never taking her eyes away from the moon.

“Does it not bother you, Luna?” Celestia whispered, “Your moon is out there, but you don’t have any say over it while you are here. Does it not worry you, or anger you, or make you feel strange on the inside?”

“I can’t say that I don’t think about my duties, but it shouldn’t be my prime concern,” Luna said, “Like you said, dear sister, there are more important things than just royal duties. There’s more to life than that. Being imprisoned for 1,000 years on that very moon made me lose my mind because everything in life that I held dear wasn’t there for me, and Nightmare Moon made me her vessel as she convinced herself I wanted revenge against you and Equestria. I was hurt and depressed, but what my time away taught me was that life is precious and there are more important things than just who you are.”

“Sister…” Celestia whispered, slowly looking to the side and staring into Luna’s eyes. The two princess sisters stared at one another for a long time before the dark pony gave the white one a little nuzzle and turned around to head for bed. Celestia watched her sister enter a world of dreams in silence, before turning back around and staring out at the moon again. 

Celestia: *whispering* Life is precious and there are more important things than just who you are? But, I am the ruler of Equestria…the one who raises the sun each and every day…without me, this world would be nothing…right? How could anything be more important than my title? *she closes her eyes*

The night passed mostly uneventfully, both teams sleeping soundly in their beds (and wheelchair) and dreaming random things. Celestia eventually went to bed, her head filled with many thoughts, and was soon lost in the dream world, too. Twilight Sparkle was as comfortable as one could be sleeping in a wheelchair, while Trixie tossed and turned now and then for some reason. Scootaloo was hugging her pillow, thinking it was Rainbow Dash, since the little Pegasus was naturally dreaming about her. Silver Spoon, sleeping without her glasses, had gone to sleep with many uneasy thoughts invading her mind; Diamond Tiara had no such qualms and was sleeping like a baby. 

The Magical Misfits’ cabin door ended up opening during the middle of the night with Pinkie Pie slowly sleepwalking out. She had a happy smile plastered on her face, dreaming something very content as she trotted along the quiet campgrounds with her eyes closed. The pink pony ended up taking a very interesting little walk around the camp, which included her walking up several trees, over the roofs of several of the camp buildings, and even upside down across the ceiling of her team’s cabin. Trixie ended up waking up during Pinkie’s latest sleepwalking stunt and immediately spotted the pony trotting nonchalantly across the ceiling of the team’s cabin.

“…Trixie plans to have a long talk with Nightmare Moon about what she puts in our food,” Trixie muttered, quickly turning the other way and burying her face back into her pillow as Pinkie continued her sleepwalking camp tour.

Pinkie: *still asleep, she smiles blindly at the camera and whispers something that was not audible enough to understand, just before curling up on top of the toilet and finally ending her sleepwalking*

When morning eventually came, Twilight was the first camper up. The first thing she noticed was that she felt no pain whatsoever. In complete awe, she cautiously eased herself out of her wheelchair and examined her body. Somehow, Nightmare Moon’s powerful magic had done the trick; her entire body was mended and completely back to normal. Despite finding this technologically impossible, Twilight was thrilled and ended up doing a joyful little dance around her cabin, waking Trixie in the process.

“Ugh, do you HAVE consideration for allowing an actual TALENTED unicorn to retain her beauty sleep?” Trixie grumbled, glaring over at Twilight and grudgingly reaching for her hairbrush.

“Sorry, Trixie, it just feels so good to have my body back!” Twilight gushed, bouncing up to her rival’s bed and smiling at her, “It might’ve just been one night, but you have no idea how horrible it feels to be in a wheelchair. Check your nose; I bet it’s back to normal as well.” 

“Trixie does not take orders!” Trixie snapped, but ended up reaching up and removing her nose cast anyway. With a rare smile, Trixie found that Twilight was correct; the blue unicorn’s nose was indeed mended and back to normal.

“I’ll say this much for Nightmare Moon…her magic is incredible,” Twilight said, trotting back to her own bedside and starting to comb her own bedhead. Trixie eyed the perky unicorn, but just shook her head and ignored her for the rest of the morning. 

Diamond Tiara: *was just about ready to share her feelings on how annoying it was to wake up so early, but upon seeing Pinkie sleeping on the toilet, now upside down and with her tongue sticking out, Diamond Tiara screamed her head off and ended up racing away as fast as she could*

Pinkie: *her eyes flutter open a moment later and she peeks up and looks backwards up at the camera from her awkward position* …how did I get HERE? Aww, Dashie must’ve put me here as a prank! Isn’t she just the cutest filly you’ve ever seen? *she giggles, her tail wagging with her rump up in the air*

“THAT PINK PONY IS TOTALLY DEAD!” Diamond Tiara shrieked, racing back into the Royal Ruffians’ cabin and instantly irritating all of her teammates with her voice, “SHE WAS TOTALLY DEAD! I SAW HER IN THE CONFESSIONAL! IT WAS SO FREAKY!”

“Uh…wait, did you just say Pinkie Pie is dead?!?!” Rainbow Dash gasped, instantly looking horrified. In fact, the entire cabin started to look terrified at the thought of the pony being dead. However, a second later, Pinkie peeked her head into the cabin and gave the campers a happy smile.

“Ooh, you’re all awake! Goody, goody!” Pinkie gushed, “Now I can wish you all a good morning before anypony else from my team can! Oh, and Dashie, that was a nice prank you did. You silly filly, laying me upside down in the confessional like that; really gave me quite a start!”

“Wait…Pinkie Pie?” Applejack blinked, slowly trotting over and nervously poking a hoof on Pinkie’s forehead, as though thinking she wasn’t really there, “Uh…ya’ll don’t look dead…wait, what’d ya’ll just say? Dash pulled a prank?” All the campers then looked over at Rainbow Dash, who quickly held up her hooves in protest.

“Hey, I love a prank now and then, but I’m totally innocent!” she cried, “Pinkie, you just must’ve been sleepwalking again.”

“Yes! My ribs are all healed!” Spike interrupted, bouncing up and down and finally realizing that his chest no longer hurt, “Everyone, check it out!” He pulled off his cast and did some poses that flexed his chest muscles. At first, the Royal Ruffians were thrilled to find that Spike was better. However, about five seconds after Spike’s displays, they grew bored and began ignoring him again.

Spike: *complaining* How is it that the only time I get a girl to fawn over me is when I’m hurt? Don’t they see just how macho and fit I am? I thought girls loved that! *crosses his arms and pouts* Maybe I’ll go jump off a cliff or two; try to break one of my arms. That’ll get me a lot more attention!

“Hello, my little campers!” Discord announced, already eating some breakfast in the mess hall when both teams eventually walked inside, “Did you all sleep well? Ah, and it seems that Twilight, Trixie and Spike are all healed up, too.”

“Yup! I’m totally fit and back to my old self!” Spike smiled, proudly primping again and immediately getting many snickers and jeers from the surrounding females.

“Trixie’s nose is back to its beautiful and normal self as well,” Trixie stated, patting her nose with a hoof and sighing in almost an egotistic way.

“And as you can tell, my bones have all mended and my body is back to normal, too,” Twilight smiled.

“Yes, yes, I didn’t ask for your life stories,” Discord smirked, waving a hand in a dismissive way, “I’m just glad that Nightmare Moon did her job; losing you three would drastically drop ratings, since you three are very important to this game.”

Spike: *proudly crossing his arms and closing his eyes* Aw yeah, I’m important! You heard him!

Trixie: *putting her nose in the air with an arrogant smirk* It’s good to hear justified appreciation. 

Twilight: *sarcastically* Nice, Discord, make Trixie and Spike’s heads even bigger than they are!

“Now, you all will want a good, hearty breakfast,” Discord continued, now playing with a paddleball as he idly watched the campers get into line for their food, “Today’s challenge will be an interesting one. What is it, you ask? It’s a talent show, that’s what!”

“Sweet!” Rainbow Dash grinned, “Now you’re speaking my language!”

“Each team will have until five o’clock this evening to pick their THREE top performers,” Discord explained, “Until then, I suggest you all do your best to find out which three on your team can do the best tricks or stunts, since each of your performers will be given a score from one to ten on how well they do. The three campers with the highest combined total will win the talent show for their team and be safe from elimination tonight.”

“Is there anything we can and cannot do?” Scootaloo asked, curious as to what would be allowed.

“Since the viewers who are watching this show range from little fillies to old mares, I’m forced to say that what you do must be legal and not very gruesome,” Discord yawned, “As for what specifically you can do, that’s up to your team. Without magic, I’m very interested in seeing what you all can come up with. Any special talent at all that you want to use will be fine, just so long as it’s not overly dangerous or questionable against the law.”

Apple Bloom: This’ll be easy. Mah big sister has taught me everythin’ she knows. Ah know that ah have a lot of special talents that are sure to come in handy fer this team! *she smiles excitedly*

Celestia: A talent show? Uh…I’m not so sure about this… *shockingly, she looks a bit shy* Blame this younger body of mine, but…I don’t really like the idea of showing off in front of my subjects. 

“Okay, ladies, we have a good eight hours or so to get ready,” Twilight said, taking charge of her team and holding a clipboard in her hoof, “I want each of you to try out and show me what you can do. Then, we’ll have a vote on which three should represent us.”

“Why are YOU leading us?” Trixie complained, “Trixie thinks that she would make a much better…”

“All in favor of me leading?” Twilight asked, lifting her hoof with her clipboard into the air. Trixie’s eyes narrowed as she saw every member of the team raise their hooves, including Cheerilee. “All in favor of Trixie leading?” Trixie’s eyes narrowed even more when she was the only one with her hoof in the air. “There you have it, Trixie; majority rules.”

Cheerilee: It’s not that I didn’t want Trixie to lead, but…I know Twilight is a natural-born leader. From what I’ve seen of Trixie, I think she needs to learn a bit more about leadership.

“Okay, who would like to go first?” Twilight asked, looking seriously at her team while holding out her clipboard. Almost immediately, Derpy Hooves gasped and bounced forward. 

“I can sing!” she blurted out, “Want to hear it?” 

“Ooh, cool, you can sing, too?” Pinkie squealed, eagerly wiggling her tush in the air again, “Twilight, you totally have to let her sing! Singing is always awesome and it’s always a winner!”

“That’s debatable, Pinkie…but, okay,” Twilight chuckled, “Go ahead, Derpy; you have the floor.”

“I do? But, I don’t remember buying the floor,” Derpy blinked, glancing down at the ground, “And, aren’t we outside? Isn’t this the ground, not the floor?”

Twilight: *hitting herself in the forehead with her clipboard a few dozen times, her left eye twitching the entire time. Then, she smiles weakly and giggles* Isn’t Derpy cute?

