Sebaste had just finished a patrol and was about to enter Sugarcube Corner when he saw a figure nearby in bulky armor. Thinking it was his friend, he called out, “Sasha, that you?” But when the figure turned around, he realized that it was a guy in a Buzz Lightyear costume, and the head under the clear dome was unmistakable. “Oh you have got to be kidding me…” the Spartan groaned. “Of all the Displaced that show up, why did it have to be Deadpool?!” He shook his head and walked up to the Merc before tapping him on the shoulder. “Any reason you’re here in a Buzz Lightyear costume?” He asked.
Deadpool looked at Sebaste and- “Sebaste!? The hell type of name is that? Sounds like a Depression pill of some sort. And why are you walking around in that suit? Don't you know that Halo’s popularity died after Halo 3 AND Destiny? Halo 4 was alright, I guess, but it felt like Tron Legacy in the campaign. Don't get me started on Halo 5! 7 8 F**king Requisition points! Stupid, half ass story that can suck my balls! Stupid new guy trying to be the next thing! Your masters tried TOO MUCH to replace you, but this is Like Batman V. Superman whereas the fighting will be short. But enough about your fails, how's it like having your crotch be the symbol of Destiny?”
Sebaste stared at Deadpool in annoyance and confusion. ++“Sasha, I need you right now, we have a new Displaced and you won't believe who it is…”++ he radioed to the Astartes.
++“What, is it Spiderman?”++ Sebastian chuckled through the link.
++“ No, it’s someone who puts Pinkie to shame in fourth wall breaking.”++
++“You don't mean… How in the Emperor's name did he even get here? We didn't even summon him!”++ Sebastian said in confusion. ++“I’m on my way, where are you guys at?”++ he then asked.
++“Sugarcube Corner, you can't miss us, Deadpool’s in a Buzz Lightyear costume for some reason, Sebaste out.”++ the Spartan cut the link and turned to Deadpool. “You mind opening that dome of yours?” He asked. “That costume isn't real, you know.”
Deadpool took a few steps back. “No touchy the functioning Buzz Lightyear suit! It took a lot of cash, around 52 million, to get this suit, and I intend to not ruin it with my blood! If you want me out of my suit, then you, Master Chief, are gonna have to take your helmet off and show the world your handsome mug for once! I have. Oh, and who were you talking to? I can't really tell, what with the voice altering things in radios, but was your partner a dude or a gal? If it's a gal, are you engaged or single? I CALL HER!!! But if it's a dude, are you both in a Bromance, or a BROMANCE!?” he pointed both of his index fingers together, suggesting something.
“No, we are not in a bromance and I'm not the Master Chief, I got
Displaced as a Orbital Spartan! Another thing, how the bloody hell did you even get here?! We didn't summon you, unless… great, it’s like the Alliance and Empire appearing on here again…” Sebaste groaned just as Sebastian walked up.
“So you’re the guy that has Sebaste sounding annoyed? If you're trying to imitate a Adeptus Astartes, it isn't working.” He chuckled.
“... You need a life.” Deadpool deadpanned. “I'm in my Buzz Lightyear outfit that I got from NASA after paying them the 52 million I ‘borrowed’ from Kanye West’s Bank account. And who are you? I get your buddy here is from Haloz, but you look like something from another Sci-Fi game. … Rejected power Armor from the Fallout Games? Tony Stark’s Hulk Buster suit? … OH MY GOD!!! YOU'RE MICHAEL BAY’S CONCEPT FOR BUZZ LIGHTYEAR!!! MY CHILDHOOD IS RUINED!!!” He fell to his knees, wailing.
“No to all of the above, I'm a Adeptus Astartes from Warhammer 40,000, from the Dark Angels chapter to be precise. Ever heard of it?” Sebastian said in exasperation.
“...HELL NAH!!! I've heard of Undertale, Gotcha Force, and Creepy Noodles, but I ain't heard of Asparagus Aperatus in Emo Angels!” He teleported right behind the two. “Now if you excuse me, I'm gonna find some people that I can talk to without requiring an Encyclopedia! Have fun being in the Wachowski's next flop!”
“What the…?!” The duo spun around to face Deadpool. “Geez, not even Pinkie is this random!” Sebaste said. “What Sasha means is that he got Displaced as a soldier from a tabletop miniatures sci fi game called Warhammer 40,000.”
