“And then we played ‘dig a hole’, I thought it was gonna be lame, but it was a lotta fun! We had to dig a hole exactly two hooves deep and plant an apple seed and fill it back up. It was farming and fun!”
“Well, sounds like somepony had a fantastic day! Did you remember to wash your hooves?”
“Eeyup! And my privates after I went to the bathroom.”
Tree blushed as he lifted the ladle in his magic and poured her a bowl of stew, full of chunky vegetables.
“Yeah, it was a great day. I still have to pond walk to clean up, but after that-”
“Pond walk? I have a bathtub in the backyard. Feel free to use it. I’m going to use it after supper if you’re willing to join me.”
“Boy, would I?! There’s still so much I have to tell you about today!” She chirped excitedly as she pursed her lips and slurped some stew. “Mmmm, you’re a great cooker.”
“Thanks. As long as you like it, I’ll cook it.”
“...” She slurped another sip and grinned, “yay,” she whispered quietly.
“Huh? I didn’t cat-”
“YAY!” She screamed as loud as she could at him. He stumbled back and held a hoof over his chest, feeling his beating heart as she hopped on the table and pointed at him. “Gotcha, Mo- I mean, uh,” she tapped her chin and shrugged, “Dad. I gotcha good!”
Tree inhaled deeply and smiled proudly at her for a moment before he shook his head. “W-wait, no! I’m not ready to be a dad, just, let’s eat… you did get me but let’s see what happens with Nurse Tender tomorrow and go from there, okay?” He asked as he took to his hooves and returned to pour himself a bowl.
“Oh, fine, Mister Tree,” she huffed as she hopped to the floor.
“That’s… not much better, but we’ll talk about it later. Now, what exactly did you play with the others,” he asked slurping his stew as well as her.
…
The bathtub was large enough for three adult ponies to bathe in, at least, back where Nova was from. She commented on just that.
“Oh, This is also where a few of the neighbors wash cloths and, on certain hot days or really cold nights, we adults’ll have a party and it’s a great place to play games.”
“Oh, okay,” she said as she got into the tepid water with a nudge from his magic. With a small splash she surfaced and gasped. “It’s cold.”
“Better than a communal cesspool,” he said as he climbed in with her and slowly sank chin deep with a sigh. “I know about two unicorns who’re gonna make a stop by in a week… if you’re still here I’ll pay them and we’ll get a heating gem from them, if they have it.”
“What’s that?” Nova asked as she moved her bangs from her eyes and blinked her eyes clear of water.
“Magic rocks that makes hot water,” he groaned as she pushed himself up, “time to scrub the day away,” he sighed. Grabbing a brush in his magic he plopped it in the water between them and leaned out to grab a bar of soap, carefully, with his teeth.
First he bared his teeth at Nova making her cringe back before he raised the stiff bristled brush to his mouth and scrubbed his teeth and tongue.
“Ugk, at least mom knows I’m brushing my teeth a few times a week,” he said as he spat water into the tub after rinsing his mouth clean of soap and suds. “Now, ladies first, mane to hoof; front to back is how my family always washed.”
“Oh, I know. The neighbors and me too,” she said closing her eyes and letting her ears sag as he scraped the brush against the bar of soap in his hoof. He lightly started at the top of her head and around her horn then her neck, back, and forelegs.
“There ya go, now the rest is up to you. I know better than to wash a female in certain places unless she’s part of the herd.”
She looked at him and raised an eyebrow. “What’re you talkin’ about? It’s just-”
“Ahh-la-la-la-la-da-da-hush! I have enough on my plate, I don’t need to know what you know about back there. Just, wash you and I’ll wash me.”
“...Is this because you don’t have a vagina?”
At that moment his hoof found the bar of soap under the water and slipped. He fell into the water gasping for air and panicked.
Thrashing he splashed and gargled on water, he found his footing just before he felt a strong shove against just above his tail, sending him out of the tub and flying into the dirt several feet out of the water with a splat.
“Ugggghh…” he coughed and stood up, shaking himself dry from mane to tail before he looked back to the tub to see Nova’s eyes and drooping ears directed at him.
“You okay? You were kinda, dying.”
He stared at her as he walked back to the tub and climbed in. “I’m fine. Now, uhm, just, let me clean myself from the day and the fresh coat of dirt I put on… and Nova.”
“Huh?” She asked softly as she washed herself under the water.
“Don’t headbutt me again, that wasn’t necessary.”
“But, I didn’t touch you,” she said as her hooves surfaced holding the bar of soap out to him.
“You are one, interesting filly. But, don’t lie. You won’t get in trouble as long as you tell the truth,” he said taking the soap and lathering his body once and moving the brush to the top of his head and beginning to brush vigorously.
“But, I’m not lying, Mister Tree.”
He rolled his eyes. After a minute he finished and dunked himself under, squirming to rinse the soap from his body.
“So,” he told her as he surfaced, “tell me all about today again.”
Grinning she inhaled and began to recount the day’s events to him as he laid back and looked at the stars, twinkling overhead. The mare in the moon was barely visible as the moon was waning. Time seemed to have no meaning as he lost himself in thoughts and what-if’s.
“...and then I asked if it was because you didn’t have a vagina and then you started to die in the water-”
He exhaled and moved his head so he could look at her and end the ramblings she was giving him.
“And then I did this,” she said throwing her hooves forward and sending a light purple spark from her horn to her hooves. He barely managed a ‘gah’ before the tub cracked and he was sent flying from the tub, tumbling through the dirt and grass.
He looked at her with shock and awe as the tub leaked the last of its water and Nova stood, leaning her forelegs over the side. “And then you were there, only not as far… And that was the day!”
He could feel the dirt turning to mud across himself and let his head fall into the dirt.
“Hey! Mister Tree, you’re gonna get dirty before bed like that!”
He closed his eyes and grumbled to himself. “Nope, not gonna be a dad anytime soon.”