“Okay, pony folk!” Derpy giggled, pulling a microphone out of nowhere and facing her team, “Here we go! Pinkie, start the music!” Somehow, Pinkie Pie pulled out a boombox and clicked one of the buttons down on it. Music began to play and Derpy began singing. 

La-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la…whoa! 

Hey! I'm derptastic! Should be made in plastic! 
Every ep, every day, always you'll be lookin’ at the screen derp-watchin’! Uh-huh!

Grown men fork over dollars; I make em go "Daaaaw..."!
Blonde-haired horse, bubbles, yay! Cross-eyed, thinkin’…I-I forgot what to say.

Derp eyes, better watch it! Muffins in my pocket!
Like don't hate on my medical condition; it’s possible that I’m just kiddin’. For real.

I spazz out and then drop it like it’s hot again!
Mail bag packed! Letters are my life. On the mail route, I'm off, my friend!

Love my mail car! Cruisin' down the highway on the left side! Hey, they're goin’ the wrong way!
I'm the most dingy horse in town. You know I'm gonna…derp it up, derp it up, da-da-da derp it!

Feelin’ walleyed, like a zombie. Only thinkin' muffin, instead of raw meat!
Would you still ride this horse around? You know I'm gonna…derp it up, derp it up, da-da-da derp it!

Hey! Let's all derp and go insane! I got butter hooves; do you wanna play a little game?
Bubbles are fun! And I like to blow! Watch it! Swat it! Stop it! Pop it!

Doesn't take much to distract; airhead wants her muffin back!
I done ate it up and it's gone! How whack! Guess next time I'll get a thousand pack! Grrrrr.

No Ma’am! English muffins are way bland! Need something' warm and fluffy!
And tell me do you know the muffin man? Gone walleyed in dream land! Hey, Mr. Muffin!

I ain't no scientist; say that I'm a super ditz.
Hey now be my witness; blurred vision, just go with it!

I'm like a rock star with lots of honeys, only I choose muffins, now bake some for me!
I'm the most dingy horse in town. You know I'm gonna…derp it up, derp it up, da-da-da derp it!

I'm causin’ panic when I wreak havoc. Didn't mean to drop that; I'm just so clumsy!
Would you still ride this horse around? You know I'm gonna…derp it up, derp it up, da-da-da derp it!

Oh-no-whoa! No-no-no-whoa-whoa!
It’s gonna blow-oh-oh! I think I…derped it up, derped it up, da-da-da derped it!

Oh-uh-ah-ah-oh! You know for sure-whoa-whoa!
I'm gonna go-oh-oh…derp it up, derp it up, da-da-da derp it. Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! Aww!

As it turned out, both teams, including Discord and Nightmare Moon, had come over to watch Derpy’s “performance”. As soon as the ditzy pony was done and she was sitting down, giggling on the ground, all the other campers, including the host and his assistant, were staring at Derpy as though she was an alien. The only camper who didn’t look nauseated or disgusted was Pinkie, who was happily clopping her hooves and giving Derpy a standing ovation.

“Bravo, Derpy!” Pinkie gushed, “That was so impressionable and different! Way to go!”

Trixie: Trixie now wants to go and bury her head in the sand…as far as she can in the sand.

Rarity: I fear that I may not ever listen to music the same way again…SUCH a tragedy.

Celestia: It pains me to see one of my subjects perform as such…did I REALLY create her?

“Um…thanks for that, Derpy…but, I’m afraid that we won’t have you representing us in the talent show,” Twilight said, making some notes on her clipboard as Discord, Nightmare Moon and the Royal Ruffians all slowly moved away so that they could clear their heads.

“What?!?! That’s so not fair!” Derpy cried, fluttering over to Twilight and glaring at her, “That song totally would’ve won it for us! You big meanie!” She put her nose in the air and turned around, walking blindly away. She ended up crashing head-first into the side of her team’s cabin, instantly causing her team to wince. Derpy staggered backwards and shook her head, her eyeballs spinning, before she turned back to look at Twilight and yelled out, “Big meanie!” Then, she turned right back around and ended up walking straight into the cabin wall yet again. Once more, she staggered backward with her eyeballs spinning, before turning around and yelling, “Big meanie” at Twilight. This pattern then kept going on and on, since the cabin was quite long and Derpy never seemed to learn her lesson. 

Cheerilee: *sighing* Oh dear…poor Derpy; the poor thing is probably gonna be in need of a good physical checkup after this…possibly a mental checkup, too. 

“It’s a shame Vinyl isn’t here…she could’ve really helped us make some REAL music,” Twilight muttered, turning back to her remaining teammates, “Okay, who’s next?”

“Ooh, ooh, I can drink an entire gallon of soda and burp the alphabet!” Pinkie squeaked, “Would you like to see me do that?”

“You do and you’ll be losing some teeth,” Trixie snapped, glaring at Pinkie. Scootaloo, however, looked very intrigued by what Pinkie said, and eagerly ended up running off to find a gallon of soda. 

“Apple Bloom…what about you?” Twilight asked, looking over at the small filly, “Surely you’ve got some clever moves that you could do.”

“Sure do, Twilight!” Apple Bloom grinned, pulling out a lasso and attaching it to her tail, “Check it out; ah can do exactly what mah big sister does!” She then began doing several tricks with her lasso, including playing jump rope with herself, snagging an apple out of one of Discord’s apple trees and catching it in her mouth, lassoing a tree branch and using the rope as leverage to help her climb up the tree, and hogtying Trixie in less than three seconds.

“RELEASE TRIXIE AT ONCE!” Trixie screamed, squirming and thrashing as she attempted to get out of Apple Bloom’s hogtie. Sadly, the cowpony was just as talented as her sister, so there was no escape for the angry unicorn.

“Very nice, Apple Bloom!” Twilight gushed, making some more notes on her clipboard, “Very nice tricks indeed! I’d say you’re a strong candidate to be one of our three! Cheerilee, what about you?”

“Me? Um…well, you see, Twilight…I’m not really all that talented,” Cheerilee admitted, looking a bit nervous in front of Apple Bloom, since Scootaloo was still out of the picture, “All I am is a teacher; a cheerful school pony who wants to see the smiling faces of little fillies and colts as they learn from each other and make something out of themselves in Equestria. I don’t have many talents other than teaching, which I don’t think is gonna cut it here.”

“Fair enough,” Twilight smiled, turning instead to Rarity, “Rarity, I know you don’t have your magic, but can YOU do anything creative?”

Rarity: I bet you darlings were all worried about little old Rarity, hmm? Well, don’t be; this girl has more tricks up her sleeve than just her magic. It takes more than magic to be a fashion designer, you see.

“Of course I can do something creative, Twilight,” Rarity said, trotting over to a tree and using her horn to scrap off a good chunk of tree bark, “There’s more to fashion than just using magic to put things together. Now, observe what ELSE my horn can do.” Flipping the piece of tree bark over onto its smooth, inner side, Rarity dipped her head down and began quickly carving something out with her horn. The rest of the Magical Misfits all watched curiously as Rarity worked, and in no time at all, the white unicorn proudly held up her finished project.

“Oh my…Rarity, that’s beautiful!” Cheerilee gasped, looking at the beautiful design that Rarity had somehow carved into the tree bark, “It’s so flawless…so talented…so amazing! However did you DO that in such short time?”

“Like I said, darling, it all comes with the package,” Rarity giggled, proudly fluffing her mane as she let Twilight take her project and observe it more closely. 

“Truly this is a work of art…it looks sanded and everything!” Twilight exclaimed, running her hooves over the design of what seemed to be some style of outfit, “Rarity, if you can do that with just a little piece of tree bark, imagine what you could do with something BIGGER. Very well done!”

Trixie: *frowning, a hint of jealousy expressed in her eyes* Humph…those little talented unicorns think they’re SO smart…well, Trixie can easily beat them! She doesn’t need HER magic, either!

“Say, Twilight, what about YOU?” Pinkie asked, tilting her head and curiously pointing to the pony with a hoof, “Can you do something without your magic, too?”

“But of course, Pinkie,” Twilight said confidently, setting her clipboard down and trotting off into her team’s cabin. After a moment, she returned, carrying a variety of weird objects on her backside, including four potatoes and some different kinds of wires. 

“Ooh, are you gonna make potato chips?” Pinkie gasped, bouncing up and down excitedly, “That sounds delicious, Twilight! Can I please be your taste-tester?” 

“Pinkie, I’m NOT making potato chips,” Twilight sighed, setting down her load and smiling at the team, “I’m gonna show you how to create light using potatoes as your energy source! Now, watch closely to what I do. Observe how I hook up these beakers and strips and attach a light-emitting diode, or LED for short. Now, I’ll fill half of the beakers with water; see how the LED is dimly lit? Well, now I add vinegar, which represents free protons, to the beakers and show that the LED is now brightly lit. Now, I’ll attach some strips to each potato…and voilà! Potato-powered energy!” Twilight proudly closed her eyes and patted her chest as the rest of the team stared down at the strange contraption that was just created.

Pinkie: *staring at the camera, completely lost* So…no potato chips for Pinkie then?

Cheerilee: Um…well, Princess Celestia should be very proud just how smart her prized student is.

Trixie: *seemingly even more jealous* Impudent foal! Her nonsense about potatoes is pathetic!

“Okay, Trixie, your turn now,” Twilight smirked, pushing her little invention off to the side and eying the azure unicorn, “Let’s see some of your great and powerful skills…that DON’T involve magic tricks.” The purple unicorn couldn’t help but giggle slightly at Trixie’s expense; the blue unicorn had always been doing it to HER, after all. Now that the spotlight was on her, Trixie actually looked slightly nervous. However, when she found all sets of eyes (excluding the eyes of the absent Derpy and Scootaloo) upon her, her ego came back to her and she forced her nervousness away.

“Very well,” Trixie sniffed, “If that is what you wish. Trixie will prove just why she has the title of ‘Great and Powerful’ and why you all do not. Her magic is…her prime attraction…but it is NOT all she can do. What she can do is so incredible, so astounding, so mystifying, so mesmerizing, so majestic, so amazingly stunning that you all will be bowing to her and kissing her hooves before she’s even done!”

“Great…let’s see it,” Rarity smirked, joining Twilight’s side as she sat on her rear and crossed her front forelegs. Clearly, from the looks on Twilight and Rarity’s faces, they had called Trixie’s bluff. Now, it was time to Trixie to put up or shut up. The blue unicorn gulped slightly, now feeling slightly intimidated as both other unicorns on the team were still leering at her. Both of them had showed their talents without the use of magic, so Trixie had no choice but to do the same or to once more be completely humiliated and made to be a fraud. She had to keep the act going.

