Freaks like Beaks

by pertelote345

Rained in.

"You've gotta mark your pizzas Pepper." Struck told me, for the 50,000th time.

I looked down at the nearly invisible pieces of fresh garlic on my pizza and sighed. He didn't say it cruelly, but I felt the sting none the less. I had been working here for months and I still couldn't remember to mark pizzas with invisible toppings. You see some stuff like garlic just sort of melts into the cheese, so when they take it out of the oven... Okay, you don't need to know this.

I put an olive on the pizza and slid it into the oven. Whose Line sidled up beside me. "So, have you got plans for our big day off tomorrow?"

I raised an eyebrow. "Day off?"

Struck nodded, without even looking up from the dough table. "The weather team says that there's a big storm blowing out of Everfree tomorrow. They're doing what they can to contain it, but they're telling folks to stay inside, so the Bit is closing for the day."

It was one of the longest speeches I'd ever heard him deliver. Whose Line shook his head. "Ya see Pepper, this is why you need to show up in those first two minutes. It's when you hear all the good stuff."

I looked down. "Sorry... " I used the first couple minutes before starting work to change. Most of my co-workers just came in their work clothes.

Rough Rider snorted. "You know, I can't say I'm thrilled about losing my shift, some of us have babies to feed. Can't the place just stay open? I can handle a little rain."

Struck didn't even turn to look at the Zebra. "Not my call. Management says we're closing."

And that was that.

A certain gorgeous cock landed on the crumbling concrete that was my place of work and held out a bag of pill bottles with a smile. "Hey Gretchen. After hearing about that whole worm thing I thought it would be a good idea to get you these as fast as possible."

I grinned, putting down my guitar. "Dude! You are a life saver... Literally." I picked up a bottle and was about to down a few when I noticed something unfortunate. I grimaced. "Um... Troy, not to look a gift steak in the mouth, but these pills are for cocks, not hens."

He tilted his head. "Huh?" he picked up a bottle and eyed it curiously. "Wow... I never actually noticed that."

I sighed. "Yeah, its not the kind of thing you'd think about." I looked over the ingredients, running through the lists of vitamins my old beau had drilled into me. "Okay, these should be fine. I'll just double the dose and be sure to drink lots of milk."

The cock, who had easily twice my body mass, sputtered. "Double my dose? Why the heck would you need that much protein?!"

I rolled my eyes. "Because every I lay an egg every month troy, and frankly my shells have been a bit soft of late"

His eyes lit up in recognition. "Oh!" He looked a little embarrassed, "I'm going to be honest I hadn't even thought of that part of being a gryphoness."

I snorted. "Most cocks don't... Well unless they're Squatter fans, though these days I'm not sure why they'd even bother, what with that new photographer they hired taking dumb pictures of hens just moaning and-"

Troy looked more than a little uncomfortable. "Can we please, please change the subject?"

I held up my claws in apology. "Right, right, not your thing obviously... There is something else I wanted to ask you about though."

He tilted his head, curious. "What?"

"What's with the big, formal 'gryphoness' thing? I mean, I'm flattered you're treating me like a high class lady, but it's safe to say I'm anything but respectable." I shrugged, "Plus, hen is shorter."

He seemed lost. "I don't get it, don't you want respect?"

I made an uncertain gesture. "I mean, the 'r' word has always been a bit dicey for me ya know? Even before the plague and running off to Equestria chasing star crossed love, I wasn't exactly living the high life. Respect wasn't something people in the streets got, it was something demanded of us. And even on the rare occasions I got some it always felt like... I dunno, watered down genuine connection? Does that make sense?"

He nodded. "I suppose..." He paused, as though deep in thought. "We really did grow up in different places didn't we?"

I shrugged. "I guess," I felt a twinge of guilt. "Sorry if I made it seem like you were born with a silver spoon in your mouth though. Everyone's got shit to deal with and I think it's fair to say folks like us get a double helping."

He looked down. "Yeah... Sometimes."

There was a small, awkward silence as we reviewed past injustices in our minds.

I broke the silence before it could get too serious. "So... With that in mind, would you like me to call you a rooster? I'm not sure how formal you prefer stuff and every time I say cock you seem to wince a little."

