Despite Dan's protests, he and the others joined Blueblood in a drive through Bluebloodburg. Only Blueblood thought it was a drive though, because he was the only one driving; everyone else was pulling the chariot. With Dan and Chrys in the lead, the prince's newest servants were all harnessed in and uniformed in the blue-white bejeweled uniforms with his face on them. They pulled his massive gold chariot( Dan's scuffle with the royal body double having damaged the battery and controls) through town as Blueblood mushed them all, holding their reins and wearing a grin of deep self-satisfaction on his face.
"Any luck finding something we can impeach him with?" Dan asked.
"Not that I've seen so far," Phoenix said. The lawyer flipped through the pages of what passed for a book on Equestrian law.
Next to him, Twilight did the same, levitating her own book in front of her as she walked. "There's not many laws specifically relating to the monarchy… wait!" Twilight pointed her hoof at a page, "We can get him arrested if he sings in a blue dress in public!"
"That won't work," Phoenix shook his head. "That law only applies to men and Blueblood's transgender now."
"Oh, right. Didn't think about that."
"If it's any consolation, I don't think ANYONE wants to think about that too hard."
"Good point. No, sorry; we're still looking, Dan," Twilight said, returning to the book.
Dan huffed frustratedly. "Maybe try to find a precedent before he decides he wants to do some off-loading."
As the group marched down the street, they resembled more a group of political prisoners than the royal escorts of a monarch. On a street corner, Trixie used a disposable camera to take pictures of them.
"This is going right on the Great and Powerful Trixie's Great and Powerful Tumblr page!!" Trixie exclaimed, excitedly spooling the film and snapping another photo.
Nearly blinded by the flash, Twilight and the others looked over at her. "Trixie! What are you doing?!"
"Trixie is capturing the image for her audience! Trixie's media needs more comedic material!"
"At our expense?!" Twilight yelled back. "This is humiliating! I thought we were friends now!"
"Trixie is sorry, Twilight Sparkle but the Great and Powerful Trixie cannot hear you!" she took another photo. "Please speak up next time you are addressing the Great and Powerful Trixie!"
Chrys shook her head. "Looks like Trixie's having a Great and Powerful relapse."
"I think maybe Blueblood's modifications to the town are doing that," Shining said. "Same thing happened in the Crystal Empire with the crystal ponies when Vice Grip took over."
"The douchebaggery filters down like acid rain," Dan remarked, trudging along.
"Wave! Wave at the camera for the Great and Powerful Trixie's fans!"
Together, they trudged just a little bit faster until Trixie was out of sight. Or she had just run out of film.
"MUSH! MUSH! MUSH!" Blueblood shouted, oblivious to their plotting against him. The chariot slowly turned a corner down yet another crowded formerly-Ponyville street. The grass and dirt underneath them were all blue, resembling cobalt concrete. The cottages and simple Ponyville buildings were still there, now dwarfed every few lots by a skyscraper that seemed to have either grown up from the ground or been stabbed into the earth.
The larger towering buildings were all similar, identical in composite but not in shape. Their surfaces were dark blue trimmed with gold and the letters BB emblazoned somewhere on the side. Mirrored clusters of windows were arrayed like diamonds on them at various intervals no one could see out of. Some buildings were shaped like giant "T"s while others were curved like building blocks. A few were pyramids and more than one was an upside down pyramid and for no gotdamn reason at all there was a Sphinx with Blueblood's face winking at those passing by. Blueblood signaled for Dan and company to stop pulling the chariot as they reached a building shaped like a heptagon if designed by someone who didn't know what a heptagon was.
"I know what a heptagon is. It's the newest, most fabulous shape in Ponyville! I had Kingsley build it himself."
You realize it's structural unsound, right? The base is too wide to evenly distribute the weight of the structure above the foundation.
"Oh, stop trying to make yourself sound smart. You're like my architectural engineer."
…
"Blueblood, stop pissing off the narrator," Chrys said.
"Pffft. Fine, nerdling." Blueblood dismounted his chariot, using a small elevator platform in the back that lowered him to street level without exerting himself at all. The others had already removed their harnesses and stood in front of the tacky gem-shaped building. "So, I know you must all be wondering what we're doing here."
"Not really, no."
"Close!" Blueblood exclaimed, as if Shining had made a guess. Which he hadn't but apparently Blueblood's ego-goggles had a built-in headset, too. "We're here so you may all witness a preview of my glorious rule. I've arranged a special demonstration so you may all see what my leadership will look like."
"Is the building going to burst into flames?" Dan asked. "Because that's what my response to your leadership is going to look like."
"Oh, silly Dan. There'll be plenty of time for celebration when we're finished."
Dan shook with rage. "I can't even threaten this guy. He's unthreatenable!"
Cadence shrugged. "No but if it's meant to resemble Blueblood's rule, I'm guessing the building is going to collapse."
"And it won't need any help from us," Shining added.
Blueblood turned to the group. "Before we enter, there's something I need from you, Dan."