“Foolish amateurs; you do not know just how great and powerful Trixie really is!” Trixie continued, her eyes darting around as she wildly made up a story, “You see, when Trixie was born, she discovered that her parents were actually spiritual unicorn users of Equestria. Their magic was limited, but what they lacked in powers they made up for with chakra, or for those of you without brains, inner strength! When Trixie focuses on her chakra, she can draw out magic that doesn’t require her horn to use; no island can block such magic.”

“Intriguing…now, if you can just PROVE it…” Twilight began, her grin getting wider as her eyes narrowed. 

“With pleasure, foolish unicorn of little faith,” Trixie said, seeing a strange-looking stick nearby and instantly scooping it up into her hooves, “Now, stand back and give Trixie space. Using just her inner chakra, Trixie will make this simple stick explode in the air with a shower of her special fireworks!”

Twilight: Just how far is Trixie willing to take this nonsense? Obviously she was just making it all up, just as she did with her Ursa Major story, but…eh, this’ll be a good lesson for her. *she chuckles*

Obliging to her request, the five remaining Magical Misfits all scooted back and kept their eyes on Trixie. Twilight and Rarity whispered a bet to each other that Trixie would be exposed in only one minute. Cheerilee, Apple Bloom and Pinkie Pie were all very interested to see if there was any truth to Trixie’s story this time. Scootaloo and Derpy Hooves still weren’t anywhere around. Upon seeing that her small audience was ready, Trixie narrowed her eyes and sat down. She closed her eyes and pressed her hooves together, clutching the stick between them and…trying to think up a plan to get out of this.

Trixie herself knew that she was a complete liar. The only way she even came up with such a story was because she had read many fantasy books as a little filly, which had led her to become a traveling magician. However, thanks to her reading, it made her constantly lie to make herself look better than she actually was, and now she was once again gonna be revealed to be a fraud. This time, it would hurt even more than in Ponyville, since her actions were being seen around the world with the cameras, not to mention that Twilight and Rarity were both watching her every move, anxious to see her fail. 

Gritting her teeth, Trixie scrunched up her eyes and began grinding her hooves back and forth against the stick. She was grinding and pressing so hard that her hooves began to get hot, thus also warming up the stick. A minute passed and nothing happened, except for Trixie grunting softly and trying her hardest to make SOMETHING happen. She desperately was trying to use her horn, but Discord didn’t lie; the island would not allow her to do anything. She rubbed her hooves faster and faster out of pure terror at being laughed at and mocked again. She feared failure more than anything else, which is why she always ran away after being found out. 

Suddenly, after more constant rubbing, Trixie squealed as the stick suddenly flew out of her hooves and shot up straight into the air, a small trail of sparks sizzling from its bottom. Instantly, the entire Magical Misfits team looked up into the sky. The stick went about 20 feet before exploding into a brilliant display of fireworks, which instantly began shimmering down right on top of Trixie. Twilight and Rarity both had their jaws nearly touching the ground, easily stunned at what they just saw. Apple Bloom, Cheerilee and Pinkie were all cheering and clopping for Trixie. Trixie herself looked to be shocked of all.

Trixie: *looking down at her hooves, which were both slightly red from having rubbed them together so hard* Did…did Trixie...really just do that? Ha…haha…she DID do that…of COURSE she did! *she grins and instantly puffs out her chest* She IS the Great and Powerful Trixie, after all!

“Trixie! Trixie! Trixie!” Apple Bloom and Pinkie both cheered, bowing to the egotistic unicorn as Cheerilee proudly patted her on the back.

“Yes, yes, that’s right, bow and worship the Great and Powerful Trixie!” Trixie gloated, patting both Pinkie and Apple Bloom’s heads and giving a nod to Cheerilee, “Twilight Sparkle, Rarity, surely you both would like to pay your respects, too? Even though CLEARLY you didn’t DOUBT Trixie’s powers, right?” It was Trixie’s turn to grin at the two stunned unicorns. She had no idea how she did it, but somehow she had did what she said she was gonna do and had put Twilight and Rarity in their places. 

Twilight: *shaking her head like crazy* That…that COULDN’T have happened! There is no way Trixie is who she said she was! There HAD to be something amiss…something I didn’t see… *now it was her turn to look a little jealous, since obviously she didn’t have “chakra powers” like Trixie*

While Twilight and Rarity both grit their teeth and swallowed their pride and attempted to give Trixie some soft compliments, Scootaloo finally reappeared behind the cheering ponies. She was carrying a big jug of soda pop on her back and had an excited look on her face. She instantly bucked the soda off, popped the lid, and began chugging it down as fast as she could. Naturally, Rainbow Dash would commend her for attempting such a hard task, and Pinkie would be very proud, too. It wasn’t until Trixie finally began calming down from her gloating that the team realized that Scootaloo was back. By that time, the little Pegasus was just finishing up her gallon of soda pop.

“Scootaloo!” Cheerilee gasped, “That CANNOT be good for you! Drinking that much soda has a ton of sugar! Think about your health! Think about your diet! Think about your teeth!” In response, Scootaloo moaned slightly and her cheeks bulged out. Slowly, the Magical Misfits scooted away just in time before the small Pegasus opened her mouth and began belching loudly.

“A-B-C-D-E-F-G-H-I-J-K-L-M-N-O-P-Q-R-S-T-U-V-W-X-Y-Z!” Scootaloo managed to burp out, all in one big belch that lasted nearly 10 seconds. After her disgusting performance was done, she grinned sheepishly at her team. Apple Bloom didn’t know WHAT to think, Cheerilee was TRYING to look proud, Pinkie looked absolutely thrilled, but the three unicorns, Twilight, Rarity and Trixie, all looked beyond repulsed and sick to their stomachs. 

“Did I just hear what I THINK I heard?” Rainbow Dash called out, instantly flying over and grinning proudly down at Scootaloo, “Scoots, don’t tell me you just…” However, when she saw the empty jug of soda pop and the slightly bulging belly of Scootaloo, she knew that it had to be true. “Aww yeah…you totally DID! Scoots, that’s AWESOME! You rule!” 

“I…I do?” Scootaloo squeaked, suddenly being hugged by her idol and playfully given a noogie as well. Soon, Apple Bloom, Cheerilee and Pinkie all trotted over and began complimenting Scootaloo, too. The little filly was left giggling and happily taking in all the attention, but mostly snuggling into Rainbow’s chest and trying to hide her blush. Twilight, Trixie and Rarity all hung back, still looking nauseated. Rarity had a hoof over her mouth, Trixie had her tongue sticking out, and Twilight was making one of her famous “I’m gonna be sick” faces. 

“Girls…it’s times like this that make me proud to be a unicorn,” Twilight sniffed, nodding to Trixie and Rarity and holding her stomach as she said so.

“No…a CIVILIZED unicorn, darling,” Rarity moaned, her cheeks slightly green as she shivered a bit, “I fear that I’m gonna be scarred for life after what I just saw.”

“For once, Trixie agrees with both of you,” Trixie groaned, putting a hoof to her forehead, “Trixie thinks she needs some fresh air…away from here.” Slowly, the three unicorns began edging away from Scootaloo and her cheering fans.

Scootaloo: *laughing* Did ya all hear me? I totally burped the entire alphabet! And…and then… *a massive blush appeared on her face, followed by a stupid grin* …Rainbow Dash hugged me…tight.

“So…what was that all about, Dash?” Applejack asked, raising an eyebrow as Rainbow Dash flew back over to her team. 

“Oh, just Scootaloo drinking a gallon of soda pop and belching the alphabet,” Rainbow said with a grin, “I couldn’t be prouder of her; they grow up so fast, you know?”

“I could totally do it faster than she did,” Spike bragged. 

“How…is that…something to be PROUD of?” Celestia asked, looking just as disgusted as her student. 

“Like, it ISN’T,” Diamond Tiara frowned, “What do you expect from a blank flank, though? Everything they do is totally lame. Don’t you agree, Silver Spoon?” 

“Um…uh…well, that is…I totally can see…uh…hey, Zecora, wasn’t it your turn to try out?” Silver Spoon squeaked, quickly turning away from Diamond Tiara and looking at Zecora. The very hint of a smile crossed Zecora’s lips when she saw Silver Spoon refuse to answer Diamond’s rude question.

“Indeed, it was my turn to display a special skill,” Zecora responded, “Something very interesting I can do; shock you, it will! Please wait while I get what I need; your anticipation is what I shall feed.” The zebra walked off into her team’s cabin, and much like Twilight, she returned a moment later with a strange assortment of vials and potions that she had brought from home, along with a tiny cauldron.

“Um…Zecora…are you sure that this is…safe?” Fluttershy asked meekly, slowly backing away as Zecora set down the small cauldron, “Not to doubt you or anything, but…well, I’m just saying…”

“Do not worry, my dear Fluttershy,” Zecora reassured her, “There is no chance for anyone to die. This is just gonna be a miracle brew; mixed together to form a delicious stew. These ingredients that I have are not at all scary; combining them to make a potion should not make you weary.” 

“So…it’s basically creating a brew that is actually a delicious potion?” Luna asked, watching as Zecora started a mini fire underneath her cauldron and began mixing strange, bubbly ingredients together within it. The entire team curiously gathered around, always having been interested in watching how Zecora worked her own special brand of magic. 

Applejack: Ah have to admit that, at first, ah was skeptical of Zecora and was convinced that she was…an evil enchantress, as Pinkie Pie pointed out. But, gettin’ to know her, she’s really a great gal.

“Now, I shall add the fur of a rabbit’s coat…the thorn of a jellyfish’s sting…the petals of some poison joke…and the molting of a Pegasus’ wing,” Zecora whispered, slowly mixing the ingredients together into a gooey blue paste, “Now, watch as the brew boils as one to create a healing broth stronger than the sun!” 

“A healing broth stronger than the sun? Like, no way!” Diamond Tiara gasped, peering into the cauldron. As the azure mixture bubbled even more from the soft flames lapping underneath its prison, the cauldron suddenly began to rock violently back and forth. The mixture began to turn from blue to red, and cracks began appearing in the sides of the cauldron with steam rising out of them.

“Uh, Zecora, is it SUPPOSED to do that?” Silver Spoon asked, slowly backing up along with the rest of her team. Zecora herself seemed to be lost in thought for a moment, then she gasped and looked a bit sheepish. With a grin, she turned back to her team.

