//------------------------------// // Aftertime: Full Frontal Failure // Story: The Sparkle in his Eye // by Tatsurou //------------------------------// Aphelion made her way to her destination, where her bio-scanners showed her the only Lombax life sign off the Great Clock. It was a safe bet that would be Angela Cross, and last she had checked Angela was with - or at least knew the locations of - Sasha Phyronix and Talwyn Apogee. This was the first time she'd been given such a long solo mission, taking her nearly an entire galaxy away from Ratchet and Twilight, and she wanted to do well. "Personal report," Aphelion muttered in her circuits. "I am in the proper range for locating my three incipient sisters-in-law, and am certain to be locating them soon...I have a lock!" She zoomed in on the location. "I have detected a Lombax, a Cazarian, and a Markazian...entering a bar." Aphelion paused as she hovered over the establishment. "...there's a joke in here somewhere...and I can't help but think it's on my brother." "Hey!" someone in a hovercraft screamed out angrily. "No parking in the thoroughfares, moron!" Immediately converting to her mecha form, Aphelion grabbed hold of the offending craft. "Care to say that to my face?" she asked coldly. The pilot screamed in terror, running away as fast as he could. Aphelion shifted back to ship mode. "...that felt good," she murmured to herself. "Now...how to get those three out of the bar...preferably without excess collateral damage." She began to circle the bar, looking for an opportunity. "...hmm...the bar's interior dimensions...if I fold my wings in, I should just fit..." Aphelion folded her wings into her cockpit, then initiated her quantum shift, vanishing to reappear inside the bar, hovering over the billiards table. "Wow. This place is old school," she muttered. "Aphelion?" Talwyn gasped out. "Is...is that you?" "Like the new look, Miss Apogee?" Aphelion teased. "I'm here to pick you three up!" "...why is the ship talking?" Sasha asked worriedly. "And how did it-" "She," Talwyn corrected quickly. "...she warp into here?" Angela demanded. "I am Aphelion, prototype Lombax Artificial Soul craft from the Angel Project, created by Kaden Gyro," Aphelion introduced herself. "Since upgraded with Zoni capabilities, with the ability to warp space and time." Angela stared in shock. "I feel like I should be terrified. Whose ship are you now?" "I fly for my family; Ratchet, Twilight, Clank, and Qwark," Aphelion explained. "And now I know we should be," Sasha joked. "So...you're here to pick us up?" "Yup! It's time for you three to meet Ratchet's parents!" Aphelion offered proudly as she popped open her canopy. "But...but they're dead!" Talwyn gaped as Sasha and Angela started pulling her into the ship. "I've stopped being surprised at the things that happen to Ratchet," Angela explained. "Especially if Zoni were involved." "I'm guessing it was more Twilight than Zoni," Sasha offered, clambering into the ship. "Well, time to make a good first impression on his folks." "Oh, they like you already," Aphelion told her. "Orvus used a time-view window to let them see your 'sparring sessions' with Ratchet. Daddy took notes!" She quickly extended a grapple arm from inside her cockpit to pull Sasha back in by her tail before she could run for it. "Here we go!" Closing the canopy, Aphelion warped out of the bar and into space before setting course for the Great Clock. "...you have an obstacle course in here?" Talwyn gasped out. "Zoni upgrades are best upgrades!" Aphelion confirmed as she gunned her engines. Angela, Sasha, and Talwyn stared around in awe as they stepped into the Great Clock. The location itself was enough to stun them, but behind their awed expressions, each of them had their own thoughts, their own feelings. Talwyn was the calmest of the trio. It's alright, Talwyn. It's no big deal, really. You're just going to meet the parents of the guy you're massively crushing on. It's not that big of a deal. You've already met his girlfriend who's happy - eager even - to share him, and the other girl involved, and the three of you get along well. How bad could this be? Admittedly, it'd be nice if Cronk and Zephyr were here to back me up...but Twilight's here somewhere, right? That ought to be okay. Sasha was fluctuating between terror and mortification. It's okay, Sasha. You've got nothing to be afraid of. It's just Ratchet's parents. You've got nothing to be ashamed of. You were Captain of your own starship, President of an entire galaxy, and helped Ratchet save the day a couple of times. There's nothing they could possibly hold against you...except for the crazy things you and Ratchet did in the bedroom. Which they liked! ...or at least took notes on... I am so dead... Angela was incredibly tense as she walked very, very carefully. Okay Angela...you're going to be meeting up with Vashiir again. Last time you saw her, your Mom was telling you how a speculative assignation between you and Vashiir's not yet born son had been set up, and that you'd be very good friends. She only knew you as a little girl, and is now going to be judging you as a possible mate for her son whom you already