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// Sign Up 
// Story: TD vs Equestria Girls 
// by BronyWriter 
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No sense wasting the day about it.

I knocked on the door to Principal Celestia's office, hoping that she was still in so that we could talk. She'd find out that the three of us had returned to her school eventually, so I might as well have her find out on my terms. Granted, she could already know, given that rumors travel through schools faster than coked up roadrunners, but I might as well talk to her anyway.

"Come in," Celestia said after I'd knocked. 

I put on my best grin and opened the door. Celestia was sitting behind her desk working on some paperwork, or something. I herded Blaze and Rapids into the room before shutting the door behind us.

"Celestia, how are you?" I said happily. "It really has been too long since we-- WHOA!"

I ducked the snow globe flying at my head just in time to avoid a rather nasty bruise on my face. The snow globe bounced off of the door and rolled on the floor, coming to a stop at my feet. I grimaced at Celestia and picked it up.

"Better be more careful. A guy could get the wrong idea about your opinion of him if you do stuff like that."

"I think my opinion of you is rather clear, TD or Antares, or whatever your name is," Celestia growled, sitting back down. "If you three could please leave my school, I would appreciate that."

"Hey, I come in peace," I said, raising my hands to head level. "I wouldn't be here if it wasn't vitally important to the safety of your school and students."

"And I assume that will entail assaulting me again?" Celestia growled. 

"Oh please, curb your hyperbole," I said with a roll of my eyes. "I mean, maybe I put a little more force into my punch than usual, but again, I'm used to punching gods."

"And in case you were wondering, every word of that was, in fact, a double entendre, including the hyperbole part," Captain Blaze chimed in.

"The point is," I continued like Blaze hadn't said anything, "Something from our end is here messing things up for you on your end, and I'm here to fix Starswirl's mistakes."

Celestia frowned and tilted her head. "What does our first president have to do with any of this?"

"Well..." I paused, tried to register that, failed, then continued. "No, there's a Starswirl on our end, too. He's the one who sent the Sirens here."

"Indeed?" Celestia said, raising an eyebrow. "So your Starswirl the Just sees my school as a dumping grounds for evil things he doesn't want to deal with himself?"

"Well firstly he's Starswirl the Bearded to us..."

"He did have rather impressive facial hair," Celestia admitted. 

"Secondly..." I shrugged. "I guess he kind of did. The fact remains, though, that Starswirl the Bearded has been dead for close to a thousand years. He sent the Sirens here, and now they're causing havoc. I'm here to fix that."

"I see." Celestia narrowed her eyes and leaned forward. "You want to know what I think?"

"I can't wait."

"I think that you're just here to cause trouble again. The last time you were here, you assaulted me and kidnapped one of my students. Yes, she did turn out to be a pony in the end as you said, but I don't think that you can pull that this time. 'The Sirens' as you call them have been model students by all accounts. They've made friends faster than any students I've seen at this school, and I won't have you disrupting their education with baseless accusations."

Wait, what?

"They're thriving here," Celestia said, leaning back in her chair with a smile. "In fact, the battle of the bands was their idea, and I'm in full support of it." At that moment, Celestia's eyes began glowing green, and I knew I was in trouble. "So, with all of that said, you three are to remove yourselves from my office and my school before I call the police."

"Because that went well for you last time," I snarked. Dang it, I didn't expect her to be brainwashed. I needed another plan and fast. 

"Out," Celestia growled, pointing at the door. 

"Okay, okay, I'm going." I smirked at her and tilted my head in a nod. "See you in a little bit."

"I doubt that," Celestia said. "You are to not come back to my school."

I stood up from the chair and left Principal Celestia's office, Blaze and Rapids following closely behind me. We were a half dozen steps away from her office before Blaze spoke up. 

"So she's brainwashed. What do we do about that?"

I sighed and sadly shook my head. "There's only one way I know to break a spell like that, and it's not going to be pretty. We're going to need some duct tape, a music player and some headphones."


*  *  *  *


"I am so, so sorry about all of this. I want you to realize that before we continue. I wouldn't have done it if I thought I'd had any other options, and I know that you'll thank... you'll come to appreciate why I had to do it." I took the tape off of Principal Celestia's mouth and flinched back, awaiting the inevitable barrage of profanity that would inevitably arise from being forced to listen to this world's version of K-pop music for two hours to cure brainwashing. Instead, Celestia took a deep breath and looked me in the eye without blinking at all.

"I hate you."

"I know."

"No, I truly do not think that you understand the sheer hell fire that burns in me whenever I think about you."

"Can you at least understand why I might have done this particular thing and can you understand that I wouldn't have done it if I had any other choice?"