“I fear that I got my recipe a bit wrong,” she confessed, a large cloud of black smoke now starting to explode out of the thrashing cauldron, “The petals of poison joke were a bit too long. It would be wise to now step away from the brew, since what’s gonna happen next will…” However, at that moment, Zecora was interrupted as the cauldron suddenly exploded into a million tiny black bits. Out from the depths of the destroyed cauldron flew the strange liquid, which had now once more turned back from red to blue. Celestia and Luna both managed to dodge all the debris and brew residue by anticipating the disaster and quickly flying up into the sky, but the rest of the team wasn’t so lucky.

“Zecora! Ya’ll did it to us AGAIN!” Applejack squeaked, brushing some blue goop out of her eyes as she glared UP at Zecora, “And this time, it WAS yer fault!” Applejack was now as tiny as an...well, an apple.

“Aw man, not AGAIN!” Rainbow Dash moaned, trying to flap her wings and finding that they were on backwards, “I hated this enough the FIRST time!”

“Silver Spoon, your cutie mark!” Diamond Tiara shrieked, pointing to her friend’s flank. Silver Spoon glanced back and discovered that her special cutie mark had been replaced with one of clown shoes. 

“Diamond Tiara, look at YOUR cutie mark!” Silver Spoon gulped, returning the pointing. Diamond Tiara was horrified to discover that she now had a cutie mark of a whoopee cushion.

“Fluttershy…could you please fill me in here?” Celestia asked, quickly landing and looking at the yellow Pegasus, “What happened? Why is everypony…well, different?”

“…I don’t wanna talk about it,” Fluttershy muttered, only speaking in a very deep, manly voice. Celestia was instantly taken aback by this, while Luna was left laughing her head off when the moon goddess landed next to her sister a moment later.

“Ugh…what…hit…me?” Spike whimpered, now having a large lump on his head, since one of the flying pieces of cauldron had struck him hard. Thankfully, none of the blue potion got on him, so he was safe from any humorous side effects of the poison joke.

“Dear sister, doesn’t this look like the effects of that type of plant found in the Everfree Forest?” Luna chuckled, “My guess is that Zecora used an accidental overdose and now our team is suffering from it.”

“Oh, yes…I seem to recall something like this happening to my dear student, Twilight, and her friends,” Celestia muttered, “Funny thing is…I don’t really remember caring that much or bothering to help…”

Diamond Tiara: *crying her head off* This is TOTALLY the worst thing that could ever happen! My beautiful cutie mark has been replaced by…by…THIS monstrosity! *she looks back in horror at her new cutie mark of a whoopee cushion* I’m scarred for life! That zebra will pay for this!

“HEY!” Nightmare Moon screamed, poking her head out of the mess hall and glaring at the Ruffians, “Which one of you foals just blasted a hole in my kitchen?” She motioned towards a small, sizzling hole that had been torn open when a piece of cauldron went blasting through only moments before.

“That was an unfortunate side effect from my brew,” Zecora confessed, also free of any poison joke affects, “I’m sure that you can fix that up with your camera crew.”

“Oh no, little zebra, YOU’RE gonna be fixing it!” Nightmare Moon growled, teleporting a hammer, some nails, and some pieces of wood over to Zecora, “Now, get to work, or I’m using you as a taste-tester for my new food!” Looking nervous at this, Zecora looked back at her team for help, but none of them were paying her any mind. They were too busy either complaining about their new plights or about what they were gonna do now for the talent show. With a small sigh, Zecora slowly moved her tools along towards the large hole in the mess hall, knowing she had no choice.

Zecora: *annoyed* Back in my homelands, forcing a zebra to work is considered rude. Repairing the mess hall with such faulty tools is quite crude. *she looks at her hammer and sighs again*

“Great…NOW what are we gonna do?” Rainbow Dash grumbled, “I can’t perform any of my tricks with my wings like THIS; I’ll probably kill myself!”

“Or somepony else,” Applejack squeaked, now sitting on Rainbow Dash’s head so that her team could hopefully hear her better, “But we can’t just give up. We can still come up with somethin’, ah’m sure of it! We just have to put our heads together and come up with somethin’ really amazin’ and such.”

“And exactly what did you have in mind, little Applejack?” Luna asked, “My sister and I cannot use our magic, you are tiny, Rainbow Dash’s wings are useless, Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon have funny cutie marks, Spike has a headache, Fluttershy now sounds like a colt, and I’m pretty sure we’re not going to be using Zecora.”

“Well…let’s see…” Applejack muttered, tapping her chin with one of her tiny hooves as she observed her distorted team. It really did look bad at the moment; how would it even be possible for their team to put together something talented with each camper either under the effects of the poison joke or just void of special talents? Applejack knew that she could probably perform with her skills, but now that she was tiny and there was no way for a special curing bath to be drawn on the island, they were in trouble.

Applejack: *forced to lift the toilet seat up and sit on the very top, so she could be seen* This is so embarrassin’, believe me…this already happened to me once before! Now we got ourselves quite a predicament, ah reckon. The only ones not affected are the princesses and Spike…but what can they do?

“Princess Celestia? Princess Luna? Spike? You three are our only hope,” Applejack said, hopping over and tapping the three on their legs or hooves, “The rest of us can’t possibly perform brilliantly without fallin’ flat on our faces. You three have to perform for us.”

“But…Applejack…I told you that I really don’t have any talents!” Celestia complained, looking nervous again, “At least none that I can do without the use of my magic…I just do not wish to disappoint you.”

“You sound just like our resident egghead, Princess,” Rainbow Dash teased, of course meaning Twilight. However, when Applejack shot her a glare, Dash gulped and went silent; even at a small size, Applejack was not one you wanted to tick off.

“Ugh…what were you saying?” Spike asked, now sporting an icepack over the bump on his head, “I wasn’t really listening, since this ringing in my ears still hasn’t gone away…where’s my darling Rarity when I really need her?”

“Little Applejack, I appreciate you wanting us to perform, but…I must agree with my sister,” Luna sighed, “There’s no way we can do something like this…I have never even performed for ANYPONY before, unless you count that one time when my big sister decided to try mind control on me and…”

“SISTER, SHUSH!” Celestia snapped, quickly slapping a hoof over Luna’s mouth as she had begun to blush at what Luna was about to reveal.

“Hey, I got it!” Rainbow Dash called out, “Princesses, why don’t you both get into a ‘yo momma’ insult competition? That would be hilarious, and you’re bound to get us some points, since it’ll be so weird and unexpected!” She grinned at the two princess ponies, but her grin faded when she saw her entire team giving her strange looks.

“What is this…yo momma…stuff?” Luna asked, completely confused, “And…what did I just say?”

“Rainbow Dash, are you crazy?!?!” Applejack squeaked, running up to the Pegasus and slapping her on the hoof, “What in tarnation are ya’ll thinkin’?!?!”

“Quiet, AJ, you had your chance,” Dash smirked, kicking Applejack and sending her flying off into the distance, “As for your question, Luna, I’ll explain it all to you and Princess Celestia. Take a walk with me, alright? I can’t really use my wings right now without flying into something.” 

“What about me?” Spike asked, “I was asked to perform as well!” 

“…I’ll teach you how to do some beatboxing,” Dash chuckled, turning and trotting off, “Come on, you three; I’ll teach you all there is to know!” Glancing at each other nervously, Celestia, Luna and Spike all casually followed after the blue Pegasus, unsure of what she had in store for them.

Spike: What does beatboxing mean? Does it mean I have to beat up some boxes? If so, what kind of talent is that? I’m better off showing how talented I am eating gems! *he grinned a little bit*

Celestia: I have no reason to doubt what Twilight’s dear friend says, but…um, just saying the words “yo momma” already makes me shiver…what IS she up to? *she rubs her horn thoughtfully*

Hours later, the talent show was just getting under way. Discord and Nightmare Moon were the two judges, who could confer with one another before giving each contestant a score from 1-10 for how they performed. The team with the greatest total out of 30 points would be declared the winner. Twilight had chosen Rarity and Trixie to join her in performing for her team, since she thought they would get more points since they were unicorns and thus were seem as useless without their magic. Therefore, seeing them use other talents would hopefully garner them extra points. Rarity had instantly accepted the challenge, while Trixie was a bit more nervous about it.

The Royal Ruffians, since they had more players, were given the honor of choosing which team would perform first; Discord didn’t seem to really care that more than half of the team were under the effects of poison joke. Rainbow Dash had stated that they wanted to go first, and that all three of their performers would be going at the same time. Discord and Nightmare Moon looked intrigued by this, and were already curious to see what they were going to do.

Rainbow Dash: Well, I did all that I could for them; it’s up to them to go out there and perform. *she grumbles and slaps her wings* Stupid wings…why did you have to go all backwards on me? I should be out there instead! I hope Scootaloo won’t feel disappointed that I’m not performing… *she sighs*

A large stage had been set up by Nightmare Moon for the six campers to perform upon. Backstage, Celestia and Luna were looking very nervous and uncomfortable with what they had been taught, while Spike seemed to be doing exercises with his mouth. The Magical Misfits and Royal Ruffians that were currently on stage were sitting in bleachers that Discord had brought out to make the outdoor scenery seem even more like a theater. When the Misfits saw the Ruffians, they were instantly interested in what had happened to them.

“Big sis…uh, little sis…get into another fight with poison joke?” Apple Bloom teased, giggling as she looked down at her angry sister.

“Oh dear…Diamond Tiara, Silver Spoon, your cutie marks!” Cheerilee pointed out, but when both girls began to cry, the teacher quickly turned a negative into a positive, “Don’t cry, my little ponies. It was never your cutie marks that made you both beautiful and special; it was what was on the INSIDE. Besides, it’s not like it’s permanent, right?”

“I DON’T CARE! I’M HIDEOUS!” Diamond Tiara shrieked, “MY LIFE IS SO RUINED!”

“What’s wrong with YOU?” Trixie asked, poking at Fluttershy, “Cat got your tongue?” Fluttershy just shook her head and refused to talk. Trixie continued to pester the Pegasus, but Fluttershy continued to reject her. Eventually, Twilight forced Trixie to leave Fluttershy alone, since the purple unicorn had a good idea what Fluttershy’s ailment was.

Twilight: Believe me, I know just how…eh-hem…painful poison joke can be. *she glanced up at her horn and gave it a gentle pat* It made me even more thankful for what I have, believe you me.

“Where’s Zecora at?” Pinkie asked, looking around and not seeing her anywhere.

Zecora: *completely exhausted from fixing the hole in the mess hall, since it was way out of her element, and she was now sleeping on the very same toilet that Pinkie had slept on before*

“The last time I saw her…I believe she was complaining about how she hurt her hoof with a hammer,” Rarity stated, “I do believe she was near the mess hall…what was all that about, I wonder?”

