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// Chapter 21 - Sh*t happens (as it is wont to do) 
// Story: Roads of Life 
// by PonyWrites 
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        March was a wonderful time of year. To a few, at least. Ironically Apple Bloom suffered severe allergies to pollen. Most of the time it was manageable with a daily antihistamine, but today in particular was awful. She could hardly breathe and was constantly blowing phlegm out her nose. Wonderful. Or maybe she was getting sick. Either way she was a complete joy to be around. 
Scooter, Rumble, and the girls were playing Monopoly, and the atmosphere was like boiling water. Nobody liked to lose so they brought their shrewdest strategies and the most profane profanities. It was Rumble’s turn and he rolled a seven, landing him on Sweetie’s Park Place, equipped with a hotel so he would end up paying a substantial sum of rent. The owner of the property decided to mutter under her breath, “finally I get something out of you.” The whole party stopped. They looked at her like she sprouted seven heads.
        “You get laid as often as the rest of us?” Apple Bloom wondered, completely perplexed. She sniffled. 
        “Yeah, but I always go last! By that time you’re all completely spent and I’m left unsatisfied!”
        “Can’t you just, you know…” Scooter made an up-and-down motion with his hand.
        “That’s what I’ve been doing and I’m sick of it! Do you even care! I’m supposed to be your girlfriend but I’m just the fourth wheel.”
        “Of course we care, honeydew, but you never said anything.” Apple Bloom said, attempting to be reasonable. Rumble saw where this was going and backed away slowly into the far corner. Not that the fifty mile radius around this clubhouse was going to be safe. 
        “Isn’t it obvious! Rumble only lasts thirty seconds by the time he gets to me, because he’s been too busy ploughing you into the bed!” Rumble was sure it was more than that… Like… five minutes at least...
        Scooter thought for a moment, “Well, I’m usually asleep honestly…” The glare his girlfriend gave him pierced his heart. Yeah, he’s screwed up royally. 
        “Exactly. None of you had paid attention to me in a month! I… I need some space.” She flung open the door of the treehouse and walked out. The temperature of the room cooled a few degrees. 
        “Shouldn’t we… go after her?” Rumble asked.
        “Trust me on this one, you’re gonna want to wait a while,” Scooter said. “Girls need some time to stop being angry. If we go now we just look pathetic. Like a dog chasing a ball.”
        “That doesn’t make any sense.”
        “That’s women for you.” Rumble decided to defer to Scooter since he would likely be the expert on girls. Considering. 
        “So what are we going to do?”
        “We talk to her. But first we wait.”
        “I meant more along the lines of continuing the game.”
        “How can I! The love of my life just walked out!” Scooter suddenly shouted, then cupped his face in his hands and bawled. 
        “It’s that time of the month, isn’t it?” Rumble mumbled. 
        “Yep.” Scooter said. “The best part is… I’m late.” 
        The room felt like it was spinning, like Rumble became aware of the earth spinning at a thousand miles per hour before his vision went black and he landed with a thud on the cold wooden floor.

Please please please let me be dead. Rumble thought as he regained consciousness. He felt like he was floating on sand but it was more than likely the beanbag chair. He opened his eyes only to find Scooter and Apple Bloom looking at him. “But but but what if you’re just irregular.” Was the first coherent thing he could manage. I'm so screwed.
        “I’m not taking T yet, because apparently it’s ridiculously hard to convince a doctor you have a good reason to get it, and I’ve been synced up with the other two since we started that awfulness. It’s not likely.”
        “So, so… so…. what do we do?” Rumble’s head started spinning again. He couldn’t do this! He was barely seventeen!
        “Well, there’s really only two options. Well three. Adopt, Abort, Keep.”
        “I don’t get the feeling you’re asking for my opinion.”
        “The last thing I want is a pregnancy bump. I have enough dysphoria to deal with. And if we’re going by sheer political stance, it is my body after all.”
        “Scoots, are you sure?” Apple Bloom asked. Scooter knew what Apple Bloom would do but this is one time Scooter couldn't look to her for inspiration. It was just not going to work that way.
        “I don’t even want ovaries, let alone some spawn germinating inside it! No offense Rumble I’m sure they’d be a wonderful kid.”
