Dear Princess Twilight Sparkle,
I write you this letter today on the advice of my new teacher. He says it’s important that I at least try to settle affairs before I learn from him, as it’s very easy to lose track of time once he starts to lecture. Double Diamond and the others will get similar letters from me. They deserve it at least for believing in my vision for so long. I miss them
I wish to apologise for the way I’ve stalked you the last few months. I’m guessing you didn’t even notice most of those times, which isn’t surprising. Most stalkers normally don’t want the pony they’re stalking to know she’s being stalked. I did deliberately let you see me at the School, though. I was going to unsettle you before pulling off my elaborate revenge scheme, you see. Man, was the look on your face as you did that double-take hilarious! Tell your dragon he looks cute with shades. I hope that doesn't sound too creepy.
However, things changed, and I found myself saved before I went too far. It’s rather funny, isn’t it, that I was denied acceptance to Celestia’s School for Gifted Unicorns, and yet I went on to create entirely new spells from scratch. Subpar talent my plot While researching you, I heard about how your ascension was triggered by completing one of Star Swirl’s old spells. Well, I have news for you: you’re not the only one to successfully modify one of his works. You should tell Celestia that her security sucks, it was honestly too easy to get into the Star Swirl Wing in Canterlot. A couple of swiped books later to get into elementary Chronomancy and I was in business. Honestly, I’m surprised nobody’s been able to do anything new in the field since Star Swirl’s time. Then again, he tells me the sisters weren’t all too fond of him. I guess they don’t like being upstaged in a field they still don’t understand even today.
Yes, that’s right, he. Star Swirl is alive even today. Well, ‘today’ isn’t quite the right term, but neither is ‘yesterday’ or ‘tomorrow’. Star Swirl likes to call it wibbly wobbly timey wimey stuff, he says a stallion from his own time coined in, but time moves on even for him relative to the real world. I modified a spell of his, and I ended up finding where he was located in a time outside this world. We talked. He gave me the understanding I needed. For me, it’s been several days since that lecture at the School. What he’s shown me so far is just amazing, the kind of stuff that would revolutionise magic if it were ever allowed to be spread about. It scares me to think how close I came to abusing this skill of mine.
You should thank him really. If it weren’t for him, I might have upended this world and you might not have been pushed to use magic so intense and ended up getting overweight from all that food you gobble. Seriously, it made me want to vomit watching you eat sometimes.
In the event you don’t believe me, make sure to ask Celestia or Luna about Scorpan’s Bargain or Star Swirl’s Seventh Soliloquoy. Unless there’s some obscure book that they’ve locked away somewhere, which wouldn’t really surprise me, the only beings that should remember them that aren’t here in the End of Time are those two.
Please give my regards to Fluttershy. I thought I despised her for the longest time, but of late I came to realise I actually like her. She may have betrayed me, but in retrospect, I'm fine with that. She was willing to stand up for her beliefs even though she must have been terrified. That takes real bravery. She would've found a place in Our Town.
I still hate you though and hope you choke on a dash of horseradish.
Sincerely,
Starlight Glimmer
P.S. I would seriously recommend you lay off the hayburgers, fatty! And wipe your cheeks after you consume a litre of ketchup! Seriously, you eat enough to supply a-
“A what, Spike?”
“Er…” Spike had lived with Twilight Sparkle long enough to get a good gauge on her moods at any point in time. When Pinkie Pie had popped up with a letter that she retrieved from her mane, saying she had gotten it from the mailpony who had gotten it from Discord’s home in his realm of chaos who had gotten it from a certain somepony Twilight was interested in, Twilight had shown interest. Then upon seeing the seal on the letter, she had freaked out before casting several spells upon the letter.
Spike knew those spells. Important unicorns had a seal combined with a magical signature to prove the authenticity of letters they sent, and a receiving unicorn was supposed to doubly verify it with a spell, and Twilight always used a few more to make sure it was safe. Right after she had cast the spells, however, Twilight had hopped around wildly, going “Ohmygoshohmygoshohmygosh” in a manner more reminiscent of their mutual friend the pegasus Rainbow Dash.
Then Spike had started reading it aloud to the distracted alicorn, and upon realising what it was about, the vim had left Twilight’s mane entirely, flabbergasted at the mere possibility of Star Swirl being alive and Starlight learning from him. Having never met the unicorn himself, Spike couldn’t comment from first-hand experience, but even from the letter it sounded like Starlight Glimmer was a work of art in nastiness.
“You eat enough to supply a minor nation and bankrupt your own,” Spike said, hoping that he could ‘accidentally’ burn the letter before Twilight could read it herself. Sure, it could be traceable, but the last line would surely do her in.
“Oh,” Twilight said, before she shook her head. She would have been amused at such a filly-grade insult, but the excitement of Star Swirl the Bearded still being alive and then the subsequent finding that Starlight Glimmer was a pupil of his had thrown her off the emotional rollercoaster. Personally, Spike found it a lot more likely that Starlight had figured a way to fake Star Swirl’s magical signature for a scroll seal than inventing a time spell and finding Star Swirl. “She’s just jealous. I suppose I can’t blame her though, if she spent months and months eating those terrible muffins.”
Then she asked Spike the question he didn’t want to answer. “Did she write anything else?”
Spike gulped. He didn’t want to, but if he burned the letter now Twilight would give him more chores than he ever had before, no matter if he claimed it was for her own good. Well, here went, “P.P.S. Star Swirl says that due to their unique biology, it’s impossible for an alicorn to visit this realm unless they prior visited it as a unicorn, and that he intends to never leave here either. So ha, you'll never meet your childhood icon who I'll be learning from for the next several years!”
Looking up, the baby dragon asked, “Er, Twi?” He gulped again, and immediately backed away, hoping to get away quick. He recognised the signs all too well. First, a twitch. Next, denial. Then, anger. Following that, bargaining, then depression. And instead of acceptance, anger again. And then-