//------------------------------// // Chapter 11: In Which I Learn a New Trick // Story: Scales the Draconic Oddball // by Kowlickkid //------------------------------// Celestia walked by at dusk with a stone face. The four of us in the area followed her with our eyes, but to our surprise, she didn't stop until she was about to go out the exit. She said a single sentence. "Excellent performance, dragon." Then she walked out with what I believed to be a small smirk playing along the edges of her lips. "What the heck just happened?" I asked the others. "Apparently, Blueblood is more disliked than we thought.", responded the Meat-mare. "Go figure." We all fell silent as footsteps were heard from the other direction. Princess Luna stepped into the clearing, her ethereal mane flowing gently in a non-existant breeze. After pausing for a few seconds, ahe resumed walking and stepped forward in front of me, where she turned to face me and slowly sat on her haunches. Not a word was said. We merely observed each other, sizing each other up while I wondered what she was here for. Finally, she spoke. "So. Thou art the one who hast caused the chaos amongst us." She stood up and started to slowly walk. "Indeed," I responded, hoping she was listening in on my brain. "I am the one who has brought ire upon Celly." Her face was genuinely surprised. "How is it that thou speaketh in such a manner? It is as though you have many different personalities lurking inside your shell." "I hath not different personalities, merely different moods, with speech patterns that adapt to the current situation. I see that thou also hast two speech patterns." "How dost thou know?" "It is quite obvious. In the presence of those who would rather have you speak the current dialect, thou tryest thine best to imitate their speech pattern, yet in the presence of someone you suspect to be more understanding, you lapse into ye old medieval talk." She slowly circled around me, observing my features. "Thou are not a common dragon, Scales. Neither in mentality nor in body structure. Such as this." She tapped the end of my tail lightly with her hoof. "The few dragons that have such tail adornments often have them much smaller, and they usually never grow larger than their eyes, yet thine tail sphere is larger than thine fist." "'Tis true, I art not ordinary. And, contrary to popular belief, I wasn't here to cause trouble." She regarded me suspiciously. "Then why were thou in Equestria?" "Passin' through. Going across Equestria was a bit shorter than going around, or it would've been, if I didn't get stoned." I lapsed back into my more modern tone. She winced a little and smiled sheepishly. "Thou hast mine apologies. Tia wasn't in a very good mood that day. She kept on sensing what I can assume was you, and she called it a great and unknown power. She has been a bit concerned ever since the recent incidents of Nightmare Moon, Discord and Chrysalis." I mentally stared at what I hoped was the fourth wall. "Now I'm concerned on a number of levels." ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Luna stayed and talked for quite a while. We asked each other questions, and answered them to the best of our knowledge. The other three statues in the clearing were either quiet, or they couldn't get into our mind. I guess it was better that way. "One last question before I go, Scales. What is thine secret to annoying my sister?" My eyes sparkled, and I would've grinned devilishly if I could've. "Well, well, well. I see someone else wants a little tutorial in the art of annoyance. Okay, listen up. First rule: Compassion and pity must be at a minimum. Sure, there's a limit to the people you should annoy, but make that limit the absolute line between annoying and being an absolute jerk. Second rule: You must know everybody's weakness. More weakness equals more possibilities to annoy. Third rule: Take pretty much whatever chance you get. Fourth rule: Pranks are acceptable, but not really the absolute best. Those are the basics. Everything else comes from you just doing things. Try stealing Celly's cake whenever she tries to eat. Maybe give a fake jealousy act, pretend you're being Nightmare again. If she accidentally does something she doesn't mean to do, you subtly ridicule it. If she passes gas, you say... "That was uncommon of you?" "Way to spill the beans, sis. Something like that." "Well, I enjoyed this wonderful chat, Scales, but I must raise the moon. Maybe we might speak again.", she said as she walked off. "Ciao... Ciao... Chow... I want food..." I retreated back into my subconscious and proceeded to stuff myself with peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- One Week Later Luna stopped by a few more times. She was really a nice gal, and she found that she could tell me her problems and I would listen. By now, I had accepted a bit more