“Oh! Part of those annoying as hell P.C. ‘Master Race’ people? Well, as a reminder to you all, watch watchmojo’s top 10 failed PC ports! If not, Arkham Knight and MKX!!! Warner Bros. Hates you guys! And your name is Sasha? Isn't that a chick name? Unless… YOU LIED TO ME!!! Show me your face, Sasha!”
Sebastian sighed in annoyance before taking off his helmet, showing a face that was in its mid 20s with brown eyes and short dark brown hair. “This satisfy you?” He asked the merc.
“... So you're a masculine woman or what?”
“I’m not a woman! I’m a male!” Sebastian growled. Sebaste, noticing the warning signs, put his hand on the Astartes’s shoulder to calm him down.
“Deadpool, a word of warning, don't get a Astartes angry.” The Spartan
said. “Won’t end well for those who do. Now why are you here?”
“Our Authors wanted a crossover,” Deadpool answered “so here I am. What about you two? Any reason why you're here, besides trying to make yourselves look cool to pony and readers alike?”
“We were Displaced here! We didn't ask to get sent here by that blasted
merchant!” Sebastian snarled, summoning a plasma pistol before calming down and desummoning it.
“OH!!! You're Cosplayers!!! I should've known! I tried Cosplaying once; Sailor Moon, as I remember. I was so Goddamn fabulous! Short skirt, panties, wigs! Seriously, I know I'm into chicks, but Hooey! Those were some man kisses!!! I think I got tongue as well.”
The duo looked at Deadpool in confusion. “Okay…. But how did you end up in Equestria? We didn't see a token or anything of yours…”
“Oh! I was brought in by Lyra Heartstrings! Man, she was fun. In fact, everyone I meet, I had fun with! Even Tirek, right after I decapitated him.”
“I’m guessing we’re not the first Displaced you’ve met?” Sebastian asked.
“The last Displaced we met was Cruger from Power Rangers SPD…”
“Oh my god! Me too!!! Man, we both had a great time; Referencing Monty Python, having me in a card and near his balls, taking down the Smooze, and kissing each other in passion! Next time, though, we're having it Doggy style!”
The duo facepalmed in sync. “What the bloody hell….” Sebastian muttered.“So other than that, you’ve encountered others like us. At least you haven’t met Ahriman, may the warp take him... ” he growled out the last bit.
“Well… there's this Electric Kid I meet with my Non-Moondancer. (I want her so badly!) And I also meet this weird, non-Ghoul girl straight Tokyo Ghoul, but she had the ability to divide herself, though only two: a full human and a full ghoul. Plus, won't lie, she was HAWT!”
Just as Sebaste was about to say something, a plasma shot zipped passed his head, nearly hitting Deadpool also. “Not again… I thought we took care of those idiots…” the Spartan groaned, turning to see a small force of Covenant charging in, it consisted of 4 Storm Elite minors, a Storm Elite Commander, 6 Storm Jackals and 9 Storm Grunts. “DEATH TO THE COVENANT!” Sebastian roared before going into his Terminator armored form and taking out two Jackals with his plasma cannon.
“ACTION TIME!!!” Deadpool teleported to the front, football kicking a Grunt in it's nuts. The suit he wore had an operating laser, which he fired rapidly at the Elite Commander. “I'm gonna Teebag your face! Also, you're a Terminator!? That franchise died after the Piece of s**t Genysis!”
“It’s Tactical Dreadnought Armor! Seriously, look up Warhammer
40,000!” Sebastian yelled as he smashed a Elite minor into the ground with his power fist. Meanwhile, Sebaste had summoned a pair of SMGs and was laying waste to the remaining grunts.
“I DON'T GIVE A F**K!!!” Deadpool snapped the neck of another Elite “And until I give up on life, I won't learn your Manhammer games!”
“Right, that’s it…” Sebastian growled before going into his Contemptor
Dreadnought form and mowing down the remaining Jackals with his Kheres Assault Cannon. ++“I’m gonna make sure you lot are eradicated after this!”++
He growled as he crushed another elite minor in his grip before throwing it into the last Elite.
Deadpool, meanwhile, watched the rampage below. He munched on some Popcorn. Sebaste looked up at him and yelled, “ Oy, this ain't the time for slacking off! We need to make sure no one else got hurt!”
