I got back to my house and slammed the door behind me. I was scared out of my mind. I run to a diary I have been writing in since this whole thing started. I opened the diary and began to write inside of it:
Friday,March 18
I am in danger of dying. Not by anyone's hooves or even my own but I have this strange feeling that I will be gone very soon. I just wish that this was all just some messed up dream but I guess it isn't as easy as that. I have been seeing things almost every hour of the night. My dreams are plagued with the same words. 'Goodbye is not forever...' I am very troubled by this. Even if this is just me being paranoid I do have some things I wish to tell anypony who receives this Diary. I am not a saint nor a hero... I have many regrets on my chest all of witch haunt me to this day. 40 years of regrets and wishing I could take it all back... All those screams that still haunt me to this day. Maybe if I tell you about my life up till now It will bring me some closure. 40 years ago I lost the love of my life Summerset Skies and years before that my best friend Fluttershy. That's not my whole life though. Back when I was just a small colt my family was killed by A pony named Nerith. I hated him for this but now I feel as if I was the bad guy for not talking to him sooner. He is gone now; alone in the sky with his family dancing in the clouds above. After that I was forced to kill multiple foals and adults alike in a little place known as the Rainbow Factory... I destroyed it and still regret ever being there... I thought my daughter was killed but come to find out Queen Chrysalis allowed them to take one of her sick changelings and replace Nimble with it. Ponies say I don't regret watching that little guy be killed in place of my little girl.... To be honest I do... You see I am not what I seem to be. Yes I help foals who have no home and yes I protect this place with my life each and everyday... But I am still just me and I feel pain like the rest of you... And I also feel fear... Do I deserve this title of Guardian? Do I deserve the love of my children? According to most I do but deep down I feel like I don't... I don't know why I feel this way but I just do... Hell I even question if I deserved the love of Fluttershy and Summers half the time... Though I know I would get smacked by Summer if she could read this right now.
I sigh and set the quill down and rub my temples. I look to the picture of Fluttershy and me and I begin to tear up;the tears staining the paper in the diary. I look to the ground and allow the tears to fall. All these thoughts and questions flood me as I pick up the quill and continue to write in the diary:
I keep telling myself that goodbye is not forever but I have this feeling that... Maybe it is... ahh what am I saying... It may be forever but it still needs to happen... To end this note I would like to say to my children that I love them to the end of the earth and back. If I a to die and leave this mortal coil then I would like you all to know that you made everyday worth a million. From the day you were born to the day you grew up into my beautiful children... You made me the happiest stallion in the world.. Thank you all... And good luck in life... Daddy will always love you and be there for you even if it seems that he is not. Goodbye my cherubs... Be all that you can be...
Stormdrift
I set the book down and begin to cry. Why would I have to leave them to be alone? Why did it have to be this way? I throw the book across the room and smash a window as I screamed and cried. I fell to my haunches and sobbed till I couldn't anymore. I looked up to see Mystic staring at me with a sad smile. I stood up and walked to her and held her as I cried. She smiled soothingly and held me closer and stroked my mane.
"Oh Storm... it will all be fine..." I look up at her and frowned as I spoke. "How will this be okay? I am going to fucking die...." I growled a bit and slammed my hoof to the ground and scream. She holds me close and slammed me to the ground. I flinched as she did this and my ears fell back.
"CALM YOURSELF DOWN THIS INSTANT!! Would you want to scare your child?" I look to the doorway and see My youngest daughter Wild Wind standing at the doorway. Tears were falling from her eyes. I rushed over to her and held her close as she cried. I stroked her mane and kissed her cheek.
"Shhhhhhh.... Daddy is here sweetie... Daddy is here for you..." She wiped her tears on my chest and whimpered in my hooves as I spoke to her. She looked up to me and what she said broke my heart. "D-Daddy are you going to go away from us? Are you going to... die?" I held her close and teared up as well;still holding her as close as I could.
"Honey... Daddy will still be with you no matter what... I promise you... pl-please stop crying your eyes are too pretty for that." She smiled and wiped her eyes again and released me from the hug. I booped her nose and spoke.
"Now go and have some fun while I talk to miss flirty there." Nimble giggled and walked out as Mystic smacked me in the head. "Ow...." Mystic smiled and turned to leave but before she did she spoke to me.
"Storm... You may want to visit the cemetery again... It may bring you some closure..." She then walked out of my house and left me to my thoughts. I sighed and looked back at the picture of me and Fluttershy and smiled as I picked it up. I traced my hoof across the picture and spoke.
"I will be with you soon Shy... Just be there to say hello...