“Rainbow Dash looks kinda cute with her wings on backwards,” Scootaloo sighed, watching her idol head backstage to check on the two princesses and dragon, “She looks perfect no matter what, if you ask me…what?” She noticed that her entire team was staring at her, so she quickly leaned back and closed her eyes, trying to act cool like Rainbow Dash and just ignore the looks.

Scootaloo: They’re all just jealous that Rainbow Dash likes ME best and that she’s MY idol! *she sticks out her tongue* She’s so amazing; I would do ANYTHING for her…and I mean ANYTHING.

“How are you feeling, princesses?” Rainbow Dash asked after coming backstage to check on her team’s stars, “Oh, and what about you, Spike?” Spike, however, was ignoring Rainbow Dash and not seemed to be clicking his tongue in a somewhat rhythmic way. 

“I…I don’t know if I can do this, Rainbow Dash,” Celestia stammered, “This…this just seems…really, really mean…this is way out of my element.”

“You said it, sis,” Luna sighed, “Rainbow Dash, I do not think I can do this, either. Even if we’re just playing around, it seems…cruel and unusual.”

“Don’t think of it that way, ladies,” Dash said, “Just out there and have fun, okay? Even if we lose…we can always vote off Zecora. In fact, if you want, you don’t have to perform at all. That way, we’ll lose and then we can just vote off Zecora for screwing up her potion and making this happen to us.”

“That doesn’t make us feel any better,” Celestia frowned, “And I refuse to let us lose so that we could get rid of Zecora that easily. If it’s a show you want, then it’s a show you will get! Ready, sister?”

“Indeed, sister,” Luna nodded, narrowing her eyes at Rainbow Dash, “Stand back and watch us work.”

Rainbow Dash: *she grins and winks at the camera* Some reverse…uh…psychology? Yeah, that’s what Twilight called it. Some reverse psychology worked perfectly in this situation. Sometimes, the two princesses can be SO easy to manipulate. *she giggled and put on her black glasses* It’s show time! 

“OKAY, LET’S GET THE FIRST ANNUAL TALENT SHOW OF TOTAL MAGIC PONY ISLAND UNDER WAY!” Discord announced, sitting at a judges’ table with Nightmare Moon right in front of the stage and using his megaphone, for really no reason other than hearing his voice booming out more than it should, “WE’VE BEEN TOLD THAT THE THREE PERFORMERS FOR THE RUFFIANS WILL ALL PERFORM AT THE SAME TIME. WILL THEY NOW PLEASE TAKE THE STAGE?”

“All three at once? This should be interesting,” Twilight mused from the stands, “And…judging from which of their teammates is sitting here with us, that means that both Princess Celestia and Princess Luna must be performing…with Spike? Wow, this should be REALLY interesting.”

A moment later, both princesses stepped out onto the stage; they were followed closely by Spike, who was holding a microphone in his right hand. When they bowed politely to their audience (not necessarily to Discord or Nightmare Moon), the two judges informed them that they could start whenever they wanted. With a quick nod, both princesses slowly stepped away from each other as Spike backed away from both of them. From there, the threesome began to act.

“What do you think YOU’RE looking at, little pony?” Celestia hissed, glaring at Luna and putting her nose in the air, “You should know your place, little one. Despite my size, I am much more powerful than you and I could send you to the moon if I wanted. Show your respect and kiss my hooves at once, peasant.”

“What is this that I’m hearing? How DARE you speak to me in such a tone!” Luna growled, stepping forward and getting into Celestia’s face, “I would never show respect to one as rude and stuck up like you! You’re so stupid, you went to school and you flunked recess!” Luna’s last comment incited a few snickers from the audience. 

“Oh, is that right, little foal?” Celestia smirked, pushing her face right back into Luna’s and putting on a very interesting troll-like grin, “Aww, but I’m afraid that you do not know what ‘stupid’ IS; allow me to educate you! You see, YOU’RE so stupid that you went to participate in an idiot contest, and they said ‘I’m sorry, but no professionals’!” Even though Twilight was horrified by this display, once more the rest of the audience was snickering.

“What is this that I’m hearing?” Spike asked, suddenly racing into the picture and grinning while wearing his icepack like a hat, “I know JUST how to settle this argument! It’s time for a ‘yo momma’ competition! The one to spit the best insults about the other’s mother will be declared the obvious winner! Are you girls ready to throw down?”

“Uh…yes, I am ready to…throw it down,” Luna said, somewhat awkwardly.

“Prepare to taste defeat, you silly little filly,” Celestia said, still wearing her creepy grin, “Little dragon, if you could…give us a little more appropriate ambiance, would you please?” With a nod, Spike stepped back and held the microphone up to his mouth. Then, the little dragon began to beatbox, which instantly got a ton of shocked and amused faces from the audience.

Rarity: WHAT in all of Equestria was Spike doing, making all those DREADFULLY awful sounds? Was that supposed to be a TALENT? *she sighs and shakes her head* Boys.

“Yo momma so dumb that she tried to put M&M's in alphabetical order!” Celestia started. 

“Yo momma so dumb she took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept!” Luna countered.

“Yo momma so ugly that just after she was born, her mother said, ‘What a treasure!’ and her father said, ‘Yeah, let's go bury it!’!” Celestia continued.

“Yo momma so ugly she made an onion cry!” Luna shouted.

“Yo momma so fat she jumped up in the air and got stuck!” Celestia smirked.

“Yo momma so fat, when she turns around, ponies give her a welcome back party!” Luna snickered. 

“Yo momma so dumb she got locked in Sugarcube Corner and starved!” Celestia laughed.

“Yo momma so smart she liked me better than you when I was born!” Luna grinned.

“Yo…wait, what?!?!” Celestia gasped, before angrily wrapping a hoof around Luna’s left ear and yanking her offstage, “You and I are gonna have a little talk, and I mean RIGHT NOW!” Thankfully, as the yelping Luna was tugged offstage, the entire audience was too busy laughing their heads off to notice. Spike continued his beatboxing for a few more seconds, before quickly improvising with the situation.

“Oh no, it seems that Celestia got into a huff and attacked Luna!” he gasped, pointing offstage to what couldn’t be seen, “That’s an automatic disqualification! That means that Luna is our winner! But, you know what? If you ask me, those two ladies are so dumb that they put lipstick on their heads just to make-up their minds!” Naturally, Spike didn’t literally mean that, but it was his way of ending the show, and it got a standing ovation from the laughing audience.

“Oh, bravo, bravo!” Discord laughed, wiping away some tears as he clapped hard and Spike bowed, “You three are a riot! Nightmare Moon, what do you think we should give them?”

“Well, it was highly entertaining to see those clever insults being fired back and forth,” Nightmare Moon chuckled, “But, it’s not like any of that was really THAT hard. Sure, it was funny, but was it a talent? I’d say to give them each seven points, to be fair.”

“Seven points each for a total of 21 points out of a possible 30? Sounds good to me!” Discord smirked, “The Royal Ruffians’ score to beat is 21, putting the pressure on the Misfits. Can they counter that?”

Celestia: *moodily* Do not worry; my temper is back under control. Luna just needed a little reminder on not crossing the line in the sand, that’s all.

Luna: *moaning and rubbing her rump with a hoof, which had red markings all over it, as though she had been spanked* Ouch…the truth hurts…but, I’m still the one laughing in the end!

“WILL TWILIGHT, RARITY AND TRIXIE PLEASE PREPARE THEMSELVES?” Discord blared out through his megaphone, “YOU THREE ARE NEXT! LET’S MAKE IT GOOD!”

“It’s show time, ladies,” Rarity smiled, sitting up and nodding to Twilight and Trixie, “Shall we head backstage and get ready?”

“Yes, let’s,” Twilight said, getting up and following after Rarity, “Trixie, would you like to go first? Starting our show with a bang might be a good way to…”

“NO!” Trixie yelled, “Um…what Trixie meant was…she much prefers to go last. You know…best for last and everything, right?” She forced one of her proud smiles, to which Twilight and Rarity both rolled their eyes at. There was obviously going to be no arguing with Trixie.

“Very well, Trixie, have it your way,” Twilight sighed, “I’ll go first, then Rarity, and you can go last. Now, let’s show them how talented we unicorns are and how we don’t need our horns to succeed!”

“You said it, darling!” Rarity shouted, “I have my carving target all set up and it’s gonna be divine once I get through with it.” 

“And…Trixie is gonna blow them all away,” Trixie muttered, following the girls backstage.

Trixie: *she looks down at her hooves and takes a deep breath* Okay…so, Trixie obviously has powers that…even SHE was unaware of. So…she can easily tap into them again…no worries. 

“FIRST, WE HAVE TWILIGHT AND HER…potato energy machine?” Discord blinked, looking at his clipboard, “Did I read that correctly?”

“I’m shocked you can read at all,” Nightmare Moon smirked. While Discord glared at his cohort, the stage curtain was pulled open and Twilight was standing proudly on a pile of potatoes, wires, and many more of the items that she had from earlier.

“My friends, please allow me to introduce you to a new type of energy!” Twilight announced, leaping off her pile of goodies and grinning with excitement, “Watch as I create a potato energy machine that will be strong enough to light all of Ponyville!” 

“Oh, goody, our resident egghead is going at it,” Rainbow Dash moaned, leaning back in her seat and closing her eyes, “Wake me when she’s done…which I’ll guessing will be sometime tomorrow.”

“Hey, Dash, have you seen Applejack?” Spike asked, looking around nervously, “She’s not here…and since she’s so small, we really have to be careful what we do.”

“Aw, stop worrying, you still dragon,” Dash yawned, wiggling her butt as she settled into her seat, “She knows how to take care of herself; I’m sure she just went to the confessional or something.” The naughty blue Pegasus had failed to hear the soft squishing sound a while ago when she had returned to the bleachers after giving Celestia and Luna some encouragement. She also failed to feel a certain tiny pony being squashed into a tattoo under her booty.

Spike: *creeping around the confessional* Applejack? Are you in here? *he notices Zecora sleeping on the floor, since she had rolled off a long time ago* Applejack? *looks under Zecora* Nope.

“…and voilà! Enough energy to power Ponyville!” Twilight smiled, standing in front of a large machine that was filled with potatoes and wires and was shining very brightly, “Isn’t this amazing?” When she noticed that the entire audience was asleep, including Celestia, the unicorn frowned and stomped her hoof in irritation. “HEY! Did any of you even hear what I said or watched what I did?”

“Ugh…huh?” Discord asked, yawning and lifting his eyelids, “What happened? Did I take over Equestria yet? Where’s my Celestia servant?”