“Ooh! British accents!” Deadpool spoke, followed by clearing his voice “It's always the perfect time to goof off Gov’nor! I already worked my trousers off, so if you need ‘elp, it's gonna cost ya some coin!”
“I’m not doing a British accent!” Sebaste yelled. “I’m American, not British!” Sebastian had just finished dealing with the last Elite and was going back to his power armor form when he heard Sebaste yell at Deadpool.
“Now what's going on?” The Astartes asked as he walked up.
“Apparently Deadpool decided to take a break. We still need to make sure that no one was hurt.” Sebaste replied.
“That, I can do!” Deadpool spoke “And, though I don’t want to quote him, but the best weapon is that you have to pull the trigger once, so…” everyone froze as Deadpool let out a long, awkward fart. With the exception of the grunts, the Jackals and Elites sniffed the air, only to fall down and gag on the smell. “See! That’s the power of Indian food!”
“Deadpool!” Sebaste gave the merc an annoyed look. “That's not cool man! I didn't need that to stink up the joint!” He coughed at the smell.
“Agreed, that was unnecessary. And will you take off that suit?!” Sebastian asked. “You look ridiculous in it!” He then pressed the open button for the dome on the suit. Deadpool gasped as the dome flipped open. He gagged and fell to his knees, holding onto Sebastian’s feet. Both Sebaste and Sebastian looked at Deadpool, then to each other with an annoyed look, then back to Deadpool. The Merc stopped his gagging and sniffed the air.
“There isn’t… toxic.” He said in a surprised tone, standing back up to his feet. “How dare you open a crossoveree’s helmet in an unmarked dimension!? My balls could’ve been sucked from their sockets!!!” He flipped his helmet back on. The suit fell into pieces. “... Oh Lincoln Logs.”
“This isn't space, if we were in space then that would happen!” Sebaste
said, annoyance seeping into his tone.
“Well excu~se me, Dorks! My author told me it was Sci-fi, so I figured space, which equals no gravity, and it equals no Oxygen, and that meant I can wear my busted, but awesome, Buzz Lightyear outfit. Thanks for ruining my near 52 million dollar suit! Now Kanye West’s going to be a homeless guy for sure!” They both stared at Deadpool annoyed. “... You guys like Cupcakes? Not the fanfic from Sergeant Sprinkles, but legit cupcakes from Sugarcube Corner. First round’s on me!” He teleported away. They turned to each other and, without a word, they ran to Sugarcube Corner.
Inside Sugarcube Corner, more precisely, the kitchen, Pinkie was preparing another batch of her delicious cupcakes that everypony enjoyed. As she baked, she stopped as she heard something land on the floor. Turning, Pinkie was introduced to a man in red spandex with black around his white eyes.
“...Hi!” Pinkie greeted. “I’m Pinkie Pie!”
“Hi!” Deadpool replied “Call me Deadpool! It rhymes with ‘No School’, ‘Too Cool’, ‘Ain’t no fool’, and” He pulled a certain mask out “‘I’m the best there is at what I do’.” Pinkie couldn’t help but laugh, followed by some snorting. Deadpool picked her up and carried her like a baby. “So~, making a batch of your Grade A cupcakes, eh?”
“You betcha!”
“ Should’ve known this would happen…” Sebastian groaned. “It’s gonna
be fourth wall breaking off the wazoo…”
“Hey!” Deadpool yelled. “Trying to make some cupcakes here! Epic Meal Time Style!”
Sorry boys, you’re on your own!
Sebaste rolled his eyes at the air. “Great…” he muttered. “I’m going insane, I’m hearing a voice in my head that said I’m on my own and I know there isn't anyone else next to me besides Sasha…” The door flung open with Deadpool and Pinkie flinging themselves, both holding batches of cupcakes and landing in Sebaste and Sasha’s arms.
“Aw, don't be sad,” Pinkie spoke in Sebaste’s arms. “Look! This one is you, Twilight, Fluttershy, Luna, and me!”
“And this one is you, me, Rarity, Applejack, Rainbow Dash, and Sunbutt!” Deadpool added. “Let's have some fun!” Awkward silence fell upon them all. “Uh… Hello? Author? Why is everyone… quiet?”