the fact that I was encased in stone, and I was in my subconscious for long periods of time, and I actually was getting better. I wouldn't die as quickly. That's an improvement, right? Soon, I was taking a couple at once to help my reaction time, which was noticeably speeding up. And there was another breakthrough. The data. Oh boy, that data. In a fight, data would pour into my head, filling my thoughts with possibilities and information galore, sometimes giving me instructions as if I was playing a videogame, a mechanical voice sounding in my head with arrows and images appearing in my line of vision. I also found out that I could access data files in my mind. Memories, info, all catalogued in mental folders, as if I was a highly advanced computer. I also resumed playing the ukulele, one of the greatest instruments of all time, in my controlled dreams. It was a visiting day at the statues again. Me and the other three were having our sadistic pleasure in silently mocking the citizens when who should appear around the horizon but... "Cheerilee? And her class?" I got a mental image of a few episodes of Mrs. Munger. "FIELD TRIP!" "Hey lookie, everybody! Those are the three fillies that helped me escape last time. 'Course I the shell was weakened after a couple thousand years. I doubt I'll break free anytime soon." The entire class was there. Scootaloo, Sweetie Belle, Applebloom, Diamond Tiara, Silver Spoon, Featherweight, Dinky Doo, and every other pony in the class. The two bullies were obviously not paying attention to the teacher, instead focusing their attention on the CMC, who were listening a little, but mostly observing. "...And this, class, is the new area which contains statues of what were once the most dangerous threats to all of ponykind. It includes the Meat-mare, Sigmund the Shattered, the recently moved Discord," Here she gave a glance to the three blank fillies, who twiddled their hooves a little in the dirt. "And the newest addition to the gardens, who hasn't been given an official name yet." "Are you kidding me?! She didn't even tell the press my NAME?! Celly, when I get out of here, I'm going to kill you." "Many ponies have reported strange ongoings since the new statue was added, including Prince Blueblood, who was rumored to have fainted on this spot. Ponies have begun to try to name this creature, some examples including Dracozilla, The Scaled Menace, Reptilisius and simply, The Dragon." I mentally banged my head against a wall. "Dracozilla? Are you serious? The Dragon? Somepony has a distinct lack of creativity. Reptilisius is okay, but The Scaled Menace? Heck, all I did was annoy a few ponies and sucker-punch Pinkie, which I'm pretty sure she didn't mind much." "Well, ponies will be ponies." remarked Discord. "They're not the sharpest spoons in the shed, but somehow they're at the peak of the social pyramid." "Neither are you, Discord." deadpanned the Meat-mare. "Oooooooooooooooh..." called me and Sigmund. "Do you smell fire? 'Cause you just got BUUUUUURNED!" I thought to him. Our attentions again riveted on Cheerilee, who had just been approached by what could only be a messenger. She nodded and smiled a little. "Class? There's been a slight delay. Somepony I know is nearby and she asked to speak to me. Stay right here for the moment, and this kind sir will watch over you." As soon as Cheerilee left the clearing, the class erupted into speech. "So how are we gonna git ahr cutie-marks, fillies?" asked Applebloom. "Maybe you should try squabbling like last time." taunted Diamond Tiara. "You could get a cutie-mark in monster-freeing." I mentally scowled. "Dagnabbit, girl, you are one sorry filly. Not only are you a worthless filly, but you're cutie-mark seems absolutely useless. What's it mean, anyways? You're good at wearing tiaras? Pretty useless talent if ya ask me." Of course, I was mocking her, knowing that only the other three statues could hear me. And I meant what I thought. In my opinion, Diamond Tiara is evil incarnate in the form of a pony jerk. But what happened next was unexpected. Her eyes narrowed, and her teeth crunched audibly. "Who. Said. That." she said threateningly. I mentally blinked. "Who said what, Diamond?" asked Silver Spoon. Diamond Tiara whipped her head around. "You heard it. You couldn't have not heard it. Someone called me worthless and useless. Who. Said. It." Silver Spoon looked confused. "Nopony said that. The blank-flanks are absorbed in their discussion, Featherweight is attracting attention over there and nopony else would've dared." Her eyes narrowed. "Oh, I see. It was YOU, wasn't it?" Silver immediately backed up. "No, Diamond Tiara, it wasn't me." "So that's your game is it?" More and more faces were being drawn towards the commotion. "You pretend like your my friend and then you stab me in the back." "N-no, D-d-diamond, I wouldn't say