"...So that's it, huh? Never knew-"
I walk passed two royal guards who are whispering something, they hide their faces and snicker, ugh...this is really starting to get on my nerves...and that's hard to do. I walk up to the two of them and ask,
"If I may ask a question? What are you two chatting about? Something about me, or my sister, or even a coup de tat?"
They gulp loudly and reply,
"Well...um....It's nothing like a rebellion, but I guess I can say-"
*RRRRRRIIIIIIIINNNNNGGGG!!!!!*
"Well, would you look at the time princess, it's lunch time! See you...*snicker* soon! Eh heh...ah..."
Drat, foiled again by the bell. another note to self, disable bell. Now where was I? ~Ahem, They dart too the lunch room as I go back to my throne...
Now how will I know the secret? UGH! This is sooooo getting on my nerves...ok Tia...Calm down...It's probably just a rumor...nothing more...I bet it'll pass by the next hour...Right?
***The Next Hour***
As I look around, I see that most of my guards are partying! I think I see one in the back on my throne, drinking catsup! Who does that?!
"OK! THIS IS GETTING OUT OF HA-I mean HOOF!!"
Almost all my guards are now ether staring at me with awe because I used my Canterlot voice, or that they are snickering at me. Probably both... I speak more softly this time,
"I ugh, mean, attention, all royal guards in the room! I am going right to the point! I want to know what you're all whispering about! The first pony to tell me get's a free, pre-paid, one day only, day as a prince or princess!"
They all stare at me and then get right back to snickering and gossiping....Damn, I thought the old Day-As-A-Princess/Prince Would Work...Oh well...Looks like I'll have to do this the hard way...
"ugh..fine...you all will get free caaah- caaahaaa-"
A royal guard, who's mouth was literally watering on my carpet, note to self, again, make sure this guard drowns in water. Anyways, he was watering on my carpet, licking he lips, he then said,
"D-do....you mean....-C-ca-cake?!"
Every single guard who heard that all ran up to my throne and sit down like dogs, including the one who said cake. Ugh, jeez, I think they're still talking, but now their saying cake over and over...
"Now, now, my little ponies...I will give you each a piece of my lovely MEGA-ULTRA-TRIPLE-COCO-PINKIE-SURPRISE-CAKE if even one of you tell me the secret you're all gossiping about!"
They all looked at each other for a little bit... I've got them where I want them...heh heh...Nopony can best the princess of the sun!
After a little bit, they....all cleared out....Me damnit....Hold on...there is one more! Yes!
"So..do you wish to answer my request? You'll get ALL the cake!" I say with a forced smile.
"But...I'm lactose intolerant..."
I frown so much I can see the fear in his eyes, I had to resist all my might from sending him to the moon....again.
"Get out of my sight..."
He runs right out the door, screaming to his mommy...Who keeps in putting these wimps for royal guards?! I'll have to send them to the moon later.
"Jeez...All these things I need to remember...Now who do I need to return to the moon? Oh yah, Twinkle toes cute mark now...let's-"
Just as I was going to finish my sentence, my star pupil, Twilight Sparkle jumps in...through...the...window...that's going to cost bits...Looks like i'm going to have to tap into Twilight's bit account...
"Celestia! It's bad! REALLY, REALLY BAD!"
I try my best to act like I want to see her here...
"Twilight! My faithful student! How can I help you?"
"Oh it's just terrible! Discord has-"
Just as she was about to finish, I put one of my hooves up to stop her. Ugh, I don't have time to deal with this...
"I see...Don't worry! I'm sure you and the other elements can handle him!"
"I- You really mean that?"
"I trust you, really, my student. Now go! You must defend....ugh..what's the place?"
oh, for the love of me, how did I forget the name of that place?! I mean, I've been there and back over a span of over a million years!
"Ponyville..."
"Yes, yes, Ponyville..Go now! I Really don't believe in you!"
With a confident look, she darts off....through another window....Well, looks like you're going to be broke by the end of this, my star pupil!"