        “How?… I mean, every time…”
        “I don’t fucking know! Shit just happens, everything goes wrong!” Scooter threw his hands up in the air. “Just like it always has, one travesty to the next! I should have just slit my throat when I had the chance!” 
        Upon hearing the words, Apple Bloom pounced and restrained him. Then a melee broke out, Scootaloo nearly emerging victorious, having studied fighting techniques, both by application and study. To think it was the fighting that got her into this mess. Indeed, Apple Bloom lay moaning on a floor with bruises on her arms, “Leave me alone!” He growled. But she wasn’t expecting Rumble, who decked her squarely on the jaw, knocking her flat out. He’d pay for that in the long run, but all things considered it was probably the only way. Just because she was carrying a baby he didn’t want or couldn’t take care of didn’t mean he didn’t love… him. Oh great, now he was getting the pronouns confused. This must be what Scooter goes through every day. Well all that mattered is that he wanted Scooter alive. At least KO’d he wouldn’t be a threat to himself. 
        What an interesting ten minutes this had been. 
        After Scooter came to and did some breathing exercises to calm herself down (she would likely be doing this often from now on), they hopped in the junker Rumble drove and chased after Sweetie. They peeled out of the driveway. 
        “She’s likely back at Rarity’s by now.” Scooter speculated. He rose in the seat for dramatic flare, pointing down the road “Onward.”
        “Would you sit the fuck down?” Rumble asked as nicely as he could. “So help me Zucchini if you fall out of the car.” 
Scooter sat down. Nobody appreciates good humor. "Oh, and thanks for knocking some sense into me."

        Sweetie paced her room, and occasionally she would find a picture of the harem she didn’t turn upside down and flipped it. Stupid idiots. This is what happens when you date tomboys… and actual boys. They just betrayed you. She still lumped Scooter in with Rumble. They don’t know how to treat a lady, obviously. Men. She groaned and clenched her hands. She decided to take out some rage on her pillow, giving it a few good punches. They used to be so kind and considerate of her, but then Rumble got a real foothold on the relationship. Scooter and he were now closer than ever. They played video games with Button and his boyfriend more than anything now. It was all their fault. If Scooter wasn’t a boy… no, hold on. Sweetie stopped her pacing and scolded herself for even thinking that. She was still her friend. Damnet, she did it again! She desperately wanted to blame it all on her lovers being masculine in nature, just as an excuse. She was a lesbian for a reason after all. Since she wanted to be mad at the moment she took it and ran with it. 
        There was a light tapping on her door.
        “Sweetie?” Rarity called.
        “What!” She snapped, almost surprised by her own rage. 
        “You have some visitors and they’re practically begging to see you.” 
        “Tell them I’ll see them in an eternity!” She shouted, half sure they could hear her, wherever they were.
“Well I tried!” Rarity made a show of stomping off. 
Rarity wasn’t the sort to give up easily. Usually she would give a short word of advice about being a lady, which was what Sweetie expected in this situation. What was her motive? Sweetie tiptoed to her door and placed a convenient empty drinking glass to it. She heard what sounded like three people breathing. Knowing those stubborn mules they were sitting outside waiting. Apple Bloom and Rumble could out wait a rock, but Scooter would likely throw open the door in five minutes. Well, if that’s how they were going to play it the joke's on them.  Sweetie was prepared for a siege. She had snacks and a mini fridge full of drinks. She had homework to do anyway, so she put on her current favorite boy band and cranked up the volume before she got to work. 
….
She stole glances at the door. What were they planning? Whatever it was, it wouldn’t work. She can be stubborn too. But still, they came right? So maybe they wanted to make amends? They’d probably do something stupid like offer to let her go first and pick the dates for a while. That still wouldn’t change the fact they basically ignored her. Sure their tastes were a little different. The three waiting outside liked it a bit more rough than Sweetie was comfortable with, but they used to treat her like she wanted too be. Now they seemed to only care about themselves. 
Realizing she hadn’t actually done any homework for nearly half the album, she clicked off her stereo and groaned. She opened the door. Outside were, of course, Rumble, Scooter and Apple Bloom with stony faces sitting in the hall.
“Well go ahead and say what you have to say.” Sweetie huffed. 
