Hm… New info on ponies makes me kinda wish I never got into the show... Showing these fucking idiots around a high tech facility seemed like a good idea... Lesson learned, with the damn purple horned chicken, twas not a smart idea on my part.
She practically fainted at the sight of such things, it wouldn't have been that bad... If it weren't for the constant stream of questions! I mean, does it look like I know how the damn sentinels works?! Hell no! I just know they can fly, shoot lasers, and they also have shields which we all know are fucking pains to take down properly.
Then Miss fucking rainbow before the pot of gold decides to touch everything! Don't touch the buttons, don't touch the holo screens, don't touch all the advanced alien technology! You could blow up the whole facility! I don't know what any of this shit does yet!
Then the cloud with purple hair just comments on and on about dust, webs, and the color! Fuck. You! It's my base! Not yours! Piss off! I like grey! Well… Actually, I like dark blue, it's a nice color, and black, black goes with everything, like, shit, how does it do it? No one knows, it's like… Awesome, I also like Green, greens cool, dark green, light green, but I digress.
Then the farmer asks what kinds of plants does my world have, plants? Well, we have tons of them… I know only the basics, Trees, bushes, flowers, that kind of stuff. Have any of you actually seen a banana trees seed? I have, huge and weirdly shaped… Also, there's a plant that tricks insects into landing on it, then make them slide into it, then it digests them, that shits weird.
The shy guy, oops, sorry, the… Flutters? I really can't say anything mean about her, but she's only been silent… No surprise there, but if she saw how much I actually like animals, I think we would get along, raise your hand if you like leopard geckos! Cause I love them! So cute and so curious… Awww… I want a leopard gecko… Damnit.
The cunt with the fucking sugar high just bounces everywhere, like, I told her to not touch a thing… She came out of a locked door, dragging a suit of Spartan armor behind her, it looks like Jorge's from Reach… Bitch, the fuck you doing with that? That shit ain't yours! After yelling at her, she drops it and falls back into line, but, like, seriously man, stop touching shit… Well, she did unlock a door Serenity couldn't open so… That's a plus I suppose.
Luna is only silent, just like Flutters, just asking a question here or there, and Vapor just gets hopeful when Luna asked about eyes and making them, I think I told her we can't make any… Maybe I should be nicer… Nah… Well, maybe, fuck, maybe Luna and Serenity can make one for her… Yeah, that'll be good, also, need to go get Vapors kid, she asked and I need to do that.
So after an hour of walking around and me answering things here and there, we finally stop in the armory, where they're looking at all of the guns and shit, yes, these blocks of metal are better than any of your weapons, deal with it you prissy magic relying horses.
But Serenity, who had been a bit silent, speaks up.
“We have company outside” she says
“Excuse me? Who?” I ask this with a curious hint to my voice.
“Lion birds with a dragon” she states flatly
Well shit… A dragon? Fuck man, I can't fight a dragon… Unless I have a big ass weapon….
I look over at the rack of weapons, seeing a Spartan laser, and nodding to myself, yes, I do indeed have a big laser.
I walk over and take it off of the wall, getting it attached to my back and grabbing dual SMGs.
Luna looks at me as I do this, cocking her head.
“Where are you going?”
“We got company, and they brought the big guns, I'm bringing bigger guns.” I reply, getting a little smile as I say that, God, I'm loving this too much.
“And you plan to fight alone?” She says with a little skepticism.
“Pardon, are you the one with an entire army of laser shooting and force field shielded robots? And have the ability to pick up nearly any weapon and wield it like You were born to wield it?” I ask.
She only stares at me with some weird look as I shrug, bunch of queers.
“Hey! We can help!” Says miss gnome throw up, sorry, Dash
“And guess what? Your help is not required.”
“But-”
“No! Butts are for sitting on! Shush your face hole!” She gets a confused look as the Pink one starts to snicker, yes, yes I am very funny.
“Now, stay here, all of you, don't touch anything or you will regret it.”
'Dad?'
'Yes Acid? What's up sweetie?'
'Why do you have to be mean to the ponies?'
'Cause they're not very smart.'
'Oh...'
'But you and I are, we're very smart''.
'Ok...'
The purple pretty princess turns and looks at me now after looking closely at an assault rifle.
“We are the elements of harmony, we can help you, maybe this doesn't need to end in violence.” She says this with what sounds like… She's sure it won't end out badly? They brought a dragon! They obviously mean business, the bloody kind.
I turn my head to look at her, “Rainbows don't kill.”
She gets a confused look as I turn and start walking out of the armory, and I set the SMGs on my thighs, and hold out my arm, fist clenched and my arm facing upwards, a crook in it as I bend it slightly.
Man, gotta love the badass shit Dark Souls has in it.
And after that, I head topside.
-On the Surface-
The dragon tosses the strange metal carriage into the air, slamming it does with a hand that shakes the ground as the Griffins watch silently, another Griffin working on the hatch, the Griffin working on the hatch sits back with a huff, she shakes her head before she tries once more with the large sledgehammer, hitting the hatch again before pulling the sledge hammer away again to stare at it, seeing not even a scratch, she huffs once more and looks up at the sky as she thinks to herself, that is, until the hatch opens with a hiss, and she looks back at it to see a gloved hand reach out and grab her face, she barely gets a sound out as she's yanked through the hatch and into the depths.
