Gretchen’s eyes went wide. “You did what!?”
Seeing the Gryphoness standing right in front of him, carrying an expression which looked like a mix between shock and building rage, Troy could only blink while standing in temporary paralysis. Noticing how the two Gryphons were staring at each other, Canvas squirmed a little in his seat as he tried to ask “Ummm… should I ask what this is about?”
“Motion seconded!” I said. I got up and placed myself in between the two gryphons. “I have no idea what’s going on, but-”
Gretchen sputtered. “Peppy, what’s going on is that Captain Privilege over here just got me deported!”
“Wait, what?!” Troy seemed rather surprised as his brows raised at that outburst. Of course, his eyes narrowed on Gretchen before asking, “You mean you’re not even here legally?!”
Gretchen crossed her forelegs and glared at the cock in front of her. “Gee, a plague victim fled the countryside and couldn’t get a green card. You manage to put that together yourself Sherlock? And for the record, I had my nasty near death experience a full year ago. I’m about as infectious as a disco beat.”
As Troy let all that information sink in, his eyes now widening in confusion and a smidge of regret, Canvas thought the chick’s statement over for a moment before shrugging his shoulders. “Well, disco is pretty catchy sometimes,” he muttered to himself.
Gretchen turned to Canvas with a genuinely sympathetic look on her face. “You’re seriously marrying this guy? I mean, he’s hot as hell, and at first I thought he was gods damned Blade Clawston descended from the heavens, but looks aren’t everything.”
“Okay!” I interjected. “Why don’t we just sit down and talk about this like reasonable people…” This was getting way out of hoof.
Even though Troy looked like he was seriously considering making an exception to the boy standard "never hit a woman" policy after Gretchen’s comments, he was able to keep himself reserved to just a bitter glare pointed at the Gryphoness before making a small nod. Canvas nodded as well, although it seemed like he wanted to say a word or two to Gretchen as well.
I guided my, at this point highly unhinged, friend back to the booth and tried to remember everything I could from my mother's lessons on diplomacy. “Now. We’ve all said and done some things we didn’t really mean to, but I feel like this has all been a big miscommunication. Why don’t we start from the top. It’s Troy right?” I asked the Gryphon cock with a friendly, if somewhat strained smile.
Troy nodded to me silently.
My smile eased a bit. “Great, now Troy, why don’t you tell us exactly why you decided to report my room mate to… Whoever it is you reported her to and we’ll see if we can’t get you feeling comfortable enough to call off the dogs, as it were.”
Despite clearly still feeling bitter about what Gretchen said, the silver Gryphon made a deep exhale through his closed beak before starting his response. “Well, when I saw your roommate out on the street today, she looked like a lot of the victims of the Grover Pox back home. And since my younger brother was almost killed by that very same disease, I didn’t want to see another outbreak happen in Ponyville. Especially since I’m not too sure if ponies could contract it as well.”
Gretchen flinched. She suddenly looked a lot more morose. “I… I get that. I wouldn’t have come here if I thought there was any chance I was going to infect someone. You have to believe me, the disease is only infectious for a short period after your symptoms have subsided or… you know.” She shuddered. “I got that straight from the doc’s mouth… But I get fear.” Then her eyes narrowed. “Though calling sick people gross isn’t exactly the best way to deal with folks that are even more scared than you.”
I put a hoof on Gretchen’s shoulder. “Easy there…” the last thing we needed was for more name calling to start back up.
“Hey, I never called you ‘gross’!” Stated Troy bluntly in defense. However, after a couple seconds of his beak tightly pouted shut, he was still able to make a meager shrug and mutter out, “But… Okay, I wasn’t trying to word it like that when I saw you. You just looked hurt, and I didn’t want to just walk by or something.”
“Listen,” added Canvas in a more sympathetic tone towards the Gryphoness, “if it makes you feel any better, I’m sure that Troy feels bad for putting in that report. He clearly didn’t know you weren’t here legally, but you have to understand that he was only trying to do the right thing.” He couldn’t help giving a small smile back to his fiancè when he said, “I mean, that’s just the kind of guy he is. He has a heart of gold, and likes to help whoever he can. It was how we met, actually.”
Gretchen sighed and put her head in her claws. “Fuck, you’re right… Though easy on the talk like that, ya’ll are likely to give a girl diabetes.”
I poked her. “Ow.”