Probably because things have been crazy?
“Okay, I’m out of here…” Sebastian growled, dropping Deadpool and
walking out. Deadpool, however, teleported and held onto Sebastian’s helmet.
“OK, first, are you Sebastian or Sasha; Stick with one name! Second, despite the Lunacy, why is Pinkie quiet? I mean, look at her! She's tearing up!” Sure enough, Pinkie was tearing up with some sniffling. “Now… tell me what happened, or else I'm gonna turn you into a permanent Sasha.”
“For one, my name is Sebastian, but my friends call me Sasha for short, and for two, let go of my helmet!” The Astartes snapped.
I’d listen to him Deadpool, the last person that ticked him off got impaled
on his Lightning Claws… very messy...
“What kind of fun did you have in mind, Deadie?” Pinkie asked.
“Find the guy who's speaking in Italics.” Deadpool answered, teleporting and balance on Sasha’s head with both feet. “Okay, Mr. Italics! Show yourself, or I'm going upload the Dank gif of Master Chief dancing!”
“GET OFF!” Sebastian roared before grabbing Deadpool and throwing
him out the door.
I warned you… and for your information, this is the Author of this story,
Company Master Sebaste or as it was supposed to be, Company Master Sebastian.
A flash of light exploded in front of Sugarcube Corner, before revealing a
power armored figure in Dark Angels livery, wearing a cape and a winged helmet. He was equipped with a wicked looking power sword, the head of it shaped like an arrow, and an ornate combi-plasma. “And I would prefer it if you did not tick my namesake and my OC off.” the figure said to Deadpool.
“... TERRORIST!!!” Deadpool yelled, pulling his pistol out. He fired, but missed. He fired and missed again. And then he fired again, and he missed. And he fired and he fired and missed. He missed both times. And he fired and he missed. This went on for several hours. And he fired, and he missed. Then he ran out of bullets. He got sad and had a popsicle. Then he passed out, but he woke, and he reloaded and he fired and he missed. He missed again. He hit something, but it wasn’t what he was aiming for, so he missed and passed out again… and had another popsicle. Somehow, Luna watched as he had where he fired at something, and he missed. Then he woke up again. Not only was it night, but there were holes around the author’s feet. “... Uh… I think he's part of the covenant… or something.”
“You really think a gun from the 21st century is gonna work on me?” The
figure asked in amusement before turning deadly serious. “And you just made the mistake of annoying the author…” he growled before taking aim with his own weapon.
At that Pinkie winced. “Oops, maybe you shouldn't have done that Deadie…”
The duo looked on in shock at the figure aiming the Combi-plasma at Deadpool.
“A Company Master?!” Sebastian muttered. “Well that’s a surprise…”
“Wait!” Deadpool yelled. “Before you shoot me down,” He pulled out a shot glass with some flask “If you’re the author of this world? Tell me, who’s typing right now!?”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PJLSzsEjpWM
“One of my scribes is dealing with it, and I don't plan on killing you, as I have a feeling your author wouldn't agree with that. But I will leave you with a lesson not to tick me off…” As the figure finished speaking, he fired the bolter half of his weapon at Deadpool’s hands, blowing both of them off. “I’ll be off then, but I will be watching you and my characters…” he then vanished in the same flash of light as he arrived.
“...That was weak.” He commented as his hands crawled back to him. He leaned down and the hands reattached to his bloody arms. “There we go! Don’t want any baby arms, not unless I wanna be like those vine guys.” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ErLfbFyA_Eg
“Well he was the author, silly, he could've had you blown up or have an
anvil fall on you-” Just then an anvil fell directly on Deadpool cartoon style before exploding. “-like that!” Pinkie finished. “Huh, exploding anvil, how about that? Lalalalalalala…” She said before bouncing away.
“... Ow.” he said as his head grew back. “Me and my big mouth. I blame the two of you!” he pointed to Sebaste and Sebastian.
“Not our fault, and I think you’ve got incoming…” Sebaste said looking up
to see more anvils and of all things, a Land Raider, falling towards Deadpool.
