//------------------------------//
// Chapter 25 Bacon and Cream 
// Story: My Daughter Chrysalis 
// by Scarheart 
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“Pumpkin?”

        I awoke groggily, my head feeling as though someone—or somepony—had been using the inside of my skull as a racquetball court. Everything was like a quivering pile of jello. I could hear a voice. A familiar voice. The relief I felt was amazing and a weight was lifted from my shoulders. Daddy was alive! He could speak! He could ground me again!

        Well, I suppose I could handle that. 

Sil was—is— a manipulator. I did not know exactly how powerful she was nor where she got it from, but it was clear to me at least she had something on par with Luna when it came to the dream realm. At least I thought so. I was having troubled thoughts when I woke up. It started when I saw Daddy’s eyes opened and focused on me. His stubbled face was creased with lines surrounding his smile, weak as it was.

        Daddy looked...old. He had always seemed, well…not old for as long as I can remember. The wrinkles were those of a middle aged man who struggled to hold on to his youth in a losing effort. Where did those gray hairs come from? When did he change from a young man to one growing old?

        I woke up to this, to my thoughts of seeing him in a new light, my mother’s words echoing in my mind. Did she want to help? Was this just a distraction from something else? With the human children here in this world and their involvement with pirates, things were not making sense. Such things flooded my thoughts as I lifted my head from Daddy’s chest, smiling weakly at him.

        “Hi, Daddy.”

        “Hey Pumpkin.”

        Alexander nuzzled me. The little guy had a worried look. Buzzing his wings, he crawled from me to Daddy, nuzzling under his chin. Without thinking, fingers were immediately scratching under a chitinous chin. He purred and Daddy turned his smile to him.

        “Hey little guy.”

        My eyes watered up. His did, too. Pain filled his soul, it seemed. “I saw them. I felt them. It was...i-it was…” Daddy could not finish. He did not have to. His emotions were of pain and old wounds. A past he would have rather left behind had suddenly erupted back into his life and his suffering was painfully palatable. He could recall everything that had happened while he had been under Queen Anisophira’s thrall. Daddy focused, tussling my mane with his other hand as he used the other to pull Alex into a hug.

        “I remember the little ones. They needed love. They were hurt. There was not enough love. They didn’t have enough love. She didn’t want them to suffer anymore. It was hurting her to see them that way.” Daddy’s voice was quiet and sullen. His grief was hers. She had given it to him and he voiced it, showed it, and felt it. Through the connection we shared, everything he had felt and was feeling was now mine to experience. Anisophira had suffered. She had given her suffering to Daddy. The queen had made him kill to protect what was precious to her.

        An unforgivable act. Understandable, but at the same time…

        “Daddy, don’t,” I murmured. Instinct pushed me to take the pain away.

        “I remember everything. I remember.”

        “Daddy, stop.”

        “I remember Tabitha. I understand why things happened, now.”

        “You can’t do this to yourself.”

        “She told me everything. She told me why.” Daddy released Alexander and cupped my chin with both hands. “Why everything happened.”

        I blinked. “Who? Tabitha? You mean Felu?” The Bitch?

        A sad smile changed into a frown. “Sil.”

        “Oh. She said she was going to fix you. She asked me to help fix your mind.”

        “She told me things.”

        Worried, I pulled back and blinked, feeling creeping fear filling my heart. “God, Daddy, what did she do to you? Are you all right? How do you feel?”

        “I’m...doing. I’m not fine. I’m not okay, but…” He shook his head as his voice trailed off, his attention now a thousand yard stare. “It’s better than what it was. I think. Some things are still fuzzy. Confusing. I saw a dark elf, Chryssie. She sat with me and we talked. We talked for a long time. She told me everything she wanted to tell me.”

        I never recalled that. Then again, the mind was a complex thing and the dreamscape could be bent and twisted at the whim of the weaver. Or so Luna had told me. Time had no meaning in dreams. Creation happened within them. Creation and destruction. From there, the imagination knew bounds limited only by the mind of whoever was in control. Normally, it was restricted to the mind, but it could be heavily influenced and guided by an outsider, given the outsider was strong enough to wrest control of a dream from the dream’s owner. Very few ponies were strong enough. Changeling queens could do it to a limited degree, but the hive mind was a completely different beast in that respect.