that about y-you." She circled slowly around her, dangerously observing her. "Oh no, of course you wouldn't." she said, voice dripping with sarcasm. "Then who did say it?" "Diamond, nopony said anything about you." commented Scootaloo. "You must be hearing things." "Yeah!" agreed Featherweight. "And why would you take it out on Silver Spoon? Isn't she, you know, your best friend?" She shot them both dangerous looks. "You two stay out of this... Unless you know who did say it." I felt that it was time for me to try to intervene. If my theory was correct, I was going to have fun. "Oh, hush your mouth, DT. It's not like anypony should actually listen to you." Her eyes widened. "Right there! You must have heard that! Just then!" Heads were shaken all around, denying any thoughts she had. I wondered. 'If I can speak to others using my mind when I try, can I also read their thoughts?' A familiar sight appeared, resting on my shoulder. "Why don't you give it a try?" said the voice of my subconscious. "It might work, it might not. What is there to lose?" I grunted in agreement and tried to concentrate on the mind of Diamond Tiara. At first, zilch. Zippo. Nada. At second glance, however... still nothin'. I tried taking a different approach, imagining my mind accessing hers with a cable. Lo and behold, time almost seemed to slow down and I heard a voice in my head. "What is happening to me? I'm not going insane, am I? No, it must be a trick. A trick by those insufferable three fillies with the bare flanks." I smiled. 'Bingo. Let's see what else I can do.' Through methods I could not explain, I was pulled into my mind into a dark room. Suddenly, thousands of images of folders appeared around me, each with a name or phrase on it. They were all moving at once, and to say it was confusing was an understatement. In an effort to make it a bit easier on me, I roared out, "Alright, calm down and organize yourselves way simpler. Let's start with conscious mind and subconscious mind." The folders floated still and two more appeared in front of me, each labeled according to the previously mentioned topics. The others started flooding into where they presumably belonged, leaving just the two, bulging. I approached the one marked 'Conscious Mind' and tapped it with a finger, causing the other to disappear and a small stream of folders to come out, marked in different ways. "Hmm, Memories, Recent Thoughts, Personality, Issues, Friends... Let's check out this one." I pointed my finger at the one marked 'Recent Thoughts' and it immediately opened, displaying a large screen filled with text. "This is uncannily like a computer... I like it." I read some of the entries, and eventually stopped, as I had no very good reason to go poking around. "I think I'll just have a nice little chat with a few ponies, see how far I can take this." I swam out of my mind and found that the scene hadn't changed in the slightest. Nopony had even moved. 'Okay, so when I read minds, I do it faster than I think. Sweet.' I established contact with Diamond Tiara. "Don't worry sunshine, you're not mad. At least, not yet. It's funny how insanity can just suddenly appear, isn't it?" She looked around in fear. "Wh-who's saying that?" "To answer your question, I'm the guy standing a little to your right. No, your other right. A bit further. Okay, you're looking right at me." Her eyes began to look like saucers. "Yes, I'm the big and tall reptile, and I'm talking to you telepathically. Go figure. And before you say anything, just don't. I can read your mind perfectly." "I must be going nuts." I heard her think. "No, no, dear filly. You are not nuts, that would be me. I am a telepath. Now close your mouth before a fly lays eggs in there. You ever heard of a breath mint? Sheesh, I can smell your breath from over here, and it ain't pleasant." "But, why talk to me?" "Oh, don't worry, it won't last much longer. I'm just gonna say this: Girl, you are a jerk. Big time. If I could, I would mentally slap you so hard you'd fall unconscious. Unfortunately, I can't. Too bad. But filly, stop being such a total high and mighty snob. You're not that important. I mean, seriously, a tiara for a cutie-mark? That's just plain wierd. Oh, and ya might not want to talk about this. Can't have anyone thinking your insane, can we? Toodle-oo." I ended transmition with an evil laugh. 