“♫Stop!♫” Deadpool sang. Everything stopped like a cartoon. “♫Wait a minute...♫” He scooted to the side. With a snap, everything fell to the floor “♫Fill my cup, put some liquor in it.Take a sip, sign a check. Julio, Get the stretch!“ A random guy appeared next to Deadpool. “Ride to Harlem, Hollywood, Jackson, Mississippi. If we show up, we gon' show out. Smoother than a fresh jar of Skippy♫”
Damn you Deadpool! That would’ve had the readers howling with
laughter!
“Who’s to say it didn’t? Now get outta here, Julio! This is my stage!”
“My name’s Jeff.” He spoke before disappearing.
Fine, but I think it's time for you to hit the road yourself!
A portal suddenly opened up above Deadpool.
“Wait! What!? No! I’ll never go!” The world paused as a Legend of Zelda Screen came in front of Deadpool. He flipped and equipped the Iron Boots. “Ha! I’mma stay here and have some fun! Oi! Since I meet Pinkie, Where’s Applebutt and Lesbian Dash! I need their help to prank sunbutt!”
At this, the duo turned deadly silent. “They're gone, Celestia and Applejack were killed and Rainbow was kidnapped during a war against another Displaced…” Sebastian said quietly. Deadpool stared silently. He then laughed.
“HA!!! Good one, guys! For a minute there, you actually made me feel sad! Yeah, where are they at? Hey! A.J.! I got apples here! And Dashie! I got a new Daring Do book for ya! And my body is ready, P.C.!”
The duo glared at the merc. “You think we’re making this up? We were there when Celestia and Applejack were killed!” Sebastian snarled. Deadpool stared again, then awkwardly laughed.
“Hey, come on guys. I-I know I’ve been a bit of a pain in the ass, but… this is a bit dark for a prank, eh? I be that if I walked around, A.J. will be with her little Sis, Dashie will be with Scoots, and P.C. will be enjoying either a slice of cake, a banana, and/or some tea.”
“Still don't believe us? Let us show you what we mean.” Sebaste said before bringing up a hologram of the Equestrian Black Crusade, from the first attack to the final battle, including the fates of Applejack, Celestia and Rainbow Dash. Deadpool, despite wearing a mask, was noticeably sweating.
“G-great effects and all… b-b-but that ain’t gonna work! Now if you excuse me, I got to meet with the CMC! I wonder if they have their cutie marks here?” He teleported away.
In the CMC clubhouse, All three of the fillies sat together, thinking of ways to get their cutie marks. It was interrupted by Deadpool appearing before them.
“Wassup, wittle fiwwies!” Deadpool spoke in a baby-ish voice. “Aw, you three don’t have your cutie marks yet? Don’t worry! You’ll get them soon... In Season 5.”
“Howdy mister!” Applebloom greeted. “I ain’t ever seen anyone like you around here. Who are you?”
“Call me Deadpool, my Sweetie Belle, Scootaloo, and Applebloom.”
“What the-!?” Scootaloo yelled “How do you know our names?”
“Easy! I know everypony around town and beyond. Kinda like Pinkie Pie.”
“...Are you a friend of Pinkie Pie?” Sweetie Belle asked.
“I’m a friend to everybody! Well… except for those two huge guys that may have a real love for each other (if you catch my drift)”
Deadpool….
“Oh, sorry kids, gotta take this. Yellow!? I’m in a busy conversation here with these adorable kids here to find out where their sisters are!”
“Sisters?” Scootaloo asked.
“Oh, sorry. Half-Adopted-sister, otherwise known as, Rainbow Dash, my chicken!” He rustled her mane.
“She got taken by a cybernetic version of herself during the defense of Equis…” Scootaloo said, her eyes tearing up “I don't know where she is or what’s gonna happen to her… Apple Bloom lost Applejack when a monster crushed her. That same monster killed Celestia also.” Deadpool’s left eye twitched.
“...Oh no! This is NOT happening! This has got to be some elaborate prank that those guys, Pinkie Pie, or Discord are doing!” He picked Applebloom up. “Dashie in trouble, I can understand, but A.J. gone!? Oh no! She’s probably napping in the farm! Come on!”
“B-But Dead-” Deadpool kicked the door open before Applebloom could finish.
“To Sweet Apple Acres!!!” He yelled, running at top speed to the farm, only to be stopped by Sebastian and Sebaste.
“She’s dead, you heard Scootaloo confirm it.” Deadpool teleported back to a standing position.