        No, Princess Luna ruled over dreams without peer. Or so the Germans would have had me believe! Sil moved through Daddy’s mind through his dreams with the ease comparable to the act of breathing.

        “What did you talk about?” I asked, not knowing what other question to ask. I could have opted to not ask any questions at all, but that went against my curiosity, morbid as it could be. Was it masochism? Probably. Every girl needs a hobby.

        “My daughter. Crystal.” A shudder went through Daddy’s body. “She is very proud of her granddaughter. Gentle with her. Not like how she treats her daughters. Sil says she is a very sweet little girl. Her mother—” Eyes flashed anger and conveyed loss and sadness, “—sheltered her from her aunts. She did not want them to influence her. Crystal is precious. Crystal is alive. Pumpkin, she’s alive!” Disbelief. Awe. Uncertainty clouded his thoughts, confusion broiled. On one hand, he was relieved, even happy. On the other, Daddy was hurt at having missed out on much of his daughter’s life. “My baby. She’s only aged thirteen months. She’s still a toddler. Sil said that. She said I could see her again. She wants me to be reunited with my daughter!” 

        Daddy suddenly fell into a fit of coughing. There was a pitcher of water on the nightstand next to the bed. Someone had placed it there while I had been asleep. Probably Fleur. Where was she, anyway? Mentally I shrugged as I filled the glass halfway using my telekinesis and pressed it into his hand. Alexander chirped nervously, looking at me as if I was the only being in the world that could make things right. The little nymph blinked his solid blue eyes, the glow within flickering briefly and chirped again.

        I slowly pulled myself off the bed, getting to my hooves and buzzing my wings. Waiting while Daddy drank his water, I pondered over what he had just told me. It was a revelation I had not expected. Then again, none of this would have happened if Anzealous had not mind raped my father. The little shit still had a beating coming to him. Oh, I hated that fat changeling! Another part of me was quick to interject with reason the outcome of his actions would probably not have led to this point. Oh, I could lay the blame at Celestia’s hooves. I could point at Anisophira for her transgressions.

        I could blame life, if I felt like it.

        Screw that.

Oh, I had my list. I kept it updated in my head. As much as Daddy wanted me to be a good girl, revenge was the sort of thing that was starting to have its own appeal. Like the Grinch before embarking on the mission to steal Christmas, I inwardly grinned as the foundations of a plan was beginning to bud. Everything pointed to the Empress. Everything was due to her meddling. She twisted things against the harmony of what was natural to suit her needs. Sil had her own plans.

Daddy finished his water and handed me the empty glass. “Where are you going?” he asked.

“I need to talk to Fleur about something. I also need to talk to Celestia or Luna. I have questions and I need to tell them about…”

“What’s wrong?”

“I saw inside your head, Daddy. I’m sorry, but some of the things I saw, I never knew. You hid so much from me. You suppressed so many memories. A lot of them were against your will.” I sighed and looked away. “I have my own questions. I don’t understand everything myself. I barely understand my own magic. I need answers. I need to better prepare myself so I can protect you. I’ve failed because I simply don’t know.”

He furrowed his brow and shook his head. “It’s not your fault. Some things you simply have no control over. That’s life. I know it more than you know.”

“That may be true,” I argued as I met his worry with determination. “I need to learn. I need to know. We’re going to meet a bunch of queens wearing their best rape faces and I really don’t want to go in with my pants down.”

Daddy laughed. “That’s not a very nice picture you’re painting, sweetie. You also don’t wear pants.”

“Now you know why I’m nervous,” I quipped with a grin. We were both terrified. Appropriately, we masked that fear through a horrible sense of humor. It was a very American thing to do. Wait, was I an American? I could definitely play the role, that was certain. “They’re my sisters. I can’t ignore that fact. Felu is my sister. Anisophira is my sister. Druanae, as well. I need to know about them. Until now, I knew nothing about them. I didn’t even know I had sisters until after what happened to you.”