“We’re on Camp Paradox, bonehead,” Nightmare Moon frowned, rubbing her eyes with her hooves. 

“Now see here, this is rude!” Twilight barked, “I’m trying to give you all a very important lesson on conserving energy! Do you even realize how much energy is lost per year due to negligence? If we all just push a little harder to do the right thing, we very easily could…”

“Just give her a 10 so she shuts up and gets off the stage,” Nightmare Moon whispered to Discord.

“Agreed,” Discord grumbled, pulling up his megaphone, “TWILIGHT SPARKLE EARNS 10 POINTS FOR HER TEAM AFTER HER…BRILLIANT DISPLAY OF…SOMETHING. NOW, IT’S RARITY’S TURN!” 

“I wasn’t done yet!” Twilight snapped, but after getting a warning glare from Nightmare Moon, she grumbled and pushed her potato energy machine off the stage.

Twilight: Does nopony around here appreciate ways to make Equestria a better place? And why is Zecora sleeping in the corner over there? *she looks down at the zebra, who was off-camera*

“Now, as you can see, this is nothing more than a simple bush that I had Pinkie dig up for me in the forest,” Rarity explained, standing next to a big shrub, “However, observe how I, Rarity, turn it into a work of art, using nothing more than my horn…without magic!”

“Thrill us,” Nightmare Moon said sarcastically. In response, Rarity dipped her head and flew right into the bush. Using a bizarre display of slashes, cuts, swipes, and other weird motions, Rarity began using her sharp horn to cut the shrub into some kind of shape. It only took two minutes for her masterpiece to be done. Discord and Nightmare Moon both gasped as they saw what Rarity had made.

“Oh, the beauty…the expression…the detail…so perfect!” Discord gushed, floating up and twirling around the piece of shrubbery that now was a perfect replica of both himself and Nightmare Moon.

“It really captures my beautiful body and shows how I’m the best princess!” Nightmare Moon grinned, “That’s an easy 10 points, right, Discord?”

“Without a doubt!” Discord smiled, quickly picking up the shrub and carrying it off, “This is going right in front of our trailer. Please excuse us for a moment.” While Rarity smiled proudly and patted her own chest, Discord and Nightmare Moon hurried off to replant their new prize.

Rarity: While creating beautiful things is half of it, the other half is knowing how to…please your customers. *she winks at the camera* Oh, Rarity, you are SO shrewd…and you know you love it!

“This is so easy; the challenge is in the bag,” Twilight smiled, sitting with Rarity and the rest of her team in the bleachers, “All Trixie needs is one point to tie, and two points to win! Anypony could get THAT. This challenge is ours!”

Meanwhile, backstage, Trixie was nervously pacing back and forth. She kept looking down at her hooves, then looking up at the sky, then back at her hooves again. She was sure that she could channel her chakra that she never knew she had and perform her magic once more and send the audience into awe. She was sure to get the attention and praise that she so rightfully deserved. That was, until, she heard Discord and Nightmare Moon talking on their way back from the planting of their prize.

“Hey, Discord, you need to watch what you leave lying around,” Nightmare Moon scolded, “I found another one of your bottle rockets near the edge of the forest earlier. As funny as it would be to see one of the campers try something with it, you know we can’t seriously hurt them without having our ratings drop due to violence.”

“Oh, so THAT’S where I dropped those fireworks,” Discord laughed, “I made a trip to Ponyville during the night and accidentally dropped some bottle rockets on my way back; didn’t think anything of it. But, don’t worry; it’s not like any of the campers can use them. They can’t use magic, and I doubt they could use fire without it.” 

“Bottle…rocket?” Trixie said slowly, before slowly widening her eyes in horror, “Oh…oh no…”

“OKAY, WE’RE BACK!” Discord announced, “TRIXIE, YOU MAY PERFORM YOUR MAGIC FOR US NOW. AMAZE US WITH HOW YOU CAN MAKE MAGIC WITHOUT YOUR HORN!” Trixie was now left horrified, shaking like a leaf behind the curtain. The stick she had randomly grabbed was just a random stick, and there was no time to quickly go and try to find another one. Even if she tried, Nightmare Moon had most likely already picked them all up. 

“No…this can’t be happening…not again!” Trixie cried, holding her head in her hooves, “Trixie was already humiliated once in Ponyville…not here, too…NO!”

“NOW, TRIXIE!” Discord yelled, “EITHER GET OUT HERE NOW OR YOU GET A ZERO FOR YOUR TEAM!”

“How much do you wanna bet she’s making us wait on purpose?” Twilight grumbled, “Always wanting a flashy entrance…she never learns.”

“Okay…it’s okay…you can do this, Trixie,” Trixie gulped, very slowly walking towards the curtain as she carried the stick on top of her head, “You are…the Great and Powerful Trixie…you are better than them…now go out there and PROVE it!” With that, she took a deep breath, and pushed her way past the curtain and stepped onto the stage.

“AH, AND HER MAJESTY HAS ARRIVIED,” Discord said sarcastically, always using his megaphone, “THANKS FOR GRACING US WITH YOUR PRESENCE, TRIXIE. ARE YOU READY FOR YOUR TALENT?”

“But of course,” Trixie said, sitting down in the middle of the stage and closing her eyes, “Allow Trixie to explain what she will be performing for you all.” She then went on to repeat what she had already said to her team. Discord was immediately interested, since if what Trixie was saying was true, she could become a huge player in the game. Nightmare Moon was also very curious how a little unicorn like her could hold such amazing inner power. All eyes in the audience were soon upon her, and Trixie found that it was time to put up or shut up.

Very slowly, Trixie cupped her front hooves together around her stick and closed her eyes. Once again, she started to rub her hooves together as hard as she could while clenching her teeth and trying to use her “inner power” to make the stick burst up into the sky and turn into fireworks. However, there was no drama to be had this time. Trixie had barely begun squeezing her stick when it snapped into two and fell onto the stage in front of her. Immediately, the audience looked at the piece of broken stick, then very slowly raised their eyes back up to meet Trixie.

“Uh…hehe…this stick was just not the right one, that’s all,” Trixie laughed weakly, tossing the remaining tiny piece in her hooves aside, “Trixie demands another stick!”

“Very well,” Discord said, simply reaching down on the ground and picking up another random stick and tossing it up to the unicorn, “Now, if you could get on with it, please, I’d be ever so thankful.”

“You cannot rush brilliance,” Trixie sniffed, clutching the new stick in her hooves, “Now, shut up and watch as the Great and Powerful Trixie…” However, no sooner had she began closing her eyes, when the same thing happened. The stick snapped in her hooves and fell onto the stage. 

“…let me guess, that one was not a good stick, either?” Nightmare Moon frowned. The entire audience was starting to get annoyed, and Discord was looking very bored. 

“Y-yes…t-that’s correct…another b-bad stick!” Trixie gulped, throwing away the broken piece again, “She requires one more…the third time is the charm with Trixie, you see.”

“Fine…one more time…now, hurry up!” Discord snapped, throwing her yet another stick that he found underneath the stage. Trixie quickly grabbed the third stick, but her hooves were now sweaty and she found herself barely able to grip it.

“Okay…please be silent…this time, you will be graced with fireworks that are so amazing that you will not believe your…” Trixie squeaked, but yet again, the stick snapped in her hooves and fell onto the stage. This time, Trixie’s failure was followed by a very uncomfortable silence. Each and every eye in the audience was on the unicorn, but this was not the kind of attention that Trixie had wanted. These were not eyes of admiration and praise. They were eyes of anger and mockery.

“…you’re a fraud,” Discord’s voice cut through the silence, taking some notes on his clipboard, “And, while I’m all for playing tricks, this is not funny. Congratulations, Trixie; you just earned your team zero points. So, that leaves the score at 20 points for the Misfits and 21 points for the Ruffians.”

“Trixie…let’s see if you can do math,” Nightmare Moon mocked, “Which number is greater: 20 or 21?”

“…21?” Trixie whimpered, trying to make herself look as small as possible.

“Correct! Wow, amazing, she actually DOES know something!” Discord gasped, “What a miracle! But, yes, the Royal Ruffians win the challenge thanks to their hilarious ‘yo momma’ show and beatboxing. Misfits, I’m sorry, but you lose…and by one point no less. Painful, but that’s life. I’ll be seeing you all at the elimination ceremony in two hours. Have fun until then!” 

“Oh, and Ruffians?” Nightmare Moon said, “I’ll have a cure for your poison joke waiting for you in the infirmary. As much as I enjoy seeing you like this, it wouldn’t do for the show, so stop by in a while.” Together, the draconequus and dark mare both headed off, while the Ruffians celebrated their win. Trixie’s only reward was the heavy glares and looks of disappointment from her team.

Trixie: *wrapping her hind legs around her body as she clenched her eyes shut and rocked back and forth on the toilet. Discord’s words “you’re a fraud” lingered in her mind, and was killing her more and more with each passing moment. A tear was almost visible on one of her eyes for a moment*

“Trixie…you didn’t have to lie,” Cheerilee sighed, being the first to talk to Trixie when the blue unicorn finally forced herself off the stage, “If you couldn’t do anything without your magic, you could’ve said so. We wouldn’t have thought any less of you.”

“Cheerilee, don’t bother,” Twilight snapped, her glare possibly being the most painful and angry of all, “You can’t teach an old mare new tricks. She’s a liar and that’s all she ever will be. She knew from the start that she couldn’t channel hidden magic from inside of her. That ‘stick’ that she shot off was nothing more than a firework, which was lit when her hooves rubbed together and created friction to ignite the fuse. I should’ve realized it from the start.”

“And yet she STILL went through with all this,” Rarity frowned, “If you ask me, she WANTED us to lose. It wasn’t enough for her to be humiliated, but she wanted to drag all of us down with her. This unicorn isn’t even FIT to be called a unicorn…she is a disgrace.”

“Girls, that’s a bit harsh,” Cheerilee said, even though she herself wasn’t happy with Trixie’s deceit, “Can’t you tell that she feel bad for her actions?”

“Sorry, Cheerilee, but she’s a show-mare,” Twilight growled, “Therefore, she’s an actress; I don’t buy anything she says or does. I wanted to give her a chance, but this was the last straw. I did my part for my team, but a ‘team’ is only a ‘team’ if all the members do what they’re supposed to.”

“Yer a bad pony,” Apple Bloom frowned at Trixie, turning and trotting off, “C’mon, Scootaloo, let’s get outta here before we have to listen to her talk in the third person again.”

“Coming, Apple Bloom,” Scootaloo said, following after her, “Think they’ll let me take a bath with Dash? That would be so cool…”

“I’m hungry; let’s get some food!” Pinkie smiled, “Food always makes everypony feel better.” 