'Oh yeah, I'm gonna have fun with this.' "I'LL SAY!!" exclaimed Discord. "You can talk to others without them wanting you to! I can't wait to see Celly's face when you do that!" "And that's not all. I can also read minds, whatever's stored in 'em. Memories, emotions, dreams, you name it, I can probably read it. Heck, inside Diamond's brain there was a folder marked 'Embarrasing moments'. Can you imagine the trolling I can do right now?" "Typical" remarked the Meat-mare. "He discovers something powerful with excellent possibilities, and all he can think of is how he's going to embarras someone. There's your common dragon." I gave her the mental 'Are you kidding' face. "I do what I want with my crazy psychotic powers, and I'm gonna exploit them to my heart's content, and you can't stop me. I can't wait to check out Celly's embarrasing moments. *Cue deranged evil laugh*" ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Later that night Celestia strolled into the clearing as I prepared for conversation. I heard snickering from Sigmund and Discord and a scoff from MM. Who cares what she thinks? "How's it going, Celly?" She jumped what I believed was twenty feet in the air. "21.43" said Discord. I gave a low whistle. "Not bad." The princess touched down on the ground, visibly shaken. Discord and Sigmund immediately started guffawing, and it was with the greatest of efforts that I managed to keep a stone face...(U Mad at pun?) She adjusted her crown and stared at me. "You didn't, did you?" she inquired hopefully. "Eeyup, I did. You know, it's funny how mind speaking can work. You can either think your thoughts, and hope the other reads them, or you can send them out, whether they want to hear or not. Likewise, you can either read the other's thoughts or let them send them to you. And I notice that I am sending my thoughts to you instead of you reading me." I sent her a mental troll image. "U Mad, Celly?" She stuttered incoherently before finally finding her word. "How?" "Oh, I don't know. Probably something I had all my life, but only discovered after being stuck in this hunk of stone for a week. You know, I don't know whether to thank you or kill you for this. I could thank you for sticking me in here where I can train my mind, or I could kill you because: 1. I was going somewhere. 2. It can get kinda boring in here. 3. Do you know how much pain I have been through because of that training? I've literally died." She straightened. "Your mental struggles are of no concern to me. You are in there for a reason, and you're not coming out anytime soon. Get used to it. And soon, veeery soon, you will spill the beans on where you came from and what you are doing here." "I've spilled beans plenty of times, and let me tell you, dragon methane is highly explosive. As in, 'hit-the-deck-it's-gonna-blow' explosive." She gave me a look of disgust and left. I made a decision. "Hey, inner beast, you there?" He appeared floating in front of me. "Yeah, outer wierdo?" "Two words. Intensive training. Hand-to-hand fighting, weapons, information, mental excersize, crafting, magic, the whole kaboodle." He grinned almost evilly. "As you command, dude. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- One Month Later I finally came out of my subconscious, the strain of training almost making me pant, if not for the stone coat. Immediately, Discord shouted in my head. "YOU'VE BEEN IN THERE FOR A MONTH!!! I've missed you, ya crazy reptile! Celestia was about to tear ya down and force open your brain." "Well, ya might want to get used to it. The pain in there gets pretty bad, but I'm gonna do it. Why? Because it'll make. Me. Awesome." "Not the most noble reason, but reasonable." "Well, give Celestia my regards, and tell her not to worry, I'll be all right. Catch ya later." "WAAAAAII..." I was gone again, retreating into my mind for more training. May my mind have mercy on my soul. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Two Months Later This time, I gasped as I appeared in my body, my eyes rolling back into my sockets to see a large group of ponies staring. "Whaddayou lookin' at?" Their eyes immediately widened and they scattered. I rolled my eyes and groaned. "What's up?" asked Discord. "Well, the me inside me doesn't do things halfway. He's practically killin' me with this training, but I'm going to go through with it. He says we're already pretty much halfway done, but he doesn't know yet. How's the fort been holding up?" "Decent. Nothing big happened. Celly was a bit crabbier and Luna, a bit more wistful, but nothing really serious." A streak suddenly appeared and there stood Celestia in all her shining glory. "So, you have finally awakened." She pointed a horn to my chest. "Speak now, what were you doing?" "Training, now if you'll excuse me, and even if you don't, I'm gonna get back to it. Ta-ta for now, Celly." ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Three months later "Ouch." I muttered. The last six mental months I had spent training were torture, but I had gotten better. Much better. I could even breathe fire in four different ways: Blowtorch, flamethrower, burning fireball, and my fave, explosive blue fireball. I loved that fireball. One hit to a large tree, and it blew a hole practically right through. Wouldn't vaporize the tree, but you get the idea. "Finally! I was wondering when you'd come out! Fortunately, for a guy who's spent a couple thousand years in a statue, three months is nothing." I mentally smiled. "Nice to be back, Discord. You kept my place warm?" He saluted. "Operation: Troll Celestia has been put into effect and is doing very successfully. You shoulda seen her face when Luna stole the cake she had managed to smuggle out of the kitchen to here." "Ooh! Hold on one sec!" I quickly accessed his memories and brought up a frozen image of Celestia levitating a plate in front of her, a look of pure shock and sadness on her muzzle. Discord started laughing uproariously. "That's the one! Bah-ha-ha-ha! The look is PRICELESS!" I chuckled. Being able to copy instructions from your mind and put 'em into somebody else's is useful. "Hey Scales, is that a late-night visitor over there?" I looked and the figure of a unicorn could be seen. Something about it was familiar to me. A slight glow came from it's horn and a smile lit up my mental face. "That's Lena!" And indeed it was, Lena, in all her pinkiness, was right there. "Who?" "Oh, we met a while ago after I saved her from some beasts. She hasn't noticed me yet, I see. Maybe she doesn't know." As she came up, it was clear she wasa just here to see the statues. "This is Scaled Awesomesauce calling Bubblegum. *Kshshshhshck* I repeat, this is Scaled Awesomesauce calling Bubblegum. *Kshshshck* Do you read me, Bubblegum? Can you hear?" She looked around in wide-eyed wonder until she saw me, standing there, stoned. Her jaw dropped "Scales? Is that you?" "Yup, and I would say 'in the flesh', but that wouldn't entirely be true. And, lo and behold, I have unlocked the secrets of telepathy!" She almost leaped onto me and gave my stony figure a hug. "It's been quite a while! How long exactly have you been like this?" "About 6 months and a week" Realization dawned on her as she let go. "You were here this whole time? Wow... Boring much?" "Kinda. Ya don't get much time to think about boredom while you're training mentally. Too bad I'm probably not gettin' outta here soon. Say, have you gotten used to teleportation yet?" She smiled. "Yup. I didn't really want to think on what you'd do to me, so I eventually got over my fear. *sigh* Too bad you're not getting out of here. The reason I'm in Canterlot is kind of a vacation. I got sent a free trip here by my slightly annoying cousin, but she meant well, and the trip is nice. I never expected you to be here." "Well, you should take care. Ya might not want to tell anyone about this. I guess you probably have a good night's sleep to look forward to, so I won't keep you here. But, see you tomorrow? We can have a private conversation using only thoughts." "Sure. I'll be here. See ya around." She turned and started to step away. I felt a small weight on my shoulder and found mini-me there. "You know, I've been saving this stunt for a good time, when you were ready, and I think you're ready now." He suddenly jumped at my head and phased right into it. I felt my heart pumping loudly. 'Hold on a minute, I'm stone! How is my heart beating? It hasn't been beating for the past six months!' My vision swam into slitted mode and I could feel muscles tense up. Lena stopped walking away and turned around for some reason. then I heard it. A cracking sound. I turned my eyes down to my chest. Right on the left side, a bit centered, was a crack. Another crack. They started coming into view all over, making loud noises. I felt more muscles tense up even further, and more cracks greeted this fact. Finally, it all shattered. Time seemed to slow down as I was in the air, stone flying from my body as my lungs took in oxygen. I touched ground and then my face met it. 'Can't move.' Lena rushed to my side, eyes wider than a fat man's girth. "You just broke out of stone." she said quietly. "Um, I hate to break the impressive awesomeness right now, but I can't move. After six months of not moving muscles, I can't really move them. Little help?" She smiled, and I could swear I saw tears in her eyes. "Sure. We'll get that taken care of in a jiffy." She gave me a touching hug. (Everyone get ready for D'aww. And a one, and a two, and a one, two, three, f-) "Um, it's already been hundreds of jiffies, and I'm still not moving. A jiffy is a real unit of time, a hundreth of a second." Well, way to ruin the moment, Scales. At least you got her to carry you a ways. Sheesh, ya can't even move. Well, the global exams will soon cometh, and it's gonna be a bit tough for me, seeing as how I'm doing everything in Spanish, which isn't so surprising, considering I live in Spain, but still, second language. Even though I've been here for 6 years, it's still a second language. Basically, we have normal brain, and we have brain on Spanish global tests, which looks more like a mushroom cloud. Anyways, thanks for reading, and keep your stick on the ice.