Both of us faltered for a moment, our grins fading. “Pumpkin,” Daddy said seriously, “I don’t want you becoming something you’ll regret later in life.”

I retorted, “And I don’t want you turning into a quivering mass of fu—”

“Language!”

“—funky mental goo.” I finished lamely, curling a lip in a weaksauce smile.

“I didn’t raise you to curse like a sailor,” muttered my Old Man. “Where did you get that mouth of yours? I never taught you it was okay to say them.”

“I’m sorry.” No, not really.

“I don’t think you are,” he groused, crossing his arms and giving me the stinkeye. Alexander imitated him. It was adorable. “Look, Pumpkin, we’re in over our heads. We’re in the middle of a power play between goddesses.”

“Greek gods?” Alexander, meantime, had fluttered over to me. Apparently, he could fly. Or at least hover clumsily. “Seriously?” I let him settle on my back between my wings. I was hungry. Daddy was going to stay in bed while I got everyone food. As a queen, such decisions were mine to make and mine alone!

Wait, what?

“I’m going to get you some food, Daddy. Are you hungry? I’ll go see Celestia later.”

“I’m hungry,” the man admitted. He began to sit up.

“No, stay put,” I told him sternly. “You’re in no condition to get up. The ship’s doctor hasn’t checked on you yet and I’m not getting in trouble. I’ve gotten into enough trouble as it is. Luna still has me in her doghouse.” Well, this was true so far as I could tell. Luna had me under her microscope.

“Chrysalis Spriggs, I am your father. You do not tell me what to do!” Daddy growled. 

He was cute when he thought he was in charge. Silly human. Silly beloved father figure! You are not in charge here! If you leave this room without Celestia’s express permission, I’m sure there will be hell to pay!

“Not going to happen.” I smirked, leaning in and nuzzling him fondly. “Celestia said you are to stay put until the doc clears you. I am not going to argue with a pony that can move the sun on a whim.”

“We’re on the ship, aren’t we?” He did not acknowledge his bedridden assignment. Even after all these years, he was still a soldier at heart.

“Yeah,” I said. “We put you back on board the Mare Crisium and found you a more secure room. No windows and you’re close the the ship’s infirmary. There are wards on wards for the wards to make sure you’re warded from being kidnapped again. It’s very complicated and would be even more impressive if not for the damage done to the crystal matrix down in the shield room.”

“Is that so?” Daddy asked with some interest. “Near the engine room?”

“No, Daddy, there are two engine rooms, one in each hull. The shield matrix room is near the center of the bottom deck just in front of the aft hanger. It’s one of the most protected part of the ship. The changelings got in when they figured out one of the ship’s weaknesses.” He gave me a confused look. “Ah, I kinda went over the ship’s blueprints when I was bored.”

Just about then one of the nurses entered after knocking. “I see you are awake, Mr. Spriggs,” she said cheerfully. She wore the plain white uniform of the navy. A stethoscope was draped over her neck. The mare flinched when she saw the big bad teenage changeling with the nymph on her back staring at her. The effects of the raid was still making some ponies flinch from the sight of a fanged bug horse with green cat eyes. Her smile faded a little, but she recovered as she approached Daddy’s bed. “How are you feeling?”

“Hungry,” he replied. “My daughter was about to get me something to eat.”

“Well, I won’t stop you from doing that.” The nurse brightened as her stethoscope was brought up from its place around her neck. She cleared her throat as she began checking vitals.

“Twice in one week,” Daddy muttered. “This is starting to feel like a horrible story.”

Okay, if you are reading this and you think this is a horrible story, I don’t blame you. Sometimes life is a horrible story. Just ask Charlie Sheen. What? Don’t look at me like that!

“Anything you want?” I asked him, quirking a brow.

“Bacon. Eggs. Pancakes. More bacon. Orange juice. Bacon.”

“You said bacon three times.”

“I like bacon.”

“No guarantees. Is there bacon on board this ship?” I had turned on the nurse.

“We do have a small contingent of griffons on board. There should be something that you will like,” she replied while nodding.

