//------------------------------// // Chapter 3 // Story: Seven Girls, Nine Hundred Forty Three Miles, and One Minivan. // by Tumbleweed //------------------------------// “They've got an extra t.” Twilight said as she peered out the window. “I dunno, Twilight. This seems like more of a coffee kinda place.” Pinkie Pie said. “Not tea, Pinkie. 'T'. The letter. On the sign.” Twilight leaned forward and rested a hand on the back of Pinkie Pie's seat, and pointed at the flickering neon red lettering that bore the words: PITT STOP. “Huh.” Pinkie Pie scratched at her head. “Maybe it's a typo?” “How do you even make a typo on a neon sign?” Twilight said, “They found a way!” The Pitt Stop was a squat building of white-painted concrete at the center of a sea of asphalt. Tractor trailers lumbered around the stop like massive, smoke-belching whales. Stains of dubious provenance dotted the parking lot, the walls of the central building, and even the neon sign itself. A motley collection of faded, hand-written posters inside the windows advertised the Pitt Stop's unique status as both a tavern and a pancake shop. “Guys?” Sunset Shimmer said. “This place looks a little rough, so let's just be careful, okay?” “Pssh. It doesn't look that bad.” Rainbow Dash said. “Besides, everyone knows all the creepy truck stop murder hobos only come out at night.” “M-m-murder hobos?” The steering wheel creaked underneath Fluttershy's death grip. Applejack elbowed Rainbow Dash. “Don't scare her!” “I'm not!” Rainbow Dash squeaked. “I'm helping! The sun's still up, so all the face-eating maniacs are still hiding!” “F-f-f-face eating?” Fluttershy said. “Don't worry, Fluttershy. You've helped save the world three times now.” Sunset Shimmer leaned forward and put a hand on the pink-haired girl's shoulder. “You can handle a gross gas station. Just … make sure you wash your hands, okay?” “Okay.” Fluttershy said. She breathed deeply, attempting to steady herself. “Washing your hands is important.” “Especially in a place like this.” Sunset Shimmer mused. Fluttershy parked in front of one of the gas pumps. No sooner had she shut off the engine, the doors all opened, and seven sweaty, road-mad girls piled out into the (comparatively) fresh air. “You guys go ahead.” Sunset Shimmer reached into her jacket and pulled out a gleaming black credit card. “I'll take care of the gas.” Later, after the septet took the opportunity to use the Pitt Stop's facilities (and wash their hands thoroughly afterward), they trailed back to the battered brown minivan in pairs and trios. “So … let me get this straight,” Twilight said as she adjusted her grip on the bag full of supplies she'd bought. “Mothers and significant others of the driver take priority.” “Right.” Rainbow Dash nodded. “And the vehicle has to be in view.” “Right.” Rainbow Dash nodded. “And we have to be outside the building.” “Right.” “So that means I just say … shotgun?” Rainbow Dash blinked, and then looked between the brown van and her purple-haired friend, stunned. “Oh come on!” “If it means that much to you, you can have the seat?” “No no,” Rainbow Dash shook her head. “The rules are rules. You called it, you get it.” She even went so far as to open up the door for Twilight. “Just remember.” Rainbow Dash held up a warning finger. “Shotgun is a responsibility.” “I'll, uh, keep that in mind.” Twilight said. “Oh, hey guys.” Sunset Shimmer returned to the car, with Fluttershy and Pinkie Pie on her heels. Sunset twirled a set of keys around one finger, while Pinkie Pie strained to look over the stack of junk food she'd acquired. “I thought I'd give Fluttershy a break.” Sunset said, and slid into the driver's seat. “Thanks.” Fluttershy murmured. “Hey, where's Rarity? Where's Applejack?” Pinkie Pie said from behind her swaying tower of grease and/or sugar based foodstuffs. The doors to the Pitt Stop burst open, and Rarity hit the parking lot at a full sprint. “GET IN THE CAR!” Rarity had a surprising volume for someone at a dead run. “Silly Rarity,” Pinkie Pie beamed, “It's a van!” “GET IN THE VAN, THEN!” Rarity yelled. Behind her, Applejack crashed through the still swinging glass doors, while grappling with a beer-gutted, trucker-hatted man easily twice her size. Applejack grabbed two fistfuls of his plaid shirt, and then slammed her forehead straight into his nose, hard enough that the ensuing 'crunch!' could be heard across the parking lot. The big man went down, swearing and clutching at his face. Applejack swung a swift kick into his ribs, scooped up her hat, and bolted to the van (in cowboy boots, no less) with the sort of speed that made Rainbow Dash jealous. “THE HELL ARE Y'ALL WAITIN' FOR!?” Applejack shouted. Spurred to action, Sunset Shimmer cranked the ignition, and the battered brown minivan began to sputter to life. The other girls scrambled into the minivan as fast as they could manage, only to get in each other's way. Applejack didn't slow down as she reached the van, instead flinging herself inside and across the floor. She pulled her legs out of the way, and Rarity slammed the sliding door shut. “Go, go, go!” Rarity said, even as she stared in horror as the trucker Applejack had fought rose back to his feet. Needing no further encouragement, Sunset Shimmer slammed down on the accelerator, and took off. The van couldn't quite manage rubber-burning speed, but it was at least enough to outpace an overweight man in a Lynrd Skynrd cap. “Um.” Twilight said, shaken. “What was that?” “Seriously! How come Applejack got to fight a dude and I didn't!? It's not fair!” Rainbow Dash said. “Please, Rainbow. Be glad you had nothing to do with it. It began simply enough, when that … ruffian spied me while I was perusing some of the T-shirts on sale. Highway Kitsch could be the next big thing, you know. I thought he was just being polite at first, when he complemented me on my heels.” Rarity wiggled one ankle, showing off the stylish (if somewhat impractical) shoes she was wearing. “But then he kept fixating on my footwear, at which point he started breathing heavily. Thankfully, before things could become … untoward, Applejack stepped up in a great show of gallantry!” “Say what?” Rainbow Dash asked. “Guy was getting' all weird 'bout Rarity's feet, so I hit 'im with a chair.” Applejack translated. “My hero!” Rarity pulled Applejack into an adoring hug, which Applejack might've appreciated a little more if her forehead wasn't still stinging from delivering a headbutt moments before. “Wow! That jerk's lucky I wasn't there! I totally would've uppercutted him through the ceiling!” Rainbow Dash said, and mimed the action. "Boosh!" “Are we going to get in trouble?” Fluttershy twisted around in the backseat and peered out the rear window, and the rapidly shrinking Pitt Stop. “Will he call the police?” “Yeah, right. What's he gonna say?” Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes. “Hey Officer, I just got beat up by a little girl? He'd be the laughingstock of all the truck … people. That's a thing, right? Truck people?” “Like Optimus Prime?” Pinkie Pie said. “No, Pinkie, not like Optimus Prime.” Rainbow Dash said. “I guess you're right there! 'cause Optimus Prime was always nice in that cartoon! I bet he'd never perv over anybody's toes!” “I think we'll be fine.” Sunset Shimmer said, even as she checked the rear view mirror to make sure they weren't being tailed. Thankfully, the dusty highway behind them was clear. “From the look of that place, someone getting hit with a chair probably isn't all that out of the ordinary. But we'd better be careful the next time we stop. Last thing we need is to draw too much attention while we're on our way to save the world.” “What about on the way back?” Pinkie Pie said. Sunset Shimmer cracked a grin. “We'll see.” Mile blurred into mile, and hour blurred into hour as Sunset Shimmer drove down the highway. Forests and farmland gave way to more arid, rocky terrain. They got into a rhythm, stopping every so often to resupply, re-arrange seating, and relieve themselves. Thankfully, none of the gas stations they stopped at were as characterful as the Pitt Stop, so the journey pressed on without incident. For the most part. As the sun was beginning to set over the desert, something sputtered beneath the dashboard. “What was that?” Sunset Shimmer asked. No warning lights were showing, but the sudden wheezing sound was a new one, different from the various knocks and clacks she'd come to expect from the decades-old engine. Twilight Sparkle held a hand in front of one of the vents, and turned a couple of knobs on the center console. “The good news is, I'm pretty sure it wasn't the engine, so we can keep going.” “The bad news?” Sunset Shimmer asked. “The air conditioning's busted.” A collective groan rose up from the rear of the van. “But that's not anything we can't deal with as long as we stay hydrated to avoid heatstroke.” Twilight tried to put an optimistic face on it. “I bet the AC wouldn't break on Vinyl Scratch's car.” Rainbow Dash muttered. “Quit yer bellyachin' 'bout Vinyl Scratch's damn car.” Applejack grumbled from beneath the brim of her hat. “It ain't doin' anybody a lick a good.” “Please don't fight!” Pinkie Pie said, her blue eyes wide in desperation. “I can't stand it! Just hearing you guys argue makes me sick to my stomach! Urp.” She held a hand up to her mouth, and her pink complexion began to fade to more of a green. “Or … that might just be the sushi.” “I told you not to eat gas station sushi.” Rarity scolded. “But it looked so fancy!” Pinkie Pie whined, and clutched at her stomach a moment. “I thought I'd be, like, cultured and stuff.” “The only thing cultured about gas station sushi is grown in a petri dish.” Twilight said from the front of the car. She got five blank stares. “Don't worry. I got it.” Sunset Shimmer said, and reached out to pat Twilight on the arm. Twilight looked down at the hand, and then up to Sunset. “Thanks.” She said, and took a moment to adjust her glasses. “Don't worry about me, guys.” Pinkie Pie forced her now-emerald face into a rictus grin. “I just need a little fresh air, is all.” Pinkie Pie said, and stuck her head out the window. It was a lucky thing, too, as she soon let out a wet, sickly sound, and heaved up the offending gas station sushi (along with some gas station nachos, several gas station corn dogs, and a sobering amount of candy besides). “Aw jeez, are you okay?” Rainbow Dash said. “Hunky dory.” Pinkie Pie lied, and turned to offer her friend a thumbs up. “I think that was the worst of-- wait, no, hold on.” She stuck her head out the window again and made a messy, wet sound, painful to hear, much less experience. “That's it, we're stopping.” Sunset Shimmer said. “Ain't we got a lot of drivin' to go?” Applejack said. “Y'know, impending magical disaster n' all?” “I know.” Sunset Shimmer grit her teeth. “Twilight, how are we doing on time?” “Let's see … “ Twilight looked to the van's clock (the one feature on the vehicle that seemed to be operating at full capacity) and then to her own notes on her tablet. “The incursion won't take place until sometime tomorrow … and we're actually only a few hours drive away.” “So we have enough time to pull over somewhere?” “Theoretically, yes,” Twilight said, “We'd have to hit the road early tomorrow, though … “ “Then it's settled. We'll stop somewhere for the night, and push hard tomorrow morning. We run on friendship magic, after all. It won't do anyone any good if we're exhausted and at each others' throats by the time we get to where we're going.” “But where will we stay?” said Rarity, “the last town we passed was barely more than a stoplight and a gas station, and I'm quite certain the next one won't be any better.” “Don't worry, I've got an idea.” She flicked on the van's highbeams, and light reflected off the lettering of a brown sign a little ways down the road. APPLEOOSA NATIONAL PARK 16 MILES