He winced a little. "Okay, I think I get what you're saying about the formal addresses. How about just calling me 'Troy' for now? Also, it's safe to say the... you know, 'cock' think is just from hanging around ponies an their expressions too long."

Ah, it was a penis thing. I shrugged. "Fair enough Troy, fair enough." I plopped myself back down with my guitar. "Anything else I can help you with?"

He shook his head. "No, I'm good." He paused, "Would you really have called me a rooster if I asked you to?"

I snorted. "Troy y'all are saving my skies damned life here. I'm calling you whatever you want me to call you."

He smiled. "I'd help out no matter what, but thanks." He tilted his head, "Wait, you came here for 'star crossed love'?"

I groaned. "A story for another time Troy, a story for another time."

He held up his claws. "Fair enough. I'll catch you later about that thing with Rarity okay?"

I smiled at him. "Sure thing."

When I next saw Gretchen, she was humming a jaunty tune and carrying a big bag of protein pills.

Meanwhile, I was sitting on my bed, staring down a massive pile of bread, milk and eggs.

Gretchen dropped her bag. She stared at me. "Pepper... What's going on?"

I looked up at her, more than a little sheepishly. "Um... There's a big storm coming tomorrow. So I figured I should prepare?"

She rolled her eyes. "Right... Because what everyone needs in a stressful, emergency situation is a big stack of prench toast."

"..."

"..."

"You're a genius."

After massively overshooting my protein needs for the day (and calorie count for the year), there was nothing I wanted to do more than to curl up and have a nice long food coma.

Unfortunately, the couch was right next to the window. That meant the flashing lights, pelting rain and cracks of thunder were keeping me bolt awake.

I huddled under the blankets and told myself to breathe. In and out, in and out, just like Red taught me...

Another crack of thunder sounded like the roar of an angry god. I whimpered in fear.

"Huh...? Gretchen?" Came Peppermint's voice. The groggy earth pony mare propped herself up from on top of her bed, getting an eyeful of me shivering on the couch turned cot.

I winced. Seriously, she slept through all that and then some whimpers woke her up? I tried to smile though my chattering beak. "H-hey Peps... don't worry, everything's cool."

She narrowed her eyes. "You're not 'cool' Gretchen, you're shivering." Her expression softened and she walked over, concerned. "Are you okay? Do you need another blanket?"

I stared at her. She wasn't wearing a dress or anything, but in the flashing lightning and soft mottled light from the window it was clear that hormones had done wonders for her. Her muzzle was still masculine, she couldn't change the bone, but her body was lithe and curvy.

She was so obviously a mare now that I looked at her. No stallion had an ass like that... Oh skies, that rump... It was like it was a pillow just begging to be snuggled. Completely automatically, my eyes drifted between her legs. Oddly her sheath looked a little different than the average stallion's. It was hard to describe, it was more... Feminine? Could you call a penis feminine?

Peppermint blinked at me. "Uh... Gretchen? Are you okay? You're giving me a weird look."

I snapped out of it. "What? Oh! No, sorry there, I got lost in thought." What was wrong with me? Did I have a nudity fetish? I shook myself and shot her a reassuring look. "In fact, I feel a lot warmer. Why don't you just go back to bed and-"

A blast so loud it made the windows shake burst through the air and I retreated back under the covers with what I'm sure was a very dignified squawk.

Peppermint cleared her throat. "So... You're afraid of thunder?"

I got up and looked her in the eye... Or at least I tried to, what with still being under the blankets. "Whaaat? Don't be silly, I'm a griffon! We're an airborne species that's been shaping the weather for thousands of years, it takes more to scare me than a little-"

Another horrendous burst of sound and light shook the room and I hit the deck. "Ohskieswe'reallgonnadie!"

"Hey! Hey..." Peppermint lifted up the covers and looked me in the eye. "You don't have to worry. Everything's going to be okay."

I forced a smile. "Of course it is! I'm not-"

She silenced me with a hoof on my beak. "Gretchen, I don't care if you're scared of thunder, okay? What's important right now is making you feel safer." She slipped around me and put herself between me and the window.

That did make me feel safer... And ashamed. I hung my head. "I'm sorry..."

She gave me a nuzzle. Skies, she was warm.

Her smile was even warmer. "Don't worry. I promise, I'm going to keep you nice and safe okay?"

Then a tree branch smashed through the window and impaled her.