For those of you who think ponies are squeamish at meat eaters, take that!

“Awesome!” I giggled. “I’ll leave you two alone. Try to keep it down!” And without pausing, I trotted out of the room, leaving in my wake the sounds of sputtering and awkward laughter.

Now, any warship you go through does not have wide corridors. On pony ships, it was a bit wider to allow for a pair of equines to pass each other without scraping the walls. Because of this, a lot of pony designs, I discovered, focused on wide beams for stability. Equestrian designs were focused on sturdiness and close quarters combat for ships like pirate corsairs or even some of the larger converted merchant ships. They were also designed to match up against other nations. Ponies are peaceful, sure, but it’s not only the fear of goddesses other species have of Luna and Celestia. Oh, no. The Equestrian navy is plenty capable of going toe-to-toe with other capital ships from, say, the griffons or the minotaurs.

So long as they don’t get the ship like the Mare Crisium involved in a battleship duel, she should serve out a long and busy career. As the first ship of her class, there was already some talk in converting her into a museum, but that was a couple of decades from now.

I’ll bet you weren’t expecting me to be familiar with the Equestrian Naval Doctrine. Hey, I like machines. I miss my Mustang. I wonder how Discord is doing with the house sitting thing?





Somewhere in the middle of the American Heartland, a certain farmhouse sat where it had always sat since its foundation had been laid more than a century before. It was a typical house one might pass while driving on a dusty country road; two stories with an attic, a completely redone roof, solar panels, and a massive winged unicorn weathervane with its rear raised up high in the air while the neck stretched out into the wind. If one looked closely, the winged unicorn appeared to wearing a comical face as if in mid grunt.

Now, next to the house was an old barn a bit larger than the house. A Hyundai sat in the driveway just before the great double doors. It had been recently washed. A bucket of dirty and soapy water sat next to it. On the side of the barn was a massive recreational vehicle. It too had been washed. One of the doors had been opened just a little, letting the light of day fall inside. A sliver of sunshine fell upon one of the headlights of a black little Mustang, a vintage model lovingly recrafted and rebuilt into a mint condition.

Next to it stood a certain draconequus. He loomed over the car much as an eagle might loom over a loom. Or something. With his lion paw, he tugged at his thin little beard, contemplating flatulating mice while his eagle claw arm scratched at an itch of creativity on his belly.

His manic, misshaped eyes roved over the Mustang with the eagerness of a mole chasing earthworms. The moles were armed with grenade launchers. The Military Channel had been insightful.

“Hmm,” he said, his tail twitching as he began to slowly skip around the car. “Nice craftsponyship. Everything looks professionally done. Looks like that girl did a real bang-up job in restoring this old beauty! However!” He peered into one of the side view mirrors and switched his lone snaggly tooth from one corner of his mouth to the other. “It’s missing something. Dice hanging from the mirror?” He looked inside. “Yep. Leather seats? Check. Restraints? Check. Life sized blow-up doll of Sunbutt? Check! Oh, wait, that was Sombra’s.” Sheepishly he plucked the offending thing from the driver’s seat and threw it into a convenient wormhole. With a snap of his fingers, it disappeared behind the sound of a deflating whoopee cushion.

Then, an idea occurred to him. A terrible idea. A wonderful idea. An idea so awful and amazing it would make the Grinch’s heart curl into a cruel, cruel grin and make his face grow three sizes too big! Or something like that.

“This is what happens when I don’t get enough exposure in a story!” cackled the draconequus. But, at the last moment before he obliterated this story from existence, Discord sighed and let his arms drop. “Then again, why waste a perfectly good car? It would be a shame, I think. Don’t you guys? Yes, I know you’re watching. I can smell the neckbeards among you. I suppose you guys are wondering just what it is I’m doing in this garage, lurking over dear little Chrysalis’ coming of age project here.” He patted the hood of the car. “It’s missing something, don’t you guys think? Yes? No? Some of you don’t know how to drive?”

“I wonder...I wonder...oh, how I wonder!”