Canvas made a light chuckle at Gretchen’s response. “Well, if it makes you feel any better, that’s not the first time we heard that.”
Gretchen smiled, looking a lot more relaxed. “Oh yeah, you guys clearly have a way healthier relationship than the last two fea… Wait, am I allowed to say the ‘FF’ phrase if I’m a part time Egg Sucker?”
Even though his mood was lightened since then, that comment was enough to sour the Gryphon’s expression fairly quick. “I’d prefer it if you don’t. And just as a warning, the last guy to use the ‘CC’ word towards Canvas here got his face rearranged pretty badly.”
Canvas winced a little from that unfortunate memory with his face turned away from the girls.
Gretchen held up her claws. “Sorry, my LGBT group was big on the whole ‘reclaiming language of the oppressors’ deal. I mean, I’m sure Grant could explain the idea a bit better, but he bit the big one recently.” She sighed. “Plague killed a lot of good people. I’m glad your brother made it out.”
Troy nodded with a much softer expression than before. “Thank you for that, and I’m sorry for your loss.” He then added after a little thought, “And just so you know, I’m sorry for making that report, and I’ll go back to the Disease Center to refute my claim. I really didn’t mean to get you in trouble or anything, I swear.”
Gretchen nodded. “I believe you… Sorry about the snapping thing I have a bit of a nasty streak sometimes.” She folded her claw into a fist and held it out to Troy. “Griffons in Equestria?”
Troy took a second before growing a small smirk and giving Gretchen a claw-bump with his own. “Represent.”
Gretchen smiled. “Well, if y’all ever need to know where to get the best worms around here, let me know…” She looked thoughtful for a moment. “Though come to think of it, you have the best protein source ever, so that’s probably not an issue.”
The couple both laughed at her statement, but Troy was the first to reply with a half-shocked sounding, “Wait, you get worms?! What’s wrong with going to the friggin’ pharmacy for protein pills?! They’re free there!”
“And if you want,” added the stallion with a smile while nestled close to his mate, “If you don’t want to risk any paperwork to get a bottle, I know for a fact that Troy has a bunch of them that he doesn’t need anymore.”
Gretchen blushed. “Whoa. Okay, I know I was hitting on you two earlier, but that’s a bit much isn’t it?”
Canvas made a shrug with a roll of his eyes. “Just consider it an apology gift for almost getting you deported. Troy’s boss told us how bad of a shape Griffinstone was in, so we can both understand wanting to stay around these parts.”
Yeah, added Troy while rubbing the back of his head with a claw. “Even Highmount seems a bit ragged compared to here.”
Gretchen gulped, looking away. “Uh… Yeah… Totally. So I guess you want me to schedule regular visits or something… I mean, I guess harvesting and storing would be a thing, but, um… It wouldn’t be great with preservatives so…” She shuddered. “Oh boy… I have bit off way more than I can chew… Not that I’d bite! It’s just, you know, an expression.”
By now, both Troy and Canvas were staring at the Gryphoness with very uncomfortable looks on their faces. After staring at each other, and also noting my befuddled expression, Canvas was the first to clarify towards Gretchen, “Ummm… you are aware we’re talking about the protein pills, right?
Gretchen snapped her claws. “Oh! Oh… That makes so much more sense. It’s good that you’re providing for your boyfriend though, even if it’s unconventional. Moving right along to less awkward topics!”
My eyes widened. “Oh! Now I get it…” I turned crimson. My room mate was filthy. “So, how did you two meet? That sounded interesting!” I stared at the two males, practically begging them to change the topic with my eyes.
Despite seeing the insistence in her face, both the stallion and Gryphon looked back at each other uncomfortably. “Well, ummm…” Troy was the first to turn back to Peppermint to say, “It’s kind of a long story, and not exactly the most romantic.”
Canvas shrugged his shoulders and admitted, “I dunno, risking your life to save me, and then being my friend while I healed up feels like one of those old romance fables.”
Troy scoffed with a smirk. “Oh, please! You’re sounding like Rarity.”
My eyes widened. I backed the conversation up a bit. “Wait, you know Rarity? Like the Element of Generosity Rarity?”
Even though Canvas looked like he may have said a bit too much from that reaction, he was still able to smile with a timid blush as he nodded. “Ummm… yeah, I guess. She was actually the first customer who commissioned a piece of mine when I moved to Ponyville.”
“Yeah, said Troy as he added, “She also helped me pick out the ring I proposed to Canvas with.”