“I should’ve sung my song…at least I would’ve gotten a few points!” Derpy pouted, “At least I TRIED!” The sad Pegasus and the cheerful pink pony both headed off towards the mess hall. Cheerilee sighed, gave Trixie a sad look, then shook her head and headed off without a word. This left the three unicorns all together, two of them still looking beyond angry and one looking in pain.

“Trixie…I’m sorry, but…you don’t belong here,” Rarity said coolly, “Obviously, you do not know what it means to be a team. There is no ‘I’ in team, so until you learn that, I’m afraid you do not belong here. I did believe Twilight when she said that you would one day learn from your arrogance, but…it seems that that day has not yet come.” With those words, Rarity put her nose in the air and trotted off as well. This left Twilight and Trixie alone.

“Just…just tell me that you didn’t do this solely so that we would lose,” Twilight said slowly, “Please, Trixie, just say that you were honestly just trying to perform so that we could be proud of you and you could be the hero.”

“I…I…I didn’t do this on purpose,” Trixie blubbered, looking down at the ground, “I…I’m sorry…I’m very sorry…Trixie didn’t mean to do this…”

“You can’t even go two sentences without speaking in the third person!” Twilight spat, shaking her head, “Sorry, Trixie, but I don’t believe you. I really, really wanted to believe that you could change…but, like with Gilda, I guess some creatures…just cannot change. You are who you are…I see that now.” Slowly, Twilight turned away and sighed. She didn’t know why, but it hurt saying these things to Trixie. Trixie herself also felt the most pain from what Twilight was saying to her. The final two words that she spoke cut Trixie right to the heart. “Goodbye, Trixie.” 

Tears began to form in Trixie’s eyes as she watched the form of Twilight Sparkle trot off and soon vanish into the mess hall. She was left all alone, as she had been her entire life. She was a rejected, mocked, lying unicorn. She was a fraud and she had no friends. Feeling her throat tightening and her heart pounding inside of her chest, Trixie fell to the ground and began crying her eyes out. Tears poured out of her eyes and began forming a small mud puddle around the unicorn’s head, but she didn’t care. She was in so much pain that she didn’t really care what befell her anytime soon.

Nearly an entire hour passed, and no one had bothered to go and check on Trixie. The unicorn had continued to cry and cry, pounding her hooves into the ground and silently screaming. She just wanted to die. Was all she did for nothing? Was her life all for nothing? She didn’t want to live this way. But, what did she REALLY want? Did she want attention? Did she want friends? Did she want money? Did she want fame? Did she want…love? She didn’t know, but all she did know was that she was hurt…and it wasn’t about to end there.

“Fine…if that’s how they’re going to treat Trixie…fine,” Trixie sniffed, slowly lifting her head as she seemed eerily calm, “Two can play at that game. They want Trixie to be evil? Very well, Trixie will be evil. Beware, ponies, because the storm is coming…and there is no escape.” Her swollen eyes narrowing, Trixie slowly skulked towards the camp from the stage.

Trixie: *now looking very serious as she looked at the camera* They want to feel pain? Trixie is gonna make them feel pain. It starts tonight. Twilight Sparkle will be forced to watch and be helpless, as she made me. Yes…yes, it’ll be starting…tonight. The first step: secure Cheerilee’s vote.

“C-Cheerilee?” Trixie sobbed, peeking around the corner of her team’s cabin and finding Cheerilee sitting and looking up at the sky, “Can…can Trixie please t-talk to you?”

“Oh…Trixie…do come over,” Cheerilee said softly, patting the ground next to her with a hoof, “I can tell that you’ve been crying…come here and sit awhile, my dear.” With a nod, the sobbing Trixie ambled over and sat down next to the kindhearted school teacher. 

“Cheerilee…Trixie knows that…that she’s going home tonight,” Trixie whimpered, hanging her head, “And please do not try to say anything to make her think otherwise…Trixie knows it’s the truth, and so do you. But…all I wanted was…could you please…not vote for me? I never meant to hurt you…you’ve been so kind to me…and I don’t want my last memory of this place to see that you voted for me.”

Cheerilee looked a bit uncomfortable with this, and for a moment, she tried to read Trixie and see if she was being truthful. When Trixie continued to sob and even nuzzled up against Cheerilee, the teacher blinked and very softly placed a hoof around the unicorn. She realized that one vote wouldn’t make a difference; she DID know that Trixie would be going home, and there was nothing that could be done about it. So, the teacher decided to adhere to Trixie’s wish.

“Very well, Trixie,” Cheerilee smiled, “I do not wish to vote for somepony who does not deserve it, but…I suppose just wasting a vote on…Derpy…wouldn’t hurt. Please, don’t be sad. There is something to be learned from every painful experience, including this one. Take this negative and turn it into a positive, alright? Don’t worry…after I come home as well, I promise that I’ll still be your friend.”

“Y-you really mean all t-that?” Trixie gasped before giving Cheerilee a big hug, “Oh, thank you, thank you…this means the world to Trixie. To know that you will at least make her last night here a happy one is wonderful news…and that you will be her friend. Thank you…Trixie should go now, though; she wanted to keep walking around to clear her mind.”

“That’s a good idea, dear,” Cheerilee smiled, letting Trixie go as she gave the unicorn a gentle pat on the head, “You go ahead. If you need ANYTHING, please come talk to me, alright?”

“Yes, Trixie shall,” the unicorn smiled, turning and starting to trot off, “Thank you, Cheerilee!” The school teacher never saw the evil grin break out across Trixie’s face as the unicorn vanished around the side of the cabin again.

Trixie: *once more, looking very serious and angry* Step one is complete. Step two is not gonna be so easy, but it’s the most important one that Trixie must make sure she is successful at. If this part fails, she will fail…and Trixie will never…fail…again. Step two: manipulate Apple Bloom and Scootaloo.

“Girls? May Trixie please speak with you?” Trixie asked, peeking her head into the forest clearing and finding Apple Bloom and Scootaloo chatting with each other.

“What do YOU want?” Apple Bloom snapped, crossing her forelegs, “We don’t want to see you!”

“Yeah, and don’t think we’re gonna listen to what you have to say, either!” Scootaloo added.

“Yes, yes, you are right to hate Trixie…she would hate her too after what she did,” Trixie said calmly, “She knows that you are both going to vote for her no matter what. However, Trixie just thought that she would warn you two in private, since she won’t get a chance once she’s gone.”

“Warn us? About what?” Apple Bloom asked, raising an eyebrow.

“About how you both will be going next after I’m gone,” Trixie said solemnly. 

“WHAT?!?! WHO SAID THAT?!?!” Scootaloo screamed, “I don’t want to go this soon! I haven’t gotten that close to Rainbow Dash yet!”

“Twilight Sparkle said it,” Trixie said, “Trixie overheard her talking to Rarity about how she hates me, but that you two will be next to go, since you both are useless and not worth keeping around.”

“That’s a lie! Ah don’t believe that!” Apple Bloom growled, “Yer makin’ that up just to mess with us!”

“Am I?” Trixie asked, shaking her head, “Well, Trixie is just repeating to you what she heard. You did see that they voted off Sweetie Belle, did you not? All she did was make a little mistake like dropping a chicken egg. Instead, they have a zebra who nearly killed them today, not to mention a meek Pegasus who doesn’t do anything, two little fillies who are beyond arrogant, and a perverted dragon. Yet, they chose to get rid of Sweetie Belle…why is that?”

“Um…well…she…that is…” Scootaloo stammered, but realized that she couldn’t come up with a good answer. She looked at Apple Bloom, who looked back at her with the same worried expression. Slowly, both fillies looked back up at Trixie, trying to read her face. The unicorn looked totally serious.

“Trixie is voting for Twilight Sparkle tonight,” Trixie said plainly, “Whether or not you two decide to do the same is up to you. But, Trixie does not like how she operates, so she’s voting for who she thinks is the one who most deserves to go. Trixie would NEVER get rid of those who are smaller than her, since we ALL have powers to share.”

“But…but…Twilight…she’s our friend…” Apple Bloom whimpered, “She…she wouldn’t…”

“Is she? Do not forget that this is a game for a million bits,” Trixie pointed out, “Here, we are ALL enemies. There are no ‘friends’ here. In the end, only one will win, while all the rest crumble. It’s your choice, little fillies. Vote Trixie out tonight out of pure spite and what do you get? Nothing. Get rid of Twilight Sparkle and what do you get? Appreciation that you made a big move to get rid of a rotten little unicorn like her this early in the game. Trixie will let you two think about it. Farewell for now.” She gave the two fillies a nod, then turned and started trotting off, leaving a dead silence behind her. Once more, both fillies failed to see the evil smirk appearing on Trixie’s face.

Trixie: *with her forelegs crossed and the same serious look on her face* Step two is complete, and is sure to be a success. Step three shouldn’t be too difficult, since Trixie will be dealing with the two stupidest ponies in the camp, both who are on her team. Step three: bribe Pinkie Pie and Derpy Hooves.

“How are you girls doing?” Trixie asked cheerfully, trotting up to Pinkie and Derpy, “Did you both get the food you wanted?” Both girls were chatting outside of the mess hall, but upon seeing the seemingly happy Trixie trot up to them, they immediately looked confused.

“Well, Nightmare Moon didn’t give us any cupcakes or muffins, but the food WAS tasty,” Pinkie admitted, “How are you doing, Trixie? You seem to be in a better mood now. My Pinkie Sense was going off earlier, but it must’ve been wrong, since it was telling me that you were very mad and you were plotting something. But, you clearly aren’t, so yay!”

“Heh…yes, well…what reason do I have to not be happy?” Trixie smiled, her right eye very slightly twitching for a moment after what Pinkie said, “After all, she has you two to be her friends!”

“Um…you do?” Derpy asked, blinking and twirling her pupils around, “Since when did you want the two of us for friends? I thought you said that we were stupid.”

“No, no, Trixie never said that,” Trixie shook her head, “Trixie really likes both of you a lot. You are both so underappreciated and amazing. In fact, Trixie wanted to ask you both something.”

“Oh? And what might that be?” Pinkie asked.

“If you both vote with me tonight, I’ll get you both all the muffins and cupcakes that you could eat!” Trixie grinned, trying her best to look just as excited as ever. Pinkie and Derpy gasped as they heard this, and both immediately looked at each other. Both girls were very suspicious of Trixie acting this way, but upon looking into her eyes, the unicorn seemed to be truthful. However, they had to make sure.

“…cupcakes with extra-tasty frosting that melt in your mouth and are heaped with sugar?” Pinkie asked, slowly raising an eyebrow.