promised to be a harem member of...a promise you actually want to keep now that you've seen what he's capable of and gotten to know the other two prospective members. But you're also meeting in the Great Clock, the most important and delicate construction in the history of...well, history. So whatever you do, Angela...do not trip! "Hey Angela!" Twilight called out from a side room. "Grandpa, Grandpa and I were able to pluck your tail out of the timestream just after you cut it off to hide from Tachyon. Take your clothes off and get in here so I can use magic to reattach it before Daddy spanks you with a Chronoscepter to make the tail's timestream catch up with the rest of you to be normal sized!" Angela wasn't sure if the face fault was the result of her clumsiness or just how out there that statement was. Either way, all three girls breathed a deep sigh of relief. After all, how awkward could this meeting really be with Twilight involved? At Orvus' suggestion, the meeting between Ratchet's parents and his prospective mates took place in the Great Clock's medical wing, specifically the built in hot spring. Since of those present, the only one with any sort of cultural nudity taboo was Ratchet, making the meeting quite comfortable for all involved as they symbolically 'hid nothing'. It was a relief to the three girls to know that neither Kaden nor Vashiir had any intention of sticking their oar in as far as Ratchet's love life, and were perfectly happy with the three of them being Ratchet's harem...well, after Vashiir had gotten Angela to bio-scan Sasha and Talwyn to make sure they were cross-compatible with Lombaxes. Apparently, they really wanted more grandchildren. Once the explanation of how they were alive again was accepted - and Angela and Talwyn stopped throwing questions at Twilight - Sasha spoke up with news from their end. "There's something you all should know," she explained. "In the last election in Solana, someone started a write-in election campaign...and Captain Qwark won by a landslide." Ratchet spat his drink out into the water. "How?" "The write-in campaign had Twilight as his running mate," Sasha continued. "Oh, okay, that makes sense," Ratchet admitted. "But I don't want to go back to Solana yet!" Twilight complained. "I don't think you'll have to," Angela pointed out. "I got a message from Mr. Fizzwidget. Apparently, aside from the villainous plot aspect, Megacorp actually did exceptionally well while Qwark was pretending to be Fizzwidget, leading to several big corporate folks concluding that Qwark has untapped leadership potential. He's been elected President of Bogon as well, with you as his VP." Twilight groaned and facehooved. "How are we supposed to run two galaxies?" she demanded angrily. "I'm afraid it gets worse," Sigmund spoke up as he served drinks. "A similar campaign started in Polaris and connected clusters. Given your roles in taking down Tachyon and Nefarious...you and Captain Qwark have been elected Vice President and President of this galactic sector as well." "But...but that's the entire known universe!" Ratchet pointed out. "And Qwark's President of...all of it?" "I just finished telling him that," Sigmund explained. At that moment, the lights all went out, and a spotlight shone down. Captain Qwark appeared in the light, dressed as Elvis Presley complete with pompadour, his hands above his head displaying 'v for victory' finger positions. He then began to sing as music played. "Here~ I am! Born better than a King! I'm the President of the U~niverse!" He then proceeded to headbang while changing from finger Vs to devil horns. He then looked up with a grin. "What do you all think?" he asked eagerly. "Good intro for my first Presidential Press Release?" Everyone groaned. "Who the heck would think making Qwark President of the entire known universe was a good idea?" Angela groaned. Stuart Zurgo cackled wickedly as he rubbed his hands together. "Yes! YES! My plan is complete! Qwark is now President of the entire known universe! When he inevitably bungles and makes a mess of everything, everyone will know and see him for the impotent fool he is! There will be nowhere left for him to hide or rebuild! I shall have my revenge for his betrayal! Fall, false hero, fall!" He continued to cackle madly. "This is even better than trying to conquer the galaxy to make him fail in defeating me! Making Twilight Sparkle his running mate meant I barely had to lift a finger!" Rubbing her forehead, Twilight spoke up. "BBBFF, just...promise me you'll let me help you write the parody song lyrics, okay?" "Of course, LSBFF!" Qwark promised readily. "There's way more riding on this than I can even comprehend! I wouldn't dream of making any big decisions for this without consulting you first." Stuart shivered as he logged onto the villain forums, a strange feeling overcoming him. He decided to type it into the chat. TheAntiQwark: Say, anyone else ever get the feeling that your greatest villainous scheme ever just got spoked by a tiny pony that didn't even know you were trying to be villainous? It wasn't long before he got a response. Nefarious: Yeah, you get used to that real quick in this business...