//------------------------------// // A Hypothetical // Story: Slices of Raridash // by Twinkletail //------------------------------// "If you could sleep with any of our other friends, who would it be?" The question hit Rainbow Dash like a jewel-encrusted freight train, causing her to spit chewed bits of daisy all over the table. "Hm, gross," Rarity calmly said as she surveyed the strewn spittle. Months earlier, her reaction would have been far stronger, but by this point she was used to Dash being a messy eater. While this was a bit worse than the norm, it was still easily cleaned by one of the many spare napkins that adorned the table in case of such accidents. "Well you made me do it!" Dash shouted, mourning the loss of that delectable morsel. An attempt to gather up one of the food bits was thwarted by a tiny smack to the hoof from the levitating napkin. A blow from a napkin should not have stung like that, but the force of Rarity's magic made it possible. "I didn't make you do anything of the sort," Rarity said calmly. "I simply asked a question." "Uh, yeah, did you hear the question you asked me?" Dash shot back as she began to prepare a new sandwich. "Of course," Rarity responded. "I listen to my own words as much as I hope you do." "I was listening!" Dash told her. "You asked me which of our other friends I'd want to sleep with!" "My Dashie is such a good listener," Rarity cooed, patting Dash's mane gently with the napkin. Dash rolled her eyes, reaching up to wipe a piece of chewed sandwich from the red part of her mane. An attempt was made to return it to her mouth, but was once again stopped by a flick of blue magic. "Well...what kind of question is that?" Dash asked. "Is this a trap? You're gonna get me to answer and then get all annoyed at me for saying it, aren't you?" "Of course not!" Rarity replied. "It's a simple hypothetical. Absolutely normal, nothing to get upset about. Really, Rainbow Dash, do you think I would be that petty?" Dash chose not to answer that question. As was evident from the earlier one, she knew a trap when she saw it. "Oh yeah?" Dash asked. "Then why don't you answer that question first, if it's nothing to be upset about." "Fluttershy," Rarity said, with nary a moment's hesitation. Dash once again spit the contents of her mouth over the table. This time it was a fine mist of cherry cola. "Must you?" Rarity asked as she floated a dishrag over. "If I'd wanted to date a fountain, I'd have gone soulmate-searching at the garden store." "Well stop saying things that surprise me while I've got stuff in my mouth!" Dash shouted. "What's so surprising about that?" Rarity asked, finally looking up from her cup of tea. "Fluttershy is a very lovely and sweet pony." "I'm not saying she's not-" Dash started. "Were you going to pick her too? I'd say we could look into that but my heavens, the poor dear is so shy she'd likely never agree to-" "Rarity!" Dash interjected. "I...wait, really?" She hesitated for a moment before shaking her head out and focusing again. "I-I mean, you just said it so fast! It's like you had this in mind already! Like you had an ulterior motive for asking!" "Oh, of course not," Rarity replied. "I just came up with the question on a whim. I answered quickly because she's the first of the others that came to mind." "So you were thinking of sleeping with Fluttershy!" Dash demanded. "My oldest friend! And you're saying it in front of me!" "It's a hypothetical, Dash," Rarity said matter-of-factly. "Nothing to be worried about. If I could sleep with one of our friends, which I know is not happening, then Fluttershy would be my first choice. That does not change my opinion that you are the single most perfect pony for me. In fact, I feel it's a testament to our feelings for each other that we can talk about such things together comfortably." Rarity reached across with a hoof to take one of Dash's own, and Dash let out a little sigh. Rarity was the only one who was allowed to just touch her hooves like that. Anypony else would have caught a loud shout at best and a shove at worst, but that sweet white beacon of glory was allowed free reign over that otherwise-restricted territory. Maybe she had been quick to name Fluttershy as the runner-up for "Pony Most Likely to Get a Taste of Marshmallow," but very few ponies remembered the name of the runner-up in a race. It was the winner whose name was etched in the annals of history, and Dash was that winner. "Are you thinking about a race of some sort?" Rarity asked. "Wha...how did you know?" Dash asked. "I know you, darling," Rarity responded with a smile. "You think of races quite often." "Heh...yeah, I guess I do," Dash responded. She looked down to the hoof holding hers, then up into those deep blue eyes. She couldn't possibly stay annoyed with those eyes. "So?" Rarity asked. "So?" Dash asked back. "You still haven't answered my question, Dash," Rarity said with a grin. "Come on now. I answered it and everything is fine. Now it's your turn." Dash took a deep breath. Everything was fine. Sure, Rarity had been rather quick to answer, but that didn't mean that she loved her any less. It was a purely hypothetical question; nothing more, nothing less. "Well..." Dash began, tapping a hoof to her chin. "...I think I'd go with Pinkie. She can be a bit loud sometimes, but that energy she's got is unbelievable. It'd take forever to wear her down in bed. And she's got some great curves, and you know she'd be super-attentive and make sure you left happy. So yeah, Pinkie Pie." Dash nodded resolutely. That wasn't so hard after all. It was good to get things like that off of her chest. She looked back into Rarity's eyes with a smile, only to freeze up as the gentle gaze she'd received earlier was replaced by a cold glare. That kind of glare was typically reserved for particularly stubborn dresses, and being on the receiving end of it chilled Dash to her very core. "Wh...what's wrong?" Dash asked, backing off slightly. "You said it was just a hypothetical, right?" ~~~~~~~~~~ "This has to be the greatest Cutie Mark Crusaders sleepover of all time!" Apple Bloom exclaimed, putting the final touches on the mane she'd been styling. She was far from an expert mane stylist, but she was pretty sure she'd done a great job this time. "Totally!" Scootaloo agreed. "Even better now that we have a guest!" "Uh-huh!" Sweetie Belle chimed in. "We're so glad you could join us, Rainbow Dash! Say, why are you joining us anyway? Rarity never explained it." "Because hypothetical questions are dumb," Dash responded, frowning as she felt Bloom tug at her mane once more.