Discord smirked, grinned, then began to chortle. His mad eyes swirled. “Well, I can’t do anything unless I know every characteristic of this car from a personal standpoint. I think I shall take it for a spin!” His form shimmered, taking on the guise of the long legged and skinny man who had given a certain human a certain lottery ticket thirteen years ago. Cackling as he slid into the driver’s seat, he pulled the door closed and strapped himself in. With a snap of his fingers, the doors opened. The Hyundai stood up and walked to one side, bowing as the Mustang rolled by on a purring engine. The RV sang dramatic opera as a shaft of sunlight spotlighted the emerging car.

“Twilight, my dear,” Discord purred, drumming his fingers on the steering wheel, “it’s time to have a little fun!”

As he drove off, two field agents representing Uncle Sam while sitting in an unmarked black SUV stared in muted awe and fear at what they had just seen.

“Did...did we just record that?” one asked the other after an immensely long moment of shocked silence.

His partner checked the equipment. “Jesus Effing H. Christ!” she uttered in a shuddering breath. Yes. We got it.”

“Let’s call it in.”





Yeah. Nothing wrong could happen, could it? I’ve never met Discord and Fluttershy says he’s a very nice person...being...thing...draconequus. So, I guess I really don’t have a choice in the matter. I just hope my car is okay. I really would like to see it.

I found the galley easily enough, though the stares at the back of my head carried some unfriendly and fearful emotions along with them. I had expected it, but it still hurt. I guess I could sum it up as feeling like long distance bullying. It was painful, but I ignored it. I tried to, anyways.

I loaded up a couple of plates. There was bacon to be had! Daddy would be pleased. It took a few moments, but I had food grasped in my magic and gingerly I made my way back from whence I had come. Alexander made himself useful by tugging at my mane and chirping loudly at any ponies we happened across. He was trying to be friendly as his tail wagged excitedly like a beagle puppy on a sugar rush.

Stares were still going in my direction, but I didn’t care. Daddy was awake, probably baffling the doctor. He was supposed to have still been in a coma. He wasn’t now. I guess Sil did something good to him. Was she a good person? I don’t think I want to trust her. I don’t think she is worthy of my trust. I frowned a little as my thoughts drifted off to her. It was obvious my mother wanted something besides my return to her side.

Shaking myself free of such pondering, I smiled toothily at one of the marines. He was going in the opposite direction and gave me a professional nod. I sensed indifference from him. “Excuse me,” I intoned politely, expertly handling the food so nothing spilled or was overturned.

In turn, he hugged the wall to allow me and the massive pile of food aside.

“For the human?” he asked curiously.

“Yep!”

Satisfied with the answer, he resumed his journey to wherever, giving me another nod. “I like the human,” he said just loud enough. “Nice to see a changeling who’s not a bitch.” I don’t think that part I was meant to hear. I have very good hearing. A little better than the average pony’s hearing, but nowhere near as good as a thestral.

Where had he met a changeling before? I wondered, dismissing the recent events. Ah, well, I guess everypony who’s ran into changelings has their own horror story associated with it. The shrinks are probably raking in a lot of business when it comes to changeling horror stories. Am I a horror story? I can’t be a horror story. I’m adorable! If you like fangs, chitin, gossamer wings, and soulful eyes.

Soulful?

Eh.

Eventually I made it back to Daddy’s room. Now he had the doctor checking up on him while the nurse was taking vitals. And I wanted to tease him and the nurse a little more. Oh well!

“Food!” I called out as I entered. “They had bacon!”

“Bacon!” Daddy crowed happily. “Gimme!”

A very confused doctor backpedaled from my entrance and manic grin. “Excuse me!”

“Bacon!” I said to him.

“Bacon!” Daddy parroted, reaching hungrily for the aluminum tray piled high with bacon...and a few other things. Bacon is important.

“Bacon?” Squeaked the doctor nervously. Oh, he was one of those types of ponies. Intolerant to bacon and its bacony goodness.

“Bacon!” I growled as the food was now in Daddy’s grasp. “If you fear the consummation of the greatest food in the world and my father, I suggest you leave. It’s about to get messy. Daddy is in his natural environment.” Daddy has a very good appetite. I’ve spent years cooking for him. The kitchen is usually my domain.