“She’s a kid! Kids overreact to a lot of things! Believe me, I was one of the kids who saw Transformers the Movie in 1986! I cried when Optimus Prime died! Now, if you excuse me, A.B. and I are going to have a family reunion!”
“But Deadpool,” Appelboom spoke, tearing up “Mah sis’-” They teleported to the farm.
“Hey! Applejack! You here!? Dash is in trouble! We gotta rescue her! If she’s in a coma, you can kiss her to wake her up like in Maleficent! Minus the incest!” He turned to see Big Mac. “Hey! McDonalds! Know where your other sis is at? See, Dashie’s in a pickle, and I think I’m gonna need her help to find our pegasus friend. Know where she’s at?”
Big Mac pointed at a grave near an apple tree. Deadpool gently dropped Applebloom and looked around the tree.
“Oh Appleja~ck! Where are you!? Hold on… are you in the leaves!?” He peeked his head in the branches. “Let’s see… leaves… twigs… apples everywhere... ooh! Squirrels! Yet, no Applejack. You’re a pretty good hider, A.J, even with an orange coat.” He fell and landed near the grave.
The legend inscribed was: Applejack
Element of Honesty
A Friend and sister
Taken from us during the Equestrian Black Crusade
May you rest in peace…
Deadpool stared at the tombstone, blinking and remaing silent.
“ALRIGHT!!!” he yelled in anger. “WHO'S THE SICK F**K THAT MADE THIS!?”
Sebaste walked up to him and said, “This is what we’ve been trying to tell you, she was killed by an ally of the Displaced that attacked us, same with Celestia. Rainbow was kidnapped by one of the guy’s followers named Rainborg, a cybernetic version of her.”
“We both failed in protecting them, and we paid dearly for it…” Sebastian spoke up. “But we keep their memory in our hearts and our minds.” Deadpool turned to them, then back to the grave, back to them, the grave, and back for several seconds.
“YOU MOTHER F***ING LAZY ASSES!!!” Deadpool yelled and charged at them. He began to deliver punches to Sasha’s chest, breaking his own hands and arms in the process. “THIS IS NOT SUPPOSE TO HAPPEN!!! APPLEJACK’S NOT ALLOWED TO BE DEAD!!! HER FAMILY NE-E-EDS HER!!! BIG MAC! GRANNY SMITH! GOD DAMN APPLEBLOOM!!!” He then headbutted on Sasha, leaving a mix of both blood and tears. Deadpool fell to the floor with a mashed in face, but like his arms, it healed fast and back to normal. Both saw Deadpool crying hard, taking his mask off and hugging it, but they could tell he was now sniffling. “Oh God… Applejack… I wish I was there… you were the most fun when I messed with your hat and had fun with your family.”
“You think we don't feel the way? We never asked for that War! But now, we have to live with the consequences of it…” Sebastian spat. “We caused the enemy some pain, Sebaste actually took out one of the generals during the last battle! But it was too little, too late…” Deadpool turned to Sebastian, showing his cancer covered face.
“Too little!? Too late!? YOU ARE LAZY AF!!!” He stood back to his feet. “Am I the only guy that, though is immature, I give it my all! Do I give everything my maximum effort!? Need me to scratch your asses, now? Need a watch to check the time!? Or do you want me to rescue Dashie!?... F**K IT!!! I'M COMING, DASHIE!!!” He turned and ran to Canterlot. “Mooncheeks!!! I require your princess Freddy Kruger help!!!”
“Luna? She turned traitor, went to the enemy side,” Sebastian snarled. “She won’t be seen here… As for Dash? She got turned into a combat drone for the New Black Legion. We have video footage of that…”
“GODDAMMIT!!! Is there anyone we can trust that isn't dead or evil!? I'm starting to regret ever jumping into this world. Things are now… Complicated… and sad… I hate it!”
“You should know by now, not all Equestrias are as happy and carefree as yours, I’m sorry you had to find this out, but we never asked for that war.” Sebaste said.
“... War… war never changes… F**know. ”
“You can thank Ahriman and his friends for what happened.” Sebastian spat. “He attacked us without mercy…”
“... Where are they?” he pulled a pistol out and cocked it. “I'm gonna kill that Sob, then skull f**k him!”
“We don't know where the remainder of the NBL is, and Ahriman is now a Void Dweller.” Sebaste said.