“Sweetie,” Scooter began. “I’m so so so soooooooo sorry for not making you feel like part of the harem. We got so wrapped up with ourselves we pushed you to the side. That was never my intention when we began this. These two might be a little more fun to roll around with but you’re the one holding my heart. If I had to choose between a continuous rolling orgasm for the rest of my life, or just one last one with you, I’d choose you every time.”
Sweetie’s face contorted into an amusedly disgusted frown, and Apple Bloom looked at the speaker like he was crazy. 
“Love knoweth no bounds, and can be shared among among many, but none quite as much or as lovely or as beautiful and deeply as with you my love.” 
“Oh great now he’s reading poetry again.” Sweetie huffed again.
Finally, Scooter prostrated himself at her feet. “What do I have to do! I’ll cut off my own leg if you want! I’ll eat Apple Bloom’s heart!”
“Hey!” Apple Bloom didn’t like this idea one bit.
“I’ll jump off Mt. Everest! Anything my love!”
Sweetie crossed her arms. “So you promise you’ll dissolve the group?”
“Already done my queen.” Sweetie rolled her eyes. He was never this melodramatic. 
“And you two promise not to seduce her?”
“Hey!” Apple Bloom protested. 
“Have a little trust, my god!” Rumble added.
“We’re just here so you might stop being angry at us.” Apple Bloom finished. “I never wanted to do this to both of you. Scooter’s miserable, he was crying for the whole ride over, but I think that’s just her hormones. I want my friends to be happy. Trust me, I’ll make do with Rumble.”
“Can I still go over and play video games with him?” Scooter asked.
“I’m not that cruel,” Sweetie slumped. “I did promise to be more trusting after all. You can have friends.” 
“Thank you my love.” Scooter groveled. 
“Scoots. Ya forgot to mention.” 
“Oh fuck. Right. I’m… um… um…” Shit, coming out had been easier than this… “late.”
“Like your…” Sweetie trailed off since she was in mixed company. Scooter nodded. “Could… Could… you just be off schedule?”
“I hope so. We got some tests on the way over. I haven’t checked yet.” 
“What are… ya gonna do? We’re seventeen! We can’t have a child!”
“What!” Rarity exclaimed from downstairs. Within seconds she was upon them like a storm. “Rumble so help me by the Goddess!” Rumble snapped up straight “It’s Sweetie’s decision but if she decides to keep it you’re going to make an honest woman out of her! You will not leave her in a divided home! You can continue on your arrangement but your chief concern will be providing for her.” 
“Actually ma’am, Scootaloo is the one that’s late.” He quickly shot an apologetic glance to Scooter for getting his name wrong. He managed to go a whole three months. 
“Oh, well. That’s a relief. She’ll just abort it anyway.” Even Sweetie recoiled from how quickly her sister changed her mind. “Oh, sorry darling. He.”
“Am I really that predictable?” Scooter stammered. He briefly considered having the baby out of spite for a moment. Then he just as quickly reminded himself how dumb that was. 
“I sincerely doubt you want to go through with all of the fun… effects… you have to put up with when you’re pregnant dear. And it will likely remind you every waking second that you’re a woman. And that too, I doubt you desire.” 
“I mean, you’re not wrong. I’m just apparently getting used to the idea that I’m an open book.” 
“Diamonds grow jealous of your transparency dear.”
“I can’t tell if that excellent pun was intentional or not.”
“I never say a word unintentionally dear.” 
“You’re more sarcastic than normal.” Scooter noted.
“She gets this way after she binge-watches Sex in the City.” Sweetie explained. “Can I get back to my homework now?” Before she retreated she pointed at Scooter and glared. “I don’t even know what to do with you. But it will probably involve making up for the last month of--”
“Sweetie!” Rarity interrupted.
“Well you get the idea.”
“For you my love, I would tie myself to a plane and fly around the earth for you.”
“And cut that out.” 
“Yes my Sweetie.” 
Sweetie’s eyes didn’t roll this time. Instead, the entire earth rotated around her eyes. “Oh, and as for you two… I’m not as mad as I was… But I’m not quite ready to forgive you. I really do love you both, but I never wanted to be the fourth wheel. Ugh, feelings are complicated. We’ll talk later after I simmer to a rolling boil or so.” Sweetie huffed and slammed the door. 
“Well I’m gonna go pee on a stick of anyone needs me.”