Celesta took another deep breath and slowly blinked. "Perhaps. I understand that you are here to help my students. I appreciate not being brainwashed anymore, I suppose. Being brainwashed makes me realize that my school has been infested with something that I can't quite deal with on my own. It's magical, you are magical, thus you are the best option for protecting my students. However..." She wiggled in her chair to move herself forward, something only necessary because she was still taped to it. "A day of reckoning is at hand for you. Something is going to happen soon, something that will make you re-think who you are and how you act around others. Very soon, TD. Very soon."

"I said I was sorry!" I retorted. "Would you rather I just left you brainwashed?"

"I suppose not," Celestia said quietly. "I would, however, like for you to cut me loose."

I looked over at Blaze and gave him a nod of approval. He nodded back and began cutting the tape off of Celestia. The second she was free, I didn't even have time to speak to her again before she socked me right in the gut. As an alicorn that blow wouldn't have hurt me at all, but as a fleshy human, her blow packed a little more punch, so to speak.

Seeing me attacked got Blaze and Rapids going, but I waved them down before they attacked Celestia. 

"It's fine," I wheezed. "I probably deserved that."

"Yes, yes you did," Celestia said through gritted teeth. "I did need to repay you for that punch to the face, and even as a brainwashing cure, there is no justification for making me endure that kind of music."

"Noted." I took a few deep breaths to get the wind back in me and straightened up. "Okay. Okay. So, are we even now? Can we get to saving your school from evil sirens?" I held out my hand for her to shake. "Truce? I promise to try to be better behaved. I know I haven't been doing a good job, and I apologize. You may not like me, but please trust that, despite my behavior, I really am doing my best to help you guys out here." I extended my hand a little more. "So whaddya say? We good?"

Celestia stared at my hand suspiciously as if she expected it to curl into a fist and, well, you know. After a few moments of it not doing that, she gingerly took my hand and shook it. 

"We're good. If you can free my students from magical brainwashing, I'll consider us completely even."

"Excellent," I said, a smile crossing my face. "So I did have a plan on how to beat them. Basically their power keeps growing the more they feed off of your students. What we need to do is break the spell they have on them."

"And how do you suggest we do that?"

"Well, we want to capture them, not have them retreat for a few years or so until they can come back stronger and with a better plan," I said, sitting down on one of the chairs opposite Celestia's desk. "To do that we'll have to break their power completely. I don't know if you remember that they're all wearing necklaces with gems on them?" Celestia nodded. "Right. That's the source of their power. I'll bet the Fall Formal crown that if we get those away from them, or maybe even break them, we won't have any more trouble from those three."

"And how do you suggest we go about that?" Celestia asked, sitting back down on her chair. 

"If we let them know that we're on to them, and that we've freed you from their brainwashing, then they'll start getting dangerous, as any cornered animal or siren does. So we've got to make it seem like the show is still going on. We have to do the Battle of the Bands."

"And I can't just cancel it because...?"

"Because if you do that then they'll know something is up. They have the whole school wrapped around their fingers. They'll just tell the school to protest and then things will get way more complicated than they have to be." I leaned back in my chair and tapped my chin. "We have to break their hold on your students. Then we can do whatever we want to them after that."

"Which will involve taking them back to Equestria." Celestia crossed her arms and gave me a slight glare. "I know you had nothing to do with it, but I cannot help but be a little annoyed that your version of Starswirl looked at my world and saw it as his own personal dumping grounds for monsters he didn't want to deal with personally. If the Sirens are powerless after the removal or destruction of their gems, then it will be no great chore for you to take them back through the portal with you, would it?"

I shrugged. "I don't see any reason why not."

"Good, then we are agreed. Now, how are you going to break the spell over my students?"

"Well, the big part is that I have to be in the Battle of the Bands," I began. "I can counter their music with my own." I raised a hand to forestall any objections from Celestia. "I won't do to your students what I did to you."

"If you do, all truce talks are off."

"Understood. Your part in this is making sure that I'm in the same bracket with the Sirens. They can go first, and I'll follow up with the counter-spell. With any luck our music will break the spell they have over them and we can pick up the sirens after that. It'll be much easier to take them back to Equestria if they don't have the ability to send brainwashed teenagers after us."

"I suppose you're right." Celestia took a pen off of her desk and began jotting a few things down on a notepad. "Very well, I'll get you in the battle. But this had better work."

"Oh I agree." I stood up and smiled. "That's why I'll be coming up with a few contingency plans. That, and I'm going to do my best to make sure that the Sirens aren't quite at full strength when we compete in the battle."

"Oh?" Celestia said, raising an eyebrow. "And what might those be? Nothing illegal, I hope?"

My smile turned into a full-blown grin. "Oh, I do hope not. No promises, though."