“A VOID DWELLER!? S**t!!!... If he ever gets back here, call me! If I'm too busy, record you both killing him, but make it as slow and painful… and label it as Saw 69; I haven't seen any Torture Port in a while. … you said Celestia passed? Is it… alright if I see her grave?”
“She’s interred in the Royal tombs, we’re not allowed in.” Sebastian answered. “But there is a memorial in the gardens.”
“... Fine. Don't want to literally beat a dead horse… that came out wrong, didn't it?”
The duo shrugged. “I’m sorry you had to find out about this,” Sebaste said. “It was never something that we wanted to happen.”
“Eh, I guess you're both right. I guess we'll also take a short cut. Hold my hands… no homo.” They both grabbed one of Deadpool’s hands. In a red flash, they all teleported to the gardens, right next the memorial. The merc walked to the memorial of Celestia, the legend reading: In memorial of Celestia, taken from us during the final battle of Equis.“So… this the memorial of Sunbutt?”
Sebaste nodded.
“Huh… I was kinda expecting some statues of cake… tea… and perhaps it being under a banana tree.” he chuckled, but it fell silent. He pulled out a bottle of Jack Daniel's and drank it from the bottle. “Oh… that hit the spot. How… how did Twilight take it?”
“Very badly, and since she saw the footage of Rainbow being turned into a combat drone, she hasn't left her room.” Sebastian answered.
“Figured.” Another swig of Alcohol. “Drink? Or are you goody-two-shoes people that don't drink?”
“We don't really do alcohol, but we do drink it on occasion, mostly the Sweet Apple Acres cider.” Sebaste answered. Deadpool pulled out a bottle of Applejack Daniels.
“Close enough. Drink up, me hearties! Yer gonna need it!” Sebaste took the bottle and then took one big swig before passing it over to Sebastian who also took a big swig.
“Deadpool, we’re sorry that we were a bit harsh with you earlier, back before we got Displaced, we thought you were the most hilarious character that Marvel had created, encountering you in real life was a shock to us.” The Spartan said with a chuckle. “No hard feelings?” Deadpool had a noticeable, anime like blush.
“Aw, thanks. I'm sorry for being a pain in your assess when I got here. ADHD, as you professionals call it. And don't worry, even if your games are going down the drain in content, story, and gameplay, at least you have Doritos, Mountain Dew, 343 Studios, and stupid as hell gamers/kids to keep you going. And you… I still don't know about your games, but I know that those games are much better than that Lane Defense game that Angry Joe and I played.”
Sebastian smirked. “You would not believe how many people play Warhammer 40,000, and the numbers keeps growing. Ever heard of Dawn of War?”
“No. Is it an app game?”
“Nope, RTS game for the PC.”
“Sorry, not a PC guy. You PC ‘Master Race’ people, claiming to be the best people ever. Here's three words you all hate: Batman: Arkham Knight. Need more? Watchmojo it!” https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=ZetWiBloQqQ
“I’m not one of those people, neither is Seb.” Sebastian said.
“Uh huh. Just like how the aliens I know aren't ‘Invaders’ and they wish to ‘live in peace’ with us. And I ain't a Mutant or human, but man, everyone, everyone Hates them mutes! They're fine with me, but when it comes to someone that's literally born that way, all hell breaks loose!”
“...” The duo looked at Deadpool in exasperation before Sebaste said, “Well, it’s been quite a day, you certainly made it interesting and now, our contract is complete.”
“Contract? Wait… of course! You both break the 4th wall as well!?”
“Har de har har…” Sebastian said sarcastically just as a portal opened up under Deadpool. “If you ever need our help, use these!” He said as he and Sebaste tossed their respective tokens to Deadpool.
“Wait! I don't wanna go!” the portal sucked him in. “I'LL SEE YOU BOTH IN HEEEEEEL!!!” And, he was gone, though a note fell. On the note, it was a crudely drawn picture of Deadpool holding two sausages with tickets to a movie. The movie tickets were to “Sausage Party”. https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=c7fP9q_LyDc
The duo rolled their eyes before Sebaste summoned a Pelican and the two boarded it and headed back to Ponyville. “I have the feeling we're going to see him again.” The Spartan said. “I don't know when, but we’ll see him again in the future.”