Yeah, not only am I a crack mechanic, but I’m also one hell of a cook. If there are any feminists reading this, don’t be offended. Cooking is an amazing hobby that lets you experiment in new and tasty ways to tease the taste buds! Now, before I go further off on a tangent, can we please get back to the story at hand? Hoof? Whatever.

The doctor excused himself, becoming a little pale under his fur. The nurse sighed and rolled her eyes at him. “Sorry about that. He was raised in a pony only community and has trouble dealing with omnivores and predators. He’s a good doctor. One of the best, actually. Please don’t hold it against him. He was drafted.”

“Drafted?” Daddy asked, bacon almost touching his lips. “You guys have a working draft?”

“Well,” said the nurse, rotating a hoof in the air slowly as she gathered her thoughts, “Yes, but almost exclusively in the medical field. Very few doctors go through medical school with the intention of joining the military. There’s no bits in it. So, whenever, say for example, the Guard are short on doctors, they institute a draft. The ratio of doctors to guardsponies is set to a certain percentage for maximum efficiency.”

“That’s kind of shitty,” Daddy grunted then popped bacony goodness into his mouth. He chewed for a few moments. Through a mouthful, he added, “Keep in mind I’m talking from the perspective of a soldier of a nation where it’s an all volunteer force.”

The nurse nodded with interest. “Ah, so are you familiar with how a draft works?”

“Yep. All males on the age of eighteen are required by law to register for the draft. It’s only used in dire circumstances, say if war were declared.”

I ate in silence as the two discussed armies and war and the sorts of things one would not expect a nurse and a patient to talk about. Usually Daddy was pretty sullen and withdrawn when it came to talking about his years in the army. However, the conversation never steered towards his own personal experiences beyond what had just been said. Alexander helped himself to what I had on my tray. I giggled and noted he had a lacking education when it came to using utensils. I decided to spend the rest of the meal teaching him the ways of the Fork Master. Of course, I had a spork to work with.

Sporks in Equestria….go figure.

Eventually the nurse had to go do her rounds, having lingered longer than her rounds allowed. There were plenty of injured ponies recovering from the changeling attack. The whole ship was a bundle of frayed nerves. At least they seemed to not mind me as much as they probably should have. More than likely the princesses had words with Blueblood and he in turn passed it on down the chain of command: Leave Chrysalis alone.

I gathered up the now empty trays and deposited Alexander on Daddy’s lap. He had tried to use the utensils, but now he needed a bath. I really needed to find the princesses. Daddy waved me off while Alexander curled up on his belly, imitating his motions when he saw what the human was doing. I rolled my eyes.

“Yeah, yeah, I know when I’m not wanted,” I complained dramatically and then grinned. “Be back later.”

“Promises, promises,” tched Daddy.

I left, flicking my tail in my wake. Once again, I was trotting down the corridors, rooting through my memories the inner map I had of the ship. Where would the suites be? Celestia would no doubt be in hers doing paperwork. Or she could be rutting one of her guards for all I knew. Did she take pleasure along with her business? I think she mixes them. When you’re thousands and thousands of years old, have infinite cosmic power, you can pretty much do whatever the hell you want. Yes, she has an image to uphold, but she’s a mare and a mare has needs.

I really don’t want to walk in on her getting her freak on. That would be awkward.

Insert mental image here. That’s okay. I can wait. It’s going to take me about three minutes to get to her door. Imagine some thinking music while you create that imagery. Good? Let us proceed! And no, I don’t want to know what your twisted imagination is showing you, you pervert!

There were two Solar Guards outside her door. There were always guards on her door. Luna also had guards outside hers. I smiled at the stallions. They looked ahead, stoic as always. Such professionals!

“Is Princess Celestia in?” I asked sweetly.

“She is.”

“Is she taking visitors?”

The guard on the right broke his staring contest with the wall. “I will ask, Miss Spriggs.”

“Thanks, cutie!” I beamed at him and batted my lashes. I have long, sexy lashes.

His companion snerked while the door was opened and the first guard poked his head in. “Miss Spriggs is here, Your Majesty.”