The other Griffins turn to see a large figure clad in metal armor with a large box shaped thing on his back, it stands up straight as it looks around, scanning the area, the Griffins pull out crossbows and a few draw out swords as it gazes at them, the dragon still keeping its attention on the carriage, before it finally looks up and at the figure.
The figure in question, pulls the large thing on its back off, holding it on its shoulder as it aims it at the dragon, the Griffins gaining grins as the dragon cocks its head, but they're smiles disappear when they see it glowing red, and beeping, they look at each other as the dragon rolls its eyes at it.
The dragon is quite large, being a purple scaled and yellow bellied one with large wings and Ruby red eyes and large curved horns, it opens its mouth to spew forth fire, thinking this as too easy for its needing to be hired, that is, until a beam for bright red streaks from the box and hits the dragon across the side of its face.
It roars in pain as it puts a clawed hand on where it was hit, holding it in pain as the Griffins gain surprised looks, looking at the figure as it puts the box back onto its back, and pulling off two small black devices off of its thighs, and it aims them at the Griffins, and a voice comes from it.
“Mother fucking cunts on my lawn?! Looks like it's time to mow ‘em down!”
The hail of death from the figure then starts.
-Back to me-
I swear, whoever is banging on the hatch is about to have a bad time.
Like, that's annoying as fuck, are they trying to fucking break it with a hammer or some shit? The fuck man, stop doing that shit.
I open the hatch to see a Griffin looking up at the sky, they quickly look at me after the hiss from the hatch, and I reach out and grab their face, they widen their eyes as I yank them into the depths behind the hatch, and I pull them to where a few sentinels hold stationary, and I toss the Griffin at them, they're small arms coming out as they grab the Griffin, who doesn't even get a scream out as they drag them back into the base, shaking my head, I climb out and onto land once more.
First thing I see? A dragon fucking up my Puma… You fucking piece of shit! That's my Jeep!
I look out to see who else joined the party, seeing a few Griffins looking at me as they draw their weapons out, looking at me as I watch them, I then turn back to the dragon, who looks up at me as it lifts its head up.
Fucker ain't that scary… Ever seen a Fatalis before? Now that fucker is scary, if I see one of those, I ain't gonna fight it unless you give me a death defying reason.
But I digress, let's fuck these guys up.
I pull the Spartan laser out, aiming it at the dragon as it opens its mouth to breath out… Well, whatever it breathes out.
I pull the trigger and wait for a few seconds before I see the red beam fire, going across the dragons face and burning its scales, not really doing much but seeing it roar in pain now, means a direct hit will kill, or, mortally wound the fucker.
I place the Spartan Laser onto my back again as I turn and look at the Griffins, who look utterly surprised as their trump card is now roaring in pain, and I grin under my helmet as I pull my two SMGs out and aim at them.
“Mother fucking cunts on my lawn?! Looks like it's time to mow ‘em down!” I call out, as I pull the triggers and watch as a hail of bullets rain upon them.
There's like… Five of them? And a single dragon? Two of the Griffins fall from the bullets, the other three taking cover behind some trees as I keep them pinned.
The dragon, seeming to be fine now, turns to me in anger, and I look towards it as it breathes a fireball at me.
I quickly roll away and start running as I get back up from my roll, fucking boss fighting this shit right now.
I open fire on the dragon, my bullets doing nothing to its scales as it fires another fireball at me, fucking bitch.
I'm able to out run that one, but I know it's thinking, because it's looking ahead of me… Oh fuck me…
It fires another one that hits right in front of me, I'm blown back and my shields pop and spark around my armor as it tries to recharge as I fly through the air and land on my back, skidding a bit across the ground.
I slowly get up and groan as the dragon roars and charges at me. Me being me, I roll out of the way as soon as I’m up, backing off and putting the SMGs back as I pull out the Spartan laser again, I continue to back off as the dragon looks at me as the Spartan laser charges up, and I fire another beam at it, this one hits its front arm, putting a large hole through it that's immediately cauterized from the heat.
It roars once more as it grips its arm in pain, and I charge up another shot, it glares at me, but gets a terrified look as I aim at its head, and it moves a second too late, as the beam fires and races towards its head, to which it then puts a hole straight through its eyes, and it drops dead.
Fucking overgrown iguana, I turn to the last of the Griffins, only to receive a crossbow bolt into my side, a spot where my armor doesn't cover it, and I feel burning pain as I hold where I was hit.
'D-Dad! A-Are you okay?!'
'I'm fine Acid, daddy's gonna need to just tough it out'
I can feel it bleeding, and I hiss in pain as I shake my head and look up, the Griffins have advanced and seem to be both terrified, and cocky, as I'm now hit, but the dragon is dead.
I quickly pull out one of my SMGs, and they quickly freeze as I open fire on them again, they scatter away as the bullets fly everywhere in their direction, one of them being hit and the other two flying away as they're friend goes down, screaming out in pain as he dies quickly after a few more bullets go into him.
The last two fly off quickly, and I fire another small hail of bullets to keep them going, but stop after I hear the SMG click empty, and sigh to myself.
“Fucking bastards got me… Should I not really feel this pain? Fuck if I know, I hate pain…” I sigh again as I look around at the now silent area.
Fuck man, seems battles go a few ways, and the two most ways… Are slow and long… Or fast and it ends quickly…
Sentinels now start coming out, going for the dragon to scan it, and maybe take scales and other things off of it for research.
I stand up straight as I hold my side.
Looks like I got new enemies to deal with… Fan fucking tastic.