I was very impressed. Gretchen was right, they were connected. I turned to Gretchen, the kernel of a plan forming in my head.
Gretchen looked at me, confused. “What?”
I put a smile on my face and turned back to the couple. “So… You two know an Element… I hear the element of Magic is a Princess these days." I played with my mane a bit. "You know, the kind of person who can hand out immigration paperwork?”
Both Canvas and Troy’s brows raised in surprise at my request, but neither of them seemed to notice the dropped beak that Gretchen was giving me. Of course, since the Gryphoness was completely silent, Canvas wasn’t distracted as he answered, “Well… I’m not exactly sure, but… maybe she could help? Although I’m not exactly sure how well that topic of discussion could go.”
I smirked, the pieces falling into place. “And if Gretchen here had performed a heroic act recently? Like say, saving some poor girl from getting raped?”
Gretchen’s feathers slicked. “Pepper I didn’t do that for a payday! You were in trouble, I helped. Same as anyone else would have done.”
“I know that feeling,” said Troy with a shrug.
I blanched. Oh crap, I'd really stepped in it there. “Oh… Oh dear, I’m so sorry I didn’t mean to open old wounds I’m just…” I shrunk down a bit. “I’m still kind of in denial about the whole thing. H-how bad is it when that stops?”
“Hey, hey…” Canvas put his hoof out to rest in top of mine, he gave me a sincere look of understanding as he said, “Believe me, I know how bad it can be, but things do get better. I promise.” After giving me a caring smile, he looked over at Gretchen for a split-second before adding in a cheerful tone, “Especially when you have a good friend to help you out.”
I managed a smile. “She is pretty great when she’s not running her mouth isn’t she?”
“Hey!” The griffon spat, but she had a smile on her beak when she did it. She let out a breath. “Well, this has been a heck of a day… I guess we’ll work out the details in a bit? Right now I’ve had so much feels I feel like I’m going to fall over.”
I gave my roommate a nuzzle. “Yeah, I’ve never been much for the whole ‘night at the bar’ thing either.” I turned to the two boys and scratched my head, wondering what on earth I could offer the wealthy couple in exchange for their kindness. “I don’t know how to thank you for this. I’m not exactly the most connected person in the world… Or the most skilled. Unless you want an experienced pizza chef for some weird reason.” I shrugged. “Anyway, I’m pretty sure we’d be easy to find. It was great meeting you okay?”
Gretchen scratched the back of her neck. “Yeah. Good times… Sorry about the whole hitting on you two thing… Wait!”
She turned to the two as though suddenly struck by a flash of inspiration. “You two aren’t bi are you? Is there any chance for an epic three- OWW!” Gretchen shouted in pain as I twisted a feather.
I shot the couple an apologetic look. “Sorry, I think I might have to get this one spayed. Talk to you two later okay?”
“Ummm… sure,” said Troy with a slightly uncomfortable smile that matched his fiancè’s. “Y-yeah, although I think I should go back to that Disease Center before it closes, you know?”
“Plus, I was thinking of heading to the pet store on the way home,” added Canvas as he tried to sound like he wasn’t trying to avoid the horny Gryphoness. “Tenor’s been going through his toys way faster than I expected.”
“Oh you have a dog?” I asked, hoping to end the conversation on a lighter note.
“Yeah. He’s a Saint Bernard who was rescued by Fluttershy. Troy adopted him for us on Hearth’s Warming.” Canvas gave a glance up at his Gryphon with a smile as he said, “Just another example of Troy helping others.”
The gryphon hen shot Troy a smile. “Yeah, I think I had an uncharacteristic first impression. Catch you two later okay?”
And then I took her claw in hoof and we wandered away.
Troy and Canvas
The couple left the bar in fairly high spirits. As they walked down the Ponyville streets, Canvas shot a glance up at his fiancè to ask, “So… you think we should tell that girl about who you’re related to?”
“Hmmm… probably not,” said Troy with a shrug in indifference. “I’d rather not give her any more excuses to try mounting us.”
“Well, of course not…” The stallion then reached his head up to nibble at the tuft of Troy’s ear to make him squirm while walking. “Especially when I’d rather have you all to myself.”
Troy giggled with a deep blush as he nuzzled him back. “Hehehe, you greedy little colt~”
Canvas responded with a kiss against his cheek. “Yep. And don’t you forget it.”