“Send her in, please,” came the motherly voice.

I went in, fully expecting an orgy of Roman proportions to be underway. Every seen the movie Caligula? Yeah. Me neither. I was both disappointed and relieved to find Celestia was sitting by her window, sans regalia and golden slippers, and just observing the clouds drifting by. I could make out small islands a thousand feet below as the ship passed over them. The window was opened and I could smell the salty air and hear the distant calls of the gulls over the humming engines. She was drinking tea. Not soda. Not water. Not kumquat juice. Tea. As usual. The Solar Princess appeared very naked without her crown. Naked and stunningly beautiful. Wowza!

“Do you ever drink anything other than tea?” I asked, not thinking. She smiled up at me and beckoned me to the seat across from her small table. I complied. Once I was close enough, she reached out a wing and used the tip to ruffle my mane behind my horn.

“I do. But there are many varieties of tea for different things.  It is Valerian root tea, blended with chamomile. Very bitter. This is a calming tea. It’s quite good. Care for some?” Her smile was gentle and motherly. I like it when she smiles. It is always a genuine smile. And the love behind it….she really does love all of her ponies, you know that? I was tasting it. It was the love of a mother. It made me see the burden on her shoulders was massive. How did she do it without Luna for all those years? Chamomile for miles?

Clearly, she wasn’t having sex. “Sure, I’ll try it.”

“Are you familiar with adulterating?” Celestia asked.

“Adultery? Who are you cheating on?” Why did I ask that question? It just came out!

The white princess in all her perfectness laughed. “No! Not adultery. Adulterating. It’s putting something into a tea to change the flavor. It is considered weakening the tea, making it inferior by adding something else to it. It could be as simple as cream and sugar. Usually, it is mixing other blends of tea with whatever you have on hoof. It is a very broad wording. I personally have experimented with many blends over the years. I like to think I am quite proficient at it.”

“Oh!” I was blushing. I could feel it. “I feel stupid.”

“Don’t, my dear,” Celestia patted my cheek with the same wing tip. “Learning should be an enjoyable journey. We can discuss whatever is on your mind while we have tea. The past few days have been quite hectic. The damage to the ship was a bit more severe than initially believed. Human children were found captives on a slaver ship. A dragon fought my sister. We thought him dead, but his body disappeared sometime during the night. There is no trace. I suspect a very strong outside source is responsible. I believe it is your birth mother. The Empress. She is toying with me, my sister, and our patience.” She poured. “How many lumps?”

I was staring at her, jaw swinging like a porch swing. Shaking myself of my dumbfounded expression, I managed, “Two, I think?”

Two lumps went in. None came out. “Cream?”

“Sure,” crawled out of my vocal chords.

Celestia smiled as she creamed me. She asked, “How is your father?”

“Daddy’s awake. He just ate.” I gave her a broad smile, buzzing my wings.

“I am glad to hear that,” she sighed in relief. “I like your father. He is focused on your happiness.” Celestia’s smile faded and she sighed, flicking her gaze out the window. Her tea cup lifted to her lips and she took a practiced sip. Her attention went to me again as the cup lowered. “My dilemma is layered. Some are coming to light and they trouble me. I suspect the world you grew up may have an interdimensional war at its doorstep.” She stared into her tea. I numbly did the same.

“Why are you telling me this?”

“The Empress is not interested in war against Equestria,” Celestia hummed thoughtfully. “I would even venture to think she has her sights somewhere else. She is planning something big. Everything to this point has been a distraction. She is trying to make a point.”

“What point is that?”

“Obviously, she already knows about the world you grew up in. Based on that, I should imagine she is very much aware of my work towards my goal of establishing diplomatic relations with humanity, what nations would be willing to accept my little ponies in friendship.” Celestia sighed again, took another sip of her tea, then said, “I suspect the Empress does not want this to happen. I do not know why human children were involved. It is quite possible some of her non-changeling lackies decided to help themselves to exotic slaves. However, there are reports that suggest she is herself a dealer in the buying and selling of sapient flesh.”

I blinked. “You want me involved. Why?”