"You're going to need a restraining order against me. That's what you're going to need."
A long bejeweled piece of cobalt blue parchment levitated over to Dan and unfurled. The human looked over the scroll and then back up to Blueblood. "Really?"
The prince nodded once, eyes closed and muzzle slightly raised in snooty contentment.
The human grumbled and shoved the crumpled scroll into Blueblood's chest, pushing past him and into the building.
The building turned out to be a hotel with the entrance being the lobby. Various ponies, Canterlot elitists, milled back and fourth talking not to each other but on their various hooves-free devices. Even the bellhops were snobby unicorns, careless and contemptuous of those around them except for the occasional overly-bejeweled bag.
Dan barged into the lobby and stood at one side of the entrance. With a sweep of his arm, he gestured to the doorway and sighed heavily. "Presenting her honorable, the royal majesty of Bluebloodestria, her magnificent regalness, Princess Bloomeressa Bluteesa Blueblood."
The doors opened and Blueblood walked in, flanked by Shining and Cadence. The others, having less royal power in Blueblood's eyes, followed in the monarch's wake. Various oohs, ahhs and light applause came from the bystanders in the lobby. To Blueblood, he was a celebrity and that made any carpet the red carpet.
Dan scowled as he passed. Each of his friends patted him on the shoulder, even hugged him, sharing his pain. The Blast Sisters tried to offer him some explosive devices but Dan rejected them. The way the hotel was built, it would probably collapse if he used them.
The prince/princess led the group to the elevators, to the top floor and to a small conference chamber. The room had a high ceiling and resembled more of a chamber in the Canterlot Castle than a hotel. A long white table with golden chairs dominated the center. Every part of them seemed sterile and clean, blank slates.
"This is where I will be doing all of my decision-making in Bluebloodestria," Blueblood said. "Or at least, when I'm not at Blueblood Castle."
"Of course, because every tyrant needs a place to dictate while in town," Chrys said, moving to a seat.
"I'm sorry, Chrysalis but I don't believe I gave you permission to sit down."
The changeling queen looked back at him blankly. "Are you serious?"
Blueblood moved to the lead chair and took a seat himself. "These seats are reserved for the Bluebloodestrian Council, my chosen administrators."
It was then Chrys noticed that there were eight chairs in the room and each of them had a unique symbol on them. Specifically, they were the symbols for each of the Elements of Harmony… and the chair opposite Blueblood was dark blue.
"Your chosen administrators?" Shining asked. "You're going to appoint governors without the approval of the royal family?"
Blueblood nodded. "In a manner of speaking. And Shining, my dear boy, I already have."
Shining was about to say something when Blueblood touched a button underneath the table. Seven individual holograms appeared at each of the chairs, each representing a new ruler of Equestria. And all of them were Blueblood.
"Hellooooooo," the Blueblood holograms greeted.
"You're SCREWING with us," Dan exclaimed. "You're going to appoint rulers over us… and they're all YOU?!!"
The prince/princess grinned. "It seemed as really the most logical decision. You Americans value division of power, do you not? This is my way of dividing power."
"AMONGST YOURSELF!!" Dan yelled, punching one of the holograms. To his dissatisfaction, his fist went right through the other side and smacked the back of the chair. The marble-appearing material broke like chalk against Dan's blow, revealing it was more like cheap chalk. "This is more egotistical than appointing one of your pets in charge!"
"Nonsense. My pets have their own kingdoms to look after."
"Figures," Shining remarked.
"They still outrank you and Cadence, though."
"Ughhhh…"
Blueblood cleared his throat. "*Ahem* Now, if you'll all be keen to observe, my associates and I have important business to discuss."
"I'm sure the conversation will be one-sided," Chrys said.
"So," Blueblood announced. "Shall we begin?"
"Oh, indubitably."
"Yes, of course."
"Right away!"
Each of the holo-clones stated. "All right, then. All in favor of converting Bluebloodestria to the metric system, say "aye"!"
"AYE!!"
"Aye," Blueblood banged a small gavel. "There. It's settled. The council votes unanimously to convert the kingdom to the metric system."
Dan and company deadpanned. "You… you're not just screwing with us. You're screwing with the WHOLE ENTIRE NATION!!"
The ruler glanced snidely over his shoulder. "I'm screwing with my nation, Dan. And you're just lucky to be along for the ride."
Rage boiled inside the human as the two locked eyes. Dan's grip was on the edge of the table, which began to crack in his hand.
But it was Twilight who spoke up first. "This is not YOUR nation, Blueblood."
"Yeah!" Shining and Cadence joined her. "We may tolerate you sitting on the throne but making decisions that affect the whole nation is not gonna happen."
"Oh, don't be silly, you three," Blueblood batted away the suggestion. "This was just a demonstration, remember?"
"Still…"
The prince got up from his seat. "Now, there are several other things I want you to bare witness to. So let's be on our way!" The corrupt monarch delightfully led the band outside the conference hall and back to the elevators.