“…muffins with warm pats of butter on the tops and cooked with the finest break in Equestria?” Derpy asked, raising an eyebrow that was opposite Pinkie’s. 

“Yes to both,” Trixie smirked. 

“YAY!” Pinkie and Derpy cheered, hugging each other and instantly giving Trixie their word that they would vote with her tonight. With a chuckle, Trixie gave each excited girl a big hug before promising them that they would get their treats only after the elimination ceremony tonight. After that, Trixie once again put on an evil grin as she trotted away from the two giggling ponies.

Trixie: The pieces have been laid into place. You all still think Trixie is nothing? You all still think that Trixie a fraud? Well, this fraud is about to show you all exactly why it’s wrong to make her mad. Prepare for the first wave of pain, losers…Trixie style. *she closes her eyes and growls softly*

Later, at the elimination ceremony, the eight remaining Magical Misfits all sat on the bleachers in front of the bonfire. Discord was roasting some hotdogs, but upon seeing the campers show up, he quickly tossed all the dogs into his mouth and gulped them down, even though several were on fire. As Discord spouted fire out of his ears, he observed the campers. Twilight and Rarity were nodding to one another while casting Trixie annoyed glares. Apple Bloom and Scootaloo looked very nervous for some reason, but seemed to be casting Twilight angry expressions. Cheerilee looked very depressed about the whole situation. Pinkie and Derpy both looked very excited. Trixie looked calm and composed. This was surely gonna be a more interesting vote than first imagined.

“Welcome, ladies, to ANOTHER elimination ceremony,” Discord snickered, “This is your third one out of four so far! What’s wrong? Didn’t anyone teach you all what a TEAM is?”

“Trust me, Discord, MOST of us know what a team is,” Twilight stated, casting a frown in Trixie’s direction, “However, there are…others…who do not realize just what the word means yet.”

“I see…well, this is sure to be a very big vote,” Discord went on, “You all know the rules by this point. All of you go and write down the name of the pony that you want to leave Total Magic Pony Island. The one who gets the most votes will be sent down the Dock of Shame and be forced to board the Boat of Losers. And they cannot EVER come back…EVER!”

“For…EVER!” Pinkie shouted. 

“I thought I told you to STOP doing that!” Discord grumbled, slapping his forehead and frowning, “Okay, enough of this. Let’s just get to the vote. Apple Bloom, you’re first.”

Apple Bloom: *showing the camera that she voted for Twilight* Twilight, ah don’t know how ya’ll can say such things…well, ya know what? Who needs ya and yer big brain? *she puts it in the box*

Cheerilee: *showing the camera that she voted for Derpy* This is nothing against you at all, Derpy…I just think that you wouldn’t mind as much as the others. *she puts the ballot in the box*

Twilight: *showing the camera that she voted for Trixie* I didn’t want to have to do this so early in the game, but…well, I should’ve seen this end result coming for you. *she puts the ballot in the box*

Trixie: *her pick is hidden, due to her holding the name towards her and not towards the camera* Sorry about this…actually, no I’m not…Trixie’s not sorry…nor will she ever be. *she puts it in the box*

“You all have made your decisions,” Discord said, teleporting the ballot box in front of him, “Once the votes are read, the decision is FINAL, and that camper will be sent down the Dock of Shame at once. I will now read the votes.” He snapped his fingers and got out his fake reading glasses, putting them on as the Magical Misfits all seemed to have different expressions, ranging from nervous, to joyous, to sadness, to calmness, to amusement. The draconequus removed the top of the ballot box and reached for the first ballot. 

“First vote…Trixie,” Discord said, showing the campers the first ballot with Trixie’s name on it.

“Second vote…Twilight. That’s one vote Trixie, one vote Twilight.” Twilight couldn’t help but smirk at this and give Trixie a glance; she thought it was cute that she voting for her out of everypony else on the team. Naturally, that would be the only non-Trixie vote.

“Third vote…Trixie. That’s two votes Trixie, one vote Twilight.”

“Fourth vote…Twilight. That’s two votes Trixie, two votes Twilight.” This immediately got both Twilight and Rarity confused. They looked at each other, then glanced around at the team, wondering who else voted for the purple unicorn other than Trixie.

“Fifth vote…Derpy. That’s two votes Trixie, two votes Twilight, one vote Derpy.” This result got even more perplexed looks from the entire team. Twilight and Rarity looked very confused, Apple Bloom and Scootaloo looked horrified, Derpy looked happy her name was called, and Trixie was now smirking.

“Sixth vote…hmm…interesting…Apple Bloom. That’s two votes Trixie, two votes Twilight, one vote Derpy, and one vote Apple Bloom…and just two votes remaining.” The horror and confusion that was now spreading around the Magical Misfits could be felt by each and every member, except maybe Pinkie and Derpy. Twilight, Rarity, Apple Bloom, Scootaloo, and Cheerilee all looked stunned, and they immediately looked at Trixie. The blue unicorn’s evil grin was growing even wider. 

“Seventh vote…Apple Bloom. That’s two votes Trixie, two votes Twilight, two votes Apple Bloom, one vote Derpy, and just one vote to go.” Apple Bloom was shaking like a leaf and was looking at Twilight and Rarity in terror. The two unicorns were looking back in absolute shock, but the evil grin on Trixie’s face was what told it all. 

“Fourth loser of Total Magic Pony Island…” Discord announced, raising an eyebrow in amusement as he stared at the final ballot. He seemed to be confused, and for a moment, he didn’t turn it around. Then, the ballot was very slowly flipped over. “…Apple Bloom. Little filly…personally, I don’t know how this happened, and I find this wrong, but…with three votes, you are eliminated. It’s time to go.”

“WHAT?!?! THERE HAS TO BE SOME MISTAKE!” Twilight screamed, jumping up and looking beyond enraged, “WHO HERE VOTED FOR POOR APPLE BLOOM?”

“W-w-wasn’t it obvious?” Apple Bloom sobbed, getting up and glaring at Twilight with tears in her eyes, “YOU voted f-fer me…c-c-couldn’t wait to get rid of me, could you?”

“What are you talking about?” Twilight blinked, “I never voted for you! Neither did Rarity! What in the world is going on here?”

“Trixie…did you…” Cheerilee began, before watching the blue unicorn smirk and rise to her hooves. 

“It hurts, don’t it?” she whispered, turning and glaring at her team, “But that’s just the first wound. There are many more to come. Trixie will get her vengeance…and one by one, you will all pay.” She slowly trotted away, leaving a horrified and stunned silence at the bonfire. 

“Um…so…I guess we don’t get our cupcakes and muffins now?” Pinkie asked, looking a bit disappointed, “But…we did what Trixie told us to…she said we’d get cupcakes and muffins…”

“…now I understand,” Twilight sighed, “Trixie bribed Pinkie and Derpy to vote with her…and she must’ve said something to Scootaloo and Apple Bloom to make them vote for me…while Cheerilee felt sorry for her and voted for Derpy to spoil her vote.”

“No! That’s not fair!” Scootaloo cried, wrapping her forelegs around Apple Bloom and holding her close, “Apple Bloom…I’m so sorry…this isn’t right…”

“Why wasn’t it me?” Twilight whispered, hanging her head, “Why did Trixie take it out on an innocent filly like Apple Bloom? Why didn’t she vote me off?”

“Probably because she knew that Pinkie wouldn’t vote for her best friend, no matter WHAT the bribe,” Rarity sniffed, walking over and giving Apple Bloom a hug, “I don’t think there’s anything we can do. Apple Bloom, I’m sorry about this…I’ll let your sister know, since I fear she might be…stuck to something right about now.”

Together, the entire team hugged the sobbing Apple Bloom and held her close, letting them all know that they loved her and they were sorry, even though it wasn’t really any of their faults. Pinkie and Derpy looked very guilty at what they sold out for, and the glare that Twilight was giving them made it clear that they were gonna get a talking to a while later for this. Eventually, though, Discord teleported over and plucked Apple Bloom from the pile.

“The waterworks are nice for a moment, but that’s enough,” he said, floating along and dropping Apple Bloom on the Dock of Shame, “Your boat is waiting, my dear…get along now.”

“Yea…fine…” Apple Bloom whimpered, hanging her head as she dejectedly trotted down the lonely Dock of Shame towards the Boat of Losers. The six other Misfits watched her go, waving to her and shouting out loving remarks to her. As Apple Bloom boarded the boat, she took one look back at her former team, gave a weak smile, then turned away and watched as the boat carried her off into the night.

“Trixie is NOT getting away with this,” Twilight growled, “What is her PROBLEM? Hey, Rarity? Are you up for a little…scavenger hunt?” She smirked and whispered her plan to her fellow unicorn, who instantly looked thrilled at the idea.

“Oh, darling, you are EVIL…but in a good way,” Rarity giggled. While the rest of the team disbanded towards their cabin, Twilight and Rarity trotted off into the forest together.

Cheerilee: Trixie…I should’ve seen it…I should’ve seen it in your eyes…I’m sorry for failing to see your true pain that you were hiding. BUT…you took it out on my student? You took it out on Apple Bloom? How…how could you? *for one of the few times, she looks angry* …you WILL answer to this.

An hour later, Trixie ran screaming out of her cabin, covered from head to hoof in red fire ants. She had been resting in her bed, getting ready to go to sleep, when the ants suddenly began crawling out from under the mattress. They naturally began eating up the unicorn, and were very powerful and were not that easy to shake off. As Trixie shrieked and began racing around the camp in a frenzy, Twilight and Rarity watched with satisfaction from the beach.

“Beautiful, isn’t it?” Twilight smiled, patting Rarity on the back.

“Revenge usually is,” Rarity smiled back, returning Twilight’s patting, “You have very good eyes, spotting that anthill in the middle of the dark forest.”

“Well, I’ve studied many animals…just so happens one was red fire ants,” Twilight smirked, “Thanks for helping me out, Rarity.”

“It was my pleasure and I’d do it a thousand times over,” Rarity chuckled. Together, both unicorns sat next to each other on the beach, watching and listening to Trixie’s shrieks of pain as they raced around the camp. 

“And what a way to end another episode, eh?” Discord chuckled, floating above Twilight and Rarity as he faced the cameras, “This one was beyond shocking, don’t you all agree? Now, the Misfits only have seven players left! Will Trixie continue to survive? At the rate she’s going, she probably won’t survive another five minutes. Will the Royal Ruffians be cured of their ailments? Find out next time, right here, on Total…Magic…Pony…Island! Stay classy, Equestria!”

“SOMEPONY GET TRIXIE SOME WATER!” Trixie shrieked at the top of her lungs, just as the cameras faded out and ended the episode.