She smiled. “You have the unique experience of being raised in a home full of love. You know the society in which you were brought up. You are familiar with humans far more intimately than even my most covert of operatives scattered around the human world. I think you can be a bridge between our world and theirs. I should like to offer you a role as an ambassador between the United States and Equestria. Or at least as an advisor to the ambassador I intend to appoint.”

What!? “Me? Why me?”

“Facebook,” Celestia replied with a wry grin. “You have over two thousand followers on Facebook. You use your photos as your own art. You post them everywhere.”

I frowned a bit. “What does that have to do with anything?”

“That is your social media, isn’t it? One of them, at least.” Celestia sipped her tea again, her smile never wavering. She had That Look in her eyes. That Look was directed at me. “The human world is connected through computers. Humans are by nature very social creatures.”

“Yeah, I guess they are,” I mumbled. I sipped my tea. “May I have more cream?”

“Certainly.”

“So, what is this about using social media?”

“Did you know some of your followers are actually members of the Federal Bureau of Investigations? They have been watching you for some time. Perhaps the time to reveal my little ponies a little sooner than I had hoped. Events are constantly shifting, nothing is ever idle. You are as connected as any pony I have embedded on Earth.” Celestia hummed thoughtfully as I stirred the fresh cream in my tea. “It would also prepare the humans. How they will react will vary, I think, depending upon the regions.”

“The Feds?” I squeaked, my eyes shrinking to pinpricks. “What do you mean? The F.B. freaking I.? As in the G-Men? How? When? For how long?”

“Five years, from what I can tell.” Celestia poured herself another cup. An ear flicked as I began to hyperventilate. “Calm down, child,” she assured me gently, “I have a pony within their ranks who is high enough to keep the dogs at bay, as it were. To this point, their orders were only to observe you and your father and only interfere if you pose a threat to the local populace. This was also how I was able to ascertain your location.”

I made sounds. I think they were words. It was a wonderful sort of babbling, if being horrified was one’s cup of tea. Yay me!

“Relax, Chrysalis,” Celestia bade me.

I felt the ship shudder as her engines cut down. Both the princess and I felt the ship heave to starboard gently. There was a knock at the door.

“Enter,” called out the princess. The alicorn smiled at the officer who entered. He bowed deeply to his ruler. “Rise and report, my good stallion.”

“We have arrived, Your Majesty. Prince Blueblood wished me to inform you there is a formation of changelings approaching. The admiral felt it was prudent to put the ship on yellow alert just in case.” The unicorn waited for Celestia’s response.

“A welcoming party, I should imagine,” surmised the princess. “We arrived a bit late, but things could not be helped. Advise my nephew I shall join him on the bridge shortly. I leave everything in his capable hooves.” The officer bowed and departed as quickly and quietly as he had come.

“I do apologize, Chrysalis,” she said to me with a sigh. “But we must cut our conversation short. Do think about my proposal. There are more details I would like to go in depth before you make a decision. Keep in mind my purposes are always in the name of peace and harmony. All can live beneath those two principles.” She gave me a nuzzle. “Changelings, ponies, humans, and all the others.”

“I’ll think about it,” I promised. I should have blew a raspberry at her, but hey! Nobody’s perfect! I love Celestia to death. I just wish she wasn’t so damned perfect. “Is it okay if I go back to Daddy’s room? He’s still not feeling exactly normal after everything that’s been going on. Daddy is miserable. He wants to go home.”

“Of course,” she said sympathetically. “I will drop by to see him before we go to the surface.” We both rose at the same time to our hooves. She adjusted her wings while I buzzed mine. “I like your father. My sister likes your father. Fleur...well…” She tittered knowingly.

“I’ve felt it,” I agreed with a giggle. “Not sure how I feel about it though.” I frowned. “What of Anisophira and the Bitch?” I had a new name for Felu. It fit her perfectly.

“Language, dear,” Celestia reprimanded gently. “They will be present with me when we greet the entourage. Don’t worry, they know not to come near you or your father without permission from either of you. Now, get to your father. There is much to be done.”

Of course there was. Daddy was going to meet Crystal again. I could feel it.